Title: Tenchi Muyo - Tokimi Strikes!
Author: Rowan Seven
Teaser: Lady Tokimi sets her diabolical plans in motion! Will Washu regain her memories? Will Tenchi grow a spine? Can Tsunami bring herself to stop watching soap operas long enough to help? Can Kagato be a good guy? Will the universe be saved? All this and the identity of Tokimi's avatar, the mysterious 'Z', revealed!
Disclaimer: Tenchi Muyo belongs to Pioneer and AIC. Other characters belong to their respective creators. I am not making any money off of this story so please don't sue.
Notes: This story was inspired by snippets that have been released about the 3rd OAV series.
A few minutes later…
Tsunami: Now that I've completely rejuvenated all of you and repaired Mihoshi's clothes, we can proceed. Come, let us defeat my sister and save the universe!
Kagato: But what should we do about him? (Kicks Ryouga's unconscious form for emphasis.)
Washu: Let's just leave him there. I doubt he'll be recovering anytime soon, and my scientific genius tells me that the author is in a rush to finish this story so he can work on his other writing project.
Tenchi: Ryoko, here I come! (Charges forward.)
Aeka: Tenchi, wait for me! (Runs after him.)
Mihoshi: I'll help too! (Chases after them, dragging Kiyone along behind her.)
Kiyone: (Grumbles.) Why me?
Katsuhito: Ah, the impetuousness of youth. (Follows at a more leisurely pace.)
Kagato: It would appear that if we stay here we risk being written out of the story.
Washu: You say that as if it were a bad thing.
Kagato: True, but the more lines I have the better my chances are of impressing another, more talented writer with my character and having him or her write an incredible and insightful story about me.
Washu: Hoping for another BGlanders, Kagato?
Kagato: To be completely honest, yes.
Tsunami: And in the off chance that BGlanders is reading this tale, Rowan Seven encourages you to finish the terrific story The Villain's Crusade. (Squints her eyes as she reads off a cue card.) That…story is…absolutely marvelous with…brilliant characterizations and one of the most…original and intriguing plots I've ever…come across. Please…finish it.
Washu: Now that the author's blatant plea is done with, this story can proceed to the next scene. Forward to Lady Tokimi's Inner Sanctuary!
At Lady Tokimi's Inner Sanctuary…
Tokimi: (Grinning.) -and then she duplicated the polymatrix and completely reprogrammed the main personality to simulate the etriganelios eel!
Ryoko: (Laughing.) She didn't!
Tokimi: Honestly, she did! But that doesn't compare in the least to the one time all three of us sisters visited the millennial gathering of immortal and cosmic beings. Why, between Tsunami's preaching peace and love while she was still in her hippie phase and Washu trying to perform experiments on more than half the entities there I'm surprised that any of us were allowed to come back the next millennium!
Ryoko: (Holding her sides from laughing so hard.) Oh, please go on, and please tell me that you've got pictures! I'll finally have something to use against Washu the next time she threatens me with that tape.
Tokimi: As a matter of fact, I-
Tenchi: (Bursts in.) Ryoko, are you all right? I've come here to rescue you…(Trails off as he takes in the scene and Ryoko's very undistressed state.)
Aeka: (Charges in.) Tenchi, is everything all ri- (Collides with Tenchi's back.)
Mihoshi: (Rushes in.) Lady Tokimi, you have the right to remain silent! Anything you say or do can be- (Collides with Aeka.)
Kiyone: Mihoshi, let go- (Collides with Mihoshi.)
Kagato: (Enters in a hurry.) Tokimi, I shall not allow you to- (Collides with Kiyone.)
Washu: (Runs in.) Wait for me! The show can't start without the greatest scientific genius in the- (Collides with Kagato.)
Tsunami: (Runs in wearing a worried look.) What's the matter? Are we too- (Trips over Washu. They all fall down in one great pile of tangled limbs.)
Tokimi and Ryoko: (Sweatdrop.)
Katsuhito: (Enters at a nonchalant and casual pace. Looks at his fallen allies. Sighs.) What have I told you all about looking before you leap? Have you learned nothing from staying in the presence of a venerable elder?
Tenchi: (Muffled by the bodies on top of him.) Sorry Grandpa, but I was caught off guard.
Katsuhito: (Sighs.) Tenchi, when we get home I'm increasing our normal sparring time to three hours.
Tenchi: (Whines.) But Grandpa, I still have school!
Katsuhito: Silence boy! As the Prince of Jurai you have more important concerns to worry about right now. The evil and malicious Lady Tokimi stands before you, still trapped outside of the universe! If we don't stop the rites she'll soon be free, and you'll have to fight a cosmic entity herself.
Tokimi: Oh yeah, that's right! I almost forgot about that! (Gloating.) Greetings, Tsunami. I see you've had a bit of a fall, both literally and metaphorically speaking. Your union with this Sasami has weakened you to the extent that you'll be easy pickings once I achieve my freedom. Soon this universe will be mine, and there's nothing you can do about it! Nothing! Mwhahahaha!!!
Tsunami: (Untangles herself and stands up.) Oh yeah? Well, we'll see about that!
Tokimi: (Blows her raspberry.) Oh please, just what do you think you can accomplish now? The rites D3 is performing will be finished in less than 15 seconds and-
D3: (Appears.) Actually, my lady, I still require another 5 minutes.
Tokimi: Okay, 5 minutes, and then…Uh oh.
Tsunami: (Smiles sweetly.) You appear to have made a miscalculation, sister. With your last servant occupied with performing the ceremonial rites, there is no one left to prevent my chosen from interrupting the ceremony. This universe is still mine! Mwhahaha- (Notices the odd looks she's getting from her friends.) -, er…I mean this universe is still outside of your evil grasp! Light and order shall triumph over your darkness and chaos! Haha!
Tokimi: (Frowns for a moment, but then slowly smiles wickedly.) Not quite yet, _dear_ sister. I still have one last card to play! (To Ryoko.) Terribly sorry about this, Ryoko dear, but desperate times call for desperate measures. I'll make it up to you when I'm free. (Concentrates.)
Ryoko: What do you mean…(Eyes turn lime green. A monstrous and inhuman smile graces her beautiful face as her head slowly turns to face Tenchi and her friends.)
Kagato: (Untangles himself from the pile of bodies as the others do the same. Shocked.) How…I thought that I was the only one who could…copycat!
Tokimi: (Mockingly.) Sticks and stones may break my ethereal bones, but names will never hurt me! Ryoko, attack!
Ryoko: Grrr…(Attacks Tenchi with her summoned energy sword.)
Tenchi: (Desperately blocks Ryoko's attacks.) Grandpa, what should I do? I don't want to hurt her!
Katsuhito: Why do you always ask me for help?
Tenchi: (Barely avoids having his head skewered off.) Because you're my grandfather and a knowledgeable old man!
Katsuhito: (Frowns.) …Tenchi, about that last part…(Drops his old man disguise. Now he looks like a healthy young man in his late twenties.)
All: (Dramatic gasp.)
Aeka: You b*stard! (Slaps Yosho, formerly known as Katsuhito, across the face.) You lied to me!
Yosho: (Rubs his jaw.) I assure you, I had a good reason.
Aeka: (Angrily.) And it was?
Yosho: Er…(Points at Tsunami.) She told me to do it!
Tsunami: Hey! Don't bring me into this! I'm your goddess! You're not supposed to implicate me like-
Aeka: (Faces Tsunami with Juraian aura blazing in anger, forehead veins throbbing, and eyes filled with rage.) YOU!!!
Tsunami: (Worried.) Eheh, now sister, you have every right to be angry with me, but can't we talk this over like two civilized people?
Aeka: (Heads toward Tsunami with murderous intent.) NO! YOU RUINED MY CHILDHOOD DREAMS! AAARRGGHH!!! (Attacks Tsunami.)
Tsunami: Owowowowowowowow!!! (The two become lost in a cloud of dust of their own creation.)
Mihoshi: Er, Kiyone, shouldn't we do something? Fighting is bad!
Kiyone: The Jurai Nobility has always claimed to be above the law. I think it would be wise of us to acknowledge that claim just this once. After all, who in their right mind would want to get between a vengeful princess and a goddess?
Tokimi: Mwhahaha! How amusing! I always did warn her that interfering in other people's lives like she does would cost her one day. Now Ryoko, continue your attack!
Ryoko: (Resumes attacking Tenchi.)
Tenchi: (Continues blocking.) Well, now that I know my grandfather isn't an old man I can't expect him to fulfill the sage's role any longer. Hey Kagato, you're over 5,000 years old! What should I do?
Kagato: What is age when compared to the mysteries and wonders of the universe? Is not age but a number while the unexplained phenomena of the cosmos are an intangible riddle? What is-
Washu: Enough already Kagato! Just answer Tenchi's relatively simple question! Oh, and Yosho, after this crisis is done would you stop by my lab? I have a few 'experiments' I'd like to run with your help. Mwhahaha.
Yosho: (Nervously.) Sure, as long as I'm still alive.
Kagato: (Sighs.) Now that I've been rudely interrupted, I might was well comply. Tenchi, Ryoko's not herself right now. I, better than anyone else, know this. Only by severing the jewel from her wrist can you free her from Tokimi's thrall.
Tenchi: Oh yeah! How could I have forgotten that? I had to do the same thing the first time we fought! Ryoko, I'm sorry but I must do this! (Cuts off her wrist with the jewel attached.)
Ryoko: Grr…(Eyes return to their normal golden color.) Ten-Tenchi? (Hugs him.) Oh Tenchi, I'm so sorry! I never wanted to hurt you. I'm sorry…(Cries and regenerates her hand.)
Tenchi: (Hugs her back.) It's okay Ryoko. I forgive you. You weren't yourself. I'm just happy that you're now safe and sound and in my arms. I love you Ryoko, and I never want to let you go.
Ryoko: Oh Tenchi…
Tenchi: Ryoko… (They kiss.)
All: Awwwwwwwww…
D3: (Appears and interrupts the romantic moment.) My lady, the ceremony is done. (Disappears.)
Tokimi: (The air crackles with cosmic energy as gale force winds stir up and the entire temple begins to shake.) Mwhahaha! At long last I'm free! Freeeeeeeeee! Mwhahaha!!!
Kiyone: Darn! We spent so much time dealing with Ryoko and fighting amongst ourselves that Lady Tokimi had enough time to free herself. (Sadly.) There goes my promotion…
Mihoshi: Cheer up Kiyone! I'm certain that in a universe of chaos and strife there will be a need for law enforcement! We'll be partners forever!
Kiyone: (Wails.)
Aeka: (Steps away from Tsunami.) I…apologize. In light of recent events it would appear that I acted rashly. I'm sorry. It's just that when I found out that you were the one who hid my childhood love and betrothed from me for so long I became so…angry.
Tsunami: (Bruised but smiling.) I forgive you sister. If our positions were reversed I might've acted in a similar manner myself. Besides, odds are we won't be in this plane of existence for much longer than 5 minutes anyway, and I don't want to spend the rest of those few minutes with you angry with me. (They hug.)
Kagato: …Anything the author wants me to say at this point would probably be construed as being out of character. Still, if the end has arrived I do not want to go without a few last words. Washu, Tenchi, Ryoko, I just want to let you three know that if I could do everything again…I would! Except this time I wouldn't let Tenchi cut me in half when I'm just about to capture Tsunami! Mwhahahaha!
Washu: (Blinks.) O-kay. I was going to say something about how you were the best lab assistant I ever had and compliment your dedication to science but just for that I'm going to hold my tongue! As a matter of fact, I think I'll insult you as well! Yakage was by far the better lab assistant and student! Yume accomplished more in 1,000 years than you did in 5,000! Your contributions to science are comparable to the discoveries of the mad wombago priests of the Shining Silver Berry order on Platimus IX!
Kagato: (Sarcastically.) I am _so_ hurt. And for your information the wombago acolyte Nidnails was the first to discover and pioneer the Law of Cosmic Casualty and theorized the existence of-
Washu: Bah! Like that was important! The Law of Cosmic Casualty was an insignificant discover when compared to Kokiran's Laws and-
Kagato: Once again you have fallen prey to the same delusions and misconceptions that plague modern day science. The Law of Cosmic Casualty is revolutionary and a big step forward in sub-sub-atomic n-dimensional theory! Why just- (They continue debating.)
Yosho: …Mother, father, I know you can't hear me now but…I just want to say that I'm sorry. I am not the person you wanted me to be. If I were given a chance to start my life over again I cannot say if I would change things, but the rift between us is something which I truly regret causing. I love the both of you very much. Good…bye.
Funaho: I love you too Yosho.
Yosho: Aaah! (Turns around and sees Misaki, Funaho, and Azusa.) (Nervously.) Wh-what are you three doing here?
Azusa: We got tired of flying around the galaxy in a panic and decided that all of us wanted more dialogue. So here we are. Nice temple, this Lady Tokimi has. If we all weren't about to die in a few minutes I'd ask her who her interior decorator was.
Misaki: Aeka! Sasami possessed by Tsunami! My daughters! I missed you so much! (Hugs them, almost choking them in the process.)
Tenchi: Ryoko…I…
Ryoko: I know. I love you too. (They hold each other.)
Tenchi: I'm sorry I took so long to confess my feelings. Had I said something earlier we'd have more than these few last minutes together.
Ryoko: I don't care. I've waited over a decade for this moment. Even if I should die in the next second, I'll be happy just so long as I'm in your arms. (They kiss again.) Of course, I'm not about to die without putting up a fight. (Summons her energy sword. Behind her Tenchi summons his light hawk wings and sword.) Let's do this.
Tokimi: (Her image explodes, illuminating the room with brilliant holy light. Her maniacal laughter does a neat echoing effect. Eventually the light fades and as everyone opens their eyes again they see Tokimi in her complete humanoid form, talons and 10 light hawk wings included.) I am now free, and it is time that I retake what is rightfully and unrightfully mine. First though, I shall dispense with the vengeance. Tsunami, watch as I destroy your friends before your eyes! Mwhahaha-ow, my thousands of years of laughing seem to have finally caught up with me. Drat. Fortunately I have prepared for this eventuality. (Takes out a tape recorder and hits the play button.)
Tokimi's Tape Recorder: (With Tokimi's voice.) Mwhahahahahahaha!!!
Tokimi: (Smiles and hits the stop button.) I suggest you all pray now. (Her light hawk wings power up and begin emitting needle-like discharges of power.) (Hits the tape recorder's play button again.)
Tokimi's Tape Recorder: Mwhahahahaha!!!
Aeka: (Needles penetrate her forcefield.) Oh, she got me! (Collapses theatrically.)
Misaki: (Needles hit her.) Aeka! (Falls down.)
Funaho: (Takes out a pair of chopsticks and skillfully deflects each and every needle.) You'll need to do better than that!
Tokimi: (Yells over her maniacal laughter recording.) OKAY! (Her light hawk wings are now shooting bursts of energy the thickness of redwood trees.)
Funaho: (Eyes widen.) That'll do. (Gets hit by an energy blast and collapses.)
Azusa: Funaho! Misaki! NOOO! (Gets hit by a blast.) Why am I always knocked unconscious in this story? Oh well, at least I'm shown as a decent father in this fanfiction… (Collapses.)
Mihoshi: Kiyone, I'm scared- (Gets hit by an energy blast and collapses.)
Kiyone: Mihoshi? (Lightly shakes her. She doesn't stir.) (Kiyone smiles madly.) Thank you!!! Thank you so much! (Gets hit by an energy blast.) I can see the light and it's Mihoshi free! Yay! (Falls down.)
Yosho: Maniacal laughter…so chilling…it's paralyzing! Can hardly…move…and am now…Shatnering…feel a dramatic speech coming…(Gets hit by an energy blast before he can make a dramatic speech.) Darn…(Collapses.)
Ryoko: Tenchi, look out! (Jumps in front of him.)
Tenchi: Ryoko, nooooooo- (Energy blast hits.)
BOOM!!!
Tenchi: (There is a convenient cloud of dust in front of him.) (Worried.) Ryoko?
Ryoko: (Cloud of dust clears. Ryoko has a horrified expression on her face.) D-dad?
Kagato: (In front of Ryoko and with a gaping hole in his chest. He jumped in front of her right before the blast hit and took the full force of it himself.) Daughter? (Puts a hand on what remains of his chest and slowly holds it up where he can see it. It's covered with green blood. He looks at it with disbelief.) My, how…unexpectedly noble of me. (Lacking feeling.) Ryoko, I love you. I'm so sorry for all the things I did to you. I'm proud of you, my little girl. Please, live and be happy. Remember me. (More seriously.) I'd just like to remark how out of character this death scene is. It's an obvious sign of a typical flair for the dramatic, a total disregard for established behavioral patterns of mine, and a poor attempt to inject some seriousness and sadness into this story. As a matter of fact- (Dies.)
Washu: How come Kagato is the only one to have died from these energy blasts when everyone else was merely knocked unconscious? It doesn't make scientific sense! Why was that-
Tsunami: Hush, sister. I do believe that Ryoko's big scene is coming up next. As for your question, there's no need to go around pointing out inconsistencies in a story already laden with them. The death of someone close to Ryoko was needed, the options were limited to you, Kagato, and Tenchi, Kagato was chosen, and that last energy blast just happened to be stronger than the previous ones for unknown reasons. Stop questioning the story!
Ryoko: (Stunned.) You're…really dead, father. (Cheers before remembering that she's supposed to be sad.) Oh daddy, I'm sorry. Tokimi will pay for what she's done to you. (To the universe in general.) Do you hear me? She'll pay!!! (Glows with cosmic power. The temple begins to shake again. Her two mystical gems on Tenchi's sword detach themselves and reattach onto her wrists. Winds pick up and everyone backs away. Energy crackles throughout the construct.)
Tokimi's Tape Recorder: Mwhahaha- (Is destroyed by a passing bolt of energy.)
Tokimi: Uh oh. I'm in trouble…
Ryoko: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA- (Her last gem, the one that was cut off earlier, floats up from the ground and attaches itself to her neck. 10 light hawk wings materialize and surround her. An otherworldly and sadly knowledgeable expression appears on her face. Slowly the charged atmosphere dissipates. When the ascension is over Ryoko calmly and silently turns to face Tokimi.)
Tokimi: Oh dear, I probably could've avoided this had I actually learned from the mistakes of others, but no! I just had to go and murder someone precious to the hero who could harness power to rival mine if properly motivated. (Slams her head against a summoned wall.) What _was_ I thinking?
Tenchi: (Stunned.) Ryoko…you're so…beautiful.
Washu: Mwhahaha! (Pumps her left arm in pride.) I did it! My greatest creation has finally realized her true power! I have created a new goddess! There's no way Yume can top that. I truly am the greatest scientific genius in the universe now!
WashuA: Hurray for Washu!
WashuB: Congratulations Washu!
Washu A & B: You're the greatest in the whole universe!
Tsunami: (Smiles.) In the darkest hour, hope springs eternal. Your plans will never come to fruition now, sister, and soon you'll be banished back outside the universe again. Ryoko, end this now.
Ryoko: (Smiles beatifically.) I…understand…everything…now. (Faces Tokimi and begins to glow.)
Tokimi: (Frightened.) Now now Ryoko, let's not be hasty. You know I was never really going to hurt you, just your friends and family! Er, that really didn't sound the way I hoped it would.
Ryoko: (Suddenly turns around and with great speed grabs Tsunami.)
Tsunami: (Surprised.) Hey! What are you doing, Ryoko?!! I'm not the villain here. She is! (Points at Tokimi. Ryoko ignores her pleas.) Washu, Tenchi, somebody, help me!!!
Tokimi: (Confused.) I'm…not her target? (Cheers.) Go Ryoko! Way to wipe that self-righteous smirk off her face!
Tenchi: (Steps in front of Ryoko, his sword raised and a torn look on his face.) Ryoko, what are you doing?
Ryoko: (Smiles mysteriously. Points of light that might be stars seem to gleam in the depths her eyes.) Trust me, my love.
Tenchi: …(Remains undecided for a moment. Looking at Ryoko, though, he finally makes up his mind. He lowers his sword and steps aside.)
Tsunami: (Irate.) Tenchi, how could you? I'm your goddess, and if not for my subtle manipulations you never would've been born! Help me!
Ryoko: (Still smiling.) Thank you. (Advances towards Tokimi, dragging Tsunami behind her.)
Tokimi: Er, niece, I know I'll be the third person to ask you this, but what are you doing? Are you helping me or fighting me?
Ryoko: (Smiles mysteriously.) You'll see. (Throws Tsunami at Tokimi.)
Tsunami: (Flies through the air.) Aaaaaahhhhh-(Collides with Tokimi.)
BAM!
Tsunami and Tokimi: (Both are now sitting on the floor, rubbing their foreheads.) Oww!
Ryoko: (Wags her left index finger at them. For just a moment it seems as if sparks of energy leap from it to both fallen sisters.) Get along. (Turns around and walks to Tenchi, her eyes and demeanor returning to the mortal Ryoko.)
Tokimi: (Blinks.) Get along? With her? Never! (Stands up.)
Tsunami: (Also stands up.) I agree! I could never get along with that insufferable, bitter, rude, crude, and offensive witch!
Tokimi: (Turns to face Tsunami, anger on her face.) How dare you! You little…wench! I hope the lumberjacks of planet Bunyonite chop you down!
Tsunami: Grrrr…well, I hope the appropriately named Make-Goddesses-Our-Slaves Cult finds you!
Tokimi: That would almost be preferable to seeing your ugly face again for an eternity!
Tsunami: My face isn't ugly!
Tokimi: Oh yes it is, and it's ancient too! I see a gray hairs! Haha!
Tsunami: (Screeches.) I DO NOT HAVE GRAY HAIR!
Tokimi: (Reaches over and pulls one out.) (Haughtily.) Oh really?
Tsunami: Aaarrgghh!!! (Slugs Tokimi.)
Tokimi and Tsunami: Owww!!! (Both press their right hands against their right cheeks.)
Tokimi: (Eyes narrow. Slugs Tsunami.)
Tsunami and Tokimi: Owww!!! (Both press their left hands against their left cheeks.)
Washu: Interesting. They appear to be linked on some mental pathway.
Ryoko: One's pain is now the other's pain, and vice-versa.
Tokimi: …
Tsunami: …
Tokimi and Tsunami: Unfair! (They both look at each other again, seemingly displeased that they acted and spoke in unison.)
Tenchi: (Worried.) But what about Sasami?
Ryoko: She'll be fine until Tsunami permanently fuses with her.
Washu: Well, this is certainly an anticlimactic ending. Where's the near destruction of the universe? The collapse of the space/time continuum? The enormous explosion? The manifestation of love?
Tenchi: Actually, judging by the way everything's shaking now I'd hazard a guess and say the big explosion will occur in two minutes. As for the manifestation of love, Ryoko…will you marry me? (Gets down on one knee and presents her with a wedding ring he has on him just for the sake of this story.)
Ryoko: (Eyes dazzle. As an atmosphere effect, cherry blossoms begin to fall.) Oh Tenchi…yes, a thousand times yes! (They kiss yet again.)
Washu: (Mutters.) Figures. Now that this story has had the predictable Tenchi/Ryoko get together plot after they've saved the universe and defeated the bad guys the author might as well end this now. Ryo-ohki, come to me!
Ryo-ohki: (Crashes through the temple and within a few seconds is hovering right in front of them.) Miya!!! (Beams everyone except Tokimi and Tsunami aboard and leaves.)
D3: (Appears.) This temple will self-destruct in approximately 10 seconds. Have a nice day. (Disappears.)
Tokimi: (Stares at Tsunami.)…
Tsunami: (Stares at Tokimi.)…
Tokimi: …Sister, this is all your fault!
Tsunami: Is not!
Tokimi: Is too!
Tsunami: Not!
Tokimi: Too!
Tsunami: No-
(Temple blows up.) BOOM!!!