Disclaimer I own it all! Mwhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! (Please don't sue me!)
A/N The beginning might be a bit weird but it gets better I promise!
* It was dark and stormy night. The furniture was safe and peaceful…or at least it thought it was! Suddenly the sofa's cushions were ripped off and its upholstery torn into thousands of pieces leaving its insides outside! *
The next day…* dramatic drum role *
Piper: what the hell happened to the sofa!
Prue: how the hell should I know
* Phoebe bounces down the stairs on a space hopper *
Phoebe: Wow a bean bag
* Phoebe runs and lands on a stray spring. It gets stuck on her feet and she starts jumping around the room *
Prue: For the love of god Phoebe you're makin me dizzy
* Phoebe lands on Cole and the springs get stuck in his hairy chest a.k.a the doormat *
Phoebe: Sorry honey
Cole: any way you could get your springs out of my chest
Phoebe: We'll just have to wax your chest then
Cole: whaaaaa
Phoebe: a chest full of hairy hair on Cole's chest, a chest full of hairy hair on Cole's chest, And if one hairy hair was accidentally plucked out by the all knowing, all powerful, evil me, there'll be…some more hairy hairs on Cole's chest…
Prue: For the love of god stop f***ing singing
Phoebe: From now on I want you to call me Dzlembretopw
Piper: why?
Phoebe: because I am the all knowing all powerful Dzlembretopw
* All of a sudden Phoebe attacks the freezer *
Paige: Stop ruining my home
Prue: who the hell are you
Piper: I always wondered where those extra water bottles came from…and why you're always so pale
* Prue whacks Phoebe *
Paige: Omigod Chinese guy
Every1: WHERE
Paige: o its Cole
Prue: he's Australian
Piper: Shhhhh he's supposed to be American
Phoebe: I'm going upstairs to pluck nose hair!
Prue: did I miss something?
* Phoebe is in the bathroom trying to get rid of that extra unwanted nose hair when she accidentally pulls out her brain. Of course its so small she doesn't actually notice. Her brain decides to kill everything it sees. *
Phoebe: *singing…again! * I'm making nose hair go, and now it will not show, then I will eat some dough, while making nose hair go.
Brain: Jesus Christ I really don't have any influence on her. No wonder I was so god damn idle.
Phoebe: Oooo a bug! Hello Mr bug you can be my bestest friend ever…
Bug: Holy S***
Brain: I gotta get outa here
Phoebe: tra laa laa
* Phoebes brain goes downstairs where it intends to cause havoc and destruction to all it meets! Mwhahahahahaha! *
Brain:Mwhahahahahahahahahahahwhahahawhahahahyahahahyyyyyhahahoooooahahahhohohohohohohoehehehehehehehehehehhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuehehehehehwhwhwhahahahawawawawawawececececcecsusususuedededealalalalalalalaladadededdqdadededyayayeyeyeyeyrerererararararararararasosososososososososoahahahahahahahaha!!
Piper: did you hear something?
Prue: No why?
Piper: nothing
* Just then Phoebe jumps down the stairs, trips and lands on he with a thud that would give a normal person permanent brain damage but of course Phoebe nolonger has a brain so it doesn't affect her *
Phoebe: lolly socca!
Piper: what?
Phoebe: freezers are cold! Paige lives in a freezer! Lolly socca!
* Suddenly a warlock climbed through the cat flap and was gonna kill them al when he tripped over Phoebe's brain *
Warlock: What the hell is that?
Prue: huh?
Warlock: that, that thing!
Phoebe: Ooh a thing! It can be my friend!
Brain: I am Phoebes brain and I am going to kill you all! Mwhahahahyeyeyeyeyeyayayayayayahahahahehehe
Lalalalalalalelelelelelelallaalalalalsasasasasasososososeseseseararararsrsrsrerererdrdrddradratatatatatetetetetetetetetetararararqrawawawawawawewewewewewehahhahahhehehehahahhqhohohohohohohahaha!
Phoebe: So are you going to be my friend or not?
Brain: No! I would never be you're friend! You are just a stupid loony idiot! I don't even like you and I'm you're brain!
Phoebe: you're horrible! I am not stupid!
Brain: what's 1 + 1?
Phoebe: 11
Brain: Point made
Prue: wait, if you're Phoebes brain how come you know what 1 + 1 is?
Brain: Cuz Phoebe never worked out how to use me! And now I will kill you all!
Warlock: Hey that's my job!
* Suddenly the brain jumped inside the warlock's ear and beat the warlock's brain at poker *
Brain: Now you must leave! Mwahahahahahahahahehehehehehdedededekillladadadadadadaerererererersr srsrsesesesesejojojojojojojojudieououououohuhuuhdieuhuhuhuhuhuhugukillgugugygygygygygfyfyfyfyfctctctdtastatatatatettetetererererasasasassdsdsdsdsfefefefedfzfzfzfztztztztzvzvzvzvzvznznznznasasasaesehahahahahah!
Piper: Do you have to do that?
Brain: Do what?
Piper: that laugh thing
Brain: what? This…Mwhahahahahehehehehhaahahahdadadadededededsrsrsrseaeaeaesusususuyayayayaye
Ooooooouuuuunonononenennenenrnrnrnrnrnfnfnfnfeeeflalalaladededdededdadadadadadahahahahhohohohohoeyeyeyeyryryryryeeyeyeydydydydyryryryatatatatathahahahahahahahahahaah!
Piper: Yes that!
Brain: Its there for dramatic effect
Piper: Well just cut it out!
Brain: No! I am the big evil! I am going to rule the world! Mwhahahhehehehlalal…
Piper: No! You are not doing that again!
Phoebe: Wow! Look a big umbrella is flying in the sky!
Piper: Yeah right Phoebe, like I'm gonna believe that!
* Just then a big umbrella fly's into the house and pokes Prue in the eye! *
Prue: Owwwww
Paige: *Omigod she's actually out of the freezer! * Dude you've got an umbrella in your eye!
Prue: Owwwww * collapses *
Paige: sweet!
Warlock: Hey I think she's dead
Paige: sweet! Hey dude you're dead
Warlock: aren't you gonna like move the decaying corpse out of your kitchen?
Paige: Dude aren't you gonna move your ass out of this kitchen you were supposed to be gone ages ago
Warlock: Oh yeah
* In comes Cole, out goes Phoebe *
Paige: Dude where's my sister?
Cole: Where's your sister dude?
Paige: Dude where's my sister?
Cole: Where's your sister dude?
Paige: Dude where's my sister?
Piper: will you two stop
Paige: I've got a plan
Piper: Plan? Plan for what?
Paige: To stop Phoebe's evil brain
Piper: Okay tell me
Paige: First we find Phoebe
Cole: and then?
Paige: then we get rid of the corpse
Cole: and then?
Paige: then we find Phoebes brain and destroy it
Cole: and then?
Paige: And then we go home
Cole: and then?
Paige: and then that's it, we're done
Cole: and then?
Paige: no that's it, that's my plan
Cole: and then?
Paige: look that's it that's all of my plan
Cole: and then?
Paige: no, no and then
Cole: and then?
Paige: no and then
Cole: and then?
Paige: Cole I mean it, if you say and then one more time I'm gonna take that umbrella out of Prue's decaying corpse and ram it up your ass!
Cole: …and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then
Piper: you guys just break it up alright?
Cole: and then?
Piper: just break it up
Cole: and then?
* Paige punches Cole and knocks him out! Yay! *
Paige: man that was annoying
* S*** Phoebes back *
Phoebe: Dzlembretopw!
Piper: huh?
Phoebe: Dzlembretopw!
Warlock: what the hell does that mean?
Paige: why are you still here?
Warlock: I'm going
Brain: have you forgotten that I am still here! You have just told me your plan! Mwahahah…
Piper: No! You are not doing that stupid laugh thing again and FIY since when have we ever used one of Paige's plans
Paige: but it's a really great plan
Piper: No Paige, it sucks
* Leo has entered the room *
Leo: what the *!?*$£!!?~#*^$!£%?! is that smell?
Piper: dead Prue
Leo: oh
Brain: I killed her
Piper: actually a flying umbrella did
Warlock: Omigod a rat!
Paige: Dude that's a cat!
Warlock: no way it's all…ratty
Paige: Dude that is so a cat…hey weren't you leaving?
Warlock: Oh yeah
Prue: hey who are you?
Warlock: I'm leaving
Prue: really? Man that's a weird name; you must really hate your parents
Warlock: No, I mean…hey aren't you dead?
Prue: really? Wow that explains a lot! Like why I have an umbrella sticking out of my eye
Warlock: don't worry about it you hardly notice it
Brain: why are you still alive? You were supposed to die a horrible death!
Prue: come on! I didn't wanna be the first victim!
Piper: Prue you are the first victim, I mean you did die an all, and you were all dead and…
Prue: babbling
Brain: great! Now I have to find someone else to kill
Piper: how about Phoebe?
Brain: I would but if she dies I die so there a major floor in that plan plus she's busy trying to see if she can cook her own arm
Phoebe: Wow it's hot!
Brain: well it's either Piper or Paige
Paige: why not kill one of the guys, like Leo?
Brain: already dead
Paige: Cole?
Brain: Naa, I kinda like him
Paige: why?
Brain: will you just decide?
Paige: wanna rock paper scissors for it?
Piper: Okay
* Paige gets paper, Piper gets scissors. Guess who dies *
Warlock: interesting twist
Prue: huh?
Warlock: Well, Piper always dies.
Piper: good point, why is that?
Prue: middle child?
Piper: not any more and I still died in…
Brain: Mwhahah…
Piper: I mean it, no more evil laughing
* Paige tries to use this time to escape through the electric cat flap *
Paige: help!
Prue: I would help you but you know umbrella in my eye an all
Paige: Piper?
Piper: what?
Paige: help!
Piper: oh, right
Phoebe: must save the innocents!
Paige: oh s***!
* Phoebe goes to help Paige but accidentally steps on the close cat flap switch and Paige gets chopped in half! Blood, Guts, Spleen, liver, blood, more blood, wow! What a lot of blood, I didn't know you could get that much blood out of someone, holy…okay, okay I get it enough blood *
Phoebe: oops
Warlock: I think shes dead
Piper: really? I thought she was taking a nap
Warlock: really?
Piper: what is it with you evil people? Huh? Never heard of sarcasm?
Warlock: yeah
Prue: leaving
Warlock: huh?
Prue: isn't that your name? I asked and you said you were leaving
Warlock: I was…
Prue: you changed your name? Wow! I wouldn't mind doing that
Piper: what's wrong with Prue?
Prue: sounds like prune
Piper: what about Prudence?
Prue: sounds like a car
Leo: what's that smell
Prue: might be me, I mean I was dead
Leo: ewww what's that?
Prue: Paige
Leo: ewwww…hey weren't you dead?
Piper: where the hell have you been? She's been undead for ages
Leo: chillin'
Warlock: did you watch that show about those witches and demons and stuff
Leo: yeah, its great show isn't it
Warlock: yeah I love that show
Leo: totally unbelievable but great
Piper: weren't you leaving
Warlock: yeah…
Prue: so you didn't change your name
Warlock: I…
* Omigod Cole's awake *
Cole: what the… haha Paige is dead!
Paige: undead
Cole: huh?
Paige: I said undead dude
Warlock: that's the second time that's happened
Paige: hey dude are you still here?
Warlock: dude you know your still dead
Paige: I'm dead?
Warlock: yeah your legs are over there
Paige: whoa!
Piper: wait didn't you know
Paige: no
Piper: but you said you were undead therefore you must have known you were dead to be able to know that you were undead as in dead yet still not dead
Paige: huh?
Cole: anyone else confused?
Paige: yeah!
* All of a sudden Phoebe steps backwards and squashes her own brain *
Phoebe: Oooo juice
* Phoebe drinks juice from her brain thinking its o.j *
Piper: is Phoebe drinking herself
Prue: yeah I think so
Paige: sweet!
Leo: ewwww
Piper: isn't that cannibalism
Prue: probably
* Suddenly Phoebe dies of brain poisoning, yay! *
Piper: hey is Phoebe dead?
Prue: Yeah I think so
Paige: lets party!
Cole: We're all gonna party cuz Phoebes dead,
She drunk brain juice from her own head!
Paige: She got springs stuck in Cole's chest
Phoebe was always such a pest
Piper: a flying umbrella hit Prues eye
Went into her head and made her die
Prue: Paige was killed by the cat's door
Out of her body came blood and gore
Leo: Both Prue and Paige came back again
And Cole couldn't stop saying and then
Warlock: I tried to attack but decided to stay
I've been in this house all day!
Kit: You people broke my new cat flap
You're gonna die so stop this rap!
Cole: but you are just a dumb old cat
What you gonna do? This and that?
Kit: I'm gonna make you wish you weren't born
Then I'll bury you under the lawn
Piper: Come on Kit, I was always your friend
Do I really have to die at the end?
Kit: I'm not letting anyone go
I'm not a nice cat, didn't you know
Prue: don't kill us Kit, come on, wait
Put the weapons down, negotiate
Kit: use your power, you can try
Won't work with that stuck in your eye
Warlock: right I'm going I'll see you soon
Though you'll probably be dead by noon
Kit: enough rapping I'm gonna shoot you all
You're just too good, and way too tall
*Kit gets out a huge rival and kills everyone! Mwhahahahaha! With the exception of Paige and Prue who are already dead but they decided to go to heaven for the hell of it *
* In heaven *
Prue: we died?
Piper: wouldn't be the first time
Prue: but we never die, well I mean we do but not for good!
Paige: yeah we always save the day
Cole: and then?
Paige: you know we go home save more innocents
Cole: and then?
Paige: I am not looking forward to spending the rest of my death with him
Phoebe: Cooooole!
Cole: or that
Phoebe: hello Mr coley woley!
Cole: go away!
Phoebe: don't be horrible! I know you don't mean it
Cole: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh…