FINALLY, an update. I haven't written anything for this fic since about
July. I'm really, really sorry if anyone actually is, like, searching
avidly every day to see if I've done anything new, but I doubt that quite
seriously (and I'm rarely serious about anything). Nobody made any
suggestions about possible plot directions, so I've just written a chapter
in which... (drumroll)... nothing much happens. Well, it was either that or
revise, and I really don't want to pass my exams or anything ;). Anyway,
hope you enjoy, let me know what you think.
Chapter 9
The morning after the party at Rivendell, the only being, human or otherwise, who was stirring throughout the building was Gandalf. He rose from his bed at the crack of dawn, and made his way down the corridor. So preoccupied was he that he temporarily forgot what stairs were, and how one normally dealt with them. He remembered pretty soon afterwards, however, as he lay at the bottom of them, rubbing a battered elbow and crawling after his hat, the point of which was now bent in on itself completely. Having got to his feet again, he picked his way disdainfully across the marble halls, which were liberally scattered with catatonic elves. The main hall was a total wreck, and Gandalf mentally thanked every deity he could think of, including himself, that Arwen was not present to yell herself hoarse at Elrond, since he probably would not survive the experience.
Elrond's apparent switch to the dark side was a matter of some concern to Gandalf, as well as being frankly rather amusing. With Saruman, it had been less surprising, since Saruman had been verging on the slightly- mad-to-completely-stark-staring-loony for aeons. But Elrond was a big suprise, and Gandalf needed to speak to someone with slightly more wisdom than Merry, Frodo, or (God forbid) Pippin. He made his way into the library and picked up the phone. He noted without surprise that the number he wanted was on speed dial.
Galadriel of Lothlorien was doing yoga when her phone went off with that irritating little ditty known unimaginatively as "Nokia Tune" (AN: Don't ask how nokia got into middle earth. I figure that, with nokia's profits, and the all-pervading ring tones, time travel isn't far away for their products. But the day I go to, say, the antarctic, and hear a phone going off is the day I move planet. Sorry, going off on a tangent here....). Anyway, Galadriel answered the phone, and was surprised to hear Gandalf's voice.
"Y'hello?"
"Galadriel? Ah, hello Glad, it's Gandalf here."
"Gandalf! This is a pleasant...well, a surprise, at least. What's up?"
"Well, a few problems, I'm afraid. You know how Saruman recently went a little...umm, how to put it...."
"Potty?"
"Yes, 'potty'. Well, I'm sorry to say that Elrond's gone the same way."
"He's done what now?"
"He's decided that he is, from this time forth, evil."
"Gandalf, is this April the first or something and I completely missed it?"
"No, no, I'm serious I'm afraid. Course, the whole thing could have been a big joke."
"Oh lordy. Well, what do you want me to do?"
"Nothing, at present. I'll just see how things go from here. Of course, there is always the possibility that he'll get tired of it and give it up. Like all his previous obsessions."
"Oh, like the tiddlywinks fanaticism. And the whole conceptual art thing. And the bungee-jumping phase."
"Yes, I think that was my least favourite of them all. Having fallen many many thousands of feet from Khazad-Dum, and losing one of my lives in the process, I was less than amused when he kept banging on and on about the exhilarating nature of bungee- jumping. It's just a shame he didn't manage to get himself killed."
"Yes, well, we can always hope, can we not? Maybe Sauron will think he's got a rival and finish him of for us?"
"That would be excellent. Well, I'll be seeing you, Gandy, don't do anything I wouldn't do. Byee."
She hung up. Gandalf put the phone down, unaware that Elrond was standing just behind the door, and listening on the extension. The first Gandalf saw of him was when he strode through the door, yawning and rubbing his hands together. Gandalf looked him up and down, then said,
"Elrond, good morning. Look, that whole evil thing that you waxed eloquent about last night..."
"Oh, Gandalf," replied Elrond, cheerfully, "don't you worry about that. I was completely sloshed, didn't know what I was saying. I thought it was a terrific joke at the time, although it doesn't seem very funny now."
"Oh, well, thank Eru for that," said Gandalf, very much relieved, "You had me a tad worried for about eight hours there. I'm glad you were kidding. It is a ridiculous notion."
"Ridiculous indeed. Me, of all people? I'm amazed you believe it even for a second."
"Yes, it does seem a little stupid now. Well, if you don't need me at the present, I'll just be off to wash my beard."
He sauntered off, feeling reassured. Elrond watched him go. A ridiculous notion indeed, which was why it was so brilliant. No-one would believe him until it was too late. And that idea of getting Sauron involved was actually not bad at all...
Chapter 9
The morning after the party at Rivendell, the only being, human or otherwise, who was stirring throughout the building was Gandalf. He rose from his bed at the crack of dawn, and made his way down the corridor. So preoccupied was he that he temporarily forgot what stairs were, and how one normally dealt with them. He remembered pretty soon afterwards, however, as he lay at the bottom of them, rubbing a battered elbow and crawling after his hat, the point of which was now bent in on itself completely. Having got to his feet again, he picked his way disdainfully across the marble halls, which were liberally scattered with catatonic elves. The main hall was a total wreck, and Gandalf mentally thanked every deity he could think of, including himself, that Arwen was not present to yell herself hoarse at Elrond, since he probably would not survive the experience.
Elrond's apparent switch to the dark side was a matter of some concern to Gandalf, as well as being frankly rather amusing. With Saruman, it had been less surprising, since Saruman had been verging on the slightly- mad-to-completely-stark-staring-loony for aeons. But Elrond was a big suprise, and Gandalf needed to speak to someone with slightly more wisdom than Merry, Frodo, or (God forbid) Pippin. He made his way into the library and picked up the phone. He noted without surprise that the number he wanted was on speed dial.
Galadriel of Lothlorien was doing yoga when her phone went off with that irritating little ditty known unimaginatively as "Nokia Tune" (AN: Don't ask how nokia got into middle earth. I figure that, with nokia's profits, and the all-pervading ring tones, time travel isn't far away for their products. But the day I go to, say, the antarctic, and hear a phone going off is the day I move planet. Sorry, going off on a tangent here....). Anyway, Galadriel answered the phone, and was surprised to hear Gandalf's voice.
"Y'hello?"
"Galadriel? Ah, hello Glad, it's Gandalf here."
"Gandalf! This is a pleasant...well, a surprise, at least. What's up?"
"Well, a few problems, I'm afraid. You know how Saruman recently went a little...umm, how to put it...."
"Potty?"
"Yes, 'potty'. Well, I'm sorry to say that Elrond's gone the same way."
"He's done what now?"
"He's decided that he is, from this time forth, evil."
"Gandalf, is this April the first or something and I completely missed it?"
"No, no, I'm serious I'm afraid. Course, the whole thing could have been a big joke."
"Oh lordy. Well, what do you want me to do?"
"Nothing, at present. I'll just see how things go from here. Of course, there is always the possibility that he'll get tired of it and give it up. Like all his previous obsessions."
"Oh, like the tiddlywinks fanaticism. And the whole conceptual art thing. And the bungee-jumping phase."
"Yes, I think that was my least favourite of them all. Having fallen many many thousands of feet from Khazad-Dum, and losing one of my lives in the process, I was less than amused when he kept banging on and on about the exhilarating nature of bungee- jumping. It's just a shame he didn't manage to get himself killed."
"Yes, well, we can always hope, can we not? Maybe Sauron will think he's got a rival and finish him of for us?"
"That would be excellent. Well, I'll be seeing you, Gandy, don't do anything I wouldn't do. Byee."
She hung up. Gandalf put the phone down, unaware that Elrond was standing just behind the door, and listening on the extension. The first Gandalf saw of him was when he strode through the door, yawning and rubbing his hands together. Gandalf looked him up and down, then said,
"Elrond, good morning. Look, that whole evil thing that you waxed eloquent about last night..."
"Oh, Gandalf," replied Elrond, cheerfully, "don't you worry about that. I was completely sloshed, didn't know what I was saying. I thought it was a terrific joke at the time, although it doesn't seem very funny now."
"Oh, well, thank Eru for that," said Gandalf, very much relieved, "You had me a tad worried for about eight hours there. I'm glad you were kidding. It is a ridiculous notion."
"Ridiculous indeed. Me, of all people? I'm amazed you believe it even for a second."
"Yes, it does seem a little stupid now. Well, if you don't need me at the present, I'll just be off to wash my beard."
He sauntered off, feeling reassured. Elrond watched him go. A ridiculous notion indeed, which was why it was so brilliant. No-one would believe him until it was too late. And that idea of getting Sauron involved was actually not bad at all...