"Freshmen"
Original lyrics by Brian Vander Ark, copyright 1996
Spoof lyrics by Jade and Vince, not copyrighted, but please don't steal them.

When I was young, I saw everything,
and the barber at the shop was never very nice.
Now my hair has extended all the way to the floor,
I try to cut it, the scissors break, guess I'm payin' the price

(Chorus)
I can't be held resonsible,
it's not me, it's my hair.
I won't be held responsible,
yes, that's my face under there.

For the life of me,
I can not remember,
what made me think that it was wise
if no one could see my eyes.
For the life of me,
I can't believe it would grow out so far,
now it's a joke so, "Har har har."

My best friend took a week's vacation to get his hair cut,
I took a week's worth of hair tonic and used it.
Now my hair has extended even farther to the floor,
I think about it now and my hair, I must abuse it, I said...

I can't be held responsible,
it's not me, it's my hair.
I won't be held responsible,
guess I'll go apply for freaks in a fair!!!

(Repeat second part of chorus)

We've tried to cut our heads of all of this,
we never talk of our lack in barber shop visits.
Now our hair is so long it touches the floor,
We trip over our hair 'cause it's so long, we say it...

(Repeat all of chorus)