**Author's note. I do not now, nor will I ever, own these characters. The story, however, came from my brain, so please don't take it. Thanks and enjoy!
*****
Why wouldn't they let him rest? Just a moment's peace. He couldn't take it anymore. Why wouldn't it stop?
You don't deserve for it to stop.
Their blood. He could still taste it. Their screams echoed inside his head. What had he done? What had he become?
You are a monster. You are an evil beast. Remember? Buffy was right. How many have you killed? Do you even remember? You and Dru and Angelus and Darla. You were so proud of yourselves, weren't you? With every lifeless body that you threw into the gutter, you laughed. You laughed as you killed my wife and our unborn child. You laughed as you drained my body.
Buffy. He had loved her so. He had hurt her. The look in her eyes that night. He hadn't wanted to hurt her. He just wanted her to admit that she felt something for him.
You were going to rape her. Isn't that your way? Want. Take. Have. The way of darkness. The way of evil. You belong in Hell. You will never be allowed into the light.
Rape. He couldn't do it. He had felt so ashamed. So dirty. God, it was no wonder she couldn't love him. He was a loathsome creature. He had wanted to die.
Like you killed me? I was just a child. I hid in the closet while you and your mate killed my parents. I was so afraid. You smelled my fear. You came looking for me. Oh, how you and your whore laughed as you drank from me.
No. That was in the past. He wasn't like that anymore. His love for Buffy had changed all of that.
She could never trust you as you were. She told you, remember?
He had gotten his soul back for her. That was what she wanted, wasn't it? That would make her love him. That would make her trust him. He had never wanted to hurt her. That night. In her bathroom. What he had almost done. He knew then that he needed to try.
But it didn't work, did it? You told her about your soul that night at the church. What did she do? She ran from you, you stupid creature. You scared her. She will never love you.
She had loved Angel. Even after he lost his soul and terrorized the lot of them. She had still loved him when it was returned. Why couldn't she love him? He got his soul back to become a man for her. A man that she could love and trust and forgive.
What do you know about forgiveness? She will never forgive you for all that you've done. Why are you fighting it? There is a new evil in town. Why not join forces and get rid of the Slayer altogether?
What? No, never. He could never hurt Buffy again. He had to help her. He wouldn't let them hurt the girl. He had to protect her and help her. He had to fight at her side. He had to keep her safe.
You can't, you fool. Don't even try.
"I will."
*****
Why wouldn't they let him rest? Just a moment's peace. He couldn't take it anymore. Why wouldn't it stop?
You don't deserve for it to stop.
Their blood. He could still taste it. Their screams echoed inside his head. What had he done? What had he become?
You are a monster. You are an evil beast. Remember? Buffy was right. How many have you killed? Do you even remember? You and Dru and Angelus and Darla. You were so proud of yourselves, weren't you? With every lifeless body that you threw into the gutter, you laughed. You laughed as you killed my wife and our unborn child. You laughed as you drained my body.
Buffy. He had loved her so. He had hurt her. The look in her eyes that night. He hadn't wanted to hurt her. He just wanted her to admit that she felt something for him.
You were going to rape her. Isn't that your way? Want. Take. Have. The way of darkness. The way of evil. You belong in Hell. You will never be allowed into the light.
Rape. He couldn't do it. He had felt so ashamed. So dirty. God, it was no wonder she couldn't love him. He was a loathsome creature. He had wanted to die.
Like you killed me? I was just a child. I hid in the closet while you and your mate killed my parents. I was so afraid. You smelled my fear. You came looking for me. Oh, how you and your whore laughed as you drank from me.
No. That was in the past. He wasn't like that anymore. His love for Buffy had changed all of that.
She could never trust you as you were. She told you, remember?
He had gotten his soul back for her. That was what she wanted, wasn't it? That would make her love him. That would make her trust him. He had never wanted to hurt her. That night. In her bathroom. What he had almost done. He knew then that he needed to try.
But it didn't work, did it? You told her about your soul that night at the church. What did she do? She ran from you, you stupid creature. You scared her. She will never love you.
She had loved Angel. Even after he lost his soul and terrorized the lot of them. She had still loved him when it was returned. Why couldn't she love him? He got his soul back to become a man for her. A man that she could love and trust and forgive.
What do you know about forgiveness? She will never forgive you for all that you've done. Why are you fighting it? There is a new evil in town. Why not join forces and get rid of the Slayer altogether?
What? No, never. He could never hurt Buffy again. He had to help her. He wouldn't let them hurt the girl. He had to protect her and help her. He had to fight at her side. He had to keep her safe.
You can't, you fool. Don't even try.
"I will."