WHAM!
WHAM!
WHAM!
WHAM!
WHAM!
WHAM!
WHAM!
WHAM!
WHAM!
WHAM!
WHAM!
Elena decided that the football team definitely did not like her.
She had, after all, kicked their butts yesterday. Macho guys tended to resent it when skinny nerd girls could beat them up. So during the five minutes between classes, they decided to run her over in the hall.
In what seemed like an hour, Clark, Pete, and Chloe were standing over her.
"Are you okay?" Pete asked.
Elena blinked at him. "Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries."
"That's not very nice," Chloe said. She knelt down by Elena. "Can you move?"
Elena waved her away. "It's just a flesh wound!"
Chloe rolled her eyes. "Stop quoting Monty Python. Seriously, can you move?"
Elena experimentally twitched. "Ow. Yes. I don't think I'm seriously hurt."
Chloe nodded. "Those stupid football boys." She stood up. "Clark, you and Pete get Elena to the nurse's office. I'm going to go find someone in authority."
Elena whimpered. "I want to go home."
The nurse stuck a thermometer in her mouth. "Shut up and lie down."
"I on't AVE a eever," Elena protested. "I ust oont oo oh OME. I ed urts."
The nurse sighed. "Fine." She looked up Elena's file and dialed her phone number. "Honey, how do you pronounce your name?"
Elena spat out the thermometer. "Exactly how it's spelled."
The nurse raised an eyebrow. "Mm-hmm. Hello, Mrs., um, Mixle-picks? Sorry. Mr. Schuster. Can I talk to Elena's mother? Legal guardian, I see. Elena has been injured and she needs you to pick her up. Okay, thank you." She hung up. "Elena, exactly what are your living arrangements?"
Elena considered. "Well, we've got a fridge and an oven and everything, and I've got my own computer."
The nurse sighed. "I mean…who exactly do you live with?"
"Joe and Jerry," Elena said. "My mom said she couldn't handle the responsibility of having a kid, so she's off somewhere in the Marvel universe. My dad is imprisoned in the fifth dimension. So my uncles take care of me."
The nurse paused, not sure how to bring up a delicate subject. "Elena, are your uncles…related?"
Elena swung her legs off of the cot, wincing. "Nope. Why?"
The nurse frowned. "Have you noticed anything, er, odd about them?"
"Besides the fact that they use up a lot of caramel sauce when they sleep together, no." Elena snuggled into her jacket. "I think Joe has a caramel fetish."
"Oh." The nurse blushed. "Er…well…"
"Who is picking me up and when?" Elena asked.
The nurse fled.
Elena stood in the middle of the room, her jacket hanging off of her. "What?"