These events take place after Nemesis; the look on Chakotay's face made me
think all that anger and hatred. How would he deal with it how would they
deal with it. This is my version.
Disclaimer; The characters belong to Paramount.
She watched him.
Neelix filled her cup with coffee, she nodded and smiled "Thanks Neelix" taking a breathe she started to walk toward him.
He had been there for hours, idly holding his fork, staring at the table, leaving his food untouched. His lack of interest in the food had nothing to do with how it was prepared or even how it tasted, although Neelix was not sure he had tasted any at all. It had become too much for the Talaxian 30 minutes ago he had called the Captain.
If he hadn't seen for himself the Commander's reaction to the Kradin Ambassador he would never of believed it. The look on his face had chilled Neelix to the bone. He shuddered to recall the first officer's reaction.
He had been relieved when the Captain had arrived.
Chakotay was preoccupied with his thoughts, appearing to any watchers not to notice her approach.
She stood in front of him and spoke "Commander" she gestured to the empty chair. Their eyes meet and she changed her voice becoming softer "Chakotay" he knew that in that split second it was Kathryn not that Captain that sat at his table.
They sat in silence each with their own thoughts. Cradling her cup in her hands she sat with him.
Neelix did not see any gesture, or hear any words spoken. However he felt that the Commander had relaxed a little.
Neither the Commander nor the Captain had smiled the smile. The one Neelix had come to expect when they were together, away from direct scrutiny of the crew. He understood the rules of the command structure, he understood Star Fleet regulations. But why showing how much you cared for someone could be so wrong he would never understand. Humans.
He watched them as discreetly as he could
Her eyes had never left his face.
Rising from his chair Chakotay spoke "duty calls" he sounded weary.
She stood reaching her hand to his, not to restrain him but to touch him.
His move to leave had startled her, and then their eyes locked.
For in that second all that mattered was them..
His body moved toward hers.
"Going our way?" Tom spoke appearing at the side of their table with Harry by his side "wouldn't want to be late for duty" he slapped Chakotay on the shoulder. Tom immediately realised he had interrupted something that with his whole being he wished he had not. Cursing himself he tried to retreat but the moment was broken.
"Yes Tom, I am" his voice soft and low.
Chakotay turned from the Captain and walked toward the door. "Captain I'm.." Tom started to speak but her look told him to leave it.
Thomas Eugene Paris knew when to leave it. For that Harry would be forever grateful.
Turning on his heel he followed Harry.
The three rode the lift in silence and stepped onto the bridge. Chakotay turned to his right passing Tuvok who looked up at their arrival. "Commander" he nodded his head the first officer sat in his chair and spoke "Report;" Tom Paris turned to his left and stopped briefly as Harry took his station. At the look on his friend's face Harry raised an eyebrow and went to speak but Tuvok's voice snapped them back "Mr Paris your station"
Thoughts of what had just occurred would have to wait. It seemed that Tuvok was going to have a shift of Vulcan efficiency and for once Harry didn't mind in the slightest. Anything to keep them busy was alright with him.
Kathryn sat back in her chair, taking the cup again in her hands again. It was cold now but she needed to hold on to something.
In all the years she had known Chakotay, she could not known him to withdraw, and she knew he was not quite himself, but he had still performed his duties to the same high standards she had become accustomed to. So she had been willing to ride it out. But today's behaviour had been so out of character it had caused a member of the crew to voice his concerns about her first officer.
Kathryn knew that B'Ellana had being trying to talk to him, but she had been frustrated by her lack of success. That should have rung alarm bells, but NO she had brushed their concerns aside convincing her-self he would be alright. How else could they expect him to react? He had just needed time to sort himself out.
Sighing deeply, she knew the real reason she had not acted.
In the past few months, since the borg and Operation Scorpion they had not managed to get their relationship back on an even keel. If only they were still as they once were, they could have dealt with this together. Together as friends the words made her remember how they had come through the after effects of her encounter with the alien who had tried to convince her she was dead.
She was alright because of him.
After Scorpion she promised herself she would never again be that vulnerable. Command and personal feelings had intermingled then. Mostly she had to admit that was down to her, she had been hurt by the fact he had ignored her orders. When he had only been doing his duty, as he saw it protecting the ship and their crew.
Their disagreement over the borg. She closed her eyes. They had both thought they were right then, but neither of them realised until after how much that argument would unnerve them. Now this, again she damned the Nemesis he had encountered. The fact he had withdrawn, closed down his feelings since coming back had made her realise how much she had come to rely on those feeling and him. More than that, she needed him the man Chakotay. But Captain Kathryn Janeway would not admit that to anyone, not even herself.
Damn him. She was the Captain of a Starship; she shouldn't need anyone.
Of course, even now she was disagreeing with herself. She wasn't sure what to do. Part of her wanted to destroy the invisible barrier between them. No, that wasn't right. It was the barrier that surrounded her and only her. He had never hidden anything from her. From the rest of the crew, yes, he was a very private man. But from her he hid nothing. His heart and feelings open to her. Damn him, perhaps that was the reason she tried to hide everything. Letting her feelings go, would get them nowhere or she smiled everywhere.
Harry look up for almost an hour now they had worked solidly. The Commander had hardly said a word since they had arrived.
Tuvok knew as soon as the three entered the bridge something was amiss. What he did not know. But he had been concerned by the Commander's behaviour since their return, he would speak to the Captain.
She felt Neelix looking to her, she tried to smile to reassure him everything was alright, and the look he gave her told her she had failed even at that.
She left the room she had a lot of thinking to do.
I could write more? Please review.
She watched him.
Neelix filled her cup with coffee, she nodded and smiled "Thanks Neelix" taking a breathe she started to walk toward him.
He had been there for hours, idly holding his fork, staring at the table, leaving his food untouched. His lack of interest in the food had nothing to do with how it was prepared or even how it tasted, although Neelix was not sure he had tasted any at all. It had become too much for the Talaxian 30 minutes ago he had called the Captain.
If he hadn't seen for himself the Commander's reaction to the Kradin Ambassador he would never of believed it. The look on his face had chilled Neelix to the bone. He shuddered to recall the first officer's reaction.
He had been relieved when the Captain had arrived.
Chakotay was preoccupied with his thoughts, appearing to any watchers not to notice her approach.
She stood in front of him and spoke "Commander" she gestured to the empty chair. Their eyes meet and she changed her voice becoming softer "Chakotay" he knew that in that split second it was Kathryn not that Captain that sat at his table.
They sat in silence each with their own thoughts. Cradling her cup in her hands she sat with him.
Neelix did not see any gesture, or hear any words spoken. However he felt that the Commander had relaxed a little.
Neither the Commander nor the Captain had smiled the smile. The one Neelix had come to expect when they were together, away from direct scrutiny of the crew. He understood the rules of the command structure, he understood Star Fleet regulations. But why showing how much you cared for someone could be so wrong he would never understand. Humans.
He watched them as discreetly as he could
Her eyes had never left his face.
Rising from his chair Chakotay spoke "duty calls" he sounded weary.
She stood reaching her hand to his, not to restrain him but to touch him.
His move to leave had startled her, and then their eyes locked.
For in that second all that mattered was them..
His body moved toward hers.
"Going our way?" Tom spoke appearing at the side of their table with Harry by his side "wouldn't want to be late for duty" he slapped Chakotay on the shoulder. Tom immediately realised he had interrupted something that with his whole being he wished he had not. Cursing himself he tried to retreat but the moment was broken.
"Yes Tom, I am" his voice soft and low.
Chakotay turned from the Captain and walked toward the door. "Captain I'm.." Tom started to speak but her look told him to leave it.
Thomas Eugene Paris knew when to leave it. For that Harry would be forever grateful.
Turning on his heel he followed Harry.
The three rode the lift in silence and stepped onto the bridge. Chakotay turned to his right passing Tuvok who looked up at their arrival. "Commander" he nodded his head the first officer sat in his chair and spoke "Report;" Tom Paris turned to his left and stopped briefly as Harry took his station. At the look on his friend's face Harry raised an eyebrow and went to speak but Tuvok's voice snapped them back "Mr Paris your station"
Thoughts of what had just occurred would have to wait. It seemed that Tuvok was going to have a shift of Vulcan efficiency and for once Harry didn't mind in the slightest. Anything to keep them busy was alright with him.
Kathryn sat back in her chair, taking the cup again in her hands again. It was cold now but she needed to hold on to something.
In all the years she had known Chakotay, she could not known him to withdraw, and she knew he was not quite himself, but he had still performed his duties to the same high standards she had become accustomed to. So she had been willing to ride it out. But today's behaviour had been so out of character it had caused a member of the crew to voice his concerns about her first officer.
Kathryn knew that B'Ellana had being trying to talk to him, but she had been frustrated by her lack of success. That should have rung alarm bells, but NO she had brushed their concerns aside convincing her-self he would be alright. How else could they expect him to react? He had just needed time to sort himself out.
Sighing deeply, she knew the real reason she had not acted.
In the past few months, since the borg and Operation Scorpion they had not managed to get their relationship back on an even keel. If only they were still as they once were, they could have dealt with this together. Together as friends the words made her remember how they had come through the after effects of her encounter with the alien who had tried to convince her she was dead.
She was alright because of him.
After Scorpion she promised herself she would never again be that vulnerable. Command and personal feelings had intermingled then. Mostly she had to admit that was down to her, she had been hurt by the fact he had ignored her orders. When he had only been doing his duty, as he saw it protecting the ship and their crew.
Their disagreement over the borg. She closed her eyes. They had both thought they were right then, but neither of them realised until after how much that argument would unnerve them. Now this, again she damned the Nemesis he had encountered. The fact he had withdrawn, closed down his feelings since coming back had made her realise how much she had come to rely on those feeling and him. More than that, she needed him the man Chakotay. But Captain Kathryn Janeway would not admit that to anyone, not even herself.
Damn him. She was the Captain of a Starship; she shouldn't need anyone.
Of course, even now she was disagreeing with herself. She wasn't sure what to do. Part of her wanted to destroy the invisible barrier between them. No, that wasn't right. It was the barrier that surrounded her and only her. He had never hidden anything from her. From the rest of the crew, yes, he was a very private man. But from her he hid nothing. His heart and feelings open to her. Damn him, perhaps that was the reason she tried to hide everything. Letting her feelings go, would get them nowhere or she smiled everywhere.
Harry look up for almost an hour now they had worked solidly. The Commander had hardly said a word since they had arrived.
Tuvok knew as soon as the three entered the bridge something was amiss. What he did not know. But he had been concerned by the Commander's behaviour since their return, he would speak to the Captain.
She felt Neelix looking to her, she tried to smile to reassure him everything was alright, and the look he gave her told her she had failed even at that.
She left the room she had a lot of thinking to do.
I could write more? Please review.