TITLE: Playing for Keeps (4/5)
AUTHOR: Kansas J. Miller
PAIRING: CJ/Charlie
RATING: PG-13
SPOILERS: "Debate Camp"
DISCLAIMER: CJ, Charlie and all of the "West Wing" character belong to Aaron Sorkin. Clearly, 'cause I doubt he'd be having them do this.
AUTHOR NOTE: This is part four out of five. Thanks for the continued reader support and of course to Rhonda for all the professional beta-ing. You're the best!
~*~
CJ walked down the hallway, striding into Leo's office just in time for the [latest campaign strategy meeting.
"CJ, the press is all set? Did you manage to coax a few of them into joining us on our weekend retreat?" Leo asked, looking up from the papers on his desk.
CJ nodded. "It's a larger group than I thought. I guess with only one debate on the line, the forty-eight hour prep session just became a whole lot more important. Not to mention interesting."
"We're insane," Toby moaned under his breath, looking up at the ceiling.
"Toby." Sam and Josh breathed out together, while CJ and Leo turned their stares on the Communications Director.
"What?" Toby held up his hands innocently. "I'm on board, I'm on board."
"Good," Josh said, looking back at CJ, and then sneaking a sideways glance at Toby. It had been her brainchild, one that was risky and exciting, full of potential success and failure, all at the same time. Toby had been appalled at the idea, only grudgingly accepting the premise once he'd realized that no matter how much he argued and protested, the President had made his decision. Josh wondered if their long friendship would survive if the debate went badly.
"The President was asking for you earlier, and he's free now, so go on in there." Leo directed his words to CJ, glancing at the door that connected his office to the Oval.
Nodding, CJ walked past Josh and stepped around a frowning Toby. As the meeting continued behind her, CJ passed into the narrow hallway and rapped softly on the door before opening it. Stepping into the Oval Office, its majestic appearance caught her off guard, just like it used to do in the early months of the administration.
"Mr. President? Leo said you needed me."
The President looked up from where he sat at the desk and with a smile, waved her closer. Their exchange was brief and to the point.
CJ found herself exiting the room with the familiar nerves that frequently came upon her at the chance of meeting Charlie.
As she passed by his desk, he looked up and nodded.
She did the same and forced a smile, offering a simple, "Hey Charlie."
"Hey, CJ."
And that was all; she found the hallway and soon her office. As she sat behind her own desk, CJ wondered for the hundredth time what it was about the situation that made things so strange, so awkward between them.
The night that he'd taken her home had ended pleasantly, or so CJ had thought. They'd shared a kiss, she'd admitted her need for companionship, and she and Charlie had played Scrabble until it was very late. They'd fallen asleep tucked tightly together, intimately but not sexually. It had been a great comfort and for the briefest of moments as she drifted off to sleep in his arms, CJ had wondered where it would lead.
But Charlie had been gone in the morning and they'd never spoken about that night, that kiss.
The three weeks that had passed in between that night and this day were filled with excruciatingly long hours, fast-paced campaigning and tense meetings. As the election drew nearer, CJ found herself spending more and more time locked up with the senior staff and Bruno; she hardly had personal time, much less a moment alone with Charlie.
Still, CJ knew that if he'd really wanted to, Charlie could have sought her out and discussed the matter. Likewise, she could have done the same, but her feelings of guilt kept quelling that idea. An irritating voice in her head kept telling her that she was too old for a guy like Charlie. More importantly, it was excruciatingly embarrassing that she, of all people, might have put him in a position where he'd been intimidated into accepting her advances, or more realistically, she admitted with a grimace, felt compelled to baby-sit her.
The whole thing was rash and stupid, and as CJ turned back to her laptop, she resolved to forget the entire matter, once and for all.
~*~
Obviously, CJ regretted kissing him. That was Charlie's appraisal of the situation, for if she'd really wanted to initiate another encounter, it wouldn't have been too hard. Sure, he'd left early that morning to finish typing a research paper that had been due that day. Almost a quarter of his poly-sci grade had been on the line. But, he'd expected to talk with her later that day. Maybe ask her to have dinner with him. But by the time he saw her that afternoon, he realized that he'd lost the moment. She passed by him in the hallway with barely a nod to acknowledge his presence. He knew then that maybe their time together hadn't been important to her, or that she wanted to pretend
it hadn't happened.
Charlie shook his head, totally unfocussed on his work, thoughts of CJ's mouth and taste continuing to float through his mind.
Three weeks had passed and Charlie often thought of kissing CJ again, of touching her, of taking it farther. But shyness came upon him each time he replayed their kiss in his mind; he was too inexperienced for a woman like CJ - she'd probably had a good laugh about his clumsy pass.
Hence, Charlie was actively avoiding any time alone with the Press Secretary. It wasn't worth feeling stupid over, though Charlie couldn't quite shake the feeling that there was, or could be, something more than friendship between them.
But fully aware of her maturity and his own insecurities, Charlie knew that their relationship was perpetually stuck in neutral. He didn't know how to move forward to reach her and she'd surely not move backwards to find him. Fifteen years lay between them, and a whole lot more besides.
~*~
"We're supposed to be in." CJ looked at a map of the complex and then turned it a different way. She looked up, over her shoulder, and pointed to a large stone building. ".That one over there! At one o'clock," she exclaimed triumphantly.
Josh raised a brow and shouldered his overnight bag. "Whatever. I'm getting settled in, I'll meet you guys over there."
Sam followed Josh, and with Toby nowhere to be found, CJ stood alone with her map. The center was very large, taking up quite a bit of land. It was beautiful and there were some interesting facilities on the map. Looking up again, she saw Charlie approaching with his own overnight bag.
"You're not lost, are you?" he asked lightly, indicating the map.
Folding it, CJ smiled. "No. I'm going to my cabin. Where's yours?"
Charlie pointed in the general direction of CJ's. "Need help with your bag?" he asked, looked down at the bag by CJ's feet.
In response, CJ easily hoisted up the duffel and slung it over her shoulder. With a wink, she began to walk.
Stifling a laugh, Charlie followed through the small grassy quad and through some sparse trees. There were numerous, small, high maintenance cabins scattered around the area.
"This is cute. It's like summer camp," CJ commented, finding the cabin assigned to her.
"I never went to summer camp," Charlie responded, secretly pleased that his cabin was across from CJ's. "But I can appreciate the sentiment."
"You poor kid," CJ snickered, instantly aware that while her comment was a joke, it was also a testament to Charlie's young age. The last thing she wanted to be doing was emphasizing his technical immaturity.
Charlie's smile had disappeared at her comment. He'd nodded and walked the few feet over to his cabin.
"Hey, Charlie, wait," she shouted, spinning around just before Charlie could enter the building.
"Yeah?" he asked, dropping his bag in the doorway and watching as she approached.
"I've been meaning to talk to you," CJ began nervously, deciding that she'd likely not get another private moment with him. She needed to get this out before it completely ate away at the remains of her sanity. "I've been thinking about that night, a couple weeks ago."
"So have I," Charlie admitted, his tone shy and his eyes slightly afraid to meet hers. He stuffed his hands in his pockets and took a few steps closer to her.
"I never meant to make things uncomfortable," CJ offered in her best professional tone. Detachment was best. "I just wanted to apologize. If I did anything to . . ."
"You didn't make me uncomfortable," Charlie interrupted, the honesty of his words reflected in his eyes as they finally found CJ's. They now stood but a mere foot a part. "I thought it was me who owed an apology."
"Are we saying that we both liked it, then?" CJ chuckled, rolling her eyes at the absurdity that was her life.
Before Charlie could answer, Josh and Sam came noisily bounding down the pathway.
"CJ, ditch your stuff, let's go," Josh called, eyeing oddly the close proximity of the young aide to the Press Secretary.
"The President's ready for us in the lodge," Sam added, cocking his head in the direction that they'd come from.
CJ nodded tensely, and turned to put her bag inside her nearby cabin. When she came back outside to head for the lodge, Charlie was gone.
~*~
It was almost time to begin another mock-debate and Josh was on the phone with Amy. CJ was poised with a pencil, ready to scribble at a moment's notice, while Sam worked on their answers to the other questions.
"We got something from Amy," CJ announced to Toby.
Charlie was right behind. "He was wondering-the team Toby meeting-Toby doesn't need to be there, right?"
CJ snickered. Toby was trying to get Andrea to remarry him, for reasons passing understanding. But if that's what her friend wanted, she'd be there to support him.
"I wasn't really wondering," Toby smirked. He was playing the annoyed card, but CJ suspected Toby secretly liked the idea that everyone was behind him.
"Why don't you just do your job as a man and get that nice girl pregnant?" Josh kidded.
CJ went back to the paperwork on her lap, slightly aware of Charlie's presence. Their encounter near the cabins earlier in the day had left a lot on her mind; it had left everything hanging.
"I did," Toby nonchalantly responded.
"What?"
"Andi's pregnant," Toby elaborated.
Everyone turned and stared, the room filled with a surprised silence. Finally Josh spoke.
"Toby, Andi's pregnant?"
"With twins."
"And they're yours?" Josh asked, bewildered. "Both of them?"
Stifling a laugh as Toby tried to gracefully exit the room, CJ whacked Josh with her magazine. Unbelievable. Toby and Andi as parents.CJ knew how much they'd wanted it when they were married, but now that things were different it just seemed so.well, there wasn't really a word for this kind of excitement.
Suddenly, Charlie was looking at CJ. "Well, we're gonna have to step this up now."
He was referring to team Toby, but CJ could read so much more into it. Yeah, CJ thought, following after Charlie, we both need to step it up.
AUTHOR: Kansas J. Miller
PAIRING: CJ/Charlie
RATING: PG-13
SPOILERS: "Debate Camp"
DISCLAIMER: CJ, Charlie and all of the "West Wing" character belong to Aaron Sorkin. Clearly, 'cause I doubt he'd be having them do this.
AUTHOR NOTE: This is part four out of five. Thanks for the continued reader support and of course to Rhonda for all the professional beta-ing. You're the best!
~*~
CJ walked down the hallway, striding into Leo's office just in time for the [latest campaign strategy meeting.
"CJ, the press is all set? Did you manage to coax a few of them into joining us on our weekend retreat?" Leo asked, looking up from the papers on his desk.
CJ nodded. "It's a larger group than I thought. I guess with only one debate on the line, the forty-eight hour prep session just became a whole lot more important. Not to mention interesting."
"We're insane," Toby moaned under his breath, looking up at the ceiling.
"Toby." Sam and Josh breathed out together, while CJ and Leo turned their stares on the Communications Director.
"What?" Toby held up his hands innocently. "I'm on board, I'm on board."
"Good," Josh said, looking back at CJ, and then sneaking a sideways glance at Toby. It had been her brainchild, one that was risky and exciting, full of potential success and failure, all at the same time. Toby had been appalled at the idea, only grudgingly accepting the premise once he'd realized that no matter how much he argued and protested, the President had made his decision. Josh wondered if their long friendship would survive if the debate went badly.
"The President was asking for you earlier, and he's free now, so go on in there." Leo directed his words to CJ, glancing at the door that connected his office to the Oval.
Nodding, CJ walked past Josh and stepped around a frowning Toby. As the meeting continued behind her, CJ passed into the narrow hallway and rapped softly on the door before opening it. Stepping into the Oval Office, its majestic appearance caught her off guard, just like it used to do in the early months of the administration.
"Mr. President? Leo said you needed me."
The President looked up from where he sat at the desk and with a smile, waved her closer. Their exchange was brief and to the point.
CJ found herself exiting the room with the familiar nerves that frequently came upon her at the chance of meeting Charlie.
As she passed by his desk, he looked up and nodded.
She did the same and forced a smile, offering a simple, "Hey Charlie."
"Hey, CJ."
And that was all; she found the hallway and soon her office. As she sat behind her own desk, CJ wondered for the hundredth time what it was about the situation that made things so strange, so awkward between them.
The night that he'd taken her home had ended pleasantly, or so CJ had thought. They'd shared a kiss, she'd admitted her need for companionship, and she and Charlie had played Scrabble until it was very late. They'd fallen asleep tucked tightly together, intimately but not sexually. It had been a great comfort and for the briefest of moments as she drifted off to sleep in his arms, CJ had wondered where it would lead.
But Charlie had been gone in the morning and they'd never spoken about that night, that kiss.
The three weeks that had passed in between that night and this day were filled with excruciatingly long hours, fast-paced campaigning and tense meetings. As the election drew nearer, CJ found herself spending more and more time locked up with the senior staff and Bruno; she hardly had personal time, much less a moment alone with Charlie.
Still, CJ knew that if he'd really wanted to, Charlie could have sought her out and discussed the matter. Likewise, she could have done the same, but her feelings of guilt kept quelling that idea. An irritating voice in her head kept telling her that she was too old for a guy like Charlie. More importantly, it was excruciatingly embarrassing that she, of all people, might have put him in a position where he'd been intimidated into accepting her advances, or more realistically, she admitted with a grimace, felt compelled to baby-sit her.
The whole thing was rash and stupid, and as CJ turned back to her laptop, she resolved to forget the entire matter, once and for all.
~*~
Obviously, CJ regretted kissing him. That was Charlie's appraisal of the situation, for if she'd really wanted to initiate another encounter, it wouldn't have been too hard. Sure, he'd left early that morning to finish typing a research paper that had been due that day. Almost a quarter of his poly-sci grade had been on the line. But, he'd expected to talk with her later that day. Maybe ask her to have dinner with him. But by the time he saw her that afternoon, he realized that he'd lost the moment. She passed by him in the hallway with barely a nod to acknowledge his presence. He knew then that maybe their time together hadn't been important to her, or that she wanted to pretend
it hadn't happened.
Charlie shook his head, totally unfocussed on his work, thoughts of CJ's mouth and taste continuing to float through his mind.
Three weeks had passed and Charlie often thought of kissing CJ again, of touching her, of taking it farther. But shyness came upon him each time he replayed their kiss in his mind; he was too inexperienced for a woman like CJ - she'd probably had a good laugh about his clumsy pass.
Hence, Charlie was actively avoiding any time alone with the Press Secretary. It wasn't worth feeling stupid over, though Charlie couldn't quite shake the feeling that there was, or could be, something more than friendship between them.
But fully aware of her maturity and his own insecurities, Charlie knew that their relationship was perpetually stuck in neutral. He didn't know how to move forward to reach her and she'd surely not move backwards to find him. Fifteen years lay between them, and a whole lot more besides.
~*~
"We're supposed to be in." CJ looked at a map of the complex and then turned it a different way. She looked up, over her shoulder, and pointed to a large stone building. ".That one over there! At one o'clock," she exclaimed triumphantly.
Josh raised a brow and shouldered his overnight bag. "Whatever. I'm getting settled in, I'll meet you guys over there."
Sam followed Josh, and with Toby nowhere to be found, CJ stood alone with her map. The center was very large, taking up quite a bit of land. It was beautiful and there were some interesting facilities on the map. Looking up again, she saw Charlie approaching with his own overnight bag.
"You're not lost, are you?" he asked lightly, indicating the map.
Folding it, CJ smiled. "No. I'm going to my cabin. Where's yours?"
Charlie pointed in the general direction of CJ's. "Need help with your bag?" he asked, looked down at the bag by CJ's feet.
In response, CJ easily hoisted up the duffel and slung it over her shoulder. With a wink, she began to walk.
Stifling a laugh, Charlie followed through the small grassy quad and through some sparse trees. There were numerous, small, high maintenance cabins scattered around the area.
"This is cute. It's like summer camp," CJ commented, finding the cabin assigned to her.
"I never went to summer camp," Charlie responded, secretly pleased that his cabin was across from CJ's. "But I can appreciate the sentiment."
"You poor kid," CJ snickered, instantly aware that while her comment was a joke, it was also a testament to Charlie's young age. The last thing she wanted to be doing was emphasizing his technical immaturity.
Charlie's smile had disappeared at her comment. He'd nodded and walked the few feet over to his cabin.
"Hey, Charlie, wait," she shouted, spinning around just before Charlie could enter the building.
"Yeah?" he asked, dropping his bag in the doorway and watching as she approached.
"I've been meaning to talk to you," CJ began nervously, deciding that she'd likely not get another private moment with him. She needed to get this out before it completely ate away at the remains of her sanity. "I've been thinking about that night, a couple weeks ago."
"So have I," Charlie admitted, his tone shy and his eyes slightly afraid to meet hers. He stuffed his hands in his pockets and took a few steps closer to her.
"I never meant to make things uncomfortable," CJ offered in her best professional tone. Detachment was best. "I just wanted to apologize. If I did anything to . . ."
"You didn't make me uncomfortable," Charlie interrupted, the honesty of his words reflected in his eyes as they finally found CJ's. They now stood but a mere foot a part. "I thought it was me who owed an apology."
"Are we saying that we both liked it, then?" CJ chuckled, rolling her eyes at the absurdity that was her life.
Before Charlie could answer, Josh and Sam came noisily bounding down the pathway.
"CJ, ditch your stuff, let's go," Josh called, eyeing oddly the close proximity of the young aide to the Press Secretary.
"The President's ready for us in the lodge," Sam added, cocking his head in the direction that they'd come from.
CJ nodded tensely, and turned to put her bag inside her nearby cabin. When she came back outside to head for the lodge, Charlie was gone.
~*~
It was almost time to begin another mock-debate and Josh was on the phone with Amy. CJ was poised with a pencil, ready to scribble at a moment's notice, while Sam worked on their answers to the other questions.
"We got something from Amy," CJ announced to Toby.
Charlie was right behind. "He was wondering-the team Toby meeting-Toby doesn't need to be there, right?"
CJ snickered. Toby was trying to get Andrea to remarry him, for reasons passing understanding. But if that's what her friend wanted, she'd be there to support him.
"I wasn't really wondering," Toby smirked. He was playing the annoyed card, but CJ suspected Toby secretly liked the idea that everyone was behind him.
"Why don't you just do your job as a man and get that nice girl pregnant?" Josh kidded.
CJ went back to the paperwork on her lap, slightly aware of Charlie's presence. Their encounter near the cabins earlier in the day had left a lot on her mind; it had left everything hanging.
"I did," Toby nonchalantly responded.
"What?"
"Andi's pregnant," Toby elaborated.
Everyone turned and stared, the room filled with a surprised silence. Finally Josh spoke.
"Toby, Andi's pregnant?"
"With twins."
"And they're yours?" Josh asked, bewildered. "Both of them?"
Stifling a laugh as Toby tried to gracefully exit the room, CJ whacked Josh with her magazine. Unbelievable. Toby and Andi as parents.CJ knew how much they'd wanted it when they were married, but now that things were different it just seemed so.well, there wasn't really a word for this kind of excitement.
Suddenly, Charlie was looking at CJ. "Well, we're gonna have to step this up now."
He was referring to team Toby, but CJ could read so much more into it. Yeah, CJ thought, following after Charlie, we both need to step it up.