Author's note: This race is one like in the episodes; around cliffs and such.
Chapter 9: Admitting Their Feelings
The day of the big race, Speed convinced himself that he was ready for it. It was time once and for all to move on with his life.
Unfortunately, Jake had talked Trixie into being in the race with him by saying his navigator suddenly couldn't make it - though one wasn't necessary for this race. Trixie really didn't want to be his navigator but his begging made her agree to do so. However, Jake really only wanted her to be in the race with him because he knew it would get to Speed.
At the start of the race, Speed did see Trixie in Jake's car and it took everything in him to hold it together. This race is all that's important, he told himself over and over. How can she be his navigator? No! I can't do this to myself. The race is all that's important now.
During the race, Speed continued to hold it together; therefore doing farely well. Even after how upset Trixie had been with him, she was actually happy that he was in the lead since he was such a great racer, while Jake wasn't happy at all. When he finally caught up to Speed, he kept getting too close and eventually tried to run Speed off the cliff they were on. Because of Speed's skillful driving, he was able to keep out of danger as he heard Trixie yelling at Jake to stop. When Jake didn't give up with his dirty tricks, Speed became enraged and abruptly stopped the Mach 5 in a way that blocked Jake - making him stop as well.
"What the hell are you doing!" Speed yelled jumping out of the Mach 5.
"I'm going to win this race!" Jake exclaimed furiously.
"So trying to kill me is worth it!" Speed roared back just as mad. There was a pause because Jake didn't answer. Shaking his head in disgust, Speed turned and started to walk back to the Mach 5. As he was walking, he then heard footsteps suddenly behind his.
"Where are you going?" Jake asked sounding very upset.
Speed didn't turn his head to look but knew those were Trixie's footsteps moving towards the Mach 5.
"Trixie!" Jake called out to her but she didn't answer. All that was heard next was Jake taking off in his car.
After Speed got into the Mach 5, he still didn't look at Trixie. He just waited for the sound of the door closing after she was in. He then took off full force and soon flew past Jake. Trixie had to smile at Speed's driving since he truly had a gift.
With the adrenalin Speed had now because she was in the car, it wasn't long until he put the Mach 5 way into the lead. What is she doing with me, he thought. Knowing she was a fair person, he figured the only reason Trixie was with him was because Jake had been driving dirty. After about five minutes of silence, Speed couldn't take it anymore so he pulled over on the side of the rode. He sat there looking forward for a minute staring out into space still not sure of what to say or do.
Trixie just knew that he was going to tell her to get out of the Mach 5. She figured he thought she had nerve to be in his car after leaving him for Jake.
Speed suddenly took off his helmet and then Trixie took off hers as well; trying to prepare herself for his possible outburst.
When he finally looked at her, she was looking down at her helmet on her lap. He knew she was special and he was lucky enough to have had her in his life once. He had to talk to her and try to get her to come back to him. "Trixie," he said calmly; making her look at him. "Did…I, I mean…did you kiss me when I was in the hospital?"
She looked back at him surprised at the question, and then after a few seconds she whispered, "Yes."
Suddenly he realized he couldn't talk anymore because of the overwhelming need of wanting to touch her. Just the sound of her sweet voice admitting that she had kissed him made him want to kiss her right there and then, before they could even discuss what had happened.
She wasn't sure what she read in Speed's eyes, but then he leaned to her and put his hand on her face as he began to look deeply into her eyes.
The touch of his hand made her heart race and she had to catch her breath. His blue eyes had power that imprisoned hers to only see him, forgetting everything around them. She couldn't move and felt like her heart was going to jump out of her chest.
He smelled her sweet perfume, which now brought back some incredible memories of them together as her spell was cast over him once again. His face began to move closer to hers and her eyes closed as his lips touched hers for a tender kiss. His hand went into the back of her hair as he kissed her over and over again softly making her hand automatically lift and rest on his shoulder. They tilted their heads and the kiss deepened as they gave into each other's passion. Each had no desire to stop at all as they continued on cloud 9. Her hand, which was on his shoulder, began to move up and into the back of his hair and then…a horn from a car passing broke their kiss and they abruptly let go of each other. Speed looked at the road and said, "Let's do it." He waited for her to put her helmet on and she knew he wanted to win this race with her after the couple he had lost without her.
As they pulled off, Trixie couldn't believe that they had just kissed. Then she thought about him asking her if she kissed him in the hospital and figured that he knew she still cared for him if she had been there and kissed him.
Through out the rest of the race, when he wasn't shifting gears, he was holding her hand.
Speed was first to cross the finish line and the crowd went wild. They were glad to see the old Speed Racer back. For Speed and Trixie, it felt like the first time that they won a race together.
"I'll be damned," Racer X said smiling when he saw her in the car with his younger brother.
Before everyone could run up to them, Speed jumped out pulling on Trixie's hand making her follow him. He pulled her into a room under the stands closing and locking the door behind them.
"I need to talk to you," he said standing about five feet away from her.
"Now?" Trixie asked hearing the crowd roaring.
"I don't care about that right now," he said very seriously.
"Okay," she said making him realize just how much he had missed the sound of her voice.
"I've been wanting to tell you that I'm sorry. I know now that I was such a jerk in Europe and that's why you left me."
"I was going to talk to you first, but some way or another Jake showed up at the track convincing me to go with him."
"I wouldn't have let you go if we would have spoken."
Trixie looked back at Speed wondering if he was telling the truth. Hadn't he been hung up on Gem at the time?
As if Speed could read her mind, he said, "If it were possible to go back in time to Europe again, I would change everything. I wouldn't have hurt you the way that I did."
"We can't go back," Trixie said softly; looking sad as she wondered if he would really be able to control himself around Gem if she were ever in the picture again.
"Do you have feelings for Jake?" Speed asked hoping his suspicions about the kiss in the hospital were true, that she must have stilled cared for him and not Jake.
"I never had feelings for Jake," Trixie admitted making Speed feel relieved till a tear rolled down her face.
"What's wrong?" he asked concerned while moving closer to her.
With her voice a little shaky, she said, "You did have feelings for Gem; more than you ever had for me."
Speed shook his head vigorously and said, "No, that's not true." He now knew for sure that what he had done in Europe, had torn Trixie's heart out.
"What if Gem came back into your life again?" Trixie asked softly.
"She was in town a week ago trying to get to me but I stayed away from her."
"She was in town?" Trixie asked surprised; missing the rest of his sentence.
Speed saw the fear in Trixie's eyes and it hurt him that he had hurt her that much. He moved yet another foot closer to her and said, "I didn't see her because I don't want her. I only want you. I need you."
"But...but, you didn't want me in Europe," she said with obvious pain in her voice.
"I know because of what happened it might be hard for you to believe this but there was never a time since we met that I stopped wanting you. I just never thought about the consequences of my actions with Gem because I took for granted that you would always be there. If I had known I would lose you, I wouldn't have paid any attention to her. I did give her attention because I was scared of the feelings I had been having for you."
"What do you mean?" Trixie asked a bit confused. What were the feelings he was scared of having for her?
"I let Gem hang on me because I didn't want anyone but you for a long time and that suddenly started to...scare me. When we got to Europe, I decided to pull away from you by making myself more or less available to someone else."
"But why?" Trixie asked looking more confused.
"Because you had control over me."
"Control?"
"Before I met you, I always said I didn't want to be tied down."
"I didn't know I was so possessive," Trixie said defensively.
"No, that's not what I mean," Speed said not wanting her to get upset. "Trixie, I was so in love with you that I couldn't do anything without thinking of you first."
There was a silence because Trixie had never heard the word love out of Speed's mouth before, even during their best times. "You...you loved me?"
"I still do. I never felt anything even close to that for Gem or anyone else. I think I fell in love with you that first week we were together. I love you, Trixie," he said again very strongly.
She was still looking at him like she was in shock. She had dreamt of hearing that from him for over a year now and now here he was declaring his love for her with his big, blue eyes staring into hers.
Since there was no response from her, Speed wondered if any possible love she might have had for him disappeared after what had happened in Europe. He looked down sadly but then she said his name as tears rolled down her face.
Lifting his questioning face back up, he waited to hear her say that it was too late.
"Speed, I love you too. No matter how hard I tried not to, and believe me I tried, I couldn't stop."
With that, he pulled her into his arms and said, "Thank God." They hugged a good while then he whispered, "Please don't leave me again."
"I didn't want to," she said hugging him back tightly.
"It was my fault, I know. But I'm not letting you go again; ever," he said kissing her shoulder.