Phil returned to his motel room and began to re-shape his plan. He couldn't believe that he had only been able to see her round the reception desk instead of asleep in her room. He would have to start again. He couldn't wait much longer to be back in control of her life. The list that he had been keeping in his mind needed to be written out, then he could make sure that everything fitted into place this time. First of all he grabbed the newspaper and looked in the rental section. Soon there were three places circled and he had appointments to view all of them. Then he called his mother, she was vital to the successful outcome of his long-term plans and he needed to know that she was getting ready. Once he had done all of that he changed out of his scrubs, bundled them up and threw them in the trash. Then he packed his meagre suitcase and checked out. He had shown Louise how to pick locks and just as he had known she would she had gotten the information for him and now he had the lever he needed.
It was the breakfast cup of coffee that did it for Steve. Mark had eaten with them before heading into the hospital after checking that both of them were set up for the day. Jo had got up from the table and was taking the boxes and the bowls into the kitchen when she heard a crash and an oath from the deck where she had been just a moment before.
"Honey, it's ok, don't worry, I'll get it for you." Jo could see that the mug had fallen and smashed on the ground and that there was a river of coffee running off and down into a puddle on the sand below. As she moved across to deal with it Jo's foot slipped in the liquid, and she crashed to the ground. She lay there winded for a moment and then she was aware of Steve getting up and storming down the steps and away.
"Steve." Her voice wasn't strong, she didn't have enough breath left to shout, so she wasn't sure if he was ignoring her, or just didn't hear her. But either way she was very hurt that he had left her lying there. Slowly she regained her composure and stood up. She looked out onto the sand but she couldn't see Steve anywhere. Suddenly worried she went down the steps and ran straight into him at the bottom.
"Look where you're going," he snapped, as he brought his arms protectively around his ribs. The words stung as she was about to apologise.
"Ok, this ends right here an' now. Inside, your part of the house, come on." Jo grabbed him by the arm and steered him gently towards his own door. She knew it was unlocked because she had come out of it earlier to shake out his bedroom rug.
Once they were inside and the door was closed Jo turned on him. "What the hell is the matter with you? Didn't your daddy teach you some manners when you were a boy?"
"What is the matter with me? Oh, for God's sake open your eyes and look." Steve held up his hands. "I am completely reliant on you, and you just love it."
"You think I like this… this purgatory? I have been here for you every minute since I got back from Texas, I have washed you, fed you, tucked you in at night, hell, I even sat by an' listened when you told me why you kissed my best friend. But just now you couldn't even wait a minute to see if I had hurt myself slippin' on your spilt drink. I could be ridin' across the plains right now instead of nurse maidin' you, you ungrateful oaf!"
"So, how do you think I feel about it all? Have you ever once thought how it feels to have the woman you love, the woman you want to make love to, have to put you to bed, get you up in the morning, cut up your food like a two year old. I can't even go to the bathroom alone. You have me right where you want me, and I don't think I can stand it any longer." Steve's voice was raised and his eyes were full of anger. He tried to move away from her, but Jo was having none of it. She placed her hands on his wrists, just above where the casts ended and she gripped him tightly.
"Ok, I will say this to you just the once, so you had better listen, an' listen good. I came back from my home, from my time with my brother, who I hadn't seen in three years, because I thought you needed me. I sat on the beach with you the other day an' listened to you when you told me that you were gonna tell me important things there on the sand because it worked for Rae, for Rae mind you, the woman you kissed. I took all your cuttin' remarks, all your sulks an' tantrums because I felt for you, an' knew that it must be hard for someone so independent an' strong to have to rely on a woman for help. But I thought, silly girl that I am, that because I loved you so much we could get through it together. Lord how wrong I was." Her eyes were blazing and she moved away from him, her hands tight fists. All the anger Jo had held in for the past few days came tumbling out.
"I trust that you can sit quietly by yourself for an hour or two?" She saw Steve nod, although his face was still full of fury. "Good because that is how long it will take Michael to get sorted out an' get over here. I hope you don't plan to speak to him in quite the same manner as you have me, because he will probably tip your dinner in your lap." With that Jo went back out of Steve's patio door, slamming it shut behind her. Then she stormed up the stairs, and within ten minutes she was packed and sitting back in her car waiting for a break in the traffic.
Martin had watched Larry leave his apartment at nine in the morning, and then he had begun to tidy up the place and get it looking in some sort of shape. He had no idea if his place had been bugged, he thought that his cell phone was ok, but he couldn't feel confident about it, so when he called his contact number he pretended he was calling his mother. He finally got through to Captain Newman, and worried for his career when he had to call him dad.
The Captain was alert to the problems the young detective was facing, and immediately fell in line with what he was saying.
"Martin, son, is that you?"
"Hi, Dad, I wondered if you were free for lunch?"
"Of course. How about our normal place, I haven't had barbeque for a while. It would be nice to have that together again."
"Yep, ok then, I'll see you about one." Martin disconnected his cell phone and sighed. At last he could pass some of his knowledge on, before his brain exploded. He collapsed back into the sofa and his hand rested on the envelope he had been given the night before. Slowly he opened it and his eyes nearly popped out of his head. He took the bundle of money out and began to count. When he got to $6,000 he stopped and got a drink of water. In the end he counted out $7,500. There was a type written note with it, which read A cop's life is always well rewarded. He wasn't sure if he was angry about the note, or terrified by it.
Martin spent the rest of the morning answering his mail, and mowing his grass, and then he got changed into something a little smarter and headed for BBQ Bob's. He hadn't actually spoken to his own father for about fifteen years, so he wasn't really sure how to go about a father son lunch.
The Captain was already sitting at a table near the back of the restaurant when Martin walked in. He looked over at the counter, but he couldn't see anyone that he knew working there. Slowly he walked over to his boss and then he put a smile on his face and moved closer. "Dad, how are you?" He held his hand out and felt the strong grasp of his superior officer.
Captain Newman smiled and sat back down. "Son, what would you like to drink?"
"A double scotch, but I think I'll stick with a beer." Martin watched as Newman indicated to a waiter who came over.
"A beer, a mineral water, a plate of ribs and some fries for two please."
"Certainly, Sir." The waiter moved back over towards the counter and Newman began to speak.
"Ok, Martin, this seemed the safest place to talk, but you had better have a damn good explanation for what has happened so far."
"Yes, Sir, but first of all, I have been given a new assignment and I am dropping off, something…" Martin paused, he realised that he had no idea what he was actually delivering. "I start doing it Monday. I hope that I don't have to do it any longer than that. In fact if you could arrest me Monday night I would be eternally grateful."
"After what you've done, you're lucky I don't arrest you right now. You're going to be eaten alive by IA when you come back."
"Yes, Sir, but if I hadn't shot Cheryl then Larry would have, and he would have killed her."
"Yes, you are probably right. All the same they tend to discourage officers from shooting each other!"
Captain Newman watched the young man in front of him. He seemed to have grown in confidence during the weeks he had been undercover. He needed him to continue with his assignment at least until Monday, if not longer as he was sure there was more information to be gained. "So, do you have any details that you can pass on at the moment?"
"Yes, Sir." He took an envelope out of his pocket. It was addressed to his own mother, and he passed it over. "I am being watched I know that, so I figured this was the best way to go about this."
"Very good. I will give it to your Mother then, Son." The Captain looked at the young detective as he sat there. "Look, Martin, Cheryl and Rae will talk to IA and tell them what happened. You need to concentrate on your assignment, we'll worry about the rest later, but I think it will be alright in the end." After that they ate their food and the conversation lapsed. Once they had finished their ribs they stood, shook hands and headed off in different directions. The Captain was relieved to have made contact with his officer once again, but he was still worried about him. Martin on the other hand was more worried about being spotted with another cop, but he figured he'd had to take the chance, and with any luck the whole thing would be over by Monday.
Steve had been sitting in his apartment feeling more and more embarrassed and ashamed for just over an hour when there was a knock and then he heard the front door being unlocked. He had called the hospital to speak to Jesse and complain, but he couldn't get him. As the time had passed he was relieved that he hadn't been able to reach him. He didn't really want to have to tell him that he had already made Jo walk out. He stood up slowly, his ribs protesting at the movement, and made his way up to the main house. "Michael, is Jo alright?"
"I suggest you ask her yourself. She will be back in contact with you in the morning. She has decided to keep out of your way at least until then." Michael's tone of voice was clearly disgusted.
"Michael, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt her feelings, but this is just so, so damn restricting."
"Yes, Sir, I am sure that I will find out myself over the next day or two, won't I? Now, I will go and get some lunch ready. Is there anything you can suggest, or will you leave it up to me?"
"No, Michael, I guess I am quite literally in your hands." Steve turned away from the English man and walked out to the deck, he rested his plaster-covered hands on the top rail and looked out over the water. He knew that he had been in the wrong, but he had no idea how to make it up to her. Still, he would have a couple of days to work it out.
Jesse and Rae had tidied up the pieces of paper, and then Rae made a cup of coffee for Jesse and a herbal tea for herself. "Jesse, I need to talk you, but then I guess you know that don't you?"
"Yes, I know. I have been trying to work out what is going on in your head, but I gave up."
"Yeah, well nobody will ever work that out." Rae smiled at him and then she leant over and kissed him slowly and passionately on the lips. When they parted she smiled at him again. "Sorry, I just needed some Dutch courage. Jesse I'm wondering whether I made a mistake to ask to stay here." Rae stopped talking. She looked at Jesse and her heart flipped. "I love you, more than anyone I have ever met, but I don't know if I can live here."
"Rae, Honey, why?" Jesse felt as if somebody had let all the air out of him. "What has happened recently to make you suddenly feel this way, it is sudden isn't it? You have only had a permanent visa for a few months, you were so desperate to stay and now you want to leave, leave here, leave me?"
"No, no, I don't want to do any of that, but I feel that I have to."
"Why? Nothing you have said so far gives me any reason to let you go."
"Jesse, I'm scared. You told me I only had to get out of bed for things to happen to me, and you were right. Do you know how many days I spent in hospital on the force in London?"
"No, do you?"
"Oh, yeah, four, and that was when I had just given birth! I shut my eyes and I can see Leticia Howard coming at me with a scarf in her hands, or you attached to a radiator, I can't live with that any more. You were almost killed, just because you knew me, if I leave and go home nothing will happen to you any more."
"No, you can't say that. I could walk out of this apartment block any day of the week and get hit by a car, injured in a drive-by shooting, drowned in the ocean if I fell off my surfboard. Or, as you say, I could live a safe and secure life without you, but if I were without you my life would be empty. I don't want to live an empty life."
"You could come with me, Jesse. We would be safe in London, you could be a doctor there." Rae knew she was clutching at straws but she had to try.
"No, I can't do that. My life has always been here, I can't imagine living anywhere else. You saying you wanted to stay here was one of the best things that has ever happened to me, but I can't offer to do it in reverse, I'm sorry if that sounds selfish."
"I didn't think you would be able to. Jesse, I don't want to go, but I am too scared to stay."
"Why, what is it that scares you?"
"My vulnerability. I feel like I'm twenty feet tall, that every time I leave the house everybody can see me and take a pot shot at me in some way or another. I feel that I'm losing my sanity, each time my mind wanders I feel panic threatening to take over, and I cannot live like that."
"Rae, you are an intelligent, rational woman, why are you unable all of a sudden to behave that way?"
Rae rounded on him then, and her voice rose. "Because I woke up in a hospital bed, having tried to save someone's life, having succeeded in saving someone's life, with a tube in my throat once again. Do you have any idea what it feels like to have your worst nightmare happen to you again and again?" She paused and tried to catch her breath. "I lay in my bed after Donovan attacked me and people that I knew I should know were strangers, words that they said meant nothing to me, and I was at a funeral for God's sake!" As she spoke she could remember the terror she had felt, as she had been unable to communicate, and this time she couldn't catch her breath.
"Rae, Honey, breathe slowly and deeply, we can talk again later, lean into me, it's all right." Jesse placed his arm around her and felt her collapse against him.
"I can't do this any more, Jesse. Help me leave, please."
"Rae, you have me to come home to, you know that, if something happens you can tell me, if, God forbid you get hurt again, I will care for you, you know that."
"No, I don't. You weren't there for me when I woke up after Texas was taken. I can't get the fear out of my mind that I'll wake up again and you won't be there. That I will get hurt one time too many for you and you will be the one to leave. That I'll be here and you'll be gone."
"Rae, look at me." Rae had got up and moved away from him as she spoke. "I made the biggest mistake of my life on the day that I got up and walked away from your hospital room. I won't ever do that again, I promise you that… Rae, please don't leave me."
Rae turned to him then, and saw tears in his eyes. All of the feelings that she had for him came rushing to the surface and she moved quickly back to his side. "Jesse, oh, Honey don't, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."
"Look at me again, Rae, please. Together we are a strong team, we can handle anything, and we have handled anything. Stay with me, and we can be happy. Honey, I will do everything in my power to keep you safe. Just the same as you will do for me."
"I know that, but I am so scared, scared for you, scared for me. What can I do to change that? … There is one thing, but I don't know whether I can do it."
"What, do what?"
"I can leave the force, I can stop being a cop."
"Rae, you know I will support you in every way that I can, whatever you want to do, but I still don't understand what has made you so scared all of a sudden. You said that being a cop was what you were, not what you did, so why would you be prepared to give it all up now, what has changed?"
There was a long silence then as Rae's thoughts rushed together in her mind. She had things to tell him, things that she had no idea how he would react to, and she was scared about that too. Scared that maybe he would hate what she had to say and leave her alone with her hopes and fears, even though he said he wouldn't. She took a deep breath, Rae knew that she had to tell him, and so she turned to him and with tears forming in her eyes she began to speak. "I'm carrying your baby, Jesse." Rae put her hand over her mouth and rushed from the room. Jesse could hear her in her room as she sobbed, and he knew that however much he wanted to for a while at least he wouldn't be able to reach her but he went into the room so she wouldn't be alone.
Steve sat at the table and tried to keep his temper under control as Michael tucked a napkin in to his shirt collar. He had a feeling that the manservant was trying to make a point because in front of him sat a bowl of soup and a plate of croutons. There was a straw by the bowl and a spoon. "Michael I do not need a bib! Contrary to belief I am a grown man!"
"Would Sir like to feed himself, or would you like me to do it for you?" Michael decided that for now he would ignore the ill tempered remarks, this young man needed to eat, and he had a feeling that if he joined in this conversation the meal would be forgotten.
"And how the hell am I supposed to feed myself with soup?" Steve's tone was short and he was horrified as Michael used the same tone in return.
"I imagine you can work that out for yourself… Sir." With that Michael returned to the kitchen and left Steve to his own devices.
He looked at his hands, and then at the soup. Then he began to think and a smile played across his face. He picked up the straw between his teeth and he sucked some of the soup up with it. After he had drunk some of the liquid he moved the straw over to the toast and sucked against one of the little squares. He had to draw harder than he thought, and it made his sore ribs complain, but it didn't bother him too much. He was feeding himself. Once he had it on the bottom of the straw he held his palm under the end and stopped sucking. He then picked up the toast in his teeth and took it into his mouth. Then he sucked up some more soup and slowly finished what he was eating. He felt his confidence rise with each successful mouthful and although his meal was stone cold by the time he had finished it he was extremely impressed with himself and the fact that he had eaten a whole meal without help.
Michael watched round the doorframe of the kitchen and smiled. He knew that Miss Josephine had worked really hard with him, and he had advised her all he could, but he also knew that the Lieutenant needed to do some things on his own. After she had called him the previous night and told him what she had planned with the grapefruit he had begun to think about how he could feed himself other meals. He had to admit he hadn't planned to put the ideas into action quite so quickly, but at least this one had worked.
"Michael, I have finished." Steve felt like a small boy the first time he finished his whole school lunch. "Thank you." He saw the plates being removed and he leant back in his chair, wincing a little at a twinge in his ribs.
"Can I get you anything else, Sir?"
"I don't suppose we have anything that can be stuck on the top of a grapefruit half do we?"
"I imagine so, Sir, if you would be prepared to wait for a little while, so that I can check."
"Do you think you could pass me the paper while I wait?"
"Certainly, would you like it open on the sports pages?"
"Yes, please, Michael, and thank you again."
Steve had been reading contentedly for about ten minutes when he heard a throat clear. As he turned he saw the grapefruit half on a plate. On the skewers were pieces of some sort of cake.
"This is Danish pastry, Sir. I realise that you know that, but it is the only cake that I could think of that would not dissolve into crumbs on a stick."
"Thank you, Michael." Steve leant forward and took one of the squares of cake into his mouth, and then he returned to the article he was reading in the paper. Once he had finished eating he moved the plate to the edge of the table with one of his hands and then he stood by it with one hand, palm up, in line with the surface and used the other one to slowly push the plate onto his hand. He then placed the other hand over the skewers and headed for the kitchen.
"Michael, I'm afraid that I can't actually put this back down, but I thought that it was about time I started to help myself a little."
"Thank you, Sir." Michael turned round and took the plate and its contents out of his grasp and left them on the draining board. "What do you normally do in the afternoon, Sir, only if you aren't too busy I thought maybe a game of chess?"
"Ok, I haven't played for ages. That would be nice. How about we set it up on the deck and enjoy the sunshine?"
By the time Mark got home at seven, Steve had decided never to play chess, checkers, backgammon or any game which needed a small amount of skill with the British manservant ever again. He had been beaten at everything except checkers once, and he still wasn't sure if that hadn't been pity on Michael's part. He was particularly annoyed that he had continued to lose even when Michael had offered him strategic advice, and would have thought sabotage, except that he knew Michael could soundly beat him any time he wanted and had absolutely no need to cheat. Still, he was in the best mood he had been in since his accident and he knew that it was all down to Jo and Michael.
"Michael, can I ask you a question?"
"Certainly, Sir."
"Did you know in advance you were coming to stay with me? Or was it a surprise when Jo arrived home today?"
"I received a phone call yesterday just after lunch, and she said that she would be coming home today for new clothes, she wasn't sure if she would come straight back, or if she would let me have a 'go at you' I believe she said."
"She is a very clever lady." Steve smiled.
"She sure is, Son. She had you worked out from the first time she met you." Mark smiled. He had come into the house about five minutes before, and had been listening to the conversation from the hallway.
"She didn't actually. She thought I was a sleazy detective who came on to all his female suspects… Hey!" Steve belatedly realised what his dad was saying but he was feeling so good now, he had to join in the laugh at his own expense until his ribs ached so bad it hurt to draw breath.
"Son?" Mark inquired with some concern as he gently laid a hand on Steve's shoulder.
Steve waved him off, but not so rudely as had been his habit lately. "I'm ok, Dad," he gasped. Taking a moment to gain control of his breathing, "I just haven't laughed for so long in a while and I didn't realize my ribs were still so sore."
The rest of the evening passed in amiable company. The three men watched the sports on TV and sent out for pizza. Steve even let himself be fed; agreeing with both Michael and his dad that pizza in little squares on a grapefruit wasn't quite the thing with football and beer.
Once the crying had subsided a little Jesse had moved over towards the bed. Rae was lying with her back to him. He touched her on the shoulder and she turned to him, he could see her eyes were red and puffy. "Honey, why didn't you tell me about the baby?"
"Because I was afraid that I had killed it when I dived into the water. But Alex did a test for me and told me that I was still pregnant. Once I knew that everything was still alright I told Alex that I didn't want it mentioned not even in passing again to anyone until I said so."
"And that is why you want to go home, you want to leave me here and bring up our baby thousands of miles away?" Jesse suddenly felt his anger rise.
"No, but I feel that maybe it would be the safest thing to do. Jesse, I don't know if I am coming or going right now. I'm a cop living in a dangerous city and I am carrying your child. Can you imagine what would have happened if I had been pregnant when Levington was stalking me?" She shuddered. "That man felt he owned me." She had no idea what he would do if he knew that she was carrying someone else's child.
Jesse moved over to her and took her into his arms. "Honey, I can't tell you to stay here, but I can ask. If it means you'll stay then I'll beg, I want to be with you forever."
"And you don't mind about the baby?" Rae looked at him with concern in her eyes. They had never discussed having a family and she had no idea if he wanted to be a part of one."
"I want to be part of a proper family more than anything in the world, you, a baby and me; it would be the most wonderful thing that has ever happened to me. Please don't ever doubt that." He gently placed his finger under her chin and moved her head so that she was looking at him. "I love you." He began to run his fingers through her hair and he felt her begin to move her hands on his back. "Mmm, Honey, just how pregnant are you?"
"I'm not sure, that is why I was so worried. Maybe about two months, why?"
"Nothing, I just wondered, before I got too carried away."
"Shhh, it's fine." Rae began to kiss him then, and all the worries of the day slipped away.
Levington had moved into his new accommodations just after two o'clock, and now he was sat in his family room watching the football highlights from the previous weekend. It was a strangely set out house, but it suited his purpose. It had only one visible storey, and the kitchen was at the front, a family room behind that and then the one bedroom and bathroom behind that again. The house looked like it had been knocked over on its side in the last big quake. It had come furnished, and there was a double bed and some tatty looking closets in the bedroom, a brown suite, a TV and a dining table in the lounge and everything he needed except a washing machine in the kitchen. But the thing that had appealed to him was the fact that it had a cellar, it would serve his purposes very well. He had been shopping and added some items of his own and as he drank his beer his spirits soared.
His mother had called him just half an hour ago to let him know that she had done everything that he had asked her, and that as soon as he needed her she would be there, ready and waiting to carry out his orders. By Saturday everything that needed to be organised would be sorted out. Phil looked at the list he had written. Most of the items on it had been crossed out. There were just a few more left. Things that had to be done at the last minute and couldn't be rushed, it was the little details that made something special. He leant back in his chair and grinned, there was no doubt in Phil's mind that this time nothing could go wrong.