Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to Evangelion, Studio Gainax animation does. Should the rightful owners and creator ask to remove this work, I'd do so in a nano-second. The following piece of writing is just a figment of my imagination! So please don't sue me, my family, my friends, my cat Milk, or even my neighbor's dog!
Author's Notes: Chapter 2 for you to enjoy, first of all I'd like to thank Rhuobhe26 and Weltall Elite for the support and pre-reading of the series. This chapter will be all emotional/WAFF like since it's about, you know, read the title! I'm new to writing WAFF stuff so don't be too harsh please? =P
First of all, I'm sorry for the delay. I finished this chapter as far back as August 31st =P Due to my cable being down and my PC being hacked and completely messed up, I'll have to wait until my older brother (THE DESTROYER) to go back to college before formatting and reinstalling everything on the PC and getting my cable back. God I swear, every time that fool comes back everything in the house starts breaking or not functioning properly…
I know I am letting Shinji getting happy too fast, but it was inspired by something I saw at the mall. A crying little kid totally transformed into another being when he saw his mother, from crying to smiling in 2 seconds, that's a record no? Any kid who hears that he/she is going to see his/her mother will be happy, and there's where I based my POVs on. I just believed that his mother is all Shinji needs to convince him to live =P Encouragement is really a powerful thing, it can supply a person with a temporary but strong boost of confidence. Although most of the time short lived, its potential is incredible.
The future is not set, there is no fate but what we make for ourselves~J. Conor
The truth is rarely
pure and never simple.
~Oscar Wilde
Neon Genesis Evangelion: Meaning of the Truth
Chapter 2: A Mother's Love
"This is an atrocity!"
"Outrageous! Unforgivable!"
The Seele council gathered within a dark conference room. One by one, the monoliths of the twelve council members appeared, and some of them began their complaints almost at the moment they appeared.
"Silence!" Seele 01 demanded solemnly, the others regained their composure and waited in silence for Seele 01 to explain the reason for this unscheduled meeting. "It would seen most likely that we have a bell on one of our people…"
"A bell that rings," Seele 02 offered.
"A spy is leaking the information to the enemy," Seele 07 agreed. "Ikari, at the moment he is the main suspect."
"Another delay is intolerable!" Seele 12 roared in anger, unable to keep his emotion to himself anymore. "I propose we strike at NERV as soon as possible and proceed with the plan before any more obstacles arise!"
"Do not be drawn to conclusion that easily," Seele 04 warned in a low tone. "Anger cannot solve all problems."
"We are all impatient with the lack of progress, and supplemented with the recent sabotages of our S2 engines and assembly plants…" Seele 02 trailed off.
"The delay of our promised time is a crime against humanity!"
"The delay is estimated to be a month and a half due to the fact that another engine is gone."
"As much as I'd like to blame Ikari, I know that he is too smart to stand against us with this approach," Seele 01 declared, silencing any further speeches from the council. "It couldn't be NERV, we have absolute control over the UN imbeciles."
"From a private source then? Is that what you are hinting?" Seele 09 questioned.
"An enemy of us without our knowledge is one to be respected," Seele 01 paused, "find out who this enemy is and destroy it. In the mean time, assign extra security troops to the assembly plants and the finished Eva units." One by one, the monoliths disappeared until only Seele 01 was left.
"Nothing will stand in our way, no matter if it's Ikari, the UN, or God."
************************
"You stupid ass! You scared the hell out of me!" Misato couldn't help but cry in joy and frustration as she sat alone in her car exploring the disk from Kaji. After dropping Shinji off at headquarters, she had parked her car in the HQ's parking lot to wait for the young man to complete his task. After skimming through the data about the Evangelions, Seele, NERV, 2nd Impact, everything the disk provided, a file marked "Katsuragi" caught her attention.
"Yo Katsuragi, how's it going?" Kaji grinned at her from the screen.
"Just my luck to see your loathsome face again!" she scowled, her fist crushed the Boa beer can she was holding, spilling the contents all over her lap. "Stupid piece of—"
Kaji chuckled nervously as if he didn't know what to say next. "Um," he began, "if you are reading this disk, then you already know I'm not dead, yet." His expression suddenly turned serious. "Katsuragi, I'm sorry I've hid the truth about myself from you ever since we reunited on Over the Rainbow. In order to protect everyone I care about, I had to fake my own death and keep my mouth shut. What I do in life is too risky, and if Seele were to know I still live, the safety of lots of people will be compromised." He said the last part with regret in his tone. "However, the reason I lived, was because of you."
Misato's eyes widened at the image before her, Kaji held out a dejected looking diamond ring and gave her a soft look.
"Since you might have overheard when Shinji was viewing his message, I will leave out the details." Kaji chuckled lightly.
"How's it possible that you can laugh at a time like this?" Misato groaned, but she gazed lovingly on the handsome man on the monitor.
"I promised you that when I see you again, I will say the words I couldn't say years ago." Kaji returned the ring to his pocket. "I work for the United Nations Global Security Council, Katsuragi. Even Seele doesn't know its existence, that's why I had to be so careful. I want to make a difference in my life, and I know how the 2nd Impact affected everyone, I… won't let a similar event happen again." His hand went into another pocket and produced a small red box.
"Misato…" he began, for the first time in his life, he was nervous. "I might not be alive the next day, or even the next hour. So I am going to say it now…"
"Kaji…"
"Katsuragi Misato, I've always loved you, my feeling never swayed to another woman even after we broke up years ago." Kaji took a deep breath to gather his courage, even though this was only a communiqué. He opened the small box and revealed another diamond ring, this time it was not deformed. Kaji knelt on one knee in front of the screen.
"When I see you again…" Kaji gave her a sad smile, then the screen went blank. Meanwhile, the purple haired woman was sobbing quietly within the dark confines of her car.
"Don't go…"
***************************
This warmth inside me… what's this feeling?
Shinji Ikari, pilot of the Evangelion Unit 01, sat within the dark confines of the entry plug. He could feel the synchronization between his mind and another when Maya began the link up. He took a breath from the LCL is his surrounding, thinking about how a month ago he dreaded getting within the entry plug.
"Your mother is Evangelion 01, her soul is inside that body." Kaji's words echoed in his mind. At first he was terrified when he heard what Kaji told him.
Mother…
Shinji closed his eyes and relaxed, "That would explain why I always felt safe and warm in this plug, even though this was the cause of my pain…" he shed a tear, "With pain in life also comes with joy in life." He whispered and awarded himself a smile.
"Just talk." Kaji had said with a smile when he explained everything about the Eva unit to the boy.
"Mother…" Shinji felt strange talking when it was obvious that no one else was in the plug, but he went on anyways.
"Confess your feelings, your past, and your life Shinji," Shinji quietly repeated Kaji's words. All his life, Shinji had been alone. When his father abandoned him, he lived with his teacher. It was a quiet, and painful life knowing that he was abandoned and no one loves him. "I've been alone all my life… why would anyone care now?" the sudden outburst surprised even himself. "That bastard I called father abandoned me, then sent for me because he has a use for me. He doesn't even consider me to be his son! I tried to prove myself worthy for him to notice, but in the end, he used MY hands to hurt my best friend…" How strange it was, Shinji was opening himself to no one except the LCL within the entry plug. Maya had agreed to give him some privacy and had shut off all monitors to the entry plug of Unit 01.
With his hot tears mixing in with the LCL, Shinji went on. "I thought I've found what could be called happiness in this cursed city, but any joy I've found was lost in all the pain… I—I had lost all hope until the disk came to me, mother… I don't—I don't know what to do anymore." Tears flowing freely, Shinji admitted his deepest feelings. In moments he was crying openly and loudly. Strange as it was, the boy suddenly felt that a terrible burden had been lifted from his shoulders. A burden he has been bearing for a long time.
"'The past is not a burden, but an experience,'" Shinji smiled through his tears, "I finally understand the meaning of that now…" he took a deep breath from the LCL and continued, "mother, please just let me see you one last time…" his breathing came in ragged gasps, "Let me see you just one last time… Let me know that—there once was a person who loved me unconditionally. Just one last time…" he sobbed, "just for once in my life, please…" the boy was shaking violently now, he buried his head between his knees and pleaded as if his very life depended on it. "Please…" he repeated, but there was nothing but the blood-liked LCL and a crying teenager within the entry plug.
Kaji lied, everyone lied, no one cares for you Shinji Ikari, and yet you talk about love! A familiar voice in his head sneered, trying to rip open the fragile human being like a predator hunting a prey. Every one of them, Misato, Asuka, your mother and father, Kaji, EVERYONE betrayed and lied to you! The voice paused as if to allow Shinji sometime to think about the accusation. The truth hurts, doesn't it Shinji?
Shinji had lost, the boy could feel it himself. It was a hopeless battle against impossible odds. The voice in his head returned even now to haunt his life, convincing him that he was worthless and not even worthy of trust, love, and friendship.
"I—" words failed Shinji, he couldn't even state a reply to the voice.
Why do you fight fate then? It just causes you more pain. You are destined to be a worthless being, always alone and live with despair, this is the truth.
"No—"
You are so pathetic, you should just die.
Death is the only release for you.Die…
"Death…" Do I want to die?" the defeated Shinji muttered. Then he felt it, a strange but warming presence, he could feel it next to him, touching him…
If only the exhausted Maya was awake, she had fallen asleep a few minutes after sending Shinji to Eva 01. The shriek that came from the Evangelion cage was so loud that anyone within headquarters could hear it.
"She" shrieked with a fury unmatched by even the times she went berserk, the mouth restraint of the massive humanoid life form shattered in an instant when the beast released a cry of fury.
"Remember Shinji, the fate of humankind is on your hands." Kaji had once said to him when he tried to encourage the uncertain young pilot and gave him some insight to find his own reasons of piloting the Evangelion.
"If the fate of others rests in my hands… Can't I shape my own fate too?"
It's impossible.
"What you said was false," Shinji replied, surprised at the strength of his own voice. A warm presence slowly slipped into him as if to encourage him. "Nothing is set in life, I can change my fate with my own hands." The voice made no reply, and Shinji felt even more confident. "Pain is a part of life, just like happiness is a part of life. I can learn to accept the pain in life as well as obtaining happiness. I can also learn to have others place their trust on me…"
Do you want death then?
"No! I want to live!" Shinji blinked in surprise, during his declaration he felt something soft touched his face. He spun around and found himself staring into the loving smile of his—
"Mother?" his mother was there, he could see and feel it as well, but she was transparent, almost like a specter.
"You are never alone my son, I am with you now and always." Ikari Yui smiled, gently caressing her son's face with a soft, transparent hand. Shinji smiled in return and attempted to hold her hand.
"Are you real? Mother is that really you?" Shinji's eyes wore a shocked expression, when he found his touch went straight through his mother's hand, he couldn't even touch her at all.
"I'm real Shinji," she spoke in a low volume with a soft voice, "my soul resides in Evangelion Unit 01, and what you are seeing now is my very soul. The light of all living things."
"Your— soul?" Shinji blinked in surprise.
"All my heart and soul," Yui smiled, she held Shinji in a loving embrace. Although spirit and flesh couldn't contact, emotion could. A warmth Shinji never experienced before flowed through his very essence, awakening the inner strength that was taken away from him since his childhood.
The feeling was the unconditional love of a mother for her child.
"Mother…" Shinji cried, this time in joy instead of sorrow and despair. "Why did you leave me?"
Yui wore an expression of regret and her smile disappeared. "I'm sorry I have to leave you behind… it's a fate we must all endure."
"What you mean by that?"
"The fate unsealed on the same day Azazel was discovered in the Antarctic and lead to the destruction of three billion people," she sighed sadly. "In mankind's ignorance, they thought they had discovered the father of all men on Earth. They never expected that they had unsealed a great evil instead."
"I-I thought Adam was the cause of the 2nd Impact…" Shinji asked in confusion, "the photo… the giant…"
"Is not Adam, not an angel, but the source of all evil… I discovered that fact myself ever since that fateful day I was absorbed into Unit 01, mankind's creation and duplication of Azazel."
"Azazel…?"
"The angel who taught men to fashion swords and shields and taught women finery and the art of beautifying the eyelids. The Lord of Hell, seducer of mankind, source of all evil, a fallen angel, the fallen angel, Satan." She broke the embrace and stared into Shinji's eyes. "We live in hard times, Shinji. I am sorry I could not bear this burden for you and the other children…"
"Then what's the point of the war?"
"A test for mankind or punishment."
"I don't know what to do anymore…" at a complete loss of words, Shinji looked away. "All the time I've been fighting the angels… it's pointless."
"No it's not pointless. They are the creation of Azazel, they sought after the destruction of mankind."
"Kaoru…" Shinji trailed off.
"He was different, he was captured and raised by Seele. A creation of evil doesn't mean it is evil. Yes he was raised in the dark minds of the Seele organization, but besides the dark side of human beings, your friend also saw the bright side of it as well." Yui smiled and held her son's head to her gaze. "He was brave and honorable, he sacrificed himself for all mankind."
"I don't understand any of this…"
"No one does."
"What am I supposed to do then mother? What now?"
Yui again held her son in an embrace. "Live my darling, live and enjoy life…" In the arms of his mother, Shinji closed his eyes and let himself into the warmth of a mother's love.
***************************
NERV Commander Gendo Ikari was not a happy man, the same night he decided to stay late at headquarters was the night that unexpected events happened. Surprise was a feeling he hadn't felt for a long time.
Her disappearance.
Gendo sprinted along the long, dark corridor of the headquarters complex, he knew the shriek came from Unit 01. The commander had heard the same horrible sound repeatedly over the year and the war with the angels.
It couldn't be!
He reached the entrance to the Evangelion cages and opened the door; it wasn't according to the scenario.
The cold-hearted man found himself facing his son, Shinji Ikari. The boy looked at him with a blank-expression, no, that look wasn't blank. It was something else, the 15 years old boy gave him a look of…
Pity.
"What do you think you are doing here, Third Child?" Gendo questioned harshly when he had regained his breath from the sprint. Their eyes met, brown and azure. For a moment, neither of them moved, talked, or breathed. They just stared into each other's eyes. Shinji faltered and tried to speak, but words failed him as fear took over his body once again.
"Fat—father—I—"
"You have no business here, leave."
"I was—doing something… I—" Shinji unconsciously began clenching and unclenching his fist as he was overwhelmed by the cold expression on his father's face.
"LCL?" Gendo noticed a drop of the yellow liquid that dripped from the young boy's hair and frowned. "You are stepping way out of your line, Third Child. You know the consequences of unauthorized activation." Shinji remained speechless, paralyzed with fear. "Well? Explain yourself, Pilot Ikari. What are you doing here?" Shinji's new found confidence within the Eva was diminished in a matter of seconds under his father's withering attacks.
"I—" Shinji turned and ran toward the exit of the hanger bay. The commander simply shook his head at the sight of the fleeing boy.
"Running away again?"
THAT stopped the younger Ikari cold, the boy turned around with both his hands in tight fists. Although still a bit shaky, Shinji answered with evident strength n his voice.
"I swore to mother I won't run away from problems in life ever again…" then he turned and departed.
"Pilot, you will stop and answer my question, do you understand?" Gendo was angry; tonight was too mysterious. When the boy didn't stop he moved after him in an attempt to stop the boy.
Instead he found the door slid shut in front of his face. In anger, he pressed the nearby button to try to open it, and a mechanical sound informed him of the state of the door.
"Yes! That'll show that bastard!" Misato roared in triumph in the command bridge. She immediately regretted it as Maya awoke from her sleep. Well, no one could blame her, slamming a door in front of THE commander's face was the dream of a lifetime of most NERV employee.
Defeated, as much as he hated to admit it, Commander Ikari turned to face the huge form of Eva 01.
"Soon my love, we'll be reunited" he whispered, he ran his hand up his sleeves and felt the implant on his left wrist, the implant of the embryo of Adam, the first angel. "Soon…"
***************************
Former JSDF General Jinnai Yamato, also one of the three UN Generals of the Armies, strode through the long corridors of the underground facility of the UN's Global Security Council (GSC). It wasn't the saluting of the hall guards every five steps but the current situation that was annoying him. The two entrance guards, dressed in a royal blue tunic with a white armored vest over a similarly blue jumpsuit, white helmets with shaded visors, and a mean looking weapon saluted smartly as the general entered.
"You are late, little brother," UN Generals of the Armies Taiku and Sagumi Yamato greeted their younger sibling as he entered into the conference room. Like it was a joke, the three brothers had landed a spot on the UN military and became the three commanding officers of the UN army. Jinnai threw a nod to the two entrance guards before replying.
"My flight was delayed in Narita, stupid politicians wanted me to stay to squeeze every ounce of power for their own use!" the youngest of the three men scowled and pounded his fist on a table. "Politicians, such a disgrace to man."
"Excuse me, gentlemen," the chairman of the council coughed to get the three men's attention. Embarrassed, they returned to their designated spot in the great conference hall.
"The situation is a total disaster," Sagumi whispered before they sat down on their seats. "A total disaster."
"A total disaster it is," Director Enrique Malloy announced. The huge man towered above the small box in the center of the room by at least a meter. At 7 feet tall, the well-built and intelligent European-origin director of the UN GSC was an intimidating man. They did say looks could be deceiving, the huge man was an environmental biologist before joining the UN and obtaining this position as the director of the most secretive organization on the face of the planet. "Our sources indicated that Seele has just finished four of the nine Evangelion units. Despite our best efforts, the delay in the completion of the final five is only a month at best." Malloy looked to his advisor after he finished his announcement.
"In addition to that, external sources reported NERV HQ is completely silent, and we all know that Ikari is not a man of inactivity, he's lurking within that office of his, planning his whatever scenario."
"Gendo in his office, all's wrong with the world." Another man emerged from the entrance, the two guards on either side snapped to attention as he passed. "We now know for sure the beings are not angels." Kaji grinned, resting his elbow on a counter. The council was already used to his insubordination.
Anticipating the advisor's riposte, Jinnai spoke. "Yes, it's that important for Commander Kaji to interrupt, Advisor Jackson." The advisor shrunk in embarrassment.
Politicians… Jinnai thought angrily. It's a pity Malloy hasn't got rid of that fool yet.
"This is a UN conference hall, not a court room." The director reminded the others as he prepared for another speech. "According to our good agent there," he nodded at Kaji, who smiled in reply, "the current state of the Evangelion pilots within Tokyo-3 is messy, there are mental problems the bastard Gendo infected upon those poor kids." Malloy paused to let the last sentence sank into the council's minds. "Also, Seele is getting more desperate. Their extra security, and all personal guards from the 12 monoliths, made any further attempts on sabotage operations very risky. We also think that they MAY strike at NERV using force any time to achieve their goals." Sounds of shock and surprise revolved around the council. "BUT," Malloy yelled through the voices, "they won't strike until all nine of the Mass Production Evangelion Units are completed, and that gives us at least a month." He turned to the three generals. "I suppose a month's worth of time will allow you three to plan?"
The words of an honorable man! Jinnai thought as he and his brothers stood up tall and proud.
"Are you suggesting military actions?" Sagumi asked.
"Military actions against Eva units are futile!" one of the council members spoke up, already complaining before the director even announced his decision. Murmurs of agreement echoed throughout the conference room. "WE all have seen what an angel did do the 4th Army during the first attack on Tokyo 3! It was disastrous! Facing Evangelions is out of the question!"
"Worrying about money again?" Jinnai sneered angrily and stared venoms at the source of the outburst. The young man seemed to shrink smaller under the general's dagger glare.
"I was simply stating—"
"What use do we have of money when there's no world left for them to be spent?"
"ENOUGH!" Malloy boomed, bringing silence to the conference room once more. "This is not a court room or some opera show. I demand respect for authorities here." The huge man stared everyone back to their seats before continuing. "If Seele really is planning to attack NERV by force, I'm simply stating that a preliminary deployment of assets can prove invaluable to counter that threat. For the Seele Evangelions however… I'm sure the JA Project's director will be able to deliver the ordered fusion engines in time to the UN Science and Research Department?" A Japanese man in his mid forties stood up from his seat, the director of the failed Jet Alone project announced proudly.
"Yes sir, we won't fail!"
"Director… Are you planning to use THOSE metal junks the SR department geeks are so proud of…" Taiku seemed to be both excited and shocked at the same moment.
"What else would I be referring to?"
"With all due respect, director." The advisor interrupted. "The AS and the fusion engines have NEVER been tested, it is illogical to use them this quickly!"
"And letting those nine monsters killing those poor kids is logical?" the advisor shook his head in silent shame. Another council member defended him.
"If you put into accounts the amount of money the whole Armored Soldier Project costs, and their rapid deployment, it seems illogical to waste everything just to save some kids." The man sighed in frustration. "Heroes or not, kids or not, lots of lives could be saved with those money going to food distribution."
"You are forgetting something," the advisor countered, to everyone's surprise. "General Jinnai Yamato is right, what use do we have of money if the world doesn't even exist?"
Malloy grunted in disgust and turned back to the generals. "Besides, Seele may even convince their puppets in the JSDF to deploy the Trident. In that worst case scenario, the AS will have a nice field test no?" Malloy smiled in triumph and turned back to the three generals and raised an eyebrow.
"The Trident can be a problem," Jinnai exclaimed.
"Yes… We all know about the bloody incident with the seizure of the Trident Project, the development team of the JSDF was slaughtered and the pilots brainwashed by Seele…" Taiku added. Both turned to their eldest brother for the next word.
"Timing may be a little tight, sir. But we are definitely able to deploy." Sagumi said with full confidence and was awarded with mutters of compliments around the conference room.
"Good," Malloy looked around at the assembled people, "if there are no more objections, dismissed!"
One by one, the council departed until only Agent Kaji and Director Malloy were left.
"Hard to believe that for once in my life time I could do something about the tyranny of the Seele Council." Malloy chuckled with his back on the Japanese man.
"There has to be some gains from hiding underground for so long and remained idle while the world is being ravaged over," Kaji sighed. "Such irony."
"How long has it been then? Twelve years? Hiding in a god forsaken underground hole for over a decade? I swore a death oath against Seele ever since their reign of terror emerged after the Second Impact, with the UN Council controlled by force, it was hard to do anything at all."
"Just a matter of time now, Enrique." Kaji assured the other man softly. "Only time will tell what will happen next…"
***************************
Shinji pulled a chair by the bed and sat down quietly, he looked at the girl lying on the bed sadly.
"Asuka, don't you want to live?" he whispered, he attempted to cupped one of her hands with his own. His hands hover just a mere centimeter away from the girl's hand when realization hit Shinji.
What am I doing?
The fiery German redhead looked so peaceful in her sleep, an expression that had never shown on her face before when she was awake. Shinji couldn't help but admired her beauty and innocence.
You never know anything until you try.
His mother's words rang inside his head, an encouragement to not to run away at the very first signs of problems and obstacles. Slowly and shakily, Shinji's hands found themselves in contact with the warm flesh of another human being. Shinji let the warmth sank in for a few seconds, savoring the experience he had never felt before, the warmth of another. The smiling face of shinji's mother sudden flashed in his mind, and Shinji closed his eyes to deal with the overwhelming wave of new found emotion.
He'd found love, a mother's unconditional love.
All his life, all he ever desired was to be loved and cared for, and now he'd finally succeeded.
Shinji had informed Misato of his decision to stay with the catatonic girl, she wasn't too happy about it since he was losing his sleep for it, but another part of her was glad that he had the will to stay with the poor girl. Misato, on the other hand, fell asleep after Shinji had taken a few paces.
"Asuka," he whispered again as he held her hand tightly, and finally giving in to exhaustion.
Inside the mind of Asuka Langley Sohryu, there was neither peace nor quiet nor sleep. She had been crying alone ever since her younger self abandoned her.
She was alone.
"No one—even—cares—enough… to notice me…" she said in a barely audible tone, she had ran out of tears long ago, and her throat was dried with the self-accusation, pity, and crying.
"I want to—die."
"Do you?" a person, no, a teenage girl, stepped out of the darkness and kneeled before the despair-filled Asuka. "Life is full of pain, and yet full of joy."
"Lies…" Asuka answered coldly, a voice deprived of hope. "Life for me is always pain."
"You won't find happiness in life if you do not open up, and the inner you already informed you that you won't even open up to yourself, how could you ever hope to find or see happiness?" the girl asked, her voice was soft and gentle. Asuka looked up for the first time and began to analyze the mysterious person. Her hair was blonde, platinum blonde. Her skin was as pale as the white shirt she was wearing. She ignored all that and gazed into her eyes.
They were red.
"Just what I need…" Asuka whispered, bringing her defenses up again. "Another wondergirl…" she said accusingly, but her strength was already long gone. Her tone was lifeless.
The girl didn't seem to mind the insult one bit, but smiled in return. Asuka stared in shock as the "wondergirl" kissed her on the forehead and smiled gently at her.
"Forgot to introduce myself," she released a light laugh, "I am the being you have known as the 15th angel, and Arael's what you humans thought I am." THAT got a reaction from Asuka.
"Have you come here to gloat then?" Asuka spat venom at the girl. "Victor gloating over the loser? Came here to violate my mind again like you did? Make me suffer even more?" the smiled faded from the pale girl.
"I won't lie to you Asuka," The being called Arael sighed, "I did force open the barriers of your mind, but please understand I am trying to help."
"Help—" a touch to Asuka's lips silenced her.
"Let me finish. Even before my defeat, I already knew what my creator planned for us, the beings that attacked you. My creator wished us to completely destroy your kind." She smiled sadly. "Luckily, the 17th had brought me out of the darkness, Asuka. He showed me the beauty of humankind, and over time my taught hatred diminished until I was almost in love with and envious of your people."
"Then why…?" Asuka sobbed, "why did you do that to me? Why are you here?"
"I'm here because of my redemption," again the smile calmed the anger Asuka was feeling. "I did not follow my creator's plan to use me as one of his puppets to destroy mankind. And my reward was a second chance." She caressed Asuka's crimson hair. "I could be called a real angel now, I guess," she chuckled. "I looked into your mind because I wanted to understand, Asuka. Forgive me if I acted a little too desperate… For I knew that I was going to die."
Before Asuka could mouth a reply, the angel silenced her again. "Why am I here you ask? I am here because I care, you humans have such fragile, yet beautiful lives…" Asuka's eyes widened in surprise, she looked at the angel for the first time in tears. "I'm here to help, to show that people do care for you, believe it or not." She embraced the red head and touched her forehead with her own. "Ever since you've closed yourself to the world, you have been doing everything you could to push people away. Most of the time you wanted people to actually hate you so they will leave you alone. Pretending hurts right?" The German girl nodded. "Open your mind, Asuka. Open yourself up to me, open yourself to others, most important of all, open up to yourself…"
Suddenly, Asuka was no longer in the darkness she wept in, she was floating in mid-air looking down at a newborn baby being held by a woman. A tall and handsome man stood by her, both were laughing joyfully.
"Is… is that?" words failed Asuka, she turned to face the angel in confusion.
"That's you." The blond girl smiled. "Your life is not just pain you know?" the scene next changed to a mansion, a young Asuka was walking her first steps. Asuka smiled for the first time in months, her mother was kneeling close to her, prepared to catch her in case she fell. Her father was on the other side of the hallway, waiting and watching his daughter in joy.
"Mama, papa…" Asuka cried, and unconsciously buried her face in the embrace of the blond girl.
"There's more," the angel whispered softly into Asuka's ears. The mansion disappeared and was replaced the scene where Shinji almost kissed her in her sleep.
"Stupid?" Asuka whispered, the girl next to her laughed softly.
"Yes, you see, 'stupid' your idiot does care for you," Asuka continued watching the scene. "I thought you were awake during that moment?" the girl teased.
Asuka blushed and didn't' say anything for a while. "What if I was…?" she smiled, but a sudden thought hit her and she recoiled. "No! I hate him! He hates me! I lost him over to Wondergirl!" The world changed into the scene at the train station, a month after Shinji was brought back from Eva 01.
"Is this jealousy then?" Asuka shook her head violently, but the memory was all too fresh.
"After all… I lost to the kinds of you," she heard herself said from the other side of the platform, the "Asuka" was staring with contempt at the sight of Shinji joking light heartedly with Rei.
"But he cares for you."
The world kept on changing around them through the times when Shinji had saved Asuka from the volcano, fun times(arguments) with Hikari and the three stooges, fights with Toji, all the other happy moments in her life. "Why are you showing me this?" she asked in a low tone.
"To help you," the angel answered, but sighed in defeat afterwards, "but I know for a fact that I cannot fully convinced you, I have one more task to do. It's short yes, but you have five minutes with your mother." She turned and smiled at Asuka. "Her soul is within Eva Unit 02 all this time and—" Asuka's reply cut her off.
"Mama… why would I want to talk to her?" she snapped at the angel, who was completely surprised at the reply from the German girl. "She is inside Unit 02…?"
"Yes, just like Shinji's mother is inside Unit 01."
Asuka took a moment to compose herself, than laughed harshly while choking back tears. "You bitch! Why the hell you think I would want to talk with HER? She doesn't care about me! In her eyes I am replaced by a doll!" she screamed, streams of tears turned into a cascading river as she spoke.
"But she does care…"
"You don't know shit…" Asuka spat, "you've seen how Unit 01 repeatedly went berserk to protect idiot's life? Misato told me all about it, how it activated itself during the 3rd angel's attack to save Shinji from falling debris…" her words grew silent as she braced for what she was going to say next. "Then WHY didn't it even do anything to protect me?" she suddenly found herself staring at a too familiar image of the Germany NERV branch. A young Asuka was running on one of the crisscrossed catwalks surrounding Evangelion Unit 02. A terrorist bombing had rocked the entire complex violently, causing one of the catwalks to collapse.
The one the young Asuka was on.
The small German girl fell and sunk into the purple liquid covering the lower portion of the Eva unit, the red biomechanical robot didn't even move a finger to attempt to save the girl, her daughter.
"If mama really cares, then why didn't she save me back then?" Asuka cried. If it weren't for Kaji discovering her, she would have died that day. "Why didn't she help me during the battle underwater? Why didn't she protect me during the battle with the black Eva? WHY did she REJECTS me as her pilot? WHY didn't she even let me sync with her with a high ratio? Does she really hate me enough to reject her own…" the defeated German girl trailed off and she took a breath to try to calm herself but failing miserably as tears overcame her. "…daughter…" the angel found herself at a loss of words over the confessions of the redhead, she placed both hands on the German girl's cheek to look at her into the eyes.
"Asuka," the blond angel said gently, "everyone has their own problems, and your mother is just like everyone else. But her soul was crushed after seeing for herself how she treated you after the first and failed synchronization of Unit 02, and the rejection of your father over you and her was still fresh in her mind. She, like you, was in a state of depression and her soul withdrew into a shell and into isolation. She does care for you, you are her daughter, and your state right now is what motivated her to break through the shell she was in to try and get to you."
Asuka was silent as she listened, tears still flowed down her cheeks unconsciously but slowly stopped.
"Really…?" Asuka's voice came as a whisper, but her companion heard her and gave her a reassuring smile.
"Me? Lying? Not in a thousand life times." The angel smiled. "Asuka, it's up to you. I'll do whatever is necessary to help you and I don't expect to be thanked, but—"
"You're a strange one," Asuka commented, "but thank you for caring for me." She cried, this time in tears of joy. Her expression suddenly changed to shock. "Can you really—"
"I'll let you see your mother?" the blond girl asked, tears streaming down her face as well. "I can extract her soul from Unit 02 to your mind for just five minutes… Treasure this moment and remember—" the girl disappeared before she could finish her sentence.
"Yes I will, I'll remember you now and always." Asuka understood what she was going to say. Suddenly, a transparent hand caressed her face gently and pulled her into an embrace. The German girl looked at that direction in surprise and found herself staring at a woman who looked like an older version of herself, except that her hair was brown.
"Mama…" Asuka broke down and embraced her mother tightly. Kyoto smiled and couldn't help but cry with her daughter as well.
"Shh… It's okay, Asuka my darling…" she repeated as she calmed the girl. "It's okay, you will never be alone again…"
There in the depths of Asuka's mind, the mother and daughter hugged each other for a period that seemed like eons as they comforted, apologized, and talked to each other. Reluctantly, Kyoto broke the embrace and brushed her daughter's hair gently with her hand. "I'm sorry about everything Asuka… Please understand."
"Mama…"
"You've grown up my darling, but you are still and forever my child." Kyoto said softly. "I cannot stay for long…"
"Don't leave me mama…"
"I'm not leaving you, my very soul is within Unit 02. We'll see each other again. Before I go, I still have to ask you a question." Asuka gave her mother a puzzled look.
"Do you want to live?" a voice came out of no where, it was the voice of a girl.
"Arael," Asuka smiled at the voice. She stood up straight and tall with her mother.
"I want to live!" she yelled with all her heart, Kyoto only smiled at her daughter and nodded. An image of a sleeping teenage boy appeared above them.
"Go back then Asuka," Kyoto whispered in her ears. "Go back, live your life, go back to him…"
Asuka slowly opened her eyes, but immediately regretted it when her unadjusted eyes met sunlight. She blinked a few times to let her eyes readjust to her surroundings before she fully came to senses.
Something… Something warm is touching my hand.
She turned weakly and found her face mere inches away from her roommate, Shinji Ikari, pilot of Evangelion Unit 01, her savior a couple of times, her…
Shinji awoke suddenly as if he sensed Asuka's new hopes on life. In a similar reaction, he opened his eyes too quickly and found himself wiping his eyes to adjust to the light. "Asuka?"
"Shin—Shinji," Asuka gave him a small smile. "What are you doing here?" her voice was weak and dried having not talked for weeks. She frowned slightly as realization hit her; HE was holding HER hand. Her first instinct was to yell and slap the boy with all the strength she could muster, but the warmth…
Comfortable…
Shinji just smiled at her and gave her hand a gentle squeeze. "What are you, stupid? I am waiting here for you to come back to life."
"Shinji has finally become a vertebrate… You can grow a spine after all…" the German girl whispered softly, she tried to lift her hands but only partially succeeded. Her arms were shaking in mid-air. Shinji seemed to understand what she was doing and helped her to move into a sitting position.
"Just because I let you hold my hand, that doesn't mean I give you permission to touch anywhere else!" Asuka growled, looking at the direction where Shinji's hand was touching her shoulder when he helped her up.
"I—I'm sorry…" the boy quickly withdrew his hands, but not before the German girl spoke again.
"But I never told you to let go, did I?" Asuka smiled, for the first time in what seemed like eons, she felt a small bit of joy. That was enough for her.
Author's Notes: Here's chapter 2, finished ahead of schedule since school's starting and I need full concentration to get through the first month. I hope you guys enjoy this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it and have a good time.
Updated Notes:
Finally finished the reworked version of the second chapter, muchas gracias to Weltall Elite for his help. New timetable included at the bottom.
The third chapter will take a while, I mean a while as in a month or two. Sophmore year in highschool can be a pain in the ass especially with AP and honors classes.
Like I said before, Shinji and Asuka only needs love to bring out their inner strength and discover themselves and the will to live. I sure hope I didn't write anyone OOC here =)
More coming up next in MOTT Chapter 3, The Politician and the Warrior!
The author would like to thank Rhuobhe26 for pre-reading, although this time it took so llllllllloooooooonnnnnnnnnggggggggggg j/k =)
The author would also like to thank Weltall Elite, one of the dark lords of the DS people. Fear him because his red correction mark can make your writing seems like an English essay's worst nightmare!
New timeline (No I won't write any faster, blame it on school)
Prologue: The Lone Crusade = COMPLETED
Chapter 1: A Spark of Hope = COMPLETED
Chapter 2: A Mother's Love = COMPLETED
Chapter 3: The Politician and the Warrior = ETA December, 20% completed.
Chapter 4: Decision of Heroes/Pilot it One Last Time = ETA February
Chapter 5: Not According o the Scenario/Origin of Evil = ETA March
Chapter 6: Redemption and Salvation = ETA April
Epilogue: One Last Finale: Rejoice of Heroes and Final Confrontation = ETA May
Omake (extra):
The JSDF officer holstered his pistol a he entered the hall way of destruction, bullet holes and flaming wreckage were everywhere. In front of him stood several other soldiers, looking down at the dead NERV guards' bodies and laughing.
"Owned," the officer sneered.
"OMFG u ch33t0rs!!!" one of the "dead" guards roared angrily.
"Stupid teammates!" another added.
"Crappy map!" the guard whose head was impaled by a piece of metal complained.
"Lag…" the last guard said weakly.