Part Five
Previously on Buffy:
(At LothL'oreal the scoobyship meet the mysterious elf sorceress, but are disappointed to find it's Cordelia. She reveals to Buffy her destiny but Buffy is too mesmerised by her hideous hairstyle to listen. They float down the river, where Anya is seasick, Willow gets all evilwitchy, and Dawn whines. Back on land, Spike proposes to Buffy who hits him where it hurts because she thinks he is after the Ring. Faith and her minions show up and surround the scoobies.)
(In a clearing are Buffy, Angel, Faith, and a group of about fifty vampires.)
FAITH: Hey B.
BUFFY: You!
FAITH: Glad you're so happy to see me. I expected antagonism.
BUFFY: No angtanomism here, just plain old hatred.
FAITH: Sorry, forgot to speak in words shorter than three syllables. So how are things with you going? Five by five?
BUFFY: Besides you sending your henchmen to kill me? Just great.
FAITH: I knew you'd like it. Gives you a rush, doesn't it?
(She glances down at Buffy's bra.)
FAITH: Is it just me, or are your slaying outfits just getting skimpier and skimpier?
ANGEL: No, just the plot.
BUFFY: Why all the vamps? Don't think you can handle me all on my own?
FAITH: I just want a crowd. Maybe they'll learn some real fighting when I kick your bony little ass. I've given them orders not to attack you under any circumstances.
BUFFY: You're all heart.
FAITH: They've got the all-clear to attack Angel though.
ANGEL: Oh crap.
(As the vamps rush Angel, Faith and Buffy circle each other, stakes in hand.)
BUFFY: Now we'll see who the ultimate Slayer is.
FAITH: When I'm standing over your body.
BUFFY: You mean my dead body?
FAITH: Yeah whatever. Point is you're going down.
BUFFY: No you're going down.
FAITH: We can take turns if you want.
BUFFY: I hate you so much.
FAITH: I hate you more. You're always the number one, great Slayer. The one I should've been.
BUFFY: And you slept with my boyfriend.
FAITH: Speaking of that, how great is it that Riley hasn't appeared in this fanfic.
BUFFY: Thank God, I was worried he'd be like an elf or something.
(Naturally Riley jumps out of the forest.)
RILEY: Buffy, I've arrived to help you.
(But as he runs towards her, a tree falls down for no reason on him. He drags himself from under it.)
RILEY: I'm OK Buffy, I'm coming.
(Five vampires attack him, but somehow he manages to defeat them and goes on limping towards Buffy.)
RILEY: The thought of you makes me strong. I'll make it.
(After surviving a whole lot more vampires, a deranged bunny rabbit, some freak lightning strikes, a pack of hungry wolves, and an insurance salesman, he arrives bloodied and bruised at Buffy's feet.)
RILEY: I'm here Buffy.
(Happily, Buffy accidentally stakes him in the stomach. She then accidentally stakes him in several more places. Afterwards she accidentally beats him over the head with a nearby boulder. Finally she accidentally kicks him in the river where he is devoured by some familiar Elvish piranhas.)
BUFFY: That's the obligatory Riley bashing taken care of, back to business.
(Buffy and Faith leap at each other, and a perfectly choreographed fight takes place. There are many fancy moves and some really difficult stunts, so maybe Jackie Chan and Jet Li can do this scene, in wigs.)
BUFFY: Tired yet?
FAITH: No way, I'm just getting warmed up.
(More spectacular fighting.)
FAITH: *Pant* Ready to give up yet?
BUFFY: Nu huh, *pant* I can go on kicking your ass all night.
(Several hours of progressively slower and less exciting fighting later.)
BUFFY: *Pant, pant, wheeze* You're *pant* history.
FAITH: *Pant, gasp* You're the one who's…*pant, pant, pant*
(They swing weakly at each other. Angel takes a break from slaying vampires and watches them.)
FAITH: I'm going to *pant* show you the meaning of *pant* pain. Then I'll *pant, wheeze* mercilessly kill all your friends.
BUFFY: You're evil *pant, gasp* you know that?
ANGEL: No she's not.
FAITH: Keep *pant* out of this *pant* you wooden *pant* freak. I'm damn well *pant* evil.
ANGEL: No you're not. You're just someone who substitutes the lack of love and affection in her life with killing. Everybody does it in one way or another, whether it's food, or sex, or alcohol, or shopping. Your's just happens to be killing. Then you put on this whole "I'm so evil" persona to mask the fact that you're really a scared, lonely girl.
FAITH: That's not *pant* true, I'm absolutely *pant* evil.
ANGEL: It's difficult to admit the truth, but you know I'm right. Buffy, what she needs is love, not more hate and fighting. Her hatred is really a front for her love. She really loves what she claims to hate.
BUFFY: *Pant* Normally I would call that *pant* psychic crap…
ANGEL: Psychological crap.
BUFFY: But *pant* I can see Faith won't be able to *pant* last any longer so I'll show some mercy.
FAITH: What she *pant* said.
ANGEL: Let's all have a group hug.
(The three of them embrace each other tightly. Their panting mysteriously disappears.)
BUFFY: Angel, a group hug is not an excuse to cop a feel.
ANGEL: I'm not.
FAITH: B, I think this is the beginning of a long and beautiful friendship.
(But since, despite Angel's psychoanalytical bull, Faith is actually evil, she knocks Angel unconscious and pins Buffy to the ground.)
BUFFY: Faith, how could you?
FAITH: Very easily. You're so damn trusting, it's sickening. Now I'm going to take my stake and…is that a new fragrance you're wearing?
BUFFY: It's called Eau D'sangue, glad you noticed.
FAITH: You smell good. Really good.
(Faith's face is only inches away from Buffy's. She raises the stake.)
FAITH: Ready for it?
(She is poised to strike. Cut to the rest of the slayerettes. The vampires are running at them one by one. The scoobyship are doing surprisingly well and actually slaying a few. Very few.)
ANYA: Oh shit, now we're really screwed. They're bringing on the bunnies!
XANDER: I can take on those bunnies any day. I won't let some dumb rabbits…OOOOWWW, one's got my leg!! Get it off, get it off!
DAWN: Why did you people let me come on this dangerous mission anyway?! I'm just a kid.
ANYA: Yeah, you're always telling us how we don't treat you as a grown-up, but when the going gets tough it's with the whole whiny "I'm just a kid" thing. Well welcome to the adult world!
WILLOW: We're outnumbered! We'll never make it!
(They are all about to become vampfood when Spike jumps out of the shadows and tackles fourteen vampires at once.)
TARA: S-Spike!
XANDER: We're saved!
(Spike manages to dust a whole lotta vamps. Everybody is spurred on by his entrance and fight harder than before.)
DAWN: Spike! We are so glad to see you. We would've been toast if you hadn't shown up.
SPIKE: You know you can always count on William the bloody Bloody. Where's Buffy?
XANDER: She and Angel aren't back yet. But you're here so we've got a fighting chance.
SPIKE: Yeh whatever, cheers mate.
(Spike runs off back into the forest leaving the scoobyship with the many, many remaining vampires. The scoobies whimper. Cut to Faith who is about to stake Buffy.)
FAITH: Ready to die Buffy?
BUFFY: Didn't you just ask that in the last scene?
FAITH: No, I said something slightly different. Now, time for some major heartburn.
BUFFY: That's my line, don't steal my wisecracks.
FAITH: Ready to get up close and personal with Grim?
BUFFY: The guys who do fairytales?
FAITH: No, the Grim Reaper. You know, hood and scythe. Chess game.
BUFFY: Oh. I get it except for the chess part.
FAITH: Headline news, Slayer slain by Slayer. There's alliteration for you.
BUFFY: Look, are you stalling? Why don't you just kill me already?
FAITH: Uh…OK, you asked for it.
(Faith raises her stake even though it's been raised for the past five minutes. Buffy closes her eyes. There is the whoosh and a thud as the stake slams down.)
BUFFY: Weird, no pain. Maybe I'm dead already.
(She opens her eyes to find herself still pinned down by Faith. She turns her eyes sideways to see the stake embedded in the ground by her ear.)
BUFFY: Either you really need contacts or…
FAITH: I don't want to kill you B. Not really.
BUFFY: You could've fooled me with all the trying to kill me talk.
FAITH: I guess I was trying to convince everybody and myself that I did want you dead. But I've got to deal with it. The truth. I've been trying to convince myself otherwise, all those meaningless sexual encounters with men I felt nothing for.
BUFFY: What the hell are you trying to say? Spit it out?
FAITH: Wow, it's so hard to say this, but B, I lo…
(At that moment Spike dives out of the shadows and tackles Faith.)
BUFFY: Spike!! You saved me!
SPIKE: I soddin' well wasn't going to let this little tart kill you. I bleedin' love you too much.
BUFFY: Oh Spikey, you worthless piece of garbage, I love you too.
(They engage in a particularly smoochy kiss.)
FAITH: I wasn't going to kill her you stupid Billy Idol wannabe.
SPIKE: What a load of bollocks that is. You're only getting near her over my bloody dead body.
FAITH: OK.
(She produces a crossbow from her knickers and shoots at Spike. He looks down at the arrow protruding from his chest, and runs towards Faith. She fires again hitting him in the shoulder. He doesn't fall but continues towards her. Another few arrows, and finally her falls to his knees.)
SPIKE: Soddin' hell! Run Buffy, take the bleedin' Ring. The scoobyship's done for, go to the Hellmouth alone.
BUFFY: But Spike, I can't leave you!
SPIKE: Yes you soddin' well can! The fate of the world's in your bloody hands as usual. Save it you twit!
(Buffy heeds his advice and runs back to the boats just as Spike falls flat on his face. Faith puts away the crossbow and prepares to give chase when a hand grabs her ankle. It is Angel, who has regained consciousness.)
ANGEL: You're not going anywhere.
(Another super cool battle, with Angel's vampire strength being pitted against Faith's Slayer strength. But despite the fact that a Slayer should be able to beat a vampire any day, Angel forces Faith to the ground. His sword point is at the tip of faith's throat.)
ANGEL: This is for Giles, and Bill the pony, and Spike, and the endangered Black Rhinoceros, and Darla, and the Napoleonic Wars, and Cordelia, and Microsoft.
FAITH: What are you talking about? I'm only responsible for Spike and indirectly Giles! Not any of the other stuff, and Cordelia is still freaking alive!
ANGEL: Somebody's got to pay for all that stuff.
FAITH: You can't kill me! I'm supposed to be in the sequel! I don't die yet!
ANGEL: Hmm, you're right. It's too early. But I'm supposed to kill something heroically right about now.
FAITH: I'll be right back with someone.
(She disappears into the trees for a few minutes and returns with a vampire.)
FAITH: Angel, this is Phil. He's agreed to be the leader of the vamps.
ANGEL: Hey man.
PHIL: Hey. I always wanted to be a leader, all that power. It's so cool. I'll have like underlings.
ANGEL: Glad you got your wish. So should start the mortal combat now?
PHIL: Mortal combat? Faith didn't say anything about fighting you. She just mentioned the underlings.
ANGEL: Afraid it's also battles to the death with powerful adversaries.
PHIL: No way, I'm not that much of a fighter. Faith, I don't want to be the leader anymore. Faith?
(Faith is nowhere to be seen. Phil swallows as he looks at Angel. They fight for all of two seconds before Angel dusts Phil. The climactic battle done with, we cut to the rest of the scoobyship who miraculously are still alive.)
XANDER: We can't hold out much longer. Unless something really unexpected happens now.
WILLOW: Yeah, some sort of Deus Ex Machina.
DAWN: Willow, no magic remember?
WILLOW: Not everything Latin is magic
ANYA: Right, some of it's just a pretentious way to show how smart you are.
XANDER: Seriously hoping for something unexpected.
(Nothing new happens.)
XANDER: At the last moment, someone shows up and saves us.
(Nothing.)
XANDER: Someone saving us in the nick of time would be really good right about now.
(Nada.)
XANDER: Oh shit, we're stuffed.
(Buffy appears in the nick of time. The scoobies cheer. The vampires scream.)
DAWN: It's Buffy, we're saved!
WILLOW: Buffy, we're so glad to see you. Without you we had no chance…
BUFFY: Can't talk now. I've got to run away with the Ring. Bye.
(Buffy runs to the river.)
TARA: Uh oh.
XANDER: Screw this, I'm not staying here to get slaughtered. Buffy, wait up!
(Xander runs after her.)
ANYA: Xander you coward, you're supposed to stay by my side and defend me! Men! Curse them all! Not literally of course, cause I can't, but curse them! Wait for me Xander, wait!
(Anya glances at his retreating figure and runs after him, doing what any smart, sane person would do. It should therefore be noted that the other three stay behind.)
WILLOW: If we stay here we face certain death. We might stand a chance if I could only use my ma…
TARA: No.
WILLOW: What about poor Dawn?
DAWN: Yeah, what about poor me? Not looking forward to the whole blood transfusion thing here.
WILLOW: Isn't Dawn worth using a bit of magic?
TARA: Um…
DAWN: Hey!
WILLOW: One of us should escape with Dawn while the other stalls the vamps with magic.
TARA: G-good idea.
WILLOW: So since I can't use magic, you'll have to stay here and hold back the enemy.
TARA: H-hold on here a m-minute…
WILLOW: Bye Tara, good luck! Give the vampires hell.
(Willow and Dawn run into the trees. Tara is left alone facing a couple of hundred hungry vamps. They advance confidently, vamp faces on.)
TARA: "No, don't use magic under any circumstances". Me and my b-big mouth.
(At just the right moment, Angel leaps out of the forest like a well, guardian angel.)
ANGEL: I'm here in my gorgeous brooding self.
TARA: Big whoopee.
ANGEL: Don't I even get a "We're saved"?
TARA: My expectations are too low f-for that.
ANGEL: Well I'm here to save everybody…you anyway, from doom.
(He looks at the number of vamps. Starts counting on his fingers. Puts on what is probably his worried face.)
ANGEL: Ah. That's a lot of vamps.
TARA: Is that the Angel equivalent of saying we're in big, big t-trouble.
ANGEL: Ah.
(Just in the nick of time (one of many nicks of time anyway) a figure comes running out the forest. It is…another vampire!)
NEW VAMP: Guys, horrible news!
VAMP 1: What?! Has our leader Faith been defeated?
NEW VAMP: Worse, Phil is dust!
VAMP 2: Not Phil?
VAMP 3: Please tell me it's a lie, a terrible lie! Don't let Phil really be gone.
NEW VAMP: I wish that were so, but it's not. I saw him get dusted, I could barely hold back my emotions.
VAMP 4: Oh God, noooo! Not Phil, not poor, sweet Phil.
VAMP 2: Why?! Anyone but Phil! I would rather die instead of Phil.
VAMP 5: It's so hard to believe. I mean, just half an hour ago, I was talking to him, laughing with him. He was so…so…
VAMP 1: Undead.
NEW VAMP: Now he's just plain dead.
VAMP 6: Poor Phil. Did you collect his remains?
NEW VAMP: Yeah, I remember how he always used to say he wanted to be sprinkled over the ocean.
VAMP 4: He was a lifeguard as a human you see.
VAMP 3: Phil…Phil…waaaaahhhhhhh!!!
(Maybe it's the vampires' intense emotions or maybe it's their own intense stupidity, but Angel and Tara stay put. Tara even hands one of the vamps a tissue.)
TARA: Here. I'm s-sorry for your loss.
VAMP 3: Thanks. It's just so hard to deal with it.
ANGEL: Loss of a loved one can be very hard at first. I sympathise, I really do.
NEW VAMP: Bullshit!! You killed him you bastard, you killed Phil…
VAMP 7: You mean this is Phil's killer?! This, this…thing?!
(A hundred tear-stained faces are glaring at Angel with hate. Angel backs off a little. It looks like it's about to get ugly when Tara casts a spell that actually doesn't suck. An illusion of Phil appears.)
VAMP 5: It's Phil!!! We were wrong, Phil's not gone!
(As the vampires surround Phil, Angel and Tara take the opportunity to sneak away. As they move away they hear a piercing scream.)
VAMP: PHHHHIIIILLLLLL!!!!!! Since when has he been see-through?!!
(Anyway, the scoobyship run around a lot trying to escape. The vamps, drawn by the incredible gleam of Dawn's hair, capture her and Willow. Anya in her 1000 years experience of not running, stumbles into a ditch where she is found later by Angel and Tara. As for Buffy, she reaches the boats. As she rows away from the bank, she hears a familiar voice cry out.)
XANDER: Buffy, wait up! I'm coming with you.
BUFFY: No way Xander, you know how dangerous this all is? It's a suicide mission, there's zero odds on me making it out alive, and I'm the Slayer. What chance will you stand?
XANDER: You're that concerned for my safety?
BUFFY: That, plus I got hardly any food for the trip.
XANDER: True, but you hardly eat any food.
BUFFY: Good point, but no.
XANDER: I'm not leaving you. I promised Giles I'd protect you, and that's what I'm going to do.
(Xander has gotten in the water and is trying to swim to the boat. He is sinking.)
XANDER: Buff…a little help here.
BUFFY: Can't you swim?
XANDER: Cramps…didn't wait thirty minutes after eating…glub glub glub…
(Buffy rows to Xander and pulls him easily into the boat. He coughs and splutters.)
XANDER: No chance of some CPR, I guess?
BUFFY: Oh no. I'm not pissing off a vengeance demon, ex or not.
XANDER: Thanks for rescuing me Buff. Now we're a team, ready to face whatever the big bad throws at us. As long as we're together. Is there a fishing pole in this boat?
BUFFY: I wish Dawn was here beside me instead of Xander. Having my sister around to protect seems more right somehow.
XANDER: Looks like you're stuck with me.
(Somebody somewhere, possibly a vengeance demon or fairy godmother or something, hears this wish, and with a poofity poof, her wish is granted. Scene changes. Sitting in the boat with Buffy is Dawn.)
DAWN: Huh? What am I doing here? A second ago I was in a cage, captured by vampires.
BUFFY: I think I made a wish which broke the laws of time, space and logic to bring you here. I wanted you near me, to be able to keep an eye on you.
DAWN: Oh no.
BUFFY: Isn't being here with me a lot better than staying in the hands of those cruel and evil vampires?
(Dawn doesn't answer.)
BUFFY: We've got to be at the Hellmouth before the world ends, so let's get rowing.
DAWN: Rowing? But I'm just a kid. Anyway, you're the Slayer. You've got slayer strength.
BUFFY: You're right, I guess I can't ask a kid to row. You sit back and try not to get in trouble.
DAWN: Cool.
(As Buffy rows, Dawn puts on some shades, sunblock, and lies back.)
BUFFY: Wow, who knew rowing could be so tiring.
DAWN: Uh huh, could you try not to move the boat so much? My tan'll be uneven.
BUFFY: I'll try.
DAWN: And could you not make such a big splash with the oars? I'm trying to catch some zee's.
BUFFY: Sure, I'll do what I can. I'm sure glad you're here with me. My kid sister and me, together, on our whole save-the-world thing.
DAWN: Could you not talk? At all?
BUFFY: Anything for my beloved sister.
(Scene shifts to a group of vampires, carrying a cage. In it are a bound Xander and Willow.)
XANDER: So anyway, then there was this poof, and here I was. Buffy and the boat were gone, and you, the cage and the vamps were there instead.
WILLOW: Weird. I didn't even cast that spell. I probably could if I only had some ingredients…Xander, do you have any newt's feet?
XANDER: Must've left them in my other pants.
WILLOW: So here we are.
XANDER: Yup.
WILLOW: You think the vampires are going to suck us dry, like prunes?
XANDER: Probably. But the bright side is we may be facing mortal danger, but at least we're facing it together.
WILLOW: Together…I wish Tara was here to hold my hand. That'd be really comforting.
XANDER: Sorry Will, but it looks like you're stuck with…
(Scene changes. Sitting in the cage with Willow is Tara.)
WILLOW: Tara! I'm so glad to see you.
TARA: Same h-here. You didn't cats any s-spells did you?
WILLOW: Definitely not. You know I'm going cold turkey with the whole magic thing.
TARA: Good. I'm p-proud of you sweetie. How are we going to g-get out of here?
WILLOW: I know this one spell, it's totally perfect.
TARA: No magic.
WILLOW: So again, you'd rather be stuck in a cage in the clutches of cruel and sadistic vamps than have me use magic?
TARA: I think you k-know the answer to that one.
WILLOW: You know I love you honey, but you're an idiot.
TARA: I choose to ignore that. It's obviously the withdrawal s-symptoms talking.
(Scene shifts to the riverbank, where Angel, Anya, and Xander stand over a boat. Lying the boat, looking very peaceful, with his arms across his chest, is Spike.)
ANGEL: Xander? Where'd you come from? Where's the other one, the stuttering girl?
ANYA: Who cares about her? She's of no consequence now that Xander's here!
XANDER: Glad to see someone appreciates me around here.
(They have a major make out session while Angel looks on uncomfortably.)
ANGEL: Could you do that later? When I'm not around?
XANDER: Are you uncomfortable?
ANGEL: Couldn't you tell?
(Xander and Anya shrug. They turn to the boat where Spike lies.)
ANGEL: Should we have a small ceremony for Spike?
XANDER: Should we?
ANYA: Could you all stop answering questions with questions?
XANDER: Are we doing that?
ANYA: Haven't you noticed?
XANDER: How long have we been doing it?
ANGEL: Shut up.
XANDER: Thanks. I guess we just needed to break the rhythm.
ANGEL: So Spike, dead, ceremony or not?
XANDER: Hell no. I say we just dump his body in the water, laughing. He was evil.
ANGEL: Good, that's settled.
ANYA: I can't believe you two. You're not going to give Spike a funeral because he was evil? That's so…so…moralist! Are you planning on dumping me down a ditch when I die cause I was a Vengeance Demon?
XANDER: You're different.
ANYA: Loopholes and excuses! You people are all to willing to slay and kill demons and vampires. But monsters are people too. Angel, weren't you one of the meanest vampires around for four centuries? And you Xander, didn't you feed on your school principal as a hyena? Are you really all that different to that blonde vampire lying there?
XANDER: Yeah, we're not British.
ANYA: Spike may have been a killer and traitor, but he was one of the scoobyship. He saved us many times, and was always willing to do battle for us. He sacrificed his life for us! Plus, he had great abs.
XANDER: An!
ANYA: Not that I don't find your beefy love-handles incredibly sexy. But the point I'm trying to make is that Spike deserves a proper sending-off as much as Giles did.
ANGEL: This must be a first, but you're making sense. Spike died to save Buffy.
XANDER: I'm kinda moved. Anya speaking passionately about something other than money.
ANYA: There's more to me than a fanatical love of money and sex.
ANGEL: There's also the whole rabbit-phobia.
ANYA: Don't mention those hellspawn. You're ruining my deep and reflective mood.
ANGEL: Sorry. Let's do this.
(They lower their heads I respect.)
ANGEL: Today we are here to bid farewell to William the Bloody. Dear friend…maybe not. A good man…no, that's not right. He…sometimes helped out the good guys.
(Spike's eyes open.)
ANGEL: Death has taken him. Well, death sort of took him a long time ago, but second death.
SPIKE: Yeh, except I'm not soddin' dead, you wanker.
ANGEL: Poor Spike. One moment ali…undead, the next completely dead.
SPIKE: Nope, still undead, right here.
ANGEL: He will be missed. Not by me…
XANDER: Or me.
ANGEL: …But by other people.
SPIKE: Bleedin' hell, I was poked by a few bloody crossbow bolts. Not even through the heart. I'm a VAMPIRE.
ANGEL: Time passes and all that stuff, so here we are. Ashes to ashes, dust to dust.
SPIKE: Not soddin' dust! That's the entire soddin' point.
ANGEL: Goodbye Spike. Wherever you're going, hope it's not too bad a hell dimension.
SPIKE: Are you all bleedin' deaf?! Cause you'll be the one going to a bloody hell dimension if you don't stop this bollocks.
(Angel pushes the boat away from shore. It catches the current.)
SPIKE: What are you bloody well all doing?! Have you gone soddin' mad?!
(The boat drifts faster and faster, right to the edge of a gigantic waterfall.)
SPIKE: You'll all bloody pay for this!! When I get out of this bleedin' boat, I'll make sure you all suffer slow, painful, excruciating deaths! You'rre soddin' dead, the lot of you! Deeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaa…
(The boat goes over the falls. Xander, Angel, and Anya raise their heads.)
ANGEL: OK, that's settled. On to more important things.
XANDER: Ooh, is it time to eat already?
ANGEL: We have to rescue our friends. Then we'll go to Gondork to help the Gondorkians against the vampire army.
ANYA: The odds are already against those Gondorkians. Do they really need us there to further screw up their chances?
(Much further down the river, a small boat is making its way towards the unknown. It is dusk, as Buffy and Dawn move along the silvery waters.)
DAWN: What a gorgeous sunset.
BUFFY: Damn straight.
DAWN: Wait, we're going off into the sunset? Does that mean this story's finally finished?
BUFFY: Yep. It's over and done, finito.
DAWN: YES!! Finally, it just went on for ever! There's only so many dumb jokes and insults a girl can take.
BUFFY: Pity we don't have some champagne to break out. Non-alcoholic for you of course.
DAWN: It's so totally cool. You're not kidding? It's really over?
BUFFY: This part of the story is.
DAWN: This part?
BUFFY: This is just the first part of the trilogy.
DAWN: Trilogy? As in three?
BUFFY: Right. Two more parts to go. We're going to have to have a whole lot more adventures before it's really over. But it'll be great, just the two of us…
(There is a splash as Dawn dives into the water and swims away.)
BUFFY: Dawnie? Where are you going? Get back in the boat this second. I'm not kidding. DAWN!!
(Closing credits.)
Hope you enjoyed it. Like I said, it's my first, so I'd appreciate it mightily if you R&R now. Well, you've R'ed already, so maybe just the second R.