Part VII

***


One... two... three... four, white, identical walls...

Four walls, a celing, a floor... all white.

It's just a room, a small, small room. Four small walls, a small, high celing. High, high celing... white celing...

White... the walls are all white... white as the celing, white as the floor. White as the same white walls. The white celing, the white walls, the white, white floor.

Even me is fucking white!

Back again... in the cell... yet not my usual cell. Another cell. Another white celing to stare up into.

I look around me.

This isn't a room. This isn't part of another building and it's certainly not counted as a 'room' in the first place. It's not big at all. Just in my imagination. This fucking white color makes it big. It seems big because there's only one color in here. One color to make it look bigger.

The very same white color mixed together with the walls and the floor, the celing. I could just imagine the heaven outside of here. Big fluffy, white clouds. Wide, wide heaven.

Blue, blue, blue... I'd even settle for a gray heaven today, just not fucking white!


They say I'm crazy... they say I'm strange... to tell by their looks, by the look in their faces, I guess they're right.

The say I'm a goner, that I will never return. They say I'm crazy... they say I'm strange... they think they controle me, they think I don't care.

To tell by their looks, by the look in their faces. I guess they're right. I'm nothing to hold on to. I'm no one to care for. Another maniac. Another twisted face.

They think I'm all right with it. They think I don't care...

Will they ever understand..?

... Kiss me, kiss me, kill me...


How long have I been here? Another week, another month maybe? I've lost count on time, I once knew as my mortal enemy. The time to end everything. All that once existed, the time that god created together with this miserable crowd called humanity.

I only know one... one is for too long.

I've been here long enough not to remember. The same white room, the same identical white. I don't see myself anymore. A white spot in a white room. Restrained in a white straightjacket.

Unmoving because of the straps around my legs. I don't need to move. If I don't move, my body will go numb and I won't have to feel it anymore.

One less thing to care about... fine with me. As long as I don't know I exist I don't have to act like I think I do either. What a nice thought.

One little step in the wrong direction and he takes over again. One little notice and I'll lose controle. Isn't that so? When I can't concentrate, when I can't count it. It'll catch up with me and get me in time to break through.

I remember it. One locked door. A big door. A vault door, guarded by five or six guards. Six, big men guarding one closed door. All of them armed from top to toe. All of them guarding one boy. All of them scarred to death of one boy and one door that could be opened anytime.


They say he's crazy... they say he's strange...


They say he's telekinetic.

Not one day onlder than fifteen and already so very wise of the big bad world we live in. Reminds me of myself. Though I can't say I feel pitty for him, because I don't.

Life's cheap my dear, accept it...

I think I killed them. I must have, or else they wouldn't have put me here. I think I hurt god that night. I think I hurt him bad... I hope I did.

A wide smirk curl up my lips.

So now we're four. Four braindead assholes at one and the same spot of the earth.

Four lost souls trying to forgett...

Four forgotten people who're desperatly searching for confirmation in their own personal ways.

Four victims who'll never ever be saved.

And I'm neither more nor less part of it than anyone else...

'Schwarz'... that's what they call us. Schwarz is the pitch black color of the night. I like that color, just too far from fucking white.

Schwarz... it has a melody to it. Like, the melody of evil. Death. That is two words I know very well, and also Schwarz. I wonder if we were Schwarz even before this kid came up.

Let me interduce him to you. It's very simple. You see, this fourth member isn't very special. His name is Nagi Naoe and he doesn't make much of a thing about himself. He's just... there. A shadow in the corner. Just there to be there, but not really present.

They say he can move things without touching them. Don't know what that's good for really, but that's his little 'artistic tallent'. At least I'm happy he'll leave my head alone to rest peacfully.

I think I hear someone outside. Let me guess. Light, quick footsteps. Echoing in perfect rythm in perfect time.

Perfect is annoying and boring.

Boring is Crawford...

The door opens and I have just won a free trip to Hawaii, for who isn't there but our all time favorite asshole Bradly Crawford.

You seem to enjoy your little visits to this room, don't you Farfarello? he spats.

Ohhh, mr creamsuit is in a bad mood today. That should mean a certain annoying German is in his best mood today.

Interesting thing... opposites.

Of course I don't answer his no sense question and give him a bored look and a twisted smile just to show my appreciation for his short visits and also to give him my contribution for his 'make me angrier' contest.

Suddenly another person show up beside him in the doorway. The kid. Dressed in a typical blue school uniform looking kind of bored.

Fucking sweet.

The two of them. Fucking boring and perfect. It makes me feel sick. Dah I think Schuldig has a reval if he still wants that fuck with Crawford.

Ugh, makes me feel even sicker. Why doeas god make me suffer through this.
This is Nagi. I assume you never got to meet him the last time because of your behavior. You'll get to know each other better later, now you're coming with me.

The kid doesn't look at me. I wonder if I'm kind of hard to discern in this mixed white color everywhere.
Well sorry pal, but this is my natural hair color and Irish people aren't the sunniest people in the world. But I don't mind you painting over this ugly white color with some nice red maybe and then please come again and maybe you might notice me then.

I give him my best 'know-your-place-freak' look just in case he'll look up. He does and if that wasn't 'love at first sight' I don't know what is.

I just can't hold back that maniac grin.

What a happy family. Schwarz, the four lovable psychics. We'll make such good friends.