Disclaimer: I have no intention of saying that I own everything in this story. My mind's not worthy. Sirius Black, James Potter, Remus Lupin, Peter Pettigrew, Lily Evans (and everything wizarding and/ or witchcraft in nature), Ms. JK Rowling created them. I'm but a mere fan. As for the other girl characters (Lae Bevin, Gin Plata-Connor, JK R'phael and Professor Kiadara Wildfire) my friends and I own them. I repeat: They are not from any of the HP books. "BREATHING" is by Lifehouse. "BABY COME BACK TO ME" is by The Moffatts.
Author's notes: This is a songfic inspired by the song "Could it be any Harder" by The Calling. I've divided the verses and made a story out of the lyrics. Each chapter is titled by lines of other alternative songs (except chapter 6: the line came from Could it be any Harder) The lyrics of the song are enclosed in the ! J anyway… enuf of my introduction… I love SIRIUS BLACK! (Thanks ALEX BAND and AARON KAMIN for writing this heartfelt song. You have eternally changed my life.)
Of Wizards and Faerys: Chapter 7 "coz I want nothing more than to sit outside your door and listen to you breathing… is where I wanna be…"
Could it be any harder…
To live my life without you…
Sirius no longer had the strength to tear himself away from the window where he last saw Lae. He couldn't move. He couldn't breathe. He couldn't feel. Anything. Except for the heart wrenching pain that overpowered him over the loss of his love. His life.
He cried but the crying didn't seem to take away the pain. He cried until his eyes were dried up. He cried for the rest of the day.
He couldn't face his friends. He wasn't able to take the rest of his classes. He had gone to the safety of Lae's bed, where she had slept just that night.
Sirius sat on her bed and cried on his knees. She was so alive in the room. Her presence was overwhelming. It was intoxicating.
Could it be any harder
I'm all alone, I'm all alone
She can't be gone. She just couldn't be. She's here. She's alive. And we're in love. And we will get married after school, and have a family of little dark-eyed, red-haired girls and boys. She's all I have. She's my life.
March 1979
Like sand on my feet
'"Gryffindors win! Quidditch cup to Gryffindors!!"
Sirius descended onto the sandy field below the Keeper's area and ran to the locker rooms just moments after Alex had caught the Snitch.
The rest of the team had doubled up as Keepers throughout the game. He couldn't bear the idea that she wasn't with them to celebrate with. He entered the locker room. Even in there, she was alive. He could hear her spells directed towards him. He saw the mirror they often shattered in their duels. He dropped his broomstick and ran to the showers.
The smell of scent of sweet perfume
You stick to me forever, baby…
He heard her laughter. He heard her teasing. He felt the pains she inflicted on him on their duels. The soft falling of the droplets of water on his body couldn't soothe the pain of solitude. He was alone. She was gone. Sirius buried his face in between his knees and cried.
I am alone. She is gone.
* * *
May 1979
"Do any of you know what I could've done to stop her?"
Sirius asked as he let his fingers run through the keys of the piano. Only James, Peter, Remus, Lily, Gin, JK and Alex were left in the room with him. None of them dared to answer his question.
Although three months had past when she fled their world, they knew that his scars were still indeed very fresh.
"I mean, could it be just that?" he asked and looked at his friends.
"I figured it out only on the day she left." Remus, unsurprisingly was ready with an answer.
"What was is it? Was it to late for me to do anything?" he hurriedly asked.
"Yes, it was altogether late for you. See, it was up to her. And she made the decision to save you." Remus said.
"What are you talking about?" James asked.
"Yeah, Remus, what are you talking about?" Sirius asked.
"She said, if you came close enough to touch her, one of you would die." Remus started.
"It wouldn't have mattered if I died that instant I touched her. She should've known better than that." Sirius pouted.
"She did. You weren't going to die instantly." Remus said.
He had a weird manner of explaining extremely complicated things in a more complicated way.
"Explain please?" Sirius asked.
"The moment she stretched out her arms… I couldn't see her after that." Gin said.
"Because only an artist who was in love with her would be able to see her. Sirius, if you touched her, or even entered her space, you would forever be taken under the spell of the faery she became." Remus explained.
"That would've been fine! Then we could still be together." Sirius stood and walked to Remus and Gin.
"No, no. Sirius, it wouldn't. If you were under her enchantment, she'd have to feed on your soul. That's the only way she will survive. And a death faery like her kind doesn't have control over their powers. They are born to kill. If you continued to love her and be with her even after her transformation, she would have no choice but slowly kill you."
* * *
I wish you didn't go,
I wish you didn't go,
I wish you didn't go away…
June - Graduation Day, Hogwarts Batch 1979
"Sirius,"
James called when he saw his best friend standing in the middle of the common room. Sirius looked behind him and saw his best friend in his best robes.
"Just wanted to take a last look at everything before we left." He said.
"Oh, come on, Sirius, cheer up. It's Graduation Day."
James gave Sirius a gentle whack on his back. Sirius smiled. He looked up at the distant ceiling and studied every detail.
"I only actually absorbed the beauty of this common room now that I am about to leave." He sighed.
"Well, mate, you didn't have time to marvel at it when we were still kids excited about all the magic."
James said as he followed his stare.
"And you were the first ones who constantly gave it a make-over every weekend." James added.
Sirius was surprised by what he said. James, noticing at once the impact his statement must've had on Sirius, quickly apologized.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to –"
"It's alright, James. Don't worry." He gave James a gentle nudge.
"Let's go and get this over with shall we?" Sirius placed his hand on James' shoulder.
"I don't want anything to go wrong with the groom to be!" He jested as they climbed out of the portrait hole of the Fat Lady one last time.
"baby, come back to me… I hold the chains you hold the keys…"
"Abesnia, Arabella – Ravenclaw"
"Almosy, Crystal – Hufflepuff"
Professor McGonagall called out the names of ech graduate as the students left their seats to receive their diplomas. It was a see of majestic purple inside the Great Hall. The four long house tables were replaces with purple silk covered seats for the graduates and guests. A red carpet lined the aisle of the purple carpet colored floor.
Sirius tried to stay as calm as possible. He didn't want to think of anything else but the rites. He focused terribly hard opn the stage and for his cue to stand.
The As were almost finished and Professor McGonagall was moving along to the Bs. Alex stood but Sirius kept still.
Lae was supposed to go before him. No other person from any other house came between Bevin and Black. It was supposed to be her first, then Black next.
~ * ~ * ~
"Bevin, Lae Devnet." McGonagall called out a name that rang in his ears.
"Your girl." James jested. "Oh, haha." He spat sarcastically.
"Excuse me,"
The red-head intentionally bumped him when she walked past them. She climbed the stage and sat on the four-legged stool. Professor McGonagall placed the ragged old hat on her head.
"Mm… interesting… hmm… so much power is in you… could be a Ravenclaw…"
The sorting hat whispered into her ear.
"I sure hope she gets sorted away from me," Sirius whispered to James.
"Oh… but on the other hand, you're strength, and character…"
It continued. Lae didn't look nervous at all.
"GRYFFINDOR!" The Sorting Hat shouted.
The Gryffindors erupted in exuberant applause as Lae walked to their table.
"Black, Sirius." McGonagall called out. Sirius walked to the stool and sat.
"No doubt about you… but better be careful on this one… You're driven… and determined… but you have weaknesses… hmmm…" The hat thought. "GRYFFINDOR!" It shouted. He walked to the Gryffindor table and sat across Lae.
"We meet again, Black."
Lae said in her high-pitched eleven-year-old voice.
"I knew you were a witch. I was right after all, Muriel." Black smirked.
~ * ~ * ~
"Mr. Black, even in your final day at Hogwarts, you decide to sleep?"
Professor McGonagall's thin lips were pursed together. The Hall explooded in laughter. Sirius stood and walked to the stage.
"You caught me off guard, Professor. I'm sorry."
He smiled when she and Professor Dumbledore handed him his diploma.
"Understandable behaviour, Sirius, considering the instances." He said and shook his hand.
"Hey, Sirius, wait up!" Gin called. "Aunt Andromeda's looking for you." she added. Sirius was on his way to the West Tower.
"Gin," he wanted to explain but no words came out. Tears had formed behind his eyes.
"I'll tell them to wait for you here," she said with an assuring smile. Sirius could only smile back as a reply.
~ * ~ * ~
"Bevin, I will get you for this!"
Sirius roared as he ran through the halls in mud.
"Not until you cast a real charm that would stop me, Black!"
Lae has always been the faster runner of the two of them. Must be because of her momentary weightlessness.
They laughed and chased each other carefreely while James and Lily ran after them, casting cleaning charms to clear off Sirius' mess.
"Sirius, stop for a moment so we can clean you up!"
Lily's voice merely drowned in Sirius' bliss as he chased the enchanting faery who caused his filthiness.
She made him walk through quick-mud (which she mde herself) before they entered the castle after Quidditch practice.
"GOTCHA!"
He shouted as he jumped on her from behind and they fell on the floor together.
"Get off me!" Lae giggled as Sirius tickled her waist.
"You promised, no more tricks!" he giggled as well.
Even if Lae tried to push him off of her. He was too heavy to move and she was toltally under him (literally).
"Vata…"
"Don't even think about it…" Sirius lowered himself to kiss Lae.
"AGUAOUTEN!"
James shouted and Sirius and Lae were hit by a wave of water from James' wand. Lily mentioned the drying charm and the water and mud disappeared.
"James, Lily, I heard a charm being cast and waves crashing."
Professor Wildfire emerged from her office.
"Sorry, Professor." James apologised.
"We were cleaning after two Gryffindors."
Lily said and looked at Lae and Sirius who were still giggling silently on the floor. Professor Wildfire followed her stare.
"Lae and Sirius… I should've known." She shook her head while Sirius and Lae stood.
"Sorry but I have to do this. Five points each from the both of you for this display of immaturity."
She said authoritatively.
"Now move along, the four of you." She said then re-entered her office.
"Good thing we're Head Boy and Head Girl," James said.
"Thanks, mate!" Sirius exclaimed then he and Lae ran to the tower.
~ * ~ * ~
Sirius' heart raced before he opened the door. It has been four months since he was last in this tower.
He just wanted to remember.
He twisted the doorknob and entered the room. It was pretty much the same. Even the chair she sat on remained unmoved. He fought harder so the tears won't fall. He walked to the chair and let his fingers glide on it. He reached the window and looked out to the magical blue skies.
He stood in silence and listened to the wind.
Stillness. Serenity. Nothingness. She wasn't coming back. It was all wishful thinking.
"for without your love… will I ever be free… baby come back to me"
-think it's over? -
AN: over? NOT! Ehehehe… The song isn't even finished yet. Epilogue is on the way… sorry for the delay. J reviews so far? J LaEnAn-DeVnEt-BeViN J