Chapter 8: Both Miserable

A couple of weeks later after Speed's night of drinking, Speed and Sparky were in the garage working on the Mach 5 when Speed just suddenly stopped. He couldn't take keeping how he felt to himself anymore and had no idea of what he confessed under the influence of alcohol when he was in the sport's bar.

"What's wrong?" Sparky asked when he noticed Speed just standing there leaning on the Mach 5.

Looking down, Speed said, "I really miss her. I want her back so badly that it's driving me crazy."

Sparky knew he meant Trixie and walked over to his friend and leaned on the car next to him. "I've been knowing you want her back."

"Is it that obvious?"

"You're just always so down now," Sparky said not meaning to depress Speed more. "I'm not saying you've changed, but you're not the same."

"Funny, that's how I feel," Speed said sounding sad. Finally, he lifted his eyes to look at Sparky. "Did I seem as happy as I remember I was when she was around?"

Sparky smiled at his friend. "Yes, and not to sound corny, but when you met her, she brought out the best in you. You became even more confident just with her being around."

Speed suddenly remembered the pep talks she gave him whenever he seemed to need them. The look in her eyes had made him strive to do his best. She always told him she'd stand behind him what ever he decided to do and she did.

"I have to tell you something about you and Trixie," Sparky said intruding in on Speed's thoughts.

"What?" Speed asked wanting to know.

"I have never seen two people more perfectly matched for each other than you two."

Speed knew Sparky was right. He didn't know he could feel so close to someone until Trixie came into his life. It had almost seemed too good to be true.

"I remember a time when you said she was made for you. I thought you were crazy at the time but you were right, Speed"

Speed remembered he said that right after he had met her, because they had so much in common.

"You should call her," Sparky said wanting to encourage his friend to do so.

"I can't."

"Why? Everyone knew you two were crazy about each other."

"Well, I ruined that. Didn't I," Speed said pushing off the Mach 5 and walking over to the opened garage door to just stand there and stare out.

"Just call her?" Sparky said behind him.

"I'm sure I'm the last person she wants to talk to. She wants Jake now anyway."

"I don't think so," Sparky said. "She doesn't look happy with him to me."

"But she's still with him and it's my fault," Speed said walking off.

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That night Speed lay in his bed regretting ever wanting his freedom in the first place. He truly missed Trixie and he knew he'd never meet another girl like her and now it seemed he wasn't attracted to anyone else. He now wished he had said so many things to her. What killed him was the thought of her crying on the plane on the way home as he just slept. If he would have known, he would have held her in his arms and told her that everything was going to be alright and that nothing really happened with Gem. Suddenly, he remembered the last time he did hold her in his arms. It was when they were in Europe and she wasn't feeling well. It was agonizing thinking about it because now he knew she had been trying to tell him that she was upset with him. However, she had just asked him to keep holding her as if that had been enough to make her feel better. She had no idea how strong his feelings were for her. How could she? He had kept them buried deep inside of himself. Then again, he thought of her trying to reach out to him by just asking him to just hold her. A tear now rolled out of his eye.

A week later when he was trying to do his best to get her out of his mind because of a big race coming up, they ran into each other in the license bureau. He was renewing his license and she doing something with her flying license.

There was only about five feet between them when they noticed each other. Their eyes locked as their hearts started to race being this close to each other after being apart for so long now.

Speed realized she still took his breath away as he looked into her eyes not knowing the right words to say. His strong feelings for her were back in an instant and he knew even more that he shouldn't have let her get away from him.

Trixie felt the same way and knew she was making a big mistake being with Jake. It was sad but a part of her knew that she had been using Jake to try to get over Speed.

All the walls they had each just recently built around themselves not to care for the other came collapsing down.

Trixie just wanted him to hold her again. She'd never forget the year with him before Europe. For a brief second, she didn't care what he had done in Europe. Maybe they could start fresh.

He started to move towards her but then her name was called. He stopped and as if she was brought back into reality, she stood there for a couple of seconds looking confused before she turned and walked to the woman who had called her name.

Speed was beside himself wanting to grab her by her arm but instead on legs that felt like jelly, he turned and walked away from her.

Trixie wished she could disappear as she wondered why they had to run into each other in this place. She shouldn't care she kept telling herself as she reminded herself of Gem. This was easy to think now that she wasn't looking into Speed's eyes. When she was finished updating her license, she glanced around quickly but Speed was gone.

She didn't know that he was still there hiding behind a door. He watched her leave and put his head down to look at the floor when she disappeared through the front door. He knew he should have never let her go because it seemed he had lost her forever.

As Trixie pulled off in her car, she was very upset that she still loved Speed and that he obviously never did love her since he just left without a word.