Started and Finished: October 23, 2002

Last Episode Seen Before Writing: Nocturne

Pairing: Pete, Lex, Clark, friendship

Rating: G

Category: Humor

Spoilers: Minor Crush, Heat, and Nocturne

Summary: Lex, Pete, and Clark talk about Smallville's female population. Post-episodic for Nocturne. Sequel to Girl Talk.

Disclaimer: I only own them in my own little world. They know me there!

Guy Talk

Author's Note: Thanks to Phil and LaCasta for the amazing betas. I couldn't live without either of you! You two are the best!

"What was that?" Clark asked, walking over to Lex and Pete.

"I think we just got the brush-off," Pete said, staring at the door.

"That was…odd," Lex added, noticing that Pete was standing next to him.

"Now do you understand why I was reading 'Men Are From Mars?'" Clark asked Lex.

"I don't think that will help, Clark," Pete said with a laugh. "Besides, we're talking about women. There aren't any known instruction manuals."

"I'd say you have it the worst, Clark," Lex pointed out. "Whereas I was blown off by Miss Lang, and Pete by Miss Sullivan, you were blown off by both."

"Chloe did not blow me off," Pete huffed.

"Yes, she did. I'd say Chloe is the more confusing of the two," Lex said.

"You obviously haven't gotten to know Lana yet," Clark said, plopping down on a stool.

"Lex is right," Pete agreed. "One minute Chloe's head over heels, the next she isn't. Back and forth, and back and forth. She needs to make up her mind."

"It's not entirely her fault," Lex said, looking pointedly at Clark.

Clark's eyes got wide. "Hey, I didn't do anything to her!"

"Exactly," Pete said.

"Chloe had her chance, Pete. She decided to stay friends. If it's anyone's fault it's her own," Clark said.

"That was rude, Clark, and you know it," Lex said, giving Clark a disapproving look. "I'm sure she was just confused. Obviously she's over that, and I say good for her."

"Yeah, good for her," Pete piped up.

"Okay, moving on," Clark said in aggravation. "What was the Lana thing all about?"

"With you?" Lex asked, hiding a smile. "Well, you-"

Clark cut him off abruptly. "No!" he said loudly, blushing when people turned to look. "With you, Lex. Why would she blow you off?"

"Obviously my recitation of poetry was too much for her," Lex said, as if it were obvious.

Pete burst into laughter. "Yeah, that's it."

Clark laughed. "Sure, Lex. Wait. You recited poetry to her?"

It was Lex's turn to chuckle. "You only hear what you want to hear, don't you?"

Clark shrugged. "It's worked so far."

Pete clapped Clark on his shoulder. "Whatever works, man."

"I think Lana's more complicated than Chloe. At least Chloe speaks her mind," Clark said.

"Yeah, about everything but what's most important," Pete said. "When it comes to what really matters she says what makes her feel safest."

"Lana does speak her mind," Lex argued. "We all learned that when I tried to shut down the Talon."

"That's true. She ranted on that for hours on end," Pete added.

"So, in other words, either way they both need instruction manuals?" Clark asked.

"That's what I think," Pete said with a smile.

"I doubt that will happen, so what do we do until then?" Lex asked.

"Look beyond the Torch and Talon?" Pete suggested.

"Sounds good to me," Clark agreed.

Lex nodded once. "Think outside the box, or boxes, as it may be."

"Exactly," Pete agreed, standing up.

Lex, Pete, and Clark started to walk toward the door.

"But what about La-" Clark started.

"No," Pete and Lex said firmly, cutting him off.

"And Chl-"

"No," they repeated.

Clark shrugged once, then followed his friends out the door.