A/N: THANKS SO MUCH FOR THE REVIEWS GUYS. IF IT WASN'T FOR ANY OF YOU I
WOULDN'T HAVE CONTINUED THIS FIC. ANYWAY, SORRY FOR THE DELAY. I KNOW YOU
GUYS LIKE IT WHEN I UPDATE FAST. SO REVIEW REAL FAST TOO OK. LOL.
ANYWAY, HERE'S CHAPTER NINE. HOPE YOU LIKE IT. KIND OF LONG. TELL ME
WHAT YOU THINK. ENJOY.
"Do you hate me because I look like him?" Alec asked startling Max.
"I thought you were sleeping." She said quietly, looking up at him.
"Well do you?" Alec continued, rather determined that he get the answer.
"No." Max answered. "No, I don't hate you because you look like Ben."
"Okay." Alec said not really sure of what to say. He wondered whether he was supposed to thank her or not.
The thought had been bothering him for awhile but he never had the courage to confront Max about it.
"It's not your fault that you look like him." She said softly. "I never held it against you. It's just sometimes, when I look at you, I see him. And then I remember that I lost him. That I killed him." She explained sadly.
She was on the verge of tears again but max fought to keep it inside her.
Like Alec said, no more crying.
Alec didn't know what to say. God, it made him feel terrible to know that whenever Max looked at him, it brought her pain and guilt.
"I'm sorry." He managed to say.
"No don't be." Max said.
"But then again I don't see Ben. I see you." She continued. "I know that you two look exactly the same but not really at the same time. It's strange. I can't explain it." She said sighing a little, sounding somewhat frustrated. "I mean you're different. Ben told me stories, held my hand when we were little, watched over me when we were out training. You're Alec. You bug the hell out of me, you argue with me and you make me laugh. You protect me even when I don't want to be protected. Ben was my brother. You're not." She added.
Alec smiled a little. At least Max knew the difference between them.
"I'm sorry you know, if I make it hard on you." She added softly. "Sometimes, I can't help it."
Alec looked at her. He felt sorry for her. Hell. It must have been tough living with the fact that she killed her own brother and then having to see his face everyday.
"I knew you know." Alec whispered breaking the silence that was making them slightly uncomfortable.
"Knew what?" Max asked curiously.
"When he died, I felt it." Alec said sadly. "I never saw him but I knew he was there. When he was gone it hurt me too." He sighed heavily.
Max felt terrible for Alec. Losing Ben had been terrible.
Not knowing him would have been worse.
"I'm sorry." She whispered.
It made her feel awful.
She had robbed Alec of his brother.
She had taken his chance of ever meeting Ben and knowing him.
"No more sorries Max." He said holding her hand tightly. "We have enough to be guilty about."
"Ok." She said.
"Oh shit!" Alec said patting his pant leg, looking for something.
"What?" Max asked worriedly. He was acting strange.
"These aren't my pants." He said sounding rather annoyed and worried.
"Yeah, the hospital took yours when you were brought in here and gave you scrubs instead." She said matter of factly.
She wanted to laugh but by the way Alec was acting, she was getting worried.
"God dammit. Max where the hell are my pants?" He said frantically looking around.
"Alec, calm down. They're somewhere. What the hell is so damn important with those pants?" She asked.
He was beginning to really worry her.
He practically pushed her off the bed just trying to get up and look for his pants.
"Just find them!" He hissed. The antigen was in his damn pockets.
That was the reason he was shot and lying in this uncomfortable bed, in this creepy hospital that reminded him too much of Manticore.
He wasn't about to lose the antigen now.
He had gone through so much just to get that freaking thing for Max.
"Ok, ok, jeez." Max said giving up. She straightened herself and stood up to look for the pants.
What the hell just happened?
It was going so well.
They were bonding, talking about their problems, figuring things out.
Then he had to remember his damn pants.
"I'll be back." She said tensely to Alec as she walked out of his room to ask someone about his freaking pants.
"Urgh!" She said when she was far enough.
What the hell was going on?
"Hey boo, how's Alec? Are you okay?" OC said when Max met her in the hallway.
"I'm fine. Alec's fine." Max said distractedly.
"Well, you sure don't sound it." OC insisted. Max was looking pissed and worried at the same time.
Max was supposed to be happy now that Alec was all better, considering the way she acted when he wasn't.
"Alec wants to find his pants." Max said lamely.
"What the hell is so precious about his pants?" OC asked curiously.
"I don't know, OC but Alec is adamant on finding them." Max sighed sharply, running her fingers through her hair.
"You don't look okay." OC declared.
"I'm not okay, OC. Alec and I were getting good. We...we.urgh!" Max said rather annoyed. "Forget it." Max sighed.
"It'll be fine." OC said calmly, rubbing Max arms. "Just find his pants. I'm betting everything will be back to normal." OC said with a chuckle.
Max nodded and groaned as she walked away to look for Alec's pants.
"Here." She said giving Alec's pants over to him. Max had spent half an hour looking for them, bugging the hospital staff and practically going to the dumpster to get them.
She wanted to throw it at him.
She was pissed off and she didn't know why.
"Thanks." Alec said as he searched through his pockets.
Max shrugged her shoulders as she slumped down on the seat lazily.
"Anything for your damn pants." She thought bitterly. Max knew that she should be glad that Alec was alive.
And she was.
She was so damn happy that she could barely keep her hands off of him.
But he was acting so strange now. He didn't even seem to care about her.
"Stupid, stupid pants!" Max thought.
God. Why the hell was she getting so upset over his pants?
It was ridiculous. But she couldn't help it.
She cared about him. She loved him.
"I'm going to go outside and talk to Logan and OC." She said abruptly standing up.
"Max?" Alec said softly.
"Yeah?" She said, sounding harsher than she expected.
"I want you to have this." He said handing over to her a small vile with a blue serum.
Alec looked so miserable as he gave it to her.
Max's hand started to tremble as she took it from him.
She was fighting so damn hard not to cry.
"What's this?" She asked, her voice breaking, betraying her in the process.
"For you and Logan." He said.
"You got it." She whispered, holding the vile tightly.
"Yeah. I got it." Alec replied. "You didn't think I was getting shot at and beaten for nothing right?" He said with a soft chuckle.
Alec kept smiling, despite the hurt that he was feeling inside.
"This is for you, Maxie. All for you. Now you got to choose." He thought. He wanted to say it to her but like her, he was scared.
He didn't really know if she loved him back.
Max was acting like she cared.
But Alec didn't know whether it was because she cared about him as Alec or because today was Ben's death anniversary and she didn't want to lose her brother all over again through him.
"I'll still love you if you choose him." Alec didn't know if he had thought it or said it but by the way Max was looking at him, the tears falling down her face, he suspected that he had blurted it out.
He didn't care. At least now she knows.
Alec didn't know if she was unhappy or relieved or thankful. She was just crying.
"Go." He said firmly. The words tearing at his heart.
"If you walk out that door, I lose you." He thought.
Max nodded, as if understanding him.
She brushed the fresh tears away from her eyes and looked at Alec.
She walked out the door without a single word.
"Good bye, Max." Alec whispered as the tears slowly welled up in his tears, betraying him.
"Do you hate me because I look like him?" Alec asked startling Max.
"I thought you were sleeping." She said quietly, looking up at him.
"Well do you?" Alec continued, rather determined that he get the answer.
"No." Max answered. "No, I don't hate you because you look like Ben."
"Okay." Alec said not really sure of what to say. He wondered whether he was supposed to thank her or not.
The thought had been bothering him for awhile but he never had the courage to confront Max about it.
"It's not your fault that you look like him." She said softly. "I never held it against you. It's just sometimes, when I look at you, I see him. And then I remember that I lost him. That I killed him." She explained sadly.
She was on the verge of tears again but max fought to keep it inside her.
Like Alec said, no more crying.
Alec didn't know what to say. God, it made him feel terrible to know that whenever Max looked at him, it brought her pain and guilt.
"I'm sorry." He managed to say.
"No don't be." Max said.
"But then again I don't see Ben. I see you." She continued. "I know that you two look exactly the same but not really at the same time. It's strange. I can't explain it." She said sighing a little, sounding somewhat frustrated. "I mean you're different. Ben told me stories, held my hand when we were little, watched over me when we were out training. You're Alec. You bug the hell out of me, you argue with me and you make me laugh. You protect me even when I don't want to be protected. Ben was my brother. You're not." She added.
Alec smiled a little. At least Max knew the difference between them.
"I'm sorry you know, if I make it hard on you." She added softly. "Sometimes, I can't help it."
Alec looked at her. He felt sorry for her. Hell. It must have been tough living with the fact that she killed her own brother and then having to see his face everyday.
"I knew you know." Alec whispered breaking the silence that was making them slightly uncomfortable.
"Knew what?" Max asked curiously.
"When he died, I felt it." Alec said sadly. "I never saw him but I knew he was there. When he was gone it hurt me too." He sighed heavily.
Max felt terrible for Alec. Losing Ben had been terrible.
Not knowing him would have been worse.
"I'm sorry." She whispered.
It made her feel awful.
She had robbed Alec of his brother.
She had taken his chance of ever meeting Ben and knowing him.
"No more sorries Max." He said holding her hand tightly. "We have enough to be guilty about."
"Ok." She said.
"Oh shit!" Alec said patting his pant leg, looking for something.
"What?" Max asked worriedly. He was acting strange.
"These aren't my pants." He said sounding rather annoyed and worried.
"Yeah, the hospital took yours when you were brought in here and gave you scrubs instead." She said matter of factly.
She wanted to laugh but by the way Alec was acting, she was getting worried.
"God dammit. Max where the hell are my pants?" He said frantically looking around.
"Alec, calm down. They're somewhere. What the hell is so damn important with those pants?" She asked.
He was beginning to really worry her.
He practically pushed her off the bed just trying to get up and look for his pants.
"Just find them!" He hissed. The antigen was in his damn pockets.
That was the reason he was shot and lying in this uncomfortable bed, in this creepy hospital that reminded him too much of Manticore.
He wasn't about to lose the antigen now.
He had gone through so much just to get that freaking thing for Max.
"Ok, ok, jeez." Max said giving up. She straightened herself and stood up to look for the pants.
What the hell just happened?
It was going so well.
They were bonding, talking about their problems, figuring things out.
Then he had to remember his damn pants.
"I'll be back." She said tensely to Alec as she walked out of his room to ask someone about his freaking pants.
"Urgh!" She said when she was far enough.
What the hell was going on?
"Hey boo, how's Alec? Are you okay?" OC said when Max met her in the hallway.
"I'm fine. Alec's fine." Max said distractedly.
"Well, you sure don't sound it." OC insisted. Max was looking pissed and worried at the same time.
Max was supposed to be happy now that Alec was all better, considering the way she acted when he wasn't.
"Alec wants to find his pants." Max said lamely.
"What the hell is so precious about his pants?" OC asked curiously.
"I don't know, OC but Alec is adamant on finding them." Max sighed sharply, running her fingers through her hair.
"You don't look okay." OC declared.
"I'm not okay, OC. Alec and I were getting good. We...we.urgh!" Max said rather annoyed. "Forget it." Max sighed.
"It'll be fine." OC said calmly, rubbing Max arms. "Just find his pants. I'm betting everything will be back to normal." OC said with a chuckle.
Max nodded and groaned as she walked away to look for Alec's pants.
"Here." She said giving Alec's pants over to him. Max had spent half an hour looking for them, bugging the hospital staff and practically going to the dumpster to get them.
She wanted to throw it at him.
She was pissed off and she didn't know why.
"Thanks." Alec said as he searched through his pockets.
Max shrugged her shoulders as she slumped down on the seat lazily.
"Anything for your damn pants." She thought bitterly. Max knew that she should be glad that Alec was alive.
And she was.
She was so damn happy that she could barely keep her hands off of him.
But he was acting so strange now. He didn't even seem to care about her.
"Stupid, stupid pants!" Max thought.
God. Why the hell was she getting so upset over his pants?
It was ridiculous. But she couldn't help it.
She cared about him. She loved him.
"I'm going to go outside and talk to Logan and OC." She said abruptly standing up.
"Max?" Alec said softly.
"Yeah?" She said, sounding harsher than she expected.
"I want you to have this." He said handing over to her a small vile with a blue serum.
Alec looked so miserable as he gave it to her.
Max's hand started to tremble as she took it from him.
She was fighting so damn hard not to cry.
"What's this?" She asked, her voice breaking, betraying her in the process.
"For you and Logan." He said.
"You got it." She whispered, holding the vile tightly.
"Yeah. I got it." Alec replied. "You didn't think I was getting shot at and beaten for nothing right?" He said with a soft chuckle.
Alec kept smiling, despite the hurt that he was feeling inside.
"This is for you, Maxie. All for you. Now you got to choose." He thought. He wanted to say it to her but like her, he was scared.
He didn't really know if she loved him back.
Max was acting like she cared.
But Alec didn't know whether it was because she cared about him as Alec or because today was Ben's death anniversary and she didn't want to lose her brother all over again through him.
"I'll still love you if you choose him." Alec didn't know if he had thought it or said it but by the way Max was looking at him, the tears falling down her face, he suspected that he had blurted it out.
He didn't care. At least now she knows.
Alec didn't know if she was unhappy or relieved or thankful. She was just crying.
"Go." He said firmly. The words tearing at his heart.
"If you walk out that door, I lose you." He thought.
Max nodded, as if understanding him.
She brushed the fresh tears away from her eyes and looked at Alec.
She walked out the door without a single word.
"Good bye, Max." Alec whispered as the tears slowly welled up in his tears, betraying him.