Philip Levington lay back on his incredibly uncomfortable bunk and, with his hands behind his head, began to smile as he saw the sun come up. This was the last time that he would be here, waking up in this cesspit. And all because of a particularly soft headed warden and an easily led councillor. The last session of his victim awareness course floated back into his mind. He had been slowly, over the last few weeks, pretending that he was beginning to understand the effect his behaviour had had on his beloved Rae. Showing that he now knew it was frightening to treat somebody that way. Frightening, rubbish! He had seen how she had looked at him at his photo store. He knew she was his; she knew it too and soon so would everybody else. He let his mind wander, and began to replay the last session over in his mind.
"Good morning, Mr. Levington, how are you feeling today?"
"Oh, good morning, Mrs Hewitt, I'm not sure how I'm feeling to tell the truth." He'd smiled at the lady in front of him. She was a tall angular woman and he had hated her on sight, but he knew that she was the key to his future plans, and after a session or two he had begun to understand how she worked and had started to play her just as he played any woman he needed something from.
"Oh, I see, well, it's just you and I this time, everybody gets a one to one session every now and again, and today it's your turn. So maybe you would like to sit down and we can try and work out together just how you are feeling, what do you say?"
He had waited while she sat and then he had done the same. "Thank you, I have been trying to put a name to my feelings all morning, and the closest I can get is that I am ashamed." He had paused then, he knew he would get a response, and he had been right.
"I realise that it is not a very pleasant feeling, but I have to tell you, Phil, I can call you Phil can't I? Just while we are alone together." Receiving a nod she had carried on. "Being ashamed is a very positive sign. If you are ashamed of how you treated your victim then we can move on to the next stage."
"I began to think about what I had done, and I realised that I had probably frightened her." Phil had his head bowed, but his eyes hadn't left Mrs Hewitt's face. He had seen that he had begun to convince her, so he had played what he hoped was his trump card.
"When I was a boy at school, I got a note in my locker. It was nasty and the words hurt me, I had no idea who it was from and it frightened me. Everybody I looked at, or who spoke to me could have been the author. I got to thinking last night that maybe that was the way she felt when I sent her my letters."
Mrs Hewitt had beamed. "Oh, that is wonderful, that you not only realise what you put your victim through, but that you can identify with her."
Levington had wanted to cheer. He couldn't believe that this woman could be a part of the victim support system. He was glad that he hadn't been assigned to the male instructor who was working with the second group from the jail.
"The end result of this scheme is for you and a person who has suffered a similar crime to the one you committed to meet and for them to help you understand the effect your crimes have had on the life of your victim since. I think that you are getting close to that stage, but first you will need to write and send a letter to explain what you have been doing on this course, and how you feel you have benefited from it. Then if she, it was a she wasn't it?" Levington had just nodded; he had been very interested in what she had to say. "Then if she wants to reply to you we will make sure you receive that letter."
Mrs Hewitt had reached into her bag and extracted a writing pad, placed it on the table in front of him, put her hand back into the bag and handed him a pen. "I have some work of my own to start, so I will leave you to work out your letter." With that she'd moved to the back of the room and taken out a sheaf of papers.
Phil had sat for a long while working out what to write. He'd known that it would be vetted not only for the content, but also for pointers to see how well he had accepted the regime laid down on the course. Slowly he'd begun to write.
Dear Detective Yeager,
I hope you will forgive my writing to you, but I feel the need to explain a few things.
I have been taking part in a scheme designed to help prisoners understand the effects of their crimes on their victims. I am sure that being a member of our police force you have heard all about this.
I know now that I frightened you very much, and I apologise. My scheme co-ordinator feels that I am ready to move to the next stage and undertake a face-to-face meeting with someone. I realise that this is a very big step both for me and you but I hope you will be able to agree to meeting someone yourself and gain something from it.
I can see that we both need to be able to move on from this and maybe a meeting of this kind would be the best way to start.
I hope you will reply to this letter.
He'd read through what he had written and smiled. The letter was so obviously, to him at any rate, forced, but he'd a feeling that it would get him what he wanted. He'd walked, like a schoolboy handing in his homework, up to where Mrs Hewitt was sitting and placed the letter on the table in front of her. She'd read through it, and he knew he had succeeded.
"This is very good. The only thing I would change is that where you have me and you, it should be you and me. I will show this to the warden, but I can assure you that there will be no trouble with us sending this to Detective Yeager for you. You need to be aware that it normally takes a victim about a month to reply, we send a letter of explanation with your letter, but it can be a shock to some people that this type of scheme even exists.
"Yes, Ma'am, I realise that, and I am prepared to wait."
Levington lay on his bunk and smiled. It had been the morning after his meeting with Mrs Hewitt that the warden had informed him that he was being moved to a prison further out into the country where the inmates undertook fire watches, and weren't guarded quite as much as he was at the moment. Phil hoped that it would mean that he could increase his contact with the outside world, and find out some more of what she was doing with her life. In all the time he had been working with Mrs Hewitt they hadn't mentioned what he had done to the doctor. Maybe they would address that after he'd had his meeting. He shrugged, it was of no interest to him what the doctor knew or thought, it wouldn't matter to either of them before long.
Jesse watched as Steve slowly regained his composure and straightened up and then his best friend smiled sheepishly at him. "Hi, Jess, could you please pass me my chair? I think I've seized up."
Jesse moved into the room and placed the wheelchair directly beside him. Steve, slowly, with Jo's help stood and moved himself into the chair, the pain from his ribs reminding him just how bruised he still was. He wouldn't admit it to anyone, but he felt extremely vulnerable just standing up, knowing that he couldn't use his hands, either to push himself out of the chair, or to save himself should anything happen. "Ok, buddy, I'll come and see you in about half an hour to sign your discharge papers, and run through the instructions for what you have to do at home." He smiled at Jo and then watched as they left the room.
He turned to Rae who was unconscious on the bed. He could see that the ventilator was still breathing for her, and was glad that she had a mask on instead of throat tube and that she was wrapped in the silver heat-retaining blanket. As his eyes swept her pale face he let out a gasp. He hadn't realised that they'd had to perform a tracheotomy. Although on reflection he wasn't surprised. He knew that more than anything else that had happened would freak her out. He had no idea what had occurred to result in both Rae and Cheryl ending up in the ICU, but he knew that an injury to her neck would need some careful guidance.
He moved to the end of the bed and picked up her chart. He let his eyes glance over it. Sometimes he wished that he wasn't a doctor, it mostly happened when Rae was in the position she was in now. He knew how treacherous the water was, and that she wasn't out of danger yet. The chart showed all the procedures that had been undertaken, and he knew that someone would be round soon to check her over again. As he stood there and tried to detach himself from the medical side of things, and become just a worried partner he saw Rae begin to come round.
Rae became aware that she was no longer outside. She felt cold, but not as bone numbingly cold as she had, and she could breathe, although she thought that it wasn't right. The realisation that there was something wrong with her throat made her begin to panic and her eyes opened wide in horror.
"Rae, honey, shhh, it's ok. Calm down, you're fine now, but you mustn't fight the machines, let them help you. Take my hand and look at me, Rae."
She tried to shake her head, then Rae shut her eyes again, she didn't want to look, and she was just too scared to find out who was there. As she moved she felt her fear begin to rise, and she felt pain on her neck as well, that was too much for her and this time blind panic took over. Even with the machine her breathing became quick and shallow and Jesse buzzed insistently for the nurse, talking to her all the time, although he knew that his words were having no effect. He instructed the nurse to get Alex immediately and then seeing Rae's fingers begin to travel towards her throat, gently pushed her arms back down onto the bedcovers.
Rae tried to scream, she wanted to move her hands up to pull whatever it was that was on her throat away, but somebody was holding her down. She could hear a voice, but in her fear she had no idea who was talking to her. She tried to scream again, but no noise would come out, she began to have trouble breathing, and even though her eyes were tightly shut she knew that if she opened them the world would be hazy.
Alex came rushing into the room, a sedative filled syringe in his hand. "Jesse, what happened? She shouldn't have even come round yet. My God, look at her monitors, she's going into shock! He inserted the syringe into Rae's IV and depressed it. Slowly the liquid went into her body, and Alex and Jesse watched with anxiety that gradually changed to relief as she began to finally escape the panic that had gripped her.
Jesse sank into the chair beside the bed. His hand still wrapped tightly around Rae's. He looked at the young doctor standing in front of him and let out a sigh. "Thank you, Alex. I think that the next time she comes round we need to get Brian Dobson up here. You know how she feels about anything near her throat, and to have things done to it without her knowledge, well, you saw the result." Jesse shook his head. He had a feeling that this was going to cause a big problem, and it was one that could take a long time to sort out.
The trouble that had been caused by Leticia Howard strangling Rae at the end of her first case had been there at the back of her mind ever since. He had noticed that she never wore anything tight around her neck, not sweaters, shirts with the top two buttons done up, no choker type necklaces, nothing. Rae had told Jesse that the dress Amanda had worn to the Community General Fundraising ball had been her first choice, but that because of the neck she couldn't even keep it on long enough to show Amanda how she had looked. Whatever had happened the night before had reawakened her nightmare, and this time it wouldn't be so easy to put it back to sleep where it belonged.
Jesse shuddered. Sometimes he wished that he had carried on seeing Brian himself. He had visited with him twice after he had been abducted by Philip Levington mainly to try and assuage the guilt he had felt in letting Rae down. He could do with someone to talk to right now, just to try and get his feelings sorted out. He loved Rae, and he couldn't imagine living without her, but each time something like this happened his fear came rushing to the surface, and it was all he could do to stop himself from running as fast as he could as far away as he could. In fact the last time, he had given in to it and it had resulted in some of the worst months of his life. He knew without a doubt that they were meant for each other, and that Rae felt that way too, but he wondered just how much more of this her mind and body could take.
Jesse started as he felt a hand on his shoulder.
"Jess? Are you ok?"
He heard the worried voice of Alex and brought himself back to reality. "What? Oh, yeah, sorry, Alex, my mind was wandering." He looked at his watch. "Look could you stay with her just for a while? I need to go and discharge Steve."
"Yeah, sure. I have tests that I need to run; so I will do them while I know she isn't gonna come round. I don't want to frighten her any more than she is already." Alex picked up the chart from the end of the bed. "Don't hurry, I will have you paged if I have to leave."
Jesse gave his young friend a smile and headed off towards Steve's room. He wondered as he walked what had happened to Martin. He knew that Cheryl, Rae and he were working as a trio since Steve's accident. He found it very worrying that the two of them were in the ICU and there was no sign of the young detective.
If Jesse had let his mind wander any longer he would never have been able to imagine just what Martin was doing. Martin was having trouble dealing with it himself.
It had been about four hours after they left the dockside that Griffith had come into the room where Martin was trying to get some sleep and shaken him. "Hey, Anderson, wake up."
"What? Who…? I mean pardon?" He shook his head and tried to come quickly back to reality.
"Hey, man, wake up!"
"Sorry, I haven't been asleep for long. I guess I'm not cut out for life on the ocean waves."
"Yeah, well we won't have to be here for long. We are gonna move down the coast a bit and unload there. Then we will need to lie low for a bit. There will be a lot of heat you shooting a cop an' all."
Martin shuddered. You don't know the half of it! "Yeah, I guess there will be. Ok, then, let's do it."
"First of all, what happened to your gun?"
Martin put his hand round to the back of his pants and removed it from the waistband. Griffith reached out and took the weapon out of his hand, then he walked out of the cabin and hurled it as far as he could, and Martin thought he heard a faint plop as it disappeared into the depths.
Larry smiled as he walked back towards Martin. "There, that is sorted. Now all we have to do is get the merchandise unloaded and we are home free."
"You know, I have a question. What happened to Cheryl's van last night? I don't remember there ever being a night when it wasn't there."
"Ah, well, you know, it was such a shame, but they just couldn't get it to start! I understand that there was trouble with the distributor cap."
Martin realised what had happened and managed to smile, in what he hoped was a conspiratorial manner. "I guess you're right then, we are home free."
Captain Newman walked down the hallway at Community General until he got to the doctor's lounge. He knocked on the door and waited. The door opened and he smiled at the welcoming face of Mark Sloan. "Doctor."
"Captain, how can I help you?"
"I understand, at least I think I understand, that you have two of my officers here." The Captain looked a little confused.
"Yes, that's right, I arranged for you to be alerted. Is there a problem?"
"Well, I would like to know which officers you mean, what happened to them, whether I can get details of their conditions. The sort of information I normally get."
"And you didn't get that this time?"
"Ah, no. I was told, and I quote. 'This is Community General Hospital; I am ringing to let you know that we have two of your officers here. They are in the ICU.' Before I could ask anything the line went dead. I had a feeling that I would do better to come see you."
"Yes. We have a reasonably new nurse. I think I may have to have a word with her. Her communication skills aren't the best. I'm afraid that both Cheryl and Rae are in the ICU, they were dragged from the docks last night, and Cheryl had been shot. But we have no idea what happened to them or to Martin. I'm sorry. Did you want to come up?"
"Yes, I think that would be a good idea, maybe you can fill me in on their condition as we walk. Let me know the nurse's name, I'll make sure that she never gets a chance to join the force."
"I can understand that. Can you imagine if she was in charge of informing councillors what they had a client in jail. They wouldn't know if it was for stealing apples or murder one!"
Captain Newman smiled at Mark. He liked the man, and the chance to share a light moment with him was an unexpected pleasure.
"Her name is Nurse Willis."
By the time the two men had arrived outside Cheryl's door the Captain knew exactly as much as Mark. The light moment had vanished and he was very worried about both of them, but he needed to know who had shot his officer. "Did Doctor Bentley run any tests on the bullet?"
"No, as far as I am aware she sent it over to forensics as soon as it was retrieved…Oh, Alex, can you let the Captain know how Rae is?"
"Yeah, sure. I'm afraid it's not good. She is recovering from her drowning, but she had to have a tracheotomy and she is still on a ventilator, she woke up a while ago, and well, even though she wasn't fully conscious, she had a full blown panic attack. I think that there are going to be some problems to be dealt with when she wakes up. Doctor Travis feels the same way."
Captain Newman walked into Cheryl's room and looked down at his officer. She hadn't been back in his squad room for very long, but he was glad she had returned. When Rae had asked to become a permanent member of his division he had wondered whether Cheryl was feeling the same way in London. He had been very relieved to know that she hadn't been. He could hear all the machines beeping and see the ventilator as it worked. He looked down at the heat-retaining blanket and looked back towards the two doctors. "Are they like the things you see marathon runners wearing after the race?"
Mark nodded. "Similar. They stop any lowering of the body temperature. There is always a danger of hypothermia with near drowning cases, and the docks are colder than inland waterways. They are both warming up now, but we will keep these on them for a while longer so that they maintain their temperature again. There is also a danger of infection, and for a while I was very worried about Cheryl, but I think we have everything under control now."
"I see. Ok." The Captain left Cheryl's room and looked in through the door at Rae. She looked so peaceful it was hard to believe that according to Doctor Martin she had been panic stricken just a little while earlier.
"And Lieutenant Sloan, where is he?"
"He is just being discharged. He will be available later, if you would like to speak to him then." Alex had a feeling that the Captain was the last person Steve would want to see right now. When he had paged Jesse to let him know the Captain was with Rae Jesse had advised against him visiting with Steve too.
Jesse had arrived outside Steve's door just in time to see Jo begin packing his few belongings into his bag. There was a pair of jeans and a shirt neatly folded on a chair, and Steve was sitting on the side of the bed waiting for Jesse.
"Hey, buddy, you ready for me to check you over ready for discharge?"
"No, I thought I'd stay a few more days!" Steve turned to him, and Jesse was delighted to see that there was a sparkle in his eyes again.
"Yeah, funny man. Jo, if you wouldn't mind."
"Sure, honey, I'll be right outside the door, ok, I'm not going anywhere, I promise." She kissed him gently on the forehead and left the room. As she sat outside the door Jo shut her eyes and let her head lean back against the wall. She had a feeling that Jesse was right about Steve and Rae their relationship was unique. They had about five or six years history crammed into twelve months. Everything had been concentrated down since Rae had arrived in LA.
She remembered back to her days as a cop in Austin, Texas. Her first partner had been a slob, the black and white they drove had been full of McDonald wrappers and soda cans nine days out of ten. Every tenth day she had given up and cleaned it out. Her partner when she made detective had been another woman. Ann Riley. She smiled, she hadn't thought about Ann in a long time. She wondered what she was doing these days. They had got on really well, and had for a while shared an apartment. It had been a two-year period, which had been exciting, and exhilarating. Both of them had been sharing an apartment out of choice for the first time, except for their time at the police academy, and as was her normal practice, Jo had kept her wealth a closely guarded secret, so their place had been small and frugally furnished.
Jesse came out of the room and saw Jo obviously deep in thought. He coughed quietly and then placed his hand on her shoulder, hoping not to frighten her.
"Oh, Jesse, I guess you've finished then? Can I come back in?"
"Yeah, I need to talk to you both, but before we go in, I have to just say this. Steve is going to be a difficult patient, you need to realise that, and if at any time, day or night it gets too much for you and you need someone to take your frustration out on I want you to promise me that you will call me, ok?"
"Jess, I will be fine."
"Jo, promise me, otherwise I may not let him into your care."
"Ok, ok, I promise. When he gets to me I will call you." Jo smiled at him and mentally crossed her fingers. She knew that it was going to be a hard time for both of them, but she was also sure that she would be able to cope, but it was nice to know that there was somebody who cared enough to be available for her twenty-four hours a day.
They moved into the room together and Jo was surprised to see that Steve was already dressed, not in jeans, but in a pair of khaki shorts.
She raised her eyes at the sight and he grinned. "Hey, I've heard it is hot outside, I thought these would be better."
"I need you to be aware of the areas that are still very painful for Steve, which is why he doesn't have his shirt on yet." Jesse moved over towards his best friend and stood next to him.
"Oh, an' there was me thinkin' you had left that just for me to put on him!" Her grin was wicked, and she was gratified to see both men blush.
"Um, yes, right, well, his ribs are healing nicely, and the pain will slowly diminish as time passes." Jesse had recovered himself now and began to let them know what it was he felt they needed to know. "There is no danger of any internal injuries resulting from the broken ribs as I have already told you, but a good trick if the pain gets too bad is to hug a pillow and breath into it. It softens the painful area."
Steve and Jo both looked at him as if he was slightly batty. "And you used one yourself did you when you had broken ribs?" Steve's tone was doubtful."
"Yes, I did, so ner ner de ner ner."
Steve burst out laughing, and then wrapped his arms around his torso with a grimace. "Oh, God, Jess, don't." His voice was tight with pain and Jesse without a word handed Jo a pillow off the bed and watched as she gently moved Steve's arms and placed the pillow in the right area.
Steve took in a pained breath and then looked at his friend. "I know exactly where you got that from, I have only ever heard that once before."
"Hey, I'm guilty as charged, what can I say, I love the woman." Jesse smiled but he had to push his own feelings of panic for Rae back down inside him, and bring himself back to the matter, quite literally at hand.
"Ok, it gets serious now. We need to work out a plan for Steve's hands. Normally he would already be doing basic physical therapy work but because of the seriousness of the injuries, and the need to keep them fully encased that won't be a concern for quite a while. I would say for at least another six weeks, but I will want you to come in for x-rays weekly." Jesse paused for breath and looked at the two friends in front of him. They were both concentrating completely on what he had to say.
"I can't begin to understand how it is gonna be for you, Steve, you will be to all intent and purposes helpless. I have to say that if Jo wasn't going to be looking after you, there is no way I would have let you go home full time. You would have had to come into the hospital with your dad, stay here as long as he did, and then return home with him." Jesse found himself running his fingers through his hair, and embarrassed by the realisation that Steve couldn't even do that he clasped them behind his back. "Right, all you can do is take each day as it comes. Hopefully by the time you are x-rayed next week we will see some improvement in the condition of the bones. The aim is to remove the pins in the end, but that we can talk about again."
Jesse paused again and looked directly at Steve. "I have already told Jo, that any time day or night if she needs someone to scream at to call me. The same goes for you, buddy. Get the hospital, Bob's, Rae's home number and the hospital programmed in so that all you have to do is press one key to reach them. That way you can get through to me without having to ask Jo, and, Steve, I will expect to hear from you."
Steve just nodded. As he had listened to Jesse he began to realise that without Jo he would be almost completely incapacitated. Already he hated the idea of being reliant on her. Not just her, everybody. He started as he felt Jo's soft hand on his face and then realised that she was holding his shirt behind him. He slowly raised his arms and slid first the left and then the right one into the short sleeves; he felt the smooth material as she pulled it up and onto his body and shut his eyes as she began to button it up. He moved one of his heavy and unwieldy hands up behind her head, ignoring the feelings of restriction in his chest. He pulled her down towards him and kissed her passionately on the lips.
Jesse had moved out into the hallway once he had finished talking. He placed Steve's papers on the reception desk and signed his part of them. Then he waited for Jo to wheel Steve out so that she could sign for him.
It seemed as if he had worked a complete day already, but as he glanced up at the clock he realised that it was only just coming up to midday.
Philip Levington put the last prison issue shirt into his holdall, pulled the picture of his mother down from the wall and turned it over. On the back of it was his favourite picture of Rae, the one he had taken at the murder scene the first day he had spoken to her. She was busy sorting out magazines on a kitchen counter and looked young, beautiful and relaxed. He ran his finger across her lovely face and then slipped the picture back into its cardboard frame that hid it from view. Sighing he put the picture into his bag and zipped it up. Then he walked over to the door to his cell and banged on it. A guard opened it up and he walked out. Ten minutes later he was sitting in the prison van waiting at the security gates. As they passed out into the sunlight he caught a glimpse of the clock in the gatehouse, it was two minutes to twelve.