KIMAHRI'S MAGICAL TALE OF VII
~Yes, magical tale....of magic! Sorry it took so long but "Kimahri Says" got deleted. And I'm also a slack bitch. Kingdom Hearts also isn't helping the problem.~ Silver Neko, feeling bloated for some reason.
"So There they am: Cloud guy in drag, Boob chick and Flower girl, all standing in front of horrible horny THING that am Pimp Man. The funky horror. He do happy dance and pick who he want to do: Cloud guy (remember, he look like female of the species then!). Cloud guy let out silent scream of unfathomable spookiness as he was dragged into the bowels of Pimp man's bedroom. Flower girl and Boob chick are secretly amused by this.
As Pimp man lay on bed and make very poor pick up line talky, Cloud guy think about sweet eternal slumber that am death. Then Flower girl and Boob chick burst into room before Cloud guy lose his anal innocence. Yay for Cloud guy! They then undress and redress (Much to Pimp man's glee) and then threaten to castrate Pimp person if he no talky. This fill Pimp man with great fear and he spill beans. He say he was hired by Evil Corporation to find AVALANCHE TEAM OF IMPENDING HUGS hideout.
He say that Evil corporation would then destroy hideout by making support pillar of Sector 7 not there any more and smash slums to goo and fire. Kimahri going to make silly guess that this am bad thing. Just as trio of doom about to merrily on their way, Pimp man decide to be poopy and flush 'em into icky sewer. He then laugh and have heart failure. VICTORY! In sewer, Trio of doom get attacked by horrible dirty water monster with super flush attack of yuck juice. They make it not live not no more.
They travel through horrible sewer until they enter equally horrible dead train place of death. After many annoying running arounds and Cloud guy yelling at sky for being there to mock him, they get out and am right next to Pillar for Slums. Uh oh! It seem that evil corporation there! AVALANCHE TEAM OF STUFF am fighting them for great justice! Cloud guy yell at Flower girl to go save Gun man's "daughter" from smashy doom. Flower girl obey! So Cloud guy and Boob chick climb up pillar and see that all of AVALANCHE TEAM OF NOT STAYING ALIVE am dead and dying. Whoohoo!
At top, Gun man am feebly warding off forces of evil and monkeys. He happy/disappointed to see Cloud guy. Somewhere in-between. Oh no! It Jerk man #1 again! Gasp! He push shiny red button that start countdown of doom for pillar! When Cloud guy, Gun man and Boob chick make Jerk man #1 hurt with super no happy pain, he jump on Helicopter and show that he have Flower girl! He say somthing about her being "Ancient". Flower girl cry and say that Gun man's kid am with Flower girl's momma. Jerk man #1 the kick her in ribs. Cloud guy scream with agony because his emotion thingy is rupturing with emotion that am not hate, but something that burns with burning in his belly.
Helicopter take off and there no way to stop horrible countdown. Gun man, Boob chick and Cloud guy jump on cable and swing to safety as Pillar explode and send chunk of city raining down on slums. DEATH FROM ABOVE! After daring escape from doom, Gun man cry and fire gun in random directions, killing off the few Pidgins who survived. Cloud Guy want to know more about "Ancient" thingy. SUDDENLY, he get head voices. He stop drop and roll until they go away. They head to Flower girl's house to find Gun man's kid am ok. They promise Flower mommy that they gunna save Flower girl. So Trio of Doom then decide to head for Wall market to decide what to do. There, they run into group of hooligan kids who lead them to cable that lead up to city. With convenient purchase of Batteries, Trio of Doom am able to climb up horrible cable of breezy wind that make Cloud guy's hair go into eyes and mouth, causing him to tumble to his doom, but then he get better.
Once they reach top of thingy, they con-veen-yantly was at Evil corporation headquarters. Convenient! Cloud guy and Boob chick want to take the stairs. Gun man though, is lazy and violent AND the leader, so in a flurry of yelling and aiming various weapons at spooked employees, Trio of Doom enter evil corporation headquarters. After many fighting, they do Metal Gear style sneaky to reach the top of evil building. After MUCH MUCH MUCH stair walky/fighting, Cloud guy go into executive only bathroom and sneak into air duct. In air duct, Cloud guy spy on super secret meeting of corporate pigs who want to experiment on Flower girl. Oh! That sound dirty. When Cloud guy get out of and tell Gun man and Boob Chick, they get upset like a old lazy cat that's been picked up by 5 year old. That pretty upset.
As Trio of stuff wonder blindly around evil corporation building, they find crazy Scientist man (He crazy!) who they follow into secret laboratory. Inside, Cloud guy peek into tank and see something that make him scream scream scream like finding out that horrible Black Widow spider lives in the back of your car(And it does!~Silver Neko). After reviving Cloud guy with the lure of Boob chick's boobs of bouncy goodness, the 3 thingies run into next lab and see Flower girl and Red cat (Also known as Kimahri Jr ^0^ Ohohoh!) who am THIS close to forced mating. Kimahri would buy THAT for a dollar!
Cloud guy and others bust Flower girl out of tube. Flower girl squeal with delight. Flower girl glomp onto Cloud guy's torso. She squeeze his no no place(His booty) right in font of Boob chick. Oh the hilarity that ensued. Crazy scientist man(He so crazy!) not amused. He being cornered by angry, angry Red cat with disturbingly good English. He have better Grammar than Kimahri. Sniff. Crazy scientist man(With craziness!) send robot monster on....group...uh...of.....hero people. Monster try his gosh darn best to make the hero people not alive, but he fail.
Just as hero people about to victoriously flee, Jerk man #2 and #3 catch 'em and take to President evil man of evil corporation. Ooooo! President evil stupidly tells bound and gagged hero persons about the "Ancients" or even more fancy name: Cetra. He say that he gunna use Flower girl to get to Promised land full of Mako juice. He then laugh for half hour while hero people am forced to watch. He SO evil. He then have them sent to cells with no dinner. In jail, every one whine about stuff and Red cat cry about his grandpa while Gun man laugh at the concept of Red cat having a grandpa. Gun man so mean. Cloud guy, tired from the thing know as "Existence", decide to take well deserved nap.
After long nap of Doom, Cloud guy get up and depressedly lean against the cold door of cell. Well what do Kimahri know? Door am open! Cloud guy get out and take key for other cells from cold hands of dead guard. That spook him a bit, and he pretty hard to spook! He free others and they find lab men all dead and thingy in tank am gone like Cloud guy's will to live. They then merrily follow trail of blood to President Evil's office. Whoop! It seem he dead! Cloud guy announce that Spooky dude has done the killy to evil dead guy. Outside of office, on roof, President evil's son, "President bum" land fancy helicopter on roof and announce that now he am leader of evil corporation. Then, from somewhere far away, an old man's voice scream, "Why gawd?! WHYYY!?" There then an uncomfortable silence.
Cloud guy the scream at everyone to go away. He want to kill bum child of evil president. They am happy to comply. Hero persons (Minus Cloud guy) flee to elevator. But oh no for them! Bad robot thing try to kill them! But hah! They kill first! Happy dance! Cloud guy and President Bum am having heated discussion of why President bum sucks and that Cloud guy can't let him or Spooky dude have Promised land. This anger President bum GREATLY! He pull put Poke ball and call on evil doggie to kill! But Cloud guy kill doggie first! Bum child then do like his dead papa and escape on helicopter with free peanuts. It then that Cloud guy realize that he no have eat, drink or pee pee for at least 2 days, and he feel fine. This somehow bother Cloud guy.
Cloud guy meet team in lobby. They then steal display truck and fancy new model motorcycle that not available to public until next year. NO DUE 'TIL NEXT YEAR! Can they no read?! Anyway, hero's escape onto strangely deserted highway. Poop! They being pursued by evil corporation motorcycle men! But thanks to Cloud guy's big ass sword of JUSTICE, evil bikers am driven off side of road to explode in fiery vengeance. At dead end of road, bad robot thingy guy attack, but it am failure like others who try to kill unlikely group of heroes. After magical talky, Cloud guy announce that he going to travel world to make Spooky dude dead. Of course Flower girl will follow poor Cloud guy to heck and back, so he stuck with her. And Gun man am wanted man in Midgar, so he decide to come and help save planet and stop sea pollution. AND Boob chick, like Flower girl, wants to make Cloud guy her personal Bishounen Koneko of love, so OF COURSE she coming too. It truly am the true start of this horrible journey of DOOM and STUFF! Please kill Kimahri now. We only 1% into story. Kimahri hurts all over."
~Kimahri feels my pain. I am GOING to finish this! No matter how LAZY I am, and no matter how much school wants to suck out my will to write, and no matter how much Kingdom Hearts and Animal Crossing want me to pay attention to them, and no matter how much I'm DYING to write a Kingdom Hearts Kimahri fic (Oh how easy it is to make jokes about that game), and no matter how much my belly wants me to feed it, I'M GOING TO DO EET! I'm going to finish this! Why does it seem that FF 10, 9 and 8 have shorter plots? Is it because...of.....oh sweet monkey I'm tired. I gunna go rot in front of da TV now. Teeeveeee.....~Silver Neko, curse Kingdom Hearts and its catchy jingles!
~Yes, magical tale....of magic! Sorry it took so long but "Kimahri Says" got deleted. And I'm also a slack bitch. Kingdom Hearts also isn't helping the problem.~ Silver Neko, feeling bloated for some reason.
"So There they am: Cloud guy in drag, Boob chick and Flower girl, all standing in front of horrible horny THING that am Pimp Man. The funky horror. He do happy dance and pick who he want to do: Cloud guy (remember, he look like female of the species then!). Cloud guy let out silent scream of unfathomable spookiness as he was dragged into the bowels of Pimp man's bedroom. Flower girl and Boob chick are secretly amused by this.
As Pimp man lay on bed and make very poor pick up line talky, Cloud guy think about sweet eternal slumber that am death. Then Flower girl and Boob chick burst into room before Cloud guy lose his anal innocence. Yay for Cloud guy! They then undress and redress (Much to Pimp man's glee) and then threaten to castrate Pimp person if he no talky. This fill Pimp man with great fear and he spill beans. He say he was hired by Evil Corporation to find AVALANCHE TEAM OF IMPENDING HUGS hideout.
He say that Evil corporation would then destroy hideout by making support pillar of Sector 7 not there any more and smash slums to goo and fire. Kimahri going to make silly guess that this am bad thing. Just as trio of doom about to merrily on their way, Pimp man decide to be poopy and flush 'em into icky sewer. He then laugh and have heart failure. VICTORY! In sewer, Trio of doom get attacked by horrible dirty water monster with super flush attack of yuck juice. They make it not live not no more.
They travel through horrible sewer until they enter equally horrible dead train place of death. After many annoying running arounds and Cloud guy yelling at sky for being there to mock him, they get out and am right next to Pillar for Slums. Uh oh! It seem that evil corporation there! AVALANCHE TEAM OF STUFF am fighting them for great justice! Cloud guy yell at Flower girl to go save Gun man's "daughter" from smashy doom. Flower girl obey! So Cloud guy and Boob chick climb up pillar and see that all of AVALANCHE TEAM OF NOT STAYING ALIVE am dead and dying. Whoohoo!
At top, Gun man am feebly warding off forces of evil and monkeys. He happy/disappointed to see Cloud guy. Somewhere in-between. Oh no! It Jerk man #1 again! Gasp! He push shiny red button that start countdown of doom for pillar! When Cloud guy, Gun man and Boob chick make Jerk man #1 hurt with super no happy pain, he jump on Helicopter and show that he have Flower girl! He say somthing about her being "Ancient". Flower girl cry and say that Gun man's kid am with Flower girl's momma. Jerk man #1 the kick her in ribs. Cloud guy scream with agony because his emotion thingy is rupturing with emotion that am not hate, but something that burns with burning in his belly.
Helicopter take off and there no way to stop horrible countdown. Gun man, Boob chick and Cloud guy jump on cable and swing to safety as Pillar explode and send chunk of city raining down on slums. DEATH FROM ABOVE! After daring escape from doom, Gun man cry and fire gun in random directions, killing off the few Pidgins who survived. Cloud Guy want to know more about "Ancient" thingy. SUDDENLY, he get head voices. He stop drop and roll until they go away. They head to Flower girl's house to find Gun man's kid am ok. They promise Flower mommy that they gunna save Flower girl. So Trio of Doom then decide to head for Wall market to decide what to do. There, they run into group of hooligan kids who lead them to cable that lead up to city. With convenient purchase of Batteries, Trio of Doom am able to climb up horrible cable of breezy wind that make Cloud guy's hair go into eyes and mouth, causing him to tumble to his doom, but then he get better.
Once they reach top of thingy, they con-veen-yantly was at Evil corporation headquarters. Convenient! Cloud guy and Boob chick want to take the stairs. Gun man though, is lazy and violent AND the leader, so in a flurry of yelling and aiming various weapons at spooked employees, Trio of Doom enter evil corporation headquarters. After many fighting, they do Metal Gear style sneaky to reach the top of evil building. After MUCH MUCH MUCH stair walky/fighting, Cloud guy go into executive only bathroom and sneak into air duct. In air duct, Cloud guy spy on super secret meeting of corporate pigs who want to experiment on Flower girl. Oh! That sound dirty. When Cloud guy get out of and tell Gun man and Boob Chick, they get upset like a old lazy cat that's been picked up by 5 year old. That pretty upset.
As Trio of stuff wonder blindly around evil corporation building, they find crazy Scientist man (He crazy!) who they follow into secret laboratory. Inside, Cloud guy peek into tank and see something that make him scream scream scream like finding out that horrible Black Widow spider lives in the back of your car(And it does!~Silver Neko). After reviving Cloud guy with the lure of Boob chick's boobs of bouncy goodness, the 3 thingies run into next lab and see Flower girl and Red cat (Also known as Kimahri Jr ^0^ Ohohoh!) who am THIS close to forced mating. Kimahri would buy THAT for a dollar!
Cloud guy and others bust Flower girl out of tube. Flower girl squeal with delight. Flower girl glomp onto Cloud guy's torso. She squeeze his no no place(His booty) right in font of Boob chick. Oh the hilarity that ensued. Crazy scientist man(He so crazy!) not amused. He being cornered by angry, angry Red cat with disturbingly good English. He have better Grammar than Kimahri. Sniff. Crazy scientist man(With craziness!) send robot monster on....group...uh...of.....hero people. Monster try his gosh darn best to make the hero people not alive, but he fail.
Just as hero people about to victoriously flee, Jerk man #2 and #3 catch 'em and take to President evil man of evil corporation. Ooooo! President evil stupidly tells bound and gagged hero persons about the "Ancients" or even more fancy name: Cetra. He say that he gunna use Flower girl to get to Promised land full of Mako juice. He then laugh for half hour while hero people am forced to watch. He SO evil. He then have them sent to cells with no dinner. In jail, every one whine about stuff and Red cat cry about his grandpa while Gun man laugh at the concept of Red cat having a grandpa. Gun man so mean. Cloud guy, tired from the thing know as "Existence", decide to take well deserved nap.
After long nap of Doom, Cloud guy get up and depressedly lean against the cold door of cell. Well what do Kimahri know? Door am open! Cloud guy get out and take key for other cells from cold hands of dead guard. That spook him a bit, and he pretty hard to spook! He free others and they find lab men all dead and thingy in tank am gone like Cloud guy's will to live. They then merrily follow trail of blood to President Evil's office. Whoop! It seem he dead! Cloud guy announce that Spooky dude has done the killy to evil dead guy. Outside of office, on roof, President evil's son, "President bum" land fancy helicopter on roof and announce that now he am leader of evil corporation. Then, from somewhere far away, an old man's voice scream, "Why gawd?! WHYYY!?" There then an uncomfortable silence.
Cloud guy the scream at everyone to go away. He want to kill bum child of evil president. They am happy to comply. Hero persons (Minus Cloud guy) flee to elevator. But oh no for them! Bad robot thing try to kill them! But hah! They kill first! Happy dance! Cloud guy and President Bum am having heated discussion of why President bum sucks and that Cloud guy can't let him or Spooky dude have Promised land. This anger President bum GREATLY! He pull put Poke ball and call on evil doggie to kill! But Cloud guy kill doggie first! Bum child then do like his dead papa and escape on helicopter with free peanuts. It then that Cloud guy realize that he no have eat, drink or pee pee for at least 2 days, and he feel fine. This somehow bother Cloud guy.
Cloud guy meet team in lobby. They then steal display truck and fancy new model motorcycle that not available to public until next year. NO DUE 'TIL NEXT YEAR! Can they no read?! Anyway, hero's escape onto strangely deserted highway. Poop! They being pursued by evil corporation motorcycle men! But thanks to Cloud guy's big ass sword of JUSTICE, evil bikers am driven off side of road to explode in fiery vengeance. At dead end of road, bad robot thingy guy attack, but it am failure like others who try to kill unlikely group of heroes. After magical talky, Cloud guy announce that he going to travel world to make Spooky dude dead. Of course Flower girl will follow poor Cloud guy to heck and back, so he stuck with her. And Gun man am wanted man in Midgar, so he decide to come and help save planet and stop sea pollution. AND Boob chick, like Flower girl, wants to make Cloud guy her personal Bishounen Koneko of love, so OF COURSE she coming too. It truly am the true start of this horrible journey of DOOM and STUFF! Please kill Kimahri now. We only 1% into story. Kimahri hurts all over."
~Kimahri feels my pain. I am GOING to finish this! No matter how LAZY I am, and no matter how much school wants to suck out my will to write, and no matter how much Kingdom Hearts and Animal Crossing want me to pay attention to them, and no matter how much I'm DYING to write a Kingdom Hearts Kimahri fic (Oh how easy it is to make jokes about that game), and no matter how much my belly wants me to feed it, I'M GOING TO DO EET! I'm going to finish this! Why does it seem that FF 10, 9 and 8 have shorter plots? Is it because...of.....oh sweet monkey I'm tired. I gunna go rot in front of da TV now. Teeeveeee.....~Silver Neko, curse Kingdom Hearts and its catchy jingles!