Title: The Better (Wo)Man
Author: Rogue
Rating: PG-13
Content: Ooohh... It's a surprise!
Characters: Kane, Trish Stratus, Jeff Hardy, Terri, and a surprise...
Disclaimer: I own nothing! The plot bunnies made me do it!
Notes: I know this is a little late for a Halloween story, but better late than never! Although this is only a one shot deal, I could be persuaded to do a follow-up if I get enough nice replies... If slashy moments squick you, then please skip over this little piece. You'll be sorry that you did, but it might be for your own good.
Summary: The Superstars are having a Halloween party. Someone tries to prove who the better... woman... is.
"I can't believe he kissed her! And more than once, too!"
Jeff sighed. "It'll be okay," he said, patting the sobbing blonde on the head. "It's just a storyline."
"Oh, really? She doesn't seem to think so. She's been bragging all week about how's she's gonna get lucky with the Big Red Machine... MY Big Red Machine... after the Halloween party!"
"But she means nothing to him."
"How... do... you... know?"
"I've seen the way Kane looks at you. You're the only one for him." He gave the shaking shoulders a reassuring squeeze. "Besides, you two make a better couple than him and Terri."
"You're right, Jeff."
"I know I am."
"And I'm gonna prove it!"
"That's great! ... Prove what?"
"That Kane and I make a delicious couple..."
"I never used the word 'delicious'..."
"And I'm gonna show that self-proclaimed She-devil who the best woman really is."
"Umm.. I don't think..."
"I know you don't. That's why we're gonna need some help."
"Hey!"
"Don't you worry... I've got everything all planned out..."
"But... But.. But..." It was too late, he realized. He could do nothing but follow.
"Are you sure we should go through with this, Trish?"
Jeff had asked this question for what seemed the eleventh time. It was actually the fifteenth. And after spending hours searching for the perfect costume and various other supplies, they'd finally settled into Trish's hotel room. They had just gone over the list to make sure they'd acquired everything they would need before they got started. Everything seemed to be in order.
"Yes, we're going through with this. Terri is gonna get a run for her money."
"If you say so." Jeff wasn't sure how this night was going to end. But he knew that he was definitely going to bring a camera.
"Happy Halloween!" Stephanie McMahon and Eric Bischoff shouted, as they entered the ballroom. She was dressed as Belle from Beauty and the Beast, complete with the overflowing bust and he was dressed as a vaudeville villain with a flowing cape and a black, curly mustache.
"This sure is some party," Jeff said, lifting up his eye patch to survey his surroundings. Black and orange helium-filled balloons crowded the high ceiling and there were tables loaded with food lining the walls. And every Superstar and Diva was in costume. Billy and Chuck were Men In Black. Hurricane Helms was dressed as himself seeing as he was a superhero. Christian was dressed as Little Bo Peep with Test and Lance Storm as the Sheep. Shane McMahon was sporting a Superman outfit. Booker T was Shaft and Goldust was Austin Powers.
"I can't believe some of these costumes," Kane replied.
"Well, you make a pretty good Batman."
"And you're not a bad pirate."
"Happy Halloween!" Trish cheered as she gave Jeff and then Kane big hugs. "Great outfits."
"Thanks," Kane said. "And what are you?"
"Tinkerbell." She was practically beaming.
"Oh... Very nice."
"Thanks."
Leaning over, Jeff whispered to her, "Have you seen..."
"Nope. And the party's been going for almost an hour."
Suddenly, Jeff's jaw mouth dropped open, his chin practically reaching his knees.
"What's the matter?" Kane asked. Looking in the direction that Jeff's trembling finger pointed, he gasped. "Damn..."
Terri, wearing a red She-devil outfit, strutted across the room, wrapped her arms around Kane's neck, and planted a big kiss on his cheek. "Trick or treat," she cooed.
"She's a trick, alright," Trish mumbled. "She's a trick from way back."
"Did you say somethin, sweetie?"
"Oh.. I was just commenting on your wonderful costume... So very original."
"Thank you.... And what, exactly, are you supposed to be?"
"Tinkerbell," she replied, dryly.
"How... cute." She then turned to Kane and said, "Why don't we get outta here and have our own, private party? I'll be sure to make it worth your while."
"I... Uh... Well..."
"He has other plans."
The four turned to see who had interjected into their conversation. Trish and Jeff broke into wide grins, Kane blushed, and Terri turned up her not-so-lovely face into a sneer. The intruder was in an all black attire -- including the mask, skin tight, leather body suit, three inch stiletto heeled boots, and cat ears that topped their head of flowing blonde hair -- and stared daggers at the offensive She-devil.
"And who the hell are you?" Terri asked, stepping in the stranger's path.
"Catwoman," was the reply as the black, glossy lips curved into a smirk. "So keep your filthy hands off of my man or else I'll claw your eyes out."
Terri, trying to think of a snappy comeback, was roughly pushed aside and fell, rather unceremoniously, on her red behind.
The Cat walked over to Kane, wrapped their arms around his neck, and waited patiently for a response.
"Chrissy?" he asked. "Is that really you?"
"In the flesh... Or should I say... leather."
"You look... Damn... Where did you get this getup?"
"Just a little something I've been saving for a special occasion. You like?"
"I like, I like!" He ran a hand over the leather clad ass and gave it a tight squeeze. "You should dress up more often."
"I've got the matching whip up in my room..."
Grinning evilly, Kane hoisted Chris over his shoulder.
As he was being carried out of the ballroom, a smiling Chris Jericho waved goodbye to the group. Seeing Terri's shocked expression -- which greatly resembled an impression of a goldfish -- he shouted, "Sorry, Terri... But it looks like the better woman won in the end!"
The End