Title: Tenchi Muyo - Tokimi Strikes!
Author: Rowan Seven
Teaser: Lady Tokimi sets her diabolical plans in motion! Will Washu regain her memories? Will Tenchi grow a spine? Can Tsunami bring herself to stop watching soap operas long enough to help? Can Kagato be a good guy? Will the universe be saved? All this and the identity of Tokimi's avatar, the mysterious 'Z', revealed!
Disclaimer: Tenchi Muyo belongs to Pioneer and AIC. Other characters belong to their respective creators. I am not making any money off of this story so please don't sue.
Notes: This story was inspired by snippets that have been released about the 3rd OAV series.
At Tokimi's Inner Sanctum…
Ryouga: (Kneels.) My Lady Tokimi, I have done what thou hast desired. Hakubi Ryoko, daughter of your elder sister Washu and inheritor of her power, is now our prisoner, and Tsunami and her champions shall soon arrive. What doth thou bid me doest next?
Tokimi: (Materializes in front of him.) For starters, stop speaking so formally. It's so…antiquated, and I'm an extremely liberal goddess, unlike my stodgy conservative little sister. Aaargh, just thinking about her makes me so angry! Why, I remember the time that-
Ryouga: My lady, I believe that you're ranting again.
Tokimi: Oh, do be silent! You're my avatar, and you'll put up with as many of my rants as I desire.
Ryouga: Careful, my lady. If you keep up this attitude I might just have to…join a union!
Tokimi: (Gasps.) You wouldn't!
Ryouga: I would, and I'm not alone in this sentiment. Galvatron has already joined, and I have it on good word that Mistress 9 is seriously mulling over the decision as well. Apparently she's still upset about her death.
Tokimi: (Melodramatically.) How I long for the good old days when avatars and heralds were willing to work out of sheer devotion for their benevolent and not so benevolent masters and mistresses, and if they died it was always part of the job and they waited in the afterlife for their resurrection, content and happy in the knowledge that they died in the service of their ruler. Now it's union this, protest that, if I die you have to pay my family benefits, a vacation every thousand years, etc. What ever happened to that good old work ethic?
Ryouga: It went out of style along with the 'I'm pure evil and am going to destroy everything just for the heck of it!' villains. Now everyone wants explanations and motives, a reason for why villains are evil. It's no longer, "Heroes assemble, we must stop these dastardly bad guys," but rather, "Heroes assemble, we must stop these dastardly bad guys who might not be so dastardly after all. They might even have a sensible point and explanation for their behavior. Let's beat them up and learn of their torturous past!"
Tokimi: You mean…I need to have a reason for wanting to spread chaos and strife throughout this dimension?
Ryouga: 'Fraid so.
Tokimi: Drat, this complicates matters. Umm…D3, a little help?
D3: (Materializes and sighs.) Very well then, mistress. You are beyond good and evil, light and darkness. The eternal conflict between order and chaos, symbolized by Tsunami and yourself, is one that dates back to the dawn of time. You and your sister are merely pawns on the dimensional chessboard, actors in a play larger than yourselves, and forced to act out your roles to the tragic end, regardless of personal feelings or desires. We are all trapped in this mortal coil, unable to escape from destiny's chains. Tsunami's bitter betrayal has made you more resolute than ever to continue down this inexorable path, and only through this decisive conflict can a new age dawn, for better or for worse.
12 Shadows: (Clap.)
Tokimi: Hmm, I like the sound of that. Good job D3. You may leave now.
D3: Thank you, mistress. Your praise is a treasure to me. (Speaks under his breath.) Though a raise would be more appreciated…(Disappears.)
Ryouga: Your orders, my lady?
Tokimi: Stay here, for now. When my sisters arrive, however, I want you to stand guard outside this chamber and do everything in your power to deny them access. The 12 Shadows will be positioned ahead of you, and should they fall you will be the last defense.
Ryouga: I understand, Lady Tokimi. Permission to act in character?
Tokimi: Permission denied. I'm liking your currently loyal, reverent, and faithful demeanor.
Ryouga: Darn. Permission to make a simple request?
Tokimi: Permission granted.
Ryouga: May I please put Ryoko down now? Having her draped unconscious over my shoulder has earned me a lot of odd looks, and to be frank this current position is somewhat compromising.
Tokimi: (Suddenly realizes that Ryouga is still carrying Ryoko.) Oh, right. Sure. That would be a good idea. Besides, I would like to get better acquainted with my…niece.
Ryouga: (Sets Ryoko down gently on the floor.)
Ryoko: Aargh…(Begins to wake up.) What…hit…me? Tenchi?
Ryouga: Are you all right miss? I apologize for the…roughness of my actions, but this story is leaving me little choice but to play the villain.
Ryoko: Who are you…wait a minute! You're the guy that knocked me unconscious and wiped the floor with my friends! Prepare to die! (Summons a mallet and whaps him with it. It breaks.)
Ryouga: (Shakes head.) One of these days I've really got to ask Akane just where those mallets come from.
Ryoko: (Still upset.) Since that didn't work try this! (Electrocutes him with a lightning blast.)
Ryouga: (Tendrils of smoke are wafting off him.) Nice try, but I'm a regular in the Tomobiki District. After Lum, lightning bolts just don't hold the same fear that they once did.
Ryoko: (Growls in irritation and punches him.)
Ryouga: (Rubs his jaw.) Fortunately for me, I have a superhuman endurance and constitution.
Ryoko: (Smiles sweetly.) Is that so? (Blasts him with an energy discharge at point blank range.)
Ryouga: (Charred.) Where are those light hawk wings when you need them? (Collapses.)
Ryoko: Now that that's taken care of, I just need to find a way out of here, return to my beloved Tenchi, and-
Tokimi: (Coughs for attention.) Ahem!
Ryoko: Whoa! A giant transparent top half of a woman!
Tokimi: (Smiles.) In a…manner of speaking. What you're currently seeing is only a visual projection of myself. The real me, as it were, is trapped outside the universe thanks to my accursed younger sister Tsunami.
Ryoko: I didn't know Tsunami had a sister…
Tokimi: Few do. Fewer still know that she actually has two sisters, the oldest being a spiky red-haired scientific genius with whom you're extremely familiar.
Ryoko: You don't mean…
Tokimi: Yes I do. Ryoko, you are my niece. Do you know what that means?
Ryoko: (Ruminates.) You owe me 5,000 years worth of birthday presents?
Tokimi: (Sweatdrops.) Other than that.
Ryoko: Well, I-
Ryouga: (Recovers and stands up.) Seeing as how being fried to a crisp makes me impatient, I'm just going to cut to the chase here. (Faces Ryoko.) Ryoko, as the daughter of one of the three sisters you can, with all three of your gems, generate 10 light hawk wings, ascend to a new level of existence, and help tip the balance between chaos and order in one direction or another during this upcoming battle.
Ryoko: Don't interrupt me! (Blasts him again.)
Ryouga: (Light hawk wings appear and deflect the blast.) (Mutters.) About time. (Faces Ryoko.) Tell me, is there a reason why you're committing acts of violence upon me at each and every opportunity?
Ryoko: The writer is contemplating incorporating one of those blasted love triangles into this story where, for unknown reasons, I fall head over heals in love with you and must decide whether to help you or Tenchi. As you know, in animes violence is the most commonly used method to ascertain whether there is any chemistry between two characters.
Ryouga: Arrgh! Isn't there any originality at all in this story?
Tokimi: Ibara is in it.
Ryouga: …Point.
Ryoko: So, what shall we do next to draw out this scene?
Tokimi: (Smiles devilishly.) I know! How about I tell you some interesting family stories? I'm sure you'd like to know what your mother was like back in the day.
Ryoko: Well actually-
Tokimi: (Interrupts.) Trust me, you'll want to hear these. There's a lot in them that you can use for blackmail.
Ryoko: In that case, I'm all ears! (Sits down to listen.)
Ryouga: …I guess I'll just fade silently into the background and develop devastating techniques for use in the upcoming battle.
Tokimi: You do that, and don't forget to work on your speechmaking!
Ryouga: Sure. (Sarcastically.) After all, we all know that it doesn't matter how powerful you are when fighting the good guys. Rather, it matters how cool you sound while doing it.
Tokimi: That's the spirit! Make me proud, avatar.
Ryouga: (Mutters.) That union is looking better every minute…
Elsewhere on Ryo-ohki's Bridge…
Washu: Wow. What a convoluted trail this Hibiki weaves. I do believe that I-
Ryo-ohki: Miya!
Washu: You want to pick up those two hitchhikers? Why?
Ryo-ohki: Miya miya miya!
Washu: Well, I can't argue with that logic. Beam them onboard. (The hitchhikers appear.)
Man1: Thank you m'am. I'm Arthur Dent, and this guy over here is my 'friend' Ford Prefect.
Ford: (Waves.)
Arthur: Don't mind his not saying anything. He was recently possessed by a…laringtonian slime demon, I believe it was called? Anyway, his throat is still a little sore from exhaling fire and spitting out eggs. So, um, nice ship you've got here. It wouldn't by any chance be capable of serving tea, would it?
Later…
Washu: Creator's log – personal date 5.1.3.2.1.4.E. We're still following Ryouga's trail, and I must admit to being impressed. Never before have I seen such a shifting and unpredictable course. To the untrained eye, it appears that routes were chosen at random every 5 minutes, but the greatest scientific genius in the universe shall not be deceived so easily. There must be a pattern, and after I find it I'll be able to rescue my daughter.
Kagato: Captain, we're being hailed.
Washu: I thought I told you to call me little Washu!
Kagato: (Sweatdrops.) I'd really rather not. Putting message on screen now…
Gene Starwind: Hi! I'm an outlaw currently in search of the Galactic Leyline. You wouldn't happen to have any ideas as to where it might be, would you?
Washu: Well, I-
Kagato: (Laughs.) Bah! Your 'galactic leyline' is insignificant compared to the true mysteries of the universe. Wishes it may grant, but it is confined by its own power constraints. It cannot do anything greater than the sum of its parts. You'd be better of seeking truly divine power, like that harnessed by the trees of Jurai.
Gene Starwind: Thanks for the tip, but I have personal reasons for wanting to find the Galactic Leyline. Later. (Communication ends.)
Washu: Kagato, that was very rude of-
Kagato: We're being hailed again. Putting on screen…
Kain Blueriver: Hi! I'm a troubleshooter, and we've been hired to locate and apprehend the spaceship Outlaw Star. You haven't seen it by any chance?
Washu: Actually, we-
Mihoshi: Millie? Is that you?
Millie Nocturne: (Pushes Kain aside.) Mihoshi? I haven't seen you since our police academy days! What are you doing out here?
Mihoshi: Well, I'm helping my friends stop a plot by a cosmic entity to break into and conquer this universe. Exciting, isn't it? How about you? I haven't heard anything from you since you got fired!
Millie Nocturne: Well, after my dreams of becoming the best detective in the universe and writing a bestselling novel based on my law enforcement career were dashed by a certain sword-wielding redhead who shall remain nameless-
Kain Blueriver: Hey!
Millie Nocturne: -I joined this crew of troubleshooters and decided to become the best troubleshooter in the universe and write a bestselling novel based on my adventures!
Canal: What are you two dawdling around here for? We've got a job to do, money to collect, and new weapons to buy! Honestly, I don't know why I let you humans live inside me! Engaging engines now…
Kain and Millie: Bye! (Communication ends.)
Kiyone: You two know each other?
Mihoshi: (Smiles widely and nods.) Yep! She's my cousin!
Washu: As interesting as this is-
Katsuhito: Hey Washu, what's that? (Points at something on the radar.)
Washu: (Looks at a console.) That? Oh, that's a-
Kagato: -Leviathon being pursued by a Peacekeeper Command Carrier. On an interesting sidenote, there appears to be a Leviathon gunship in the near proximity as well. I was unaware that such a ship existed. Interesting…
Washu: Aarrgh! Will I never finish a-
Kagato: We're being hailed yet again. Putting on screen…
Captain Harlock: Hi.
Aeka: I wonder what's with all these crossovers? Oh, if only there was some knowledgeable entity to tell us! (Looks pointedly at Tsunami.)
Tsunami: What? Just because I'm the goddess of Jurai you expect me to know everything?
Aeka: Well, yes. Goddesses typically do.
Captain James T. Kirk: (Beams aboard.) What strange…alien ship am…I on…now? Natives appear…to be in a state of…agitation. Must…get back to…Enterprise!
Tenchi: (Sighs.) Let's just skip to the next scene before this one becomes incomprehensible.
Washu: You're too late, Ten-
Mihoshi: Hey look, it's Evil Emperor Zurg's ship!
Washu: Why am I always being interrupted whenever I-
Ryo-ohki: Miya miya!