Daft Plushie's 'Dracula'
*Other wise known as 'The Night That Zim Walked The Earth Undead and Dib Ran Around With A Spork! Which Has NOTHING To Do With The Story....or does it....'*
One rainy and stormy night, an old peasant wandered the streets, shuddering under her thick woolen shawls. The rain poured down, striking her like many little spears of liquid. The wind roared and lightning occasionally lit up the sky, making everything go dead white in it's overall brightness. At these times, the old peasant would squint and put an old wrinkled hand up to her eyes. She shuffled along against the storm, wishing that she had cover, but daring not to stop here and find any. She knew all to well what awaited her if she stopped here. Yes...It was here that many a lone traveler disappeared. She had heard the tales all her life about this place. The old woman shuffled on. An hour or so later, the storm had lessened it's cold grip on her and become lighter and meeker. The old woman, loosing her way in the storm, looked about her. She didn't recognize the place, and wondered if it would be safe for her to stop here for the night. She was positive that she was off the road of the undead...
The old woman stopped and walked a ways off the road. It would be bad if she slept on the road. Anything might run her over while she slept...Strange yes, but true. She exited off the side of the road. Somewhere miles away sat an old man with a mighty spork of doom and wonderment...but that isn't until later. Anyway, the old woman curled up on some damp leaves off the side of the road in the ditch and fell asleep. Near morning, something woke her. It was the sound of footsteps, with a distant clomp of horse feet on the road, impatient and ready to go. She was fully awaken by a light touch on the shoulder. She looked up to see the face of a pretty young girl dressed in a very beautiful dress like something royalty would wear. The old woman studied her face as the young girl spoke.
"Oh my...You poor thing, you must have been out here all night in that cold weather! You must come with me and Hanz right away before you get a cold!" She said.
The old woman nodded and allowed the man who the girl was traveling with to help her to her feet. They stepped up into the carriage and started to go. She closed her eyes and thanked the lord for such luck to be discovered by such a nice couple. Soon the wagon stopped and she opened her eyes. When she hopped from the wagon, the light of morning was just brimming over the edge of the mountains. The girl, called Victoria, and the boy called Hanz, rushed her into the large stone castle that they had arrived at. She could barely get a good look at her surroundings as she was rushed up to the third floor and shown her chamber. They gave her a few directions and shut the door. She heard a faint locking noise and turned around to try the doors again. They didn't budge. The room was dark and she had to feel her way to the bed where she lay down and stared at the ceiling.
Suddenly, there was a slight sound of cloth being drug across the cold stone floor. She looked about quickly, fear creeping up in her old bones to jiggle them, making them ache. Suddenly there was a voice beside her. She could feel the cold stinky breath upon her flesh as the demonic voice spoke. It sounded evil, with a crappy Transylvanian accent. It scared her and she tried to roll away, but it had a good grip on her old arms. She tried to scream, but fear had coved her mouth and made her paralyzed. Something sharp in her neck. A pleasant feeling...then nothing.....
**************** The Next night.....er...morning....
'VHAT? Vhat vere you thinking? Bringing me an old hag?" The voice cried.
Hanz and Victoria cringed below it and the large shadow of their master.
"I...I'm sorry Master....We didn't mean to get you that one, but daylight was running out and well...we...uh..." Hanz cried.
"SORRY? SORRY? Ehhhh...do you know how badly old ladies taste? Yuck! Now I need sum new blud to get this avfil taste from my mouth! eeeehk..." The voice complained.
"We didn't know Master...Please let us have another chance...We won't disappoint you!" Victoria cried.
"Vhat? Another chance? To do vhat? Prove to me that you're bumbling idiots? Hah! Be gone vith you bot! May you bot...er....rot in...uh....that one place that you need to rot in...."
And with that...the evil shadowy figure picked both Hanz and Victoria up and tossed them out the window! *can't go wrong with those windows!* Into the sunlight they went, screaming as they first shriveled up, bones protruding from their skin, eyes rolled up into whites. Then they seemed to bloat until they popped, blood flying everywhere, their sagging bodies laying on the ground to turn into dust and blow away. The evil shadow laughed and laughed and laughed, calling upon his new servants to help him round up three beautiful young ladies to wash that DISGUSTING! taste out of his mouth....
********** In the local Village....
"But! I SWEAR I saw him! He was really there!" a young man with black hair said.
"Yeah...and what was he doin'? Using the well out back?" Another man replied.
"Well....actually, he was using the..."
"Rubbish! We shall not have our ears filled with such rubbish!" The older man said.
With that they lifted the boy up by his suspenders and threw him out the door and onto the cobblestone street where he lay on his back and stared up at the blue sky. No one ever believed him! No one at all. The only other person who believed him was dead! Yes...he finally believed when he came face to face with the dreaded monster...luckily he was able to get away before the monster could get him too. A girl with violet hair came up and frowned at the boy and nudged him with her foot.
"Get up Dib...you're makin' a fool outta me!" She said with a sweet and sour Victorian accent.
"But Gaz...." Dib said.
"No buts....I have to maintain a reputation here and I can't be linked to some...guy who's crazy and likes to lay in the street like it was a field or something', and stare off at the sky, dreamin' of monsters that ain't ever set foot in this town." Gaz said as Dib picked himself up.
"Gaz...It wasn't my fault. They threw me out here on the cobblestone...I didn't do it by choice, and I wasn't trying to embarrass you or Dad. Really!" Dib tried to explain.
"Oh, just never mind. Don't be layin' on the ground no more Dib...or I'll have to hurt you." Gaz said as she walked off.
Dib sighed and walked off towards home.
********** At The Castle...
The Count stood over a boiling pot of....boiling stuff that was borrowed from the wicked witch next door. In it he watched the village, the pot scanning through the crowd of potential victims. It stopped on each one and The Count licked his lips and make little remarks on each one.
"Mmmmmm...nice neck... Eeeeewwww...too skinny....hmmm...that one would be nice...oooh....wait....AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH MY EYES! MY EYES! MY EYES! THEY BUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRNNNNNNNNN"
The Count fell back from his pot as the scene moved on. With shaky hands, clutched to the side of the pot, he looked in, his eyes falling on Dib and Gaz. His mouth dropped open as he stared at them. The scene started to move, and he screamed at the pot, wishing it back to follow one. He watched Gaz walked down the street, the brilliant blues of her long skirts flowing behind her on the cobblestone. With that he called for his servant.
"Billy Bob Joe Young McFray Alister Jr.! Come!" He screamed.
A short little guy came running up to him, looking very sleek in his shiny metal...*wait a minuet! Ok....so he was an android that the evil Count had constructed himself from who knows what...but just play along with me will you?* Ok, anyway, Billy Bob Joe Young McFray Alister Jr. saluted and waited for orders. The count asked him to look into the pot and at the girl. He did.
"See her Billy Bob Joe...uh...you? I vant her. Tonight, you will set out and retrieve her for me. Invite her to the castle as a 'special guest' but mention NOTHING about me vanting to suck her dry of her blood and make her a valking corpse for all eternity to serve as my bride! Got it? Then Go!" The Count said, waving him away.
So Billy Bob Joe Young McFray Alister Jr., which was really GIR, left with another salute and ran screaming out of the castle on his way to the Membrane's house to finish his mission. Along the way, he met a cow! But that's not the point....He arrived at their house as the sun started to set and knocked on the door.
******* Earlier That Day In the Village....
Dib sat in his bedroom in the upper part of the house. Thanks to his dad's great strives in inventing things, they had been able to get a fairly decent house instead of sleeping in a barn or something. But the house seemed off in a way since there wasn't a lot of womanly warmth here to keep the house and make it smell like a home. Only him, Gaz, and his dad, and Gaz was always out elsewhere with some other guys. Dib sighed as he decided that if they wanted to eat, he'd have to be the one to cook it. He got up and went downstairs and started to cook.
SOMETIME LATER *Supper I Guess*
Dib, Gaz and his dad sat down at the table and his dad ate everything on his plate, leapt up and went back to work. Gaz ate without a word. After dinner they cleaned up some, washing dishes and sweeping some when there came a knock on the door. Dib answered it to a small little android disguised as a handsome servant. He bowed and then screamed something incomprehensible before asking if Gaz was here in a sophisticated voice. Gaz came to the door and frowned at him and tried to shut the door when he put his foot there and continued to speak.
"Miss Gaz, your presence has been requested up at the Really Spooky Castle on the hill by the Count himself. He wishes to have you for dinner and suck you dry of your blood."
Gaz raised an eye and Dib's mouth dropped open. He stepped in front of the door and screamed at the guy, pointing.
"I knew it! The Count is a vampire! You're his servant and you're trying to convince my sister to go and BE dinner! Well, we won't have it! AWAY WITH YOU, SERVANT OF THE UNDERWORLD!" Dib screamed, slamming the door on his face.
With that, Billy Bob Joe Young McFray Alister Jr. left and went back to the castle where the Count screamed at him and formulated a new plan.
****** The Next Day In The Village....
Gaz was walking along on her way home from the store when Billy Bob Joe Young McFray Alister Jr. stepped in her way and bowed again.
"What now?" She thought.
"The Count still requests your presence in his castle. Will you come Miss Gaz?" He asked, containing insanity.
Gaz thought for a moment. If she went, she'd probably get a decent meal up there, and on top of all that, she'd spite Dib. On the other hand, the guy's probably try to make a move on her and she'd end up kicking his butt. Spite Dib...Kick Count's Ass....Gaz made up her mind.
"Tell your Count that I shall like to come." Gaz said politely.
The guy shut his eyes and screamed something about cows before regaining composure. "We shall pick you up at the house tonight before the sun sets. Thank you and be ready. The Count has suggested that you wear something red. Red is master's favorite color. I LIKE PIGS!!!!!"
And with that, the guy leapt off leaving Gaz behind to wonder what that was all about. She shrugged and walked home to find something red to wear. She couldn't wait to see the look on Dib's face when she went to the castle and came back, proving him wrong. Who was he to make her decisions? When she got home, she put up the food she had bought and went to her room to get ready.
************** That Night......
Gaz sat down in the living room in a beautiful red gown, her violet hair done up in a sort of bun on the back of her head, two curly strands hanging down from her ears. She wore a beautiful gown of deep red with black trimming and a black sash. She looked stunning and Dib wondered what she was all dressed up for. There was a knock on the door and Dib opened it to see Billy Bob Joe Young McFray Alister Jr. standing there. He opened his mouth to say something when Gaz pushed past him, wrapping up in a black satin shawl and being lead to the black wagon that stood a ways out. Dib got up and yelled after her, realizing where she was going.
"NO! GAZ! DON'T! he's gonna suck your blood and then you'll never be able to live a normal life and..." Dib started and was cut off by a small pig chucked at his head.
The wagon pulled away, leaving Dib to stand up and try and run after it, which he did unsuccessfully because he was tired and fell to the ground, panting. HE HAD TO SAVE HIS SISTER! Suddenly, there was movement from near by bushes. He looked around and saw an old woman carrying a small gypsy cart full of stuff. He ran over to her, remembering the old tales of how gypsies always had the answers to anything curse/monster/life related.
********** At the Castle....
Gaz was shown to the dining room to marvel at the long table set with candles and food. Two chairs were set at either end of the table and she raised an eyebrow at it. Why did all the long tables for two look like this? Billy Bob Joe Young McFray Alister Jr. pulled out the seat for her and she sat down and waited. Suddenly there was a dark shadow on the wall as the Count entered. The shadow was tall, sleek and magnificent. The Count appeared next to Gaz in his true form. He was short, pale and had sleeked back black hair and really pale blue eyes. She raised her eyebrows at him as he knelt down and kissed her hand. He then came back up and straightened.
"It is a pleasure to meet you, Miss Gaz...Please, let's eat now and then we can get better acquainted." The Count, who we've all figured out to be Zim said.
He returned to his seat at the end of the table and sat down as they started their meal.
***** Back at the Village...
Dib told the gypsy woman what was going on as she stood and listened. She nodded her head and thought for a moment before giving an answer that Dib needed.
"To kill the undead one in the castle on the hill....you have to strike him through the heart with a....MAGICAL SILVER SPORK!"
"Where am I gonna get a spork?" Dib asked frustrated.
"I have one in my possession that I am willing to trade...." She said coyly.
"Great! Thank you!"
"Wait just a second....one-hundred fifty gold shillings..."
"What? Where am I supposed to get that?"
The old woman shrugged. "If you don't have it, then too bad...sorry, come again..."
"No! No wait! I have uh....This really shiny rock...I'll give you that for the spork...."
The old woman pondered it for a moment and then shrugged. Dib pulled out the really shiny rock and traded it for the spork. He held it up above his head in triumph and yelled 'yeah!' before running off down the road, leaving the old woman behind. A few minuets later, he came running back asking for directions to the castle before running off in the other direction.
********* At the Castle....
Gaz and Count Zim sat in the cold parlor, a large fire in the fireplace burned brightly as they started talking. Count Zim tried to flatter Gaz.
"Your eyes, they're so beautiful and deeply brown..." Count Zim said, staring at Gaz.
"Uh....and your eyes are so....uh...pale blue...or something..." Gaz said nervously.
"And your hair, it's so violet, like a violet..."
"Violets are blue..."
"Uh...Not the ones I've seen! And your skin...You look so delicious in that red and black dress Miss Gaz."
"Thank you Count Zim...It is getting late, I must return to my house."
"But I'm afraid that you can't, it's snowing too hard out there for the vagon to take you safely back home vithout accidents. I insist that you stay here in my Castle tonight, Miss Gaz..."
Gaz looked out of the window and frowned. There wasn't a snowflake in the sky, and there wouldn't be for another couple of months! It was July for heaven's sakes!
"It's July, Count Zim....It can't snow..." Gaz replied, deciding that if she stayed here any longer she'd be forced to kill him.
"Vhat? No! You're just tired....there's lots of snow on....THE OTHER SIDE OF THE HOUSE! Please, Miss Gaz, come and my servant Billy Bob Joe Young Mc....uh...my servant shall show you to your quarters...
************** In the Village....STILL
Dib ran to another house to ask which way it was to the castle for the 60th time and he finally got a straight answer. Dib ran over to the road and looked up at a neon sign that said "Count Zim's Spooky Castle on the Hill....THIS WAY!" Dib smacked his forehead. Why didn't he see that before? Dib ran up the road towards the castle and to Count Zim and his sister, battling off flying monkeys along the way. Finally he got up to a hill called 'Castle Road' and ran into the first castle on his right. He burst through the door.
"Aha! Unhand my sister you foul being of darkness and uh....stuff!" Dib screamed, spork in one hand, the other hand pointing.
A wicked witch looked up from where she was concocting a evil brew with a little girl in a blue checkered dress and shiny red shoes, her brown hair in pigtail braids standing in a cage behind her scared. They looked up at Dib and he lowered his finger and looked about.
"Oops...I guess this isn't...Count Zim's Castle...uhh...yeah...sorry..."
Dib backed out of the castle and ran down to the next castle where he burst in again. This time he had interrupted a large beast in a tux and a girl in a yellow dress dancing to a song a teapot sang. They stopped and stared at him and he lowered his finger again.
"I guess this isn't Zim's castle either....sorry..."
Dib backed out and ran to the next castle.
****MEANWHILE****
Gaz sat on her bed and frowned. What an idiot. She thought that she'd just wait until he was a sleep and then she'd sneak out and go home. It's not like he'd miss her or anything. I mean, come on...If this didn't sound like some horror story setting, then your brain's messed up. Gaz yawned. It wouldn't hurt to lay down and wait and rest her eyes. She soon found herself drifting to sleep against her will. She dozed off and waited. Suddenly, farther into the night, she awoke to a noise and looked over by her bed to see Count Zim approaching her. She sat up and Count Zim bore his fangs and came closer, trying to grab her before she ran and escaped.
****AND THEN...****
Dib trudged out of Rapunzle's castle and down the street when he ran into a large castle with another neon sign that said 'Count Zim's Lair'. Dib sighed and ran into the castle hoping against hope that it wasn't too late for his sister. This time, when he burst into the room where Gaz was sleeping, well, being attacked by Count Zim and screamed at the top of his lungs.
"STOP RIGHT THERE COUNT ZIM! I AM DIB MEMBRANE AND I'M HERE TO KICK YOUR BUT IN THE NAME OF ALL THAT'S PARANORMAL AND......STUFF!!!.................where did THAT come from?" Dib said as he held the spork in his hand and pointed.
Count Zim dropped Gaz who rolled off and hit the floor with a loud Thunk. Count Zim turned around and stared at Dib who started back, coldly.
"Aaaaaahhhhh...Dib....my archenemies....I knew this day vould come. But you are too late for I have already drained your precious sister of her blud and she is mine now! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Count Zim screamed.
"TASTE COLD METAL FORK!" Dib screamed, launching himself at Count Zim who was standing there laughing.
Gaz rose up behind Zim, hair ruffled and fingers bent like claws, her deep brown eyes glaring at Zim's back as she made a move to grab him and choke him from behind when Dib tackled him and knocked her back down in the process. They rolled around on the floor and Dib slammed the spork downwards as Count Zim moved, narrowly missing the sharp points of the spork. Count Zim rolled away and got to his feet as Dib was pulling the spork out of the floor.
"FANGY FANG POWER!" Count Zim cried waving his hand as a bunch of fangs came out of nowhere and flew at Dib a few of them hit his shoulder, tearing the flesh a bit, drawing some blood.
"OUCH! now you'll pay, Count Zim....SHINY SPORK OF DOOM!" With that Dib tossed his spork at Count Zim after doing a creepy little spin dance that took like, forever....
The spork narrowly missed Zim's shoulder and returned to Dib after hitting the wall. Gaz got up as Count Zim is laughing and goes to kill him when she's thrown back by Dib who was thrown out of the way by Count Zim's EVIL MIND POWERS! She growled as Dib leapt up and tackled Count Zim again, this time, pinning him to the ground.
"Now you die foul being!" Dib said jamming the spork into Count Zim's heart.
Dib leapt off Zim and stepped back ,watching Count Zim as he writhes around on the ground, the silver spork jammed deep into his heart. He gasped for air and his left eye twitched as he screamed curses. Finally he ceased all major movement and sound with the exception of post-death twitches. Dib walked over to him and poked him with a stick that he found laying on the floor. Count Zim suddenly sat up and screamed.
"I GO BAT NOW!"
With that he curled up into a ball and turned into a bat and flaped above Dib's head laughing maniacally as the spork lay on the floor.
"MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA! Take that Dib beast! You may have one this battle....BUT THE VOAR IS NOT OVER YET!"
With that he turned around and flew off towards the window laughing. With a loud Thunk he hit the glass and fell to the floor, twitching. Dib stood there, Gaz had come up beside him and was glaring at him, her eye twitching, her hands curled up into fists. Dib looked out the window at the sun that was slowly rising.
"You're safe for now Gaz...but for how long?"
Gaz leapt up and tackled Dib to the floor where she continued on to choke him. The sun rose and a new day began...
**************************************************************************** *****
*By the way, I know some things in Count Zim's speech are spelled wrong, but I intended to do that, it's just the way he talks.*
*Other wise known as 'The Night That Zim Walked The Earth Undead and Dib Ran Around With A Spork! Which Has NOTHING To Do With The Story....or does it....'*
One rainy and stormy night, an old peasant wandered the streets, shuddering under her thick woolen shawls. The rain poured down, striking her like many little spears of liquid. The wind roared and lightning occasionally lit up the sky, making everything go dead white in it's overall brightness. At these times, the old peasant would squint and put an old wrinkled hand up to her eyes. She shuffled along against the storm, wishing that she had cover, but daring not to stop here and find any. She knew all to well what awaited her if she stopped here. Yes...It was here that many a lone traveler disappeared. She had heard the tales all her life about this place. The old woman shuffled on. An hour or so later, the storm had lessened it's cold grip on her and become lighter and meeker. The old woman, loosing her way in the storm, looked about her. She didn't recognize the place, and wondered if it would be safe for her to stop here for the night. She was positive that she was off the road of the undead...
The old woman stopped and walked a ways off the road. It would be bad if she slept on the road. Anything might run her over while she slept...Strange yes, but true. She exited off the side of the road. Somewhere miles away sat an old man with a mighty spork of doom and wonderment...but that isn't until later. Anyway, the old woman curled up on some damp leaves off the side of the road in the ditch and fell asleep. Near morning, something woke her. It was the sound of footsteps, with a distant clomp of horse feet on the road, impatient and ready to go. She was fully awaken by a light touch on the shoulder. She looked up to see the face of a pretty young girl dressed in a very beautiful dress like something royalty would wear. The old woman studied her face as the young girl spoke.
"Oh my...You poor thing, you must have been out here all night in that cold weather! You must come with me and Hanz right away before you get a cold!" She said.
The old woman nodded and allowed the man who the girl was traveling with to help her to her feet. They stepped up into the carriage and started to go. She closed her eyes and thanked the lord for such luck to be discovered by such a nice couple. Soon the wagon stopped and she opened her eyes. When she hopped from the wagon, the light of morning was just brimming over the edge of the mountains. The girl, called Victoria, and the boy called Hanz, rushed her into the large stone castle that they had arrived at. She could barely get a good look at her surroundings as she was rushed up to the third floor and shown her chamber. They gave her a few directions and shut the door. She heard a faint locking noise and turned around to try the doors again. They didn't budge. The room was dark and she had to feel her way to the bed where she lay down and stared at the ceiling.
Suddenly, there was a slight sound of cloth being drug across the cold stone floor. She looked about quickly, fear creeping up in her old bones to jiggle them, making them ache. Suddenly there was a voice beside her. She could feel the cold stinky breath upon her flesh as the demonic voice spoke. It sounded evil, with a crappy Transylvanian accent. It scared her and she tried to roll away, but it had a good grip on her old arms. She tried to scream, but fear had coved her mouth and made her paralyzed. Something sharp in her neck. A pleasant feeling...then nothing.....
**************** The Next night.....er...morning....
'VHAT? Vhat vere you thinking? Bringing me an old hag?" The voice cried.
Hanz and Victoria cringed below it and the large shadow of their master.
"I...I'm sorry Master....We didn't mean to get you that one, but daylight was running out and well...we...uh..." Hanz cried.
"SORRY? SORRY? Ehhhh...do you know how badly old ladies taste? Yuck! Now I need sum new blud to get this avfil taste from my mouth! eeeehk..." The voice complained.
"We didn't know Master...Please let us have another chance...We won't disappoint you!" Victoria cried.
"Vhat? Another chance? To do vhat? Prove to me that you're bumbling idiots? Hah! Be gone vith you bot! May you bot...er....rot in...uh....that one place that you need to rot in...."
And with that...the evil shadowy figure picked both Hanz and Victoria up and tossed them out the window! *can't go wrong with those windows!* Into the sunlight they went, screaming as they first shriveled up, bones protruding from their skin, eyes rolled up into whites. Then they seemed to bloat until they popped, blood flying everywhere, their sagging bodies laying on the ground to turn into dust and blow away. The evil shadow laughed and laughed and laughed, calling upon his new servants to help him round up three beautiful young ladies to wash that DISGUSTING! taste out of his mouth....
********** In the local Village....
"But! I SWEAR I saw him! He was really there!" a young man with black hair said.
"Yeah...and what was he doin'? Using the well out back?" Another man replied.
"Well....actually, he was using the..."
"Rubbish! We shall not have our ears filled with such rubbish!" The older man said.
With that they lifted the boy up by his suspenders and threw him out the door and onto the cobblestone street where he lay on his back and stared up at the blue sky. No one ever believed him! No one at all. The only other person who believed him was dead! Yes...he finally believed when he came face to face with the dreaded monster...luckily he was able to get away before the monster could get him too. A girl with violet hair came up and frowned at the boy and nudged him with her foot.
"Get up Dib...you're makin' a fool outta me!" She said with a sweet and sour Victorian accent.
"But Gaz...." Dib said.
"No buts....I have to maintain a reputation here and I can't be linked to some...guy who's crazy and likes to lay in the street like it was a field or something', and stare off at the sky, dreamin' of monsters that ain't ever set foot in this town." Gaz said as Dib picked himself up.
"Gaz...It wasn't my fault. They threw me out here on the cobblestone...I didn't do it by choice, and I wasn't trying to embarrass you or Dad. Really!" Dib tried to explain.
"Oh, just never mind. Don't be layin' on the ground no more Dib...or I'll have to hurt you." Gaz said as she walked off.
Dib sighed and walked off towards home.
********** At The Castle...
The Count stood over a boiling pot of....boiling stuff that was borrowed from the wicked witch next door. In it he watched the village, the pot scanning through the crowd of potential victims. It stopped on each one and The Count licked his lips and make little remarks on each one.
"Mmmmmm...nice neck... Eeeeewwww...too skinny....hmmm...that one would be nice...oooh....wait....AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH MY EYES! MY EYES! MY EYES! THEY BUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRNNNNNNNNN"
The Count fell back from his pot as the scene moved on. With shaky hands, clutched to the side of the pot, he looked in, his eyes falling on Dib and Gaz. His mouth dropped open as he stared at them. The scene started to move, and he screamed at the pot, wishing it back to follow one. He watched Gaz walked down the street, the brilliant blues of her long skirts flowing behind her on the cobblestone. With that he called for his servant.
"Billy Bob Joe Young McFray Alister Jr.! Come!" He screamed.
A short little guy came running up to him, looking very sleek in his shiny metal...*wait a minuet! Ok....so he was an android that the evil Count had constructed himself from who knows what...but just play along with me will you?* Ok, anyway, Billy Bob Joe Young McFray Alister Jr. saluted and waited for orders. The count asked him to look into the pot and at the girl. He did.
"See her Billy Bob Joe...uh...you? I vant her. Tonight, you will set out and retrieve her for me. Invite her to the castle as a 'special guest' but mention NOTHING about me vanting to suck her dry of her blood and make her a valking corpse for all eternity to serve as my bride! Got it? Then Go!" The Count said, waving him away.
So Billy Bob Joe Young McFray Alister Jr., which was really GIR, left with another salute and ran screaming out of the castle on his way to the Membrane's house to finish his mission. Along the way, he met a cow! But that's not the point....He arrived at their house as the sun started to set and knocked on the door.
******* Earlier That Day In the Village....
Dib sat in his bedroom in the upper part of the house. Thanks to his dad's great strives in inventing things, they had been able to get a fairly decent house instead of sleeping in a barn or something. But the house seemed off in a way since there wasn't a lot of womanly warmth here to keep the house and make it smell like a home. Only him, Gaz, and his dad, and Gaz was always out elsewhere with some other guys. Dib sighed as he decided that if they wanted to eat, he'd have to be the one to cook it. He got up and went downstairs and started to cook.
SOMETIME LATER *Supper I Guess*
Dib, Gaz and his dad sat down at the table and his dad ate everything on his plate, leapt up and went back to work. Gaz ate without a word. After dinner they cleaned up some, washing dishes and sweeping some when there came a knock on the door. Dib answered it to a small little android disguised as a handsome servant. He bowed and then screamed something incomprehensible before asking if Gaz was here in a sophisticated voice. Gaz came to the door and frowned at him and tried to shut the door when he put his foot there and continued to speak.
"Miss Gaz, your presence has been requested up at the Really Spooky Castle on the hill by the Count himself. He wishes to have you for dinner and suck you dry of your blood."
Gaz raised an eye and Dib's mouth dropped open. He stepped in front of the door and screamed at the guy, pointing.
"I knew it! The Count is a vampire! You're his servant and you're trying to convince my sister to go and BE dinner! Well, we won't have it! AWAY WITH YOU, SERVANT OF THE UNDERWORLD!" Dib screamed, slamming the door on his face.
With that, Billy Bob Joe Young McFray Alister Jr. left and went back to the castle where the Count screamed at him and formulated a new plan.
****** The Next Day In The Village....
Gaz was walking along on her way home from the store when Billy Bob Joe Young McFray Alister Jr. stepped in her way and bowed again.
"What now?" She thought.
"The Count still requests your presence in his castle. Will you come Miss Gaz?" He asked, containing insanity.
Gaz thought for a moment. If she went, she'd probably get a decent meal up there, and on top of all that, she'd spite Dib. On the other hand, the guy's probably try to make a move on her and she'd end up kicking his butt. Spite Dib...Kick Count's Ass....Gaz made up her mind.
"Tell your Count that I shall like to come." Gaz said politely.
The guy shut his eyes and screamed something about cows before regaining composure. "We shall pick you up at the house tonight before the sun sets. Thank you and be ready. The Count has suggested that you wear something red. Red is master's favorite color. I LIKE PIGS!!!!!"
And with that, the guy leapt off leaving Gaz behind to wonder what that was all about. She shrugged and walked home to find something red to wear. She couldn't wait to see the look on Dib's face when she went to the castle and came back, proving him wrong. Who was he to make her decisions? When she got home, she put up the food she had bought and went to her room to get ready.
************** That Night......
Gaz sat down in the living room in a beautiful red gown, her violet hair done up in a sort of bun on the back of her head, two curly strands hanging down from her ears. She wore a beautiful gown of deep red with black trimming and a black sash. She looked stunning and Dib wondered what she was all dressed up for. There was a knock on the door and Dib opened it to see Billy Bob Joe Young McFray Alister Jr. standing there. He opened his mouth to say something when Gaz pushed past him, wrapping up in a black satin shawl and being lead to the black wagon that stood a ways out. Dib got up and yelled after her, realizing where she was going.
"NO! GAZ! DON'T! he's gonna suck your blood and then you'll never be able to live a normal life and..." Dib started and was cut off by a small pig chucked at his head.
The wagon pulled away, leaving Dib to stand up and try and run after it, which he did unsuccessfully because he was tired and fell to the ground, panting. HE HAD TO SAVE HIS SISTER! Suddenly, there was movement from near by bushes. He looked around and saw an old woman carrying a small gypsy cart full of stuff. He ran over to her, remembering the old tales of how gypsies always had the answers to anything curse/monster/life related.
********** At the Castle....
Gaz was shown to the dining room to marvel at the long table set with candles and food. Two chairs were set at either end of the table and she raised an eyebrow at it. Why did all the long tables for two look like this? Billy Bob Joe Young McFray Alister Jr. pulled out the seat for her and she sat down and waited. Suddenly there was a dark shadow on the wall as the Count entered. The shadow was tall, sleek and magnificent. The Count appeared next to Gaz in his true form. He was short, pale and had sleeked back black hair and really pale blue eyes. She raised her eyebrows at him as he knelt down and kissed her hand. He then came back up and straightened.
"It is a pleasure to meet you, Miss Gaz...Please, let's eat now and then we can get better acquainted." The Count, who we've all figured out to be Zim said.
He returned to his seat at the end of the table and sat down as they started their meal.
***** Back at the Village...
Dib told the gypsy woman what was going on as she stood and listened. She nodded her head and thought for a moment before giving an answer that Dib needed.
"To kill the undead one in the castle on the hill....you have to strike him through the heart with a....MAGICAL SILVER SPORK!"
"Where am I gonna get a spork?" Dib asked frustrated.
"I have one in my possession that I am willing to trade...." She said coyly.
"Great! Thank you!"
"Wait just a second....one-hundred fifty gold shillings..."
"What? Where am I supposed to get that?"
The old woman shrugged. "If you don't have it, then too bad...sorry, come again..."
"No! No wait! I have uh....This really shiny rock...I'll give you that for the spork...."
The old woman pondered it for a moment and then shrugged. Dib pulled out the really shiny rock and traded it for the spork. He held it up above his head in triumph and yelled 'yeah!' before running off down the road, leaving the old woman behind. A few minuets later, he came running back asking for directions to the castle before running off in the other direction.
********* At the Castle....
Gaz and Count Zim sat in the cold parlor, a large fire in the fireplace burned brightly as they started talking. Count Zim tried to flatter Gaz.
"Your eyes, they're so beautiful and deeply brown..." Count Zim said, staring at Gaz.
"Uh....and your eyes are so....uh...pale blue...or something..." Gaz said nervously.
"And your hair, it's so violet, like a violet..."
"Violets are blue..."
"Uh...Not the ones I've seen! And your skin...You look so delicious in that red and black dress Miss Gaz."
"Thank you Count Zim...It is getting late, I must return to my house."
"But I'm afraid that you can't, it's snowing too hard out there for the vagon to take you safely back home vithout accidents. I insist that you stay here in my Castle tonight, Miss Gaz..."
Gaz looked out of the window and frowned. There wasn't a snowflake in the sky, and there wouldn't be for another couple of months! It was July for heaven's sakes!
"It's July, Count Zim....It can't snow..." Gaz replied, deciding that if she stayed here any longer she'd be forced to kill him.
"Vhat? No! You're just tired....there's lots of snow on....THE OTHER SIDE OF THE HOUSE! Please, Miss Gaz, come and my servant Billy Bob Joe Young Mc....uh...my servant shall show you to your quarters...
************** In the Village....STILL
Dib ran to another house to ask which way it was to the castle for the 60th time and he finally got a straight answer. Dib ran over to the road and looked up at a neon sign that said "Count Zim's Spooky Castle on the Hill....THIS WAY!" Dib smacked his forehead. Why didn't he see that before? Dib ran up the road towards the castle and to Count Zim and his sister, battling off flying monkeys along the way. Finally he got up to a hill called 'Castle Road' and ran into the first castle on his right. He burst through the door.
"Aha! Unhand my sister you foul being of darkness and uh....stuff!" Dib screamed, spork in one hand, the other hand pointing.
A wicked witch looked up from where she was concocting a evil brew with a little girl in a blue checkered dress and shiny red shoes, her brown hair in pigtail braids standing in a cage behind her scared. They looked up at Dib and he lowered his finger and looked about.
"Oops...I guess this isn't...Count Zim's Castle...uhh...yeah...sorry..."
Dib backed out of the castle and ran down to the next castle where he burst in again. This time he had interrupted a large beast in a tux and a girl in a yellow dress dancing to a song a teapot sang. They stopped and stared at him and he lowered his finger again.
"I guess this isn't Zim's castle either....sorry..."
Dib backed out and ran to the next castle.
****MEANWHILE****
Gaz sat on her bed and frowned. What an idiot. She thought that she'd just wait until he was a sleep and then she'd sneak out and go home. It's not like he'd miss her or anything. I mean, come on...If this didn't sound like some horror story setting, then your brain's messed up. Gaz yawned. It wouldn't hurt to lay down and wait and rest her eyes. She soon found herself drifting to sleep against her will. She dozed off and waited. Suddenly, farther into the night, she awoke to a noise and looked over by her bed to see Count Zim approaching her. She sat up and Count Zim bore his fangs and came closer, trying to grab her before she ran and escaped.
****AND THEN...****
Dib trudged out of Rapunzle's castle and down the street when he ran into a large castle with another neon sign that said 'Count Zim's Lair'. Dib sighed and ran into the castle hoping against hope that it wasn't too late for his sister. This time, when he burst into the room where Gaz was sleeping, well, being attacked by Count Zim and screamed at the top of his lungs.
"STOP RIGHT THERE COUNT ZIM! I AM DIB MEMBRANE AND I'M HERE TO KICK YOUR BUT IN THE NAME OF ALL THAT'S PARANORMAL AND......STUFF!!!.................where did THAT come from?" Dib said as he held the spork in his hand and pointed.
Count Zim dropped Gaz who rolled off and hit the floor with a loud Thunk. Count Zim turned around and stared at Dib who started back, coldly.
"Aaaaaahhhhh...Dib....my archenemies....I knew this day vould come. But you are too late for I have already drained your precious sister of her blud and she is mine now! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Count Zim screamed.
"TASTE COLD METAL FORK!" Dib screamed, launching himself at Count Zim who was standing there laughing.
Gaz rose up behind Zim, hair ruffled and fingers bent like claws, her deep brown eyes glaring at Zim's back as she made a move to grab him and choke him from behind when Dib tackled him and knocked her back down in the process. They rolled around on the floor and Dib slammed the spork downwards as Count Zim moved, narrowly missing the sharp points of the spork. Count Zim rolled away and got to his feet as Dib was pulling the spork out of the floor.
"FANGY FANG POWER!" Count Zim cried waving his hand as a bunch of fangs came out of nowhere and flew at Dib a few of them hit his shoulder, tearing the flesh a bit, drawing some blood.
"OUCH! now you'll pay, Count Zim....SHINY SPORK OF DOOM!" With that Dib tossed his spork at Count Zim after doing a creepy little spin dance that took like, forever....
The spork narrowly missed Zim's shoulder and returned to Dib after hitting the wall. Gaz got up as Count Zim is laughing and goes to kill him when she's thrown back by Dib who was thrown out of the way by Count Zim's EVIL MIND POWERS! She growled as Dib leapt up and tackled Count Zim again, this time, pinning him to the ground.
"Now you die foul being!" Dib said jamming the spork into Count Zim's heart.
Dib leapt off Zim and stepped back ,watching Count Zim as he writhes around on the ground, the silver spork jammed deep into his heart. He gasped for air and his left eye twitched as he screamed curses. Finally he ceased all major movement and sound with the exception of post-death twitches. Dib walked over to him and poked him with a stick that he found laying on the floor. Count Zim suddenly sat up and screamed.
"I GO BAT NOW!"
With that he curled up into a ball and turned into a bat and flaped above Dib's head laughing maniacally as the spork lay on the floor.
"MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA! Take that Dib beast! You may have one this battle....BUT THE VOAR IS NOT OVER YET!"
With that he turned around and flew off towards the window laughing. With a loud Thunk he hit the glass and fell to the floor, twitching. Dib stood there, Gaz had come up beside him and was glaring at him, her eye twitching, her hands curled up into fists. Dib looked out the window at the sun that was slowly rising.
"You're safe for now Gaz...but for how long?"
Gaz leapt up and tackled Dib to the floor where she continued on to choke him. The sun rose and a new day began...
**************************************************************************** *****
*By the way, I know some things in Count Zim's speech are spelled wrong, but I intended to do that, it's just the way he talks.*