KIMAHRI'S MAGICAL TALE OF VII
~First things first: Bees are NOT affectionate. They are evil aggressive MONSTERS who will hunt you down and pollinate your corpse. Its SO true. So now I give you more happy story time with Kimahri. Dance with appreciation!~Silver Neko, the sleepy doorknob must DIE!
"SO FINALLY! Team of guys and gals am reach place called Junon. Cloud Guy's agonized head is angry at Cloud guy for bringing naughty, Materia stealing and ass grabbing Ninja Thief girl along. Flower Girl and Boob chick am annoyed at Ninja female who am trying to steal their toy. Gun man am anxious for toilet. Red Cat am feeling bloated from eating so many babies. Hahaha, Kimahri are so clever. In small town at base of bad Junon place, team buy stuff for AMAZING ADVENTURE! Kimahri am going to use fancy word now, apathetic! Cloud guy am apathetic! Apathetic Cloud guy stroll down to horribly polluted beach by town and find cute 'lil girl playing with friend "Mr. Dolphin" THAT AM SO AWWWW!
But gasp! Gasp again! It am Bottomswell! Bad, unclean fishy who eat little girls! Cloud Guy whack de fish until it become embarrassed for being Whacked by a guy. Kimahri can make ANYTHING sound dirty! So fish then die in cascade of guts. Yay! But gasp! Little girl am not breathing. Cloud guy then do CPR on little thingy. Yay. Cloud Monster save the day! Cloud Dude take little girl home and all is happy. Happy until HEAD VOICES come and make Cloud Person have SEIZURE! LATER! Team of stupids find little girl at beach AGAIN with Mr. Dolphin. Aww. She then say, "Think fast!" and hit Cloud Guy in Beanbag with New Materia, "Shiva". Cloud guy bend over in misery. Cloud Guy no can feel lower half of body.
Boob chick offers to kiss Cloud Guy's owie so he feel MUCH better, But Cloud guy just scream in frustration that he still alive. Hyperactive Little girl say that EVIL CORPORATION are throwing big parade for President BUM up on main part of Junon. Team of happy want to go up there and make him dead, but HOW? Mr. Dolphin to da rescue! He BOP Cloud Guy up to pole and rest of team heads off to find other way up, because Dolphins are icky. Cloud Jerk climb up to airport and run into insecure solders who am going ca ca for Coo coo Puffs while getting ready for President BUM. De peoples think Cloud Freak am one 'O them, so they force greatly angered Cloud Guy to don EVIL CORPORATION uniform. Cloud Guy cheers with pain.
Soldier fools am greatly impressed with Cloud Guy's sword twirly actions, so they do it too with their shoddy guns. PARADE TIME! Lets just say, Cloud Guy no like Parades. Lets just say, if Cloud guy had power over time like Chrono Trigger Dude does, he would go back in time and kill person who invented parades. WITH EXTREME PREJUDICE! After HORRIBLE parade of DOOM, mass of hate and suffering that am Cloud Guy, run around and buy things and yell at children who laugh at his head. Yar! So spooky! When he head to boat that President BUM an gunna go in, Cloud guy and other STOOPID soldiers have to do happy dance with gun spinny at end. President Bum laughs like a child who has killed Santa Claus.
Beep! On BOAT, Cloud Guy am hyper like kitten in dark room Whassat?! What?! What is it!? What?! MOVEMENT! Yes, if Kimahri could chose another way to describe Cloud Guy on boat, Kimahri would stick with Kitten in dark room. Boat am secretly filled with HEROES! YAY! DO ANYONE CARE?! NO! Hey! Alarm! Spooky Dude am must be here! How do heroes know dis? Boat am littered with dead bodies! Everyone know Spooky Dude do like his dead bodies good! In cargo hold, dey find da Spooky Dude! Kimahri makes a slow motion "Nooo" sound! So Spooky Dude make like convicted felon and flee, leaving chunk of his mommy behind to KEEL team DEAD! "AH KEEL OOO DED!" she announce! But heroes am the victory machines!
So boat that am devoid of life arrive in da purdy place with many Coconuts(That am do apply to many things here. Teehee!) In place of shiny stuff, Red Cat peacefully snooze in shade, snooze until horrible childrens hit him in face with angry soccer ball! RARG! IT TIME FOR NUM NUMS MADE FROM HUMAN CHILDS! Then it snooze time again. Ninja Thief Girl have part time job at "Crap you are compelled to own" shack. Buy da crap! You needs it! Oh! It am Crazy scientist man(He such crazy man!) on beach! He am enjoying self GREATLY! Why do story have so many exclamation marks? Huh? HUH?! Crazy scientist man(He is da crazy!) does not want to make with the talky, so Cloud Guy am ready to MAKE him want to make da talk with words. Crazy scientist man(With unpredictable crazy!) say he no know nothing! Please no stab! Finally, team am able to drag dedicated to kill things Cloud Guy away from disturbed but still oh so crazy, Crazy Scientist Man(Supa Crazee!) with craziness!
So team of VERY LITTLE SLEEP go for sleepy at hotel. Because they am SO poor, team am forced to share room and bed. Cloud Guy sings with hysterical negative fear. So there am shirtless Cloud Guy: in bed with Red Cat cutting off circulation to legs because he am laying on Cloud Guy's legs, Gun man loudly snoring UNDER bed for some reason, Flower Girl cuddled up to Cloud Guy's side, exhausted from arguing with Cloud guy for why he no want to do her. Boob Chick am cuddled up to other side of Cloud Guy, also tired because she am was screaming at Flower girl that Cloud guy am HER obedient LUV SQUISHY! Ninja Thief Girl am laying ON Cloud guy with arms around torso. She tired because while Flower Girl and Boob chick am yelling at each other, she catch Cloud Guy off guard and kiss him with PASSION! Cloud Guy them throw her off himself and out window. Cloud Guy then brush teeth for an hour.
~Silver Neko talking now. So imagine this picture in your brain meats: Wide eyed Cloud anchored down by three sleeping, evil, horrible horny, hormone driven females, with a large cougar like cat laying on his legs so that he has no feeling in them, with a smelly large man under the bed snoring like a thing that snores. He can't move, he can JUST barely breath and he has to pee with a VENGEANCE! Imagine this picture. Imagine this picture GOOD.~
Cloud guy stair at ceiling and whimper, "Why won't I die?"
SO NEXT DAY! Team and sleep deprived Cloud Guy head 'fo Corel Mountain. Dey pass by Mako reactor and find old roller coaster tracks...or am they railroad tracks? KIMAHRI NO CARE! Along tracks, Cloud Guy fall to his doom AGAIN, but he get over it. Along way, team run into birdy nest on top of treasure chest. AWWW! The team goes, "Aww! Thems birds!" But Cloud Guy want life saving items IN chest. So much to dismay of team mates, Cloud guy pick up bird nest with floofy little birds, and HURL it at wall. Cloud guy laughs with evil laughter for senseless destruction! But then angry bird momma come and peck Cloud guy's skull until it reach warm squishy interior of brains. YAY FOR KARMA!
Finally, thanks to healing goodness of Flower girl to Cloud guy's birdy pecked skull, team of RANDOM HAPPY reach new and exciting place! It are Gun man's hometown: Nasty hole in the ground. Kimahri think it have other name but Kimahri feels that dat you no need to know. In town, every one am cold like chunk of ice toward Gun man. It then that Gun man decide to tell horrible story of life to team of THINGS! Whee.
Once upon time, Nasty hole in the ground am once coal mining town that not nasty. Evil Corporation want to build Mako sucky suck reactor here. Gun man(When he had hand instead of doom gun) see that no one want coal anymore and dat Mako am way of the future. Yay! Future! Gun man try to explain to peoples of town that Mako is GOOD thing! Gun man's pal don't like idea of Mako sucky, but Gun man finally convince town to let Evil corporation build thing. One day, much later, Gun man and pal come back home from out of town beer festival only to find town burning like Goomba who been hit with fire ball from palm of plump Plummer man. Mamma mia!
Evil corporation say that town have been smashing Mako reactor so they must BURN. Ow! Gun man and pal get shot by stuff! Pal falls off cliff and Gun man assume he no survive horrible smashy at bottom. Gun man find that him's wife am dead and Pal's wife am dead. But looky! Pal's little girl am still alive. Awww. So Gun man take girl with him to evil, evil city of Midgar where he have useless rotting arm replaced with neat wow funky gun. Awww. That explain SO much! Now Kimahri understand why Gun man's daughter am no African American! Kimahri smart now momma!
So then Silly stupid team of persons get on happy rope train and head for HAPPY SHINY PLACE! WAI! Cloud Guy secretly hope they no run into no robots up in the place. Cloud Guy fears the robots. FEARS 'EM! Wait. No. Replace "Fear" with hate. Hate because robots are annoying and they try to be accepted into society but always fail. Robot just want luv, but he no get it! MWAHAHAHA....wait. What this have to so with anything? Glah. Kimahri need to use sandbox."
~Whoo. School is always a fresh new hell. And everyone is a snooty Bitch or Bastard made of MEAT. Yay. I FINALLY go this chappy done! Now me gotta get a new chap for da KH fic done. Curse you homework. Curse you I says.~Silver Neko, why won't she die?
~First things first: Bees are NOT affectionate. They are evil aggressive MONSTERS who will hunt you down and pollinate your corpse. Its SO true. So now I give you more happy story time with Kimahri. Dance with appreciation!~Silver Neko, the sleepy doorknob must DIE!
"SO FINALLY! Team of guys and gals am reach place called Junon. Cloud Guy's agonized head is angry at Cloud guy for bringing naughty, Materia stealing and ass grabbing Ninja Thief girl along. Flower Girl and Boob chick am annoyed at Ninja female who am trying to steal their toy. Gun man am anxious for toilet. Red Cat am feeling bloated from eating so many babies. Hahaha, Kimahri are so clever. In small town at base of bad Junon place, team buy stuff for AMAZING ADVENTURE! Kimahri am going to use fancy word now, apathetic! Cloud guy am apathetic! Apathetic Cloud guy stroll down to horribly polluted beach by town and find cute 'lil girl playing with friend "Mr. Dolphin" THAT AM SO AWWWW!
But gasp! Gasp again! It am Bottomswell! Bad, unclean fishy who eat little girls! Cloud Guy whack de fish until it become embarrassed for being Whacked by a guy. Kimahri can make ANYTHING sound dirty! So fish then die in cascade of guts. Yay! But gasp! Little girl am not breathing. Cloud guy then do CPR on little thingy. Yay. Cloud Monster save the day! Cloud Dude take little girl home and all is happy. Happy until HEAD VOICES come and make Cloud Person have SEIZURE! LATER! Team of stupids find little girl at beach AGAIN with Mr. Dolphin. Aww. She then say, "Think fast!" and hit Cloud Guy in Beanbag with New Materia, "Shiva". Cloud guy bend over in misery. Cloud Guy no can feel lower half of body.
Boob chick offers to kiss Cloud Guy's owie so he feel MUCH better, But Cloud guy just scream in frustration that he still alive. Hyperactive Little girl say that EVIL CORPORATION are throwing big parade for President BUM up on main part of Junon. Team of happy want to go up there and make him dead, but HOW? Mr. Dolphin to da rescue! He BOP Cloud Guy up to pole and rest of team heads off to find other way up, because Dolphins are icky. Cloud Jerk climb up to airport and run into insecure solders who am going ca ca for Coo coo Puffs while getting ready for President BUM. De peoples think Cloud Freak am one 'O them, so they force greatly angered Cloud Guy to don EVIL CORPORATION uniform. Cloud Guy cheers with pain.
Soldier fools am greatly impressed with Cloud Guy's sword twirly actions, so they do it too with their shoddy guns. PARADE TIME! Lets just say, Cloud Guy no like Parades. Lets just say, if Cloud guy had power over time like Chrono Trigger Dude does, he would go back in time and kill person who invented parades. WITH EXTREME PREJUDICE! After HORRIBLE parade of DOOM, mass of hate and suffering that am Cloud Guy, run around and buy things and yell at children who laugh at his head. Yar! So spooky! When he head to boat that President BUM an gunna go in, Cloud guy and other STOOPID soldiers have to do happy dance with gun spinny at end. President Bum laughs like a child who has killed Santa Claus.
Beep! On BOAT, Cloud Guy am hyper like kitten in dark room Whassat?! What?! What is it!? What?! MOVEMENT! Yes, if Kimahri could chose another way to describe Cloud Guy on boat, Kimahri would stick with Kitten in dark room. Boat am secretly filled with HEROES! YAY! DO ANYONE CARE?! NO! Hey! Alarm! Spooky Dude am must be here! How do heroes know dis? Boat am littered with dead bodies! Everyone know Spooky Dude do like his dead bodies good! In cargo hold, dey find da Spooky Dude! Kimahri makes a slow motion "Nooo" sound! So Spooky Dude make like convicted felon and flee, leaving chunk of his mommy behind to KEEL team DEAD! "AH KEEL OOO DED!" she announce! But heroes am the victory machines!
So boat that am devoid of life arrive in da purdy place with many Coconuts(That am do apply to many things here. Teehee!) In place of shiny stuff, Red Cat peacefully snooze in shade, snooze until horrible childrens hit him in face with angry soccer ball! RARG! IT TIME FOR NUM NUMS MADE FROM HUMAN CHILDS! Then it snooze time again. Ninja Thief Girl have part time job at "Crap you are compelled to own" shack. Buy da crap! You needs it! Oh! It am Crazy scientist man(He such crazy man!) on beach! He am enjoying self GREATLY! Why do story have so many exclamation marks? Huh? HUH?! Crazy scientist man(He is da crazy!) does not want to make with the talky, so Cloud Guy am ready to MAKE him want to make da talk with words. Crazy scientist man(With unpredictable crazy!) say he no know nothing! Please no stab! Finally, team am able to drag dedicated to kill things Cloud Guy away from disturbed but still oh so crazy, Crazy Scientist Man(Supa Crazee!) with craziness!
So team of VERY LITTLE SLEEP go for sleepy at hotel. Because they am SO poor, team am forced to share room and bed. Cloud Guy sings with hysterical negative fear. So there am shirtless Cloud Guy: in bed with Red Cat cutting off circulation to legs because he am laying on Cloud Guy's legs, Gun man loudly snoring UNDER bed for some reason, Flower Girl cuddled up to Cloud Guy's side, exhausted from arguing with Cloud guy for why he no want to do her. Boob Chick am cuddled up to other side of Cloud Guy, also tired because she am was screaming at Flower girl that Cloud guy am HER obedient LUV SQUISHY! Ninja Thief Girl am laying ON Cloud guy with arms around torso. She tired because while Flower Girl and Boob chick am yelling at each other, she catch Cloud Guy off guard and kiss him with PASSION! Cloud Guy them throw her off himself and out window. Cloud Guy then brush teeth for an hour.
~Silver Neko talking now. So imagine this picture in your brain meats: Wide eyed Cloud anchored down by three sleeping, evil, horrible horny, hormone driven females, with a large cougar like cat laying on his legs so that he has no feeling in them, with a smelly large man under the bed snoring like a thing that snores. He can't move, he can JUST barely breath and he has to pee with a VENGEANCE! Imagine this picture. Imagine this picture GOOD.~
Cloud guy stair at ceiling and whimper, "Why won't I die?"
SO NEXT DAY! Team and sleep deprived Cloud Guy head 'fo Corel Mountain. Dey pass by Mako reactor and find old roller coaster tracks...or am they railroad tracks? KIMAHRI NO CARE! Along tracks, Cloud Guy fall to his doom AGAIN, but he get over it. Along way, team run into birdy nest on top of treasure chest. AWWW! The team goes, "Aww! Thems birds!" But Cloud Guy want life saving items IN chest. So much to dismay of team mates, Cloud guy pick up bird nest with floofy little birds, and HURL it at wall. Cloud guy laughs with evil laughter for senseless destruction! But then angry bird momma come and peck Cloud guy's skull until it reach warm squishy interior of brains. YAY FOR KARMA!
Finally, thanks to healing goodness of Flower girl to Cloud guy's birdy pecked skull, team of RANDOM HAPPY reach new and exciting place! It are Gun man's hometown: Nasty hole in the ground. Kimahri think it have other name but Kimahri feels that dat you no need to know. In town, every one am cold like chunk of ice toward Gun man. It then that Gun man decide to tell horrible story of life to team of THINGS! Whee.
Once upon time, Nasty hole in the ground am once coal mining town that not nasty. Evil Corporation want to build Mako sucky suck reactor here. Gun man(When he had hand instead of doom gun) see that no one want coal anymore and dat Mako am way of the future. Yay! Future! Gun man try to explain to peoples of town that Mako is GOOD thing! Gun man's pal don't like idea of Mako sucky, but Gun man finally convince town to let Evil corporation build thing. One day, much later, Gun man and pal come back home from out of town beer festival only to find town burning like Goomba who been hit with fire ball from palm of plump Plummer man. Mamma mia!
Evil corporation say that town have been smashing Mako reactor so they must BURN. Ow! Gun man and pal get shot by stuff! Pal falls off cliff and Gun man assume he no survive horrible smashy at bottom. Gun man find that him's wife am dead and Pal's wife am dead. But looky! Pal's little girl am still alive. Awww. So Gun man take girl with him to evil, evil city of Midgar where he have useless rotting arm replaced with neat wow funky gun. Awww. That explain SO much! Now Kimahri understand why Gun man's daughter am no African American! Kimahri smart now momma!
So then Silly stupid team of persons get on happy rope train and head for HAPPY SHINY PLACE! WAI! Cloud Guy secretly hope they no run into no robots up in the place. Cloud Guy fears the robots. FEARS 'EM! Wait. No. Replace "Fear" with hate. Hate because robots are annoying and they try to be accepted into society but always fail. Robot just want luv, but he no get it! MWAHAHAHA....wait. What this have to so with anything? Glah. Kimahri need to use sandbox."
~Whoo. School is always a fresh new hell. And everyone is a snooty Bitch or Bastard made of MEAT. Yay. I FINALLY go this chappy done! Now me gotta get a new chap for da KH fic done. Curse you homework. Curse you I says.~Silver Neko, why won't she die?