Disclaimer: refer to previous chapters, would you?
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Harry thought of what he wanted the dreamless sleep potion to hide from, the horrors he'd caused. He didn't want to hide from it anymore. He only wanted everything to stop.
Still, he looked over the potions on the page. There, the dreamless sleep potion.
Harry resigned himself to making the potion rather than trying anything more drastic tonight. He really wasn't bad at potion-making, despite Professor Snape. Harry quietly made the potion, listening to Moaning Myrtle mope in her toilet. He read the next step in the book, then froze.
There was a side note in the instructions. It warned that if the next two ingredients in the potion were put in in the wrong order a lethal poison would result.
This is my chance. It would be so easy. I could make the potion incorrectly, pretend to go to sleep and no one would know till morning. And it won't get Ron and Hermione all worked up. This is perfect.
With shaking hands Harry added the next ingredients in the incorrect order and finished the potion. Then he put back on his Invisibility Cloak and left Moaning Myrtle's bathroom.
Harry walked carefully through the corridors, blood pounding in his ears. This is it. This is the end of everything. No more endangering people, no more guilt. The world will be free me, and I'll be free from it. I'll be with my parents, and the world will appreciate it.
Harry shook his head slightly, thoughts of Voldemort starting to seep in. He had to keep his composure in front of Ron and Hermione. He couldn't let them know.
He entered the common room.
No one noticed the portrait hole opening by itself. Harry walked invisibly and silently through the Gryffindor common room and went up the stairs to the fifth year dormitory. Ron looked up from the Marauder's Map as Harry entered.
Harry took off the cloak.
"Hello," said Ron, pleased to see his best friend safely return. Harry had given him permission to watch him with the map while he made the potion. Harry tried to act as if everything were normal.
"Hello, Ron. I'm going to bed now."
"Okay," Ron said. "I'll be in the common room with Hermione, then. Good night."
"Goodbye," Harry said, and Ron left the dormitory.
Harry sat on his bed, thinking. Should I just go to bed like normal? Maybe make it look like an accident? No, he decided, that just didn't feel right to him. He wanted to write Ron and Hermione each a note.
Harry got out a quill, some ink, and some parchment, and sighed, thinking what to write.
Dear Ron,
I know you'll probably be the one to find me. I just want you to know that you were a very good friend to me and the first friend I ever had. I also want you to know that this was for the best. I'm with my parents now. You're not in danger anymore because of me. That's why Colin Creevy died, because Voldemort thought he was my friend. It was my fault Voldemort came back, he's got my blood, and it's my fault Cedric Diggory was killed, and it's my fault Voldemort's been killing all those other people. Basically I've killed them. The world will be better off without me, they'll be glad to get rid of me. It's better for everyone this way.
Thank your family for being so kind to me. The Burrow and Hogwarts were the only places that ever really felt like home to me. And, even though this is hard for me, know that I died happy. It's finally going to be finished, and nothing could ever make me happier.
Goodbye,
Harry
Harry let out a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding and ran his fingers through his hair. Now it was time for Hermione's letter, and then he could go.
Dear Hermione,
I just want you to know that you were a very good friend to me. I don't know how I would ever have gotten through all my homework without you. You're very brave, and very smart, and I'm hoping you'll understand why I did this. You, Ron, the Weasleys, you're all safer now because you don't have ties to me anymore. I can't kill you. I've already killed too many people by helping Voldemort return. Just, please, remember this is for the best.
Goodbye,
Harry
Harry looked over the letters, and to Ron's added a P.S.
I'm sorry you feel overshadowed by your brothers. You really are a great person. You're very brave and have always been a very good friend to me. Thank you for that. Please understand why I had to do this.
Harry put away his ink and quill, and left the letters in the drawer in his bedside table, and started to cry. He then took the potion, closed the hangings on his bed, and downed the whole of the potion. He lay back peacefully as he felt warmth overtake him, and all went black.
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Harry thought of what he wanted the dreamless sleep potion to hide from, the horrors he'd caused. He didn't want to hide from it anymore. He only wanted everything to stop.
Still, he looked over the potions on the page. There, the dreamless sleep potion.
Harry resigned himself to making the potion rather than trying anything more drastic tonight. He really wasn't bad at potion-making, despite Professor Snape. Harry quietly made the potion, listening to Moaning Myrtle mope in her toilet. He read the next step in the book, then froze.
There was a side note in the instructions. It warned that if the next two ingredients in the potion were put in in the wrong order a lethal poison would result.
This is my chance. It would be so easy. I could make the potion incorrectly, pretend to go to sleep and no one would know till morning. And it won't get Ron and Hermione all worked up. This is perfect.
With shaking hands Harry added the next ingredients in the incorrect order and finished the potion. Then he put back on his Invisibility Cloak and left Moaning Myrtle's bathroom.
Harry walked carefully through the corridors, blood pounding in his ears. This is it. This is the end of everything. No more endangering people, no more guilt. The world will be free me, and I'll be free from it. I'll be with my parents, and the world will appreciate it.
Harry shook his head slightly, thoughts of Voldemort starting to seep in. He had to keep his composure in front of Ron and Hermione. He couldn't let them know.
He entered the common room.
No one noticed the portrait hole opening by itself. Harry walked invisibly and silently through the Gryffindor common room and went up the stairs to the fifth year dormitory. Ron looked up from the Marauder's Map as Harry entered.
Harry took off the cloak.
"Hello," said Ron, pleased to see his best friend safely return. Harry had given him permission to watch him with the map while he made the potion. Harry tried to act as if everything were normal.
"Hello, Ron. I'm going to bed now."
"Okay," Ron said. "I'll be in the common room with Hermione, then. Good night."
"Goodbye," Harry said, and Ron left the dormitory.
Harry sat on his bed, thinking. Should I just go to bed like normal? Maybe make it look like an accident? No, he decided, that just didn't feel right to him. He wanted to write Ron and Hermione each a note.
Harry got out a quill, some ink, and some parchment, and sighed, thinking what to write.
Dear Ron,
I know you'll probably be the one to find me. I just want you to know that you were a very good friend to me and the first friend I ever had. I also want you to know that this was for the best. I'm with my parents now. You're not in danger anymore because of me. That's why Colin Creevy died, because Voldemort thought he was my friend. It was my fault Voldemort came back, he's got my blood, and it's my fault Cedric Diggory was killed, and it's my fault Voldemort's been killing all those other people. Basically I've killed them. The world will be better off without me, they'll be glad to get rid of me. It's better for everyone this way.
Thank your family for being so kind to me. The Burrow and Hogwarts were the only places that ever really felt like home to me. And, even though this is hard for me, know that I died happy. It's finally going to be finished, and nothing could ever make me happier.
Goodbye,
Harry
Harry let out a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding and ran his fingers through his hair. Now it was time for Hermione's letter, and then he could go.
Dear Hermione,
I just want you to know that you were a very good friend to me. I don't know how I would ever have gotten through all my homework without you. You're very brave, and very smart, and I'm hoping you'll understand why I did this. You, Ron, the Weasleys, you're all safer now because you don't have ties to me anymore. I can't kill you. I've already killed too many people by helping Voldemort return. Just, please, remember this is for the best.
Goodbye,
Harry
Harry looked over the letters, and to Ron's added a P.S.
I'm sorry you feel overshadowed by your brothers. You really are a great person. You're very brave and have always been a very good friend to me. Thank you for that. Please understand why I had to do this.
Harry put away his ink and quill, and left the letters in the drawer in his bedside table, and started to cry. He then took the potion, closed the hangings on his bed, and downed the whole of the potion. He lay back peacefully as he felt warmth overtake him, and all went black.