Misty Waterflower: Relationship Consultant
Chapter Five
By: eek!
Disclaimer: Storyline Mine. Characters Not.
Mmmm.......Ketchup........
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"Oh, Clefable! Why? Why, my love?" cried the distraught Wigglytuff on the melodramatic daytime soap.
"Because I met.... another Pokemon.... he is none other than-" The Clefable's confession was cut short as Misty changed the channel.
"What did you do that for, mommy?" Togetic psychically whined as it levitated another chip into its mouth, "that was my favorite soap." Misty gave no response as she clicked endlessly through a whole 13 channels before finally settling on another soap opera that was not any less sappy.
"Oh Serena."
"Oh Darien," Serena moaned as she gazed lustily into Darien's chocolate brown eyes.
"I have to tell you something..."
"No you don't!" Serena cried apprehensively, "whatever it is, it will be fine..."
"But Serena," Darien protested, who was suddenly taken aback by Serena's fear.
"And we will be right back with "Phases of the Moon" after a message from our sponsors," blared the TV announcer. In the next commercial stood a woman with long light blue hair tied up in a ponytail and a devious smile upon her face. She stood in an immaculate bathroom standing beside a toilet.... for this was none other than...a bathroom cleaner ad! Botan then walked up to the toilet and started to sniff.
"Eww," she remarked, her nose wrinkled in disgust, "when my toilet bowl looks or smells like this, I know I must use Bright Tinkle Cleaner and its gentle scrubbing action to make my toilet beautiful again." Botan then poured the cleaner into the bowl as the camera zoomed in and watched the blue cleaner swirl down the toilet during the flush.
"Bingo! It's minty fresh and spotless!" Botan cheered, "And now to remove mildew..."
"Yuck," complained Misty as she tried to keep the contents of her stomach down.
"Go back to two! Please mommy!" Since there was nothing else on Misty gave in to the pleading Pokemon and changed the channel to find yet another commercial.
"Fear not, fair maidens, it is I, Tatewaki Kuno, and I will come to your aid. If you defeat me in a battle of martial arts, you may date with me! Call 1-800-IWAN-TKUNO!
Hurry ladies if you do not make hast..."
"No one's that desperate," Misty chuckled. She then turned the channel to five, where Jerry Springer was interviewing an irate Juraian princess.
"...If it wasn't for that devil woman and all her lies Lord Tenchi and I would be together!" screamed Ayeka, pointing her finger grudgingly at her rival Ryoko.
"Tenchi and I were an item long before you appeared. Isn't that right, Tenchi?" the space pirate cooed as she hugged Tenchi tightly.
"Um, Ryoko, you're choking me," Tenchi gasped.
"Get your filthy hands off Lord Tenchi right this minute!" cried Ayeka as she began to power up with Jurai energy. Her whole body began to glow a light green and as her trademark energy beacons appeared around her.
"Girls, girls please!" Tenchi pleaded, "this isn't the place..."
"But Tenchi, what better place to have a bitch fight than Jerry Springer?" Ryoko replied, as an orange energy ball materialized in her hand. The girls now stood dressed in full battle garb, glowering at each other with extreme animosity.
"Your life ends now Ryoko!" screamed Ayeka as her energy blasted toward Ryoko.
"Hit the deck everyone!" Tenchi yelled, ducking behind a chair. Ryoko then released her orange ball of energy, which then collided with Ayeka's. The studio glowed a bright white before being blown to smithereens. Before the smoke cleared, Misty turned of the TV and gave a long, tired sigh.
"Aww, Mommy, they had just gotten to the good part!" Togepi complained as Pikachu entered Misty's room. A huge smile graced the face of the small Pokemon, for it had found in the fridge, a nice big bottle of ketchup. It "chaed" delightedly as it sat down on Misty's bed and began to indulge itself in the gooey tomato goodness that is Heinz.
"It's nothing new," Misty mumbled, getting up from the TV. However she seemed to be preoccupied by something else as she crossed the room and turned on the clock radio.
"What's love got to do, got to with...." the radio played.
"Maybe not," Misty said turning off the radio; her eyes stared fixedly out the window at the fluffy white clouds that slowly trekked across the sky.
"Mommy's thinking," stated Togetic.
"Pi," Pikachu acknowledged and went back to its ketchup.
Misty then put her hand on her mobile phone, but retracted quickly as if she hit a hot stove.
"Especially about Ash."
Misty then turned to scold Togetic but then caught sight of Pikachu sitting on her bed.
"Pikachu?" she asked uncertainly as if this was the first time she ever saw it in her room.
"Pi Pika?" it answered back, as it cocked its head to one side curiously.
"I have a reason to call now!" Misty exclaimed dialing the hospital number, "Ash certainly needs to pick up Pikachu."
"And Mommy certainly wants to see him again."
"Hey, I just want to make sure he is ok," Misty said defensively, "then we still have to finish our little discussion."
"I thought he was-"
"Shut up Togepi," Misty commanded as the woman on the hospital end picked up.
"Cerulean City General Hospital, how may I help you?"
"Um...I would like to check the status of a patient."
"Name?"
"Ash Ketchum."
"I'm sorry, but records of celebrities are classified," the receptionist said sternly. It looked like Misty wasn't going to get very far.
"But I'm Misty Waterflower his-"
"Misty, Misty Waterflower? Is that you Misty? It's me, Duplica!" said the woman on the other end of the line ecstatically, hoping it was her long lost friend.
"Yea, it's Misty!" Misty replied, equally excited, "like why are you at the hospital?"
"Well I got accepted to a performing arts college in Cerulean, but as a requirement for this course I have to do community service. So then I chose this hospital."
"Wow how cool Duplica."
"Yea well since your his-I mean- your not an obsessive fan girl I guess I can tell you," Duplica stuttered, being careful of her word choice since she did not know the nature of their relationship. They had been fighting the last time she saw them, but you never know with Ash and Misty.
"He was already released."
"Ok thanks Duplica," Misty said her voice slightly disappointed.
"No prob."
"Yea its just...never mind, good bye."
"Take care," Duplica said, hanging up. She made a mental note to swing by the Cerulean gym later today, to visit Misty.
***
"Change, change, change, I need some change," Ash dug around franticly around in his wallet for some coins to make a call on the payphone.
"Bulba," groaned the plant Pokemon as it reached into Ash's pocket and pulled out his mobile phone.
"Hey thanks buddy," Ash said, as grabbed the phone from Bulbasaur, " Oh damn my powers is low. I guess this will have to be a short call to Misty." Bulbasaur then shook its head, for its trainer must be the most complacent person in the universe.
"Now what do you think Misty's number is?"
***
"Misty the phone, is like, for you!" Lily cried. Lily then heard a door upstairs squeakily open as a mini stampede of feat trotted down the stairs. Lily handed the phone to Misty, who, with Pikachu and Togetic, sat down in front of the family videophone. There was no picture, however, and all that could be heard was the static.
"Ash," called Misty into the phone. A reply came in the form of a hello, or at least from what Misty could determine.
"What's wrong with your phone?" Misty yelled into the speaker, but it came out as, "was that a moan?"
"A moan? What did you say Misty?" Unfortunately for Ash the signal was totally garbled and all that Misty could get from the message was, "Pissy."
"Pissy? You think I'm pissy? Is this the thanks I get for taking care of your Pikachu?"
"Bless you."
"Oh yeah, well F*** YOU too Ash Ketchum! "Misty exploded as she slammed the receiver down in Ash's ear.
"I don't think that went too well Bulbasaur," Ash remarked nervously as he pocketed the phone, "I really should apologize for that all the other shit I put her through."
"Bulba bulbasaur!" Bulbasaur cried as it smiled widely. This was the first sensible thing it had heard all week.
***
"See you tomorrow, Dr. Tofu," Duplica waved as she walked out of the sliding doors of the hospital and into a passerby on the street.
"Oww," Duplica said as she rubbed her head, and opened one eye warily.
"So very sorry Miss," uttered a familiar voice handing her purse. Duplica looked the man in the face only to realize that she was talking to none other a very old friend of hers, Brock Slate.
"Hey Duplica, long time no see." It was still the same old Brock wearing the same clothes, and who still squinted.
"Oh my gosh, Brock you are like the second person I ran into today from like a long time ago," Duplica exclaimed.
"Who was the first?"
"Misty!"
"Wow too weird, I was just going to visit the gym."
"Me too!" Duplica marveled at the huge coincidence, " I was going to see what was up with her and Ash. I think they are going get back together!"
"What? How did you know?"
"She called for him, and she sounded really concerned."
Brock, thunderstruck, did the only thing he could think of in a situation like this: whip out his mobile phone.
"Whatcha ya doin'?" asked Duplica as she peered over Brock's shoulder.
"Calling Tracey, he just has to hear this," Brock told her as he put the phone to his ear.
***
Meanwhile in Pallet Town...
"Ugh too much party," moaned the young professor turning over in his bed. It was already late in the afternoon Pallet Town, but Tracy had yet to get out of bed. The peace and serenity of the quiet bedroom was suddenly shattered, by the annoying ringing phone. Tracy shuffled over to the phone, picked it up, and mumbled,
"What the heck is wrong with you?"
"Come on, Sketchit, you gotta hear this," Brock yelled impatiently.
"Huh?"
"Ash and Misty might be getting back together." Upon hearing this Tracy's eyes widened with disbelief as he dropped the phone. He automatically ran to his window and opened it.
"Professor Oak," Tracy shouted, addressing the senior professor whom was outside talking to a neighbor, "and Ash and Misty are an item again!" The neighbor whom Professor Oak shrieked happily as her eyes filled with motherly excitement for her little boy.
"Delia! Where are you going!"
"I have to call every one," she said as she ran home to her huge address book. Within, hours half of all of Kanto had heard the joyous news. Tracey had yet realize though, degree of his blunder. Since he did not listen, he threw another huge stone in the rocky road to recovery in Ash and Misty's relationship.
***
(Authoress's note: All Pokemon speech will be translated from now on in this part!!!)
Ash slowly but sullenly walked down the street towards the gym, with his hand his pockets, dreading the inevitable. Judging by Misty's tone on the phone call, and the their argument, this was not going to be a good meeting. Ash was still talking to Bulbasaur, who he could understand fairly well, since Bulbasaur was Ash's Pokemon for almost ten years.
"I need something like a gift to win her over."
"Bulba, bulba saur bul, * Sure, everyone loves presents! *" Bulbasaur said sarcastically, rolling its large red eyes. Ash was not unnerved by this comment because he cannot detect sarcasm in his own language, let alone Pokespeak.
"Let's see, would Misty want flowers, chocolates, or perhaps jewelry?"
"Bulba Bul Saur, *You're screwed Ash. *" Ash sighed and then announced the fact that had been bothering him ever since he could understand the small Pokemon.
"Bulbasaur, you such a pessimist."
"Bulba bulba saur bul...*I don't know what amazes me more, the fact that your observant, or that you used a big word.*"
"Wah?" Ash face faulted into a shop window. After he managed to peel his face off the window he peered in the glass at the items in the shop. Sitting inside was the gift that Ash was destined to give Misty from the first day he met her.
"All right perfect!" he exclaimed, confidently walking into the store, "this will be the best gift that Misty has ever gotten."
***
"They are such a cute couple! I saw them at the park after the dam broke, sitting on the back of the ambulance. They were arguing so much as they were fixing Ash up, you think they were married or something," Mihoshi bubbled to the caller on the other end phone.
"Mihoshi, we have to start back in on these reports again," Kiyone warned.
"Well I'll talk to later, buh bye!" Officer Mihoshi hung up and then skipped cheerfully back to her desk. The cup of coffee and the big juicy rumor had rejuvenated her. Little did she know, however, that she had called the wrong number. The man on the other end was not her neighbor. In fact, he was an evil man, who sat in a dark office on the other side of town. He was completely cast in the shadows save for his eyes and his sinister smile.
"Ifurita, send in Jessica and Jim please."
"Yes Sir, Mr. Jinnai!" Ifurita* said cheerily, her tone of voice contrasting with the malice in Jinnai's. The duo entered, who were also known as Jessie and James from Team Rocket, but who were now wearing formal attire. They had taken second jobs and were now in the employment of Jinnai as reporters for the Daily Sleaze, once the most popular tabloid in Cerulean City.
"I have your first field assignment. Are you two familiar with the current Pokemon Master, Ash Ketchum?"
"Yes," they answered simultaneously.
"There is a rumor that Ash is back together with a former girlfriend. I want you to make that rumor true."
"We already have proof," James stated, handing Jinnai the photos that had they taken when Misty was trying to resuscitate Ash.
"Excellent, excellent," Jinnai hissed, "you two will be given a huge raise if you dig me up more of this juicy information."
"Yes Sir."
"You will not disappointed." With this said the two left the office.
"Today the tabloid market, tomorrow, the world!" Jinnai cackled which turn into long loud evil laugh. A laugh that is the most annoying and demonic laugh in the entire universe. A laugh that takes pleasure in the misfortune of others.
Dun...Dun...Dun
(*Another Note: Ifurita's personality, in this story, is based off the Wanderer's TV series.)
Ending Spiel: Phew that was a long chapter! I hope that wasn't too many cameos, they just kind of jumped in...Any who, thanks for the reviews and I hope you enjoyed this chapter!
~eek!~