This time it was Steve who pulled away. "Rae, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that." He turned away from her, but felt her hand on his arm.
"Did you enjoy it?" She was looking at him with concern in her eyes. He just nodded. "So did I. Do you want to do it again?" He nodded again and she pulled him back towards her and this time she began to kiss him, he felt her fingers as they ran through his hair, and he kissed her back with an excitement that was both new and frightening. This time the kiss lasted longer and was, if possible, even more passionate than the first one. As he pulled away he looked into her eyes, and he knew without a shadow of a doubt that it was wrong.
"Rae, don't." He tore his eyes away from her face, but she moved so that she was still in front of him.
"Did you enjoy it this time?" He couldn't speak so he nodded once again. "Do you want to do it again?"
"No, no, Rae, I don't, it's wrong."
"Good, because I don't either. Steve, I love you, and if I'm honest, and I always try to be, I have wanted to do that to you for the longest time. But I don't love you like I love Jesse; I don't want to leap into bed with you. You don't belong to me, you never will, and I don't belong to you. I want to be with Jesse, I want to spend my life with him, you want to be with Texas. I enjoyed what we did, but I don't think we'll need to do it again." She paused. "But I wouldn't say no to a hug."
Steve held out his arms, and to his relief she fitted right into them, just as she always had done. He kissed her gently on the top of the head and then he moved back.
"Jesse is a lucky guy. I hope he realises that."
"If he doesn't I will have to make sure I tell him more often." She smiled at her partner once again. "Steve, I will tell Jesse what happened here tonight. I can't do otherwise, I hope you understand."
"I know. I get the feeling I will have to tell Jo, too." He ran his finger down her cheek and then spoke again. "I'm going to go now. I'll look out for you tomorrow night. Remember I like mine white, lots of sugar." With that he moved away, grabbed his jacket and left.
Rae picked up the empty barbeque cartons and put them in the trash. Then she went into the bedroom and stood in front of the mirror. She looked at herself for a long time before taking out her contact lenses and making herself look a little more like she normally did. Then she grabbed a book and headed back to the sofa.
By the time Steve drew up in front of the beach house he was so ashamed of himself that he headed straight for his closet, pulled on his running gear and began to pound along the beach. It was getting dark and he knew that he wouldn't be able to run for long, but he just needed to push himself hard to try and forget what he had just done. Maybe it was a mistake for Rae and him to be partners. He'd had a hard time convincing the Captain that he called her honey because she was his friend, and that she'd seemed to need that sort of affection when she had been injured. As much as he had enjoyed working with Cheryl in the past it was Rae he worked with best. Nothing would change that. As he ran he tried to put the words in order so that he could write to Jo. Whichever way he looked at it the situation stank. He had kissed the girlfriend of his best friend. Rae had kissed the boyfriend of her best friend. He ran back up the steps to the beach house in the dark and was temporarily blinded by the lights shining in the lounge.
"Hey, Son, are you alright? You don't normally run this late." Mark was sitting at the table, a brown envelope just in front of him.
"Yeah, I just have a problem I need to work out. What's that?" He could see his name written in Jesse's hand. My God, he knows! But he realised instantly that couldn't be the case.
"This is from Jesse. Apparently he picked it up from Rae's place. He said you knew about it."
"Oh, right. Yeah, from Levington. Hold on a second. I'll be right back." Steve went down to his apartment and grabbed a pair of gloves from his jacket, and then he returned to the table.
He opened Jesse's envelope and slid out the contents. It was a small envelope, the type used to send personal letters. The postmark was, by the look of it, somewhere in East LA, but it was a bit smudged. Steve had picked up the letter opener on his way past the desk and now he carefully opened the envelope. Inside there was one sheet of paper and he began to read it aloud.
My darling Rae,
I am sorry that I haven't been in contact for a while, but I knew that you were back at work when I saw your picture in the paper this week at a murder scene.
I will be coming for a visit real soon; my stay here isn't going to be as long as we thought it would be. Make sure that you are ready and waiting for me with open arms, just like you were the last time we were together. I know how much you enjoyed being with me at my photo shop, I could feel it.
Take care, my darling.
Love Phil
Steve put the page back down on the table, and went into the kitchen to get a food bag to slide it into. Mark looked across at the words. He had a feeling that the letter hadn't been written by Levington. Mail was checked before it left the prison, and this would not have been let through.
"Steve, somebody else wrote this. It maybe Levington's words, but it's not his handwriting."
"Yeah, I thought the same thing. We need to find out who is helping him. I guess we can't stop him getting the papers, so every time Rae is in there he gets another picture or clipping to add to his warped collection. Mind you, I may be able to solve that for a while."
Mark could almost see Steve's mind working. "How?"
"Well, we start an undercover operation tomorrow. Rae is part of it. I was worried about maybe somebody making her, but if we put a press release out saying that she has gone to a conference for a week to, oh, I don't know, Miami, New York, even London, then it will take the heat off her on the dock. Even if it doesn't, at least Levington will leave her alone for a while, and I can work out what to do about it. She still has no idea about this."
"Yeah, I don't think it would be a good thing for her to find out he is still writing to her. She has just got her confidence and her life back, this could be disastrous."
Rae waited all evening for Jesse to come home, before she remembered that he was working through. She sighed and headed for the bedroom. As she passed the mirror she looked in it once again. What do I do with all this hair while I am asleep? She picked up the hairbrush she had bought at the hairdressers and began to gently pull it through her hair. Once that was done she headed for the shower room. The feeling of wet hair on her back was a novel one, she wasn't sure if she liked it or not. Once she had dried herself and slipped her bathrobe on she began to think about what to do with her hair. She towel dried it and then she split it into two sections and began to braid each one. Once she had finished, she began to laugh. She looked like Heidi.
Five minutes later Rae was lying in bed, and now that she had nothing to occupy herself she let her mind wander back to the early evening. She was glad that she had explained to Steve about her mood over the last two days. But as for kissing him, she couldn't believe they had done that. She had no idea how she was going to tell Jesse about it, but she knew she had to. Slowly her eyes began to close and she forgot all her problems.
By four o'clock the next afternoon Cheryl and Rae were sitting in a refreshment van on the docks. They had made more cups of coffee than either of them thought possible in the two hours they had been there, and had been working continually since they had opened. But now it was quiet for a while and they were out in front of their van relaxing in the sunshine. Rae took a breath and began to talk.
"I owe you an apology. My behaviour was out of line. I'm sorry, Cheryl." Rae held her hand out to the woman sitting on the stool next to her, and was concerned when she stood up without taking it.
"Come here, you're my friend, I feel I know you very well." She held her arms out and she and Rae hugged briefly. "I need to apologise too. I took over when I came into the station. That wasn't fair. Maybe we need to start again."
"Ok. Let's just forget it and enjoy being together. Tell me, how is everybody back at the Yard?"
"Fine, your old boss 'Call me James, Detective,' sends his love." Cheryl smiled at the memory. "You know I would never call Newman by his first name!"
Rae smiled, James had been a very nice guy, and Cheryl was right about the Captain. "I don't think I even know Newman's Christian name."
"Maybe he doesn't have one. Oh, he also sent this." Cheryl reached into her pocket and took out an envelope. "He said you would remember it. I have no idea what it is."
Rae sat and thought for a minute. Cheryl could tell when she did remember. "Oh, yeah. He wrote something on a piece of paper, he wouldn't tell me what it was. Then he put it in the envelope, sealed it and had me sign across the seal. I guess I can open it now, huh?"
Rae began to slit the envelope with her finger. Inside was a sheet of paper with one line of writing on it. It said you won't want to come back. Rae smiled. "I guess he knew me better than I thought." Rae handed it to Cheryl. "Were you tempted to stay, in London I mean?"
"Some times. The pace of life is slower there. The types of crime are different. But no, I guess I have got so used to living and working here that I would have needed more than twelve months to change my opinion completely. I had a wonderful time, and saw some great places, but no, I'm glad to be home."
Steve began to make his rounds just after six o'clock. He felt as if he should be swinging his torch around in his hand. The uniform felt stiff and uncomfortable, as for the hat, well, he just couldn't wait to see Cheryl and Rae, who would no doubt have a lot to say about it.
Rae and Cheryl were just debating whether or not to close up and go home without seeing either Martin or Steve when they saw a security guard come around the corner and begin to walk towards them. Rae put the water heater back on, and began to make him a coffee. Then she and Cheryl both came out of the van and stood watching him.
"You know I just love a man in uniform." Cheryl had a grin on her face.
"Yeah, but somehow the hat makes all the difference. You know a man is serious about his work if he is prepared to wear a cap!" Rae was grinning too. It was nice to have somebody else with her to rib her partner.
"Good evening, ladies. I'm glad to see you are still open. I'll have a coffee, white, two sugars."
"Of course, you can tell he's new on the job when his shirt still has the creases from where it was folded up in the packet." Rae laughed then and walked up to him. "Aren't you working until six tomorrow morning? Maybe black would be better, wouldn't want you nodding off, now would we?"
Steve smiled but then he turned serious. "Have you seen Martin today?"
Rae shook her head. "Nope, but I didn't expect to. I got a message on my phone saying he was being inducted today. I don't think he will be here until tomorrow. There is a guy in there, but he hasn't come to get a drink or anything to eat."
"Food, you're doing food?" Steve looked amazed.
"No, just candy bars and potato chips. It's bad enough that I have to serve in your restaurant, without cooking for you too!"
"He makes you serve? I never served." Cheryl came out with Steve's drink.
"I made the big mistake of offering the first time I went in there. Now I have to work for my supper. But I found a way round it."
"Oh, yeah, how's that?"
"I eat take out!" Rae laughed then and headed back towards the inside of the van.
Steve looked at Cheryl. "You two seem happier together."
"Yeah, she apologised to me before I even had the chance to say anything to her. She's nice; I think we can be good friends. At least I hope so." Cheryl smiled and looked round as Rae came back.
"We are shutting up shop now. See you tomorrow. Mr." She stopped talking and peered at his nametag. "Mr. Rogers."
Rae and Steve both jumped as Cheryl burst out laughing.
"What?" Steve asked.
"Mr. Rogers? You're Mr. Rogers?"
"I still don't get it." Steve was looking more confused by the second.
"Neither do I," Rae added. "I guess it must be an American thing, huh?"
"Well, I'm missing the point too." Steve looked over at Cheryl and visibly paled as she began to sing.
"It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood, a beautiful day for a neighbor…"
"Oh, no. I never thought of that. They only ran that show back east when I was a kid."
Cheryl continued laughing. "My nephew just loves him, but Steve, in that uniform, you look more like Mr. McFeeley."
"You have a character called Mr. McFeeley! You know, that would have never got past the censors in England!"
"It was a long time ago, when it started here. Steve said he was a kid remember?" Cheryl was laughing too. "It would have been in the days of black and white TV, and bobby socks."
Rae had to turn away as laughter overtook her.
Steve just groaned and rolled his eyes. "Ok, you've had your fun. See you ladies, tomorrow around…?"
"Any time… after six I… guess." Rae was having difficulty breathing let alone talking.
Steve gave them both a mock salute and carried on up the dock. Rae and Cheryl got into the van and as Cheryl began to fill her in on the Mr. Rogers phenomenon they drove away.
The routine didn't vary for the next week. Martin began work at four the evening after Steve, and would come and get a coffee every hour or so, just so that he had somebody to talk to. Rae and Cheryl got into the routine of packing up for the night after they had talked to Steve each evening, normally about seven thirty or eight. But after seven days they were all getting frustrated and bored.
Rae headed home on the eighth night of their investigation and felt relieved that Jesse's car wasn't in the parking lot. She hadn't seen him since the night he had given her the wonderful massage. They had spoken on the phone, but that was all. He had been home a couple of times when she was, but she still hadn't worked out how to tell him about Steve so she had been avoiding him. She dragged herself up the steps and into her apartment. She flopped onto the sofa for a cuddle with Kira, and then she went into the bedroom and got ready for a shower. As she came out of the bedroom dressed in a pair of shorts and a t-shirt that Cheryl had brought her back from London which said I'm not a tourist I live here on it she picked up her magazine from beside the bed and then curled up with it on the sofa. She must have been reading there quietly for just over half an hour when there was a knock on her door. She looked through her peephole sighed and then opened the door.
"Rae?"
"Hi, sweetheart. You look like you've seen a ghost. Come in." Rae looked at him. Jesse was standing there with his mouth open. She gently placed her finger under his chin and pushed it shut.
Jesse came into the room and put his hands up and touched the hair that was loose over Rae's shoulders. "Wow. This is wonderful. You look so different." He looked up. "And your eyes. No, no I don't like them. Take them out." He looked away for a second.
Rae smiled at him. She had forgotten for a moment that he hadn't seen her since her transformation. "Ok, hold on, it doesn't take long." She went into the bedroom, and true to her word came back just about a minute later, her eyes brown once again.
"That's better. The hair I can cope with, but not the eyes. Now come here, it's been a long time since I kissed anyone with long hair." He smiled wickedly at her and pulled her towards him. Rae surrendered herself to him and felt his fingers pulling at her hair as they began to kiss. She had missed him so much, she moved her hands into his hair and they kissed passionately. Suddenly the ringing of Rae's cell phone broke the moment.
"Hi, Susan here…"
"Susan!" Jesse looked at her, a confused look on his face.
"Steve, are you all right, I can hardly hear you…Ok, I'll get on to Cheryl, we'll make sure we get there for first thing in the morning, before you go off duty. Is that all right…? Ok, bye."
"Susan, why are you going round with long blonde hair calling yourself Susan? Rae what is going on here?" Jesse was almost shouting and Rae looked shocked.
"What? Susan is my middle name I am using it on the docks. I have to use it on the phone in case somebody is listening. Why is there a problem?"
"No, no. I'm sorry. I used to go out with a blonde named Susan is all."
"Oh, look I have to call Cheryl. I won't be a minute."
"Rae, I am so tired I can hardly stand up. I'll see you tomorrow maybe, ok?"
Rae tried to hide her disappointment. She knew that she had been avoiding him but once he was with her she had been looking forward to spending the rest of the night with him, and she had just decided to talk to him about Steve. But she guessed it could wait. "Yeah, tomorrow." She kissed him gently on the lips. "Go get some sleep. I'll still be here tomorrow."
By four the next morning, a very sleepy Rae and an annoyingly bright Cheryl were sat in their van waiting for Martin to come off duty, and Steve to walk by. "So what was it that Steve said again, when he spoke to you?"
"If you could yawn a couple of times, and maybe look a little sleepy I will tell you."
Cheryl pretended to yawn then she smiled. "Now what was it that he said?"
"Just that he had been approached by a guy last night, who had asked him if he was the new security guard, and that he needed to speak with him before the end of his shift. So he had arranged to talk with him at five this morning, and then he was going to come and get a drink."
As Cheryl went to reply they both saw Martin walk out of the warehouse and do a double take at the sight of the van. He came across to them. "Good morning, ladies, what are you doing here so early? Has something happened?"
"Yes, Steve has been approached, so I would watch out, because it will probably be your turn next." Cheryl looked at her new partner. He suddenly seemed very young, and she was concerned for him.
"Well, apart from you two I haven't seen a living soul all night. I would go nuts if this was my real job. I have read three books and five magazines so far, and I've only been here a week."
"Well, I suggest you go get some sleep, and keep your eyes peeled tonight, ok?" This time it was Rae who was suddenly concerned for him, she put her hand on his arm as she spoke. Martin smiled at her; blushed a little and then he turned and walked away.
"I think my partner has feelings for you, Rae." Cheryl smiled, and was surprised to see Rae look extremely guilty.
"What, sorry, what did you say?"
"Martin, I think he has feelings for you. You know you could do a lot worse, he seems like a nice guy."
Rae recovered herself. "I think he is a little young for me, besides, I already have a really nice guy of my own."
"Sorry, I didn't mean to offend. Who is your really nice guy then?"
"Jesse, I thought you saw us together the other night when Jenkins was killed."
"Yeah, I did, but I just assumed he had tagged along, he does have that reputation. So, I want details, girl, how long have you and Jesse been together?"
"Since the first week I got here. I don't think I would still be sane if it weren't for him. He saved my life when Leticia Howard tried to kill me, and well, I don't even want to think what happened to him when I was being stalked." Rae stopped talking. Some time soon she had to talk to him about Steve, otherwise he would start to realise that she had been avoiding him.
Rae and Cheryl sat in the van with the heater running waiting for Steve. By six fifteen they were beginning to get worried. At six-thirty there was a knock on the side of the van and they both nearly jumped out of their skins. Rae looked out of the window, her hand on the glove box where she kept her gun, in case it wasn't Steve.
"Hey, where's my coffee!"
Rae breathed a sigh of relief and opened the door to the van and stepped outside. "Where have you been? I hate to admit it but I was getting worried."
"I had to make sure that my visitors had gone before I came over here. I have been sitting watching the water for ages."
"And?" Cheryl looked at him. "Did you find out anything?"
"Yeah, it's wet and there's a lot of it."
"Oh, funny man, you know what we mean!" Rae punched him on the arm as she spoke, and stuck her tongue out.
Steve smiled at her for a second and then was business like again. "Look we need to meet somewhere else so that we can talk. I'll see you at Community General in about an hour. I'll call Martin and we can discuss it there. Ok?"
Both women nodded and then without another word Steve turned and walked away. Rae climbed in the driver's seat and Cheryl got back in the passenger side, then they drove off, Rae resisted the temptation to beep her horn as she passed her partner, and they headed off towards the lot where they kept their van.
Mark wandered down the hallway from the ER towards the doctor's lounge. He was in desperate need of a coffee and a sit down. He opened the door and did a double take. He backed up, looked up the hallway to the left and then to the right, then he came back in.
"Dad? Are you all right?" Steve looked concerned.
"You know I was sure I worked in a hospital, and that this was a doctor's lounge, but I must be wrong. I'm in the squad room at North Hollywood Precinct. Sorry, I'll just leave now!"
Rae stood up and came over to her friend and began to laugh. "We could do with an impartial set of ears and eyes, Mark. Please come and sit down. I'll even make you a drink."
"Rae, is that you?" Mark looked at her.
"It sure is, do you like it?" She saw Mark nod as she moved over and poured him a coffee. As she sat back down the door opened once again and Jesse put his head round the door.
"Wow, a police convention."
"Come in, Jesse, and shut the door." Steve didn't sound quite so welcoming this time. He didn't look at Jesse, but over at Rae, who refused to make eye contact with either of them. Mark watched this and resolved to speak to his son later.
Steve stood up. "Ok, now I will try to make this brief. They sure didn't."
"Who didn't?" It was Jesse who spoke.
"Just listen, I will explain, ok?" Jesse nodded and was disappointed when Steve continued without acknowledging him. "I was approached last night by two guys who wanted to know if I was the new permanent security guard for our part of the dock. I said I was and they said that they had some business that they wanted to discuss with me. I played the idiot." He looked at Rae, "Don't say a word! And pretended that I had no idea what they were talking about. But I agreed to meet with them at five."
"So do you have any idea who they were? Could you describe them, so I'll know them if I'm approached." Martin looked at Steve. So far this assignment had been boring in the extreme, he was glad things were moving.
"It was dark and no I couldn't really describe them, but I know they were both either the same height as me or taller, but that's about it. Anyway at five, almost to the second they just turned up behind me. I didn't hear them coming, and they walked me over to a really deserted part of the dock."
"You should have been wired, Steve, anything could have happened." Rae looked worried. But Steve shook his head.
"Nope, they would have spotted it. Let's say they weren't very gentle in finding out whether I was armed."
"You are a security guard for goodness sake, of course you were armed." Rae looked disgusted. It sounded like they had knocked him about for fun.
"Yeah, but I think they wanted to get a message across, I dread to think what would have happened if they had found a wire. Anyway, as I was saying. They just arrived, and told me that if I wanted to continue working then I should turn a blind eye to the goings on in certain warehouses. They would tell me which warehouse at which time. They also told me that if I did this, it would be made worth my while. As they left one of them pinned me to the wall and said that if on the other hand I didn't agree or told anybody what had just gone down, it would be extremely stupid and I was obviously not planning to live very long."
Mark looked in horror at his son, and then realised that Martin, Cheryl and Rae were all smiling at him. "What, you think that is good? I don't like this, Steve, they threatened your life!"
"I know, Dad, that is what we wanted. There is something going on, something big if they are prepared to carry on threatening people. Martin, you need to be on your guard. I don't think it will be that long before they get to you. It must be the turn of your warehouse soon, or the other guy wouldn't have been killed. We need to decide how we are gonna react to this."
Martin looked at Steve; he didn't seem at all concerned that he had been threatened. He wondered if he would be able to react the same way himself when the time came. "Ok, I can get to Rae or Cheryl easier than you. If they contact me I'll let them know."
Rae stood up. "Ok, guys, I have been thinking about this, and Mark, I know you are gonna hate this, but let me finish, before you say anything. I think that Martin should agree to whatever these guys say; he will turn a blind eye, and let things happen. Steve, I think you should turn them down. We need to see what happens both ways, and I don't think a security guard would be as easy to bribe as a night watchman."
Steve had been nodding while Rae had been talking. "Yeah, I agree. Not only that, but as this is Martin's first go at undercover work. I don't want him in any more danger than is absolutely necessary."
Mark had been waiting to speak and now he burst in before anybody else could do so. "You need some sort of back up, Steve, the girls go home over night, that can't be, you need them there. Can't they do a night run on the van?"
This time it was Cheryl who spoke. "I guess we could. There must be night watchmen all over the docks. Maybe we could do a mobile van, but make sure we are central to Steve and Martin's bit."
They chatted for a while longer, but the plan had almost made itself. Steve and Martin went to get some sleep and Cheryl to make sure that they could actually use the van overnight in the docks. After Mark had returned to the ER Rae and Jesse found themselves alone.
"Hey, blondie, are you ok?" Jesse looked at her with a worried expression. She hadn't spoken to him and had sat at the other end of the sofa. Something wasn't right.
"Yeah, I'm ok." She took a deep breath. "Jess, what time do you finish?"
"Now, I've been on all night. I only came in to get a drink, then I was going home, that was about two hours ago. What's wrong, Rae?"
"Can we go home then? I need to talk to you, and you aren't gonna like what I have to say."
Jesse couldn't get her to say anything else, so he walked out with her to their cars and they drove home, Rae in front with Jesse looking at the back of Tom all the way.
Rae didn't wait for Jesse when she got to the parking lot, but went up to her apartment straight away. She went into the bedroom, and took her contact lenses out. Then she brushed out the braids that she had put in her hair, brushed it again and tied it up loosely to keep it out of the way, then she went to put the kettle on. By the time she had done that Jesse was knocking at her door. She opened it, and still without speaking she let him in.
Jesse had watched Rae walk into the building, and he had stayed in his car for a moment trying to gather his thoughts. Something had happened, Rae had been avoiding him, he knew that, and Steve wouldn't make eye contact with him. His heart sank. He had always known that there could be an attraction between the two of them, now he had a feeling that it was more than a possibility, it was a fact.
He sat down on the sofa and watched as Rae made them each a drink. Kira jumped up on his lap and he absent-mindedly scratched behind her ears. The purring began instantly, and in spite of himself he smiled.
Rae came and sat down on the chair opposite him. "I have to talk to you, Jess, I don't know what you are gonna say, or how you are gonna react but I have to tell you something." She waited, but Jesse said nothing. "The day that I got my hair done, about a week and a half ago, Steve came back here for a take out, so that we could discuss my behaviour since Cheryl had arrived." Rae stopped again. She had no idea how to go about this, but she knew that if she didn't say anything their relationship would be over. "I got angry, so did Steve, but we sorted things out. Then, then something happened. He kissed me, Jess. I mean really kissed me."
"Oh. And did you kiss him?"
Rae just nodded. She wanted him to speak, to ask her something, anything, to make it easier, but he sat in silence for what seemed like an eternity. Then finally to her relief he began to talk. "So, what are you telling me this for, Rae, because you want to break up with me, is that it?"
"No, oh God, no, Jesse, I love you. I'm sorry." She stood up and moved over towards the window. She felt so guilty and in the wrong. She began to speak again. "He kissed me, and it was good. I liked the feelings that it gave me. When he stopped and pulled away, I asked him if he enjoyed it and he said yes. Then I asked him if he wanted to do it some more, and he said yes again. So I kissed him. But it wasn't right. The second time, it wasn't right. When he pulled away from me that time, we both knew that it was something that we had to have done, but that was as far as it was ever going to go." She came back and picked up her cup and took a long drink from it. "I don't want to be with Steve, oh, I want to work with him, I don't want to be partner with anybody else, but I want to be with you, Jess. It's you I need beside me, in my bed, by my side. I just hope I haven't blown it."
Jesse's mind was in turmoil. He wasn't sure what he'd expected Rae to say, but he still couldn't quite grasp what she had told him. He stood up and headed for the door. "I will talk to you later." He opened it and was gone. Rae stood and looked at the back of the door for a long time.
Jesse walked back to his apartment, went in and sat down on the sofa. His mind was still in a whirl, but one thing he understood perfectly, the woman he loved had cheated on him with his best friend. He stood up, grabbed his car keys off the side and headed down to the parking lot.
Rae heard Jesse's door slam and she waited to see if he was coming to her. But when there was no knock she moved over to the window. Maybe he was going for a run; that was what she did when she needed time to think. She saw him move across the parking lot and get into his car. She moved back into the room as she heard her phone ring. She had no idea where he was going; she just hoped that he wasn't too angry or upset to drive safely.
Steve had finished his dinner, and was still sitting at the table reading the daily paper when he heard the doorbell. Sighing to himself he got up. He didn't often get the house to himself, and he had been enjoying the solitude. He walked out into the front hallway, saw Jesse through the glass, and opened the door.
"Steve, I want to talk to you, right now. I can either do it on the doorstep or we can go inside." Jesse's words were loud and strong, and as he barged in he roughly pushed Steve back into the house. Steve was so shocked that for a few seconds he backed away, both from the door and the venom in his friend's voice. Then he planted his feet firmly on the floor, put his hands up and over Jesse's wrists and pushed him gently aside. Jesse didn't even blink; he walked further into the house and up the stairs. Not quite knowing what else to do Steve shut the door and followed him in.
"Jesse, is there something I can do for you?" Steve was tired and not really thinking straight, or he would have realised why his friend was there.
"Yeah, you can tell me why you kissed my girlfriend!" Jesse had walked out onto the deck; he was leaning on the rail as he shouted at Steve, and his words were flung out at his friend. He had heard Rae's explanation and he knew he should let Steve talk too, but his first instinct was to fly off the handle at him again.
Steve sat down in a chair by the table. He could see that Jesse's hands were in tight fists. "I don't know, Jess. It just happened. One minute we were talking, trying to sort out Rae's feelings since Cheryl had returned and the next…" His voice just faded away.
"It just happened? How could you let it just happen, Steve? You kissed my girlfriend. You know how I feel about Rae, how much I love her, I can't imagine life without her. Were you trying to split us up? Do you want to be with her?" Jesse tried to keep his voice down, but he could feel himself getting more and more angry.
"No, Jess, I don't. I kissed her because, because she was there right up close to me, she wasn't even looking at me, she was looking down and I just did it, I turned her face up and ...God, Jesse, I'm sorry." Steve stood up suddenly, and moved across the deck. He reached the end of it and turned back round. He looked at the face of his best friend. He couldn't really put into words why he and Rae had kissed, and if he was honest he hadn't given a thought to anybody but himself at that moment, but now as he saw the pain in Jesse's eyes, he knew that it was quite possibly one of the biggest mistakes he had ever made, and one he didn't know if they could recover from. He took a deep breath, and, determined to try to save the friendship, he began to talk again. "I knew it was wrong, Jess, we both did, and straight away she said that she would tell you. She also said that although she loves me, it isn't the same way she loves you."
Jesse looked up intently as Steve spoke. "What did she say about me? Tell me, Steve." His voice was softer now, and Steve could hear the desperation in it.
Steve frowned, trying to remember exactly what she had said. "She said that it was you that she wanted beside her in her life. She loves you, Jess, really loves you, and I know that I was wrong to do what I did." Steve turned away from his friend and moved over towards the steps.
Jesse felt his anger dissipate and he ran his fingers through his hair. "Steve?" Jesse had nothing else to say. "Steve, I'm sorry."
Steve turned then and stared at him. He felt all his guilt, and the love for his friend well up inside him. "You have nothing to apologise for. I was way out of line, Jesse. You're right, she is your girlfriend, but more than that, you're my best friend, and I betrayed you. It's me who should be apologising." He held his hand out to Jesse, and was dismayed when Jesse didn't take it.
"I'm sorry that I barged into your home, Steve, I had no right to do that. I've heard your side of the story as well as Rae's. I need to sleep on this. But thank you for being honest with me." He moved in towards the house. "I will see myself out."