Chapter 5
'test'
Hey you,
Out there in the cold,
Getting lonely, getting old,
Can you feel me?
Hey you,
Don't help them to bury the light.
Don't give in without a fight.
The July sunshine outside was mocking us, teasing. It looked like a beautiful summer day out there, but we couldn't touch it, not yet. Just one last hurdle to overcome: final exams. We were fidgeting in math class now, struggling through the last test.
Math is my favorite, and normally I wouldn't be having a problem, but it was hard for me to concentrate. I'd had a nightmare the night before, and even though I couldn't remember what it had been about, it left me with a vague sense of unease in my stomach. A feeling of unpleasant things to come.
Somehow I made it through before the bell rang, and Kaho started collecting the tests.
"Congratulations on finishing, students. I hope you all have a wonderful summer."
"Will you still be here in the fall?" one girl asked, as everybody began to gather their books. Everyone grew quiet, and I looked up sharply. She was looking straight at me, indecisiveness in her eyes.
"I'm not really sure just yet," she answered slowly. "That rather depends on how things go this summer. I guess only time will tell."
The students filed out of the room, and I followed reluctantly. She was still looking at me, and I wanted to stay and talk to her, but Aki was hanging around, yakking.
What did she mean by 'how things go this summer?' What was she expecting? Did it have anything to do with me?
I was burning to ask, but I could do nothing except look over my shoulder at her as I followed Aki out of the room. She was silent, returning my stare intently.
"Well, that was particularly horrible," he groaned aloud. "I feel drained, and you look it. I'm surprised at you, Kinomoto, I thought you'd breeze through that exam. Have a tough time with it?"
I shrugged.
"No, not really. I just didn't get much sleep last night. I had a nightmare."
"Oh yeah? What about?"
"I don't remember." I prepared to open my locker for the final time that trimester. "It was just… disturbing."
"Worst kind," he said cheerfully. "I dreamed I took the test in my underwear. Although that might have actually been a flashback – did I ever tell you about the time that I - "
"No, and I hope you won't."
He chuckled and started fishing for something in his dumpster of a locker.
"And at long last, we've reached the end. Nothing but six beautiful carefree weeks before us. And what better way to celebrate than by staying up all night and corroding our minds?"
"What?"
"My buddies and I play an annual all-night game of poker after the last day of school. We could use a fifth vic- I mean, guy. Care to join?"
He gave me a hopeful look as he withdrew a greasy deck of cards and began to shuffle them expertly in midair. His face and my surroundings began to fade away into darkness as a memory clicked.
"Cards," I murmured, and reached to take them from his hands.
"What?"
"Cards. That's what my nightmare was about. I was dreaming about… cards." Confused, I studied the innocuous stack in my hands. What was so threatening about them? Why would I have a bad dream about such a random object?
"Touya!" Kei, from out of nowhere, took advantage of the distraction and wrapped her arms around me from the side. The cards went fluttering to the floor, and I uttered an exclamation of disgust.
"Get off of me!"
"Oh Touya, my family's going abroad for the summer. I'm going to miss seeing your face around. Won't you miss me too?"
"As much as I'll miss school. Let go of me." I flashed a dark look at Aki's gleeful expression and tried to wriggle out of her grasp. An archaic sense of chivalry embedded within me prevented me from elbowing her in the ribs and stamping on her foot, but she was sorely testing my patience.
"Hey!" thundered a familiar voice, and the crowds of students in the hall suddenly fell silent. "Hey, get your hands off her!"
My hands were nowhere near her, but that didn't bother Ryu any. Kei quickly backed off, much to my relief, and stood preening by the edge of the crowd. Expectantly, the students were forming a circle around the two of us as he drew closer.
"Uh-oh," Aki muttered, and clapped a hand on my shoulder. "Good luck." He quickly evaporated, not that I blamed him. Ryu looked ready to kill.
"What do you think you're doing, groping her? You are dead, Kinomoto!"
He threw a punch and I slid out from underneath it, putting a little distance between us. It might look to the untrained eye that I was backing away, but in reality it was the perfect striking distance for someone with legs as long as mine. I could snap a kick to his temple from here, no problem.
"What's up, Ryu? Mad that I scored a goal again in our last game? You're really falling behind as lead forward. Maybe next season I'll take your spot as center scoresman."
"I'm not gonna take your smart-ass attitude anymore, Kinomoto. You're asking for a beating, and I'm gonna give you one."
"Fight, fight, fight," the crowd chanted delightedly. I shook the bangs out of my eyes and gave him a cool and calculating look. I wasn't afraid. They wanted a fight; I'd give him one with no problem.
Do you really want to fight him, Touya?
I inhaled sharply, and barely managed to evade his next wild strike. I was too surprised to counterattack.
You understand that besting him in combat will bring you no satisfaction.
I shook my head, annoyed, trying to clear it of her voice.
Get out of my head! I want to do this!
No you don't.
Once again I darted out of range of his punch, utterly shocked. Even after hearing her voice in my head for so long, it had never occurred to me that she could hear my thoughts as well. I didn't know where she was in the halls, but she was carrying on a conversation with me in my mind as calmly and dispassionately as if we were back in the shrine, sweeping.
Don't argue with me! He started it; he deserves it. If I could just knock him out once, he'll leave me alone. I just need to show him how strong I am. I only have to do it once!
Only once with him. Then who will be next? And after that? And after that?
Ryu leapt for me with a sharp jab, but I twisted out of the way. All it would take was one spinning reverse hook kick. I could nail him in the temple, and he'd be out for the count. My body trembled to do it; I ached to finish him off. I could almost taste the victory. But somehow I managed to hold back.
Fighting will not bring your mother back. You know this now. Why must you seek to prove yourself?
Stop it! Stop lecturing me. I'm old enough to make my own decisions. I want to do this!
Our audience had fallen strangely silent, watching this one-sided fight with awe.
"What's the matter, Kinomoto?" he snarled. "Afraid to sit still and take a punch? Is that all you got? Try and hit me already!"
He wanted it too; wanted it as badly as I did. We were both alphas, dying to prove ourselves to the rest of the pack. I ground my teeth as she spoke again.
I know you are old enough to make your own decisions. I'm not stopping you from striking back. I'm reminding you that you have a choice. You do not belong to this eternal conflict of kill-or-be-killed. You can rise above.
Why did she have to go and say it like that? Frustrated, I slammed my fist into the lockers beside me. Incredible as it seemed, I realized that I couldn't fight him. It wasn't going to help. It would feel nice, in the short run, but it wasn't going to bring her back. Nothing was going to bring her back.
He hurtled toward me at full speed and I ducked, letting him roll right over my back. Everyone shouted in delight as he hit the ground and rolled across the surface, littered with cards.
"What's going on here!" raged an older voice, and the crowd parted to let a teacher through, simmering with rage. "Break it up now! Neither you move!"
I hadn't even broken a sweat, and I jammed my hands in my pockets and glared at the man. I hadn't started it, I hadn't done anything, but I was drawn into the trouble anyway. Dad was going to be furious when he got the call. I'll probably end up grounded for the entire summer.
"What happened here, what's going on?" He glared suspiciously at the both of us. "Fighting on school grounds is major offense, and I'm sure the both of you know it. You think you can get away with it because it's the last day? Think again. I'll have you scrubbing the blackboards so fast your heads will spin!"
"Ah sir," Aki spoke up. "I think the rest of the students here will agree with me when I say that this was not a fight. Kinomoto-san here did not throw a single punch or strike."
The teacher hesitated when he looked at my dark expression and even breathing. Across from me, Ryu was wheezing like a locomotive. But all around, heads were nodding.
"Nope, never threw a punch, sir."
"Honest sir, he didn't hit back once."
"That's right."
People that I didn't even know were speaking up, sticking up for me. I flushed and looked down at my feet. This wasn't what I had wanted. I didn't want to weasel out of the punishment – after all, I'd wanted it to happen just as much as he did. I spent the entire spring provoking him. And just when it finally happened, I had let her talk me into standing down. What was wrong with me?
"It wasn't a fight," I said at last.
"Excuse me?"
"They're telling the truth. Ryu just wanted to see my karate moves, and we were practicing in the halls." Aki's eyebrows shot up in surprise, and Ryu flashed me a startled look. I couldn't help myself. If I wasn't going to get in trouble, then I didn't want him to get in trouble too. It wasn't even that way. "We were just playing around, and everyone was watching. That's all. You don't see any blood, do you?"
It was true; neither of us had so much as a scratch. He shuffled and hesitated, instinctively disbelieving me but knowing that to book us would involve a considerable amount of trouble on his last day at work. Finally he shrugged.
"Make sure you do your 'practice' outside next time. Now get out of here. Go start your vacation already."
Relieved, the students scattered, talking excitedly amongst themselves. The teacher turned on his heels and left, and Ryu marched up to me, almost smoking in fury.
"You think that saved you?"
"Just wanted to be fair."
"Well, it didn't. I don't need your help, Kinomoto, I don't need your little games. Your act is really starting to bug me."
"There's no act."
"Shut up. Enjoy your summer, hotshot. And watch out for me next fall. It's gonna happen between us."
He snorted and whirled around, grabbing Kei as he whisked past her.
"C'mon. We're out of here."
"You're hurting me," she whined, though not very forcefully. She seemed to enjoy being pulled around, and she shot me another vivacious look over her shoulder before he dragged her around the corner. She'd gotten exactly the attention she wanted, and I knew this experience wasn't going to scare her away from me anytime soon.
"And now," Aki announced dismally. "It's time for 52-pickup. Don't suppose you'd care to help, seeing as how you dropped them?"
"It wasn't on purpose," I pointed out, forcing down another shudder as I watched him gather them up. Gathering the cards…
A sensation of being watched distracted me, and I looked up. She was out in the courtyard, watching me through a window, a thoughtful look on her face.
"I gotta go," I said tonelessly, and slammed the locker shut.
"But what about the game?"
"Maybe next time." I never took my eyes off her as I started walking, leaving him behind. "Have a good summer, Aki."
His pleas for me to at least give him a call went unnoticed, and I pushed open the school doors. The courtyard wasn't quite empty; students were still in clusters under the trees, discussing their plans for vacation. It didn't matter. We didn't have to speak out loud.
I can hear you. And you can hear me.
Yes.
Why? How?
Because we're different, Touya. You know that. We are kindred spirits.
You should have let me fight him. He'll only be worse from now on.
There was no 'letting'. You chose not to fight him, not me. I merely reminded you of your hard-learned lesson. I did not wish to see you suffer more.
I scowled.
I can take care of myself.
Of course. And you did quite well for yourself today. You should be proud.
I paused for a moment to reflect on that. In a way, it had felt kind of nice to stand up to him without actually hitting back. It had been every bit as difficult, physically, to survive the fight that way.
Indeed. An American by the name of King once said much the same thing. He was very wise.
Stop that! Stop reading my mind!
She smiled sweetly at my mental rebuke, and I blushed, realizing the absurdity of my request. Things had worked out for the better. If Dad had gotten a call from that teacher about me fighting, the summer would have been over for me. Now I was free and clear. It was almost like I'd taken another final exam, and passed with flying colors.
I shuffled a little, then looked back up into her eyes.
Thank you, I guess. For reminding me.
It was no problem. A friend does that for another friend.
A summer breeze lifted her hair and tossed it out playfully, a banner of crimson silk. I was lost in her eyes, drinking her in, when the clock tower began to chime the quarter-hour.
"Oh damn," I said out loud, startled. "My sister! I have to go pick her up."
She inclined her head a tiny bit.
"Naturally. Congratulations on finishing your tests, Touya. All of them."
I paused midstep and looked back over my shoulder.
"Will I see you? Over the summer?" Those comments she'd made in math class came back to me, nagging at me. She gave a little shrug.
"Who knows? Only time will tell."
- - - - - - - - - -
Sakura was so thrilled, she was jumping up and down in her chair that night at dinner. Dad had to ask her to sit still about three times before she finally dug into her food.
"Yay! It's summer! It's summer! It's summer!"
"I know, sweetie, but you still have to eat. Calm down and have a bite." She subsided at last and gulped a mouthful of noodles. "So what are you going to do with all your free time?"
"I'm gonna practice! I'm gonna learn to twirl the baton and do flips like the girls in the cheerleading club do! Then next year I can be one."
"Good plan," he said approvingly. "Touya knows how to do some of those things. I'm sure he'll be happy to help you. Won't you, Touya-kun?"
I looked up and flashed a quick insincere smile before refocusing on my food. My dad constantly volunteers me for helping her out with her homework and stuff like this. It drives me berserk. As if I don't have anything else to do with my free time.
"And what do you intend to do with your vacation?"
I shrugged.
"Mm-hmm. That's what I thought." I bristled, but he continued on undaunted. "I actually have something in mind for you, Touya-kun."
"Oh, really?"
"My office at the school is already overflowing with books, and the department's getting ready to throw another few boxes out. I couldn't bear the thought of it, so I'm going to bring them home. Only, there's no place to put them here."
I couldn't see at all where this was going. Curiously, I remained silent.
"I was thinking about converting that empty basement into a study, some place quiet that I could work at home. And I'd like to put up some bookshelves. I don't know anything about assembling stuff like that, but you're quite good at it, as I recall."
That was true, I am good at building things. Engineering and construction are really easy for me.
"You want slave labor."
He smiled patiently. "Hardly. I thought it might be a fun project for you. It would keep you occupied."
Translation: Otherwise you'll go running around town at nights and starting fights. Something has got to keep you indoors, and it might as well be this.
"I could even help you on weekends, if you're willing. It could be something we could do together."
There was a flicker of hope in those eyes, and inwardly I groaned. So that's what he was after – a father and son type activity. I should have known.
"You don't have to roll your eyes like that," he admonished. "I think it'll be fun for you. It'll be nice for you to have a productive project – like your sister."
There. He'd said them: those three words that I dreaded. I slapped my chopsticks down on the plate and stood.
"Where are you going?"
"I've lost my appetite. I'll be upstairs." I was exhausted and irritable after a week of studying for my exams, and he hadn't even asked me how I'd done on them. I was also tired and on edge after my non-fight with Ryu, and didn't feel up to any more soul searching that evening. I only wanted relaxation and peace.
He called out my name once more, but I ignored him. Instead I stomped into my room, locked the door behind me, and selected a CD.
Eventually I heard a soft knocking on my door, and his voice, asking something. I filtered it out, and turned up the volume. All I wanted to hear right then was Metallica.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - -
I don't remember falling asleep, but I suppose I must have. The bright sunshine through my window was what finally woke me, its persistent light rousing me. I yawned and sat up, rubbing my eyes, still dressed in my jeans and T-shirt.
It's a wonderful luxury to sleep in on the first day of summer vacation. There's nothing like it in the world. But it had been a long time since that happened. Why did Dad let me sleep in?
I turned off the stereo and left my room, stretching.
"Sakura?" No reply. "Sakura, are you here?"
Dad would have no doubt left for work by now, but where was she? I felt a twinge of worry as I searched the empty house. Would she have gone wandering off on her own?
"Sakura!"
Worry was about to develop into anxiety when I caught sight of her through the front window. She was practicing her cartwheels on the grass, her face in a little pout of concentration. Relieved, I opened the door and leaned against the frame.
"There you are. What are you doing?"
"Practicing!" she chirped. "Boy, you've been in bed a long time, you lazy-head. I had breakfast practically forever ago."
I ignored her tortured grammar and sat on the edge of the porch, watching her attempt another somersault.
"You've been out here alone all morning? Why didn't Dad wake me up?"
"Dad said to let you sleep in. He said you have tissues."
"I think you mean 'issues'," I corrected with a wry grin. She looked a little puzzled, but her young mind didn't grasp the meaning of the word. Instead she tried to bend over backward and place her hands on the grass. She couldn't quite accomplish this and ended up collapsing on the ground. I chuckled.
"Stop laughing!"
"Can't help myself, you're too funny."
"I'm trying!"
"I know it." There was nothing to be done about it, I could see. Somebody would have to show her. "C'mon, get up again. I'll help."
Her little angry face split into a delighted grin.
"Really? You'll show me how?"
"Sure, why not?" I knelt on one knee and positioned her to my side. "Now bend over backward. I'll keep you steady and then flip you over. This will help you learn how to do it on your own."
She obeyed my instructions carefully, and her feet went right up and over to land on the grass again. Shaking her wispy bangs out of her eyes, she beamed at me and attacked me with a bear hug. Down on one knee, I didn't have a chance to fend her off.
"No, hey, stop that!" Already I could feel my heart beating faster and my breath catching in my throat. "Get off, you little monster." After what seemed an age she disentangled herself from me, smiling persistently.
"You're the best!" she declared. "Will you help me again?"
I could not look into her eyes, and stared at the ground at her feet.
"Sure."
"Goody!"
It happened again. Why did my body always insist on reacting like that to her touch? It was just a hug, and there wasn't even anyone else around. Did I really despise her that much? It wasn't her fault that she couldn't remember Mom's death.
She doesn't deserve the treatment I give her. But I can't help it. It's just the way things are.
I spent the whole morning coaching her, and by the time we broke for lunch she could do the standing back handspring by herself. I don't know why I spent so much time helping her. I suppose it was penance, in a way. Like it could make up for the way I feel about her.
"Can we go to the park today? Please?"
"What?"
"Dad said I could go to the park to see my friends if you came too. Please?" She leaned over her lunch and fixed me with those pleading green eyes of hers.
I shrugged. It really wasn't as if I had anything else to do. I could get started on my summer homework, and at least get that out of the way.
"I guess so. Let me get my walkman and my book."
"Yay!"
It was the way of every vacation, had been ever since I was nine years old. Dad was at work, and Sakura needed to be watched. Every day. All day. He doesn't ask me to do it, he expects me to do it.
Sometimes I resent my sister so much.
"Tomoyo-chan!" she squealed, and skipped ahead of me to greet one of her little friends in the park. There was a cluster of girls there already, and they all shouted Sakura's name in delight. I reclined on a bench and turned down the music, opening up my assigned reading.
And then there's the way she's so good at making friends. It's easy for her, with her infectious smile and continuous laughter. She's so damn happy.
Again my father's words nagged at me. Like your sister. Like your sister.
Why can't you be more like your sister?
I hate her but I envy her. It's a ridiculous situation.
You torment yourself so much more than is necessary.
Startled, I glanced up from my book. She was all the way on the other side of the park, watching me. For once she was wearing neither a suit nor a kimono, but, as a concession to summer, a loose white cotton blouse and long khaki skirt.
Do you mind? I asked crossly. My thoughts are private.
Your thoughts are driving you to distraction. Yesterday you refrained from striking back physically at your opponent. And now today you insist on striking at yourself, determined to dwell on all things painful and unpleasant.
Pink Floyd was still playing through my headphones, an eerie accompaniment to this silent conversation.
It's all your fault, I pointed out. You're the one that asked me to think back and start remembering. The gate's been opened. After four years of shutting her away from my mind, it's starting to come back. And no, it's not pleasant.
Hard work rarely is. But that's no reason to sit and fume about your sister, not on a day like today.
She tilted her face up to enjoy the afternoon sunshine and sighed contentedly. She was so far away, but I could swear I saw the lift and fall of her breasts. The blouse she wore did not quite reach her waist, and my eyes traveled down the bare skin of her flat stomach. Her long skirt rested easily on her hips, covering her legs down to her ankles – minus the long slit on either side.
Her laugh sparkled in my mind.
That's more like it. Relax and enjoy yourself, Touya. You should learn to sit back and appreciate the beautiful moments in life.
'Like my sister?'
I won't say that. She is who she is; you are who you are. But you are not doomed to a life of misery simply because you can remember your mother and she cannot. Would your mother want you to be miserable on the first day of summer?
I shuffled a little.
No, of course not.
Good. I'm glad we agree. She blew me a little kiss over the heads of my sister and her friends. Do have a nice day today, Touya.
She turned and wandered off, disappearing behind the small woods. And for the first time that day, I smiled.
"Are you happy?"
"What?"
"Are you happy, Onii-chan?" Sakura nestled up on the bench next to me and gazed up into my face. "You've got a smile on!" She looked so amazed that it was all I could do not to laugh out loud.
How strange… this woman had indeed provoked me into smiling again. Just seeing her, hearing her voice inside my head, being near her did it. She had the power to make me happy. So few things in life did that for me.
"Guess I am," I mused, and ruffled her pigtails playfully. She squealed and wriggled off the bench again to rejoin her friends. I turned up the music.
- - - - - - - - - -
It was a pretty nice day, I'll admit. I spent the rest of the afternoon reading while Sakura ran herself ragged on the playground. Eventually the sun began to drop and all her friends filtered away. Tired but content, she flopped down on the grass at my feet.
"That was so much fun, Onii-chan! I promised my friends that I would come every day over the summer. I can come, right? You'll bring me every day, right?"
My first impulse was to give a derisive snort. Then I reconsidered. It wasn't as if I had anything else to do in the afternoons. And this book was getting pretty good. I hadn't been very enthusiastic when I found out we were assigned an American novel for our lit class, but it was drawing me in.
"Well, that depends, I suppose."
"On what?"
"On whether you help me wash the dishes after dinner." Might as well get something out of it, right?
"Really? If I help, you'll let me come play? Will you help me with my gymnastics, too?"
"I'll think about it. Come on, let's get home. I gotta start dinner. And we still have to go do one errand."
"What's that?" I had to pull her to her feet, she looked so tired. I half considered carrying her on my back, then lost my nerve. Maybe Kaho had put me in a better mood, but there were still limits.
"You'll see."
She was tired, but she managed to keep pace with my long strides as I made my way to the hardware store. By the time we got home, her eyes were half closed and I sent her up to take her bath while I started dinner. Dad arrived, and we ate. It was almost quiet without her persistent chatter, Sakura being too tired to talk much. She did manage to reply to Dad's queries that she had indeed had a good day, and that her big brother had helped her learn to do a handspring, and taken her to the park.
He stopped, his chopsticks midway to his mouth.
"He did?"
"Yup," she answered happily, not paying attention to the way he was looking at me, or the way I was returning his stare. "And then we went to the store and bought wood!"
"Bought wood?" he repeated carefully, still looking in my direction. I shrugged nonchalantly.
"Yeah. They'll deliver it tomorrow morning. If you want the shelves at any certain height, be sure and give me the specs. I'll probably get started on them the day after tomorrow."
"Oh." He looked so dazed that I was tempted to laugh out loud again. If only he knew the reason…
I finished and stood up.
"I'm done. You don't mind washing up, do you Dad? I'd like to take a walk."
All he could do was nod silently, still too surprised to even speak. I had to hide my grin as I found my shoes and left the house.
- - - - - - - - -
In mid-July, the sky never really gets dark at night. Instead, it becomes this unreal shade of royal purple and black blended together. Mankind has yet to successfully imitate it, a fact for which I am extremely grateful. For those of us who like to wander out on a midsummer's night, that shade is special and unique. As I walked, more and more stars began to appear. The moon was a thin crescent tonight, hinting at things to come.
Jeez, what's with me tonight? Why am I looking up at the sky with all these mushy thoughts running through my mind? This isn't me. I'm tough. I'm strong. I'm a fighter.
Don't forget moody, silent, and rebellious.
I turned at her voice in my mind. A breeze stirred the leaves of the shrine trees, teasing her hair.
You made me smile today.
I didn't make you; you did that on your own.
It's because of you. I was actually in a good mood today, and it's because you came to see me.
She didn't respond to that, and just smiled with a tiny shrug.
No one's been able to do that for me since… since before. No one's been able to reach me. I know you know this already.
Yes.
You convinced me not to fight Ryu, and you cheered me up about Sakura. How do you have this power over me? Why do I listen to you when I haven't listened to anyone in four years?
Attraction has many interesting side effects.
My thoughts scattered at that statement, and dumbly I watched her wander close to the old cherry tree, then lean back against its trunk. Attraction?
Do you fear this power, or do you like it? she asked.
A good question, and uncertainly I paced back and forth before her. I knew she could hear my thoughts, but they raced ahead anyway, tumbling over one another in an effort to claim priority. I had been very careful, these past four years. I'd walled myself off, keeping myself separate from the reality that governed the rest of the world. My own father - I had forced a divide between us that could probably never be totally healed. I could hardly stand to touch my own sister. Those outside my family were even more alien; existing in a kaleidoscope of blurry faces and names. None of them mattered.
I lived in my own world, seeing things that no one else could and thinking dark thoughts no one else dared. I was safe there, in my own world; no one could hurt me.
But this mysterious woman, this vision with hair like the sunset, had walked through the gate effortlessly. She had invaded my world, and she had a power over me. Therefore, she was something to fear.
She gave no indication that she knew what was going on in my head, and waited patiently.
And yet, by her very presence, my world had been disrupted. There was a void now, an emptiness that my melancholy rock n'roll could no longer fill. I hadn't tried to put words to it, but I knew what it was. Loneliness. Behind all the attitude, after all this time, I was desperately and achingly lonely. The time had come to let someone in.
Before my thoughts had even run their full course, I was drawing closer, pulled inexorably by her powerful magnetism. When I was standing just a breath away, I paused.
"I really want to kiss you right now," I said aloud. I had to say that out loud. I needed to hear myself say the words.
She said nothing, acceptance clear enough in her eyes. Nervously I placed my hands against the rough bark on either side of her head. I'd never kissed anyone before. And she was so much older than I was, so much more experienced, not to mention beautiful…
But the cravings in my body wouldn't be denied, and I placed my mouth directly on hers. Her lips were warm and soft, inviting me in. I responded to that invitation and parted her lips with my tongue. And this was truly exquisite, to probe her mouth and press even harder. I knew I might be coming on a little strong, but I couldn't help it. The relief of finding someone to connect with after all this time had broken the dam, and my emotions were flooding me, lending strength to the kiss. It didn't matter. She was strong enough to take it; more than anyone else she was prepared to handle the force.
I kissed her a lot after that, my hands leaving the tree to run through her hair, and then travel down her body until they were resting on her hips. The soft skin and feminine curves of her body were driving me to a frenzy. I wanted her so much, and I pushed even harder. She never held back, just let me taste and taste until finally I declared an end to the session by pulling away and resting my forehead against hers.
Our shallow breathing was a roar in each other's ears.
"I think," she whispered, "it's going to be a really good summer."
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Disclaimer: I do not own these characters