****
Note: I'm dedicating this to all the people who've reviewed this fic at Fanfiction.net ... that's:
firegoddess1014, co copelli, knight_Maria, otownroxx, crazy-dreams, Lana, blondee, ev , likethat, EyEzonly, Jedi Prophetess, Bull, ScoobyGal55, tanub and Nicole!
If I missed your name and you reviewed it, chances are it's because you reviewed it after I wrote this! But that doesn't mean that your review isn't important to me, it really is!
Keep up the reviews, guys :) Thanks a lot for the support
****
FOUR : NO MORE OF THAT KUNG-FOOLERY
Lorelai ducked down behind one of the benches after hearing her mother call out to her. She bent low, hoping that maybe her mother would think she was mistaken and then leave. However, luck was not on her side that night, as the dark shadow of Emily Gilmore fell upon Lorelai's crouching form.
"Lorelai Gilmore," Emily's voice was as sharp as ever, "Don't think I didn't see you just now. Get up. You're making a scene."
"Oh, hello, mother," said Lorelai, getting up and dusting her jeans. "I didn't hear you."
"Yes, and I assume you are just hiding behind the bench because it's the chic thing to do. Really, you would think that once you hit a certain age you would grow out of all these childish antics."
"Yeah, I'm still waiting till I turn eighty," Lorelai brushed off her mother's comments.
"What are you doing here, Lorelai?" Richard asked.
"Are you here to watch a movie?" Emily added.
"Actually, no. A group of Bulgarian refugees have claimed sanctuary in the movie theater and I'm part of a secret elite force dedicated to flushing them out."
"Would it be so difficult for you to answer a question like a normal person?" Emily rebutted sharply.
"No, it wouldn't," answered Lorelai. "Look how simply I answered your question. It was so simple, if I removed any more words I would be speaking in fragments, like that poor transfer kid in Rory's old school who kept missing his English classes because his time table was in English and he didn't know what "room" meant. So there. Completely normal."
"That's what you think."
"You know, now that we're on that topic, why are you here?"
"Your mother and I thought it would be amusing if we went down to the theater and caught a film. It's been ages since we've done anything like that," said Richard.
"Yes, he's had a lot of free time recently," added Emily, smiling. "And also, there's this new film that some of the younger people at the club have been absolutely raving about, and I thought it would be interesting if we actually see what all the fuss is about."
"And what would that be?"
"It's some kind of foreign film, I believe," said Emily, trying to remember. "Richard, what was the name of the movie again?"
"I don't remember, but it has that amusing little Chinese man in it."
"Jackie Chan?" asked Lorelai in disbelief.
"Yes, that's it. Jackie Chan." Richard nodded in agreement.
"The both of you are here to see Jackie Chan?" Lorelai sounded stunned, partly because she was. "Oh, looks like I won't die before hearing that statement, after all. What are the two of you even thinking , watching a Jackie Chan movie? A movie that has no depth, no meaning … just lots of kung-foolery…"
"Lorelai, there's no such word as kung-foolery. Stop making up words," said Emily.
"I know, I just wanted to hear you say it," Lorelai shot back, "Ha."
"Well, there must be some obvious reason that you are so adamant about us not watching this Jackie Chan film," replied Emily.
"It's not a film, mother. A film is something that has people moping around contemplating the meaning of life, and boring the hell out of the rest of us, like 'Magnolia' or 'Freddy Got Fingered'. Jackie Chan has a movie. It has kung-foolery, and lots of whoopah."
"I'm not going to say that word, so don't get your hopes up."
"Darn."
"I'm assuming you're here to watch the same … movie, then?"
"Yes, mother," sighed Lorelai. "Which brings us to the burning question, aren't there any cinemas in Hartford?"
"Oh, there are," Richard said, "Emily and I just thought we'd take a little trip down here for a change. Get a different view."
"Is Rory here? I don't see her," said Emily, looking around for her grand-daughter.
"No, Rory's at home," said Lorelai, "She has some school work to catch up on and she's working on the next issue of the newspaper. She's a very busy girl. I was thinking of hiring her a secretary, but very few people wanted to work for a girl who proofreads her essays six times, and the people that did show up for the interview displayed many suspicious qualities, like eagerness to work and punctuality."
"So, you're here all alone?"
"You ask a very interesting question, mother," said Lorelai, eager to avoid answering said question. "I find its structure to be very intriguing. Tell me, where *did* you learn the rules of grammar?"
"You're not answering my question."
"We'll get to that in time," said Lorelai. "And since we're on that topic, why do you think a question mark is shaped like it is? I think it looks like a little cane."
"Stop avoiding my question, Lorelai."
"Who invited the question mark? Is its cane shape a biblical reference? The mysteries of the English Language will continue to fascinate me till the day I die."
Emily was about to say something, when Luke came up behind her, holding a large bag of popcorn. Not noticing Emily and Richard, he walked past them and handed it over to Lorelai. "Here's your stupid popcorn. I feel my arteries clogging from just touching the bag."
"Luke…" Lorelai tried to tell him.
"It's disgusting, it's unhealthy and I don't know why you insist on eating it. They might as well just perform your bypass right now," Luke continued, "And don't get me started on the lines. You would think those morons would be smart enough to open more counters, if they knew that hundreds of idiots would be lining up for their little bags of heart attacks."
"Luke, guess what?" Lorelai decided to speak fast before he continued his tirade. "My parents are here! Whee!"
"What? Oh," Luke turned around and looked at Emily and Richard. "Hi… there."
"Yes, we were just talking to Lorelai," Emily said, her face having an expression that Lorelai knew spelt danger. "about what a coincidence it is that we should bump into her here. And it must be a very strange night for Lorelai … imagine meeting us and you at the same time."
"Luke and I came together, mom," said Lorelai.
"Oh, then not so strange after all," Emily said, rolling her eyes.
"Mom," Lorelai started.
"Well, we'll leave you two alone, then," said Emily, holding on to Richard's arm, nudging him to. She turned to Luke. "It was very nice to see you, Luke. Again. Lorelai, I'll see you on Friday." Richard nodded at the two of them and then followed Emily into the theater.
"Gosh," said Lorelai. "I feel like a witch in Salem, only without the pleasant release of a fiery death at stake."
"What was that about?" asked Luke innocently.
"Ugh, who knows what's turning in the twisted mind that is Emily Gilmore's," said Lorelai, despite knowing full well what her mother was hinting about. "It's like one of those Peruvian death mazes, where one false step leads you plummeting twenty feet into a bed of spikes."
"I've never heard of Peruvian death mazes in my entire life."
"Well right now, they look like a pleasant alternative." Lorelai dug into her popcorn, and talking between bites.
"You really don't seem to enjoy talking to your mom."
"She's so negative all the time, I think that's where I get my jaded outlook and razor sharp cynicism," Lorelai stopped to look at a movie poster on the wall. "Ooh, this movie has puppies in it!"
"Yeah, I'm putting that one on my must-see list," said Luke dryly.
Lorelai held out her bag of popcorn to Luke. "You want some?"
"Thank you, but I love my heart and arteries."
"Try some, it really doesn't even have that much butter in it," said Lorelai. "It's almost butter-less, so it's gotta be healthy. It could disguise itself as broccoli."
"Must be one disgusting looking piece of broccoli."
"So it'll fit right in with the rest of the broccoli. You know, you're missing out on a lot if you don't want to have anything to do with things that are bad for you," said Lorelai, "I take it you're not into kinky bondage sex either, then."
"Lorelai!"
"What?" Lorelai asked, eating more popcorn. "Sometimes it feels good to be bad. Mm."
"I'm not having this conversation with you," said Luke, walking forward.
Lorelai chased after him, carrying on her conversation anyway. "Are you sure? I'm sure Miss Patty could hook you up with a nice young thing who could tie you up and spank your naughty behind."
"Stop saying things like that in public."
"I bet you want to be a bad boy, you want to be disciplined, you want to be punished, don't you."
"Lorelai, people are looking at us."
"You like that? You like people watching? Oh yeah, you like that, don't you? You naughty boy!"
"Leave me alone."
"Don't make bring out the paddle, Lukey."
"Stop it."
"Grrr, make me stop, you bad boy, you!" Lorelai made some whipping noises, aided by her left hand making whipping movements.
"That's not funny, and you're that old woman in the corner looks like she's going to smack us."
"Oh, so she knows what you're into."
"Quit it."
"Go over there, Luke , let grandma teach you some manners, yeah."
"You're disgusting."
"That's the whole point."
"Can we please just go into the theater? I don't like the way people are looking at us."
"Geez," said Lorelai. "Coward. You care way too much about what people think. All right, let's go."
-- to be continued --
Note: I'm dedicating this to all the people who've reviewed this fic at Fanfiction.net ... that's:
firegoddess1014, co copelli, knight_Maria, otownroxx, crazy-dreams, Lana, blondee, ev , likethat, EyEzonly, Jedi Prophetess, Bull, ScoobyGal55, tanub and Nicole!
If I missed your name and you reviewed it, chances are it's because you reviewed it after I wrote this! But that doesn't mean that your review isn't important to me, it really is!
Keep up the reviews, guys :) Thanks a lot for the support
****
FOUR : NO MORE OF THAT KUNG-FOOLERY
Lorelai ducked down behind one of the benches after hearing her mother call out to her. She bent low, hoping that maybe her mother would think she was mistaken and then leave. However, luck was not on her side that night, as the dark shadow of Emily Gilmore fell upon Lorelai's crouching form.
"Lorelai Gilmore," Emily's voice was as sharp as ever, "Don't think I didn't see you just now. Get up. You're making a scene."
"Oh, hello, mother," said Lorelai, getting up and dusting her jeans. "I didn't hear you."
"Yes, and I assume you are just hiding behind the bench because it's the chic thing to do. Really, you would think that once you hit a certain age you would grow out of all these childish antics."
"Yeah, I'm still waiting till I turn eighty," Lorelai brushed off her mother's comments.
"What are you doing here, Lorelai?" Richard asked.
"Are you here to watch a movie?" Emily added.
"Actually, no. A group of Bulgarian refugees have claimed sanctuary in the movie theater and I'm part of a secret elite force dedicated to flushing them out."
"Would it be so difficult for you to answer a question like a normal person?" Emily rebutted sharply.
"No, it wouldn't," answered Lorelai. "Look how simply I answered your question. It was so simple, if I removed any more words I would be speaking in fragments, like that poor transfer kid in Rory's old school who kept missing his English classes because his time table was in English and he didn't know what "room" meant. So there. Completely normal."
"That's what you think."
"You know, now that we're on that topic, why are you here?"
"Your mother and I thought it would be amusing if we went down to the theater and caught a film. It's been ages since we've done anything like that," said Richard.
"Yes, he's had a lot of free time recently," added Emily, smiling. "And also, there's this new film that some of the younger people at the club have been absolutely raving about, and I thought it would be interesting if we actually see what all the fuss is about."
"And what would that be?"
"It's some kind of foreign film, I believe," said Emily, trying to remember. "Richard, what was the name of the movie again?"
"I don't remember, but it has that amusing little Chinese man in it."
"Jackie Chan?" asked Lorelai in disbelief.
"Yes, that's it. Jackie Chan." Richard nodded in agreement.
"The both of you are here to see Jackie Chan?" Lorelai sounded stunned, partly because she was. "Oh, looks like I won't die before hearing that statement, after all. What are the two of you even thinking , watching a Jackie Chan movie? A movie that has no depth, no meaning … just lots of kung-foolery…"
"Lorelai, there's no such word as kung-foolery. Stop making up words," said Emily.
"I know, I just wanted to hear you say it," Lorelai shot back, "Ha."
"Well, there must be some obvious reason that you are so adamant about us not watching this Jackie Chan film," replied Emily.
"It's not a film, mother. A film is something that has people moping around contemplating the meaning of life, and boring the hell out of the rest of us, like 'Magnolia' or 'Freddy Got Fingered'. Jackie Chan has a movie. It has kung-foolery, and lots of whoopah."
"I'm not going to say that word, so don't get your hopes up."
"Darn."
"I'm assuming you're here to watch the same … movie, then?"
"Yes, mother," sighed Lorelai. "Which brings us to the burning question, aren't there any cinemas in Hartford?"
"Oh, there are," Richard said, "Emily and I just thought we'd take a little trip down here for a change. Get a different view."
"Is Rory here? I don't see her," said Emily, looking around for her grand-daughter.
"No, Rory's at home," said Lorelai, "She has some school work to catch up on and she's working on the next issue of the newspaper. She's a very busy girl. I was thinking of hiring her a secretary, but very few people wanted to work for a girl who proofreads her essays six times, and the people that did show up for the interview displayed many suspicious qualities, like eagerness to work and punctuality."
"So, you're here all alone?"
"You ask a very interesting question, mother," said Lorelai, eager to avoid answering said question. "I find its structure to be very intriguing. Tell me, where *did* you learn the rules of grammar?"
"You're not answering my question."
"We'll get to that in time," said Lorelai. "And since we're on that topic, why do you think a question mark is shaped like it is? I think it looks like a little cane."
"Stop avoiding my question, Lorelai."
"Who invited the question mark? Is its cane shape a biblical reference? The mysteries of the English Language will continue to fascinate me till the day I die."
Emily was about to say something, when Luke came up behind her, holding a large bag of popcorn. Not noticing Emily and Richard, he walked past them and handed it over to Lorelai. "Here's your stupid popcorn. I feel my arteries clogging from just touching the bag."
"Luke…" Lorelai tried to tell him.
"It's disgusting, it's unhealthy and I don't know why you insist on eating it. They might as well just perform your bypass right now," Luke continued, "And don't get me started on the lines. You would think those morons would be smart enough to open more counters, if they knew that hundreds of idiots would be lining up for their little bags of heart attacks."
"Luke, guess what?" Lorelai decided to speak fast before he continued his tirade. "My parents are here! Whee!"
"What? Oh," Luke turned around and looked at Emily and Richard. "Hi… there."
"Yes, we were just talking to Lorelai," Emily said, her face having an expression that Lorelai knew spelt danger. "about what a coincidence it is that we should bump into her here. And it must be a very strange night for Lorelai … imagine meeting us and you at the same time."
"Luke and I came together, mom," said Lorelai.
"Oh, then not so strange after all," Emily said, rolling her eyes.
"Mom," Lorelai started.
"Well, we'll leave you two alone, then," said Emily, holding on to Richard's arm, nudging him to. She turned to Luke. "It was very nice to see you, Luke. Again. Lorelai, I'll see you on Friday." Richard nodded at the two of them and then followed Emily into the theater.
"Gosh," said Lorelai. "I feel like a witch in Salem, only without the pleasant release of a fiery death at stake."
"What was that about?" asked Luke innocently.
"Ugh, who knows what's turning in the twisted mind that is Emily Gilmore's," said Lorelai, despite knowing full well what her mother was hinting about. "It's like one of those Peruvian death mazes, where one false step leads you plummeting twenty feet into a bed of spikes."
"I've never heard of Peruvian death mazes in my entire life."
"Well right now, they look like a pleasant alternative." Lorelai dug into her popcorn, and talking between bites.
"You really don't seem to enjoy talking to your mom."
"She's so negative all the time, I think that's where I get my jaded outlook and razor sharp cynicism," Lorelai stopped to look at a movie poster on the wall. "Ooh, this movie has puppies in it!"
"Yeah, I'm putting that one on my must-see list," said Luke dryly.
Lorelai held out her bag of popcorn to Luke. "You want some?"
"Thank you, but I love my heart and arteries."
"Try some, it really doesn't even have that much butter in it," said Lorelai. "It's almost butter-less, so it's gotta be healthy. It could disguise itself as broccoli."
"Must be one disgusting looking piece of broccoli."
"So it'll fit right in with the rest of the broccoli. You know, you're missing out on a lot if you don't want to have anything to do with things that are bad for you," said Lorelai, "I take it you're not into kinky bondage sex either, then."
"Lorelai!"
"What?" Lorelai asked, eating more popcorn. "Sometimes it feels good to be bad. Mm."
"I'm not having this conversation with you," said Luke, walking forward.
Lorelai chased after him, carrying on her conversation anyway. "Are you sure? I'm sure Miss Patty could hook you up with a nice young thing who could tie you up and spank your naughty behind."
"Stop saying things like that in public."
"I bet you want to be a bad boy, you want to be disciplined, you want to be punished, don't you."
"Lorelai, people are looking at us."
"You like that? You like people watching? Oh yeah, you like that, don't you? You naughty boy!"
"Leave me alone."
"Don't make bring out the paddle, Lukey."
"Stop it."
"Grrr, make me stop, you bad boy, you!" Lorelai made some whipping noises, aided by her left hand making whipping movements.
"That's not funny, and you're that old woman in the corner looks like she's going to smack us."
"Oh, so she knows what you're into."
"Quit it."
"Go over there, Luke , let grandma teach you some manners, yeah."
"You're disgusting."
"That's the whole point."
"Can we please just go into the theater? I don't like the way people are looking at us."
"Geez," said Lorelai. "Coward. You care way too much about what people think. All right, let's go."
-- to be continued --