*Ow!* Harry winced from the self-inflicted pain. He'd just pricked himself blood test style, trying to keep awake. *Good, this hurts more than I remember.*
I have to get better at staying awake. Too bad they don't have caffeine here... wait a minute, yeah they do. They have tea, and coffee! Harry remembered the book Hermione gave him for his birthday, and silenty got it out of his trunk, carefully avoiding his pricked finger. He sat down on his bed and looked through the book.
Here it is. A spell to make coffee. Of course, I could just take my cloak and go down to the kitchens... oh well, this will be easier, I suppose. He got up and got a cup from the table with the water on it, and took it back to his four-poster bed and closed the curtains.
Harry emptied the cup of strong coffee very quickly. It burned his tongue, but he didn't care. More pain would only keep him awake longer.
He spent the night chugging coffee. He ended up with a nasty headache, because he wasn't used to *that* much caffeine. Oh well. He was trying now to sleep only every other night. Tonight, he succeeded.
"Ron," Hermione said. "We need to talk about Harry." A look of pain crossed Ron's face. "You can't be mad at him now. Or you shouldn't. He really needs us. He really needs you." Ron looked into Hermione's eyes.
"Why does he do this to us?" he asked, genuine pain showing in his voice.
"Only he knows. Things he's seen, things he's dreamed, things he's lived through..." Hermione shook her head. "Only he knows."
"I just wish he would tell us."
"Me too."
"Maybe if we don't gang up on him. Maybe if only one of us talks to him alone some time, we could get it out of him."
"That's a really good idea."
"I think it should be you."
"What? Why me?"
"You're better at that sort of thing. I think he'd be more willing to talk to you. You do it, Hermione. And I'll apologize," he added.
"Harry?" Ron approached his best friend. He said nothing. "I just wanted to say that I'm sorry for being mad at you and everything." His words were slow and choppy, as apologizing was hard for him to do. Harry looked up and saw Ron's look of sincerity, and knew how hard it must have been for him to say that.
"It's all right," he said simply. Ron breathed a sigh of relief. You didn't apologize for saving me, though, did you? Harry couldn't help thinking.
"Hey, Harry," Hermione said. She'd just showed up.
"Oh, I'd better, er... yeah," Ron said, and disappeared.
"What was that about?" Harry asked.
"I don't know," Hermione lied. There was an uncomfortable silence.
"Er... what's up?" Harry asked.
"Oh! Nothing, nothing. So... how've you been lately?"
"Eh. Okay." Like he was going to tell her the truth. He really was no better than he was before. He was just trying to cope and come up with a new and better plan for suicide, and gather up the courage....
"I hate how they took away your potion." *Why* did she have to bring that up? "How do you manage?" Harry shrugged. He *really* didn't want to talk about this.
"So... how about that Charms homework, huh?" he said, in an attempt to change the subject.
"Really, Harry."
"I don't know... sometimes I just don't sleep at all."
"How do you do that?"
"Coffee, mostly." Harry winced inwardly. *Mostly?* I shouldn't have said that!
"What else?" Damn.
"Er... cold showers." Good. I didn't say "mostly," or "sometimes," or anything else like that!
"That must be really hard for you. How often do you stay up?"
"Every other night or so."
"Wow. So it's every night?"
"Voldemort? Mostly." Dammit! What else could there be besides Voldemort? I as good as told her...
"So you have other dreams, too?"
"Er... sometimes, yeah."
"What about?" Harry sighed very deeply. "About the Tournament?" Harry got up.
"Listen, I'm going to leave now. I'll see you later." Then he left Hermione alone and hurried up to the dormitories.
"I thought you had to er... yeah," Harry said, seeing Ron sprawled across his bed.
"What?" he said, sitting up.
"I thought you had to er... yeah," Harry said again, sitting on his own bed. Ron laughed, catching sight of the expression on Harry's face, which showed he wasn't mad. Actually, a part of him was, but he didn't want to fight with Ron anymore, especially since Ron had apologized to him within the hour. Of course, he didn't know that Hermione's questions were Ron's idea. All he knew was that he knew about and was in on it.
I have to get better at staying awake. Too bad they don't have caffeine here... wait a minute, yeah they do. They have tea, and coffee! Harry remembered the book Hermione gave him for his birthday, and silenty got it out of his trunk, carefully avoiding his pricked finger. He sat down on his bed and looked through the book.
Here it is. A spell to make coffee. Of course, I could just take my cloak and go down to the kitchens... oh well, this will be easier, I suppose. He got up and got a cup from the table with the water on it, and took it back to his four-poster bed and closed the curtains.
Harry emptied the cup of strong coffee very quickly. It burned his tongue, but he didn't care. More pain would only keep him awake longer.
He spent the night chugging coffee. He ended up with a nasty headache, because he wasn't used to *that* much caffeine. Oh well. He was trying now to sleep only every other night. Tonight, he succeeded.
"Ron," Hermione said. "We need to talk about Harry." A look of pain crossed Ron's face. "You can't be mad at him now. Or you shouldn't. He really needs us. He really needs you." Ron looked into Hermione's eyes.
"Why does he do this to us?" he asked, genuine pain showing in his voice.
"Only he knows. Things he's seen, things he's dreamed, things he's lived through..." Hermione shook her head. "Only he knows."
"I just wish he would tell us."
"Me too."
"Maybe if we don't gang up on him. Maybe if only one of us talks to him alone some time, we could get it out of him."
"That's a really good idea."
"I think it should be you."
"What? Why me?"
"You're better at that sort of thing. I think he'd be more willing to talk to you. You do it, Hermione. And I'll apologize," he added.
"Harry?" Ron approached his best friend. He said nothing. "I just wanted to say that I'm sorry for being mad at you and everything." His words were slow and choppy, as apologizing was hard for him to do. Harry looked up and saw Ron's look of sincerity, and knew how hard it must have been for him to say that.
"It's all right," he said simply. Ron breathed a sigh of relief. You didn't apologize for saving me, though, did you? Harry couldn't help thinking.
"Hey, Harry," Hermione said. She'd just showed up.
"Oh, I'd better, er... yeah," Ron said, and disappeared.
"What was that about?" Harry asked.
"I don't know," Hermione lied. There was an uncomfortable silence.
"Er... what's up?" Harry asked.
"Oh! Nothing, nothing. So... how've you been lately?"
"Eh. Okay." Like he was going to tell her the truth. He really was no better than he was before. He was just trying to cope and come up with a new and better plan for suicide, and gather up the courage....
"I hate how they took away your potion." *Why* did she have to bring that up? "How do you manage?" Harry shrugged. He *really* didn't want to talk about this.
"So... how about that Charms homework, huh?" he said, in an attempt to change the subject.
"Really, Harry."
"I don't know... sometimes I just don't sleep at all."
"How do you do that?"
"Coffee, mostly." Harry winced inwardly. *Mostly?* I shouldn't have said that!
"What else?" Damn.
"Er... cold showers." Good. I didn't say "mostly," or "sometimes," or anything else like that!
"That must be really hard for you. How often do you stay up?"
"Every other night or so."
"Wow. So it's every night?"
"Voldemort? Mostly." Dammit! What else could there be besides Voldemort? I as good as told her...
"So you have other dreams, too?"
"Er... sometimes, yeah."
"What about?" Harry sighed very deeply. "About the Tournament?" Harry got up.
"Listen, I'm going to leave now. I'll see you later." Then he left Hermione alone and hurried up to the dormitories.
"I thought you had to er... yeah," Harry said, seeing Ron sprawled across his bed.
"What?" he said, sitting up.
"I thought you had to er... yeah," Harry said again, sitting on his own bed. Ron laughed, catching sight of the expression on Harry's face, which showed he wasn't mad. Actually, a part of him was, but he didn't want to fight with Ron anymore, especially since Ron had apologized to him within the hour. Of course, he didn't know that Hermione's questions were Ron's idea. All he knew was that he knew about and was in on it.