Speed and Trixie Chapter 5: Doubts, a speed racer fanfic

Chapter 5: Doubts

Speed and Trixie had been together as a couple for just about a year now. Emotionally they had grown very close, being able to finish each other's sentences. Unfortunately never did they admit to the other that they were in love. However, Trixie believed that Speed did love her because he always wanted her with him and their kisses were still simply amazing. She just kept dreaming that one day soon she'd hear him say in words that he loved her.

It wasn't till a few months later that things started to change between them. One normal week day, Speed was watching Trixie as she play with his younger brother outside of the Racer's home. He was still as attracted to her as much as he was the first time he met her, but now things seemed to be moving too fast for him. Maybe her being around all the time was getting to be too much and then out loud he said to himself, "She's around all of the time because you want her to be. But I'm just too young to be tied down." For some unknown reason he started to get scared. It was a fear of commitment like a million other men all over the planet. Unfortunately he decided that he should start giving someone else a chance because he wasn't married.

That night before Trixie left, he decided not to kiss her good-night. It would be the perfect way to start backing away from her.

Trixie noticed that he seemed a little distant but didn't think too much of it. "Are you alright, Speed?"

"I'm fine," he said dryly not making eye contact with her.

"Okay. Well... I'm going to head out because I have to see one of my instructors early tomorrow morning."

"Fine," Speed said not moving to kiss her.

However; without hesitation, Trixie walked to Speed to kiss him goodnight.

Forget that I wasn't going to kiss her, Speed thought. As soon as her lips touched his, his arms were around her pulling her close. After this nice, affectionate kiss, Speed said, "I'm sorry," as he continued to hold her close

"Don't be sorry for that kiss," she said smiling as she backed away winking at him.

As she drove off, Speed thought to himself that he was sorry for being such a jerk that day to her. She didn't deserve it but then he realized that she was too sweet to even notice.

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Everyone knew Speed and Trixie were always together so it was no surprise when they were leaving for their first trip to Europe to see a racetrack, that a reporter asked Speed about any possible marriage plans in the future. Trixie was already in the plane as Speed politely told the reporter, "You never know what the future holds." He then walked on to the plane and decided that was it. He was too young to get married so he had to separate himself from Trixie now or he might end up regretting it if he didn't. Even though he did have very strong feelings for her, he suddenly imagined himself on the end of a leash that Trixie was holding. I can't let that happen, he thought.

Unfortunately there was one person who wouldn't mind helping Speed to separate himself from Trixie. That person was a beautiful girl named Gem. Gem's Father owned one of the best tracks in Europe, and Speed met her his first day in Europe. He thought Gem was beautiful and it was obvious that she was just as attracted to him as well. She had very long, black hair and the body of a goddess. Trixie couldn't help but notice the way her boyfriend and the girl looked at each other but tried to ignore it since girls always looked at Speed. She told herself that Speed was just being friendly and that she was analyzing the situation too much.

That evening, all of the racers and their guest were to attend a party held by Gem's father. Speed and Trixie walked in together but Speed made sure he wasn't holding Trixie's hand like he normally did because he wanted to look unattached to her. He had told himself that he was a free man after all.

Gem walked in about ten minutes later and she looked beautiful in a long, tight, peach dress that practically blended in with her skin.

Trixie leaned to Speed and said, "I didn't bring anything like that to wear."

"Don't worry about it. You look fine," he said glancing at Trixie in her jeans and a nice shirt, and then he forced his attention to Gem.

Gem walked directly to Speed to hug him hello, barely acknowledging Trixie. After being ignored for about fifteen minutes while Speed and Gem talked about her father's track, Trixie said, "Please excuse me."

Still natural for Speed with his girlfriend, he was about to put his hand on her shoulder and ask her if she was alright but he stopped himself and just let her walk away.

Trixie moved further and further away from them feeling horrible. She didn't like this side of Speed.

The rest of the night she sat at the bar talking to some of the driver's wives and when she wasn't doing that, she was drinking. That was something she normally didn't do but it was helping to take her mind off of all the attention Speed was giving to Gem.

When a slow song came on, Gem asked Speed to dance. He looked around the room and when he didn't see Trixie, he accepted and then told himself he didn't need Trixie's permission anyway. He was supposed to be getting some freedom back.

Ten minutes later, Trixie was in the dressing room feeling quite dizzy from drinking.

"Trixie," Racer X said walking up to her when she came out. "Are you alright?" He didn't like seeing her by herself with all of the drinking, single guys around.

"I hate to admit this," she said sluggishly while looking back at him. "But I think I drank a little too much."

"I see that. I think you should sit down."

"I tried that...but the room spins," she said a little wobbly and with a laugh.

"You definitely had a little too much," the Masked Racer said with a smile as he grabbed her by her arm to keep her from falling over.

"You know," Trixie said staring at the only part of his face that could be seen because of his mask, "You and Speed have the same shape face. In fact...if you were shorter, I'd think you were Speed."

Racer X had managed to keep his identity a secret all this time and he didn't want it out now. Calmly, he said, "Trixie. Please keep that to yourself."

"I don't even remember what I said," she replied just before leaning on the wall they were standing next to.

He knew she had had enough, and concerned for her, he said, "I should find Speed."

"No. Please don't," she said getting comfortable against that wall as the Masked Racer released her arm. "I don't want him to see me this way."

Looking for Speed, Racer X saw him dancing with Gem.

Then suddenly, Sparky showed up. "What's going on?" he asked looking at Trixie and instantly noticing her red eyes.

Racer X whispered, "She's been drinking...and she doesn't want Speed to know."

"I think he has his hands full anyway," Sparky said looking at Speed with Gem.

The Masked Racer made a face at Sparky as if to say shut up. He wondered if Gem was why Trixie started drinking in the first place this night.

"I meant that...Gem talks a lot," Sparky said trying to cover up what he had just said.

"I don't care," Trixie said looking more than sad. "I feel so sick right now."

"Let's go then," Sparky said being a friend.

"I'll tell Speed you weren't feeling well," Racer X said walking outside with them. He ended up practically having to carry Trixie to the car.

"I don't think Speed cares where I am," Trixie mumbled.

"Of course he will worry," the Masked Racer said trying to console her.

"I'll get our flying buddy safely to the hotel," Sparky said shaking Racer X's hand.

Racer X knew Trixie would be safe with Sparky. When the Masked Racer walked back inside, Speed was actually free of Gem. When Speed saw him, he walked up to his friend and asked if he saw Trixie or Sparky.

"Well...Trixie wasn't feeling...right...so Sparky took her back to the hotel."

"Why didn't she say anything to me?" Speed asked innocently.

"I guess she saw that you were preoccupied with Gem," Racer X said trying to make a point.

"I was just opening myself up to some new people," Speed said as if it was a wonderful idea.

"It sounds like you think you need to play the field some more," the Masked Racer said feeling for Trixie. He knew Trixie was crazy about his little brother and he had thought that Speed felt the same way about her.

"Playing the field? Maybe something like that," Speed said just before turning to leave.

The next morning, Speed knocked on Trixie's hotel room door and found that she didn't look so good when she opened it.

"Are you feeling any better?" he asked having no idea that she had a hang over.

"Not really," she said while putting on a pair of sunglasses.

"Head ache?"

Trixie just shook her head yes.

"Are you going to rent and take a helicopter up today?"

"I don't think it's a good idea," she said rubbing her forehead.

"Why don't you just stay in the room and relax," Speed said ready to go with or without her. "I'll be back later."

"Will you?" she asked accusingly.

"Hey," he said raising his voice a little. "I came back right after you left last night."

She then remembered him opening the door to check on her not long after she had gotten into bed. She had pretended she was sleeping. "I know...I know you were back just after me," she said. "Please ignore me. I just don't feel all that well right now."

Of course Speed still had serious feelings for her so instinctively he walked to her and hugged her. As he held her, he said, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing. I'll be alright," she said hugging him back. She hoped that maybe they wouldn't see Gem again. "Please just hold me."

Speed did just that not knowing that it might possibly be the last time he ever held her again.

Later at the track everything seemed to be going fine as Speed and Trixie spoke their thoughts of the track, and even a few times he asked her how she was feeling. However, after Gem showed up, Speed did something that really upset Trixie and hurt her more than he knew. After the Go Team and Racer X spoke of going to a different track, they began to make their way to leave. While Trixie was about to get into the Mach 5 with Speed, Gem scooted her way in front of Trixie and got into the Mach 5 instead. To Trixie's disappointment, Speed didn't seem to mind at all and he pulled off leaving his girlfriend behind. Suddenly, Trixie thought back to the time when Speed said he'd never leave her behind and instantly she knew things would never be the same. The rest of the Go Team along with Racer X were embarrassed for her, but she played it cool - acting like nothing had happened.

Trixie rode with Racer X after he insisted, and she never said a word about Gem or Speed but the Masked Racer could tell by the look in her eyes that it upset her tremendously. Though he was like a guardian angel to his brother, at the moment Racer X felt that he wanted to ask Speed why he was being so cruel to Trixie, but unfortunately he knew it was none of his business.

The next two days, Trixie and Speed were in the same place but they definitely weren't together. The good morning and the good night kisses disappeared along with the handholding. He wouldn't even make eye contact with her, so they were quiet having nothing to say to each other though they each talked to everyone else around them. It was like something took over Speed making him treat Trixie totally different. To put it simple, he was basically ignoring her. He had decided that was the only way he could give all of his attention to someone else - Gem.

Trixie tried to ignore him, which he didn't seem to even notice. When Gem was around, Speed always seemed to be hanging on to her last words, which drove Trixie crazy. Though she would never do such a thing, at times she wanted to run over the both of them with the Mach 5.

The Go Team's last day in Europe, their plane was getting ready to take off when Trixie noticed Speed waving as he looked out of the window. She looked out the window as well to see Gem throwing him a kiss as if they had had a fling right under Trixie's nose. Suddenly Trixie couldn't stand to be near her so called boyfriend any longer so she stood up from her seat and moved. She was convinced that Speed wished he was with Gem and at this, Trixie became more mad but then very sad all at the same time.

When Speed turned from the window, he realized that Trixie moved to another seat on the plane. "I guess she wanted to sit by the window," he whispered. He admitted to himself that he had really missed her in Europe because he was so busy trying to see if he could have feelings for someone else. He was about to call for her to come sit back next to him, but then he decided to take a nap instead; figuring that they could talk tomorrow. Laying his head back against the seat, he closed his eyes to go to sleep not knowing just how much he had hurt her and himself for that matter.

Sparky was watching and couldn't help but notice the sad look on Trixie's face. Her spunk had been gone through out the trip. Speed was breaking her heart and from the looks of it, she wasn't going to take it anymore.

All she could do was wonder what had happened to them as she stared out of the plane window as it took off. Speed used to want her around and now he had ignored her like she was a stranger. She didn't want to cry, but tears started to roll down her face so she turned so no one could see her.

However, Racer X saw and couldn't believe how Speed had jeopardized his relationship with Trixie the way he so obviously had. The Masked Racer could only imagine what was going though Trixie's head as she cried.

Trixie knew she had given Speed her heart and that now she had to break that hold he had on her. The dream she had of the two of them together forever had come to an end. The tears were pouring out of her eyes now as she realized that he probably never did love her. Thinking some more of the attention Speed gave to Gem, Trixie then roughly took her Go Team wrist ban off and tossed it on the empty seat next to her. Just after the plane landed, she quickly left without telling anyone good-bye.

Racer X had felt sorry for her and understood why she had been crying. She and Speed had made a good team and now here Speed was ignoring the best thing that had ever happened to him. The Masked Racer really believed this too. Even though Speed and Trixie were young, to see them together made you think they were meant for each other…until now.

When Speed finally woke up just after the plane stopped, the first thing he saw was a Go Team jacket on a seat in the plane. When he walked over to it, he saw a hat as well and knew it was all of Trixie's stuff. Where is she, he thought then he realized that she left. He assumed she tried to wake him but that he must have been in too deep of a sleep. After picking up all of her stuff, he realized that he had missed the smell of her perfume that was coming from her jacket.