TITLE: " Fundraisers, Fights, and New Feelings"
AUTHOR: Diane
FEEDBACK: ggfan@prodigy.net
DISCLAIMER: All characters belong to Amy Sherman-Palladino and the WB.
COMMENTS: Two scenes were pulled from a story I wrote months ago, but they fit well in this story. As always, any feedback is appreciated.
*************************
TEASER
INT. LUKE'S DINER - MORNING
RORY and LORELAI are sitting at a table at the diner, eating dinner.
LORELAI
I'm tired of my hair. I need a change.
RORY
Oh, man. Here we go again.
LORELAI
I'm thinking of bangs. What do you think?
RORY
I think you're never going to do it, so let's not even waste our time talking about it.
LORELAI
I could always let them grow out if I don't like them.
RORY
That's true.
LORELAI
But the problem is if I don't like them, I'm stuck with them for a while and growing out bangs is a nightmare, especially in that stage when they get really long so they're past your eyes so you look like the Shaggy DA, but not quite long enough to pull back in a ponytail. Then there's the Farrah hair.
RORY
Farrah hair?
LORELAI
You know, when the bangs start getting a little longer, past the eyebrows, you get the wings at the end?
RORY
You won't get the Farrah hair. Your hair is too thick and curly for that.
LORELAI
So, you think I should go with the bangs?
RORY
No, I don't.
LORELAI
Why not?
RORY
Because you'll hate them and complain the entire time you're growing them out and drive me crazy.
LORELAI
What if I promise I won't complain?
RORY
Ha! That's like promising you won't drink coffee. If you're going to do it, at least wait until I'm away at college, okay?
LUKE walks over to Lorelai and Rory and picks up their plates.
LORELAI
Luke, can I get your opinion on something?
LUKE
(wary)
About what?
LORELAI
I was thinking of changing my hair...
LUKE
(to Rory)
Not the whole blonde thing again.
RORY
No, she's finally over that. This is something different.
LORELAI
Tell me honestly. Do you think I should cut my hair and get bangs?
LUKE
(pause)
No comment.
LORELAI
Come on... I'm serious. Do you think bangs would look okay or should I keep my hair as is?
LUKE
I'm not answering that.
LORELAI
What is the big deal? I'm just asking a simple question.
LUKE
When it comes to women and their hair, there is no such thing as a simple question, or answer. I'm not going to say anything, so don't even ask.
RORY
Smart man.
Luke walks off.
LORELAI
(calling after Luke)
Thanks for the help!
(to Rory)
So, have you seen Dean yet?
RORY
No. Every time he sees me, he walks in the other direction. He hates me.
LORELAI
He doesn't hate you. He's just sad and hurt right now. He'll get over it in time.
RORY
I hope so. I feel so bad about hurting him.
LORELAI
I know you do, but it was the right thing to do.
(glances at her watch)
It's time for me to go to work. We'll talk some more about my hair later.
RORY
I can't wait.
Lorelai gives Rory a kiss and walks out of the diner just as LANE is coming in. Lane sits down and joins Rory.
LANE
I can't believe we only have one more week of summer!
RORY
I know. We need to make the most of it and do something fun.
LANE
It's funny that you should mention that...
JESS comes into the diner and walks over to Rory and Lane's table.
JESS
(to Lane and Rory)
Hey.
LANE
Hey.
RORY
Hey.
JESS
What are you guys up to?
RORY
Not much. We were just saying we can't believe there's only a week before school starts. We're just trying to figure out what to do.
LANE
I've got something in mind that I think would be fun.
RORY
Uh-oh. That sounds like trouble.
LANE
No trouble, just the risk of possible public humiliation.
RORY
What are you talking about?
LANE
The theater fundraiser.
RORY
(scared)
Oh, no.
JESS
What's this?
RORY
Each year at the end of summer, there's a fundraiser for the Stars Hollow Theater Company.
JESS
Stars Hollow has a theater company?
LANE
It's not real big. Basically, it's Miss Patty, Taylor, Kirk and a few others. You might have seen some of their Shakespeare in the Park performances.
JESS
I thought that was a comedy troupe.
LANE
Anyway, people from town perform in a show and tickets are sold to the show. All the proceeds go to the theater company for new costumes and stuff. This year, I thought we should be in it.
RORY
No way.
LANE
It'll be fun. We haven't spent any time together this summer. I think our friendship is suffering because of it.
RORY
(rolls her eyes)
Drama queen.
LANE
Come on. We're entering our senior year in high school. Live a little!
JESS
You should do it. It sounds like fun.
RORY
Easy for you to say. You'll be heckling from the back of the room.
JESS
Actually, I'll be heckling from the front of the room.
LANE
No, you won't, because you're going to be in the show, too.
JESS
No way.
RORY
(teasing, imitating Jess)
You should do it. It sounds like fun.
JESS
I don't think so.
LANE
Come on, you guys. I don't want to go down in flames without bringing as many people as possible down with me.
RORY
This is your way of trying to talk us into this thing?
LANE
Yes.
JESS
No.
LANE
(whiny)
Please... pretty please.
JESS
Stop with the whining.
LANE
(whiny, to Rory)
Please, please, please...
RORY
Stop!
(pause)
I'll do it if he does it.
(nods at Jess)
Lane and Rory look at Jess expectantly.
JESS
I can't believe I'm going to do this.
LANE
This is going to be great! I have to go help my mom at the store. We'll meet up later to discuss some ideas for the show, okay? I'm so excited!
Lane walks out. Rory and Jess look at each other like they can't believe what just happened.
JESS
Did I just agree to make a fool out of myself in public to raise money for a pitiful theater group?
RORY
Yep.
JESS
(pause)
I hate this town.
Jess walks away as Rory smiles after him.
END OF TEASER
***********************
ACT ONE
INT. DOOSE'S MARKET
Rory is shopping in Doose's Market. She walks up one of the aisles and sees DEAN, who is stocking some of the lower shelves. Dean looks over and sees Rory. He stands up. There is an awkward silence between them.
RORY
Hey.
DEAN
Hey.
RORY
How are you?
DEAN
Fine... busy.
Rory nods.
RORY
I didn't think you worked today.
DEAN
I picked up some extra shifts so I could keep my mind off... things.
RORY
That's good.
Uncomfortable silence.
RORY
(cont'd)
So, are you-
DEAN
Look, I'm pretty busy. I'll see you later.
Dean walks away.
Rory looks like she wants to say something to Dean, but doesn't.
INT. INDEPENDENCE INN - KITCHEN
Lorelai walks into the kitchen. SOOKIE and MICHEL are whispering and looking at a notebook.
LORELAI
Hey, guys, what are you looking at?
Michel and Sookie answer simultaneously.
SOOKIE
The dinner menu.
MICHEL
The reservation book.
Sookie puts the book behind her back.
LORELAI
Let me see.
SOOKIE
No. I can't.
Lorelai grabs for the book. Sookie squeals and throws the book at Michel. Michel bumbles the book and it falls on the floor. Lorelai snatches it up and starts reading.
SOOKIE
(to Michel, sarcastic)
Nice one.
MICHEL
I can't catch when I'm surprised.
LORELAI
The Luke and Lorelai Dating Pool? What the hell is this?
MICHEL
It was her idea.
Sookie gives Michel a dirty look.
LORELAI
You're making bets about Luke and me?
SOOKIE
It was just in fun. One day we started guessing about when you two would finally start dating...
LORELAI
This isn't guessing. It's betting.
MICHEL
It's more interesting when there's money on the line.
SOOKIE
The pot has really grown.
Lorelai is flipping through the pages.
LORELAI
Look at all these names. Is the whole town on this list?
SOOKIE
No... of course not.
(beat)
You're not.
MICHEL
And neither is Luke.
SOOKIE
Rory and I aren't playing, either. Rory wasn't allowed to because she's your daughter. I got kicked out on a technicality.
(to Michel)
I'm still planning on filing a complaint with the commissioner.
LORELAI
Who's the commissioner?
SOOKIE
Kirk.
LORELAI
What was the technicality?
MICHEL
She cheated. She planned her wedding around the date she picked you two would start dating. She figured you would ask Luke to the wedding and you would see him all dressed up and you would dance and fall in love.
SOOKIE
You can't prove I did that on purpose.
(to Lorelai)
It figures you would have to get into a fight right before the wedding, though.
LORELAI
(flipping through the pages)
First date, first kiss, first time... hey!
SOOKIE
Maybe we crossed the line a bit on that one.
LORELAI
Break up date? We're not even dating and you have us breaking up already. That's a little morbid, isn't it?
MICHEL
Aren't you a participant in three Dead Celebrity pools?
LORELAI
Okay, I'll let that one slide.
Michel leaves.
SOOKIE
So, seriously, what's been going on with you and Luke?
LORELAI
Here we go. I knew once you got married you'd be all over my love life. Why is that when people get married, they immediately try to marry off their friends?
SOOKIE
It's fun.
(beat)
I'm not trying to marry you off, it's just so obvious that Luke has feelings for you, and that you have feelings for him.
LORELAI
I thought you said last week that you thought he didn't like me.
SOOKIE
I'm modifying that. I think he's convinced himself that he doesn't like you anymore, but deep down, he still does.
LORELAI
You spend entirely too much time thinking about this. Luke and I already know each other. It would be so weird if we started dating. It'd be like dating my brother or something.
SOOKIE
If you looked at a brother the way you look at Luke, I'd book you on Jerry Springer myself.
LORELAI
Oh, come on. So we flirt a little sometimes. That doesn't mean anything.
SOOKIE
Are you trying to tell me you don't like him in that way?
LORELAI
I don't know. Sometimes I think so, and then other times I don't.
SOOKIE
Well, we need to find out.
(beat)
Close your eyes.
LORELAI
What?
SOOKIE
Close your eyes!
Lorelai closes your eyes.
SOOKIE (cont'd)
(dreamy)
Picture Luke. He's wearing jeans and a flannel shirt. He's-
LORELAI
And a baseball cap.
SOOKIE
And a baseball cap. He's-
LORELAI
Backwards.
SOOKIE
(annoyed)
A backwards baseball cap.
(dreamy)
He's got the scruffy beard thing going. You come in to see him one night at the diner. It's late and-
Lorelai opens her eyes.
LORELAI
Okay, Danielle Steele. I see where this is going.
SOOKIE
Don't interrupt... and keep your eyes closed!
Lorelai rolls her eyes and then closes them.
SOOKIE (cont'd)
It's late and you two are the only ones in the diner. You ask for coffee. You do your bantering thing and then he leans over to pour your coffee.
LORELAI
(dreamy)
Mmm... coffee.
SOOKIE
But wait... he doesn't have a coffee pot in his hand... so why is he leaning over?
(gasp)
He's moving in for a kiss. You...
A) Jump up and run away because gross, he's like your brother.
B) Lean in to kiss him back. You've been waiting for this moment a long time.
LORELAI
C) Throw him on the counter and jump his bones.
SOOKIE
I knew it!
LORELAI
I was kidding.
SOOKIE
Come on, what was your first reaction?
LORELAI
I don't know. It's so complicated! Besides, I have sensitive skin. He'd have to shave before I make any decision.
SOOKIE
You're hopeless.
LORELAI
I'm sorry, I just can't picture it. I guess I always pictured Christopher and I together.
SOOKIE
Honey, that ship has sailed. He's having a baby with someone else.
LORELAI
I know. It happened so recently, though. I just can't think about anyone else right now. Besides, I really don't want to risk messing up my friendship with Luke. If we started dating and it didn't work out, I wouldn't want to lose him as a friend.
SOOKIE
Okay, but don't come crying to me when you finally wake up and realize that you want to be with Luke and it's too late because he's already moved on and married with a couple little Luke's running around with little baseball caps.
LORELAI
You see him married with kids in the future?
SOOKIE
I don't know. I was just making a point that he's not going to wait around for you forever. I'm sure there are plenty of women out there that would be more than willing to go out with him.
Rory walks into the kitchen, looking depressed.
SOOKIE
Hi, sweetie.
RORY
(dejected)
Hey.
SOOKIE
What's wrong?
RORY
I just saw Dean at the market. He could barely look at me, never mind talk to me.
SOOKIE
Oh, honey. It's just going to take a little time before you'll be able to act normally around each other. How are you feeling about everything?
RORY
I feel guilty that I hurt Dean. I also feel sad and lonely, but worst of all...
Rory hangs her head, looking guilty and embarrassed.
LORELAI
You feel relieved that it's over?
RORY
Yes! How did you know?
LORELAI
Honey, everything you're feeling is natural. Dean was your first boyfriend, your first love. I know you feel guilty about hurting him, but if you kept seeing him and didn't feel the same way he did, that would have been unfair to him.
RORY
I guess so.
SOOKIE
Would you want to be with someone who didn't want to be with you?
RORY
No, I guess not.
LORELAI
Believe me, you wouldn't. It never feels good to break up with someone, but when it's not working out, for whatever the reason, you can't help but feel a little relieved when it's over.
RORY
I hate how awkward things are between us now. Do you think Dean and I will ever be able to be friends?
LORELAI
I think so. It's just going to take some time before you really see how things stand. Dean is a great guy. Sooner or later he'll realize that this was for the best because it's better to be alone than to be with someone who doesn't feel the same way about you.
RORY
I hope so. Well, I'm going to go meet Lane for lunch. I'll see you later.
SOOKIE
Hang in there, honey.
Rory leaves.
SOOKIE
Poor kid. It really sucks being a teenager and breaking up with your first love.
LORELAI
(sighs)
Yeah, it does.
SOOKIE
It also sucks being an adult who breaks up with their first love.
LORELAI
Yeah, but at least I could have a couple margaritas to dull the pain.
INT. LUKE'S DINER
Jess is working in the diner. There are a few people there for lunch. Lane walks in.
LANE
Hey, Jess.
JESS
Hey.
LANE
I'm meeting Rory for lunch. We're going to go over some ideas for the show.
JESS
I know. You left me a message telling me what time to be here.
LANE
Right. So, I guess I'll just sit over at that table and wait for Rory.
JESS
Okay. Do you want something to drink?
LANE
How about a Coke?
JESS
Sure.
Lane goes over and sits down at a table and opens her notebook. Jess walks over with her drink.
LANE
Thanks.
(pause)
So, it's been a over a week since Dean and Rory broke up.
JESS
I guess.
LANE
You don't seem too interested in how she's doing.
JESS
Why would I be?
LANE
Everyone in town has asked me how she's doing since the breakup. I thought you two were friends, but you seem to go out of your way to NOT ask how she's doing.
JESS
No, I don't.
LANE
(disbelieving)
Okay.
Awkward silence.
JESS
Well?
LANE
Well, what?
JESS
How is she?
LANE
I thought you weren't interested.
JESS
Forget it.
LANE
She's okay. I mean, she's a little down in the dumps, but she knew it wasn't working out with Dean. She'll be fine.
JESS
I don't know what she saw in him to begin with.
LANE
What do you mean? Dean's a great guy.
JESS
(shrugs)
I just didn't see them together.
LANE
That's a shocker.
JESS
What do you mean?
LANE
Nothing.
Rory comes into the diner and joins Lane and Jess.
RORY
Hey. Sorry I'm late.
LANE
No problem. I just got here.
(pause)
Why don't you guys sit down and join me?
Rory and Jess sit down at the table.
LANE (cont'd)
So, team, any ideas on what we should do for the show?
JESS
I don't sing or dance.
RORY
And I can't play any musical instruments.
LANE
Well, I guess the musical idea is out.
Lane crosses an item off her list.
LANE
(continued)
Do you have any special talents?
RORY
Lane, you're my best friend. You know I don't have any creative talent at all.
LANE
I guess that leaves acting. We'll have to do a play.
JESS
Boorring.
LANE
It doesn't have to be serious. We can do a sketch or something.
RORY
Comedy?
JESS
That's not a bad idea. What's it going to be about?
LANE
I have no idea. We'll keep it grounded in reality. That's where a lot of great comedy comes from.
RORY
Our reality isn't too exciting. We're pretty much at school, home, or here.
LANE
That's it!
RORY
What's it?
LANE
Luke's. The diner.
RORY
What about it?
LANE
We can base the sketch around the diner.
JESS
Believe me, nothing fun or exciting happens here. The only amusing thing is watching Luke get annoyed all the time.
(imitating Luke)
Taylor, get the hell out of my diner!
LANE
That's it! It can be like a typical day at the diner, you know, with Luke and Taylor fighting and stuff, but we'll throw in some unexpected twists and make it funny. Jess, you can play Luke. And Rory, you can be Lorelai.
RORY
(to Lane)
Who will you be?
LANE
(pause)
You!
(pause)
We need someone to play Taylor, Luke's nemesis.
RORY
How about Kirk?
LANE
Good idea. I'll ask him. This is going to be great! Okay, so let's get to work on the story...
Rory, Lane, and Jess talk about the story during the fade out to commercial.
END OF ACT ONE
***********************
ACT TWO
INT. LUKE'S DINER - AFTERNOON
TAYLOR is talking with Luke. Jess is clearing off tables.
LUKE
Taylor, how many times do I have to tell you? No.
TAYLOR
Okay, fine. I'm not going to beg.
LUKE
Good.
TAYLOR
(pause)
But as a sponsor for the fundraiser, think of all the publicity you would receive because your name would appear on the back of the program.
LUKE
For the last time, no! Now get out of my diner if you're not going to order anything.
TAYLOR
You are impossible!
Taylor walks out of the diner. Luke looks at Jess in exasperation.
LUKE
He drives me nuts.
JESS
I think you drive each other nuts.
Jess gets a half-smile on his face.
LUKE
What?
JESS
What?
LUKE
You're smiling.
JESS
So? That happens occasionally.
LUKE
You think it's funny? If I wind up in the loony bin, it'll be Taylor's fault.
JESS
Make sure you bring a cardigan. Those loony bins can get a little chilly.
LUKE
(sarcastic)
That's funny.
JESS
(looks at his watch)
My shift is over. I'm going out. I'll see you later.
LUKE
Yeah, okay.
Jess leaves the diner.
EXT. LANE'S HOUSE - LATE AFTERNOON
RORY
So, I was at the market earlier and I saw Dean.
LANE
Oh, man. How was it?
RORY
It was terrible. He would barely look at me or talk to me.
LANE
Well, it's got to be tough on him. It's just going to take some time.
RORY
That's what everyone keeps saying.
Rory sees Jess and a blonde girl walking down the street.
RORY
Who is that?
LANE
I'm not sure what her name is.
Jess looks over and sees Rory looking at them.
RORY
Are they going out?
LANE
I don't know. I've seen them together a few times but I don't know if it's anything romantic or not.
(pause)
I never pictured him with a blonde.
RORY
I never thought about it.
LANE
(disbelieving)
Right.
The girl says something to Jess and he nods and the girl walks off. Jess walks over to Rory and Lane.
JESS
Hey.
LANE
Hey.
RORY
Hey.
JESS
I thought of an idea for Luke's character for the show.
LANE
That's great! Let me go grab a pen and paper so I can write it down.
Lane runs inside the house.
RORY
So, who's your friend?
JESS
Just someone I met during summer school. She's new.
RORY
So you thought you'd show her around town, make her feel at home.
JESS
Something like that.
RORY
That's good that you've made some new friends here.
JESS
Yeah, it is. You can never have enough friends, right?
RORY
Right.
Lane comes out with a pen and notebook.
RORY
Um, I need to get going. I've got dinner at my grandparents tonight. I'll see you guys tomorrow, okay?
LANE
Okay. See you tomorrow.
Rory walks off.
INT. RICHARD AND EMILY'S HOUSE - FRI. NIGHT
RICHARD, EMILY, Rory and Lorelai are at the dinner table. They have just finished eating.
EMILY
So, Rory, you must be excited that school is almost starting.
RORY
I am. I can't believe I'm going to be a senior.
RICHARD
It's soon time for you to start applying to colleges, isn't it?
LORELAI
Yep. Harvard, here she comes.
RICHARD
Well, that sounds wonderful.
(pause)
Have you planned on any alternative courses of action in case you wind up not going to Harvard?
LORELAI
Dad, drop it.
RICHARD
What, Lorelai? I know Rory is brilliant, but a lot of smart people apply to Harvard and not everyone gets accepted.
RORY
(worried)
You don't think I'll get in?
RICHARD
I'm sure you will. I know you have your heart set on Harvard, and I do sincerely hope you get in, but it's always wise to keep your options open. I don't know if you remember, but I happened to go to Yale. With my considerable donations and your excellent school record, you're a shoo-in.
EMILY
Plus, you'd be close to home.
RORY
You think I should go to Yale instead?
LORELAI
Mom, Dad, stop it. Rory is going to Harvard, and that's the end of the story.
EMILY
We know she wants to go to Harvard, but it would be irresponsible not to have a backup plan just in case she had to go somewhere else, so why not look into colleges closer to home?
RORY
Well, there are a lot of good schools in this area.
RICHARD
Of course there are!
RORY
You really think I might not get in?
EMILY
I'm sure you will, but the field is so competitive and more people than ever are applying to college. I read somewhere that Harvard receives so many applications that people with perfect SAT scores don't even get in.
RORY
(worried)
I'm not going to get perfect SAT scores. I didn't even get perfect PSAT scores.
LORELAI
It's not all about the SAT scores. They also look at extracurricular activities.
RORY
I don't have many of those! I was too busy studying to get less-than-perfect SAT scores and mediocre grades.
LORELAI
Mediocre grades?
(to Richard and Emily)
It's time for us to go. Rory, can you wait out in the car for a minute?
EMILY
Don't be ridiculous. We haven't had dessert yet.
LORELAI
(angry)
We're going... now.
(to Rory)
Rory, please.
RORY
(confused)
Okay. Good night, Grandma. Good night, Grandpa.
Rory leaves the dining room.
RICHARD
Now, Lorelai, before you get-
LORELAI
Rory has dreamt her whole life of going to Harvard. How dare you put doubts in her head that she can't get in or make her feel guilty for leaving home.
RICHARD
We were doing no such thing.
LORELAI
Yes, you were! You're trying to get her to do what you want her to do, rather than what she wants to do.
EMILY
We most certainly are not. We are not discouraging her from going to Harvard. We just want her to keep her options open. What's wrong with that?
LORELAI
You're just trying to find ways to keep her close to you. You want her to go to Yale so she'll feel indebted to you because you helped her get in and you want her close to home so we can keep up with these Friday night blackmail parties. You're trying to control her the way you control everyone else... the way you tried to control me when I was her age.
EMILY
I'm not trying to control her, but I admit I'm afraid that when Rory leaves for college, we're not going to see either of you anymore.
LORELAI
I'm not going anywhere, Mom. Why wouldn't I see you?
EMILY
Oh, come off it, Lorelai. You just said it yourself. The only reason we see you now is because you're forced to.
LORELAI
As you never let me forget, that was the term of our agreement for loaning me the money for Chilton. You use your money to control people. You always have. That's why I'm going to pay you back as soon as I can.
EMILY
Which you never let us forget, either.
LORELAI
Meaning what?
EMILY
Meaning that the second we stop paying for Rory's education, you won't be coming to dinner anymore. Richard, we better sign on now to pay for Rory's college so we'll be guaranteed four more years of contact with our daughter.
LORELAI
That's not true.
EMILY
Yes, it is. All we are is a wallet to you. You say we're controlling, but who's really doing the controlling here, Lorelai? You run away and take our granddaughter and we barely see you for 15 years. Then when you do come to see us, it's only because you need money.
LORELAI
Don't make me sound so money-grubbing. The only reason I came to you for anything was for Rory, not for me.
EMILY
I know very well you wouldn't have asked us for anything for yourself. That way you can think we've never done anything for you and resent us for it. You purposely stayed away from us for years and now you hold it against us that we don't know you. You put us in the position where we had to force you to come spend time with us, and you hold that against us, too. It all works out for you, though, because whatever we do and whatever we say is always going to be wrong and you can remain angry with us for the rest of your life.
LORELAI
Why would I come and see you on my own? All you ever do is criticize me, try to change me, and run my life for me. Nothing I ever do is good enough for you.
EMILY
Now you know how I feel. I can't doing anything right in your eyes. I don't think I can bear another week of you sitting at the table acting like you'd rather be anywhere else in the world.
LORELAI
I didn't say I didn't want to come to dinner. I just don't want to be forced to be here.
EMILY
Don't worry. We'll still pay for Rory's schooling. There's no reason she should suffer because of this. She's old enough to make her own decisions and I hope she'll still come see us on her own.
RICHARD
Now, let's not say anything that you're going to regret later.
EMILY
(to Richard)
I meant what I said. Every week, she sits at this table and lets it be known that she doesn't want to be here.
(to Lorelai)
I used to think that bribing you to spend time with us was better than not seeing you at all, but it's not. You should be happy, you're off the hook.
LORELAI
Are you seriously saying you don't want me to come over for dinner anymore?
EMILY
That's right.
LORELAI
Fine.
RICHARD
Lorelai, wait. Don't leave like this.
Lorelai storms out of the house.
INT. LORELAI'S CAR - MOMENTS LATER
Lorelai hops in the car and slams the door shut.
RORY
What happened?
LORELAI
Good news. We don't have to go Friday night dinners anymore.
RORY
We don't have to go or we were asked not to go anymore?
LORELAI
Same difference.
RORY
They're right, you know.
LORELAI
What do you mean?
RORY
I've done everything I can, but there's no guarantee I'm going to get into Harvard. I need to think about alternatives.
LORELAI
I knew they were making you doubt yourself. I'm sorry, honey.
RORY
Mom, you're not listening. I always intended on applying to other schools as backups. The only reason I freaked out a little bit in there is because I've been having my own doubts about getting into Harvard and hearing it spoken out loud from someone else makes the possibility seem more real. I might not get into Harvard and it scares me because that's all I've ever wanted.
LORELAI
Rory, I'm sure you'll get in.
RORY
I appreciate your confidence that I'll get in, I do, but we have to be realistic. There is the possibility that I'm not going to get in and I need to be prepared for that.
LORELAI
That does make sense, but please don't feel pressured to apply to Yale just because your grandfather went there. There are so many colleges out there. You should apply where you want to.
RORY
I don't feel pressured. Yale is a great school and it is close to home. It makes sense to apply there. You know, just because Grandma and Grandpa brought up some alternatives to Harvard doesn't mean they don't think I'll get in or they're not being supportive. They were just being practical and they were right.
LORELAI
Shh... the driveway might be bugged. You can't let them know when they're right about something. It'll just encourage them to try it more often.
Lorelai starts up the car.
RORY
Aren't you going to go talk to them?
LORELAI
Not right now. We all need to cool off a little bit.
RORY
Mom-
LORELAI
Rory, this is between your grandparents and I. It's something I need to deal with, okay?
RORY
Okay.
END OF ACT TWO
****************************
ACT THREE
INT. LORELAI'S HOUSE - FRIDAY AFTERNOON
Rory walks by Lorelai on the way out the door.
RORY
Bye, Mom. I'm going over to Lane's.
LORELAI
Wait one sec. I want to talk to you about something.
RORY
Okay.
LORELAI
I saw Taylor today.
RORY
Uh-huh.
LORELAI
I was buying tickets for the fundraiser and he was wondering why I was asking for two tickets instead of one. Care to share anything?
RORY
(uncomfortable)
Oh, yeah... I must've forgotten to tell you. I'm going to, um, be in the show this year.
LORELAI
You're kidding.
RORY
Lane talked me into it. She thought it would be fun.
LORELAI
Why didn't you tell me?
RORY
Because I knew you would make a big deal about it.
LORELAI
What do you mean? I think it's great! I hope you don't think that just because you're my daughter, I'll refrain from heckling you.
RORY
Unfortunately, I know better.
LORELAI
So, what are you doing?
RORY
It's a secret.
LORELAI
I won't tell anyone, I swear.
RORY
I'm not telling you.
LORELAI
Honey, I love you, but for your own good, I can't allow you to get up in public and sing.
RORY
We're not singing.
LORELAI
What about dancing?
RORY
There's no dancing, either.
LORELAI
Phew. So, if you're not singing or dancing, it must be some sort of play.
RORY
I'm not telling you what we're doing.
LORELAI
Hmm... you're doing a play and you won't tell me what it's about, which probably means that I'm in it.
RORY
You've got quite an ego.
LORELAI
Evasive answer. I think I'm right about this.
RORY
You got me.
LORELAI
I did?
RORY
Yep.
LORELAI
My powers of deduction amaze even me sometimes. Come on... give me a little sample of what I sound like.
RORY
Okay, let me know how this sounds.
(imitates Faye Dunaway in Mommie Dearest)
NO. WIRE. HANGERS. EVER!
LORELAI
Now I'm going to heckle and throw things at you on stage.
RORY
Can I go now? We need to rehearse.
LORELAI
Please do.
RORY
(backs out of the room)
Christina!
INT. LUKE'S DINER - AFTERNOON
Luke and Taylor are talking.
TAYLOR
I'm only going to ask one last time. Are you certain that you don't want to be a sponsor for the fundraiser on Saturday? Your name would appear on the brochure we're going to hand out. It's tax-deductible and good advertising.
LUKE
(exasperated)
No.
TAYLOR
Do you at least want to buy some tickets to the show? It's for charity.
LUKE
No.
TAYLOR
Why not?
LUKE
Once you start contributing to these things, people will be in here constantly asking for money - the book club, the hospital, the Horticulture Society.
TAYLOR
All good causes, I might add. Aren't you concerned that our theater company doesn't even have enough money for new costumes or scenery?
LUKE
Not especially.
TAYLOR
I have to say, I'm very disappointed in you. Even your hooligan nephew understands the importance of the performing arts.
LUKE
He does?
TAYLOR
Yes, he does and I would think that with Jess being in the show, you would at least come out to support him.
LUKE
Jess is in the show?
TAYLOR
Yes.
LUKE
My nephew Jess is in the show?
TAYLOR
(rolls his eyes)
Yes.
LUKE
Well, this I have to see. Put me down for a ticket.
TAYLOR
Just one? It is for charity, after all. Maybe you might want to take a lady friend with you?
LUKE
Will you leave my diner right now if I buy two tickets?
TAYLOR
Yes.
LUKE
I'll take two.
TAYLOR
Wonderful. While I'm here, I wanted to talk you about-
LUKE
Goodbye, Taylor.
Taylor leaves the diner. Jess comes down the stairs.
LUKE
So, listen, I've got plans on Saturday night. I was wondering if you could work that night and close up for me?
JESS
Sorry, I can't.
LUKE
I know it's Saturday, but I'll pay you extra.
JESS
I really can't. I already made plans.
LUKE
You can't break them?
JESS
Um, no. I've got a lot of studying to do...
LUKE
Studying? I thought summer school was over.
JESS
Uh, yeah. I'm trying to get a jump on next year...
(beat)
You know, don't you?
LUKE
(smiles)
Yep.
JESS
You're going to give me a hard time now, right?
LUKE
Yep.
JESS
Great.
LUKE
I didn't know you were into this kind of stuff.
JESS
I'm not.
LUKE
Then why are you doing it?
JESS
(shrugs)
I thought it would be fun.
LUKE
You thought it would be fun?
JESS
Yes.
LUKE
Who else is in this thing?
JESS
Lane, Rory, and Kirk.
LUKE
Well, that explains the sudden interest in theater.
JESS
I don't know what you're talking about.
LUKE
Please... are you trying to tell me you would've done this if Rory wasn't in it?
JESS
I just thought it would be fun, okay?
LUKE
Whatever you say.
Jess walks out of the diner.
INT. LORELAI'S HOUSE - EVENING
Lorelai is in the kitchen, about to make some coffee.
There's a knock on the door. Lorelai answers the door and finds Richard and Emily outside.
LORELAI
(surprised)
Hi.
RICHARD
Hello, Lorelai.
LORELAI
What are you doing here? I mean, I'm sorry, I just wasn't expecting to see you.
EMILY
I didn't expect to be here, either. Your father lied to me about where we were going.
RICHARD
Apparently my wife is as stubborn as my daughter. This is the only thing I could think of to get us all talking.
LORELAI
Why don't you come in?
RICHARD
Thank you.
Richard and Emily come inside.
LORELAI
I was going to call. I just haven't had a chance to get around to it yet.
EMILY
Perhaps we should leave her alone, Richard, if she's so terribly busy she doesn't have time to make a phone call.
LORELAI
My phone doesn't just make outgoing calls, Mom. I can receive them, too.
RICHARD
Now, now. I didn't get us all together so we could fight again.
LORELAI
But we're so good at it.
RICHARD
I don't want you to completely withdraw yourself from us again. Even though she won't say so, that would destroy your mother... and me, as well.
LORELAI
I know, I'm sorry. I think it's instinct. There's always been so much tension between us that I think it's easier sometimes to stay away from each other and not deal with it than to fight all the time.
RICHARD
I don't want to go another 15 years with all this tension and anger between us. Tell me what we need to do so that won't happen again.
LORELAI
Your coming over here is a step in the right direction. I was going to make some coffee. Do you want any?
RICHARD
That would be wonderful, thank you.
They head into the kitchen.
LORELAI
I'm really glad you came over. I don't want to go back to the way things were, either. I owe you both an apology. You've been making an effort the last few years to try to patch things up and I haven't given you much slack. I tend to be overly critical because I still have some issues about the past I need to deal with.
EMILY
I suppose that I can be a little critical myself.
LORELAI
A little?
EMILY
Okay, a lot. I do it because I just want what's best for you, but I'll try to tone it down.
(beat)
I also owe you an apology about what I said about us only being a wallet to you. That was untrue and unfair to say.
RICHARD
Now, about these Friday night dinners...
LORELAI
I'd like to keep coming to dinner, but I want it to be a little more relaxed.
EMILY
Relaxed?
LORELAI
I don't mean relaxed in a "let's get drunk" kind of way. I just don't want it to be required for us to go as a condition of the money you gave me for school. It should be more of a social get-together that we want to go to, not have to go to. And maybe sometimes you can come here or we can go out to eat.
RICHARD
That is more than fair. And about the college applications, I didn't-
LORELAI
Rory should have some other options available to her just in case she doesn't get accepted at Harvard. Since she's going to apply to some other schools, there's no reason why Yale shouldn't be one of them.
RICHARD
I am proud of my alma mater, but I must admit I was pushing Yale a little bit because Rory would be closer to home.
LORELAI
I understand that. You and Rory have a great relationship. To be honest, if she doesn't get into Harvard, I wouldn't mind having her closer to home, either.
EMILY
These past two years have been wonderful for me because it seemed like we were getting along better, but there's always been an underlying current of resentment you have towards us because of what happened in the past.
LORELAI
I promise, I'll make an effort not to dwell on the past so much.
RICHARD
Well, I think we can all agree that we made mistakes in the past. Why don't we try to make a fresh start with each other?
EMILY
A fresh start sounds like a wonderful idea to me.
LORELAI
Yeah, it does.
(pretending she's talking to a stranger)
So, tell me, do you have any children?
Richard and Emily start laughing.
EMILY
Oh, yes. A daughter. She's wonderful, but quite a handful.
LORELAI
(laughs)
I'm sure she is.
They continue talking in a friendly fashion.
END OF ACT THREE
***************************
ACT FOUR
INT. STAGE - MISS PATTY'S DANCE STUDIO - SATURDAY NIGHT
Taylor is announcing the last act to perform.
TAYLOR
.... And now, I'm pleased to present Lane, Rory, Kirk, and Jess in "Diner Days."
Luke looks surprised and worried that the skit is called "Diner Days." The curtain opens. Jess is dressed up like Luke in jeans, a flannel shirt, and a backwards baseball cap. He is standing behind a counter and chairs and he's wiping off the counter with a rag. There is a big "No Cell Phone" sign next to him on the wall.
Kirk opens the door and comes onto the stage. He's dressed as Taylor, wearing a fake beard and a cardigan sweater.
JESS
What do you want, Taylor?
KIRK
Such hostility. How do you know I'm not just coming in for something to eat?
JESS
Whenever you come in here carrying a clipboard, it means you want money, you're going to complain about something, or try to get me to put up some idiotic decorations. So just tell me what you're doing here so I can say no and we can get on with our day.
KIRK
As president of the Stars Hollow Aesthetics Committee...
JESS
(raises his arm)
Here it comes.
KIRK
It has been brought to my attention that your floor tiles are not the proper size and-
JESS
Floor tiles? You know, I used to joke about your being crazy, but now I realize that you really are insane and I feel bad about the joking.
KIRK
It may seem silly to you, but there are people in this town that take this seriously.
JESS
(bangs his hands on the counter in frustration)
Damn it, Taylor! I am not ripping up my floor and installing new tile.
KIRK
All I'm saying is that if you don't want to be at the top of S.H.A.C. violators list, you'll abide by the rules and change those floor tiles ASAP.
JESS
You know, I've created my own list and you're at the top of it.
KIRK
And what list is that?
JESS
The Stars Hollow Insane Townies.
KIRK
There is no S.H.I.-
(frustrated)
You are impossible!
Kirk walks out the door and Rory, dressed as Lorelai, enters.
RORY
Hey, Luke.
JESS
Lorelai.
RORY
(talking very quickly)
I was walking over here and I hadn't had any coffee yet so I started feeling faint. I almost passed out by Doose's Market, but I thought they might try to feed me some fruit or vegetables, so I mustered up the last little bit of energy I had to make it over here, but now I'm feeling a little woozy.
(weaves back and forth)
I don't think I can last another minute without...
(slumps on the counter)
JESS
Would it kill you to ask for coffee like a normal person?
Jess pours a cup of coffee into a to go cup and hands it to Rory.
RORY
What's this?
JESS
Coffee. What do you think?
RORY
Why is it in a to-go cup?
JESS
Because it's almost closing time.
RORY
So?
JESS
(slowly)
So, I'm going to be closing the diner soon and you're going to want to take your coffee with you when you leave.
Lane comes in wearing a Harvard sweatshirt.
LANE
Hey, Luke. Hey, Mom.
RORY
Hi, honey.
LANE
Can I get some coffee, please?
Jess pours Lane coffee in a to-go cup and gives the cup to her.
JESS
(to Rory)
See how a normal person asks for something?
(to Lane)
How did you turn out so well with this nutcase as your mother?
LANE
Just lucky, I guess.
RORY
Luke is closing up the diner soon and he's going to kick us out without giving us any dinner.
LANE
You're going to send us home on empty stomachs?
JESS
You have a stove, or in your case, a microwave, at your house. Doesn't it ever occur to you to use it?
RORY
(weaves back and forth)
What? I can't hear you. You sound so far away. I think I'm going to...
(Rory slumps her head on the counter. She elbows Lane to follow suit)
LANE
I don't know if I can make it all the way home without any din...
(Lane slumps her head on the counter)
JESS
Nice try, Goldie and Kate. I really am closing and you really do have to leave.
Lane and Rory get up from the counter.
LANE
I think of us more as Ingrid and Isabella.
RORY
Or Blythe and Gwyneth.
JESS
Out.
(makes a scoot motion with his hands)
RORY
Fine. See if you see us here first thing tomorrow morning.
JESS
Tomorrow is Sunday. You're never here first thing in the morning.
Rory and Lane walk towards the door, followed by Jess.
LANE
We'll be here in the afternoon, but under protest.
JESS
See you tomorrow.
Rory and Lane walk out and Jess locks the door behind them. He flips the CLOSED sign around and dims the lights. He walks over and removes the No Cell Phones sign from the wall, revealing a TV and VCR. He places the remote to the TV on the counter. He gets a bowl and two drinks from under the counter and places them on top of the counter. There's a knock on the door. Jess opens the door and Kirk is there with a video in his hand.
JESS
Hey, Taylor, come on in. I was just getting everything ready.
KIRK
Great. Here you go.
Kirk hands Jess the video and Jess pops it into the VCR.
JESS
Finally, I can take this damn flannel shirt off. I hate them!
KIRK
Oh, I know what you mean. These cardigans are incredibly hot.
Jess and Kirk start unbuttoning their shirts. The audience looks shocked. Luke looks horrified.
MISS PATTY
(to Babette)
Now this is getting good.
BABETTE
Oh, yeah.
Jess and Kirk take their shirts off and it's revealed that they are wearing Star Trek shirts underneath. They sit down at the counter. Jess picks up the remote, aims it towards the TV and presses PLAY. Star Trek: The Wrath of Khan begins playing. Jess and Kirk clink their drinks together in a toast, take a drink, and lean back in their chairs to watch the movie. The curtain closes. Everyone in the audience is laughing and starts clapping.
CUT TO:
EXT. PATTY'S DANCE STUDIO
Sookie, Jackson, Luke, and Lorelai are gathered. They are talking about the show.
JACKSON
That was classic. I hope somebody got that on tape.
LORELAI
For a minute there, I thought we were going off-off-off-Broadway.
LUKE
(to Lorelai)
I'm assuming that you had some input into this thing?
LORELAI
As much as I would love to take credit, I really didn't know anything about it.
LUKE
Well, I have to admit, they've got you down to a science.
LORELAI
I am not that whiny and demanding... am I?
Kirk walks up before Luke has a chance to answer.
KIRK
So, what did you think?
LORELAI
That was great. You made a perfect Taylor.
KIRK
Thanks.
SOOKIE
And those outfits were great. Where did you find the Star Trek shirts?
KIRK
Find them? I've got a bunch of them at home.
(looks over and sees Taylor walking towards him)
Excuse me.
Kirk walks off as Taylor walks quickly after him.
TAYLOR
Kirk, wait just one minute! I want to talk to you, young man.
Rory, Lane, and Jess walk up to Lorelai, Luke, Sookie, and Jackson. Sookie and Lorelai hug Rory and Lane.
RORY
So, what did you think?
LORELAI
I looked a little bit like a mental patient, but besides that, I thought it was great.
SOOKIE
Really, it was so great.
They are all very excited. Sookie and Lorelai continue heaping praise on Rory and Lane. Luke and Jess stand next to each other, looking a little uncomfortable.
LUKE
(awkward, to Jess)
Um, that was... good. You were, um, you were good.
JESS
(nods)
Thanks.
Luke looks he's not sure if he should hug Jess. After a moment, he reaches over and gives Jess a noogie on his head.
JESS
(shocked)
What are you doing?
LUKE
(embarrassed)
I have no idea.
Jess and Luke look uncomfortable. Rory walks over.
RORY
So, Luke, what did you think?
LUKE
My heart stopped for a minute there with the Taylor thing, but I have to admit, it turned out to be pretty funny. And you've got your mom down to a science.
Lorelai walks over.
LORELAI
Hey, I am not that bad!
LUKE
If you say so. If anyone is interested, I've got some cake and ice cream back at the diner.
RORY
You made us a cake? That's so nice.
LUKE
Yeah, yeah. Let's go.
INT. LUKE'S DINER
Luke is handing out pieces of cake.
LUKE
So, when do you think I might hear the end of the Star Trek jokes?
RORY
You won't hear another one from me, I promise. I just couldn't resist.
LUKE
And whose idea was it to have Taylor and I all buddy-buddy?
RORY
That was Jess' idea.
LUKE
(to Jess, jesting)
You're grounded.
LANE
You sound like my mom.
RORY
So, Lane, when are you going to let me hear you play the drums?
LANE
Well, I've got a key to the store...
Rory stands up.
RORY
Let's go.
LANE
Okay. My mom's not expecting me for a little while.
RORY
Bye, Mom. I'll see you at home.
LORELAI
Okay.
Rory and Lane start to walk out. Jess looks unsure what to do. Rory goes out the door first. Lane is about to go and then turns around.
LANE
Jess, you coming?
JESS
(to Luke)
Later.
Jess walks out and joins Lane and Rory.
LORELAI
This was quite a night.
LUKE
Yep. Not only did I get made fun of tonight, I made a fool out of myself, too.
LORELAI
You mean, the noogie?
LUKE
You saw that, huh?
LORELAI
Yep. It was a nice gesture.
LUKE
Yeah, for an eight year old. I just didn't know what to do. You guys were all hugging and kissing and we were just standing there and I felt like I should do something, but I didn't know if I should hug him or shake his hand or what.
LORELAI
So, you gave him a noogie.
LUKE
Yep.
LORELAI
Well, it's a good start. In time, maybe you'll be more comfortable with each other so this stuff will come more naturally.
LUKE
I don't know about that. I am really not good at this stuff.
LORELAI
Yes, you are. You need to give yourself a little more credit.
LUKE
You want some more coffee?
LORELAI
Do you even have to ask?
Luke leans over the counter. Lorelai's eyes get very wide. Luke looks at her questioningly and picks up Rory's plate that was next to her on the counter.
LUKE
What?
LORELAI
What?
LUKE
Why are you looking at me like that?
LORELAI
I'm not.
(beat)
I'm going to kill Sookie.
LUKE
Why's that?
LORELAI
No reason.
LUKE
Okay, then.
Luke puts the plate under the counter, gets the coffee pot and fills Lorelai's coffee cup.
LORELAI
Hey, Luke?
LUKE
Yeah?
LORELAI
I'm glad things are back to normal with us.
LUKE
Me, too.
FADE OUT.
END OF EPISODE
AUTHOR: Diane
FEEDBACK: ggfan@prodigy.net
DISCLAIMER: All characters belong to Amy Sherman-Palladino and the WB.
COMMENTS: Two scenes were pulled from a story I wrote months ago, but they fit well in this story. As always, any feedback is appreciated.
*************************
TEASER
INT. LUKE'S DINER - MORNING
RORY and LORELAI are sitting at a table at the diner, eating dinner.
LORELAI
I'm tired of my hair. I need a change.
RORY
Oh, man. Here we go again.
LORELAI
I'm thinking of bangs. What do you think?
RORY
I think you're never going to do it, so let's not even waste our time talking about it.
LORELAI
I could always let them grow out if I don't like them.
RORY
That's true.
LORELAI
But the problem is if I don't like them, I'm stuck with them for a while and growing out bangs is a nightmare, especially in that stage when they get really long so they're past your eyes so you look like the Shaggy DA, but not quite long enough to pull back in a ponytail. Then there's the Farrah hair.
RORY
Farrah hair?
LORELAI
You know, when the bangs start getting a little longer, past the eyebrows, you get the wings at the end?
RORY
You won't get the Farrah hair. Your hair is too thick and curly for that.
LORELAI
So, you think I should go with the bangs?
RORY
No, I don't.
LORELAI
Why not?
RORY
Because you'll hate them and complain the entire time you're growing them out and drive me crazy.
LORELAI
What if I promise I won't complain?
RORY
Ha! That's like promising you won't drink coffee. If you're going to do it, at least wait until I'm away at college, okay?
LUKE walks over to Lorelai and Rory and picks up their plates.
LORELAI
Luke, can I get your opinion on something?
LUKE
(wary)
About what?
LORELAI
I was thinking of changing my hair...
LUKE
(to Rory)
Not the whole blonde thing again.
RORY
No, she's finally over that. This is something different.
LORELAI
Tell me honestly. Do you think I should cut my hair and get bangs?
LUKE
(pause)
No comment.
LORELAI
Come on... I'm serious. Do you think bangs would look okay or should I keep my hair as is?
LUKE
I'm not answering that.
LORELAI
What is the big deal? I'm just asking a simple question.
LUKE
When it comes to women and their hair, there is no such thing as a simple question, or answer. I'm not going to say anything, so don't even ask.
RORY
Smart man.
Luke walks off.
LORELAI
(calling after Luke)
Thanks for the help!
(to Rory)
So, have you seen Dean yet?
RORY
No. Every time he sees me, he walks in the other direction. He hates me.
LORELAI
He doesn't hate you. He's just sad and hurt right now. He'll get over it in time.
RORY
I hope so. I feel so bad about hurting him.
LORELAI
I know you do, but it was the right thing to do.
(glances at her watch)
It's time for me to go to work. We'll talk some more about my hair later.
RORY
I can't wait.
Lorelai gives Rory a kiss and walks out of the diner just as LANE is coming in. Lane sits down and joins Rory.
LANE
I can't believe we only have one more week of summer!
RORY
I know. We need to make the most of it and do something fun.
LANE
It's funny that you should mention that...
JESS comes into the diner and walks over to Rory and Lane's table.
JESS
(to Lane and Rory)
Hey.
LANE
Hey.
RORY
Hey.
JESS
What are you guys up to?
RORY
Not much. We were just saying we can't believe there's only a week before school starts. We're just trying to figure out what to do.
LANE
I've got something in mind that I think would be fun.
RORY
Uh-oh. That sounds like trouble.
LANE
No trouble, just the risk of possible public humiliation.
RORY
What are you talking about?
LANE
The theater fundraiser.
RORY
(scared)
Oh, no.
JESS
What's this?
RORY
Each year at the end of summer, there's a fundraiser for the Stars Hollow Theater Company.
JESS
Stars Hollow has a theater company?
LANE
It's not real big. Basically, it's Miss Patty, Taylor, Kirk and a few others. You might have seen some of their Shakespeare in the Park performances.
JESS
I thought that was a comedy troupe.
LANE
Anyway, people from town perform in a show and tickets are sold to the show. All the proceeds go to the theater company for new costumes and stuff. This year, I thought we should be in it.
RORY
No way.
LANE
It'll be fun. We haven't spent any time together this summer. I think our friendship is suffering because of it.
RORY
(rolls her eyes)
Drama queen.
LANE
Come on. We're entering our senior year in high school. Live a little!
JESS
You should do it. It sounds like fun.
RORY
Easy for you to say. You'll be heckling from the back of the room.
JESS
Actually, I'll be heckling from the front of the room.
LANE
No, you won't, because you're going to be in the show, too.
JESS
No way.
RORY
(teasing, imitating Jess)
You should do it. It sounds like fun.
JESS
I don't think so.
LANE
Come on, you guys. I don't want to go down in flames without bringing as many people as possible down with me.
RORY
This is your way of trying to talk us into this thing?
LANE
Yes.
JESS
No.
LANE
(whiny)
Please... pretty please.
JESS
Stop with the whining.
LANE
(whiny, to Rory)
Please, please, please...
RORY
Stop!
(pause)
I'll do it if he does it.
(nods at Jess)
Lane and Rory look at Jess expectantly.
JESS
I can't believe I'm going to do this.
LANE
This is going to be great! I have to go help my mom at the store. We'll meet up later to discuss some ideas for the show, okay? I'm so excited!
Lane walks out. Rory and Jess look at each other like they can't believe what just happened.
JESS
Did I just agree to make a fool out of myself in public to raise money for a pitiful theater group?
RORY
Yep.
JESS
(pause)
I hate this town.
Jess walks away as Rory smiles after him.
END OF TEASER
***********************
ACT ONE
INT. DOOSE'S MARKET
Rory is shopping in Doose's Market. She walks up one of the aisles and sees DEAN, who is stocking some of the lower shelves. Dean looks over and sees Rory. He stands up. There is an awkward silence between them.
RORY
Hey.
DEAN
Hey.
RORY
How are you?
DEAN
Fine... busy.
Rory nods.
RORY
I didn't think you worked today.
DEAN
I picked up some extra shifts so I could keep my mind off... things.
RORY
That's good.
Uncomfortable silence.
RORY
(cont'd)
So, are you-
DEAN
Look, I'm pretty busy. I'll see you later.
Dean walks away.
Rory looks like she wants to say something to Dean, but doesn't.
INT. INDEPENDENCE INN - KITCHEN
Lorelai walks into the kitchen. SOOKIE and MICHEL are whispering and looking at a notebook.
LORELAI
Hey, guys, what are you looking at?
Michel and Sookie answer simultaneously.
SOOKIE
The dinner menu.
MICHEL
The reservation book.
Sookie puts the book behind her back.
LORELAI
Let me see.
SOOKIE
No. I can't.
Lorelai grabs for the book. Sookie squeals and throws the book at Michel. Michel bumbles the book and it falls on the floor. Lorelai snatches it up and starts reading.
SOOKIE
(to Michel, sarcastic)
Nice one.
MICHEL
I can't catch when I'm surprised.
LORELAI
The Luke and Lorelai Dating Pool? What the hell is this?
MICHEL
It was her idea.
Sookie gives Michel a dirty look.
LORELAI
You're making bets about Luke and me?
SOOKIE
It was just in fun. One day we started guessing about when you two would finally start dating...
LORELAI
This isn't guessing. It's betting.
MICHEL
It's more interesting when there's money on the line.
SOOKIE
The pot has really grown.
Lorelai is flipping through the pages.
LORELAI
Look at all these names. Is the whole town on this list?
SOOKIE
No... of course not.
(beat)
You're not.
MICHEL
And neither is Luke.
SOOKIE
Rory and I aren't playing, either. Rory wasn't allowed to because she's your daughter. I got kicked out on a technicality.
(to Michel)
I'm still planning on filing a complaint with the commissioner.
LORELAI
Who's the commissioner?
SOOKIE
Kirk.
LORELAI
What was the technicality?
MICHEL
She cheated. She planned her wedding around the date she picked you two would start dating. She figured you would ask Luke to the wedding and you would see him all dressed up and you would dance and fall in love.
SOOKIE
You can't prove I did that on purpose.
(to Lorelai)
It figures you would have to get into a fight right before the wedding, though.
LORELAI
(flipping through the pages)
First date, first kiss, first time... hey!
SOOKIE
Maybe we crossed the line a bit on that one.
LORELAI
Break up date? We're not even dating and you have us breaking up already. That's a little morbid, isn't it?
MICHEL
Aren't you a participant in three Dead Celebrity pools?
LORELAI
Okay, I'll let that one slide.
Michel leaves.
SOOKIE
So, seriously, what's been going on with you and Luke?
LORELAI
Here we go. I knew once you got married you'd be all over my love life. Why is that when people get married, they immediately try to marry off their friends?
SOOKIE
It's fun.
(beat)
I'm not trying to marry you off, it's just so obvious that Luke has feelings for you, and that you have feelings for him.
LORELAI
I thought you said last week that you thought he didn't like me.
SOOKIE
I'm modifying that. I think he's convinced himself that he doesn't like you anymore, but deep down, he still does.
LORELAI
You spend entirely too much time thinking about this. Luke and I already know each other. It would be so weird if we started dating. It'd be like dating my brother or something.
SOOKIE
If you looked at a brother the way you look at Luke, I'd book you on Jerry Springer myself.
LORELAI
Oh, come on. So we flirt a little sometimes. That doesn't mean anything.
SOOKIE
Are you trying to tell me you don't like him in that way?
LORELAI
I don't know. Sometimes I think so, and then other times I don't.
SOOKIE
Well, we need to find out.
(beat)
Close your eyes.
LORELAI
What?
SOOKIE
Close your eyes!
Lorelai closes your eyes.
SOOKIE (cont'd)
(dreamy)
Picture Luke. He's wearing jeans and a flannel shirt. He's-
LORELAI
And a baseball cap.
SOOKIE
And a baseball cap. He's-
LORELAI
Backwards.
SOOKIE
(annoyed)
A backwards baseball cap.
(dreamy)
He's got the scruffy beard thing going. You come in to see him one night at the diner. It's late and-
Lorelai opens her eyes.
LORELAI
Okay, Danielle Steele. I see where this is going.
SOOKIE
Don't interrupt... and keep your eyes closed!
Lorelai rolls her eyes and then closes them.
SOOKIE (cont'd)
It's late and you two are the only ones in the diner. You ask for coffee. You do your bantering thing and then he leans over to pour your coffee.
LORELAI
(dreamy)
Mmm... coffee.
SOOKIE
But wait... he doesn't have a coffee pot in his hand... so why is he leaning over?
(gasp)
He's moving in for a kiss. You...
A) Jump up and run away because gross, he's like your brother.
B) Lean in to kiss him back. You've been waiting for this moment a long time.
LORELAI
C) Throw him on the counter and jump his bones.
SOOKIE
I knew it!
LORELAI
I was kidding.
SOOKIE
Come on, what was your first reaction?
LORELAI
I don't know. It's so complicated! Besides, I have sensitive skin. He'd have to shave before I make any decision.
SOOKIE
You're hopeless.
LORELAI
I'm sorry, I just can't picture it. I guess I always pictured Christopher and I together.
SOOKIE
Honey, that ship has sailed. He's having a baby with someone else.
LORELAI
I know. It happened so recently, though. I just can't think about anyone else right now. Besides, I really don't want to risk messing up my friendship with Luke. If we started dating and it didn't work out, I wouldn't want to lose him as a friend.
SOOKIE
Okay, but don't come crying to me when you finally wake up and realize that you want to be with Luke and it's too late because he's already moved on and married with a couple little Luke's running around with little baseball caps.
LORELAI
You see him married with kids in the future?
SOOKIE
I don't know. I was just making a point that he's not going to wait around for you forever. I'm sure there are plenty of women out there that would be more than willing to go out with him.
Rory walks into the kitchen, looking depressed.
SOOKIE
Hi, sweetie.
RORY
(dejected)
Hey.
SOOKIE
What's wrong?
RORY
I just saw Dean at the market. He could barely look at me, never mind talk to me.
SOOKIE
Oh, honey. It's just going to take a little time before you'll be able to act normally around each other. How are you feeling about everything?
RORY
I feel guilty that I hurt Dean. I also feel sad and lonely, but worst of all...
Rory hangs her head, looking guilty and embarrassed.
LORELAI
You feel relieved that it's over?
RORY
Yes! How did you know?
LORELAI
Honey, everything you're feeling is natural. Dean was your first boyfriend, your first love. I know you feel guilty about hurting him, but if you kept seeing him and didn't feel the same way he did, that would have been unfair to him.
RORY
I guess so.
SOOKIE
Would you want to be with someone who didn't want to be with you?
RORY
No, I guess not.
LORELAI
Believe me, you wouldn't. It never feels good to break up with someone, but when it's not working out, for whatever the reason, you can't help but feel a little relieved when it's over.
RORY
I hate how awkward things are between us now. Do you think Dean and I will ever be able to be friends?
LORELAI
I think so. It's just going to take some time before you really see how things stand. Dean is a great guy. Sooner or later he'll realize that this was for the best because it's better to be alone than to be with someone who doesn't feel the same way about you.
RORY
I hope so. Well, I'm going to go meet Lane for lunch. I'll see you later.
SOOKIE
Hang in there, honey.
Rory leaves.
SOOKIE
Poor kid. It really sucks being a teenager and breaking up with your first love.
LORELAI
(sighs)
Yeah, it does.
SOOKIE
It also sucks being an adult who breaks up with their first love.
LORELAI
Yeah, but at least I could have a couple margaritas to dull the pain.
INT. LUKE'S DINER
Jess is working in the diner. There are a few people there for lunch. Lane walks in.
LANE
Hey, Jess.
JESS
Hey.
LANE
I'm meeting Rory for lunch. We're going to go over some ideas for the show.
JESS
I know. You left me a message telling me what time to be here.
LANE
Right. So, I guess I'll just sit over at that table and wait for Rory.
JESS
Okay. Do you want something to drink?
LANE
How about a Coke?
JESS
Sure.
Lane goes over and sits down at a table and opens her notebook. Jess walks over with her drink.
LANE
Thanks.
(pause)
So, it's been a over a week since Dean and Rory broke up.
JESS
I guess.
LANE
You don't seem too interested in how she's doing.
JESS
Why would I be?
LANE
Everyone in town has asked me how she's doing since the breakup. I thought you two were friends, but you seem to go out of your way to NOT ask how she's doing.
JESS
No, I don't.
LANE
(disbelieving)
Okay.
Awkward silence.
JESS
Well?
LANE
Well, what?
JESS
How is she?
LANE
I thought you weren't interested.
JESS
Forget it.
LANE
She's okay. I mean, she's a little down in the dumps, but she knew it wasn't working out with Dean. She'll be fine.
JESS
I don't know what she saw in him to begin with.
LANE
What do you mean? Dean's a great guy.
JESS
(shrugs)
I just didn't see them together.
LANE
That's a shocker.
JESS
What do you mean?
LANE
Nothing.
Rory comes into the diner and joins Lane and Jess.
RORY
Hey. Sorry I'm late.
LANE
No problem. I just got here.
(pause)
Why don't you guys sit down and join me?
Rory and Jess sit down at the table.
LANE (cont'd)
So, team, any ideas on what we should do for the show?
JESS
I don't sing or dance.
RORY
And I can't play any musical instruments.
LANE
Well, I guess the musical idea is out.
Lane crosses an item off her list.
LANE
(continued)
Do you have any special talents?
RORY
Lane, you're my best friend. You know I don't have any creative talent at all.
LANE
I guess that leaves acting. We'll have to do a play.
JESS
Boorring.
LANE
It doesn't have to be serious. We can do a sketch or something.
RORY
Comedy?
JESS
That's not a bad idea. What's it going to be about?
LANE
I have no idea. We'll keep it grounded in reality. That's where a lot of great comedy comes from.
RORY
Our reality isn't too exciting. We're pretty much at school, home, or here.
LANE
That's it!
RORY
What's it?
LANE
Luke's. The diner.
RORY
What about it?
LANE
We can base the sketch around the diner.
JESS
Believe me, nothing fun or exciting happens here. The only amusing thing is watching Luke get annoyed all the time.
(imitating Luke)
Taylor, get the hell out of my diner!
LANE
That's it! It can be like a typical day at the diner, you know, with Luke and Taylor fighting and stuff, but we'll throw in some unexpected twists and make it funny. Jess, you can play Luke. And Rory, you can be Lorelai.
RORY
(to Lane)
Who will you be?
LANE
(pause)
You!
(pause)
We need someone to play Taylor, Luke's nemesis.
RORY
How about Kirk?
LANE
Good idea. I'll ask him. This is going to be great! Okay, so let's get to work on the story...
Rory, Lane, and Jess talk about the story during the fade out to commercial.
END OF ACT ONE
***********************
ACT TWO
INT. LUKE'S DINER - AFTERNOON
TAYLOR is talking with Luke. Jess is clearing off tables.
LUKE
Taylor, how many times do I have to tell you? No.
TAYLOR
Okay, fine. I'm not going to beg.
LUKE
Good.
TAYLOR
(pause)
But as a sponsor for the fundraiser, think of all the publicity you would receive because your name would appear on the back of the program.
LUKE
For the last time, no! Now get out of my diner if you're not going to order anything.
TAYLOR
You are impossible!
Taylor walks out of the diner. Luke looks at Jess in exasperation.
LUKE
He drives me nuts.
JESS
I think you drive each other nuts.
Jess gets a half-smile on his face.
LUKE
What?
JESS
What?
LUKE
You're smiling.
JESS
So? That happens occasionally.
LUKE
You think it's funny? If I wind up in the loony bin, it'll be Taylor's fault.
JESS
Make sure you bring a cardigan. Those loony bins can get a little chilly.
LUKE
(sarcastic)
That's funny.
JESS
(looks at his watch)
My shift is over. I'm going out. I'll see you later.
LUKE
Yeah, okay.
Jess leaves the diner.
EXT. LANE'S HOUSE - LATE AFTERNOON
RORY
So, I was at the market earlier and I saw Dean.
LANE
Oh, man. How was it?
RORY
It was terrible. He would barely look at me or talk to me.
LANE
Well, it's got to be tough on him. It's just going to take some time.
RORY
That's what everyone keeps saying.
Rory sees Jess and a blonde girl walking down the street.
RORY
Who is that?
LANE
I'm not sure what her name is.
Jess looks over and sees Rory looking at them.
RORY
Are they going out?
LANE
I don't know. I've seen them together a few times but I don't know if it's anything romantic or not.
(pause)
I never pictured him with a blonde.
RORY
I never thought about it.
LANE
(disbelieving)
Right.
The girl says something to Jess and he nods and the girl walks off. Jess walks over to Rory and Lane.
JESS
Hey.
LANE
Hey.
RORY
Hey.
JESS
I thought of an idea for Luke's character for the show.
LANE
That's great! Let me go grab a pen and paper so I can write it down.
Lane runs inside the house.
RORY
So, who's your friend?
JESS
Just someone I met during summer school. She's new.
RORY
So you thought you'd show her around town, make her feel at home.
JESS
Something like that.
RORY
That's good that you've made some new friends here.
JESS
Yeah, it is. You can never have enough friends, right?
RORY
Right.
Lane comes out with a pen and notebook.
RORY
Um, I need to get going. I've got dinner at my grandparents tonight. I'll see you guys tomorrow, okay?
LANE
Okay. See you tomorrow.
Rory walks off.
INT. RICHARD AND EMILY'S HOUSE - FRI. NIGHT
RICHARD, EMILY, Rory and Lorelai are at the dinner table. They have just finished eating.
EMILY
So, Rory, you must be excited that school is almost starting.
RORY
I am. I can't believe I'm going to be a senior.
RICHARD
It's soon time for you to start applying to colleges, isn't it?
LORELAI
Yep. Harvard, here she comes.
RICHARD
Well, that sounds wonderful.
(pause)
Have you planned on any alternative courses of action in case you wind up not going to Harvard?
LORELAI
Dad, drop it.
RICHARD
What, Lorelai? I know Rory is brilliant, but a lot of smart people apply to Harvard and not everyone gets accepted.
RORY
(worried)
You don't think I'll get in?
RICHARD
I'm sure you will. I know you have your heart set on Harvard, and I do sincerely hope you get in, but it's always wise to keep your options open. I don't know if you remember, but I happened to go to Yale. With my considerable donations and your excellent school record, you're a shoo-in.
EMILY
Plus, you'd be close to home.
RORY
You think I should go to Yale instead?
LORELAI
Mom, Dad, stop it. Rory is going to Harvard, and that's the end of the story.
EMILY
We know she wants to go to Harvard, but it would be irresponsible not to have a backup plan just in case she had to go somewhere else, so why not look into colleges closer to home?
RORY
Well, there are a lot of good schools in this area.
RICHARD
Of course there are!
RORY
You really think I might not get in?
EMILY
I'm sure you will, but the field is so competitive and more people than ever are applying to college. I read somewhere that Harvard receives so many applications that people with perfect SAT scores don't even get in.
RORY
(worried)
I'm not going to get perfect SAT scores. I didn't even get perfect PSAT scores.
LORELAI
It's not all about the SAT scores. They also look at extracurricular activities.
RORY
I don't have many of those! I was too busy studying to get less-than-perfect SAT scores and mediocre grades.
LORELAI
Mediocre grades?
(to Richard and Emily)
It's time for us to go. Rory, can you wait out in the car for a minute?
EMILY
Don't be ridiculous. We haven't had dessert yet.
LORELAI
(angry)
We're going... now.
(to Rory)
Rory, please.
RORY
(confused)
Okay. Good night, Grandma. Good night, Grandpa.
Rory leaves the dining room.
RICHARD
Now, Lorelai, before you get-
LORELAI
Rory has dreamt her whole life of going to Harvard. How dare you put doubts in her head that she can't get in or make her feel guilty for leaving home.
RICHARD
We were doing no such thing.
LORELAI
Yes, you were! You're trying to get her to do what you want her to do, rather than what she wants to do.
EMILY
We most certainly are not. We are not discouraging her from going to Harvard. We just want her to keep her options open. What's wrong with that?
LORELAI
You're just trying to find ways to keep her close to you. You want her to go to Yale so she'll feel indebted to you because you helped her get in and you want her close to home so we can keep up with these Friday night blackmail parties. You're trying to control her the way you control everyone else... the way you tried to control me when I was her age.
EMILY
I'm not trying to control her, but I admit I'm afraid that when Rory leaves for college, we're not going to see either of you anymore.
LORELAI
I'm not going anywhere, Mom. Why wouldn't I see you?
EMILY
Oh, come off it, Lorelai. You just said it yourself. The only reason we see you now is because you're forced to.
LORELAI
As you never let me forget, that was the term of our agreement for loaning me the money for Chilton. You use your money to control people. You always have. That's why I'm going to pay you back as soon as I can.
EMILY
Which you never let us forget, either.
LORELAI
Meaning what?
EMILY
Meaning that the second we stop paying for Rory's education, you won't be coming to dinner anymore. Richard, we better sign on now to pay for Rory's college so we'll be guaranteed four more years of contact with our daughter.
LORELAI
That's not true.
EMILY
Yes, it is. All we are is a wallet to you. You say we're controlling, but who's really doing the controlling here, Lorelai? You run away and take our granddaughter and we barely see you for 15 years. Then when you do come to see us, it's only because you need money.
LORELAI
Don't make me sound so money-grubbing. The only reason I came to you for anything was for Rory, not for me.
EMILY
I know very well you wouldn't have asked us for anything for yourself. That way you can think we've never done anything for you and resent us for it. You purposely stayed away from us for years and now you hold it against us that we don't know you. You put us in the position where we had to force you to come spend time with us, and you hold that against us, too. It all works out for you, though, because whatever we do and whatever we say is always going to be wrong and you can remain angry with us for the rest of your life.
LORELAI
Why would I come and see you on my own? All you ever do is criticize me, try to change me, and run my life for me. Nothing I ever do is good enough for you.
EMILY
Now you know how I feel. I can't doing anything right in your eyes. I don't think I can bear another week of you sitting at the table acting like you'd rather be anywhere else in the world.
LORELAI
I didn't say I didn't want to come to dinner. I just don't want to be forced to be here.
EMILY
Don't worry. We'll still pay for Rory's schooling. There's no reason she should suffer because of this. She's old enough to make her own decisions and I hope she'll still come see us on her own.
RICHARD
Now, let's not say anything that you're going to regret later.
EMILY
(to Richard)
I meant what I said. Every week, she sits at this table and lets it be known that she doesn't want to be here.
(to Lorelai)
I used to think that bribing you to spend time with us was better than not seeing you at all, but it's not. You should be happy, you're off the hook.
LORELAI
Are you seriously saying you don't want me to come over for dinner anymore?
EMILY
That's right.
LORELAI
Fine.
RICHARD
Lorelai, wait. Don't leave like this.
Lorelai storms out of the house.
INT. LORELAI'S CAR - MOMENTS LATER
Lorelai hops in the car and slams the door shut.
RORY
What happened?
LORELAI
Good news. We don't have to go Friday night dinners anymore.
RORY
We don't have to go or we were asked not to go anymore?
LORELAI
Same difference.
RORY
They're right, you know.
LORELAI
What do you mean?
RORY
I've done everything I can, but there's no guarantee I'm going to get into Harvard. I need to think about alternatives.
LORELAI
I knew they were making you doubt yourself. I'm sorry, honey.
RORY
Mom, you're not listening. I always intended on applying to other schools as backups. The only reason I freaked out a little bit in there is because I've been having my own doubts about getting into Harvard and hearing it spoken out loud from someone else makes the possibility seem more real. I might not get into Harvard and it scares me because that's all I've ever wanted.
LORELAI
Rory, I'm sure you'll get in.
RORY
I appreciate your confidence that I'll get in, I do, but we have to be realistic. There is the possibility that I'm not going to get in and I need to be prepared for that.
LORELAI
That does make sense, but please don't feel pressured to apply to Yale just because your grandfather went there. There are so many colleges out there. You should apply where you want to.
RORY
I don't feel pressured. Yale is a great school and it is close to home. It makes sense to apply there. You know, just because Grandma and Grandpa brought up some alternatives to Harvard doesn't mean they don't think I'll get in or they're not being supportive. They were just being practical and they were right.
LORELAI
Shh... the driveway might be bugged. You can't let them know when they're right about something. It'll just encourage them to try it more often.
Lorelai starts up the car.
RORY
Aren't you going to go talk to them?
LORELAI
Not right now. We all need to cool off a little bit.
RORY
Mom-
LORELAI
Rory, this is between your grandparents and I. It's something I need to deal with, okay?
RORY
Okay.
END OF ACT TWO
****************************
ACT THREE
INT. LORELAI'S HOUSE - FRIDAY AFTERNOON
Rory walks by Lorelai on the way out the door.
RORY
Bye, Mom. I'm going over to Lane's.
LORELAI
Wait one sec. I want to talk to you about something.
RORY
Okay.
LORELAI
I saw Taylor today.
RORY
Uh-huh.
LORELAI
I was buying tickets for the fundraiser and he was wondering why I was asking for two tickets instead of one. Care to share anything?
RORY
(uncomfortable)
Oh, yeah... I must've forgotten to tell you. I'm going to, um, be in the show this year.
LORELAI
You're kidding.
RORY
Lane talked me into it. She thought it would be fun.
LORELAI
Why didn't you tell me?
RORY
Because I knew you would make a big deal about it.
LORELAI
What do you mean? I think it's great! I hope you don't think that just because you're my daughter, I'll refrain from heckling you.
RORY
Unfortunately, I know better.
LORELAI
So, what are you doing?
RORY
It's a secret.
LORELAI
I won't tell anyone, I swear.
RORY
I'm not telling you.
LORELAI
Honey, I love you, but for your own good, I can't allow you to get up in public and sing.
RORY
We're not singing.
LORELAI
What about dancing?
RORY
There's no dancing, either.
LORELAI
Phew. So, if you're not singing or dancing, it must be some sort of play.
RORY
I'm not telling you what we're doing.
LORELAI
Hmm... you're doing a play and you won't tell me what it's about, which probably means that I'm in it.
RORY
You've got quite an ego.
LORELAI
Evasive answer. I think I'm right about this.
RORY
You got me.
LORELAI
I did?
RORY
Yep.
LORELAI
My powers of deduction amaze even me sometimes. Come on... give me a little sample of what I sound like.
RORY
Okay, let me know how this sounds.
(imitates Faye Dunaway in Mommie Dearest)
NO. WIRE. HANGERS. EVER!
LORELAI
Now I'm going to heckle and throw things at you on stage.
RORY
Can I go now? We need to rehearse.
LORELAI
Please do.
RORY
(backs out of the room)
Christina!
INT. LUKE'S DINER - AFTERNOON
Luke and Taylor are talking.
TAYLOR
I'm only going to ask one last time. Are you certain that you don't want to be a sponsor for the fundraiser on Saturday? Your name would appear on the brochure we're going to hand out. It's tax-deductible and good advertising.
LUKE
(exasperated)
No.
TAYLOR
Do you at least want to buy some tickets to the show? It's for charity.
LUKE
No.
TAYLOR
Why not?
LUKE
Once you start contributing to these things, people will be in here constantly asking for money - the book club, the hospital, the Horticulture Society.
TAYLOR
All good causes, I might add. Aren't you concerned that our theater company doesn't even have enough money for new costumes or scenery?
LUKE
Not especially.
TAYLOR
I have to say, I'm very disappointed in you. Even your hooligan nephew understands the importance of the performing arts.
LUKE
He does?
TAYLOR
Yes, he does and I would think that with Jess being in the show, you would at least come out to support him.
LUKE
Jess is in the show?
TAYLOR
Yes.
LUKE
My nephew Jess is in the show?
TAYLOR
(rolls his eyes)
Yes.
LUKE
Well, this I have to see. Put me down for a ticket.
TAYLOR
Just one? It is for charity, after all. Maybe you might want to take a lady friend with you?
LUKE
Will you leave my diner right now if I buy two tickets?
TAYLOR
Yes.
LUKE
I'll take two.
TAYLOR
Wonderful. While I'm here, I wanted to talk you about-
LUKE
Goodbye, Taylor.
Taylor leaves the diner. Jess comes down the stairs.
LUKE
So, listen, I've got plans on Saturday night. I was wondering if you could work that night and close up for me?
JESS
Sorry, I can't.
LUKE
I know it's Saturday, but I'll pay you extra.
JESS
I really can't. I already made plans.
LUKE
You can't break them?
JESS
Um, no. I've got a lot of studying to do...
LUKE
Studying? I thought summer school was over.
JESS
Uh, yeah. I'm trying to get a jump on next year...
(beat)
You know, don't you?
LUKE
(smiles)
Yep.
JESS
You're going to give me a hard time now, right?
LUKE
Yep.
JESS
Great.
LUKE
I didn't know you were into this kind of stuff.
JESS
I'm not.
LUKE
Then why are you doing it?
JESS
(shrugs)
I thought it would be fun.
LUKE
You thought it would be fun?
JESS
Yes.
LUKE
Who else is in this thing?
JESS
Lane, Rory, and Kirk.
LUKE
Well, that explains the sudden interest in theater.
JESS
I don't know what you're talking about.
LUKE
Please... are you trying to tell me you would've done this if Rory wasn't in it?
JESS
I just thought it would be fun, okay?
LUKE
Whatever you say.
Jess walks out of the diner.
INT. LORELAI'S HOUSE - EVENING
Lorelai is in the kitchen, about to make some coffee.
There's a knock on the door. Lorelai answers the door and finds Richard and Emily outside.
LORELAI
(surprised)
Hi.
RICHARD
Hello, Lorelai.
LORELAI
What are you doing here? I mean, I'm sorry, I just wasn't expecting to see you.
EMILY
I didn't expect to be here, either. Your father lied to me about where we were going.
RICHARD
Apparently my wife is as stubborn as my daughter. This is the only thing I could think of to get us all talking.
LORELAI
Why don't you come in?
RICHARD
Thank you.
Richard and Emily come inside.
LORELAI
I was going to call. I just haven't had a chance to get around to it yet.
EMILY
Perhaps we should leave her alone, Richard, if she's so terribly busy she doesn't have time to make a phone call.
LORELAI
My phone doesn't just make outgoing calls, Mom. I can receive them, too.
RICHARD
Now, now. I didn't get us all together so we could fight again.
LORELAI
But we're so good at it.
RICHARD
I don't want you to completely withdraw yourself from us again. Even though she won't say so, that would destroy your mother... and me, as well.
LORELAI
I know, I'm sorry. I think it's instinct. There's always been so much tension between us that I think it's easier sometimes to stay away from each other and not deal with it than to fight all the time.
RICHARD
I don't want to go another 15 years with all this tension and anger between us. Tell me what we need to do so that won't happen again.
LORELAI
Your coming over here is a step in the right direction. I was going to make some coffee. Do you want any?
RICHARD
That would be wonderful, thank you.
They head into the kitchen.
LORELAI
I'm really glad you came over. I don't want to go back to the way things were, either. I owe you both an apology. You've been making an effort the last few years to try to patch things up and I haven't given you much slack. I tend to be overly critical because I still have some issues about the past I need to deal with.
EMILY
I suppose that I can be a little critical myself.
LORELAI
A little?
EMILY
Okay, a lot. I do it because I just want what's best for you, but I'll try to tone it down.
(beat)
I also owe you an apology about what I said about us only being a wallet to you. That was untrue and unfair to say.
RICHARD
Now, about these Friday night dinners...
LORELAI
I'd like to keep coming to dinner, but I want it to be a little more relaxed.
EMILY
Relaxed?
LORELAI
I don't mean relaxed in a "let's get drunk" kind of way. I just don't want it to be required for us to go as a condition of the money you gave me for school. It should be more of a social get-together that we want to go to, not have to go to. And maybe sometimes you can come here or we can go out to eat.
RICHARD
That is more than fair. And about the college applications, I didn't-
LORELAI
Rory should have some other options available to her just in case she doesn't get accepted at Harvard. Since she's going to apply to some other schools, there's no reason why Yale shouldn't be one of them.
RICHARD
I am proud of my alma mater, but I must admit I was pushing Yale a little bit because Rory would be closer to home.
LORELAI
I understand that. You and Rory have a great relationship. To be honest, if she doesn't get into Harvard, I wouldn't mind having her closer to home, either.
EMILY
These past two years have been wonderful for me because it seemed like we were getting along better, but there's always been an underlying current of resentment you have towards us because of what happened in the past.
LORELAI
I promise, I'll make an effort not to dwell on the past so much.
RICHARD
Well, I think we can all agree that we made mistakes in the past. Why don't we try to make a fresh start with each other?
EMILY
A fresh start sounds like a wonderful idea to me.
LORELAI
Yeah, it does.
(pretending she's talking to a stranger)
So, tell me, do you have any children?
Richard and Emily start laughing.
EMILY
Oh, yes. A daughter. She's wonderful, but quite a handful.
LORELAI
(laughs)
I'm sure she is.
They continue talking in a friendly fashion.
END OF ACT THREE
***************************
ACT FOUR
INT. STAGE - MISS PATTY'S DANCE STUDIO - SATURDAY NIGHT
Taylor is announcing the last act to perform.
TAYLOR
.... And now, I'm pleased to present Lane, Rory, Kirk, and Jess in "Diner Days."
Luke looks surprised and worried that the skit is called "Diner Days." The curtain opens. Jess is dressed up like Luke in jeans, a flannel shirt, and a backwards baseball cap. He is standing behind a counter and chairs and he's wiping off the counter with a rag. There is a big "No Cell Phone" sign next to him on the wall.
Kirk opens the door and comes onto the stage. He's dressed as Taylor, wearing a fake beard and a cardigan sweater.
JESS
What do you want, Taylor?
KIRK
Such hostility. How do you know I'm not just coming in for something to eat?
JESS
Whenever you come in here carrying a clipboard, it means you want money, you're going to complain about something, or try to get me to put up some idiotic decorations. So just tell me what you're doing here so I can say no and we can get on with our day.
KIRK
As president of the Stars Hollow Aesthetics Committee...
JESS
(raises his arm)
Here it comes.
KIRK
It has been brought to my attention that your floor tiles are not the proper size and-
JESS
Floor tiles? You know, I used to joke about your being crazy, but now I realize that you really are insane and I feel bad about the joking.
KIRK
It may seem silly to you, but there are people in this town that take this seriously.
JESS
(bangs his hands on the counter in frustration)
Damn it, Taylor! I am not ripping up my floor and installing new tile.
KIRK
All I'm saying is that if you don't want to be at the top of S.H.A.C. violators list, you'll abide by the rules and change those floor tiles ASAP.
JESS
You know, I've created my own list and you're at the top of it.
KIRK
And what list is that?
JESS
The Stars Hollow Insane Townies.
KIRK
There is no S.H.I.-
(frustrated)
You are impossible!
Kirk walks out the door and Rory, dressed as Lorelai, enters.
RORY
Hey, Luke.
JESS
Lorelai.
RORY
(talking very quickly)
I was walking over here and I hadn't had any coffee yet so I started feeling faint. I almost passed out by Doose's Market, but I thought they might try to feed me some fruit or vegetables, so I mustered up the last little bit of energy I had to make it over here, but now I'm feeling a little woozy.
(weaves back and forth)
I don't think I can last another minute without...
(slumps on the counter)
JESS
Would it kill you to ask for coffee like a normal person?
Jess pours a cup of coffee into a to go cup and hands it to Rory.
RORY
What's this?
JESS
Coffee. What do you think?
RORY
Why is it in a to-go cup?
JESS
Because it's almost closing time.
RORY
So?
JESS
(slowly)
So, I'm going to be closing the diner soon and you're going to want to take your coffee with you when you leave.
Lane comes in wearing a Harvard sweatshirt.
LANE
Hey, Luke. Hey, Mom.
RORY
Hi, honey.
LANE
Can I get some coffee, please?
Jess pours Lane coffee in a to-go cup and gives the cup to her.
JESS
(to Rory)
See how a normal person asks for something?
(to Lane)
How did you turn out so well with this nutcase as your mother?
LANE
Just lucky, I guess.
RORY
Luke is closing up the diner soon and he's going to kick us out without giving us any dinner.
LANE
You're going to send us home on empty stomachs?
JESS
You have a stove, or in your case, a microwave, at your house. Doesn't it ever occur to you to use it?
RORY
(weaves back and forth)
What? I can't hear you. You sound so far away. I think I'm going to...
(Rory slumps her head on the counter. She elbows Lane to follow suit)
LANE
I don't know if I can make it all the way home without any din...
(Lane slumps her head on the counter)
JESS
Nice try, Goldie and Kate. I really am closing and you really do have to leave.
Lane and Rory get up from the counter.
LANE
I think of us more as Ingrid and Isabella.
RORY
Or Blythe and Gwyneth.
JESS
Out.
(makes a scoot motion with his hands)
RORY
Fine. See if you see us here first thing tomorrow morning.
JESS
Tomorrow is Sunday. You're never here first thing in the morning.
Rory and Lane walk towards the door, followed by Jess.
LANE
We'll be here in the afternoon, but under protest.
JESS
See you tomorrow.
Rory and Lane walk out and Jess locks the door behind them. He flips the CLOSED sign around and dims the lights. He walks over and removes the No Cell Phones sign from the wall, revealing a TV and VCR. He places the remote to the TV on the counter. He gets a bowl and two drinks from under the counter and places them on top of the counter. There's a knock on the door. Jess opens the door and Kirk is there with a video in his hand.
JESS
Hey, Taylor, come on in. I was just getting everything ready.
KIRK
Great. Here you go.
Kirk hands Jess the video and Jess pops it into the VCR.
JESS
Finally, I can take this damn flannel shirt off. I hate them!
KIRK
Oh, I know what you mean. These cardigans are incredibly hot.
Jess and Kirk start unbuttoning their shirts. The audience looks shocked. Luke looks horrified.
MISS PATTY
(to Babette)
Now this is getting good.
BABETTE
Oh, yeah.
Jess and Kirk take their shirts off and it's revealed that they are wearing Star Trek shirts underneath. They sit down at the counter. Jess picks up the remote, aims it towards the TV and presses PLAY. Star Trek: The Wrath of Khan begins playing. Jess and Kirk clink their drinks together in a toast, take a drink, and lean back in their chairs to watch the movie. The curtain closes. Everyone in the audience is laughing and starts clapping.
CUT TO:
EXT. PATTY'S DANCE STUDIO
Sookie, Jackson, Luke, and Lorelai are gathered. They are talking about the show.
JACKSON
That was classic. I hope somebody got that on tape.
LORELAI
For a minute there, I thought we were going off-off-off-Broadway.
LUKE
(to Lorelai)
I'm assuming that you had some input into this thing?
LORELAI
As much as I would love to take credit, I really didn't know anything about it.
LUKE
Well, I have to admit, they've got you down to a science.
LORELAI
I am not that whiny and demanding... am I?
Kirk walks up before Luke has a chance to answer.
KIRK
So, what did you think?
LORELAI
That was great. You made a perfect Taylor.
KIRK
Thanks.
SOOKIE
And those outfits were great. Where did you find the Star Trek shirts?
KIRK
Find them? I've got a bunch of them at home.
(looks over and sees Taylor walking towards him)
Excuse me.
Kirk walks off as Taylor walks quickly after him.
TAYLOR
Kirk, wait just one minute! I want to talk to you, young man.
Rory, Lane, and Jess walk up to Lorelai, Luke, Sookie, and Jackson. Sookie and Lorelai hug Rory and Lane.
RORY
So, what did you think?
LORELAI
I looked a little bit like a mental patient, but besides that, I thought it was great.
SOOKIE
Really, it was so great.
They are all very excited. Sookie and Lorelai continue heaping praise on Rory and Lane. Luke and Jess stand next to each other, looking a little uncomfortable.
LUKE
(awkward, to Jess)
Um, that was... good. You were, um, you were good.
JESS
(nods)
Thanks.
Luke looks he's not sure if he should hug Jess. After a moment, he reaches over and gives Jess a noogie on his head.
JESS
(shocked)
What are you doing?
LUKE
(embarrassed)
I have no idea.
Jess and Luke look uncomfortable. Rory walks over.
RORY
So, Luke, what did you think?
LUKE
My heart stopped for a minute there with the Taylor thing, but I have to admit, it turned out to be pretty funny. And you've got your mom down to a science.
Lorelai walks over.
LORELAI
Hey, I am not that bad!
LUKE
If you say so. If anyone is interested, I've got some cake and ice cream back at the diner.
RORY
You made us a cake? That's so nice.
LUKE
Yeah, yeah. Let's go.
INT. LUKE'S DINER
Luke is handing out pieces of cake.
LUKE
So, when do you think I might hear the end of the Star Trek jokes?
RORY
You won't hear another one from me, I promise. I just couldn't resist.
LUKE
And whose idea was it to have Taylor and I all buddy-buddy?
RORY
That was Jess' idea.
LUKE
(to Jess, jesting)
You're grounded.
LANE
You sound like my mom.
RORY
So, Lane, when are you going to let me hear you play the drums?
LANE
Well, I've got a key to the store...
Rory stands up.
RORY
Let's go.
LANE
Okay. My mom's not expecting me for a little while.
RORY
Bye, Mom. I'll see you at home.
LORELAI
Okay.
Rory and Lane start to walk out. Jess looks unsure what to do. Rory goes out the door first. Lane is about to go and then turns around.
LANE
Jess, you coming?
JESS
(to Luke)
Later.
Jess walks out and joins Lane and Rory.
LORELAI
This was quite a night.
LUKE
Yep. Not only did I get made fun of tonight, I made a fool out of myself, too.
LORELAI
You mean, the noogie?
LUKE
You saw that, huh?
LORELAI
Yep. It was a nice gesture.
LUKE
Yeah, for an eight year old. I just didn't know what to do. You guys were all hugging and kissing and we were just standing there and I felt like I should do something, but I didn't know if I should hug him or shake his hand or what.
LORELAI
So, you gave him a noogie.
LUKE
Yep.
LORELAI
Well, it's a good start. In time, maybe you'll be more comfortable with each other so this stuff will come more naturally.
LUKE
I don't know about that. I am really not good at this stuff.
LORELAI
Yes, you are. You need to give yourself a little more credit.
LUKE
You want some more coffee?
LORELAI
Do you even have to ask?
Luke leans over the counter. Lorelai's eyes get very wide. Luke looks at her questioningly and picks up Rory's plate that was next to her on the counter.
LUKE
What?
LORELAI
What?
LUKE
Why are you looking at me like that?
LORELAI
I'm not.
(beat)
I'm going to kill Sookie.
LUKE
Why's that?
LORELAI
No reason.
LUKE
Okay, then.
Luke puts the plate under the counter, gets the coffee pot and fills Lorelai's coffee cup.
LORELAI
Hey, Luke?
LUKE
Yeah?
LORELAI
I'm glad things are back to normal with us.
LUKE
Me, too.
FADE OUT.
END OF EPISODE