This fic was written by my cousin, PJC, but I fixed a few typos,
misspellings, and any other mistakes for him before I posted it up here. I
really didn't know what to put for the title, and forgive him if it sucks
(just kidding of course, PJC), it's his first fanfic. We might write more,
but only if we get good reviews. Well, here's the Stupid Show with Cloud
Strife!
Announcer: Live, from Midgar! It's the Stupid Show with Cloud Strife! Featuring your host, Cloud Strife! Along with Squall and the Tonight Show Band and me, Yoshimitsu, here's CLOUD STRIFE!!!
*Squall and the band start playing music*
* audience cheers*
Cloud: Hey! Hi! Hey! (he's wearing a suit) *walks to front row, shakes the audiences' hands* Hi! Hi buddy! Hey!
*Audience cheers*
Cloud: How y'all doin'? *looks at Squall* I like that piece you played there.
Squall: I know, I know. Hey, it's the only thing I can do, man!
Cloud: *faces the audience* Folks, we got a great show for you tonight! From Cowboy Bebop.Spike Spiegal is here!
*audience cheers*
Cloud: Also, straight from the Iron Fist Tournament.Hwoarang is here to join us!
*audience cheers*
Cloud: Stick around folks. When we return.Headlines! Take it away, Squall!
*Squall and the band start playing music* *audience cheers*
(After Break)
Cloud: *now sitting in his chair at his desk, drinking coffee and holding a newspaper* Welcome Back! It's that time again.Time for Headlines!
*audience cheers*
Cloud: Haha! This piece of news really cracks me up! Ok, listen to this. A robber with a knife tried to rob a Gun Store!
*Audience laugh*
Cloud: OH! This one! Our friend Heero Yuy is back in jail, "AGAIN"! The police reports say that he was stealing more Very Fit spandex! HAHA! Come on, can you steal something else?
*Audience laugh*
Cloud: Damn! He sure likes those spandex!
Squall: HAHAHAHAHA!
Cloud: Oh! Listen to this! A Tekken participant was caught today for sneaking a gun during his fight!
Audience: OOOOOHHH!!!
Cloud: It says that he was caught 'cause he yelled "I will kill you with my gun" to his opponent! How stupid can you be?
*Audience laugh*
Cloud: And oh yeah! Homer Simpson! Yup, Homer is now the new president of the Shinra Corporation. Good for him! Good for him!
*audience cheers*
Cloud: Oh yeah! On the news today! Heihachi Mishima says he will lose the diaper! He says, direct quote, "From now on, I will fight naked!" Haha! Heihachi says it will guarantee his victory!
*audience laughs*
Cloud: Folks, when we return, Spike Spiegal will join us.
*audience cheers*
(After break)
Welcome back! My first guest here tonight is someone you may know from the show, Cowboy Bebop. Spike Spiegal everyone!
*Squall and the band playing Cowboy Bebop opening song*
*crowd cheers*
(Cloud welcomes Spike, shakes hands)
Spike: Hi everyone! *waves to the crowd*
(Cloud and Spike take their seats)
Cloud: Hi man! Welcome to the show. I have to say that Cowboy Bebop is now my favorite show of all time.
Spike: Thank you! Thank you!
Cloud: So what's the feeling of having the top rated show of all time?
Spike: I feel great! Hey! I work with a tough guy, a geek with a computer, a lady who plays at the casino all day, and a dog. It's the best feeling of all time!
Cloud: Now what do you think about Vicious?
Spike: .Vicious.
(Spike grabs his gun and starts firing at the ceiling)
Audience: WHOA!
Cloud: Hey Spike, cal down.
Spike: I'm sorry, the name Vicious makes me lose my head. I just wanna kick his ass! Whoops! Can you say ass on TV?
Cloud: Hey! You're Spike Spiegal so you can do anything you want! Oh, by the way, Julia is hot!
Spike: Grrr.WHAT! *looks at Cloud with rage* (Grabs his gun again and points it at Cloud) What did you say about Julia?!?!
Audience: WHOA!
Cloud: *sweating* Uhhh.umm.when.uh.we return.Hwoarang will.join us.
*crowd cheers*
(After Break)
*crowd cheers*
Cloud: Hi and welcome back! My next guest comes from the hit game Tekken 4. Give it up for.Hwoarang!
(Squall and the band start playing rave songs)
*crowd cheers*
(Cloud welcomes Hwoarang, shakes hands, hugs)
Cloud: Hwoarang everyone!
Hwoarang: Hehe. Hello!
(Cloud and Hwoarang take their seat)
Cloud: How you doin' man!
Hwoarang: Great! I've been practicing for my next match!
Cloud: Really? Who's your opponent?
Hwoarang: Jin.JIN KAZAMA!
Audience: OOHHHH!
Cloud: Really? Wow.So what do you think of Jin?
Hwoarang: I fuckin' hate Jin!.*very mad*
Cloud: Whoa! Sorry I asked.umm.hey! What's up with the girls callin' you Hwa-Hwa? Black Phoenix, especially.
Black Phoenix: HI HWA-HWA! I LOVE YOU HWA-HWA!
Hwoarang: Thanks Black Phoenix! Well, I dunno! They just started calling me Hwa-Hwa ever since I got popular! But, only girls say it though.
Cloud: Wow! Can I call you Hwa-Hwa?
Hwoarang: *looks angry*..
Cloud: I'm not gay or anything.*sweating*
Hwoarang: *still looks angry* ..
Cloud: .I don't wanna get my ass kicked.Ok moving on! How's your relationship with Nina?
Hwoarang: .I don't have a relationship with Nina! That's Paul who has a relationship with Nina! What are you, some kind of moron?
Cloud: Ok! Bad question!
*audience laughs*
Hwoarang: Damn right!
Cloud: Okay, uhh.Who taught you how to fight?
Hwoarang: Why, my master! Master Baek!
Cloud: So what do you do in your spare time?
Hwoarang: Well, I go to the arcade! And of course, I play Tekken 4!
*crowd cheers*
Cloud: Tekken 4? What? That's just crap! If you wanna play a true fighting game, play Ehrgeiz! Tekken 4 is crap! Err.whoops!
Hwoarang: .What.did.you.SAY?! (angry look)
Crowd: OOH!
Squall: OOH! You're gonna get your ass kicked now!
Cloud: Uhh.I said.*gulp*.Tekken 4.is.*sweating Hwoarang: (raging look) OK, I've heard enough! *lifts Cloud up from his chair and performs a 10 hit combo on him)
Hwoarang: HYAA! YAH!
Cloud: Uhh.ahhh.eeehhh! OWWW!
Audience: (counting the hits) 1.2.3.4.5.6.7.8.9.10! OOOOH!
Cloud: (lands on his desk which breaks from the fall, err.throw) Uhhh.Hwoarang.everyone! Uhhh.ohhh.
*crowd cheers*
Cloud: (till in pain) Folks, I would like to thank my guests tonight: Spike Spiegal for shooting my ceiling and Hwoarang for kicking my ass.Good night everyone! *passes out*
*Squall and the band start playing music*
*crowd cheers*
Announcer: Live, from Midgar! It's the Stupid Show with Cloud Strife! Featuring your host, Cloud Strife! Along with Squall and the Tonight Show Band and me, Yoshimitsu, here's CLOUD STRIFE!!!
*Squall and the band start playing music*
* audience cheers*
Cloud: Hey! Hi! Hey! (he's wearing a suit) *walks to front row, shakes the audiences' hands* Hi! Hi buddy! Hey!
*Audience cheers*
Cloud: How y'all doin'? *looks at Squall* I like that piece you played there.
Squall: I know, I know. Hey, it's the only thing I can do, man!
Cloud: *faces the audience* Folks, we got a great show for you tonight! From Cowboy Bebop.Spike Spiegal is here!
*audience cheers*
Cloud: Also, straight from the Iron Fist Tournament.Hwoarang is here to join us!
*audience cheers*
Cloud: Stick around folks. When we return.Headlines! Take it away, Squall!
*Squall and the band start playing music* *audience cheers*
(After Break)
Cloud: *now sitting in his chair at his desk, drinking coffee and holding a newspaper* Welcome Back! It's that time again.Time for Headlines!
*audience cheers*
Cloud: Haha! This piece of news really cracks me up! Ok, listen to this. A robber with a knife tried to rob a Gun Store!
*Audience laugh*
Cloud: OH! This one! Our friend Heero Yuy is back in jail, "AGAIN"! The police reports say that he was stealing more Very Fit spandex! HAHA! Come on, can you steal something else?
*Audience laugh*
Cloud: Damn! He sure likes those spandex!
Squall: HAHAHAHAHA!
Cloud: Oh! Listen to this! A Tekken participant was caught today for sneaking a gun during his fight!
Audience: OOOOOHHH!!!
Cloud: It says that he was caught 'cause he yelled "I will kill you with my gun" to his opponent! How stupid can you be?
*Audience laugh*
Cloud: And oh yeah! Homer Simpson! Yup, Homer is now the new president of the Shinra Corporation. Good for him! Good for him!
*audience cheers*
Cloud: Oh yeah! On the news today! Heihachi Mishima says he will lose the diaper! He says, direct quote, "From now on, I will fight naked!" Haha! Heihachi says it will guarantee his victory!
*audience laughs*
Cloud: Folks, when we return, Spike Spiegal will join us.
*audience cheers*
(After break)
Welcome back! My first guest here tonight is someone you may know from the show, Cowboy Bebop. Spike Spiegal everyone!
*Squall and the band playing Cowboy Bebop opening song*
*crowd cheers*
(Cloud welcomes Spike, shakes hands)
Spike: Hi everyone! *waves to the crowd*
(Cloud and Spike take their seats)
Cloud: Hi man! Welcome to the show. I have to say that Cowboy Bebop is now my favorite show of all time.
Spike: Thank you! Thank you!
Cloud: So what's the feeling of having the top rated show of all time?
Spike: I feel great! Hey! I work with a tough guy, a geek with a computer, a lady who plays at the casino all day, and a dog. It's the best feeling of all time!
Cloud: Now what do you think about Vicious?
Spike: .Vicious.
(Spike grabs his gun and starts firing at the ceiling)
Audience: WHOA!
Cloud: Hey Spike, cal down.
Spike: I'm sorry, the name Vicious makes me lose my head. I just wanna kick his ass! Whoops! Can you say ass on TV?
Cloud: Hey! You're Spike Spiegal so you can do anything you want! Oh, by the way, Julia is hot!
Spike: Grrr.WHAT! *looks at Cloud with rage* (Grabs his gun again and points it at Cloud) What did you say about Julia?!?!
Audience: WHOA!
Cloud: *sweating* Uhhh.umm.when.uh.we return.Hwoarang will.join us.
*crowd cheers*
(After Break)
*crowd cheers*
Cloud: Hi and welcome back! My next guest comes from the hit game Tekken 4. Give it up for.Hwoarang!
(Squall and the band start playing rave songs)
*crowd cheers*
(Cloud welcomes Hwoarang, shakes hands, hugs)
Cloud: Hwoarang everyone!
Hwoarang: Hehe. Hello!
(Cloud and Hwoarang take their seat)
Cloud: How you doin' man!
Hwoarang: Great! I've been practicing for my next match!
Cloud: Really? Who's your opponent?
Hwoarang: Jin.JIN KAZAMA!
Audience: OOHHHH!
Cloud: Really? Wow.So what do you think of Jin?
Hwoarang: I fuckin' hate Jin!.*very mad*
Cloud: Whoa! Sorry I asked.umm.hey! What's up with the girls callin' you Hwa-Hwa? Black Phoenix, especially.
Black Phoenix: HI HWA-HWA! I LOVE YOU HWA-HWA!
Hwoarang: Thanks Black Phoenix! Well, I dunno! They just started calling me Hwa-Hwa ever since I got popular! But, only girls say it though.
Cloud: Wow! Can I call you Hwa-Hwa?
Hwoarang: *looks angry*..
Cloud: I'm not gay or anything.*sweating*
Hwoarang: *still looks angry* ..
Cloud: .I don't wanna get my ass kicked.Ok moving on! How's your relationship with Nina?
Hwoarang: .I don't have a relationship with Nina! That's Paul who has a relationship with Nina! What are you, some kind of moron?
Cloud: Ok! Bad question!
*audience laughs*
Hwoarang: Damn right!
Cloud: Okay, uhh.Who taught you how to fight?
Hwoarang: Why, my master! Master Baek!
Cloud: So what do you do in your spare time?
Hwoarang: Well, I go to the arcade! And of course, I play Tekken 4!
*crowd cheers*
Cloud: Tekken 4? What? That's just crap! If you wanna play a true fighting game, play Ehrgeiz! Tekken 4 is crap! Err.whoops!
Hwoarang: .What.did.you.SAY?! (angry look)
Crowd: OOH!
Squall: OOH! You're gonna get your ass kicked now!
Cloud: Uhh.I said.*gulp*.Tekken 4.is.*sweating Hwoarang: (raging look) OK, I've heard enough! *lifts Cloud up from his chair and performs a 10 hit combo on him)
Hwoarang: HYAA! YAH!
Cloud: Uhh.ahhh.eeehhh! OWWW!
Audience: (counting the hits) 1.2.3.4.5.6.7.8.9.10! OOOOH!
Cloud: (lands on his desk which breaks from the fall, err.throw) Uhhh.Hwoarang.everyone! Uhhh.ohhh.
*crowd cheers*
Cloud: (till in pain) Folks, I would like to thank my guests tonight: Spike Spiegal for shooting my ceiling and Hwoarang for kicking my ass.Good night everyone! *passes out*
*Squall and the band start playing music*
*crowd cheers*