A/N: Thank you, thank you for all the nice reviews! Anyway, Foghorn Leghorn finally appears, and he becomes very important to Lone Prince and Hurl in this chapter. Why? Just watch and see!
Balair (Sawnya's fanfic character, who resembles a red T-Rex who can vaporize and liquefy himself): Why in the hell am I not in this story?
Sawnya: Because this mainly stars actual DBZ characters this time, Balair. You have to go now; you're not supposed to be here."
Balair: I'll vaporize myself! I'll blow you up, if you don't put me in this story! (He then turns himself into a red cloud of gas and tries to enter Sawnya's lungs, but Sawnya turns on her vacuum cleaner, flips it up and sucks the Balair cloud into it.)
Balair: NO! Why? Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy? (He disappears into the vacuum cleaner bag.)
Sawnya (smiling sweetly, as she turns off the vacuum cleaner): Sorry, Balair, you're not invading this story. And oh, by the way, you'll might not want to read the last chapter of "Tayla of Astoria" that I just put up. That's chapter eighty-three, and I don't think that you will like that one."
Balair (stuck in the vacuum cleaner bag in his gas form): What do you mean? Do I die?"
Sawnya (still smiling): Oh, I can't say for sure, Balair, but I guarantee that you'll find that chapter electrifying, shall we say? Anwyay it's time to stop wasting our reader's time and let them read the story!
Sawnya turns to the readers and waves, as Balair tries to solidify himself to escape the vacuum cleaner...
Chapter Three: Out Of Luck, Out Of Options
Lone Prince was in the driver's seat of the Capsulebago, as it flew smoothly throughout the dark, starry realms of the universe. He gritted his teeth, as he listened to Hurl singing in the shower so loudly that Lone Prince couldn't watch his favorite program, "UFF (Universal Wrestling Federation) RAW" on the television set imbedded into the control panel of the ship. He loved this program because it was the only wrestling program that actually allowed their opponents to kill each other.
"That's it! Send him to the next dimension! Die, die, die, you weaklings!" Lone Prince cheered, just as Hurl began to sing louder than ever.
"That's it! I'm going to turn him into Saiyan ashes this time! Nappa-I mean Hurl, stop that singing!" Lone Prince stormed down to the restroom, where he could hear Hurl's loud singing booming throughout the ship. He banged on the door.
Hurl sang loudly, proudly, "I DON'T WANT ANYBODY ELSE! WHEN I THINK ABOUT YOU, I TOUCH MYSELF! OH, OH, I DON'T WANT ANYBODY ELSE, OH NO, OH NO…"
Oh no is right, Lone Prince thought angrily to himself. Whenever Hurl sings, he makes Buu The Butt sound like he has the voice of an angel!
Hurl came bursting out of the bathroom, dressed in an expensive white terry cloth robe that he and Lone Prince had once swiped from the fancy Warthog-Asteroid hotel. He was holding up the centerfold from Playsaiyan magazine and singing to it, as if the picture was a real woman. Joyously, he seized Lone Prince and continued singing, "When I think about you, I touch myself!"
"Touch this!" Lone Prince roared, as he slammed his fist into Hurl's stomach. Hurl choked and nearly spat out blood.
"S-Sorry, Prince!" Hurl stammered. "I got a little carried away!"
"A little! How do I know that you weren't thinking of touching me?"
Before Lone Prince could rave and rant any further, the car phone rang, and Hurl, wanting an excuse to escape his partner's wrath, ran away to answer it.
"Hello?" he asked quickly when he had picked up the phone.
"Hello. Is Lone Prince there?" a regal, masculine voice asked.
"Lone Prince, it's for you!" Hurl called, as Lone Prince strutted over to him to take the phone.
"Turn on the teleview," Lone Prince ordered Hurl, and Hurl did.
The recognizable face of King Briefs appeared on the screen. "Lone Prince, I need your help!"
Lone Prince smirked. "Really?"
"Yes! I've heard that you happen to be one of the greatest warriors in the universe, as well as one of the shortest! My, my, Lone Prince, haha, you seem to be even shorter in real life!"
"Stop mocking my height, old man! Tell me what you want and get on with it!"
"Umm…well, yes! My daughter's in danger! She's being attacked by Screwballs!"
"What do you expect me to do about it?" Lone Prince demanded to know.
Hurl nudged Lone Prince in his ribs. For once, Hurl was the one who thought faster than his normally smarter partner. "Prince," he whispered urgently, "if you save her, you can take her for your hostage in exchange for the Dragonspaceballs."
Lone Prince grinned then. He then whispered back to Hurl, "Or we can just demand the Dragonspaceballs in exchange for saving the royal woman."
"Even better idea, Prince."
"I'll give you anything!" King Briefs wailed. "Anything! My daughter just contacted me! I'll give anything for my daughter to be saved!"
"Anything?" Lone Prince asked, with a smirk.
"Anything!"
Lone Prince said smoothly, "I want to use the Dragonspaceballs in exchange for saving your daughter."
"The Dragonspaceballs…but…but…"
"We're losing you, Your Highness!" Hurl declared. "The static is getting bad. Can't hear you anymore!" He winked at Lone Prince, who winked back.
King Briefs cried anxiously, "All right, Dragonspaceballs then! You can use the Dragonspaceballs! Just save my daughter!"
"Deal made," Lone Prince said with his familiar smirk. "One princess for seven Dragonspaceballs! Not too bad of a trade!"
"What is she driving?" Hurl asked.
"An ivory and white Mercedes Benz 3001 Extremely Limited Edition, with cream leather interior, star roof, spoke hubcaps, space cruise control, with a license plate reading, "SPOILED BRAT". I paid sixty thousand spacezeni for it, all in cash; normally it would have cost me one hundred thousand spacezeni, but I got a great deal on it, thanks to my cousin, Prince Boxers and his wife, Princess Thong. They own the best car dealership in this part of the galaxy, and if you mention their spaceboard ad, they'll give you a great discount…"
"Yeah, yeah, yeah, who cares?" Lone Prince spat out. "Just tell us where she was last seen!"
"She just passed by planet Venus…Williams," King Briefs replied quickly.
"Good," Lone Prince told him. "We will find your daughter, I can assure you."
"Thank you!" King Briefs exclaimed breathlessly. "And if it's possible, do you think that you could save the car?"
Lone Prince wisely hung up the phone before he lost his temper. When he had calmed down, he turned to Hurl and shouted happily, "We're going to get our wishes granted, Hurl!"
"We'll be able to pay off Buu-Hoo and get somethin' for ourselves, Prince!" Hurl exclaimed joyously.
"Give me tail, Nappa-I mean, Hurl!" Lone Prince ordered triumphantly, and Hurl's tail grabbed Lone Prince's tail, and they literally shook tails vigorously.
"Hoo, hoo, hoo! Woo, woo, woo!" Hurl hooted.
"Finally! I haven't felt this great since McDonald's started allowing people to Galactic Size their meals!" Lone Prince declared happily.
Princess Bulma's last bit of luck had run out. Before she could set up her magnetic resister to resist the magnetic beam that Screwball 1000 aimed at her ship, it malfunctioned, and Bulma's car was caught up in the beam.
"Great!" Bulma wailed. "Even in the space age, nothing works! I'm suing Sawnya when this is over!"
Chichi Matrix sighed, "Sawnya has nothing to sue for except for…"
"I know! Her computer and her Beanie Baby collection!" Bulma grumbled. "I feel like we're moving backwards!"
Chichi Matrix looked out of the passenger-side window. "Honey, I've got bad news for you: we are moving backwards!"
Lone Prince and Hurl reached Princess Bulma's Mercedes-Benz much sooner than they expected. They were horrified to see that Princess Bulma's car had already been caught up in the laser beam.
Hurl paled when he saw the car being pulled towards Screwball 1000.
"Well, Prince, we've tried. Too late; they've got her caught in their magnetic beam; time to go back! I'll throw our ship in reverse, Prince, and we'll be away from here faster than you can say 'Dragonspaceballs'! Hey, want to pick up some 'Subatomicway' subs later, Prince! We just passed one on the way here; I'm starving!" Hurl reached for the reverse lever, but Lone Prince smacked his hand.
"No, we will not leave."
"But, Lone Prince, these are Screwballs we're talking about!"
"Hurl," Lone Prince said evenly. "Sawnya did not say that we are not Saiyans in this story, right?"
"R-Right, Prince."
"And Saiyans do not run from a fight, do they?"
"No-no, Prince."
"And what is one thing that Saiyans value most, Hurl, almost as much as a good fight?"
"H-Honor, Prince."
"Then our honor, which includes our word to King Briefs, tells us that we must stay and rescue the princess, right?"
"Y-Yes, Prince."
"Good. And there is another thing that you and I value very much right now, the main reason that we are doing this."
"What's this, Prince? Glory, fame, the chance of possibility sleeping with a royal princess?"
"No, you fool! Not for glory, not for fame, not for a quick lay! Dragonspaceballs, you idiot!"
"Prince, we're doing it for little golden balls. Is risking our lives to save some runaway princess worth it?"
"You fool! We're not doing this just for some little golden balls; we're doing it for SEVEN little golden balls! Seven golden Dragonspaceballs! Seven golden Dragonspaceballs that will grant our wishes! That will make us IMMORTAL, all-powerful, all mighty! Seven balls that will get us out of debt, and quadruple my chances with the women! To put it bluntly, Nappa-I mean, Hurl, I'm tired of being short! I want to be tall like you! I want women looking up to me, not me looking up to them! I want to be able to stare straight ahead at their chests, not up under them! I don't want to be mistaken for my dates' little brother anymore! I don't want to be offered the "Unhappy Meal" at McDonald's when I take a woman there, or offered the "Little Dipper" kiddie plates at restaurants on dates! I want to be tall and powerful! I want to be as tall as I am strong! Is that too much to ask?" Lone Prince wailed in despair.
Hurl held out his large hands in protest. "Take it easy, Prince. I didn't know it meant that much to you! Okay, we'll save the little royal lady, so we can become immortal, and you can have an edge with the ladies." Hurl comfortingly patted Lone Prince on the head, as if Lone Prince was a little boy. "It's going to be all right now, Lone Prince. Everything's going to be all right."
Lone Prince's despairing look hardened into his usual scowl. "Thank you for coming to your senses, Hurl, now's there just one last thing."
"What's that, Prince?"
"Don't ever pat my head again! What do you think I am? A dog?"
"S-Sorry, Prince!"
"Wha-I say, what is all the commotion in here? What's going on?"
Lone Prince and Hurl sighed when a tall red and white chicken entered the room, shaking his long red tail. They had picked him up from KFC, where he was about to be made into someone's "All You Can Eat For A Thousand Dollars" meal. They had saved his life from the cooks there in exchange for him becoming their personal servant, but so far, all the rooster had done was mooch off of their food, hog the television, and waste all of the hot water in shower. (Hurl had not been happy taking a cold shower earlier, and he had given the rooster a black eye before he had taken the actual shower.)
"What do you want, Foghorn Leghorn?" Lone Prince demanded to know.
"You, I say, you are out of food! The refriger-refrige, oh, never mind, the fridge, is out of food!"
"Well, we still have chicken at least," Hurl said meaningfully, looking directly at Foghorn. The loudmouthed chicken trembled under Hurl's hungry stare.
"Never mind him for now, Hurl," Lone Prince said authoritatively.
"Prince, we'll be spotted on their radar, shortly," Hurl told him.
"We have our cloaking device set up to prevent that, but we do need to send them a message, Hurl, a message that they will never forget. A visual one."
"When do we start firing our lasers at them, Prince?"
"Not that visual message, Hurl. Something a little more…innovative, something that will really tick Dark Horns off."
Hurl chuckled, as he dialed the phone and turned on the teleview. He and Lone Prince had managed to hack into the Mars-Bell phone system and gain Dark Horn's private telephone number. Hurl happily held up his middle finger, so that Dark Horns would see when he answered the phone. Lone Prince saw what Hurl was about to do and promptly hung up the phone before it rang any further.
"You idiot! Do you want to give us away so soon?" Lone Prince snapped.
"S-Sorry, Prince!" Hurl said quickly.
Lone Prince suddenly smirked. "However, your foolishness just gave me a clever idea. Do we still have that catapult that we bought at a discount?"
"Yes, Prince."
Lone Prince beckoned Hurl to bend down and listen to him, and Lone Prince whispered something into Hurl's ear, while casting meaningful glances back at Foghorn Leghorn, who was munching on a melted Milky Way Galaxy Bar that he had found wedged in Hurl's seat. Both Saiyans chuckled wickedly.
"I like this plan, already, Prince."
"Good," Lone Prince told him with a smirk. "Bring me some rope," he whispered. Hurl left to do so, and Lone Prince put his arm around Foghorn Leghorn in a friendly gesture.
"Foghorn, how would you like to become a hero?" Lone Prince asked smoothly. "You'll be remembered forever, for what you have been chosen to do. You'll go down in history for helping us save the princess."
"I-I get to help save a princess! This-this, I mean, this is just so great! Now I'll have something to brag to that stupid mutt when I get back to the farm. I say, that he never helped to save a princess! Sure, little man, I'll be happy to help!"
Lone Prince gnashed his teeth at being called a "little man", but he held his tongue. He needed the bird for this part of the mission to save Princess Bulma, so he had to be nice to the featherbrained fool until he had completed what he had to do.
Finally Hurl came back with the rope, and before Foghorn Leghorn could say a word, Lone Prince seized the rooster under his arms and pinned Foghorn's wings behind his back.
"Now," Lone Prince told Hurl happily, "comes the next part of my plan. Prepare the catapult, Hurl, and make sure that our friend is tied up nice and securely."
"With pleasure, Prince," Hurl said, as he tied the protesting Foghorn Leghorn up.
"Now I say, hey, what are you guys doing to me? Help, somebody! What are you guys going to do to me?" Foghorn cried out in vain.
"We're sending Dark Horns a nice message, and you happen to be our messenger," Lone Prince told him wickedly.
Hurl loaded the tied-up Foghorn into the catapult that was in the middle of the Capsulebago area. Lone Prince pressed a button to open the star roof, as the catapult slowly raised up, out of the ship and into the starry night.
"Now Hurl!" Lone Prince shouted when Foghorn was outside of the ship on the catapult. "Release the catapult!"
"Sure thing, Prince!" Hurl said happily, as he pulled the lever.
"HELP!" Foghorn Leghorn cried, as he was flipped into outer space towards Screwball 1000...
On Screwball 1000
..."She's ours now!" Dark Horns declared happily, with a sleepy, satiated look on his face. Something was moving beneath his cape, and Dark Horns cried out in pleasure before he could stop himself.
Porto Rico whispered to Captain Zarbon. "Captain, please don't tell me that he's-"
"Unfortunately, he is, Porto." Captain Zarbon cringed in disgust. "But look at it this way, at least in one-partner lovemaking, you don't need a condom."
"I think that you would, wouldn't you?" Porto asked. "To keep things from getting...messy?"
"Never mind, Porto," Captain Zarbon said quickly, not wanting to discuss Dark Horns's literal "one-on-one" lovemaking sessions any longer.
Suddenly they heard a loud cry for help, and Porto Rico and Captain Zarbon saw a red and white object with feathers flying through space towards Screwball 1000.
"What's that?" Porto Rico wanted to know, as the object came closer and closer until it crashed into the satellite radar on top of Screwball 1000 and knocked the satellite dish off, sending it into space.
The object, now identified as a rooster fell off of the radar and bounced off a wall, from where he eventually crashed into a window. Before Porto Rico and Captain Zarbon knew it, the rooster crashed through the window and right into Dark Horns's body.
"Activate emergency window!" Captain Zarbon ordered, and the emergency window was raised quickly before anyone suffocated.
"I say, well, I say, how did I get here?" Foghorn Leghorn asked, looking around the room. His chicken eyes bulged in horror. "Screwballs! Why me? Why? WHY!? I bet that Sawnya would have never done this to Tweety!"
"What the hell happened here, gentlemen?" Dark Horns wanted to know, unhappy because his "one-on-one" session had been rudely interrupted.
"Sire, I don't know how to put this, but…" Captain Zarbon's voice trailed off.
"Spit it out, Zarbon!"
"To put it bluntly, sire, it seems that someone has literally flipped us the bird!"
"Flipped us the bird? Flipped us the bird!" Dark Horns snapped, now privately zipping up his pants. He pulled out his clean hand from under his cape and pulled down his mask, so that it would disguise his voice. "Only one fool in the universe would dare to flip me the bird!" He changed his voice to become deeper, more threatening. "LONE PRINCE!"
He shook his clean fist at the window where Foghorn Leghorn had crashed through. "You'll pay for flipping me the bird, Lone Prince! Do you understand me? When I find you, I will-" Before Dark Horns could elaborate any further, he tripped over a camera cord, and he crashed through that same window and out into space.
"Oh no!" Kiwi wailed. "He'll die out there in space!"
"The bird survived," Captain Zarbon told him.
"That's only because Warner Bros. Company and PETA threatened to sue Sawnya if Foghorn Leghorn wound up dying in this movie," Porto Rico pointed out. "That was the condition on which they allowed Sawnya to use the bird. We can't even eat him, and that's too bad 'cause I really felt like chicken tonight."
"Never mind that now, Porto," Captain Zarbon told him. "Well, at least Lord Frieza-I mean Dark Horns can survive in space. They can't kill the main villain this early in the story."
"Yeah, that's true," Porto Rico agreed.
Lone Prince's Capsulebago pulled up right besides Princess Bulma's space-car, and then it moved above it. Lone Prince looked down from his window at Princess Bulma's car.
"Good," Lone Prince said happily. "I always like it when I'm on top."
"You're a missionary, aren't you?" Hurl asked, chuckling.
Lone Prince chuckled with him. "Missionary position is the only one for me! Hurl, go down there and retrieve the princess."
"With pleasure, Prince." And with that, Hurl opened the door (yes, he and Lone Prince and Princess Bulma and Chichi will be able to breathe in space in this story) and began to fold down the ladder to go down to Princess Bulma's space-car.
Balair (Sawnya's fanfic character, who resembles a red T-Rex who can vaporize and liquefy himself): Why in the hell am I not in this story?
Sawnya: Because this mainly stars actual DBZ characters this time, Balair. You have to go now; you're not supposed to be here."
Balair: I'll vaporize myself! I'll blow you up, if you don't put me in this story! (He then turns himself into a red cloud of gas and tries to enter Sawnya's lungs, but Sawnya turns on her vacuum cleaner, flips it up and sucks the Balair cloud into it.)
Balair: NO! Why? Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy? (He disappears into the vacuum cleaner bag.)
Sawnya (smiling sweetly, as she turns off the vacuum cleaner): Sorry, Balair, you're not invading this story. And oh, by the way, you'll might not want to read the last chapter of "Tayla of Astoria" that I just put up. That's chapter eighty-three, and I don't think that you will like that one."
Balair (stuck in the vacuum cleaner bag in his gas form): What do you mean? Do I die?"
Sawnya (still smiling): Oh, I can't say for sure, Balair, but I guarantee that you'll find that chapter electrifying, shall we say? Anwyay it's time to stop wasting our reader's time and let them read the story!
Sawnya turns to the readers and waves, as Balair tries to solidify himself to escape the vacuum cleaner...
Chapter Three: Out Of Luck, Out Of Options
Lone Prince was in the driver's seat of the Capsulebago, as it flew smoothly throughout the dark, starry realms of the universe. He gritted his teeth, as he listened to Hurl singing in the shower so loudly that Lone Prince couldn't watch his favorite program, "UFF (Universal Wrestling Federation) RAW" on the television set imbedded into the control panel of the ship. He loved this program because it was the only wrestling program that actually allowed their opponents to kill each other.
"That's it! Send him to the next dimension! Die, die, die, you weaklings!" Lone Prince cheered, just as Hurl began to sing louder than ever.
"That's it! I'm going to turn him into Saiyan ashes this time! Nappa-I mean Hurl, stop that singing!" Lone Prince stormed down to the restroom, where he could hear Hurl's loud singing booming throughout the ship. He banged on the door.
Hurl sang loudly, proudly, "I DON'T WANT ANYBODY ELSE! WHEN I THINK ABOUT YOU, I TOUCH MYSELF! OH, OH, I DON'T WANT ANYBODY ELSE, OH NO, OH NO…"
Oh no is right, Lone Prince thought angrily to himself. Whenever Hurl sings, he makes Buu The Butt sound like he has the voice of an angel!
Hurl came bursting out of the bathroom, dressed in an expensive white terry cloth robe that he and Lone Prince had once swiped from the fancy Warthog-Asteroid hotel. He was holding up the centerfold from Playsaiyan magazine and singing to it, as if the picture was a real woman. Joyously, he seized Lone Prince and continued singing, "When I think about you, I touch myself!"
"Touch this!" Lone Prince roared, as he slammed his fist into Hurl's stomach. Hurl choked and nearly spat out blood.
"S-Sorry, Prince!" Hurl stammered. "I got a little carried away!"
"A little! How do I know that you weren't thinking of touching me?"
Before Lone Prince could rave and rant any further, the car phone rang, and Hurl, wanting an excuse to escape his partner's wrath, ran away to answer it.
"Hello?" he asked quickly when he had picked up the phone.
"Hello. Is Lone Prince there?" a regal, masculine voice asked.
"Lone Prince, it's for you!" Hurl called, as Lone Prince strutted over to him to take the phone.
"Turn on the teleview," Lone Prince ordered Hurl, and Hurl did.
The recognizable face of King Briefs appeared on the screen. "Lone Prince, I need your help!"
Lone Prince smirked. "Really?"
"Yes! I've heard that you happen to be one of the greatest warriors in the universe, as well as one of the shortest! My, my, Lone Prince, haha, you seem to be even shorter in real life!"
"Stop mocking my height, old man! Tell me what you want and get on with it!"
"Umm…well, yes! My daughter's in danger! She's being attacked by Screwballs!"
"What do you expect me to do about it?" Lone Prince demanded to know.
Hurl nudged Lone Prince in his ribs. For once, Hurl was the one who thought faster than his normally smarter partner. "Prince," he whispered urgently, "if you save her, you can take her for your hostage in exchange for the Dragonspaceballs."
Lone Prince grinned then. He then whispered back to Hurl, "Or we can just demand the Dragonspaceballs in exchange for saving the royal woman."
"Even better idea, Prince."
"I'll give you anything!" King Briefs wailed. "Anything! My daughter just contacted me! I'll give anything for my daughter to be saved!"
"Anything?" Lone Prince asked, with a smirk.
"Anything!"
Lone Prince said smoothly, "I want to use the Dragonspaceballs in exchange for saving your daughter."
"The Dragonspaceballs…but…but…"
"We're losing you, Your Highness!" Hurl declared. "The static is getting bad. Can't hear you anymore!" He winked at Lone Prince, who winked back.
King Briefs cried anxiously, "All right, Dragonspaceballs then! You can use the Dragonspaceballs! Just save my daughter!"
"Deal made," Lone Prince said with his familiar smirk. "One princess for seven Dragonspaceballs! Not too bad of a trade!"
"What is she driving?" Hurl asked.
"An ivory and white Mercedes Benz 3001 Extremely Limited Edition, with cream leather interior, star roof, spoke hubcaps, space cruise control, with a license plate reading, "SPOILED BRAT". I paid sixty thousand spacezeni for it, all in cash; normally it would have cost me one hundred thousand spacezeni, but I got a great deal on it, thanks to my cousin, Prince Boxers and his wife, Princess Thong. They own the best car dealership in this part of the galaxy, and if you mention their spaceboard ad, they'll give you a great discount…"
"Yeah, yeah, yeah, who cares?" Lone Prince spat out. "Just tell us where she was last seen!"
"She just passed by planet Venus…Williams," King Briefs replied quickly.
"Good," Lone Prince told him. "We will find your daughter, I can assure you."
"Thank you!" King Briefs exclaimed breathlessly. "And if it's possible, do you think that you could save the car?"
Lone Prince wisely hung up the phone before he lost his temper. When he had calmed down, he turned to Hurl and shouted happily, "We're going to get our wishes granted, Hurl!"
"We'll be able to pay off Buu-Hoo and get somethin' for ourselves, Prince!" Hurl exclaimed joyously.
"Give me tail, Nappa-I mean, Hurl!" Lone Prince ordered triumphantly, and Hurl's tail grabbed Lone Prince's tail, and they literally shook tails vigorously.
"Hoo, hoo, hoo! Woo, woo, woo!" Hurl hooted.
"Finally! I haven't felt this great since McDonald's started allowing people to Galactic Size their meals!" Lone Prince declared happily.
Princess Bulma's last bit of luck had run out. Before she could set up her magnetic resister to resist the magnetic beam that Screwball 1000 aimed at her ship, it malfunctioned, and Bulma's car was caught up in the beam.
"Great!" Bulma wailed. "Even in the space age, nothing works! I'm suing Sawnya when this is over!"
Chichi Matrix sighed, "Sawnya has nothing to sue for except for…"
"I know! Her computer and her Beanie Baby collection!" Bulma grumbled. "I feel like we're moving backwards!"
Chichi Matrix looked out of the passenger-side window. "Honey, I've got bad news for you: we are moving backwards!"
Lone Prince and Hurl reached Princess Bulma's Mercedes-Benz much sooner than they expected. They were horrified to see that Princess Bulma's car had already been caught up in the laser beam.
Hurl paled when he saw the car being pulled towards Screwball 1000.
"Well, Prince, we've tried. Too late; they've got her caught in their magnetic beam; time to go back! I'll throw our ship in reverse, Prince, and we'll be away from here faster than you can say 'Dragonspaceballs'! Hey, want to pick up some 'Subatomicway' subs later, Prince! We just passed one on the way here; I'm starving!" Hurl reached for the reverse lever, but Lone Prince smacked his hand.
"No, we will not leave."
"But, Lone Prince, these are Screwballs we're talking about!"
"Hurl," Lone Prince said evenly. "Sawnya did not say that we are not Saiyans in this story, right?"
"R-Right, Prince."
"And Saiyans do not run from a fight, do they?"
"No-no, Prince."
"And what is one thing that Saiyans value most, Hurl, almost as much as a good fight?"
"H-Honor, Prince."
"Then our honor, which includes our word to King Briefs, tells us that we must stay and rescue the princess, right?"
"Y-Yes, Prince."
"Good. And there is another thing that you and I value very much right now, the main reason that we are doing this."
"What's this, Prince? Glory, fame, the chance of possibility sleeping with a royal princess?"
"No, you fool! Not for glory, not for fame, not for a quick lay! Dragonspaceballs, you idiot!"
"Prince, we're doing it for little golden balls. Is risking our lives to save some runaway princess worth it?"
"You fool! We're not doing this just for some little golden balls; we're doing it for SEVEN little golden balls! Seven golden Dragonspaceballs! Seven golden Dragonspaceballs that will grant our wishes! That will make us IMMORTAL, all-powerful, all mighty! Seven balls that will get us out of debt, and quadruple my chances with the women! To put it bluntly, Nappa-I mean, Hurl, I'm tired of being short! I want to be tall like you! I want women looking up to me, not me looking up to them! I want to be able to stare straight ahead at their chests, not up under them! I don't want to be mistaken for my dates' little brother anymore! I don't want to be offered the "Unhappy Meal" at McDonald's when I take a woman there, or offered the "Little Dipper" kiddie plates at restaurants on dates! I want to be tall and powerful! I want to be as tall as I am strong! Is that too much to ask?" Lone Prince wailed in despair.
Hurl held out his large hands in protest. "Take it easy, Prince. I didn't know it meant that much to you! Okay, we'll save the little royal lady, so we can become immortal, and you can have an edge with the ladies." Hurl comfortingly patted Lone Prince on the head, as if Lone Prince was a little boy. "It's going to be all right now, Lone Prince. Everything's going to be all right."
Lone Prince's despairing look hardened into his usual scowl. "Thank you for coming to your senses, Hurl, now's there just one last thing."
"What's that, Prince?"
"Don't ever pat my head again! What do you think I am? A dog?"
"S-Sorry, Prince!"
"Wha-I say, what is all the commotion in here? What's going on?"
Lone Prince and Hurl sighed when a tall red and white chicken entered the room, shaking his long red tail. They had picked him up from KFC, where he was about to be made into someone's "All You Can Eat For A Thousand Dollars" meal. They had saved his life from the cooks there in exchange for him becoming their personal servant, but so far, all the rooster had done was mooch off of their food, hog the television, and waste all of the hot water in shower. (Hurl had not been happy taking a cold shower earlier, and he had given the rooster a black eye before he had taken the actual shower.)
"What do you want, Foghorn Leghorn?" Lone Prince demanded to know.
"You, I say, you are out of food! The refriger-refrige, oh, never mind, the fridge, is out of food!"
"Well, we still have chicken at least," Hurl said meaningfully, looking directly at Foghorn. The loudmouthed chicken trembled under Hurl's hungry stare.
"Never mind him for now, Hurl," Lone Prince said authoritatively.
"Prince, we'll be spotted on their radar, shortly," Hurl told him.
"We have our cloaking device set up to prevent that, but we do need to send them a message, Hurl, a message that they will never forget. A visual one."
"When do we start firing our lasers at them, Prince?"
"Not that visual message, Hurl. Something a little more…innovative, something that will really tick Dark Horns off."
Hurl chuckled, as he dialed the phone and turned on the teleview. He and Lone Prince had managed to hack into the Mars-Bell phone system and gain Dark Horn's private telephone number. Hurl happily held up his middle finger, so that Dark Horns would see when he answered the phone. Lone Prince saw what Hurl was about to do and promptly hung up the phone before it rang any further.
"You idiot! Do you want to give us away so soon?" Lone Prince snapped.
"S-Sorry, Prince!" Hurl said quickly.
Lone Prince suddenly smirked. "However, your foolishness just gave me a clever idea. Do we still have that catapult that we bought at a discount?"
"Yes, Prince."
Lone Prince beckoned Hurl to bend down and listen to him, and Lone Prince whispered something into Hurl's ear, while casting meaningful glances back at Foghorn Leghorn, who was munching on a melted Milky Way Galaxy Bar that he had found wedged in Hurl's seat. Both Saiyans chuckled wickedly.
"I like this plan, already, Prince."
"Good," Lone Prince told him with a smirk. "Bring me some rope," he whispered. Hurl left to do so, and Lone Prince put his arm around Foghorn Leghorn in a friendly gesture.
"Foghorn, how would you like to become a hero?" Lone Prince asked smoothly. "You'll be remembered forever, for what you have been chosen to do. You'll go down in history for helping us save the princess."
"I-I get to help save a princess! This-this, I mean, this is just so great! Now I'll have something to brag to that stupid mutt when I get back to the farm. I say, that he never helped to save a princess! Sure, little man, I'll be happy to help!"
Lone Prince gnashed his teeth at being called a "little man", but he held his tongue. He needed the bird for this part of the mission to save Princess Bulma, so he had to be nice to the featherbrained fool until he had completed what he had to do.
Finally Hurl came back with the rope, and before Foghorn Leghorn could say a word, Lone Prince seized the rooster under his arms and pinned Foghorn's wings behind his back.
"Now," Lone Prince told Hurl happily, "comes the next part of my plan. Prepare the catapult, Hurl, and make sure that our friend is tied up nice and securely."
"With pleasure, Prince," Hurl said, as he tied the protesting Foghorn Leghorn up.
"Now I say, hey, what are you guys doing to me? Help, somebody! What are you guys going to do to me?" Foghorn cried out in vain.
"We're sending Dark Horns a nice message, and you happen to be our messenger," Lone Prince told him wickedly.
Hurl loaded the tied-up Foghorn into the catapult that was in the middle of the Capsulebago area. Lone Prince pressed a button to open the star roof, as the catapult slowly raised up, out of the ship and into the starry night.
"Now Hurl!" Lone Prince shouted when Foghorn was outside of the ship on the catapult. "Release the catapult!"
"Sure thing, Prince!" Hurl said happily, as he pulled the lever.
"HELP!" Foghorn Leghorn cried, as he was flipped into outer space towards Screwball 1000...
On Screwball 1000
..."She's ours now!" Dark Horns declared happily, with a sleepy, satiated look on his face. Something was moving beneath his cape, and Dark Horns cried out in pleasure before he could stop himself.
Porto Rico whispered to Captain Zarbon. "Captain, please don't tell me that he's-"
"Unfortunately, he is, Porto." Captain Zarbon cringed in disgust. "But look at it this way, at least in one-partner lovemaking, you don't need a condom."
"I think that you would, wouldn't you?" Porto asked. "To keep things from getting...messy?"
"Never mind, Porto," Captain Zarbon said quickly, not wanting to discuss Dark Horns's literal "one-on-one" lovemaking sessions any longer.
Suddenly they heard a loud cry for help, and Porto Rico and Captain Zarbon saw a red and white object with feathers flying through space towards Screwball 1000.
"What's that?" Porto Rico wanted to know, as the object came closer and closer until it crashed into the satellite radar on top of Screwball 1000 and knocked the satellite dish off, sending it into space.
The object, now identified as a rooster fell off of the radar and bounced off a wall, from where he eventually crashed into a window. Before Porto Rico and Captain Zarbon knew it, the rooster crashed through the window and right into Dark Horns's body.
"Activate emergency window!" Captain Zarbon ordered, and the emergency window was raised quickly before anyone suffocated.
"I say, well, I say, how did I get here?" Foghorn Leghorn asked, looking around the room. His chicken eyes bulged in horror. "Screwballs! Why me? Why? WHY!? I bet that Sawnya would have never done this to Tweety!"
"What the hell happened here, gentlemen?" Dark Horns wanted to know, unhappy because his "one-on-one" session had been rudely interrupted.
"Sire, I don't know how to put this, but…" Captain Zarbon's voice trailed off.
"Spit it out, Zarbon!"
"To put it bluntly, sire, it seems that someone has literally flipped us the bird!"
"Flipped us the bird? Flipped us the bird!" Dark Horns snapped, now privately zipping up his pants. He pulled out his clean hand from under his cape and pulled down his mask, so that it would disguise his voice. "Only one fool in the universe would dare to flip me the bird!" He changed his voice to become deeper, more threatening. "LONE PRINCE!"
He shook his clean fist at the window where Foghorn Leghorn had crashed through. "You'll pay for flipping me the bird, Lone Prince! Do you understand me? When I find you, I will-" Before Dark Horns could elaborate any further, he tripped over a camera cord, and he crashed through that same window and out into space.
"Oh no!" Kiwi wailed. "He'll die out there in space!"
"The bird survived," Captain Zarbon told him.
"That's only because Warner Bros. Company and PETA threatened to sue Sawnya if Foghorn Leghorn wound up dying in this movie," Porto Rico pointed out. "That was the condition on which they allowed Sawnya to use the bird. We can't even eat him, and that's too bad 'cause I really felt like chicken tonight."
"Never mind that now, Porto," Captain Zarbon told him. "Well, at least Lord Frieza-I mean Dark Horns can survive in space. They can't kill the main villain this early in the story."
"Yeah, that's true," Porto Rico agreed.
Lone Prince's Capsulebago pulled up right besides Princess Bulma's space-car, and then it moved above it. Lone Prince looked down from his window at Princess Bulma's car.
"Good," Lone Prince said happily. "I always like it when I'm on top."
"You're a missionary, aren't you?" Hurl asked, chuckling.
Lone Prince chuckled with him. "Missionary position is the only one for me! Hurl, go down there and retrieve the princess."
"With pleasure, Prince." And with that, Hurl opened the door (yes, he and Lone Prince and Princess Bulma and Chichi will be able to breathe in space in this story) and began to fold down the ladder to go down to Princess Bulma's space-car.