Notes: *giggles* *laughs* Somehow, I knew something would happen from me cutting the chapter there...Well, here you go^^

Pairings: Ran x Ken

Warnings: AU, Ran POV, yaoi, small lime, angst

Disclaimer: If they were mine, would I be writing a disclaimer?

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In Your Mind

5

I rocked Ken back and forth as I held him in my arms, tickling his neck with my tongue, tasting his smooth skin. He hadn't answered me. He hadn't moved. I wanted to see his smile. I wanted to drink in his chocolate gaze.

"I love you..." I whispered in his ear. He stiffened in my arms and drew away. I was surprised at his actions. Didn't he love me too?

"No Ran." His words were quiet, so quiet but I felt as though he had struck me.

"No?" I was staring at him as he stood, turned away from me. I wanted him to turn around, I just wanted to look at him and see his beauty.

"I...I can't love you." I bit back a cry of sadness. Nothing seemed to matter anymore. I had placed him as the centerpiece of my life and he wanted nothing to do with it.

"But we..." I could only sputter words, meaningless filth. There was so much more that I could do to express my feelings and yet I wouldn't be able to get near Ken. He was answering incoherent phrases. I stood up, picking up my tossed garments as I did, pulling them on quickly. Anger was blooming beneath all the pain of rejection and I glared at him from his door.

"Don't play games with me, Ken." He turned to look at me but I was already gone.

~

It had been a full two days since my predawn encounter with Ken. I couldn't look at him. It hurt to think about him. I wanted to know what was in his mind. I wanted to know what he thought when he glanced at me. I wanted to know. Why couldn't he love me? We had done so much together. It was all out of love but he couldn't love me?

I punched the ground in anger, pushing away my sadness. I didn't even want to see my weakness. No one could see what I was feeling. They wouldn't understand, they didn't need to. It was none of their business.

"Ran." I started, rejoicing at the voice, anticipating the beautiful gaze I was about to behold but then my feelings slammed back in and I stiffened as I sat on the ground. I didn't look at him. I didn't say anything but he didn't leave. I didn't want to talk to him. I just wanted to hold him in my arms and know that he loved me just as much as I loved him.

"Ran?"

"What?" My voice was harsh, its tone sharp but I didn't care. Silence.

"I'm leaving." This surprised me. I didn't even hear him walking away as I stared at the horizon in open shock.

"What?" I whispered, turning to look for Ken but he was gone. I jumped up and ran back to the house, hoping to catch him before he shut himself up again.

"Ken!" I yelled, running through the front door. After a moment I saw him slink out of his room and to the top of the stairs, keeping his eyes down. I regarded him from the ground floor, ignoring the pain looking upon him caused. "Ken...why?"

He didn't answer me for a moment and his eyes remained at my feet. "Because, because I'm tired. I'm tired of all this." He gesticulated in a wave that encompassed his surroundings.

I didn't understand. "You're tired of everyone? Or just me?" My last words were quiet. I wasn't sure I wanted to hear the answer.

"No Ran. It's not you."

"Then why?"

Why can't you love me?

"Because I can't...I can't understand anything. I need to be alone and not have to worry about being judged. I have to figure some stuff out."

"You're damn right you need to figure some stuff out." I was getting angry now that he was just shoving this on me with no warning. How dare he walk away.

"What the hell is up with you Ran?" His eyes flashed as his voice raised in anger. I was tired of just wondering why he could never answer me. I was tired of just hoping that he'd be able to love me in return after being completely ignored for the past few days.

"You! You can't even fucking answer one stupid little question. Why Ken? Why can't you answer me?"

He looked surprised and my anger faded away. His expression dissolved into one of guilt. "I...I just can't! I don't have to answer to you every fucking second! To hell with this place and to hell with you Ran!"

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