A change in the air
By Todd fan
Disclaimer: "I can hear what women think".
Okay, just a note. I'm not SURE if Todd has an Italian heritidige or not. But his surname SOUNDS Italian. Tolensky. Yeah, i think it sounds Italian. And it's my fic, so there! I have had to do ALOT of research into Italian words, 'cause i have an obessive need for everything to be right, so Nonna is Grandmother. Well..thats what the online translator said anyway. Oh and Carriad is Welsh for Love, but i knew that anyway.
Chapter 17 - Troubled memories.
Todd blinked at Rogue.
"What are ya talkin' about Roguey?", he asked.
"Is anyone else here?", she said, looking around Todd to the inside of the house.
"No Sid's out Tutorin' Mathews an' the guys are out", he said, "whats wrong?. Ya look nasty yo".
"Oh gee thanks", said Rogue, crossing her arms, "look, can i come in?. I really need to talk to ya'll about something".
Todd narrowed his eyes, but then sighed. By the look on Rogue's face, this was important to her. He opened the door wider.
"Yeah, sure, come in", he said.
Rogue gave a small smile and walked in, almost automatically sitting on the chair that once belonged to her when she lived in the house.
"So.. what's so important that ya risked gettin' yelled at by the geek- squad ta come all the way over here for?", asked Todd, hopping onto the couch.
Rogue took a deep breath.
"Do ya'll remember when Wanda first arrived an' we were all at that mall?", she said.
"Yeah....", said Todd, narrowing his eyes in suspision, "what about it?".
"Well...a'h absorbed your abilities", said Rogue with a sigh.
"THAT i remember", said Todd with a chuckle, "ya gave me a migrane fer two days, yo".
"You gave me a bit more than that", said Rogue with a sigh, then judging by Todd's look she added, "a'h got a good deal of your memories too".
A look of worry went across Todd's face, then he sighed and look down.
"What memories?", he asked quietly.
"Most of them were from when ya'll were at the orphanage, which were bad in themselves but there was one that stood out more than any of them", said Rogue running a hand through her hair, "a pretty bad one".
"I've got alot of bad memories ta pick from Roguey", said Todd, crossing his arms, "ya gonna have ta be more specific".
"When...when ya'll still lived with your parents", said Rogue with a sigh, looking down, "when...your mother was...".
Todd's eyes closed.
"Oh, that one", he said painfully.
"A'h thought ya'll said that you momma died giving birth", said Rogue, crossing her arms.
Todd groaned and put his head in his hands.
"I did", he said quietly.
"Why lie about that?", asked Rogue.
"What do ya expect me ta say Rogue?", he said, narrowing his eyes, "that my mother died because she was beaten to a bloody pulp?. Look, this 'aint the sort of thing i want ta remember".
"I know ya'll don't like talkin' about your past Todd", said Rogue with a sigh, "but you've gotta help me here. A'hm not getting any sleep. It keeps coming back at me every night".
"So ya want me ta open up and tell ya everythin' just so ya can sleep better?", said Todd, crossing his arms, "you think YOU have trouble sleepin'?. You try livin' that! You were'nt the one that saw your own mother get...".
Todd sighed and sat down.
"Ah know this is hard", said Rogue, "but don't you think ya'll would feel better if ya got it off your chest?".
"I'd rather keep it inside thank you", said Todd with a frown, "it's just a bit...much ta handle ya know?".
"Hiding it away and pretendin' it didn't happen won't change a thing", said Rogue, "untill ya'll are willin' ta face it, your past is always gonna be there. You can't run from it forever, 'cause when ya'll least expect it, it'll catch up to you".
Todd said nothing. Rogue sighed and got up.
"A'h can't say a'h didn't try", she said as she walked to the door.
"Fine", said Todd, 'causing Rogue to look back, "i'll talk. What do ya need ta know?".
Rogue gave a small smile and walked back into the living room.
"Thanks Todd", she said, "all a'h need ta know is what happened after that. If a'h know, it might stop my nightmares".
"It won't stop mine", muttered Todd, "but....after mom went unconcious...well it must have been a few hours when, if luck would have it, my grandmother came ta visit. Nonna saw mamma lyin' on the floor and called an ambulance. But....by the time they got her to the hospital.....it was too late".
Todd sighed and hugged his chest.
"They said she had broken her lower back an' ripped open one of her lungs, had internal bleedin'. I...i remember her just lyin' there. She looked so small an' helpless. The doctors thought i was too young ta understand that she was...gone, but i understood alright", he closed his eyes, "i told my grandmother what had happened....i think she belived me, but she was the only one that ever did. My dad came over ta the hospital later that night. Nonna, she tried ta tell him ta leave me wit' her, that she'd take care'a me. But dad didn't want ta listen. Deep down, he knew that i'd seen what he had done".
Todd looked up and narrowed his eyes.
"He didn't take me home that night ya know?", he said with a sigh, "he took me straight ta Brooklyn an' put me in the orphanage. He just left me on the steps an' said he was 'makin' a clean sweep'. An' then it started ta snow....ma always loved the snow. I just stood there on those steps like an idiot fer hours. It got cold a'n dark. Luckily fer me one of the staff had walked out ta get somethin' and noticed me. They brought me in an' that was that. The rest is history".
Rogue blinked, taking all of this in. She thought SHE'D had it tough....
"A'hm sorry Todd", she said with a sigh.
"I don't need a pity party", said Todd coldly.
"Does...does Sid know the truth?", asked Rogue.
"No", said Todd with a sigh, "only me...an' now you".
"Well didn't ya'll ever TELL anyone?", said Rogue, "i mean..were talking about MURDER here".
"Oh yeah, right", said Todd, "someone's really gonna belive an orphaned kid they find on the streets. Whenever i tried ta say anythin', the staff always said i was makin' stuff up ta justify why i'd been abandoned".
"What about your grandmother?".
"I don't know where she is", said Todd with a sigh, "she was Italian, like my mother. She's probably back in Italy now. Look, Rogue, ya've just made me re-open a pretty deep an' nasty wound. So if ya don't mind...".
"Okay, a'h can take a hint, i'll go", said Rogue with a sigh, standing up, "you gonna be okay?".
"Hey, i'm resiliant", said Todd with a small smiled, "i'll be fine".
Rogue nodded and walked towards the door, opening it. Before she stepped outside, she turned to face Todd.
"If ya want my opinion", she said, "a'h think you're the toughest mutnat going ta have lived through all that an' not ended up an emotional wreck. A'h know a'h couldn't have done it".
"Yeah..thanks Rogue...i think".
Rogue smiled and nodded, closing the door and leaving the house. Todd sighed and sat back down.
Not long afterward, Sidney arrived home.
"Hi carriad", she said walking in with a smile.
"Hi", said Todd sadly.
"You know something?. That Duncan can be taught...sort of. He's still a jerk though", said Sidney, bustling around the room, putting books away and her jacket on the hook, "I mean, in the museum, i was showing him how Animal farm was linked to the Russian revolution and i had a conversation with the museum's pet cat. He kinda freaked out, but was okay after i explained i wasn't crazy. Sfter it, he asked me on a date though, so i had to hit him in the shoulder. I think he got the point".
She stoped dead and noticed Todd.
"Geez, you look bummbed, whats wrong?", she asked.
"I...i think it's time ya learned the truth about my past", said Todd with a sigh.
"You mean what you told me was a..a..lie?", asked Sidney, raising her eyebrow, "me, your best friend AND your girlfriend, and i don't know the truth about your past".
"Ya make it sound really bad", said Todd, "but can ya please just hear me out?".
"Fine", said Sidney with a sigh, "but ther had better be a good reason why i don't already know this".
By the time Todd had finsighed, Sidney was almost in tears.
"No wonder you never talked about it", said Sidney, "man thats...terrible".
"Yeah", said Todd with a sigh, "but Rogue was right. It made me feel better just...tellin' ya".
"Well...what about you grandmother?", asked Sidney, "i mean, i'm sure we could find her and...".
"I don't know where ta START lookin' fer her", said Todd with a sigh, then gave a small smile, "but she was one great lady. I mean, she used ta blurt out proverbs in Italian alot, but she wasn't you normal grandmother. I mean she rode a harley!".
"Thats...different", said Sidney, blinking, "but don't worry. We'll find her..somehow".
"I wish i could belive ya", said Todd with a sigh.
"You wanna know something that'll cheer you up?", said Sidney, "Duncan's parents call him 'Pumkin'".
"That helped a little", said Todd with a small smile.
There you go, please review and tell me what you think. Until next time....
By Todd fan
Disclaimer: "I can hear what women think".
Okay, just a note. I'm not SURE if Todd has an Italian heritidige or not. But his surname SOUNDS Italian. Tolensky. Yeah, i think it sounds Italian. And it's my fic, so there! I have had to do ALOT of research into Italian words, 'cause i have an obessive need for everything to be right, so Nonna is Grandmother. Well..thats what the online translator said anyway. Oh and Carriad is Welsh for Love, but i knew that anyway.
Chapter 17 - Troubled memories.
Todd blinked at Rogue.
"What are ya talkin' about Roguey?", he asked.
"Is anyone else here?", she said, looking around Todd to the inside of the house.
"No Sid's out Tutorin' Mathews an' the guys are out", he said, "whats wrong?. Ya look nasty yo".
"Oh gee thanks", said Rogue, crossing her arms, "look, can i come in?. I really need to talk to ya'll about something".
Todd narrowed his eyes, but then sighed. By the look on Rogue's face, this was important to her. He opened the door wider.
"Yeah, sure, come in", he said.
Rogue gave a small smile and walked in, almost automatically sitting on the chair that once belonged to her when she lived in the house.
"So.. what's so important that ya risked gettin' yelled at by the geek- squad ta come all the way over here for?", asked Todd, hopping onto the couch.
Rogue took a deep breath.
"Do ya'll remember when Wanda first arrived an' we were all at that mall?", she said.
"Yeah....", said Todd, narrowing his eyes in suspision, "what about it?".
"Well...a'h absorbed your abilities", said Rogue with a sigh.
"THAT i remember", said Todd with a chuckle, "ya gave me a migrane fer two days, yo".
"You gave me a bit more than that", said Rogue with a sigh, then judging by Todd's look she added, "a'h got a good deal of your memories too".
A look of worry went across Todd's face, then he sighed and look down.
"What memories?", he asked quietly.
"Most of them were from when ya'll were at the orphanage, which were bad in themselves but there was one that stood out more than any of them", said Rogue running a hand through her hair, "a pretty bad one".
"I've got alot of bad memories ta pick from Roguey", said Todd, crossing his arms, "ya gonna have ta be more specific".
"When...when ya'll still lived with your parents", said Rogue with a sigh, looking down, "when...your mother was...".
Todd's eyes closed.
"Oh, that one", he said painfully.
"A'h thought ya'll said that you momma died giving birth", said Rogue, crossing her arms.
Todd groaned and put his head in his hands.
"I did", he said quietly.
"Why lie about that?", asked Rogue.
"What do ya expect me ta say Rogue?", he said, narrowing his eyes, "that my mother died because she was beaten to a bloody pulp?. Look, this 'aint the sort of thing i want ta remember".
"I know ya'll don't like talkin' about your past Todd", said Rogue with a sigh, "but you've gotta help me here. A'hm not getting any sleep. It keeps coming back at me every night".
"So ya want me ta open up and tell ya everythin' just so ya can sleep better?", said Todd, crossing his arms, "you think YOU have trouble sleepin'?. You try livin' that! You were'nt the one that saw your own mother get...".
Todd sighed and sat down.
"Ah know this is hard", said Rogue, "but don't you think ya'll would feel better if ya got it off your chest?".
"I'd rather keep it inside thank you", said Todd with a frown, "it's just a bit...much ta handle ya know?".
"Hiding it away and pretendin' it didn't happen won't change a thing", said Rogue, "untill ya'll are willin' ta face it, your past is always gonna be there. You can't run from it forever, 'cause when ya'll least expect it, it'll catch up to you".
Todd said nothing. Rogue sighed and got up.
"A'h can't say a'h didn't try", she said as she walked to the door.
"Fine", said Todd, 'causing Rogue to look back, "i'll talk. What do ya need ta know?".
Rogue gave a small smile and walked back into the living room.
"Thanks Todd", she said, "all a'h need ta know is what happened after that. If a'h know, it might stop my nightmares".
"It won't stop mine", muttered Todd, "but....after mom went unconcious...well it must have been a few hours when, if luck would have it, my grandmother came ta visit. Nonna saw mamma lyin' on the floor and called an ambulance. But....by the time they got her to the hospital.....it was too late".
Todd sighed and hugged his chest.
"They said she had broken her lower back an' ripped open one of her lungs, had internal bleedin'. I...i remember her just lyin' there. She looked so small an' helpless. The doctors thought i was too young ta understand that she was...gone, but i understood alright", he closed his eyes, "i told my grandmother what had happened....i think she belived me, but she was the only one that ever did. My dad came over ta the hospital later that night. Nonna, she tried ta tell him ta leave me wit' her, that she'd take care'a me. But dad didn't want ta listen. Deep down, he knew that i'd seen what he had done".
Todd looked up and narrowed his eyes.
"He didn't take me home that night ya know?", he said with a sigh, "he took me straight ta Brooklyn an' put me in the orphanage. He just left me on the steps an' said he was 'makin' a clean sweep'. An' then it started ta snow....ma always loved the snow. I just stood there on those steps like an idiot fer hours. It got cold a'n dark. Luckily fer me one of the staff had walked out ta get somethin' and noticed me. They brought me in an' that was that. The rest is history".
Rogue blinked, taking all of this in. She thought SHE'D had it tough....
"A'hm sorry Todd", she said with a sigh.
"I don't need a pity party", said Todd coldly.
"Does...does Sid know the truth?", asked Rogue.
"No", said Todd with a sigh, "only me...an' now you".
"Well didn't ya'll ever TELL anyone?", said Rogue, "i mean..were talking about MURDER here".
"Oh yeah, right", said Todd, "someone's really gonna belive an orphaned kid they find on the streets. Whenever i tried ta say anythin', the staff always said i was makin' stuff up ta justify why i'd been abandoned".
"What about your grandmother?".
"I don't know where she is", said Todd with a sigh, "she was Italian, like my mother. She's probably back in Italy now. Look, Rogue, ya've just made me re-open a pretty deep an' nasty wound. So if ya don't mind...".
"Okay, a'h can take a hint, i'll go", said Rogue with a sigh, standing up, "you gonna be okay?".
"Hey, i'm resiliant", said Todd with a small smiled, "i'll be fine".
Rogue nodded and walked towards the door, opening it. Before she stepped outside, she turned to face Todd.
"If ya want my opinion", she said, "a'h think you're the toughest mutnat going ta have lived through all that an' not ended up an emotional wreck. A'h know a'h couldn't have done it".
"Yeah..thanks Rogue...i think".
Rogue smiled and nodded, closing the door and leaving the house. Todd sighed and sat back down.
Not long afterward, Sidney arrived home.
"Hi carriad", she said walking in with a smile.
"Hi", said Todd sadly.
"You know something?. That Duncan can be taught...sort of. He's still a jerk though", said Sidney, bustling around the room, putting books away and her jacket on the hook, "I mean, in the museum, i was showing him how Animal farm was linked to the Russian revolution and i had a conversation with the museum's pet cat. He kinda freaked out, but was okay after i explained i wasn't crazy. Sfter it, he asked me on a date though, so i had to hit him in the shoulder. I think he got the point".
She stoped dead and noticed Todd.
"Geez, you look bummbed, whats wrong?", she asked.
"I...i think it's time ya learned the truth about my past", said Todd with a sigh.
"You mean what you told me was a..a..lie?", asked Sidney, raising her eyebrow, "me, your best friend AND your girlfriend, and i don't know the truth about your past".
"Ya make it sound really bad", said Todd, "but can ya please just hear me out?".
"Fine", said Sidney with a sigh, "but ther had better be a good reason why i don't already know this".
By the time Todd had finsighed, Sidney was almost in tears.
"No wonder you never talked about it", said Sidney, "man thats...terrible".
"Yeah", said Todd with a sigh, "but Rogue was right. It made me feel better just...tellin' ya".
"Well...what about you grandmother?", asked Sidney, "i mean, i'm sure we could find her and...".
"I don't know where ta START lookin' fer her", said Todd with a sigh, then gave a small smile, "but she was one great lady. I mean, she used ta blurt out proverbs in Italian alot, but she wasn't you normal grandmother. I mean she rode a harley!".
"Thats...different", said Sidney, blinking, "but don't worry. We'll find her..somehow".
"I wish i could belive ya", said Todd with a sigh.
"You wanna know something that'll cheer you up?", said Sidney, "Duncan's parents call him 'Pumkin'".
"That helped a little", said Todd with a small smile.
There you go, please review and tell me what you think. Until next time....