Chapter 12

'different drum'

On a cloud of sound I drift in the night,

Every place she goes is right.

Flies far, flies near,

to the stars away from here.

Well, you don't know what

we can find.

Why don't you come with me, little girl,

on a magic carpet ride?

I left Sakura practicing with her baton on the side of the field and crossed over to where the rest of the boys were waiting.  School didn't begin for another couple of weeks, but all those angling for a spot in the junior varsity soccer team at Seijou were here to try out.  The high school field was a lot nicer than the junior high one, with larger and fancier bleachers.  The players' benches were nicer too.  I watched as Ryu put his hands against the shoulders of a thin boy that I vaguely recognized, and push.  His victim toppled right over that bench, his feet flying up in the air.  The others gathered around gave a snicker.

"…think you can waltz up and try to play with us?" he was saying as I drew closer.  "Get out of here, fag, go home."

"Is there a problem here?" I inquired icily.  Startled, everyone looked my way, and most of the guys shuffled and looked away.  Ryu glowered in my direction.

"This don't concern you, Kinomoto.  Back off."

"It concerns me when you start pushing around my future teammates.  He won't be much help in the game if you start cracking his skull now, you know."

The boy on the ground stood warily, momentarily grateful for my intervention.  But he looked humiliated at Ryu's next words.

"We don't need him in the game," he scoffed.  "Fag-boy here left the team when he turned gay last year.  Now he thinks he can try out again here.  As if any of us want to be playing with that."

"Right," I drawled.  "He 'left' the team.  Don't suppose you had anything to do with that."

"What do you care, Kinomoto?  Want to get in his pants?"

There were a couple more snickers in our audience, but I paid no attention.  It wasn't that I cared about this particular kid, or his sexuality.  It was just that I'd be damned if I let Ryu throw his weight around on this team.

"Not at all, Ryu.  I'm perfectly comfortable with my sexuality.  Unlike, apparently, you."  There were a few jeers from the other guys, and I gave him a relaxed smile.  His face was starting to turn red again, and I left my hands out of my pockets but unclenched.  "What's the matter, Kei not giving it up as much as she's rumored to?"

I heard a few snorts of laughter from the watchers before he swung at me and I ducked.  It was easy as anything to turn the crowd against him, which had been my primary goal.

"Not again," he grunted.  "Stand still and fight, damn it!  Can't you take a punch?"

Again I evaded one of his wild strikes, mindful of the fact that Sakura could see, if not hear, everything that was going on.

"Absolutely, Ryu.  But I don't have to fight you to prove that I'm better than you."  I could feel the surprise from the group, and felt a touch of pride at the words.  I'd come a long way this past year.  He just snarled and leapt at me again, but I darted to the side and held out my foot.  He tripped and went sprawling in the muddy grass, and everyone laughed.  I backed away and nodded to the kid he'd been harassing, who smiled bashfully. 

It is a curious truth of human nature that while individuals are set in their ways and difficult to persuade, crowds are quite fickle and easily distracted.  With Ryu taken down, none of them were much inclined to bother 'the fag', especially since I'd made it clear that I wouldn't tolerate it.  Maybe they still didn't know if I was the strongest, but they regarded me with a healthy respect.  At the very least, he'd be able to try out.

"All right, all right," puffed an older man, making his way to the bench.  "Whatever it is, break it up.  Don't care, don't want to know, don't want anybody injured before I have a chance to work you to death on the field.  I assume you losers are here to try out for the Seijou JV team.  If you're here for an offense position, sit over there; defense, over there.  Today, kids.  Let's move!"

Well, the coach seemed like a no-nonsense type, at least.  I took a seat on the bench not too far from a darkly glaring and rather muddy Ryu.  How very amusing, that he called my hetero status into question.  I smiled, indulging my memory as I recalled my tryst with Kaho the evening before.  Going down on her had proved to be the headiest experience yet, taking me to a new height of pleasure even as it left my body aching to go further.  It had certainly taken me a while, but I was beginning to notice the pattern.  Every time I made some kind of emotional breakthrough, she let me go a step further.  That was part disturbing, part exciting.  Disturbing in that she was using my hormones as an incentive to overcome life's problems, and exciting in that one day she might allow me to lose my virginity to her.  Although what might lie between now and that distant day, I couldn't guess.  I had conquered my urge to fight, and resolved my differences with both parents, dead and alive.  What could possibly be left?

"You.  What's your name?"

"Kinomoto, sir."

"Position?"

"Right forward, sir."

"Get yourself out on that field already then.  Let's see what you rejects have got."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"New building," Aki announced dismally when he found me in the hallways.  "Same old gulag."

"Mm."

"How was spring break?  Have a good time?"

"It was all right."

"At least we didn't have homework this time around.  Jeez, and speaking of classwork, what do you think of that corpse of a geometry teacher that we have?  God, I'm going to miss Mizuki."  He sighed and ran his fingers through his scruffy hair.  "Talk about gorgeous."

I said nothing, but allowed myself a tiny smile. 

"Ah, hello," said a new voice shyly.  Ryu's would-be victim had fallen in alongside, and smiled timidly, as if expecting to be told to get lost. 

"Hey," I said casually.  "Nice catch the other day.  Congrats."

"Arigatou.  Sorry that I stopped your shot, but I had to give it my all."

"Not a problem."  I'd made starting right forward, and that was all that mattered.  "I never would have thought you were the goalie type."

He was quite thin, but fast enough that it didn't matter.  Hardly a single shot had made it past him through all the tryouts.  He was obviously a valuable addition to the team, and Ryu was having trouble stirring up opposition to him.

"Yeah, well, thank my older brothers for tormenting me when I was a kid.  I learned to catch missiles headed my way when I was pretty young.  Ah… Kinomoto, I just wanted to thank you for what you did that day."

"-t's no big deal.  Tsujitane, right?"

"Hai.  And it is a big deal, at least to me.  I love soccer, and if you hadn't shown when you did, they would have never even given me a chance.  Thanks."

I just shrugged as we left the high school building and made our way down the front steps.  Almost a full year had gone by since my arrival in Tomoeda, and now the cherry trees were blooming again, waving their pink blossoms against the blue spring sky. 

"That's Kinomoto, all right," Aki agreed cheerfully.  "Everyone's knight in shining armor.  He's really a softie, behind the dark glares and the -"

"Shut it, Aki."

"Right."  He flashed another grin as he started rooting through his backpack.  "Want one?"  He produced a dog-eared pack of cigarettes and his favorite lighter.  For a moment I was tempted.  The few that I'd indulged myself with back in February had been relaxing, but I no longer needed them.  I hadn't even considered it over spring vacation.  And besides, with the season starting up again, I was in training.

"No thanks."

"Suit yourself."  He lit one and inhaled gratefully before blowing a cloud of smoke in my face.  "Well, it's the first day of ninth grade, and naturally we already have a ton of homework to do. I'm gonna go home, ignore it, and watch TV instead.  See you later."

"Bye."  I punched Tsujitane lightly on the arm.  "And hey.  Don't let anybody smack you around because you're different.  Ne?"

He nodded.

"Hai."  I turned to go pick up Sakura, and caught sight of Ryu glaring from the front steps of the school.  I smirked before turning my back and leaving.  I was in a good mood.  Spring was here, the warm weather and prospect of soccer matches returning, and once again I'd managed to trounce Ryu without throwing a single punch.  I was starting to think he'd never be able to provoke me again.

"Oniiiii-chan!"  She pounced on me, provoking a grunt of pain, then started jumping up and down.  "Third grade is so neat!  I love it!  And I signed up to join the cheerleading club!  I'll get my new uniform this Friday!  Isn't that great?  Isn't that great?"

"I've asked you a thousand times to not do that," I remonstrated, prying her off of me.  "Especially in public!"

"But -"

"Yes, yes, I'm very happy for you.  Now please let me breathe.  Jeez, you're an absolute monster."

And for that she connected her foot to my shin, making me groan again.  For such a little thing, she's got a pretty strong kick.

"Don't call me that!"

"I will call you whatever I want.  Come on."  I pushed her slightly ahead of me, so she wouldn't be tempted to try and hold my hand, and we made for home.  She was in rapture, holding out her arms above her head and twirling under the flying petals.

"Come on, slowpoke," she chided.  "I wanna get home!"

I had nothing to look forward to but a pile of homework, but she had a much better prize in store.  Her recently acquired birthday present from Dad, that she'd been practicing with every day.  Frankly, I thought it was a miracle that she hadn't injured herself yet, but didn't say a thing as she dumped her bag on the porch and began to pull on her new rollerblades.

"I'm gonna go practice some more while it's still light!  I'm getting so much better!  I can almost stop all on my own!"

"Almost, huh?  Be sure and wear those safety pads."

"I will!  Ja ne!"  She shot out of our driveway at a dangerous speed, and I frowned momentarily before entering the house.  While it was all well and good that her new blades were keeping her occupied and away from me, did Dad have to get her something so potentially lethal?  I knew far better than he how klutzy she could get, despite all the lessons in gymnastics. 

I shrugged off my concern as I started to unbutton my new high school shirt upstairs.  The weather was becoming nicer and nicer each day, and that meant I could look forward to the evenings once more.

- - - - - -

After I'd finished, I wiped my mouth and sat back up to hold her in my arms.  We were leaning, relaxed in the grass, against the trunk of an out-of-the-way tree and watching the cherry blossoms fly around in the night sky.  The main tree, our tree, was especially abloom and bursting with flowers.  A tiny sigh escaped her lips as she gazed up at it, and I kissed her gently on her cheek.

"How was your first day of high school?"

"Okay."  I shrugged.  "Won't be any challenge. I can tell already.  Same mindless homework, same sheep students flocking in the halls, same drone teachers – well, almost the same.  I do miss you."

She smiled.

"It feels strange not being in your class anymore.  Nothing's going to change between us because of that, right?"

She gave a short laugh and entwined her fingers with mine.

"Nothing's going to change just because you're in high school now."  A tiny bit of emphasis on the 'just because' made me frown, but before I could say anything she spoke up again.  "And it's hardly accurate to categorize your fellow students as sheep, I think.  You made a new friend today."

"Not really.  He's just the goalie on our team.  It was a chance to take Ryu down a notch, that's all."

"Maybe, but you reached out and helped him anyway, at some personal risk to yourself.  Perhaps it was because you cared?"

"Ridiculous," I scoffed.  "I barely know him.  I don't care at all."

"Mm.  It's not very easy for you, is it?"

"What?"

"To reach out and connect with others."

"To borrow a popular teenage expression, 'duh.'  I'm different than all the others at that school.  Always have been.  You know my own parents were frightened of me when I was just a baby?  I've always marched to the beat of a different drum."

"It's true you're not like the rest of them.  Neither of us are.  But that's never a reason to disdain them completely.  Isn't it lonely?"

"How could I be lonely when I've got you?"  I brought her hand to my lips and kissed it lightly.  "Why should I care about anyone else?"

She was disturbingly silent at that, and rested her head against my shoulder. 

"I mean, you'll always be with me, right?"

"I will always love you, Touya," she said firmly and without a trace of hesitation.  But she hadn't really answered my question.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

The warm weather waxed and the cherry blossoms waned as spring went by.  Classes at Seijou were slightly more difficult, and the coach of our soccer team very demanding.  I fell into the pattern of studying and training as the season progressed.  It was hard work but I enjoyed it, draining off my excess energy at practice and our weekly games.  Fresh green leaves had begun to replace the pink petals on the cherry trees by the time Sakura had her first chance to perform.

The sunlight sparkled on the silver batons as they went flying into the air, and then the girls held out their hands to catch them.  Miraculously, Sakura caught it perfectly, and she spun in sync with the others.  True to my word, I was here to watch, even though I felt conspicuously out of place with the crowd of adoring parents.  Dad was held up at work, naturally.

"Stupid camera," I muttered.  "How can the damn batteries be out at a time like this?"  I rapped it sharply, as if that would help.

"It's all right," said someone else, and I noticed one of her little friends standing next to me, studiously tracking Sakura with her camcorder.  I was seated on the grass, but she was so short that we were almost level with each other.  Whoops.  I hadn't meant to swear in front of her, but she didn't seem to care.  "You can have a copy of this."

"You're pretty young to be toting a camera around.  Are your parents okay with that?"

She turned slightly to smile in my direction, without disturbing the camera.

"My mom says it's good to encourage my hobbies.  It was my Christmas present."

"You've got a pretty nice mom."

"I know."  She sighed as she returned her attention to the cheerleaders.  "Doesn't Sakura-chan look cute out there?  You're so lucky that you get to take care of her."

Yep, there was definitely something screwy with this girl.

"I don't have a choice, you know.  I have to baby-sit."

She said nothing at that, but darted another knowing smile in my direction.  And for some reason, the eyes of this third-grader left me seriously disconcerted.  Almost guilty.  Hastily I returned my gaze to the girls dancing in front us.  The batons were down now, and Sakura executed a back flip with the other girls.  She was using the moves I'd taught her, eyes sparkling with excitement and a smile that outshone all the others'.  It was plain to see she was in her element.

Maybe I'd accepted that Mom and Dad meant to have a daughter like her, while they'd never expected someone like me.  But that didn't mean I didn't feel the burn in my chest while I watched her at stuff like this.  She was eternally carefree and always surrounded by friends, things that I would never be.  Even after everything I'd been through, it was still hard not to resent her.  She made things so difficult.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"Impossible," Aki muttered, scanning the assignment as we left grammar class.  "I'll never be able to get all this done over the weekend!  Does she think we're machines?"

"Don't exaggerate.  It's not that bad."

"Hmpf."  He blew his bangs out of his eyes in irritation.  "The old crone probably doesn't even care about the spring dance tonight.  How about you, Kinomoto?  Gonna go?"

I gave him a withering look, and he raised his hands in surrender.

"Right, right, stupid question.  Just thought I'd ask.  It's tonight in the gym, in case you're interested."

"I'm not."

"Your loss."  I stopped by my locker, and he turned around and walked backwards to address me.  "But you could give it a shot, if you don't have anything better to do.  It's not like it'd kill you."

"And there's the rub," I answered easily, twirling my combination.  "Literally.  I do have something better to do."

He cocked his head quizzically, but I only smiled before turning my attention to my books.  I wouldn't be explaining anytime soon, but I wasn't about to give up my evening with her for anything.

- - - - - - -

"Say what?"  I gaped at her in astonishment, but her brown eyes were untroubled as she smiled sweetly in the glow of late afternoon sunlight.  "What do you mean, not tonight?"

At Seijou, the JV team played on Friday nights, and the varsity team played on Saturdays.  All JV players were required to attend.  I'd already picked up Sakura, and she was in the bleachers studying the cheerleaders as the game began.  It hadn't been long before I spotted Kaho watching me from the ground, and went to join her. 

"I mean, I have other obligations."

"Like what?"

"Your dance tonight."

"My dance?  That's not 'my dance.'  What are you talking about?"

"A teacher had to cancel at the last moment, and they were desperate.  They had to call the junior high to find a replacement, and I volunteered.  I'll be chaperoning."

"Chaperoning?" I spluttered.  "That pathetic excuse for a social event?  Why on earth would you volunteer to spend an evening with that group?"

"That group is made up of your peers, Touya.  I should have thought you might be happy to spend an evening with them for once.  Don't you think it might be fun?"

I raked my fingers through my hair as the crowd above us erupted in cheers.  Our team must have scored, but I was too distracted to care.

"I don't believe this.  First Dad, now you.  I thought you understood me.  You know that I don't fit in with them."  I waved a hand in the direction of my classmates with a disparaging air.  "I'll never be normal like my sister."

She'd crossed her arms, but I thought I saw her try to smother a giggle.

"Did I say something funny?"

"Not at all, Touya.  I know you're different.  You were born with abilities that set you apart.  But it's unhealthy to closet yourself away from your fellow human beings.  You might miss out of something interesting that way."

"Not likely."

"I'm different from others too.  And I'm going."

"I can't believe you're abandoning me like this!"

"I'm not abandoning you.  I'm offering you a choice.  But you're the one that needs to make it."  She gave me one last enigmatic smile before turning on her heels and leaving for the junior high parking lot. 

"You can't do this to me," I called out to her retreating form.  "You can't manipulate me into this."

She did not turn or reply, and I gave a disgusted groan before returning to my place in the bleachers.  How could she, of all people, be pressing me into something like this?  Just when you think you know a person…

"There you are!"  Sakura bounced a little when I sat back down.  "We scored a goal!  And I jumped up and did a cheer!  You missed it!"

"Thank goodness for small favors," I muttered too low for her to hear.  I was feeling irritable and grouchy, and completely unable to focus on the game after that.  I sulked all the way through it, and walking home, and through dinner.  When Sakura went to go take her bath and Dad pulled out some papers to grade, I retreated to my bedroom and threw myself on the bed.

Who does she think she is?  I scowled at my ceiling.  She's always controlling everything in our relationship.  Always dropping those mysterious hints, always holding things back and keeping secrets.  Now she thinks she can make me do the one thing I dread more than anything – interact with my fellow students.  I'll have conversations with the dead people in our house, but I won't do that, thank you very much.  Maybe I have people I talk with in the halls, Aki, my teammates and so on, but that's just because I'm there.  To go spend time with them voluntarily?  Yeah, right.  So why am I still dwelling on it?  Why aren't I flipping on my stereo and getting to work on my homework like I should be?

I can do it tomorrow.  I don't feel like working on grammar or math tonight.  But then what am I going to do?  I feel restless. 

I rolled over onto my side and glared at the fading light outside my window.  I never went out on the weekends, I had always been perfectly content to come straight home and then visit the shrine later.  Hanging out with the people my age had never been appealing.  I had nothing in common with them.

Or did I?  Maybe I wasn't gay, but I had something in common with our goalie.  I knew what it was like to be different, and to not be accepted.  And like Aki, I was impatient with the rigid guidelines of our teachers and annoyed by the abundance of rules. 

Maybe I saw 'things' that most people would never understand, but I guess everyone knows what it's like not to fit in exactly. 

"What is it you want?" I muttered into my pillow.  "You sought me out because I was different, now you want me to be normal?  I don't want to be normal."

But then, she hadn't said she wanted me to be normal.  She only said she wanted me to have fun.  Would it kill me to have fun, for once? 

- - - - - - -

"Bye, Dad," I said briskly, striding through the kitchen.  His back was turned as he pored over his papers at the table.  "Don't wait up.  I'm going to the spring dance."

"Very funny, Touya-kun," I heard him murmur before pulling on my shoes and leaving the house.  The May evening air was warm and inviting, and I set a leisurely pace for my school.  No doubt it had begun some while before, but there was no hurry. 

Things were in full swing as I entered the doors, and for a moment I almost turned around and bolted.  Everywhere, people were smiling and laughing, gathered in small groups around the floor or dancing.  This was not at all my element, and I took a step back. 

"My eyes must be deceiving me.  Kinomoto never mentioned he had a twin brother!"  Aki, his arm draped around some girl, was staring at me in utter astonishment.

"Please don't start, Aki.  I don't know why I'm here either."

"Well, it's very nice to have you here," he said in a courtly manner.  "Even if it will cause several heart attacks.  Looking dapper, by the way."

"Ha, ha."  As a concession to the idea of a dance, I was in black jeans instead of blue, and wearing doc martens in place of my sneakers.  But the docs were unlaced and I hadn't bothered to wear a tie or jacket, leaving the top few buttons of my white shirt undone.  That didn't seem to affect his girlfriend any as she stared at me adoringly.

"Yoko?  Hello?"  Aki had to clear his throat a little before she turned her head to look at him.  "Ahem.  I see that I need to get you away from the tall, dark and handsome one before I find myself suddenly single for the evening.  Ja ne, Kinomoto."  And with that he steered his date firmly away.

"But wait, I -"  My shoulders slumped a little as he departed, leaving me alone once more.  Feeling vulnerable, I stuffed my hands in my pockets and leaned against the wall.  It was a while before I felt her gaze, but when I did I looked up.  She was some ways away from me, almost hidden in the dim light and the crowd, but simply beaming.

See? I muttered defensively.  I'm not afraid to come.  I'm not afraid of anything.

I never said you were.

But if you think I'm going to have fun, you're out of your mind.  This is so not my scene.

Since you've never come before, how would you know?

I just do.

Perhaps you'll make it your scene.

One of the other teachers approached her at that moment, and she turned to speak to him.  I hmpfed a little, and muttered "yeah, right" under my breath.  This caused someone standing next to me to give me an odd look, and I blushed.  I'd grown so used to our silent conversations that I sometimes forgot about my surroundings, and I quickly escaped to another part of the gym.  The last thing I needed was to be seen talking to myself.

Loud and irritating pop music grated my ears as I leaned over and fished a bottle of coke from the ice bucket.  Maybe if the music wasn't so bad… and if I could dance with her instead of being forced to maintain the distance between us… maybe then this wouldn't be so awful.  What on earth was I supposed to do with myself?

"Imagine seeing you here," someone purred, and I almost choked on my first sip.  Kei, looking voluptuous in a low-cut scarlet minidress, posed in front of me and smiled.  "I didn't think you were the type to come to these events."

"And you were right."  I turned to escape before she could start pawing me, but there was a knot of people blocking my way.  I was trapped between her and the wall.  "Where's the master of chivalry tonight?"

She looked a little surprised that I'd asked, then she shrugged.

"Out back sneaking sips from a flask with his friends."

"Not much for dancing?" I asked sarcastically, and she gave a short laugh.

"Ryu Migake, dancing?  Not likely."

It crossed my mind that for all her looks and supposed popularity, she was alone in the crowd too.  Something from my thoughts earlier in the evening nagged at me, and I leaned against the wall.

"Where's Daddy?"

"Huh?"  She looked startled, but I just gave her a calculating look before taking another gulp from my drink.  Maybe it was just because I had nowhere else to go and no one else to really talk to, but something compelled me to stay. 

"Look at you, Kei."  I'd never addressed her by her name before, and she stared at me.  "You're all dressed up and ready to have fun, but you're sitting on the sidelines with the rest of the outcasts in this school.  He's your date and he's not even with you.  I almost never see you with Ryu; he completely ignores you at school.  He abuses you, and you seem to like it.  Clearly you're used to it.  So I'll ask again: where's Daddy?"

"Uh…"  She looked a little nonplussed, and I was surprised at my own words as well.  I couldn't think why I was starting this, but I'd come this far already.  "He left my mom a few years ago.  How did you know to ask?"

I shrugged.  I was thinking about how I'd been attracted to an older woman, with my mother gone from this world.  Seeking to replace a parent.  Maybe I had even more in common with my peers than I'd thought. 

"Just had a feeling.  Just because your dad ran out on you doesn't mean you have to date jerks like Ryu, you know."

"But… he loves me."

"Sure.  That's why you spend all your time flirting with every other guy in the school?  You must have figured out that's the only way to get any attention from him."  She hugged her arms to her chest, clearly feeling exposed.  I knew I was on the right track.  "He treats you like absolute crap, Kei.  And so do I.  But you can't seem to get enough of either of us.  Why don't you try being with someone that actually appreciates you?  Likes to talk to you, maybe?"

"There's no one like that," she said softly, as I took another sip. 

"That's not true.  And even if it was, forget about having a boyfriend then.  You should try being single for once.  It's not so bad as you might think."

"I don't think so," she scorned, though there was a flicker of hesitation in her eyes.  "You're nothing unless you have a boyfriend.  You're just… nothing."

"Does it bother you that much what everybody thinks?"

"Well, no – I don't know."

"It's not so hard to do things out of the ordinary.  I managed to drag myself here tonight, didn't I?"  She eyed me uncertainly, obviously unsure of what was happening here.  She'd no doubt only been expecting to be rejected again when she approached me.  Neither of us had expected this conversation, but it felt right to be talking like this.

"Why are you here?  Why are you doing this?" 

The current song ended, and unbelievably enough, a decent song started playing.  I chuckled to myself as I leaned my head back against the wall.  Had our mysterious chaperone had a hand in that?  How did she know so much?

"I was dared to," I answered cryptically.  "And am finding out that it wasn't quite so bad as I'd thought it'd be.  Fun, even."  My body didn't seem to belong to me anymore, as I reached forward and tapped her lightly on her nose.  "Welcome to doing things that the world doesn't expect you to do.  Shall we?"

"Shall we what?"

But her hand was already in mine, as I gently tugged her through the crowd and onto the floor.  The music was strong and lively, inviting me to join in, even though I'd never danced before.  It really wasn't any harder than playing it though, just a matter of finding the beat and falling into it.  It wasn't so bad to be in a place like this, after all.  Even if I did prefer the beat of a different drum.  I put my arm around her waist and bent her over backwards, then guided her upright again.

"Let's get one thing straight," I said firmly.  "I'm in a relationship.  I love her, and I'm not leaving her."  There was a flash of surprise and curiosity in her dark eyes, but I knew she wouldn't ask who.  "There's never going to be anything between us.  But that doesn't mean you need to waste anymore of your life with a jackass like Ryu.  Dump him.  You deserve better."

I picked her up easily around her waist and whirled around, then set her down on her feet and pulled her close.  Everyone around us clapped and cheered.  And I grinned.  I was having fun.  Who would have thought it?

The song didn't last all that long.  But I think I gave Kei the best time in her life.  She'd never looked so happy. 

- - - - - - -

I escaped the gym a short while later and leaned against the brick wall behind me to gaze up at the moon.  Three-quarter tonight.  Something was coming; things were still growing… developing.  Dreamily I watched it, letting my eyes swim out of focus until it was a silver blur in my vision.  There was something there…

After a minute or so I realized she was standing a little ways away.

"Did you want something?"

"I didn't want to interrupt you."  She glanced up at the moon and then back at me with an enigmatic look in her eyes.  "It was quite beautiful, what you did back there."

"Not even a little jealous?"  She giggled.

"Not a bit.  I thought it was sweet.  Who knew that you could be sweet?"

"Certainly not me."  I leaned my head back against the rough surface of the bricks.  "But naturally you did.  You brought me here tonight to do that."

"Maybe."  She was closer now, though I hadn't seen her take any steps. 

"You can't keep doing this, you know," I said irritably.  "It's starting to wear on my nerves."

"Mm-hmm."

"I mean, you always know everything, and I don't know anything.  You're always in control.  You think you can just manipulate me into these -"

Her lips were on my ear now, gently sucking at my lobe.

"Uh, these bizarre therapy sessions.  It's not fair."  Her mouth was moving down my neck, and I had to swallow a moan of pleasure.  "You keep secrets, I know it.  You hold stuff back from me, and if we're going to have a relationship -"

She bit and sucked a little harder than usual, and this time I couldn't quite keep the moan inside.  A detached corner of my mind struggled to keep the argument going as her fingers started unbuttoning my shirt.

"If – if we're going to have an honest relationship, you can't keep…  You can't…"

For the first time ever, her hand slid under the waistline of my jeans, and she pulled at the single button.

"Shall we?" she whispered, and I nodded frantically.  After the longest unzipping of my life, she lowered herself to her knees before me.  Her lips were so soft, and I quivered with anticipation. 

My eyes were closed now, fists clenched, and through the pounding in my ears I heard her voice murmur softly.

"You were saying something?"

"Huh?  No…"

"You want me to?"

"Please.  Yes… please."

She began.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"Oh – my – god," Aki began, when he found me in the halls on Monday morning.  He'd appeared out of nowhere, practically throwing himself in my path and gripping my jacket lapels like a madman.  "What the hell happened to you on Saturday night, Kinomoto?  Possessed?  Insane?  Come on, tell me what's wrong with you?"

Of course, there was nothing wrong with me.  The world was unbelievably, perfectly right, and I just smiled blissfully at him.

"You're sick, aren't you?  Some kind of terminal disease or something?"

That brought up some unpleasant memories, and I shook my head.

"No, I'm not sick.  I'm fine, Aki.  Just… wonderful, in fact."

"Damn.  Guess I lost on that pool.  The drama club was laying bets by the end of the song.  What's going on here?  I thought you hated her!"

I shrugged.  "Just felt like it, I guess.  She's not so bad."

"You danced with Kei!" he gesticulated.  "And not just danced!  I mean, you danced with her.  What did you say to her?  How on earth did you ever get her to do it?"

"Do what?"

"She dumped Ryu!  Right in front of everyone, right by the snack table!  It was incredible!  She just pushed him away from her and spouted some girly talk about how he didn't respect her or something, and she was going to find someone who appreciated her!"

"Did she?"  I smiled again, pleased that she'd actually had the courage to stand up to him.  It had probably been very difficult for her.  "Good for her."

"Good for her," Aki mimicked sarcastically.  "Do you have any idea how long those two have been together?  I'll never forget the look on his face when she turned around and left the gym.  Everyone stayed well away from him, I'll tell you that much.  How could you have missed that?  Where were you?"

"Out back."

"And don't think he didn't hear about your little Swing Kids show with his girlfriend, Kinomoto.  She was his trophy, and he is going to kill you three times over for this.  Are you insured?"

"Aki, Aki," I remonstrated, straightening my tie and giving him a patient look.  "You know I'm not afraid of him.  He can't goad me into a fight anymore; I'm past all that.  What happened between him and Kei is none of my business.  I just gave her – a little nudge."

"He's going to give you a little funeral.  It really was nice knowing you, Kinomoto.  You've shaken things up in our class, and for that I will always remember you fondly.  Bless you, my child."  And with that he shook his head and ran to spread more gossip amongst his crowd.  I rolled my eyes and caught sight of Kei making her way toward me in the halls.  For a second, I was seized with the instinct to run and hide.  But she didn't approach me, just walked past and gave me a little smile.  She looked happy, but it was more than that.  There was a glimmer of pride in her eyes, and independence. 

I returned the smile, then turned to go to class.  After so long, being single probably wasn't going to be very easy for her at first.  I could relate.  It was hard to go back when you were used to being a certain way.  Kaho was right.  I had more in common with the people around me than I knew.  It had been worth it to reach out.

- - - - - -

At least I hoped so.  For the first time that season, Ryu charged me at soccer practice in the scrimmage.  I never even saw him coming, and he slammed into me so hard that I went flying a considerable distance.  The hard earth rushed up to meet me, and I couldn't quite keep the moan of pain inside.

"Migake!  You're benched for the first half of the next game!  What the hell do you think you're playing at, huh?  Get off this field right now!"

Ryu paid no attention to our coach's scarlet face, but locked stares with me as I picked myself up.  He wasn't smirking with pride, or even gloating that he'd managed to sneak up on me.  His expression was absolutely deadpan, and there was a glitter of malice in his eyes that held my attention.  This was a warning, but I didn't flinch as I wiped the blood from my mouth and returned his stare.  He could try all he liked, but he wasn't going to draw me into any fight, and he wasn't going to intimidate me.  I would just have to be a little more alert.

I was not afraid.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Disclaimer:  I do not own these characters

Music:  Magic Carpet Ride – Steppenwolf