LITTLE VISIT 7: SUNDAY EVENING
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Rory felt unsteady in Jess's arms, as though she were about to fall down. He was looking at her with such intensity, his ravished lips slightly parted, his eyes emitting a gleam of amazement.
And then Rory realized what she'd done.
"I'm sorry," she murmured sheepishly, slowly pulling herself out of his arms. Jess let her go; he was apparently a little dazed - and no doubt embarrassed by her inappropriate behaviour. Rory was instantaneously regretful. It's one thing to desire Jess Mariano, she thought, quite another to actually inflict those desires upon him. What was I thinking?
Rory looked down at the book in her hand, seeing it as the implement of her destruction, feeling it burn into her skin. She tried to remember the feeling she'd had only moments before, the excitement when she'd realized how compatible they were. Now she just felt overexposed and embarrassed. Unthinkingly, she'd reverted back to her old girlish impulsiveness and totally screwed up.
Jess had kissed her that morning, yes. But he'd only done it to get a rise out of her. He was a trickster. He enjoyed putting challenges out into the universe and seeing what kind of reactions came back to him. And now her overly emotional response had bounced back at him, landing clearly over the line.
So he held your hand. Big deal, she thought, her blush a testament to her mortification. It doesn't mean he feels the same way. "I'm sorry," she repeated.
"Don't be," he replied, forcing her to meet his gaze once again. Rory couldn't read his expression very well. In his eyes there was amusement, certainly, but also something completely incomprehensible. And, although there was that unexplained element to his expression, Rory was mostly preoccupied with the amusement she saw there. It frightened her, mocked her. It indicated the severity of her actions.
"Well, I am though. I mean, we're friends," she said seriously. "The last thing I want is for everything to get all weird."
"You think kissing me will make everything weird?" came his gentle reply.
"I hope it doesn't. I hope we can still be friends."
He cleared his throat. "Just friends?" he advocated, igniting fear in her heart. Clearly, he wanted to keep things as they were, or… as they had been. After all, one day, a long time ago, Jess had ceased his flirtations, and their relationship had become strictly platonic. Since then, she'd received nothing from Jess to indicate otherwise. That morning's kiss and the handholding? She'd merely placed too much emphasis on those incidents.
"Well, yeah," she replied too quickly. It wasn't the way she felt, but she knew it was the response he wanted to hear. In actuality, Rory thought maybe she loved Jess. But she valued his friendship more. It broke her heart to think that she might have jeopardized everything in a moment of weakness.
Jess rolled his eyes, in effect letting her know that, although she wasn't yet totally off the hook, things would soon be back on track between them. "Well yeah, Rory, we're still friends."
"Good."
"Good."
"Good," she repeated, more to convince herself than anything.
Jess rolled his eyes again, his lips tugging into some semblance of a wry smile. "You're crazy, you know that?"
"Oh, I so know that." She understood his comment completely; why had she kissed him when it was obviously the wrong thing to do? She was crazy. That was the only explanation.
He placed a hand on her shoulder and, shaking his head, he gently guided her down the aisle. "Come on. Let's keep browsing."
In no time, Jess had returned to his natural state of teasing her as the two of them discussed the safe topic of the book barn. His eyes twinkled as he ribbed her for her appreciation of romance novels and his smile grew soft as Rory described a book that he might like. A short span of time progressed and, with it, Rory began feeling more and more comfortable. Perhaps she hadn't ruined their friendship after all.
When, a little while later, Jess had also found a book that he wanted, the two paid and left the store. She checked her watch as they stepped out into the crisp air. "Wow, it's five o'clock, no wonder I'm so hungry."
"Five o'clock? Is that why you're so hungry? I thought it was my good looks and irresistible charm." Embarrassed again, Rory raised an eyebrow at his smirking gaze. "Oh… You meant for food," he continued in a suggestive tone.
He's just teasing me, she thought self-consciously, shaking her head. When she smacked him in the ribs, it was meant in good humour, but still, she hoped he wouldn't mention the kiss again. "Yes. I meant food."
At least, at that particular moment she'd meant food; any other hungers she may have been feeling were to be flogged and burned and buried at all costs. She tried valiantly to ignore the fact that Jess's kiss had been everything she could have hoped for.
"What say we find ourselves an Italian restaurant?" she asked, partly to satiate her starvation, and partly to steer the conversation in a purely nutritional direction.
"You eat out too much," he muttered as he walked round to the other side of her car.
"I don't cook," she said. Her mother, having been bred for a life of chefs and attendants, had never learned; and in the end, she'd had none of those skills to pass down to Rory.
When Rory had seated herself behind the steering wheel and pulled her seatbelt snug, Jess suggested, "How about we go get some groceries and I make us something to eat?"
"You cook?" she erupted in disbelief. Wide-eyed, she silently evaluated him. True, Jess broke all sorts of "hooligan" stereotypes - and since Rory had gotten to know him, she'd learned never to underestimate him - but the image of Jess slaving over a stove simply refused to materialize in her brain.
"Hello. I work in a diner."
"Hi. As a waiter."
"Well I've picked up a few things."
"OK," she agreed with a smile, eternally grateful for the change in subject. Rory turned the engine over and, before backing away from the Book Barn, demanded, "Do up your seatbelt."
"Yes, Ma," he conceded with a simpering grin. Soon they were driving through the country, heading for a New Haven grocery.
After shopping, they carried heavy bags down the hall to her apartment. "Geez, did we ever get a lot of groceries," she said. "Too much." She'd let Jess run wild in the store and hadn't realized the shear volume of it all until they'd hit the checkout. By that time, Jess was thwarting all her attempts to return items.
"Are you kidding me? I've seen how bare your cupboards are. Believe me, everything we got today was a necessity."
"Well the Maxwell House was, anyway."
He smirked. "I work in the food-service industry, remember? It's my job to keep you well fed."
"This'll keep me fed all month." Inside the apartment, Rory dropped her bags on the floor while Jess hoisted his onto the counter. "So, is there anything you want me to do?" she asked.
Jess looked around briefly. "No. I think I've got it under control. Where do you keep your pots and pans? Geez, you do have pots and pans, right?"
Rory laughed. "They're under the oven, next to the shoes."
Shooting her a quizzical look, complete with raised eyebrow, Jess whirled around in the kitchen to open up the oven's drawer. "Oh my God," he stated with dry amazement. "You really do have a pair of shoes in here."
Rory laughed. "Yeah, it's a little in-joke my mom and I share." Over the years, Lorelai's ever-growing collection of shoes had slowly overtaken all the closets, the cupboard above the fridge, and many other places in their Stars Hollow house meant for storage. A couple of shoes in the oven drawer had been the next logical step. Besides, it gave their otherwise useless oven something to do.
The glittery, strappy sandals in Rory's own oven drawer had been Lorelai's housewarming gift, to keep Rory from getting too homesick.
"OK." Jess shook his head and shrugged. "You have a cutting board?"
"No."
"I'll use a plate. You go." Rory hesitated for a moment, standing on the precipice of her kitchen. She hated to put him to work in her own apartment, but on the other hand, she definitely could not cook. "Go. Read your book. I'll be fine," Jess urged warmly.
Rory shrugged and picked up her new book. Sitting down on the couch, she turned so she could face the kitchen, swinging her feet up on the cushion and leaning squarely against the armrest. Every few pages, she would pause to look up as Jess bustled about her tiny kitchenette, boiling water for their pasta, sautéing vegetables and grating cheese, setting store-bought Italian buns in the oven to warm them up.
She was impressed. It really did look like he knew what he was doing. As Rory turned back to her book again, she smirked – and almost laughed out loud - to think of Jess as a homemaker.
She only caught his eye once during his preparations; as he was setting the unused items in the fridge, she met his contented smile with one of her own. She then watched as he set about mixing a jar of heated pasta sauce with his sautéed vegetables and then draining the tortellini. He brought the pasta and a tossed salad into the living room.
Jess was standing by the table and setting his creations down. Rory meant to finish the chapter before closing the book - she only had a few paragraphs to go. However, an instant after her eyes returned to the book in her lap, Jess let out a yelp, "Ah shit! The buns!" She looked up again to watch him dash from the coffee table to the oven, grabbing her tea towel on the way. He flung open the oven and pulled the buns out. "Hot! Hot!" he cried, dropping the pan on the stovetop, as it burnt his fingers through the tea towel.
Rory stifled a laugh. OK. It had looked like he knew what he was doing. She held the open book in front of her mouth but she was sure her eyes, peering over at him, gave away her amusement.
Jess turned around to face her, leaning back slightly against the countertop with a self-deprecating look of regret. "It's ready," he said in chagrin. Rory attempted to conceal her laughter behind a coughing fit.
"They say 'you know it's ready when it sets off the fire alarm'," she teased, even though the buns couldn't be as bad as that.
"Funny." Jess disparaged as he dumped the buns into a bowl and brought the rest of the food to the coffee table.
Giggling silently, Rory retrieved plates and cutlery and returned to the living room. The two sat cross-legged on the floor on either side of the coffee table. "OK," he began bashfully, attempting to make light of the event, "So the buns are a little… crispy… on the outside. They should be fine once you cut them open."
"That's OK. They're supposed to be crusty buns," she commiserated with amusement. Rory selected one for herself. It looked fine - not charred or anything - but it was perhaps a little hard to the touch.
"Shit," he said, letting his guard down and laughing now, "I was doing so well."
"You were," she agreed as she dished herself some tortellini and sprinkled cheese on top of it. "Believe me, Jess, everything else looks great."
Jess smiled and looked down at his own plate. When she'd finished fixing her plate, he began dishing his own. Rory watched him through her lashes as his smile faded and he grew serious. Finally he mumbled, "I guess I'd better put myself on the bus today."
The new serious tone of his voice and the manner with which he carried himself, affected her deeply. She'd been careful to keep the topics neutral that afternoon - trying to put him at ease - and she had almost managed to forget her impetuousness at the bookstore. But now, even despite her best efforts, she had never seen Jess look so shy. She hoped he wasn't in a rush to escape her. No matter what Jess said, the kiss had changed something between them.
"Oh. Uh yeah," she burst out. "It is Sunday. I have some homework to do yet this weekend."
"What do you have to do?"
Evaluating, Rory's eyes drifted to the pile of books she'd stacked on her computer desk two days ago, as she'd prepared for Jess's arrival. She'd put the books aside, thinking it only for an afternoon. And just like that, over 48 hours had flown by; she hadn't touched them since. "I have to prep my notes for an term paper on Charlemagne."
"Fun," he replied blandly.
"It's not so bad." It was an interesting topic to her. The only problem was, what with all that had gone on between her and Jess that weekend, Rory was sure there was no way she'd be able to concentrate on anything else.
Rory tried to think of something enthusiastic to say about the King of the Franks, but she was distracted by the way Jess pushed the food around his plate. He didn't appear dejected or unhappy, just deep in thought. The two fell into a short silence and Rory began to feel distinctly ill at ease.
"So it's-" he paused, clearing his throat, and started again. "It's interesting, the character Benedick of Padua."
Rory blinked at the abrupt change of subject. "Benedick of Padua? From Much Ado About Nothing?" she clarified.
"Yeah. Don't you think?"
"Uh-huh," Rory replied as she focussed on her salad, deep in thought about Shakespeare's character. Benedick was constantly performing for the benefit of others. His melodramatic and competitive insults were designed to keep him in the favour of his superiors, but his comments had also disrupted his friendship with Beatrice, the woman whom he'd grown to love by the end of the play.
Benedick was an interesting character, but Rory had already spent the greater part of the day worrying about the disruption of friendships - she didn't want to think about it any more. "Yeah. Benedick. Sworn bachelor. Master of witty hyperbole and inflated rhetoric," she dismissed as she went about chewing. Taking a bite of the tortellini for the first time, she exclaimed, "Oh Jess! This is really good."
"Uh, thanks," he said. "You can't go wrong with store-bought."
"The buns would tell me otherwise."
Jess smirked. "Sure. Throw that in my face. What do you think of the ending?"
"Of Much Ado About Nothing?"
"Yeah."
Rory studied Jess's face. What was his strange fascination with that play all of a sudden? she wondered. "Well to be honest, the public shaming of Hero kinda leaves a bitter taste in my mouth. I prefer some of the Bard's other plays." Rory took another bite and considered the possibilities. "Like The Comedy of Errors."
Jess rolled his eyes and sighed. "Oh please. Identical twins with the same name who have identical twin slaves also with the same name? It's so contrived."
"But entertaining, none the less."
"Yeah, I guess." Jess smirked. "By the way, I can see now that I'm gonna have to be more overt."
Rory looked up at Jess with curiosity. "What do you mean?"
"Nothing at all, Rory," he drawled.
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A/N:
I hope to have the next chapter up tomorrow or the next day. Hope you enjoyed this one. Thanks for reading. Please review.