A/N: Yo Minna! How've ya been? That's great/terrible! Well, I've decided to try out something new. A character-bashing fic! Yup, this is my first fic completely dedicated to bashing on a DBZ character. And which character would that be? Yamucha, of course! To all those Yamucha fans out there, sorry. But don't let that stop you from reading the fic! Hope y'all enjoy it, I do. Now go on and read! And review too! Arigato!
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One bright, sunshiny afternoon our dear friend Yamucha was walking down the block, scoping out girls, since he's the biggest pervert in West City. Anyway, he had just spotted one helluva knockout, and was about to try his pathetic attempt at flirting, when all of a sudden, he bumped into someone. He immediately tried to start a fight. Hm... he never WAS the brightest crayon in the box, now was he?
"Hey DUDE, watch where you're going!" Yamucha said in that annoying voice of his, to the Big Guy in front of him. The other man growled, and picked Yamucha up by the collar of his shirt. Yamucha being the cocky bastard that he is, thought nothing of it, and proceeded to smirk at the man.
This is the part where the Big Guy punches Yamucha straight in the jaw. Ouch.
Yamucha went flying into the nearest wall, and since he's such a weakling that even an untrained human such as Big Guy could hit him, he was knocked out. Passersby gave a glance and kept on walking. No need to pay attention to a lowlife. A lowlife who wasn't even a GOOD baseball player.
Three hours later, Yamucha finally woke up to see that it was dark out, and that he was forty-five minutes late for his date with Bulma. Instead of heading straight to her house, he ran home. He threw on some decent clothes, or what HE thought were decent clothes, and, ignoring Puar, who was trying her very best to kill him with a spatula, ran out of the house and drove over to Capsule Corp. conveniently forgetting that he knew how to fly. Dumbass.
Anywho, he arrived at Capsule Corp. half an hour later, and ran up to the door. Being the rude person that he is, Yamucha just opened the door and strolled right in, as if he still lived there. Passing by Mrs. Briefs, who wouldn't even look at the ugly S.O.B., he walked straight up to Bulma's room and barged right in.
"Sorry I'm late BABE, I was busy." He said.
Bulma, the biggest ho in history, who was right in the middle of a make-out session with one of her servants(Vegeta's MINE! ^_^), shrieked and shot straight up.
"Bulma! You've been cheating on me?!" Yamucha cried. No really, he cried. As in tears. Sheesh, what a baby.
"Well, I knew you were gonna be late again, but I didn't expect you so soon! You weren't supposed to see this!" The air-head said.
"I'm sure! And who's this guy, huh? How long have you been cheating on me with him?!"
"Him? Oh, only a few days."
"Grr, well not anymore!"
Yamucha finally stopped acting like a baby, and instead decided to act like an unbelievably fake macho-man. He rolled up his sleeves, and marched over to the Servant Dude, ignoring the cries of 'Touch him and it's SO over between us!' in the background. Raising his fist, and about to strike, he said, "Alright buddy, here's for stealing my girl!"
And this would be the part where the Servant Dude punches Yamucha straight in the nose. Double ouch.
The idiot went flying into the wall for the second time that day, and since he's such a weakling that a servant-maid could knock him out, he was knocked out. Bulma looked at the unconscious loser lying in the middle of her floor, walked over to the Servant Dude, and they began to make-out again.
Three hours later, again, Yamucha finally woke up to find he was still in Bulma's room, and the others were long gone. Overlooking the fact that she'd left him unconscious on the floor, because he was too stupid to realize it, he took off to find Bulma and try to make up. Also overlooking the fact that SHE had been the one to cheat on HIM, he fully intended to apologize for whatever he'd done that had made her mad.
He found her in the kitchen, along with her mother, and Vegeta(^-^), who was eating. He walked over to Bulma but before he got there, Vegeta stuck out his foot and tripped the loser. Yamucha fell, and Vegeta, Bulma, and her mother all had a good laugh. The idiot picked himself off, but then tripped again, but by himself this time. This got another good laugh out of the three. He once again tried walking without falling over himself, and finally stood next to Bulma. He then attempted to sweet-talk his way back into her life.
"Yo BABY, I'm sorry 'bout what happened before. Wanna french and make-up?" He said, sticking out his tongue. Bulma, who was repulsed by this, grabbed the burning hot frying pan that sat on the stove and whacked him a good one. The weakling was knocked out for the third time. Vegeta did the honors, and picked up Yamucha by the collar, dragged him out the door, and threw him as far as he could.
Three days later, our village idiot woke up in the middle of a bullpen in Spain, and was later gored in the ass by a bull. When he got out of the hospital two weeks later, no one had visited him, or had even noticed that he'd been gone, he returned to Japan, all the while waddling to keep his cheeks from rubbing together. He flew back to Capsule Corp. to find that Bulma had slept with almost every Servant Guy in the building, and that Mrs. Briefs had taken the liberty of selling his watch, which had been left behind. Upon returning home, he also found that Puar was just about ready to have his house knocked down, which would soon be replaced by a condo where she and her friend, Dr. Briefs' cat, Kat, would be roommates.
Yamucha ran away in tears and took up a life of living on the streets and letting people beat on him for cash, which he stupidly use on baseball lessons, rather then finding a place to live. In any case, the lessons did nothing to help him. He then got frustrated and brightly decided to take skydiving lessons instead. He was never heard from again. And there was much rejoicing.
END
***
Soo? How'd you like? Hope ya did. And did you like the little bit of Bulma-bashing I threw in there? ^-^ Hope so! Since this was my first attempt at this sort of thing, I hope it wasn't too bad. Actually, I originally wrote this as a submission in a fanfic contest, and since I'm the only person submitting to the character-bashing section, my odds at winning that one are very good! ^-^ So far anyway. Wish me luck y'all! If you people like, I might even have a sequel! Bashing someone else of course. ^.^ But I need suggestions! Leave a review! Tell me what you thought! I've got to be off, but I'll be back!
Sayonara Minna-San!
T-Sama~
***
One bright, sunshiny afternoon our dear friend Yamucha was walking down the block, scoping out girls, since he's the biggest pervert in West City. Anyway, he had just spotted one helluva knockout, and was about to try his pathetic attempt at flirting, when all of a sudden, he bumped into someone. He immediately tried to start a fight. Hm... he never WAS the brightest crayon in the box, now was he?
"Hey DUDE, watch where you're going!" Yamucha said in that annoying voice of his, to the Big Guy in front of him. The other man growled, and picked Yamucha up by the collar of his shirt. Yamucha being the cocky bastard that he is, thought nothing of it, and proceeded to smirk at the man.
This is the part where the Big Guy punches Yamucha straight in the jaw. Ouch.
Yamucha went flying into the nearest wall, and since he's such a weakling that even an untrained human such as Big Guy could hit him, he was knocked out. Passersby gave a glance and kept on walking. No need to pay attention to a lowlife. A lowlife who wasn't even a GOOD baseball player.
Three hours later, Yamucha finally woke up to see that it was dark out, and that he was forty-five minutes late for his date with Bulma. Instead of heading straight to her house, he ran home. He threw on some decent clothes, or what HE thought were decent clothes, and, ignoring Puar, who was trying her very best to kill him with a spatula, ran out of the house and drove over to Capsule Corp. conveniently forgetting that he knew how to fly. Dumbass.
Anywho, he arrived at Capsule Corp. half an hour later, and ran up to the door. Being the rude person that he is, Yamucha just opened the door and strolled right in, as if he still lived there. Passing by Mrs. Briefs, who wouldn't even look at the ugly S.O.B., he walked straight up to Bulma's room and barged right in.
"Sorry I'm late BABE, I was busy." He said.
Bulma, the biggest ho in history, who was right in the middle of a make-out session with one of her servants(Vegeta's MINE! ^_^), shrieked and shot straight up.
"Bulma! You've been cheating on me?!" Yamucha cried. No really, he cried. As in tears. Sheesh, what a baby.
"Well, I knew you were gonna be late again, but I didn't expect you so soon! You weren't supposed to see this!" The air-head said.
"I'm sure! And who's this guy, huh? How long have you been cheating on me with him?!"
"Him? Oh, only a few days."
"Grr, well not anymore!"
Yamucha finally stopped acting like a baby, and instead decided to act like an unbelievably fake macho-man. He rolled up his sleeves, and marched over to the Servant Dude, ignoring the cries of 'Touch him and it's SO over between us!' in the background. Raising his fist, and about to strike, he said, "Alright buddy, here's for stealing my girl!"
And this would be the part where the Servant Dude punches Yamucha straight in the nose. Double ouch.
The idiot went flying into the wall for the second time that day, and since he's such a weakling that a servant-maid could knock him out, he was knocked out. Bulma looked at the unconscious loser lying in the middle of her floor, walked over to the Servant Dude, and they began to make-out again.
Three hours later, again, Yamucha finally woke up to find he was still in Bulma's room, and the others were long gone. Overlooking the fact that she'd left him unconscious on the floor, because he was too stupid to realize it, he took off to find Bulma and try to make up. Also overlooking the fact that SHE had been the one to cheat on HIM, he fully intended to apologize for whatever he'd done that had made her mad.
He found her in the kitchen, along with her mother, and Vegeta(^-^), who was eating. He walked over to Bulma but before he got there, Vegeta stuck out his foot and tripped the loser. Yamucha fell, and Vegeta, Bulma, and her mother all had a good laugh. The idiot picked himself off, but then tripped again, but by himself this time. This got another good laugh out of the three. He once again tried walking without falling over himself, and finally stood next to Bulma. He then attempted to sweet-talk his way back into her life.
"Yo BABY, I'm sorry 'bout what happened before. Wanna french and make-up?" He said, sticking out his tongue. Bulma, who was repulsed by this, grabbed the burning hot frying pan that sat on the stove and whacked him a good one. The weakling was knocked out for the third time. Vegeta did the honors, and picked up Yamucha by the collar, dragged him out the door, and threw him as far as he could.
Three days later, our village idiot woke up in the middle of a bullpen in Spain, and was later gored in the ass by a bull. When he got out of the hospital two weeks later, no one had visited him, or had even noticed that he'd been gone, he returned to Japan, all the while waddling to keep his cheeks from rubbing together. He flew back to Capsule Corp. to find that Bulma had slept with almost every Servant Guy in the building, and that Mrs. Briefs had taken the liberty of selling his watch, which had been left behind. Upon returning home, he also found that Puar was just about ready to have his house knocked down, which would soon be replaced by a condo where she and her friend, Dr. Briefs' cat, Kat, would be roommates.
Yamucha ran away in tears and took up a life of living on the streets and letting people beat on him for cash, which he stupidly use on baseball lessons, rather then finding a place to live. In any case, the lessons did nothing to help him. He then got frustrated and brightly decided to take skydiving lessons instead. He was never heard from again. And there was much rejoicing.
END
***
Soo? How'd you like? Hope ya did. And did you like the little bit of Bulma-bashing I threw in there? ^-^ Hope so! Since this was my first attempt at this sort of thing, I hope it wasn't too bad. Actually, I originally wrote this as a submission in a fanfic contest, and since I'm the only person submitting to the character-bashing section, my odds at winning that one are very good! ^-^ So far anyway. Wish me luck y'all! If you people like, I might even have a sequel! Bashing someone else of course. ^.^ But I need suggestions! Leave a review! Tell me what you thought! I've got to be off, but I'll be back!
Sayonara Minna-San!
T-Sama~