A Decision Made

Sabrina is writing in her journal she is listening distractedly to a slow sweet melody the lyrics of the song are in the air:

You're a quicksilver lady,

A child of the morning,

A flower by day,

A slow fire by night,

And he's taught you things for all that you've shown him,

He's a gazer of stars on blue crystal nights,

And sometimes he cries,

And he says things that pierce you to your soul,

But he's still a man who loves you,

And it hurts to let you go.

You're a man with a power of rattlesnake lightning,

Hard like the mountains,

But soft like the sun,

And she's taught you things for all that you've shown her,

She's a weaver of visions with threads finely spun,

And sometimes she cries,

And she walks away held by the dreams that bind her,

But she's still a woman who loves you,

And her heart will always remind her.

So dance for the day,

But watch for the signs,

That point out your way when the dust fills your eyes,

And try to believe,

That the sweetest hello always comes after the hardest goodbye,

For two ways can sometimes make One,

That's stronger than either alone,

So dancers join hands for the two-way waltz,

But take the steps on your own.

For two ways can sometimes make One,

Yes, that's stronger than either alone,

So dancers join hands for the two-way waltz,

But take all the steps on your own.

("The Two-way Waltz" by Kate Wolf)

I've made up my mind. I need to meet Lorelei Kanna face to face, preferably with her daughter, Janine Kunoichi, by my side. Some might say this decision is unwise. That's fine with me, I'm tired of people calling me "wise" or "wise beyond my years". I have certainly seen and understood some things that take many people an entire lifetime to understand, but I'm still a hopeless fool about a lot of things others take in stride.

Kanna holds the key to understanding a number of things of which I simply must get to the roots. What is her current relationship with the intelligent and personable but troubled Janine? How ambivalent is her attitude toward her former lover and my passion Koga Kunoichi, ninja poison master of the Elite Four? Does she still harbour feelings for him as he sometimes still shows toward her? I feel I have lifted much of the pain her departure brought to Koga, but I really need to hear Kanna's side of the story. Koga won't say so, but he fears that if I speak to Kanna I will somehow lose interest in him as Kanna did. He needn't have this fear, but in affairs of the heart it is hard to dismiss even irrational fears.

Irrationality in love is, strangely enough, entirely rational. I have never had greater joy nor more searing pain in all my life since I fell deeply in love with Koga. The first night we shared together was a revelation to me. Such warmth, such an intertwining of passions and souls. We blossomed like flowers. I am certain we are a match. As a man steeped in the traditions of a stealthy warfare Koga understands the motivations of others better than I who have the talent to unlock those secrets but have avoided doing so. He anticipated my pleasures and fears and steered me through that night as does an excellent ship's pilot, and for my part I anticipated his needs. But I could also sense his fears, dear man, they simply won't evaporate whatever I do, and I guess my fears will not fade entirely either. That is why I must speak to Kanna and spend time with Janine on the road.

I had to ask my father to cover for me here at the Saffron City Pokémon Gym during my journey. I can't say my parents were thrilled to hear of my intention.

"You never used to take chances with your happiness Sabrina. Love has made you reckless. Why risk trouble by travelling with that sullen girl to see her mother and your own lover's first love?" father demanded.

"I don't believe I would change your mind however eloquently I made the case father," I replied. "The are some things only Kanna might tell me and I respect her as a role model. I trust she will behave maturely in front of her daughter and that she will be honest with me about the man we have in common."

My mother was clenching her hands in her lap as she knelt on the floor, "Sabrina dear you can't predict the girl's reaction. She may lash out at you again. Like all children of, um, separated parents she has a lot of anger. Perhaps this Kanna will take her side in this."

"I may have trouble even getting Janine to come along. I think I understand her reasonably well, she fears that she's unloved and a troublemaker, but that's only because she cares so much about her parents and others. Her heart is strong and warm and I could never fear one with such a heart. We will have our battles but I think we will both emerge from them as winners."

Mother looked worried but said, "I guess we can't stop you. But please be on your guard. I'm glad you came out of your shell sweetheart. I always knew you would find love. In spite of your father's doubts I can tell this Koga is an extraordinary man who complements your own extraordinariness. Be careful, you're still my little girl and you'll always be."

"Of course mother. Someday I'll make up for all the bad things I did to you," I murmured swiping at a tear in the corner of my eye.

"You already have Sabrina."

With that I went to the visiphone in my office to call Pokémon Tech. I tried to remember the name of the house where Janine roomed. What was it? Oh yes, Arbok. I verbally entered the number, "Give me Vermilion 177-401-0007." The screen fussed with white noise and static, then the Pokémon Tech board operator materialised.

"Good evening which house and room number?" she intoned.

"Please connect me with Arbok 66 - Janine Kunoichi."

"Uh huh, looking for trouble, eh?" she clucked as she keyed in the extension on the pad in front of her.

"Perhaps," I returned.

"It's your call."

As the screen changed I could see Janine's outline take form. It was clear her mood was not good. She had put on eyeliner earlier but it had smeared, her eyes betrayed a mix of fury and sadness, her stray curls had gone more astray than usual. "What do you want," she muttered curtly.

"Another bad day Janine?" I asked, concerned.

"What do you think?" she spat.

"Does it matter what I think? What is it this time? Rule breaking? A fight? Academics?"

"If you must know, I used stun spore on a heckler during a practice match. Boy was he surprised.'" She couldn't help a small smirk.

"What did he do?"

"Let's just say he made a remark about me and then went after the moral character of my folks, and...well, you got into it too,' she said.

"So the Pokémon tabloids have spread the news all the way to the school too?" I sighed. "It won't do any good to stifle people with illegal use of Pokémon attacks. You must ignore them, after all they're ignorant themselves."

She snickered then darkened, "Why are you bothering me here?"

"The Halloween break us coming up and I wanted to invite you on a trip, just us two. I thought we'd go to the Orange Islands and track down your mother."

She looked blankly through the screen, "You know, I think you're still crazy. But now that I think about it...this could be really weird...in a good way I mean. Hell I need to get out of here for a week or two. Yeah, I'll go with you."

"Fine, I'll see you at the school in two weeks. Try to stay out of serious trouble until then, okay?"

She winked at me, "No promises except I'll try. So long spooky lady."

I winced but had to smile, somehow I'd turned her mood around without crawling all over her brain. It felt good to practise psychology without mind reading. Now all I had to do was discuss this with my security officers Jessica Musashi (Jessie to her friends including me), and James Kojirou. I'll wait until tomorrow to do that I suppose.