Chapter 3
Out of unbroken habit, Heero rose
from bed at
Heero sighed as he let the water
stream down his face. What the hell is wrong with me? He
seemed to be asking himself that question a lot recently. He shut the water off and stepped out of the
shower stall. Wrapping a towel around
his waste he walked back down the hallway to his room. Once inside, he quickly went about
changing. He put on dark khakis and a
black shirt in the same style as the one from the day before. Since the black boots were uncomfortable he
opted for his brown hiking boots. They
fit better and provided better support anyway—another unbroken habit: utilizing equipment that better enabled him
to carry out a mission. Except this
wasn't a mission. He shook his head.
Finished dressing, he turned to the
task of making his bed and straightening the rest of the room. He hadn't really been able to when he arrived
and by the time they had all retired to bed it had been too late. He carried his used towel back to the
bathroom and tossed into the hamper to be cleaned later when the servants came
back. He walked down the hall and made
his way down the stairs. The clock in
the sitting room chimed the hour as he walked past the massive rooms and through
the spacious dining room heading towards the kitchen. He heard the stirrings of another person
within. He assumed it was one of the
servants. Who else could possibly be up at six?
He entered the kitchen and his heart
skipped a beat—or was it two? Of course
it couldn't be a servant. It would have
to be Duo. And of course he would have
to be dressed in only his nightclothes; said clothes consisting of black
flannel pants hanging from his hips and a robe of the same color and material
left open to reveal the expanse of his chest. Heero's mouth went dry at the tempting sight and he stifled a groan,
resisting the urge to do an about-face and go back to his room. "Mornin' Heero!" Duo looked up from his position by the coffee
machine and let his gaze trail over Heero. "Do you always get dressed as soon as you get up?" He shook his head with a heavy sigh and
grinned. Heero was once again struck by
how beautiful he was.
He shrugged trying not to
stare. "Are you always up this
early?" He shot back in an attempt to
mask his own discomfort.
Duo grinned sheepishly, "I guess some
of your habits kinda rubbed off on me. Hell, why shouldn't they have? I
mean we were always rooming together." He didn't know why, but Heero found that almost endearing. By now he'd made his way to the bar and was
sitting down, watching Duo move about and listening to whatever comments he
made, volunteering some of his own every now and then. Duo's idle chatter relaxed him and he no
longer felt ill at ease. He was so absorbed
in listening to the gentle timbre of Duo's voice that he was momentarily
surprised when a mug appeared before him. "Sugar, cream, both, or black?" Heero just stared at him. Had he actually been so distracted he hadn't
noticed what Duo was doing? Duo
quirked an eyebrow. "Um . . . Heero?"
Heero snapped his eyes back into focus
and shook his head to clear his wayward thoughts. "Both," his voice sounded harsh to his own
ears.
"Are you okay? You don't seem quite yourself." His violet eyes filled with concern, Duo
reached a hand out to feel his forehead, but Heero pulled sharply away from his
touch.
"I'm fine," he muttered and turned
away anxious to avoid Duo's all too knowing eyes.
Duo shrugged and turned away. He returned to the bar with a small pitcher
of cream and a bowl of sugar cubes and sat down across from Heero. "I have no idea where he keeps the loose
stuff," Duo commented as he popped a cube into his mouth, "He probably doesn't
trust me not to make a mess." He
grinned. "One or two?" He held the bowl out to Heero. Much to Duo's surprise he took three cubes and
dropped them into his mug. He then
poured a small amount of cream into the steaming liquid; not a lot, just enough
to lighten the color. "I'd offer to fix
breakfast, but I'm a lousy cook. Besides, Wufei seems to enjoy it more. That's another reason I get up early," he grinned evilly and drank his
coffee, "It makes them feel guilty when they get up around eight and realize
I've been left to entertain myself for two hours." He laughed and clapped Heero on the shoulder,
"But I won't be alone anymore, right buddy?" Unable to resist the charm that was Duo Maxwell, the corners of Heero's
mouth lifted slightly.
They spent the rest of their time
waiting for the others discussing various things. Duo explained that Quatre had given the
servants the time off because he'd wanted the small reunion to be just the five
former pilots. Having the servants
hovering in the background had made him feel as though he were still
working. Heero could find no fault in
the explanation and was actually grateful to Quatre for his decision. It guaranteed that he and Duo would always
get this time alone. Now all you have to do is admit why that
thought pleases you so much, Heero scowled, annoyed with his own
thoughts. Oblivious to Heero's inward
battle, Duo rattled on, filling Heero in on what he'd missed and what he could
look forward to for the rest of the week. Heero quietly—and defiantly—reveled in the solitude and grudgingly
enjoyed the time he got to spend alone with his former partner. He hated admitting it, even if it was just to
himself.
-----------
Some two hours later a somewhat
drowsy Wufei entered the kitchen. His
hair was wet indicating that he'd taken a shower, but he wore only a pair of
white boxers and a green robe. He slowly
made his way to the bar and sat down next to Heero. On the other side Duo had gotten up and was
now preparing another mug. He measured
out a teaspoon of honey and poured it into the dark liquid. He then stirred in the cream and came to sit
back down at the bar sliding the mug across the surface to Wufei. Nodding his thanks the Chinese man took a
healthy swallow and immediately perked up. Setting the mug down he turned to narrow a glare at Heero. "Don't tell me you're as insane as he." He tilted his head at Duo.
Heero immediately picked up on his
meaning, "I do not get up at six."
Wufei seemed relieved until Duo
clarified, "He gets up at five-thirty," Wufei choked on his coffee. Heero pounded his back a few times while Duo
continued to elaborate. "It's such a
beautiful time to get up. The sun is
just starting its ascent so the sky is a pale pink tinged with orange. The air is still cool and the grass is
covered in a mist that eventually settles to become the sparkling dew you see
out there now. The birds begin their—"
"How did you know?" Heero interrupted the picture Duo was
painting much to Wufei's relief.
Duo shrugged, "I seem to remember
the sounds of running water breaking through my dreams and realized . . ."
".
. . That there's only one other person
crazy enough to be up," Wufei paused as he looked Heero up and down, "and
dressed at six in the fricken' morning." He glared and took another long drink.
"You really aren't a morning person
are you, Wufei?" Quatre appeared in the
doorway in brown pajama pants and matching robe held closed by the loosely
knotted belt. He was followed by Trowa
who was wearing a similar getup with the exception that his was red and like
Duo, he had left his robe hanging open. Trowa took a seat beside Heero and Quatre went around to sit on the same
side as Duo. Duo had already gotten up
to retrieve two more mugs. He returned
quickly with the prepared coffee and delivered them before sitting back down. Quatre smiled his thanks; Trowa merely
accepted his mug.
"So, Quatre," Duo stared into his
mug, "I was catching Heero up on all the stuff he missed and giving him an
outline of our plans for this week so far." He looked up at Quatre quizzically, "I just can't come up with what
we're doing today. Truth be told, I
don't remember us mentioning anything."
Wufei snorted into his mug. "I believe you decided we'd go to a
movie tonight." He narrowed a pointed
glare at Duo, "Or did you forget?"
"That's just it. We're going to the movie tonight; we
never discussed and activity for today." Wufei's expression was completely blank. Duo grinned and turned back to Quatre. "I figure you must already have something up your sleeve."
"Well, actually there were supposed
to be some men coming today to help pick out materials and take measurements. . ."
his voice trailed off as he took a sip of his coffee. Heero saw where this was going; Relena had
confronted him with the same last minute fittings far too often for him not to
recognize that a very extravagant party loomed in their future. He turned to
Trowa. His face was impassive as always,
but Heero detected a glint of amusement in his visible eye. He turned back to gauge the other's
reactions. Duo stared at Quatre with a
look that pleaded for him to be joking, and Wufei could only blink at him. Heero grinned into his mug. They'd figured it out; they just weren't
happy about it. Quatre continued his
explanation. "Some of my sisters are
hosting a gala of a sort next week and they wanted us to be there. I forgot to mention it in my letter, and I
really didn't know if either of you owned anything formal so I decided to have
you fitted."
Duo lifted an eyebrow skeptically,
"Forget?—or just decide that it would be wiser to tell us after we got
here?" Quatre smiled widely, Duo
glared. "I thought so." He continued to glare as he sipped his
coffee, but his face immediately set to one of concern. "Wait. What about Heero? I can't imagine
he'd be too thrilled about going. Lord
knows he spends enough time at them as is." He turned to give his friend a knowing smile. Heero stared back at him oddly touched by
Duo's offhanded remarks. He would have
continued staring into the soft violet, but Quatre jumped to an explanation
forcing him to break contact.
"I took that into consideration when
my sisters first told me about the gala, and I told them that it would be up to
you whether you went or not. That's why
I didn't mention it in the letter. I
didn't want you to feel obligated." He
shrugged. "So if you want to go be
patient and let the tailors size you up, and if you don't let them do it
anyway. My sisters will understand if we
aren't there."
"Hey it's all fine with me
Quatre. It might be nice to get all
dressed up." Duo grinned widely and
turned to look at Heero again. "What about
you, buddy? You gonna go?" Heero knew he was asking as a joke; Duo had
already surmised that he wouldn't, he just didn't know why, and on some level
Heero felt as though he'd be letting him down if his only excuse was that he'd
attended more that his share already. And why should that bother me? He shook his head refusing to answer that
question, and started to explain why he wouldn't be going.
Unfortunately he was beaten to the
task by Wufei. "Don't get your hopes
up." Four pairs of eyes turned to face
him. Duo narrowed his eyes
curiously. Wufei glowered darkly,
looking at Duo when he answered the unspoken question. "He told us last night he would only be
staying for a week. If the gala's not
until next week, there's no point in expecting him to come." Trowa stared impassively although Heero
sensed that he was slightly miffed. Duo
fiddled with his mug, turning it around in his hands. Quatre gave an almost sad shake of his head;
apparently he'd forgotten. For his part,
Heero simply stared at the Chinese pilot. From his tone, Heero surmised that he wasn't as angry as he was hurt,
and as he looked at each of his comrades in turn he realized that they all felt
that way. What Heero failed to
understand was why. The gala would be the same with or without him—wouldn't it? Was his presence there really that important
to them? Heero had never considered
himself to be an important addition to any gathering, even by a small degree,
yet here were the only four people he held any real affection for acting as
though all the enjoyment they could possibly have had was gone. And for the second time in the span of two
minutes he felt as though he were letting them down—especially Duo. He growled
and roughly slid his stool back, mad at himself for feeling guilty and
determined to leave.
Just as he would have stood,
however, he felt a warm hand cover his own. An odd tingle worked its way up his spine, and just like the night
before, he suddenly felt very hot. Masking
his reaction to the simple action, he turned his head so that he was once again
looking at Duo. He made a slightly
irritated face in an effort to mask his discomfort. "Just because you don't have to go, it
doesn't mean you don't have to take part in this morning's activities." Heero lifted his eyebrows in a way that
questioned, 'Oh really?' Duo
nodded. He released Heero's hand, set
his mug down, and stood up walking around to the other side of the bar. He grabbed hold of Heero's arm, looping one
of his own through it and led him out of the room. "Since you don't actually have to be fitted,
you can stay with me and keep me company. I can only guess how long it will take, and if I have to suffer then
I'll be damned if you don't suffer with me."
"Duo you don't have to go. If you—" Duo waved away Quatre's comment as he and Heero walked out the
door. Quatre shrugged and turned back to
the others. "I guess it's just the three
of us now. So, Wufei, what's for
breakfast?"
-----------
Six hours and three and a half
brandies later found Heero sitting on a forest green sofa, sipping on his
fourth brandy in one of the front rooms. The tailors had left almost an hour ago and the others had all gone off
to do various things to while away the time until the movie started. That left Heero alone with his thoughts—all
of which suddenly revolved one violet-eyed beauty. Stifling a groan Heero took another sip
willing his wayward thoughts to cease. It was all wrong. He shouldn't
feel this way, shouldn't react this way. Duo was his best friend, but . . . that didn't explain any of what he'd been
feeling since he'd arrived. When Duo had
grabbed his arm and dragged him out of the kitchen almost three minutes had
passed before he'd remembered what it meant to breathe. Every time Duo looked his way—whenever he
felt that violet gaze on him—his heart immediately started a frantic
beating. It was disconcerting, and
events this morning hadn't helped. He'd
been with Duo since he'd come downstairs at
Now he was sitting in a dark room,
staring outside at the afternoon sun, drinking more of Quatre's expensive
liquor, and trying to push every thought he had of his friend and former
partner out of his mind. Unfortunately
it wasn't working. Heero glared at nothing
in particular and swallowed what remained in his glass. Stop
running. Heero stood up and stalked
to the cabinet across from him. He
slammed the glass down on the smooth surface of the counter and leaned forward,
laying his head in hands massaging his temples. He was beginning to regret his coming here. And all because of one man. "So here you are. I'd wondered where you'd gone." Heero dropped his hands from his face and
turned to face Duo. He stood just
outside doorway, arms stretched out on either side looking at Heero with his
head cocked to one side, as though trying to read his mind. Heero prayed to whatever god in existence
that he couldn't. "Are you sure you're
ok?" He stepped into the room, "'Cause
you don't seem exactly yourself." He
shrugged, "Maybe you've changed more than I thought you would, but I don't
think that's it." He smiled softly. "Are you gonna answer me or just continue to
stare at me?"
"I'm fine," Heero turned back around
his arm reaching for the decanter of brandy on the middle shelf.
Duo let out a soft chuckle and came
to stand right behind him. "You said the
exact same thing this morning. I didn't
believe you then, and I sure as hell don't believe you now." He crossed his arms over his chest and
narrowed a pointed look at Heero. "You've lost your touch. Almost
from the moment I saw you last night I could tell something was wrong. I used to have so much trouble trying to read
you, but now you're like an open book. What happened to the stoic soldier?"
Heero brushed passed him; his voice
was harsh when he spoke, "I'm not a soldier anymore." He walked over to sofa and sat back
down. He missed the smirk that crossed
Duo's face at his words.
"Damn straight you're not." Duo now stood beside the armrest of the sofa
farthest from Heero, and glared down at him. Heero refused to look at him, choosing to keep his gaze focused on the
contents of his glass. He knew if he
looked up Duo would see it; lurking just behind his eyes. I'm
lonely. "Fine, Heero, have it your
way" Heero heard a soft sigh and then
felt the weight of the couch shift as Duo sat down on the arm of the sofa, "but
you should know that you can't avoid me forever." As soon as he spoke Duo let himself fall, his
head landing squarely in Heero's lap. When Heero would have stood up, Duo laid a hand on his shoulder, forcing
him to stay. Then he looked up and
grinned. Heero averted his eyes, still
not willing to let himself be so easily read. Yet he couldn't deny that some small part of him found this
comforting--enjoyable--and he fought back the urge to sigh. Instead he forced himself to take drink his
brandy.
Duo eventually moved his hand from
his shoulder, but Heero made no move to stand. He knew Duo would just stop him again. As if he actually could stop
you. You're just enjoying this too much. Heero leaned his head against the back of the
sofa and closed his eyes; he was too exhausted to deal with this right now. Duo never said anything; he just lay on his
back and stared up at Heero, wondering why he was still there. Heero could have easily taken him down and
left, but he hadn't. That meant that on
some level Heero wanted him here, or maybe it wasn't particularly him, but the
company he offered. Maybe he hadn't
misread the look in Heero's eyes, the one that cried out for another. He became faintly aware of a gentle tugging
on his head and tilted it back to see the end of his braid in Heero's
hand. His left hand still held his
brandy which he sipped at periodically, but his right held onto the braided
length of chestnut, his thumb gliding up and down the soft, brown strands. Duo reached a hand back to still the movement
and waited for Heero to look at him.
At the light brush of Duo's fingers
across his own, Heero stilled. His mind
instantly registered that he was grasping something that in no way resembled
his glass, and he looked down. He blinked
at the sight of Duo's braid resting in his now open palm. When
did I do that? He shifted his gaze
to find Duo looking up at him with an expression that told Heero he was finding
this situation to be amusing. He
directed a dark glare at him, which only made Duo crack a smile. "So why did you come, Heero?" Heero didn't answer. He narrowed his eyes even more, warning his
friend without words to drop it. Duo
apparently didn't hear him. "It's not
like Wufei said last night, right? I
mean, I know you could come up with a better excuse than that." Heero looked away, determined not to answer
and wishing Duo would just stop. He didn't
want to do this now; he wasn't ready to confront this. Unfortunately Duo wouldn't let it drop. "Just admit it, Heero." He swung his legs to the side and sat up,
turning so that he now faced Heero.
"There's nothing to admit." Heero fixed his eyes on a point in front of
him.
"Everyone feels lonely
sometimes. Why are you trying so hard to
deny it?"
"I'm not denying anything. The explanation Wufei gave last night is
correct. I only desired to have a week
to myself that devoid of politics and parties." His glass was empty now, and he held it up to the light coming through
the window, studying the play of light on its crystal surface.
"Whatever you say, buddy." Duo sighed heavily and stood up. He tossed his braid behind his back and walked
toward the door. "Keep telling yourself
that, and eventually you'll believe it, too." With those parting words he left, leaving Heero staring at an empty
glass in the late afternoon sun—alone.
Cursing silently he stood up and
walked to the cabinet; however he stopped before he pulled the decanter down. He ran an unsteady hand through his already
disheveled hair and looked around the room for nothing in particular. He'd been close to saying it; so close to
telling Duo how he felt, and that irritated him. He didn't need them—him. He could take care of himself, he didn't need
anyone else. But you'd wanted him to know anyway. Why did it matter to Duo anyway? It wasn't any of his concern. Heero's life was no one's business but his
own. So
why did you want him to know? Heero
let out a frustrated growl and swung back around to face the cabinet. He slammed a fist into the surface of the
counter, ignoring the stab of pain that sliced through his hand. "It doesn't matter." His voice held a conviction he didn't
feel. Because it did matter. It always would. Then
why didn't you tell him? "It wouldn't
change anything." Heero gripped the
glass tightly in his hand, "I'll still be . . . ." Lonely? With a sharp cry Heero swung around and sent the glass crashing into the
wall. As the crystal shards fell softly
onto the floor, Heero slowly slid down the length of the wall behind him. He wrapped his arms around his raised knees
and leaned his head against the wall. Damn pride.
Damn his foolish heart . . . .
~~~~ * ^ * ~~~~
Hey! I know, I know—it took me a really long time
to get chapter three done, and I'm so sorry. It took me a while to figure out where to go. I think it was worth the wait, though because
I'm very pleased with it. Let me know
what you think. Thanx!
SammyD