Chapter 14
'dream on'
Sing with me, sing for the year,
sing for the laughter and sing for the tear…
Sing with me, if it's just for today,
maybe tomorrow the good Lord will take you away.
Dream on, dream until your dreams come true!
Her breathing is changing, getting lighter and faster. She must be almost up.
I pulled aside the curtain of her window, and morning sunlight filled the room. She stirred slightly and her eyes fluttered open. Those green eyes that looked so like Mom's.
"Nii-chan?" she murmured sleepily. "Something wrong?"
"Nope. I brought up some breakfast for you." I fluffed up the pillows behind my surprised sister and placed a tray over her lap. "Pancakes, orange juice, and some strawberries. You like strawberries, right?"
"Yes…"
"Good. Then eat up. Kids your age are supposed to have healthy, well-balanced meals, you know." She didn't say anything, but just stared at me with round eyes. "You want me to pour the syrup? Say when." I squeezed the container and drizzled her breakfast.
"That's enough," she finally said.
"Well, what are you waiting for? Dig in."
"What about you?"
"I already ate." I sat on the edge of her bed and rubbed her feet underneath the blanket. "Don't worry about me. I'll just go downstairs and make you some hot chocolate."
"But -"
"Shh. No talking. Just eating. I'll be right back." I left the room before she could ask any questions, knowing that I was probably overdoing it but unable to help myself. Seeing that bruise on her cheek just made me sick all over again, and determined to make it up to her.
"What would you like to do today? It's gorgeous weather out there, nice and warm." I couldn't seem to get enough of rubbing her feet, tickling them, teasing them. She giggled through a mouthful of pancakes. "How about the zoo? We've never been there before. I'll make a picnic lunch for us, how about that?"
"Okay," she agreed happily. She didn't seem to be bothered by yesterday's incident anymore, but that wasn't going to take away the guilt.
"Great. Get changed when you're done and come downstairs. I'll be in the kitchen."
- - - - - -
"Ooh, look! Elephants!" She scurried ahead to clamber up the railing and get a better view. I heaved a sigh.
"Sakura, I told you not to let go of my hand! A hundred times! Please don't run ahead like that."
"Gomen," she said contritely, her gaze still riveted on the two elephants in front of us. "But they're so cute! Are they husband and wife?"
I scanned the information posted by the fence.
"It says here that the male is on loan from another zoo in Tokyo. They're trying to get the female to have a baby."
"Oh, a baby elephant! That would be so cute! I hope she does, and then I can come back and see the baby too."
"I'm sure you will."
Her eyes were sparkling with joy as she watched the male hose himself off with his trunk. She was so happy, so excited to be here and watching them. How did she do that? Be so filled with delight at every little thing? It was how her mind operated, always living in the moment, always taking in every experience for what it was – something to be enjoyed. Unpleasant things didn't exist there. Already Ryu's attack had faded to a distant memory.
But where before I had viewed her smiles with jealousy and not a little resentment, I now cherished her happiness. It was so uniquely her, so completely wonderful. I couldn't bear it if anything happened to her smile.
I wrapped my arms around her from behind and rested my chin on top of her head. I could feel her happy little sigh, and knew that she was loving all this attention.
"Giraffes are next. Ready to go see them?"
"Hai!"
"All right." I lifted her off the fence and set her down on the concrete again. "But this time, don't let go of my hand. You could get lost."
"Okay," she said impatiently, tugging me alongside the cages. "But hurry up! Let's go, let's go, let's go!"
We spent a wonderfully relaxing afternoon moving from one animal display to another. Well, almost relaxing. There was a time, by the sloth cage while she was waiting for it to move, when I was sure I saw Ryu out of the corner of my eye. It wasn't him, just someone who looked a little like him, but it was enough to make me break out in a cold sweat. I clutched Sakura's hand so hard that she whimpered, and I had to remind myself to loosen my grip.
No. I wasn't ever going to lose the fear. He would always be there, lurking in the shadows just beyond my vision. She would never be totally safe.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
It was with supreme reluctance that I let go of her hand in her school courtyard the next morning.
"When class lets out, I don't want you wandering out of any teacher's sight, okay? Just wait inside the building for me to come pick you up. And for god's sake don't go with anyone who says he's my friend."
"But I always wait by the statue."
"Please don't argue with me, Sakura." I knelt to face her and gave her a stern look. "Just promise me."
"Okay."
"Arigatou." I stood and ruffled her hair, dislodging her little sailor hat.
"Onii-chan!" she squealed, and clutched at it.
"Go on, better get to class. You'll be late."
"Hai. Ja ne!" She skipped away merrily, and I had to swallow my dread before turning and leaving her school. It was the first time we had been separated since Saturday, and already my palms were sweating with nervousness.
Be calm. You knew you would have to let go eventually. She is not in danger.
She was standing by the steps of the high school, a stack of books in her arms and an understanding look of sympathy in her eyes. I nodded.
I know. It's just… hard.
But it's not the hardest thing you've had to do over the past year, she reminded me. You've faced much worse.
I'm not so sure about that, I answered grimly. Does it ever get less scary?
She hesitated.
No. But you will learn to bear it as you have everything else. You will survive this, Touya. Go to class.
My shoulders slumped a little, but I gave her a grateful smile and turned to enter the school.
- - - - - -
"Jesus Christ, Kinomoto," was the first thing Aki said when he met me in Geometry class. "What the hell happened to you?"
I brushed my fingertips gingerly over the bruise on my temple, and shrugged.
"Fell."
"Off a building?"
"Down the stairs. That's all."
He shook his head and rolled his eyes, then proceeded to tell me all about his date over the weekend. I didn't want anyone to know about the fight if I could help it, and particularly not why it had started in the first place. It had crossed my mind that Ryu was by no means the only fighter at Seijou. As Kaho pointed out almost a year ago, there were many more waiting in line behind him. And if he was willing to use Sakura, someone else might too. So I kept quiet over the next couple days, always watching warily for him in the halls but never seeing him. I was beginning to wonder if I'd really injured him that badly when Kei surprised me at my locker one morning.
"He's not here anymore."
"Who's not?"
"Ryu. I overheard them talking in the office while I was in there to fill out a tardy slip. He's dropped out and they're moving his files to the school on the other side of town. Why would someone, even a non-academic like him, drop out just two weeks before the end of the trimester?"
I shrugged, keeping my eyes carefully trained on the books in my locker.
"That cut under your eye," she continued thoughtfully. "Ryu used to get cuts like that on his face when he got in a brawl with someone."
"Did he?"
"Yeah. He did. But he always won. I don't think he could stand it if he ever lost a fight. He'd probably freak out, drop out of sight and go off to be a bully somewhere else. Anything would be better than looking someone in the face who finally beat him. I knew him pretty well, you know."
"I figured."
"You did it, didn't you?" She dropped her voice so much that it was almost impossible to hear her over the crowd of students. "You finally fought him. He was going to do something so terrible that you finally fought back."
I would not admit or deny it, but I looked her squarely in the eyes without speaking. Part of her looked curious, but mostly she was awed.
"What did he do?"
"Something bad," I said stiffly, and slammed my locker shut before turning and walking away.
I don't think she said anything to anybody. But his absence from the soccer team was noticed fairly quickly, and it didn't take much for some to make the connection between my face and his disappearance. By the end of the week people were whispering behind my back in the halls, guys skirting me warily as I walked toward practice. I paid no attention to any of them, particularly when Aki begged me for details. Yes, I had fought him, but for the first time in my life, derived no pleasure from it. It was something that I had to do, no more. And as much as my hands shook when I thought about that day, I did have to admit to myself that Ryu had served a purpose. He had woken up the fear inside of me. Maybe it wasn't pleasant, but for the first time in a long time, I was fulfilling my promise to Mom.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Those thoughts were on my mind as I walked her home from our last game on Friday afternoon. With the luckiest of timing, the bruises on both our faces had just faded, but I saw Dad's car parked in the driveway with a touch of apprehension. Though I had wanted to very much, I'd never pressed Sakura to keep quiet about the incident. I didn't want her young mind to realize the significance of what happened, nor did I want to give an impression that I had something to hide from Dad.
"Daddy's home! Daddy!" She skipped inside and I heard him give a slight groan as she pounced on him.
"Hey sweetheart, I missed you too."
"Did you have a good time?"
"Hai. I had a very good time."
"Where were you again?"
"A place called China. Do you know where that is?"
"Oh yes. Our teacher showed us on a map. It's huge!"
"It certainly was, and I was going to a place very far away from any of the cities. That's what took me so long to get back. Did your brother take good care of you?"
I stiffened as I watched them from the hallway. If she was going to say anything, this would be the time. But she only smiled and nodded, more interested in finding out what Dad had brought her than telling stories.
"Arigatou, Touya-kun. It means a lot to me."
"It was no problem at all," I murmured, for once sincere. "I enjoyed it."
And I think he even picked up on it, because he looked up from Sakura with a flash of surprise and then gratitude in his eyes. We shared a brief and silent moment before I nodded and turned to go upstairs.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
"Welcome to the fold," Aki greeted me, with a merry grin as he shuffled his favorite deck of cards. "I knew we'd get you here eventually. Now it's only a matter of time before you're slacking off and failing like the rest of us."
"Not likely," I said coolly, sliding into the chair to his left. It was the first night of summer, and once again Aki had invited me to his cherished celebratory poker game. It was held outside, in his driveway under the sickly glow of the bug-zapper lamp. Tsujitane and a few other guys from our class were already there, cracking open sodas or cheap beer. All were welcoming, but I still felt a little out of place. It seemed odd for me to be here, considering where I was the first night of summer at this time last year. Yet Kaho had been firm when I mentioned it, declaring that I should definitely go, that it would be good for me.
"But don't you want me to come by?" I had asked, and she only smiled and shook her head.
"I want you to enjoy yourself," she'd answered, a cryptic look in her eyes like always. "This is a change for the good."
A nice thought, even if it was one that triggered an uncomfortable twinge in my stomach. I'm not fond of change; once I get settled into the way of things it takes a lot to break me out. But she was right; there was nothing at all unreasonable with spending some time with my classmates.
But still…
"Move your elbows, man, I'm trying to deal here."
"You call that shuffling the deck? Here, let me show you how it's done."
There was a difference; I knew it. In the two weeks since the fight, there was something different between us. She didn't feel more distant exactly, but not exactly all there either. Her thoughts were closed to me, but one didn't have to be a mind reader to see the forward-dwelling look in her eye. Something about the near future was demanding her attention.
"What, no pretzels?"
"Oh, shut up already and call."
There was something missing, something that I hadn't quite been able to put my finger on. But right then as I examined my cards and dropped some yen in the middle of the table, it occurred to me. I'd made yet another breakthrough – and this had been this most frightening and revealing of them all. She'd been there as I poured out my true feelings for Sakura, and congratulated me on discovering the truth. So where was the next step?
Why hadn't she –
"Read 'em and weep, boys." There was a collective groan of dismay around the table as Aki gathered the small pile.
Sex was the next step, I was suddenly very sure. There was nothing else; this had to be it. And for that she was bound to bring me to her home at last, and reveal where she lived. Finally I would see where she slept and ate and spent her time – especially where she slept. Lord knew that after what I went through with Sakura I deserved it. She would remove her clothing, piece by piece, and then mine before lying down on the bed. And then we would –
"Kinomoto? Hello? Touya?" Aki's persistent nagging broke through my fantasy, and I felt my face flushing as I focused on him.
"Hmm?"
"Whoa, check out his face. What were you thinking about?"
"His secret girlfriend," Tsujitane supplied gleefully. "I'm sure of it; even if I am jealous." He'd grown comfortable enough to joke about it around me, and I almost choked when he winked and rubbed his foot against mine.
"Is it true?" Aki leaned in conspiratorially. "You can tell us. You're having an affair with Kei, right? That's why you finally fought Ryu."
"There is nothing going on between me and Kei," I declared firmly.
"Then who is she?" our goalie persisted, at the same time that the others pleaded to know why I'd fought him then.
"You guys, you guys! There's no girlfriend, and I'm not telling. No power on this earth will ever drag the information from my lips."
"Please?" Tsujitane begged, his blue eyes widening slightly. I found it slightly disconcerting that it almost worked, and wondered if his light flirtation was actually having some kind of effect.
I shook my head to clear it, and plucked the cigarette from his fingertips before taking a long and loving drag on it. The familiar sensation soothed me, and brought me back to earth. I exhaled the smoke in his face and flashed that mysterious smile that Kaho was so good at.
"No power on this earth," I repeated. "Now shall we play?"
They returned grudgingly to the game, but my newfound realization was weighing heavily on my mind. I was nervous and excited at the same time. When would the lovemaking session come about? Was she waiting for just the right moment?
Yes, I decided. That was probably it. She was waiting for school to end so I would be free of distractions. It's bound to happen soon. And it will be so wonderful…
I could hardly concentrate on the game for the rest of the night.
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"Ohayo," my dad said from the stove as I dragged myself downstairs. "Did you have fun last night with your friends?"
"It was okay."
"Good." He beamed and handed me a plate; I managed a sleepy smile in return. I could see in his eyes that he was scared I'd actually been with her, but he wasn't going to accuse me of anything. Which was just as well since for once I actually hadn't.
"Ohayo!" Sakura shouted joyfully as she flew into the kitchen. For the first day of summer vacation she was up awfully early. I frowned as I took in her outfit. She was in a white t-shirt and red pleated skirt, clutching her precious baton.
"What are you wearing?"
"This is the practice outfit! The cheerleading club meets at the school over the summer so we can practice our routines! I can't wait!"
"That's nice." I glanced at the clock by the oven. "What time do we have to go?"
"Dad said I can go alone!" She shot me a radiant and proud smile, and I spat my morning tea all over the table.
"Say what?"
"Well, she is eight after all," Dad explained, smiling with an expression of one who has just bestowed a wonderful gift upon another. "And we know she can walk to and from school just fine. I said she could go to practice without you having to go along and watch her."
"Are you nuts? She can't go to school alone!"
"Yes I can!"
"Touya-kun, is something wrong? I thought you'd be pleased you didn't have to spend the day watching her."
"Uh… she'll run off afterwards with one of her friends. Someone has to make sure she gets home all right."
"I won't do that!"
"I really think it will be all right," he said placidly. "She's old enough so that she can get to school on her own." There was no mistaking the curiosity in his eyes, and I knew I was overdoing it. Better play it cool.
"Well, yeah," I admitted. "She's old enough, I guess. But she'll still hang around with all her friends afterward and talk. I know her."
"I won't!"
"Tell you what," I continued as if I hadn't heard her. "I'll jog by the school by the end of the practice and we can come home together."
She gave an exasperated groan and gulped some of her breakfast down. Dad looked even more confused.
"Since when do you jog?"
"Cross-training. Better for stamina on the field."
"But the season's over."
"Never too soon to start getting ready for next year."
"Weren't you going to start looking for a part-time job today? I thought you wanted to start saving up for a bike."
Damn. I looked away from his questioning gaze and saw that he'd put the classifieds out on the table for my use.
"I was," I said lamely. "I am. I'll do it later though."
"Uh-huh." He arched his eyebrows then shook his head. "Well, it's your summer vacation. I've got to get going, summer classes start today." He stood and patted his mouth with his napkin. "Would you mind terribly doing the dishes? I'm a little late."
"Me too!" Sakura yelped, and hastily polished off her breakfast before darting for the door.
"Hey, wait!" I couldn't help myself; I scrambled out of my chair and followed her out onto the porch.
"Nani?"
"Nothing, I just…" I swallowed and looked away from her patient green eyes. How was I going to handle this? There was no way that I could just stand there and let her walk off on her own, but I could hardly follow her either. I had an inspiration when I saw her birthday present on the porch. "Hey, you know what would probably be really fun?"
"What?"
"If you skated to school. You'd get there much quicker and think what good practice it will be!"
She looked surprised, and there was a hint of excitement in her expression.
"Really? It's okay for me to skate to school?"
"Sure." I placed my hand on her shoulders and pushed her down gently, kneeling to remove her shoes. "Think of how fast you'll be able to go. No one will be able to catch you." Particularly not fifteen year-old thugs with a vendetta against your older brother. "If you skate, then I won't come by and bother you after your practice, I swear."
She perked up a little at that.
"Really? You'll let me come home all on my own?"
"You bet." She finished slapping the last of the latches in place and stood a little unsteadily on her feet. "Now get going. And remember, don't talk to any strangers. Don't go wandering off after practice, come right home."
"I know."
"And keep your pads on, don't skate without them!"
"I know!" She shot out of the front gate and disappeared from view around the corner. My shoulders slumped a little as I lost sight of her, then turned to see Dad in the doorway.
"What?"
"Nothing. You just seem a little -" He paused to grope for the right word while I tensed. He couldn't guess. I'd be mortified if he ever discovered the truth. "Different lately. You're acting different around Sakura."
"I don't know what you're talking about," I said loftily. "Now weren't you running late?"
"Oh, yes. I'll see you tonight. Have a good day!" He waved his briefcase at me before sliding behind the wheel of the car and turning the key. I didn't wait for him to pull out of the driveway before I dove back into the house and slammed the door shut. The less he saw of my face the better.
- - - - - - -
"Exhausting," I moped that night. "It's impossible to try and keep up with her all the time! Especially without making him suspicious. It figures that he would finally decide that she could go to practice on her own. Everything is conspiring to make it so difficult for me!"
She gave a light laugh as I uttered a groan and leaned back against the tree, placing my arm around her shoulders.
"I'm sorry that I haven't been by too often lately. It's just with final exams and trying to watch her and doing all the chores in the house… I've been run ragged. And now that summer's here Dad is expecting me to get a job. And there's still Sakura to worry about."
"That's quite all right." She snuggled up to me, apparently untroubled by my increasing absences. "It's more important that you do what you feel is right."
"You don't mind?"
"Not at all."
Part of me was a little hurt at that. I mean, I was glad that she understood my need to watch over Sakura, but it would have been nice if she missed me a little. The promise of what was to come flitted through my mind right then, and I leaned closer to nibble on her ear.
"Perhaps I could make it up to you… in some way."
"It's not necessary." She didn't move away, exactly, but her tone and overall attitude was like a mental splash of cold water over me. I stiffened and pulled my mouth away.
"Is something wrong?"
"No, everything's going exactly how it should." Her voice was flat and emotionless as she stared at the starry sky above us. Something about her answer worried me.
"What do you mean?"
"Oh Touya." She leaned her head against my shoulder and sighed, her previous coolness gone in an instant. "Did you ever have to do something, knowing in advance that it would be difficult, but then still be afraid to move on and do it?"
"Sure, you know that. I've been doing that a lot over this past year."
Something about her attitude was troubling me; it was as if she was seeking comfort. That was strange, Kaho was not the one to seek comfort. It was always me turning to her. But now there was something in her that signaled fear, and even nervousness. Maybe she wasn't ready? Impossible. Maybe she didn't think I was ready.
I stroked my fingers through her long hair and leaned my head against hers. She should really know better than that. Maybe I was only fifteen, but I had matured so much more rapidly than others my age. She knew that. I was ready to lose my virginity to her.
"But I always get through it," I said aloud. "With you there to help me. I can do anything when I'm with you."
I thought that would reassure her, but instead she just clutched at my shirt a little tighter and gave a sigh. I pushed back my impatience and resigned myself to simply holding her. Whatever was bothering her, it was obvious that she wasn't ready to share, and it was still more obvious that nothing was going to happen tonight. She seemed content to be held, and this I did. The almost-full moon circled overhead and set in the west, and the stars became brighter and more numerous.
And still I held her.
- - - - - -
Something was different.
My eyes snapped open and I stared at the ceiling, trying to understand why I'd woken. Something was coming; something was about to change. Was Mom about to die?
No. I shook my head and sat up, raking my fingers through my hair to push it out of my eyes. No, Mom wasn't about to die. That had already happened. So what was this nagging feeling inside me?
Something was about to change.
I yawned and decided to get up. It was impossible to know what time it was, seeing as how my alarm clock had gone, and it was dark outside. Sakura had borrowed my clock, so she wouldn't be late today. She would be practicing her play before school started. At least Sleeping Beauty was an improvement over Cinderella.
Huh? I shook my head and the random thoughts skittered out of my mind. It was late – or very early. I wasn't thinking clearly. I pushed my way out of the bedroom and entered the bathroom, leaning over to splash my face with cold water. I looked up to check my reflection, and did a double take.
What the – the mirror had winked at me. I rubbed my eyes and stared at the innocuous glass, but it didn't move. There was only my puzzled and startled expression staring back at me. It wasn't my reflection that had winked. Somehow, the mirror itself had done it.
"Something wrong, Touya?" My father paused out in the hallway and gave me a concerned look. I glanced nervously back at the mirror, but it wasn't doing anything, and I shrugged.
"No, nothing's wrong. It's just… we've never really had much of a chance to talk. What with you being scared of me, and me not able to trust you. I'm sorry about that."
"You had your reasons."
We shared a brief smile of understanding before trooping downstairs to the kitchen. We'd lost too many years to the awkward silence of the house. It was time to change that.
The past is gone…
it went by, like dusk to dawn.
Isn't that the way?
Everybody's got their dues in life to pay…
She was fixing breakfast when we entered. Dad sat down at the table with a look of anticipation on his face, but I remained standing.
"Won't you have any breakfast, Touya?"
"No thanks. No time to sit and eat. I have to go. I have a job to do."
She smiled sweetly and nodded, her long curls bouncing slightly with the movement.
"Are you angry? That I didn't keep the promise?"
"You never broke the promise. I'm not angry. But I am relieved. You remembered just in time, before she had a chance to open the book."
"What book?"
"The Book," she answered matter-of-factly, as though it were obvious. Her words were worrisome, but mostly I was happy that she wasn't angry. She hadn't left me forever after all. She was merely biding her time. I leaned close and planted a light kiss on her cheek.
"I have to go," I said again.
"I know. Do well. We're all counting on you."
I turned and nodded to Dad before leaving the house behind. Outside, it was impossible to determine what time it was. The moon was still high in the sky, perfectly round and full. The starlight was dazzling, it was so bright.
"Go away," I said firmly to the one who was waiting in our yard. "You are most definitely not welcome here."
I was ignored, and began walking down the street with an unwanted companion at my side.
The night was calm and serene, but I had a sense of urgency anyway and began to run lightly down the street. It wasn't long before I was standing in that park that she loved so much. The giant penguin slide glared down at me in the darkness, and I scowled right back. A faint green mist encircled its head, like a halo, and began to corrode the surface.
I clapped sharply, and the mist dissipated. Better. That stuff was dangerous.
"You take my girl, I take yours."
I whirled around at the sound of Ryu's voice, but couldn't see him anywhere. Then a splash sounded in the creek and I saw a vicious-looking creature rise up from the watery surface. It was completely blue, with long streaming hair. It smiled, displaying wicked sharp teeth.
"It's gonna happen between us," it said, again stealing Ryu's voice. I was afraid, but I stared it down until it sank beneath the surface.
Some other time, perhaps. I would face it, whatever it was, some other time. Meanwhile, I couldn't be wasting time here anymore. She was at the shrine, probably lost. I needed to get there and help her find the exit.
Aki's deck of cards skittered across the ground, caught in the wind, twisting and fluttering in midair. Despite my distrust in them, I allowed them to lead me forward. My unwanted companion followed me all the way to the arch of the shrine, and I scowled when I saw what was before me. It was our place, our special place to be alone together. Yet once again they had erected tents and decorations, preparing for the summer festival. It had been taken from me.
"Not taken, Touya. Only borrowed. For no one can expect to be the sole keeper of something so beautiful forever. Don't you think?"
"I suppose," I muttered grudgingly. "But I just thought… maybe not so quickly. It was too fast; I hardly had a chance. It's too soon."
"Then enjoy it while you can," she murmured.
The music of the festival swirled around me – around us – and it was too inviting to resist. I could hold back no more, but moved into a series of back handsprings. I finished off with a back tuck and straightened, holding my arms out to the full and shining moon.
But that was not enough. I spun and struck in the night, surrounded by the stars and the familiar shrine, wheeling and spinning as I kicked and punched. There was this amazing energy inside me, so much potential demanding to be released. I had strength. I had power.
They were everywhere now, flying above me in the star-studded sky. A girl with wings, and a little creature beside her. Then a man who shone silver, so bright that I could not even look directly at him.
Still more of them. A woman who flapped with butterfly wings instead of those of a bird, and a winged panther by her side.
Danger threatened. I knew it. Change was coming. But it was exciting as it was scary, and I was determined to see it through. Even if some of it was bound to hurt.
The sorceress raised her hand and rang her bell. The time had come, and I extended my arm out and up to the sky. After a long moment of hesitation, the one who had been first in the sky folded her wings to dive. She perched on my hand, a dove with soft white feathers as they brushed against my skin and tickled.
"Hey there," I whispered, and she fluttered nervously, wings flapping. She was uncertain, frightened, but I placed a hand over her and stroked her soothingly. She was just a little bird, so fragile and easily injured. I kept my hand over her wings so she couldn't fly away again, because I didn't want to give her up. But I knew that I had to. No one could expect to be the keeper of something so beautiful forever.
Slowly, so as not to startle her, I lowered into a kneeling position on the grass. The one who had followed me here from my home was still sitting there, waiting patiently. It was a puppy, of some sorts, though rather large. His tongue hung out the side of his mouth as he panted, and his black eyes never left the bird in my hand.
What am I doing? I can't give such a delicate bird to him. He's a predator; he'll eat her!
But I knew I had no choice. They were all gathered around now, watching me intently, waiting for me to do the right thing. Slowly I removed my hand from her wings, so that she could fly away. She didn't try to escape, but took another moment to nestle in my palm.
"I'm giving her over to you," I said slowly. The puppy looked at me, then back at her again. "I'll be watching you. So you better do a good job…" I realized what the animal was. "Little wolf."
He raised a paw and whined in a supplicating gesture, and the bird in my hand took flight to go join him. A white feather drifted past my nose and I snatched at it, before it could be lost to the night. The breeze was developing into a fierce gust, and the branches of the trees trembled. Vast clouds of cherry blossom petals were whisked into the air, mingling with the ash.
But this time, they weren't scattering. Instead, the night wind carried them up, high into the sky. I stood and turned my face upward, following the petals as they flew ever higher and higher. They were tracing a path up to the moon, and I closed my eyes as I basked in its silver glow.
Soon, it seemed to say. You and me… soon.
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Disclaimer: I do not own these charactersMusic: Dream On - Aerosmith