Never-NeverLand – Chapter 2
"RAPHAEL! THAT'S NOT APRIL!" Leonardo and Donatello burst out of the house, hitting the lawn at a dead run. Raphael had been standing, staring open-mouthed, but his brothers' entrance triggered an almost instinctive response.
"No shit."
Casey took a step back as Leo and Don screeched to a halt in front of him. "Whoa. What the hell is with you guys? April couldn't make it. Said something about an assignment. Broad had me drop everything and borrow her van to come and get you guys."
Raphael snorted, "Drop everything huh? Would that have been a beer and your latest copy of 'Hustler'?"
Casey glared at him. "I don't drive drunk. She caught me before I'd had my daily 6-pack. So you ungrateful lizards owe me some brewskis when we get back to the city."
Raphael waved him away. He turned to his brothers. "You guys go get things ready at the house. I'll explain things to the monkey."
"Who you callin' a monkey, you overgrown house pet?"
Leonardo nodded slowly. "Okay."
As they walked back to the house, Donatello asked, "You sure this is a good idea? I mean, they finally seem ok with the idea of meeting April, but Casey… uh, he's not April, is he?"
"Well, we don't have enough food to stay here, and Casey did drive the three hours to get here. True, he's not April, but he's a good guy…"
Donnie sighed. 'Yeah, he's a good guy. He's also wearing a "Happiness is a Belt-Fed Weapon" T-shirt.'
Raphael glared at his best friend.
"So let me get this straight. You guys have four, young, turtle, women in that house, and you're standing out here by your lonesome waiting for April to show up?" Casey laughed out loud, thumping Raphael on the back. "Jeez man, I know you've got the manners of a stoned goat, but damn! You struck out already?! Or are they all just as ugly as you four?!"
Casey's laughter stopped abruptly. It's hard to laugh when you cannot breathe.
Raphael waited for his friend to recover from that blow to the gut. When he was sure he had Casey's attention, he tried to explain things again. "There's nothing wrong with them. In fact, if I hear you say one word against them, I'll kill you and bury the body where no one will find it. I'm sure Donnie can figure out how to drive." He paused, waiting for that to sink in. "To say that they've had a hard life would be the understatement of a lifetime. They have a rather understandable dislike for humans. It took us a day and a half to get them to agree to meet April. You've shown up instead." Raphael waited for Casey to stop coughing. "We're gonna go in there, and I'm gonna introduce you. You're gonna be just as respectful of them as you are of Master Splinter – NO MATTER WHAT KIND OF REACTION THEY HAVE TO YOUR UGLY HUMAN FACE!"
"Reaction?"
"Yeah, the first few times we mentioned April… well, let's just call it hysterics." He shook his head and looked back at the house with a worried glance. "So we clear? Best behavior? No fuckin' stupid questions? I'll tell you all about 'em later, but right now, you're Miss-Fuckin-Manners, right?"
Casey winced and stood upright. "You owe me two six-packs now, Kermit."
+"Raphael's best friend?"+
"He's got friends?"
"Cabbage! Shut up!" Shima turned back towards her brothers. Mike was trying to hide a smile and failing. "You trust him?"
Leonardo answered without hesitation. "With our lives."
Donatello nodded, "He saved Master Splinter from, well, a gang of murderers." He shifted, well aware that they had yet to explain the Foot to the girls.
Shima let the obvious question pass. "You say you trust him, yet all of you are worried. Why?"
Mikey blinked. 'That's the kind of thing you expect to hear from Sensei, not Shima. Weirdness.' He added his two cents. "Well, Casey's a great guy and all, but he's a bit rough around the edges, ya know? Might make a bad first impression. Uh, we know the humans've done you wrong, and we're worried that he's just gonna freak ya out before ya get to know him."
Cabbage bit her lower lip. "But you say you trust him?"
All eyes went to Splinter as he calmly nodded, "Completely."
The door opened, and Raphael preceded a scruffy-looking human into the living room. The girls were immediately on their feet, shoulders back, and staring into the middle distance. Casey could see the one shaking. 'Christ. It's like they're all at attention.' Raphael grunted like he'd been hit, and escorted Casey into the room.
"Casey, I'd like you to meet our sisters: Pipes," she was shaking badly; "Cabbage," she'd bit her lower lip until it bled; "Sterling," her eyes bored twin holes into his skull; and "Shima," she was the only one who nodded briefly to acknowledge the introduction. "Ladies, I want to introduce my friend Casey Jones. He's safe. I promise."
Casey waved, but received no response. He felt like he was supposed to make some kind of inspection or something. 'Lined up like for roll call. They're all so skinny, they look more like friggin' prayin' mantises than turtles. The stripes are cool though, like having tattoos from birth: face, neck, shoulders, hips, forearms and feet. Heh. They'd probably set a trend if the guys over at "The Needle and Ink" ever saw that. Shells have even got curves. Raph's right; there's nothing wrong with 'em. Nothin' a few meals wouldn't fix. Not my bag, but hey, I can see why the guys seem so protective.' His train of thought derailed suddenly as Leonardo poked him in the back.
"Say something."
Casey floundered until he caught Master Splinter's gaze. Feeling as though he had an ally, he took a deep breath. "It's very nice to meet you all. I've been hangin' around with the guys for years now, so if my manners're rusty, you know why. I've got the van out front, and god only knows how you're all gonna fit in it, but I figure you'll sort that out. It's three hours to New York, so go ahead and get yourselves ready. I'll be waiting at in the van."
Shima surprised them all by stepping forward. She held her hand out awkwardly and smiled a uncertain grin. "I understand you went to great inconvenience to come get us. Thank you for that Mr. Jones."
Casey smiled and shook her hand. "It's just Casey. And it's no big deal, toots."