Steve sat in bed and tried to push the feeling of helplessness and despair away. He had been in the hospital far too long and he was about ready to jump out of the window. He had wanted to go home roughly half an hour after he had realised where he was.
There had been a personnel crisis in the hospital for just over a week, and Mark had been working double shifts almost every day. Rae had been complaining that she hadn't seen Jesse for more than five minutes in over a fortnight, but he always works long hours, and even Amanda had been helping out in the ER on a regular basis.
None of this, apart from worrying about his dad, would have bothered Steve very much if it hadn't meant that he had no one to look after him when he went home, and as much as he hated to admit it, he needed help.
He looked down at his hands. They were almost completely encased in plaster, there were just little air holes at the top of each finger, and, according to Jesse, they were taking longer than he had hoped to start to heal. He knew that he used his hands a lot, but he hadn't realised just how reliant on everybody else he would have to be, and how much he would hate it.
The x-rays had shown that not only had all the fingers been broken but also the metacarpal region of each hand. He now had pins all through his hands that would set off the alarms in any airport in the world. Jesse had insisted that the whole hand be encased in plaster, probably, he realised, because if he hadn't he would have been trying to move his fingers already.
Jesse finally agreed to release Steve into Jo's care ten days after he had been admitted. He was still very bruised and extremely sore, although he was beginning to look a little more like he normally did, but his ribs at least were healing well. There had been no internal damage caused by the breaks and Jesse was confident now that none would occur. He was far more worried about his attitude, he had become very defensive, and no one could do anything right when they were around him.
Jesse came into Steve's room on the evening before he was due to be released and looked at his friend. Jesse wanted to try and find out how Steve was feeling about going home, but every time the increasingly worried doctor had tried to discuss it Steve had shut him out.
"I need to tell you about what things you'll have to be aware of when you are home."
"Yeah, well, it's not the first time that I've had broken ribs, Jess, I'll cope." Steve was sitting up in bed he didn't look up at his friend as he spoke to him, his voice was flat and without expression. Jesse sighed, the defensiveness seemed to have been replaced by resignation.
"I know, but you haven't had broken hands before, and that is going to be very restrictive for you."
"Jo will be there, and Michael will be around too. I'm sure the fact that I can't lift a finger won't matter, because I won't have to!"
Jesse managed to keep the frustration from showing on his face. "You'll need to be very careful what you do do, the damage done was extensive, and it seems to be taking a long time to heal. You'll need to come back into the hospital to be x-rayed regularly, or if you prefer I can come get you. But you will need to be checked over."
"Look, Jess, I have been injured a lot of times, I have always survived before, this is no different. I don't need a lecture from you or my dad. I will be fine."
"Steve, when the casts come off, you know that you still won't be fit for duty, don't you?" Jesse looked at his friend. He didn't want to discourage him, but he did want a reaction, any type of reaction, other than the one of resignation he was getting now would be welcome.
"I know that Jesse, and I'll deal with it when I get there. Right now I just want to get out of here in the morning, and spend some time with Jo." Steve turned away from the concerned face in front of him. He had no intention of discussing his feelings with him, because he couldn't explain them to himself yet.
"I'm talking about twelve weeks, Steve."
"Twelve weeks, what, from now?"
"No, at six weeks you can start to resume some normal activities. But if you aren't ready then I won't hesitate to keep you in plaster longer. This is serious, Steve, and you are gonna need help, but together, and you know we are always in these things together, we will get you back to work, but it will be at least a couple of months after the plaster comes off before that happens. All in all I would say we are looking at twelve to fourteen weeks."
Steve laid there, the frustration threatening to burst out of him. But once again he managed to push the feelings down. His brain was sending signals to his hands to make them into fists and he couldn't comply. In the end he had to be satisfied with lifting them into the air and letting them fall heavily onto the bed covers.
Jesse was just writing some final comments on the chart and signing Steve's release form for the morning when he heard a noise behind him and turned to see Rae standing in the doorway.
"Hey, guys, how's it going?" She looked happy and relaxed. They knew that nothing was going to go down in Martin's warehouse over the next few days, so two other cops were manning the van and she and Cheryl were having some well-earned rest.
"Are you just about finished, Jesse? Only I am as free as a bird." Rae realised what she had said and looked over at Steve, but he didn't seem to be taking any notice of her. She looked at Jesse and he went out into the hallway.
Rae moved over and put her hand on her friend's arm. "Steve?" Her voice was soft and as he turned to her, she saw so much pain in his eyes that she thought that maybe her heart would break. "Oh, Steve, what is it, partner?"
"Nothing, Rae. Just don't go there, ok? Leave it." Steve looked away, he knew that if he started to speak everything would come pouring out, and he wasn't ready to face his fears and frustrations yet.
Rae leant over and kissed him gently on the cheek. Then she sat on the side of the bed and gently pulled him towards her. She hugged him just for a moment and then she released him. "You look after yourself, and let Texas help you, ok? I will come over and see you tomorrow afternoon, once you are settled back in." She straightened up and moved over towards the door. "If you need anything, Steve, anything at all, you let me know, and I will see what I can do."
Jesse watched as Rae tried to get through to her partner. He could tell that she was worried about him, just as he was. Steve had always been good at hiding his feelings, as a cop you had to be able to do it, and this wasn't the type of thing that could lead to depression or suicide, but Steve was a ticking bomb, and sooner or later he was going to explode, and someone was going to suffer because of it.
Rae came out and put her hand on his shoulder. "Are you finished? I thought we could go home together."
"Yeah, I'm finished. Until lunch time tomorrow I am yours." He smiled at her and took her hand. They walked down to the ER together, and after Jesse had signed out they drove home together as well.
Rae unlocked the door to her apartment and they walked inside. Kira came rushing out of the bedroom and wove in and out of their legs. Rae crouched down and picked her up, but she immediately struggled out of her arms and tried to climb up Jesse.
"I think she has missed you, but not as much as I have." Rae put her pet back down on the floor and then put her hand on Jesse's tie and pulled him towards her. "Come here." She placed her lips over his and began to kiss him. She felt his hands as they moved into her hair, and then she became unaware of everything except the feeling of belonging that swept over her.
As Jesse's hands moved out of her hair and began to pull her shirt out of her jeans the feelings of excitement rose in her and she was aware of relief too, relief that he still wanted her. She undid his tie and then discarded it onto the floor. Then as her top joined it she pulled him towards the bedroom.
Slowly she began to undo the buttons on Jesse's shirt, and he felt himself begin to respond to her. The feelings of hurt and betrayal were pushed to the back of his mind and he just let all his positive emotions take over. He let out a moan as he felt her lips on his again, and then she was pushing him back onto the bed and running her tongue in gentle circles around his nipples.
Rae had kissed, licked and nipped at Jesse for a little while before she began to play her hands down towards his pants. As she slid them off his body she felt his hardness through his shorts, against her hand. She looked up into his face, she wanted to do this so much, but suddenly she knew that she couldn't. "Jesse."
"What? God, Rae, don't stop now." Jesse was worried, he felt his excitement begin to die down and he looked at her.
"I can't do this, Jesse, not yet, I need to talk to you first. Please." Rae moved over and slid under the bed covers. She held Jesse's side up and he joined her. "I need you to know how much I love you, Jess. It is such a different type of love than the one I have for Steve. When I was waiting with him for the ambulance to come, and I knew that he was really badly hurt, I wanted to help him, to make sure he was safe. And today was the same, he is hurting so much inside, and I just can't reach him, but you, you I know I could reach, I could make a difference."
"I know, but maybe Jo will be able to." Jesse ran his fingers down the side of her face and she put her hand up and trapped them there.
She started to talk again; she needed to get what she felt out into the open. "When you were … with Levington, I just knew that if anything happened to you, my life would end and when you turned away from me after I was hurt, I couldn't bear it. I couldn't see a future where I would have a happy home life, because I thought you wouldn't be part of it. Jess, I never saw Steve that way, he is my partner and I love him, but you are a part of me, without you I don't exist in this form. Can you understand what I am saying?"
"Oh, God, honey, I can't even begin to tell you how your words make me feel. Thank you."
Rae smiled at him and moved his hand round so that she could kiss the fingers. She didn't have much left to say, but it was important. It was all important, but this needed saying. "I saw you shake hands with Steve, but you have to talk to him, Jesse, I need to know that you can forgive us." She ran her fingers through the long hair that was tangled up on the pillow and unconsciously teased out some of the knots.
"I have spoken to him. I saw him right away after you told me. By the time I got to the beach house I wanted to knock his head off his body, but I didn't. Which is probably just as well, because even now he could beat me to a pulp." Jesse smiled then and was relieved to see that Rae was smiling too. "Rae, I know that it was something that just happened, it wasn't planned, and it hasn't happened since." Jesse took a breath. "You asked me once if I trusted you and I said yes. I still trust you. I don't know if I can forget that it happened, but I can forgive. Rae, I love you, more than life itself. I won't let that one thing split us up."
Rae had turned to face him as he had said that he loved her more than life itself. She reached out to him then and began to kiss him again. As she did so the tears she had been holding back began to spill onto his cheeks, and he moved her back.
"Don't, sweetheart, don't cry. Just cuddle up to me, it will be ok now, it really will." She moved into his arms and laid her head on his chest. He felt her breathing as it became calm and he stroked her hair as the tears gradually slowed down and then stopped. They didn't speak; neither of them felt the need. After about half an hour he became aware of her hands moving down his body once again.
Rae began to run her fingers over his chest. She had felt so safe and loved as she had lain there, but now she needed more. Gentle movements began to get stronger and more insistent, and soon she was running firm fingers over his body. Rae knew that he was hard again long before he moved and she could feel him pressed against her body. She leant down and took him gently into her hand and played her fingers up and down until she could see that he was hers and hers alone. Then as he laid there his eyes afire with passion and longing she raised herself up and gently let him enter her. They began to move together, and as their bodies got faster, and Rae's muscles tightened around him all the emotions of the last few weeks were released with their orgasms and they both cried out at the same moment.
Steve sat in his bed and waited for Jo to come and visit with him. She had been coming in at all times of the day, but tonight he knew that he had to talk to her before she took him home the next day. He had tried to plan what words he was going to use, but in the end he had given up. He looked down at his hands. He knew what he had to say to her was going to hurt her, and maybe even finish their relationship, he wanted to be able to hold her hand while he talked to her, and he couldn't. He felt the tears of anger and frustration behind his eyes. He had been holding them in there for, it seemed like, forever, and he wasn't going to let them go now. As he opened his eyes again he jumped. Jo was standing in the doorway looking at him, her face reflecting the anxiety he was feeling.
"Honey, what's the matter? You look awful troubled." Jo had moved into the room as she spoke and now she was getting settled into the seat by the bed.
"I need to talk to you, Jo. I have something to tell you, and you are probably going to hate me for it. But I want you to hear me out, and wait until the end before you say anything, ok?"
"All right. Steve, are you sure you want to do this here? Maybe waitin' until you are home would be better?" Jo was worried now. She had seen how angry he was, even though he had kept it hidden most of the time. What if he didn't want her help, how would she cope with that?
"I kissed Rae." Steve just spat the words out and then stopped talking. It hadn't been any of the options he had planned in his mind. She couldn't hear him out now, because he had no idea what to say next, and he knew with absolute certainty that everything was about to go very wrong.
"You what?" Jo's mind was struggling to take in what he had just said. She'd had no idea what he was going to say, but that wouldn't have occurred to her. "You kissed Rae? When, why? My God, Steve, why did you tell me?"
Jo stood up and began to walk around the room. She had no idea how to respond to what Steve had just said to her, she didn't even know if she could respond.
"Why did I tell you? How could I not? I couldn't carry on our relationship if you didn't know what I had done."
"What makes you think I want to be in a relationship with you if that is what you do when I'm not here?" All of a sudden Jo knew she had to go home. She couldn't stay in the same room with him. She grabbed her purse from where she had left it on the end of the bed and without another word, or a backwards glance she walked away.
Steve watched the empty doorway, his thoughts racing through his mind. Of all the stupid things to have said. He flopped back on the pillows and shut his eyes tight. He was so close to spilling the tears, but he would be dammed if he would do that. Was it his fault that he was sitting here alone? No! Suddenly his anger flared. Why had Rae responded to him? None of this would have happened if she had backed away. He knew he was being unfair, but right now he needed somebody to blame and Rae was the obvious choice.
It was just after eleven o'clock when Martin walked over to the van to get his coffee. He recognised the two police officers working in there, although he had no idea who they were. He had just paid for his drink and candy and was slowly walking back to the warehouse trying to work out the one clue he had left on his crossword when a hand on his shoulder made him jump and spill his coffee on the floor. He spun round and came face to face with Larry Griffith.
"Man, what did you do that for? Now I have to go buy another drink."
"Forget your drink. We have a problem. The watchman on pier 28 is out with food poisoning, and we have a shipment coming in tonight. I need you to take it. I don't have the manpower to cover it, but the guy down there was trustworthy and he always received it himself. Can you do that?"
Martin managed to keep the huge grin that was trying to escape tightly locked away and just nodded. "Yeah, same time as before?"
"That's right. You will need this." Griffith handed over a clipboard with a large white envelope on it. "Once it gets to about two o'clock you open the envelope and it'll tell you what you are expecting. You make sure that it is stacked in exactly the right place in the warehouse and then you carry on with your shift. Understand?"
"Yeah, no problem, except that Cheryl was coming down later for, well it gets lonely here some nights." Martin stopped talking and hoped that Griffith wasn't quite as crude as some of the people he had heard since he had been working here.
"Well, you'd better get rid of her as soon as she gets here. I noticed she wasn't in the van, I guess it takes two people to do what she does, huh? Two o'clock. Oh, and this is for you."
Martin took the proffered envelope and slid it into his pocket. It was a shame that all this money had to go straight to the Captain, it felt good in his possession.
Rae rolled over onto Jesse and began to kiss him again. She could feel him begin to respond and she moved slightly and kissed his eyelids. As she moved away from them he opened them sleepily and grinned at her. "Hello, you."
"Hello you too." Rae gently moved her body so that she was off him once again, and then she began to kiss him on the mouth hard, and push her tongue in to explore once again. Her hair had just become entangled in her lover's fingers when the sound of a phone broke the moment.
"Oh, I don't believe this." Rae hauled herself up and padded into the other room. She picked up her phone and in a very unfriendly manner answered it. "This is Susan, and it had better be urgent!"
"It is, there is a drop going down tonight at 2.00pm. Cheryl is on her way, I need you here too." The phone went dead and Rae was left staring at it.
Rae moved back to where Jesse was sitting up in bed waiting for her. She stopped in the doorway and looked at him. There was something about seeing her man, bare chested, waiting in her bed for her that made her heart race. "Don't sit there looking that good, or I will never get to the docks on time." She came over to him and began to kiss him once again, she felt him respond and for a few moments her phone call was forgotten, then she pulled herself together and moved away.
"I have to go, there is a drop on for tonight. I'll call you, Jess." Rae was pulling on her clothes as she spoke. She slid her badge into her pocket and then put her gun round in the back of her jeans. She moved into the other room and phoned through to the Captain's home number and waited.
"Newman." The voice was not welcoming, but then she knew she hadn't been either.
"Sir, this is Detective Yeager, there is a drop going down tonight. I'm on my way in now, and Detective Banks is too. We will report in the morning. But do you want any arrests made, or are we going to try to keep Martin on the inside, in case we can get more information?" She could almost hear him as her boss turned over the possibilities in his mind, and took a deep breath.
"Leave it tonight, unless anything unforeseen happens, we go as we did before. I want to see if they deliver anything other than drugs and cigarettes before I start making arrests. Oh, and Detective, be careful, I have already lost one officer from the team on this I don't want to lose another."
Rae started for a moment and then realised that he must mean Steve. But to her losing an officer meant permanently. She guessed he must be tired. "Yes, Sir. I will keep you apprised of the situation. Good night, Sir."
Michael had finished loading the dishwasher and tidying up the kitchen, and was just settling himself in his own part of the house when he heard the front door slam downstairs. He moved quickly to the top of the main staircase and saw his employer as she hurled her jacket and purse onto the hall sofa.
"Good evening, Madam, can I get you anything?"
"Oh, God, Michael don't go creepin' up on me like that." Jo turned in fright as the voice of her butler and friend floated down the stairway.
"Would you like me to get you a drink? I would have been downstairs, but I thought you were visiting with Lieutenant Sloan this evening."
"Yeah, well so did I. Our plans for me to be lookin' after him for a while have probably changed."
Michael felt his heart sink. He had been extremely worried about how Miss Josephine would cope when he had heard about the Lieutenant's injuries. Now it looked like they had forced them apart.
"I see, is it something you would like to talk over with me, Madam?" He stood there. They had been together a long time, and he knew that if there were anyone she would confide in it would be him.
"Let's grab a coupla hot chocolates an' sit in the livin' room, Michael, you're right I could do with someone to discuss this with."
Five minutes later Jo was curled up on one end of the wine coloured sofa and Michael was sat across from her in the chair that Steve had sat in as he apologised the first time he had come to her house. She took a breath and began to talk.
"I went to see him tonight, an' he seemed real worried. I asked him what the matter was an' … an' he told me that while I was visitin' in Texas he kissed Rae. My boyfriend an' he kissed my best friend."
"Oh." Michael thought for a minute. It wasn't the injuries that had caused this apparent break up, that would have been harder to deal with. This, he had a feeling, he could cope with. "Did you ask him what the circumstances surrounding the kiss were?"
Jo had to laugh to herself; even in the midst of her despair Michael could still make her smile. Anybody else would have asked what had happened. Even Rae who was British, but not Michael he wanted to know about the circumstances surrounding the kiss! Rae came back to the front of her mind. She considered Rae her best friend, how could either of them have betrayed her like that.
"Madam?" Michael looked at her with concern. He wanted her to talk to him, that way he would know that she wasn't keeping everything locked up inside her.
"I have no idea." Jo looked slightly ashamed. "I didn't let him have a chance to tell me what happened. He told me he kissed Rae an' I just bolted. I knew I couldn't stay, I needed to get back here, back to you."
"Well, we can't deal with this little problem if you don't know what happened. I can't suggest that you go back to see him tonight because it is too late. But you need to find out why they kissed, don't you?"
"Yeah, I guess I do. But how could they do it, Michael? It would have never have occurred to me to go out with another man while I was stayin' with David, an' it didn't cross my mind that Steve would be tempted either."
"They work together all the time, Madam." He stopped talking as he saw Jo prepare to but in. He looked at her and she waited. "I am not trying to excuse what they have done, but theirs is a very intense relationship. You know what it is like to work closely with a partner. Give them time to explain to you. Otherwise you may live to regret it."
"Yeah, I guess you're right, as usual. What would I do without you, Michael?" Jo smiled and stood up, she stretched gracefully and he was reminded of a cat getting up from in front of the fire. "I will call it a night, an' go back in the mornin' an' try to understand the situation. Thank you."
Michael watched as she left the room and headed for the stairs. He picked up the two cups and walked back towards the kitchen. He hoped that there was a good reason for what had happened, because otherwise he could see trouble on the horizon.
Rae decided that she really needed a different car for tonight, so she drove to the precinct, parked Tom and then went and got the keys for a pool car. It was blue, and stank of cigarette smoke, but at least it wasn't as noticeable as her little vehicle. She parked in a quiet area of the docks and then made her way over to where the van was parked. She saw Cheryl talking to Martin and so she paged her and then waited quietly in the shadows.
It was another five minutes before Cheryl joined her. Rae could see that she was ready for action, and she smiled to herself. "I guess you missed all the excitement, while you were in London. I bet you didn't get to do this very often."
"I took part in a couple of raids, but I can't say that I spent weeks in a roach coach pretending I had the hots for my partner, no." Cheryl smiled at Rae and turned towards the area of the warehouse again. "Ok, Martin has to supervise the unloading of the shipment tonight. The guy on dock 28 went down with salmonella or something, so we now know that he is in on this. Did you speak to the Captain?"
"Yeah, he says to go with the plan from before. We don't make any arrests unless we have to, maybe if Martin does well tonight he can get a little closer to the other guys a bit higher up. And when this is all over, somebody can tell me what a roach coach is."
Cheryl laughed, "That's not difficult, it's a van that sells food, and isn't the cleanest place!" Suddenly she was businesslike again. "Ok, Martin told Griffith that I was coming for a little visit tonight. He was instructed to get rid of me. Well, I don't plan to go very far, we need to see if we can spot any of the delivery men, and also hopefully the pick up guys."
"So we keep back and keep our heads down." Rae tried to stifle a yawn, and for a second her mind wandered to her warm bed with Jesse fast asleep in it.
It was just before two o'clock when a container ship berthed outside Martin's warehouse complex. He picked up his clipboard and opened the envelope. He was still wary of being watched so he had made sure that he did nothing against the orders he had received.
He watched as a tall, swarthy looking man came down the gangplank and walked towards him. "You Anderson?"
"Yep, and your name is?"
"None of your business. Right let's see your inventory." The man put out his hand towards the sheet of paper Martin had just finished reading. "Ok, that ties with what I got. I will be back." He moved back onto the ship and Martin was very glad that he'd had time to copy down roughly what was on the piece of paper, because he had a feeling he wouldn't see it again.
He watched as a pallet was swung up off the deck of the ship and over towards his position. There seemed to be a lot of boxes on it covered in a net type protection. He moved out into the yard in front of his double doors. He was feeling very nervous all of a sudden and he couldn't tell why.
He knew that there were cigarettes and drugs on the pallet, but also some magazines and guns. There were going to be two pallets so he had a feeling he would be working all night to unload it. He had seen how the drugs had been packed last time, and the cigarettes; well there had been very little effort to even hide them. He imagined that the guns would be well hidden, and if he were packing magazines he would put them inside packs of ordinary stuff.
He moved his hand behind him and felt the reassuring presence of his own gun in his waistband. He didn't plan to use it, but it helped to know that it was there. As he put his hands in his pockets he found the envelope and opened it. He counted the money and found that for actually receiving the goods and storing them the going rate, no correction, my going rate, was $2,500.
Not for the first time, Martin wondered how the goods were moved from the warehouse. He had left a building full of contraband the last time the delivery had been with him, and when he had got into work the following night it had all disappeared. Maybe if he hung around a bit sorting things out, he would see what happened next.
Cheryl and Rae moved quietly closer and closer to the pallet. They had been watching through a small set of binoculars and knew that if they wanted to identify the guy on the ship they had better get nearer quickly.
Cheryl saw Rae crouch down behind some storage bins her gun already in her hand and she carried on a little further down the dock. As she pressed herself up against the wall of a building just opposite from where Martin was standing Cheryl felt her foot snag against a wire on the floor and she put her hands out onto the building to stop herself from falling.
All of a sudden the whole area was flooded with light, and an alarm began to sound. Martin spun round and saw Cheryl standing just the other side of his delivery area, the unnamed man from the ship came rushing down towards him and Larry Griffith came running from behind his warehouse.
Cheryl realised with a sinking heart that she knew the man from the ship, she had arrested him twice on drug related charges, and she had no doubt that he would recognise her.
"Hey, she's a cop!" The voice floated out across the night air, and Cheryl reached into her shoulder holster for her gun.
"Freeze, police." She made sure that her gun was pointed at Martin, hoping that she could preserve his cover.
"What the hell is going on here?" Larry Griffith was on the defensive in an instant. "She's your girl isn't she?"
"Yeah, but I didn't know she was a cop!"
Cheryl was moving towards them as they were speaking, she knew that she had blown the operation and needed to redeem herself.
Martin saw Griffith reach for a gun and decided that he had better solve the problem. As Cheryl moved around so that her back was towards the water he pulled his gun and fired.
Cheryl felt a burning pain in her shoulder as she was blasted backwards, and unable to save herself found she was falling into the black and rancid waters of the docks.