Touch
Chapter 3 "Proof of True Existence"
Standard Disclaimer: Everything is owned by its respective owner.
Warnings: Yaoi, OOCness of the plot, YxAxY, Schwarz, CrawfordxSchulderich bastardization of characters, cussing
A/N: This chapter doesn't fit with the rest of what's been happening because it is acting similar to a prologue for the actual chapter three. Once again thank you to everyone who has been reviewing this story, it because of people like you that this story is being continued and I hope you continue to review and email me. Everyone enjoy and review, and try not to become to hopelessly lost.
:telepathy:
Flash back
Translated conversation
*** scene, time, or POV change
My redhead is asleep in the bed we have been sharing off and on since I became leader of this 'team,' if you would call it that. The night air and full moon are as full of promise here as they were back, in an era long forgotten. Does he remember, the time when we laughed together, confided in each other, trusted each other. Yet I do trust him still, though things have changed so suddenly and completely around us.
Sitting here, on the roof of the so called safe house I can't remember why I left. It is so cold here. The night air is chilling; it was never cold once upon a time. And once upon a time I wouldn't have sat on a roof brooding. No, then I would call it thinking and not have it be a lie. When did all that change? The day, the moment I left that world that is my home for this one? This strange and alien world I move in. But then my world is so strange and alien to others, to warm always breathing at a fever pitch. Would my darling redhead like that? Maybe. That's what attracted me to him. What made me love someone so completely as to make me hate myself.
I hurt so much now. This world hurts me, and having him so close and never giving in. This pain is constant; the moments when it wasn't my companion seem nightmarish now. Its breaking me, and taking me, making me what I hated and I can't stop the change. I could, once upon a time. I could control the change and I enjoyed it. I made it mine.
Running under the moon, singing with a voice that chilled and called. Beckoning the world itself to challenge me. Tumbling, rolling, careening and never once carrying this burden. This blood on my hands that is mine. Never holding my own suicide over my head. I never had the folly to carry. And now… and now.
This part of me is pouring out, escaping like blood from a dying being. The part I loved and protected, that made something more than Cassandra believed, it is fading. My hate is killing it and killing me. My hate bred of me, my own stupid folly.
Where are you now, proud one? Skilled one? Revered one? Loved one? Where are you, where were you when your vassal slew you. Destroyed the bond you have while reeking of sex and death. Where are you now? No where near enough to pick me up from this, this trap of pointless dancing. WHERE ARE YOU?!
Have you really left me, without a way back to our world? I don't want this anymore, this duality. I want to know where is it that is mine. This cold world of hail that bleeds me dry. Or the world of heat, fire, warmth that held me and loved me, and would have kept me. Which is mine? I am bleeding on this rooftop, slowly losing more of you and before you go I want to know, could I have ever returned? Now…
Now I have him, waiting in our warm bed, as loving as they were before. He loves me for another reason, he doesn't know who I am. And he gives himself to me, loves me and doesn't know the danger of one such as him doing so. I wouldn't hurt my mind reader, my lupa for the world, yet this fear that I shall is the only scent I smell.
And then there is him. My old friend, who is so far away. How does this cold world treat him? Perhaps it is time that I found out; it has been much too long. Yes, I feel it the familiar strength coming to the fore. A shadow who I was, but then this comes near the time so long ago I embraced that, the shadow within in me. The power I never yielded. Oh yes, let me see how you are old friend. Does this world bleed you and break you as it does me? Or have you made your way, found what you sought when you left. Did you find your mate? Someone who will be your other, better and worse half through the games and pain. That was why you came wasn't it? To find the one? As your dear sister had? As I had?
Ah so bitter, king. Do you hate this memory from your past, no; no I could never hate you, young one. In you there is the arrogance I once had when you knew me that, at least, has not left. Who we were has been torn away, but that hardly matters now. We move in circles around each other, it is only a matter of time 'till those circles meet. And I know of just such an instrument to do so…
Yes, we shall spend this anniversary of what we together. Just like old time, laughing from dawn 'till dusk and then… well time does have a nasty habit of changing the best of traditions. But just because some things change, not all things do. How we both must long for someone to understand, to have walked both roads, transverses both crossings and come back to this the third path that diverged in a yellow wood. The one that is most traveled by and beaten for the ware.
It is time to move; to stop watching passively while all I once was disappears. Move from sitting and gazing as the sky bleeds into day, the Lady as long since been mine to call on. The pain is still deep from losing who I was, but I can't say I gained nothing. I gained my mate, my love, my red-haired German. And if I am not by his side when he returns tot his world from the realm of dreams, well, I'll be there to hold him and watch him wake.
The window to the bedroom is so convenient for these late night sojourns. And I never love anything more than returning to him. Balanced on the small window ledge I can see him turn in his sleep, pressing closer against the pillow that my scent lingers on. It would be cruel to keep him waiting another moment. And with all the silence that accompanies me as an assassin I creep back into the chamber I so often share with him.
Strip down, just as I start to break and crumble I see his figure and it brings me back to myself. The gauze over the wound through which my soul and something so much more precious bleeds out. He holds me together, reminds me of why I left my world to enter this one. So as pull the away the covers and slide into bed with him, his warmth for one instant has all the comfort of what I left behind. He is so much the world I yearn to return to, but I won't hurt him, can't leave him in this harsh place. So instead I hold him in my arms, a welcome change to a reality I am forced to endure.
His pressure against me, as he nestles against my chest is a reassurance to the brightness I was able to find. Yet even his warmth can not chase away the cold within. I want to pretend I don't know, haven't seen, after all we don't speak much anymore… But I know my dearest friend and closet link to the past doesn't have this, only illusion.
But I can change that, tomorrow when we hunt for our prey. Then I will control what once sought to escape me, and then I will recapture for an instant the breath of the past, the warm wind in a world of icicles. Yes, tomorrow the day we both became who we are. I and my partner…
Kudou Youji.