Chapter 3

'renegade fighter'

I'm a lover, I'm a winner, I'm a fighter

Gonna set your soul on fire!

I'm a lover, I'm a renegade fighter

Gonna set your soul on fire!

She was right.  I don't know if he forgave me, exactly, but he didn't say anything about our argument the next morning, and neither did I.  I think he noticed that I didn't yell at Sakura for taking too long, and waited for her before setting off without a word of complaint.  That night after school he came home early enough to fix dinner, and when he asked me politely how my day was, I responded in a carefully neutral tone that it had gone very nicely.

Strained, a little, but at least civil.  I knew it wasn't right, that it wasn't the relationship that it ought to be, but it was impossible to reach out.  I had to explain why I'd said those things, and I didn't want to do that.  It was easier to just pretend it never happened, and he seemed anxious to do the same. 

I really was trying harder, I decided with a touch of pride.  Maybe I resented it, still, but I kept my mouth shut that week about taking Sakura to and from school.  I leaned against the railing after warming up to give her a final warning.

"Just sit here in the bleachers, okay, squirt?  I'm going to be over there on that bench, and I won't be able to check on you after we get started.  I need you to sit still and not run off anywhere." 

"What am I going to do?" she whined, already looking bored.

"Do your homework."

"I don't have any."

"Well, read or something.  Watch me play."

"Can I cheer for you?"

"No!"  She pouted, but I patted her on the leg and turned away to retreat to the bench.  "Just sit still and be quiet.  Thank you."

Surely even she could contain herself for a couple of hours.  I pushed her out of my mind as the coach began to line out the first drill.

I like football.  Always have, ever since I was Sakura's age.  I know it's supposed to be a team sport, but once I've made contact with that ball, it's like everybody else disappears.  It becomes just me, the ball, and the opposition.  Fighting for that goal is something simple that I can do, that I can accomplish.  In my disaster of a life, it's a good feeling.

It had been a while, but already my muscles were falling into the familiar pattern as I zigged in and out through the orange cones, then kicked low and hard.  The goalie threw himself to the side with a grunt, but to no avail.  My shot hit the net with a satisfying swish, and I felt the whoosh of surprise go up from the team.  Coach raised his eyebrows slightly and made a mark on his clipboard.  And Ryu… I knew what I would see before I looked in his direction.  His eyes were smoldering.  I couldn't resist giving him a mocking grin. 

Drills continued for a while, then he picked out a lineup for scrimmage. 

"Let's see… Kinomoto, let's try you out in your position.  Right forward for the blue team."

"Yes sir."  With a smirk in Ryu's direction I picked up a strip of blue cloth and tied it securely over my forehead.  He was tying on a red one, preparing to assume the position opposite from me.  Perfect.

I don't know what it is about me.  I know what Dad said; I know what he wants.  But his words and his pleading eyes just melt away when I'm faced with a challenger.  Nothing else is as important as proving myself.  It doesn't matter who, it doesn't matter when.  It always happens sooner or later.  I came to the conclusion a long time ago that there are many out there like me, and that we can sense each other.  Like animals that have to battle for territory, or something.  We find each other, and then nothing will satisfy us until we've engaged in combat. 

The center forwards rushed toward the ball as Coach blew his whistle, and I tensed slightly in readiness.

The playing fields vary, but the combat always happens one way or another.  I know this.  What I don't know is why I was swept up in the conflict in the first place.  I didn't use to be like this.  I don't really remember what I was like before, though I guess I must have been like any other boy. 

Someone on my team managed to kick the ball sideways and I darted forward, snatching the ball from someone in red just in time.  Aggressively I dribbled past another offense man and shot forward.

It doesn't matter.  I'm this way now, and that's all that's important.  It's like a process of natural selection, and I'm determined not to be left behind in the evolutionary process.  I won't give up.  I won't go quietly into the night. 

Ryu was coming up on me, I could see, and I passed the ball to someone else in blue.

Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

He slammed into me at full speed just a second too late, and we both crashed to the ground.  I'm taller, but he's heavier by far and I had to swallow a groan as I picked myself up off the grass.  He gave me a smug look and I snarled, readying my fists, but before we could leap at each other, the coach interrupted us.

"Migake!  Shape up out there, that could cost us a penalty shot on the field.  Do I need to remind you that this is not American football?"  He didn't wait for a response but turned in my direction.  "Good play, Kinomoto.  I'm impressed.  You all right?"

There was the coppery taste of blood in my mouth, but I just spat it out and shrugged.

"Fine."

"Good.  Let's keep playing then.  And for the love of the game, Migake, take it down a notch or you're benched.  I mean it."

Ryu said nothing, but glowered at me silently.  Like it was my fault.

I can imagine how much he wanted to go at it, but Coach's threat must have been enough to keep him at bay.  The rest of the game continued uneventfully, and I didn't get an opportunity to score a goal.  At last we ended with one point each, when the sun was nearing the treetops.

"That's enough," he finally declared.  "Good practice, boys.  Game tomorrow at six.  Kinomoto, hope to see you there."  He grinned broadly in my direction.  "Come by my office tomorrow to get a uniform."

I nodded and bowed. 

"Thank you, sir."

I was chugging water when I happened to glance across the field to the parking lot and caught sight of her.  It would have been impossible not to.  The setting sun glinted off of her hair, reflecting in an auburn shine.  I forgot all about Ryu and football as I found myself jogging lightly over to the cars.  We hadn't really spoken since Monday night when I helped her clean the shrine, but we'd been trading stares in math class all week.  Something about this woman made me nervous, scared, but it was impossible to stay away from her.  She was as tantalizing as the promise of a good fight.

"Touya," she greeted me, juggling a large box of files and papers in her hands.  "You look like you had a good time out there."

"Maybe.  Can I help you carry those?"

"Thank you, they are rather heavy.  So many assignments to grade."  I took the box off her hands and followed her past the cars.

"I made the team.  I think he might even put me in the game tomorrow."

"Congratulations."

"Do you…" I strove to keep my voice light.  "Do you ever come watch them?"

The barest hint of a smile curved up her lips as she searched for her keys.

"Well, I haven't in the past.  Athletics doesn't interest me very much.  But I suppose if I had a friend on the team that I could cheer for, that would be nice."

She opened her car door and stepped aside.

"Just there on the backseat, please."

I hefted the box onto the seat cushion, then stood up and backed away.  I was covered in sweat and knew I didn't make a very attractive appearance, but she didn't seem to notice.  She was looking at me like a handsome millionaire was standing by her car instead of one of her scruffy students.

"Thank you for your help," she said at last, and I quickly shook my head.

"It was nothing.  Thank you for yours."

"Mm-hmm."  She shut the rear door and prepared to get in, then paused.  "There's more to life than fighting for survival.  Don't forget that in the game."

I was so surprised that I didn't even say anything as she shut the door and started the engine, then backed up and left the parking lot. 

"Mind reader," I muttered, then shivered.  It's creepy when someone knows what you're thinking.

A cool breeze blew, bringing me back to the present, and I realized how long the shadows were getting.  It was time to go, and I forced my tired and aching body to jog back to the field.

"Sakura, time to go."

The field and bleachers were utterly empty, all of the team had already scattered. 

"Sakura?"  I felt a prickle of nervousness as I looked around.  The little brat was nowhere to be seen.  "Sakura!"

"Onii-chan!" someone cried.  She sounded close, but I couldn't see anyone.

"Sakura?  Where are you?"  I wandered around the side of the bleachers and peeked underneath.  Sure enough, she was there, hanging by her knees on one of the beams, almost invisible in the darkness.

"Onii-chan, help me!"

"What are you doing?"  Now that I'd found her, my anxiety faded to impatience.

"I was practicing," she said plaintively.  "I can jump up and hang upside down now, but I don't know how to get back down!"

She couldn't have been more than a foot off the ground, but she looked so helpless.  I chuckled.

"It's not funny!"

"Sure it is.  This is really easy to get out of.  I'll show you.  Put your hands on the bar like this."  I took her hands in mine and placed them next to her knees.  "Now kick your legs up over your face."

"I can't do that!"

"Sure you can.  The weight of your legs will pull them back down to the ground, and then you just let go with your hands.  You'll land on your feet."

"I'm scared!"

"Don't worry.  I won't let you fall, I promise.  But you have to figure out how to do this on your own.  Next time I might not be around to catch you."

She sniffled, but the blood was beginning to rush to her head and she couldn't wait much longer.  Hesitantly she kicked her legs up, almost catching me on my nose.

"Now let go!"  She obeyed and released her grip, landing more or less on her feet, though she stumbled and almost fell on her butt.  I caught her just in time.  "There.  See?  That wasn't so hard."

A little woozy, she shook her head to clear it, then beamed at me.

"Thank you, Onii-chan!  That was so much fun!"  She threw herself on me, and I had to push her off.

"I've told you not to do that.  Now come on, I'm starving.  Time to get home."

"Okay!" 

Her little misadventure already forgotten, she skipped ahead of me on the walk home.  It was rare for me to be so nice to her, and she was simply glowing with the unexpected treatment.  I wasn't feeling so bad myself, when we arrived home and saw Dad's car in the driveway.

"Daddy's home already!"  She rushed through the front door, and I heard him grunt as she threw herself on his lap.  "Hi Daddy!"

"Sakura-san, where have you been?  Where's Touya?"

"Onii-chan brought me home!"

I entered the front door and slammed it shut behind me, wearily kicking off my shoes.

"Touya-kun, where have you two been?  I was expecting everybody to be home when I got here."

"Football practice!" she explained, before I could open my mouth.  Dad's eyes widened a bit, and I knew what he was thinking about.
"You joined the football team?" he asked quietly.  I nodded.

"Sort of.  I mean, I just made it today."

"You could have said something."

I shrugged.  "It didn't come up."  He was hurt, I knew, and I just looked away.

"I see," he said carefully.  "Well, you look like you could use a shower, so go on up.  I'll start dinner.  Sakura-san, would you like to help set the table?"

"Sure!"  She wriggled out of his arms and skipped into the kitchen.

"Touya-kun."  I paused, my foot on the first step.  "You're going to… play nice, right?"

I stared at the carpeting on the stairs.

"I play to win, Dad.  You know that.  Always have."

He didn't have anything to say to that, and I trudged up the stairs.  I couldn't ever remember being so tired.

- - - - - - - - - - -

"So, basically, you just switch the numbers."

"It's a little more complicated than that, Aki.  Combining various elements into molecules involves the exchange of electrons, bonding them together to form new substances."

"But when that happens, you just switch the numbers."

"Well… yes."

"Aha!  I knew that chemistry teacher was confusing me for no reason."

I rolled my eyes as I opened my locker.  Aki was in every other one of my classes, and he'd taken it upon himself to try and make sure I was included with his gang of friends in the library and lunch common.  He seemed a friendly guy, like most, and a little bothered that I didn't particularly care about making friends.  Generally he spent most of his time trying to figure out how to get on teachers' nerves, which earned some of my respect, although he did so by purposely (from what I could tell) doing bad on his schoolwork.  He would also endeavor to wear a printed Hawaiian shirt over his school uniform.  The guy was weird, but harmless.

"On the exam, you're going to need to know why you switch the numbers.  Trust me."

"Aw, the exam isn't for another week.  No need to get worked up about it anytime soon.  What're you doing this weekend?"

I paused thoughtfully, then stepped to the side, just in time to avoid Kei.  No doubt she'd meant to stumble into me, but almost banged her head into the locker instead.

"Ouch!  Oh, Touya, how clumsy of me.  I almost crashed right into you."

She recovered nicely and leaned against the lockers, arching her back and smiling. 

"Lucky miss," Aki agreed, with a straight face.

"So, Touya, I've invited you over to my house twice to tutor me on my chemistry.  That's twice more than I've ever had to ask a guy.  What's it going to take, hmm?"

"Miracle," I said shortly, and slammed my locker shut, almost catching her hair.  She squeaked and cringed, but it didn't scare her off.  Nothing did.  The more I brushed her off, the more intrigued she seemed to become, until she was practically shadowing me in the halls.  I got the impression that she wasn't used to guys rejecting her.

"I heard you're playing in the game tonight.  Did you know I'm on the cheerleader squad?  I'll be rooting for you."

"Don't need it."  I turned on my heel and began striding down the hall.  She elected not to follow and instead pulled out a comb, leaning back against my locker and watching me go.  Aki was snorting with glee as he tried to match my long steps.

"I can't believe how you're stringing her along like this, Kinomoto, most guys would have given in on the second day.  I know I would have."

"Terrific."

"You're missing your chance, man.  Forget about Ryu.  When in your life are you ever going to have a gorgeous brunette throwing herself on you?"

"Never again, I hope," I grunted.  "I've got enough to deal with thinking about the game tonight."

"Nervous?"

"No, not really."  He pushed aside the door to math class and we entered.  She hadn't arrived yet, and I wondered again if she would come that night.  What would it be like to play, knowing she was watching me?  Would it make me nervous, or even more aggressive?

It would be interesting to find out.

- - - - - - - - -

"Can I sit up front?  So I can watch the cheerleaders?"

"That's fine."  I sat Sakura down on the front seat of the bleachers and put my bag at her feet.  "Just please don't go running off this time.  There are a lot of people here, and you could get lost.  Just sit right there, and watch the cheerleaders."

"Okay!"

"Good girl."

"Good luck, Onii-chan!"

"Shh.  Don't shout like that."  I blushed as a few people looked our way.  "And by the way, please don't cheer for me when I'm on the field.  It'll distract me."

She looked a little disappointed, then she perked up again when the squad filed out from the school waving their pom-poms and batons. 

"I have to go now.  Have fun."  Quickly I backed away from Sakura and went to join the team.  The last thing I needed was for Kei to see me talking to her; she'd probably try to adopt Sakura.

Of course, that would solve everything.  I chuckled and began to stretch.  But Dad wouldn't appreciate it. 

Both teams went through their traditional warm-ups, then the coaches shook hands.  The first string players, which did not include me, scrambled out to fill their positions.  The forward kicked off, and the game had begun.

I couldn't help it; I twisted slightly on the bench to scan the bleachers.  Surely with that hair, she'd be easy to spot, even in the thickening dusk.  But I couldn't see her anywhere.

Kei, prancing with the other girls, caught my eye and winked.  Hastily I turned my face back out to watch the action on the field.  It was nearing the end of the first quarter, and still neither team had scored.  I'd already forgotten the name of the opposing school, but it was obvious they were pretty tough.  I watched one of them battle savagely for the ball, knocking down my teammate so he could get a clear shot.  The ref blew his whistle, and the guy groaned impatiently.

The sun had almost disappeared, and the field lights snapped on, bathing the players in a sudden harsh light.

That guy there, he was another one.  Another challenger.  I hope I get the chance to go against him. 

Our team was playing their hardest, half-time came and went, and still no goal. 

"Migake, take a break.  Kinomoto, you're up."

"What?"

"No argument," Coach said firmly.  "The offense tonight isn't getting anywhere, and I want you to take a break.  Let the new guy take a turn."

Ryu fumed, but I just smiled and pulled off my warm-up pants.

"You heard the man, Ryu.  You want to win tonight or not?"

I didn't think it was possible for him to get any redder, but I was wrong.  His whole face went scarlet as he sat with a thump on the bench, and I jogged lightly to my place on the field.  The night breeze was cool, but I knew I wouldn't feel it in a few minutes.  All that mattered was the game.

The player threw the ball back in the field, and I was galvanized into action.  Instinctively running alongside a teammate, I kept pace until he saw me and passed the ball.  Someone tried to intercept it, but I caught it in time and began dribbling.  A cheer went up from the crowd.

I was almost humming under my breath as I slid past the half-backs, the ball making a comforting thwacking noise against my shoes.  Another song was running through my mind, carrying me along.  The world had become simple.  There was nothing but me, and the ball, and the people in my way.

I am a fighter.  I will fight you, and I will win.  Do not try to get in my way.

I blitzed past the fullback, desperately trying to intercept me.

The other fullback slammed into me and the ball went straight up into the air.  I caught it with my head and bounced it away before he could touch it, then jumped and kicked. 

It went flying past the stunned goalie and into the net.  I'd scored the first goal of the game within minutes of walking onto the field, and the bleachers erupted in cheers.  I didn't notice.  I was leaning over, my hands on my knees, breathing raggedly as I returned to reality. 

I will fight you.  And I will win.

I wiped my brow with my sleeve and returned to my position.

- - - - - - - - -

Of course, after that stunt the other team wouldn't let the ball get anywhere near me.  They surrounded me with their men in an effort to intercept any pass, determined that I not be allowed to score.  It was their undoing.  With all their energy poured into playing defense, they never even managed to get the ball close to our goal.  The final quarter was ticking away, and I could see their forwards were getting desperate.  The big one sailed in and grabbed the ball, making a bid to dribble across the halfline. 

Oh no, you don't. 

He was going right past me and I ran lightly to the side.  He never saw me coming until it was too late, and I stole the ball neatly out from underneath his feet.  I thought I'd made a clean getaway, but I didn't move quite fast enough.  One of his feet managed to snag mine, and I hit the grass hard.

It hurt, and I could hear the crowd on the bleachers booing, but I just smiled as I leapt to my feet.  Finally the chance to –

There's more to life than fighting for survival.  Don't forget that in the game. 

I sucked in my breath, and of all things, hesitated.  He smirked at me in the eerie glow of the field lights, the spark of challenge in his eyes.  He was daring me.  I raised my fists again.

You don't have to do this, Touya.  You're more than a fighter.

I gasped and took another step back, much to his and my surprise.  Finally the ref arrived, still blowing on his whistle.

"Foul, foul!  One free kick for Tomoeda!"

He groaned and started to argue with the ref, but I paid no attention.  Instead I turned my head and searched the bleachers.  It was so dark… impossible to see.  But I knew she was there.  She was standing up at the top, on the very last bench, her long hair waving in the night breeze.  And I knew she was smiling.

- - - - - - - -

The other school never did manage to score a goal, and we ended up winning 2-0.  I was the team's new hero, and they all crowded around me with words of congratulations.  Minus Ryu, naturally.  I lost track of him in the crowd, as I sought to escape all the attention from my teammates and the cheerleaders.  Finally I caught sight of her leaving the bleachers and hurried to catch up.

I never said a word, but she knew I was behind her and she turned.  Her warm brown eyes twinkled as we stared at each other in a moment of silence.

"I – I could hear you," I ventured, and she nodded.  "You were talking to me, and I could hear your voice in my head."

"Yes."

"How?"

"Perhaps you have very excellent hearing."  I didn't know quite what to say to that, so I remained silent.  She spoke again.  "What is far more interesting, is that you actually listened."

She was right.  I actually backed down from a fight.  I've never done that before.  At that moment, a kind of funny tingle went through me, like a half-memory of how things used to be.  The way I was before.  She didn't say anything, but I think she could feel it because her smile grew even more and there was a look of approval in her eyes.

"What - "

"Onii-chan!" someone shrieked, and Sakura barreled into me at high velocity.  "Wow, that was the bestest game you've ever ever played and it was so cool!"

I was sore from all the activity and uttered a grunt of pain as she slammed into me and then began jumping up and down.

"Knock it off, you little monster."

"Onii-chan!  I'm not a - "

"Shut up.  You are."  I picked her up and held her easily under one arm while she kicked and struggled.

"Hey, put me down!"

"Excuse me," I said, polite once more.  "My sister is a little hyperactive."

Kaho laughed lightly, and shot what looked almost like a curious look toward the little girl with pigtails in my grasp.  For a horrible moment, I thought she was going to be like everyone else when they meet my sister.  It doesn't matter who they are, no one can keep themselves from gushing about how cute she is when they first lay eyes on her.  It's disgusting, and probably going to give her a huge ego one of these days. 

But Kaho did nothing of the kind.  She just smiled at her, then looked back at me.  I think she was about to say something when someone else interrupted us.

"Touya-kun!  There you are.  Great game."

"Dad?"  Indeed, there he was, standing a little ways away and beaming happily.  "What are you doing here?"

"It's your first football game, why shouldn't I be here?"

"Uh, yeah."  I was startled, and I know it showed on my face.  He saw the look and his smile faded somewhat.  "Um, thanks."

"I got here right when you scored that goal.  Congratulations.  You played a wonderful game."

Translation:  I saw you back down from that other player.  I'm so proud that you actually used your head for once.

I scowled slightly and looked at the ground.  True, it did feel strange that I'd resisted conflict, but I didn't do it for him.  I felt an urge to tell him that, then bit my tongue.

"Good evening," Kaho finally said to cover up the awkward pause.  "I'm Kinomoto-san's math teacher for this trimester.  Your son is a wonderful student, I'm so glad he's in my class."

Dad's eyebrows went right up as he turned to Kaho.  He was so surprised that he didn't say anything at all for a moment.

"Er, hello," he finally managed.  "I'm glad to hear that.  Math is one of his favorites."

"I know.  He's quite intelligent, as well as athletic.  You must be very proud."

I flushed slightly.  Dad, proud of me?  Yeah right.  But he was nodding slowly.

"I am.  Now, if you'll excuse us, it's time for Sakura to get to bed.  It was nice meeting you."  He bowed, and she copied him before turning and wandering away in the crowd.  I couldn't help it; I followed her willowy walk with my eyes until Dad had to clear his throat.  "Touya-kun?  Can we get going?  Your sister should not be out this late."

"I can so be out this late," she murmured, though not very forcefully.  The excitement of the game had clearly worn her out, and she was no longer struggling to escape my hold on her.  Wearily I hiked her up and carried her as I followed Dad out into the parking lot. 

He paused with his keys still in the lock, and looked over the roof of the car.

"She seems nice.  Your teacher."

It was so dark.  Was that just the merest hint of suspicion in his eyes?  I couldn't trust myself to respond neutrally, so I just nodded.

"It was a good game, Touya-kun.  I'm proud." 

And with that, he unlocked the car and slid into his seat.  We drove home in silence.

- - - - - - - - -

The next day was torture lying around the house and waiting.  I suppose I could have left to go on a walk, there was no reason I couldn't go in the afternoon.  But I resisted the impulse.  I had the strangest feeling that I wasn't allowed to be there while it was still daylight, the tree wouldn't like it unless I came at night.  That was the right time to be there.

And so I waited, listening to one song after another until Dad cooked dinner and fed us, and he retreated upstairs to tuck Sakura in.  I left the house at a fast pace, and it wasn't long before I was standing under the Tsukimine arch once more.

Just as before, she was near the tree, sweeping.  This time, however, I was determined to not get sidetracked. 

"You're like me, aren't you?" I began, without preamble.  She said nothing, just concentrated on her sweeping.  "You're different from the others."

"What is 'different' anyway?" she sighed.  "Perhaps it's the others who are different, and we who are normal."

"Please don't."  I reached out and put my hand over hers, stopping the motion of the broomstick.  Her eyes widened slightly at my brazenness, but I couldn't help myself.  Enough games.  I had to ask my questions.  "Tell me.  How did you know about my secret?"

"I could feel it in you.  I sensed you before I even met you, Touya.  It's true, there are those of us who are different from the others.  We seek each other out, even if we are unaware of it."

It was a statement that sounded remarkably close to my own theory concerning fighters. 

"Is that why I can hear your voice in my head?  Is that why I can't stop thinking about you?"

I couldn't believe I'd just said that.  We stared at each other for a frozen moment after those words, both equally surprised.  I could feel my cheeks getting warm, and even her white skin looked a little redder than usual.  It was difficult to tell, in the capricious moonlight.  When I couldn't take the silence any more, I spoke again.

"Who are you?  What do you want with me?"

"I don't want anything from you, Touya.  It's enough for me to just be here, underneath the tree, with you.  You're the one who is seeking."

"Seeking what?"

"You're searching for the fight.  I can feel it within you.  You want the perfect opponent to lash out against and prove your strength. Even now, you seek to turn a discussion into an argument.  You hunger for the conflict."

The words, spoken simply and directly, hit me like a surprise jab to the face.  I released my hold on her and turned away, leaning forward and gripping the low picket fence with both hands.

"Your desires were screaming over the football field, I almost had to cover my ears.  Why do you torture yourself like this?  Why waste time searching for something that you can never find?"

"Never find?" I repeated.  "I find it all the time.  There are so many out there like me.  I can sense them, like you said you can sense me.  We find each other and we fight.  Eventually one emerges the champion.  I can be that one."

"No."

"What?"  I turned away from the tree to face her again.  "What do you mean, no?  I'm the strongest.  I'm the best.  I can do it!"

"You'll never be convinced of that in your heart.  You'll never be satisfied that you defeated the ultimate opponent.  There'll always be another one to fight.  You can spend your whole life searching for the perfect fight."  We were both still while she spoke; I was unable to tear my eyes away from hers.  "Why?"

"Because it's who I am.  I'm a fighter!"

"That's not a reason.  As I told you last week, we all make our own choices.  You choose to be the way you are.  Have you ever asked yourself why?"

"Yes," I finally whispered.  "But I don't know the answer.  Do you?"

She hesitated.

"Maybe.  And I think you do too.  I suspect if you think on it for some while, you'll understand the cause."

"Will it be painful?"

"Are you afraid?"

"No!"  I said it quickly, before my brain had a chance to consider her words.  I was never afraid of anything.  But there was still a nervous flutter inside me.  I did not particularly care to tread down this road.  The memories were unwelcome.

"Do you promise, Touya?"  I looked up again at her face.  Her expressions were always so reserved, so cool and detached, but just now she looked almost hopeful as she leaned forward.  "Do you promise to think about it before you allow yourself to be drawn into another conflict?"

I can't promise something like that, my mind shouted hysterically.  I know me better than that.  I'll never be able to back away from a fight if Ryu starts something!

"I promise."

Damn!  Why did I say that?

"Good.  I'm so glad.  Now, won't you help me finish cleaning?"

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Disclaimer:  I do not own these characters.