TITLE: "John Hughes Day"
AUTHOR: Diane
FEEDBACK: ggfan@prodigy.net
DISCLAIMER: All characters belong to Amy Sherman-Palladino and the WB.
AUTHOR NOTES: This chapter was written after "Application Anxiety" aired. I assimilated some things that happened in the real show into this chapter. Therefore, even though it wasn't mentioned in chapters 1 or 2, this new chapter assumes that Lane and Dave have met, Paris and Jamie have kept in contact after Washington, and Kirk asked Lorelai out.
As always, any feedback is appreciated.
**********
TEASER
INT. LUKE'S DINER
LORELAI and RORY walk into the diner. The tables are full, so they sit down at the counter.
RORY
So, what are you in the mood for?
LORELAI
I don't know. I'm in the mood for something different.
Lorelai reaches over and picks up two menus and hands one to Rory.
LORELAI (cont'd)
I don't think I've actually looked at the menu in years. Let's see if anything has changed recently.
RORY
(reading the menu)
It doesn't look like it.
Rory rubs a spot on the menu with her napkin.
RORY (cont'd)
I think I made this coffee stain like three years ago.
LORELAI
Then I think it's a safe bet that you won't be able to get the stain out now. So, let's see here...
(starts reading from the menu)
Hamburger...$4.95
(beat)
Cheeseburger...$5.75
(beat)
Grilled Cheese...$3.75
Lorelai sees LUKE walking over to take their order. He is holding an order pad and pencil.
LORELAI (cont'd)
The look on Luke's face in about five seconds?
(beat)
Hey, Luke. I'll have the house salad with lite Ranch dressing on the side and a large glass of water.
Luke looks stunned.
RORY
(to Lorelai)
Priceless.
Luke continues to look stunned.
LORELAI
Is there a problem?
LUKE
My pencil seems to know I'm taking your order and won't write the word salad.
RORY
You've begun to think inanimate objects have minds of their own. Welcome to our world.
LORELAI
It's such a nice place to live.
LUKE
I'm going to start restricting your number of visits per week.
(to Rory)
So, you want a salad, too?
RORY
No, I'm going to have a cheeseburger, fries, and a Coke, please.
LUKE
I knew one of you had to order an artery-clogging meal.
Luke writes the order down and starts to walk away.
LORELAI
Hey, Luke?
Luke walks back over.
LUKE
What? No salad, right?
LORELAI
I'll keep the salad, but can you make it a small salad?
LUKE
How small?
LORELAI
Very small. In fact, you could just put the lettuce on top of a cheeseburger.
Luke crosses off the salad from his order pad.
LUKE
I knew it was too good to be true.
LORELAI
And instead of ranch dressing, I'll take ketchup.
LUKE
For the french fries?
LORELAI
(rubs her stomach)
Well, I really shouldn't, but all right.
LUKE
And the water?
LORELAI
I'll keep the water.
LUKE
Really?
LORELAI
Really.
(beat)
But if you could hold the ice, add some coffee grinds, and heat it up, that'd be great.
LUKE
Don't you ever get tired of trying to annoy me?
LORELAI
Um... no, not really.
Luke walks away to place the order.
RORY
You know, I almost feel bad about how much you tease him sometimes.
LORELAI
No, you don't.
RORY
I said almost.
Luke comes back and pours their coffee.
LUKE
(nods towards the papers)
What are those?
LORELAI
Some flyers we made up so everyone will know the movie schedule for Saturday. Is it okay if I drop off a few here?
LUKE
I guess, but why can't they just call the theater or look it up in the paper?
Lorelai looks astonished.
LORELAI
Don't tell me that you've forgotten what tomorrow is?
Luke glances over at JESS, who shrugs.
LUKE
Saturday?
LORELAI
Yes, it's Saturday, but that's not what I meant. Today is the most sacred day of the Gilmore calendar year.
RORY
The most revered day that beats out Thanksgiving, Christmas, Fourth of July and yes, even Valentine's Day, in it's magnitude.
LORELAI
I'll give you a hint.
(beat)
Neo-maxi zoom dweebie.
Luke groans.
LUKE
Has it been a year already?
LORELAI
Yes, it has.
JESS
What are you talking about?
RORY
John Hughes Day.
JESS
What?
LUKE
John Hughes Day. Second only in annoyance to Julie Andrews Day.
LORELAI
Blasphemy!
RORY
I can't believe Luke has failed to inform you of one of the most treasured Stars Hollow annual event.
LUKE
It is not a Stars Hollow event. It is a crazy Gilmore event.
LORELAI
On the contrary, we had so many people show up at our house last year that this year we decided to rent a big screen TV and show the movies at Miss Patty's. It's going to be open to the general public, thereby making it a Stars Hollow event.
JESS
What exactly do you do on this sacred day?
RORY
Sit around and eat a lot of junk food and watch a marathon of John Hughes movies.
JESS
Sounds...
LUKE
Idiotic? It is.
LORELAI
Watch out, mister. If you keep this talk up, you might not be included in our John Hughes Day festivities.
LUKE
You promise?
Rory and Lorelai giggle and drink their coffee.
END OF TEASER
**********
ACT ONE
INT. CHILTON - MEETING ROOM
FRANCIE, LOUISE, MADELINE, BRAD, and some other students are sitting around a table.
FRANCIE
So, where's Paris? Rather irresponsible of her to schedule an after-school meeting and then not show up, isn't it?
LOUISE
This is the second time this week.
MADELINE
Maybe she's sick.
BRAD
Paris is immune to germs.
Madeline gets up and looks out the window.
RORY
She'll be here. She's only a few minutes late.
MADELINE
She's here. Some guy just pulled up and dropped her off.
Madeline gasps.
FRANCIE
What's wrong?
MADELINE
Has Hell frozen over?
LOUISE
What are you talking about?
Everyone walks over to the window and sees PARIS kissing JAMIE outside.
BRAD
I didn't think she could do that.
LOUISE
Well, well... it looks like our Paris is growing up.
Paris and Jamie stop kissing and Paris walks into the building. The kids scramble to get back to their seats. Paris walks into the room.
PARIS
Sorry I'm late. Let's get down to business.
Paris opens up a notebook and looks at the page. All the kids are looking at her strangely. Paris drops her pen on the page.
PARIS (cont'd)
You know what? I'm really not in the mood for this. It's Friday night and I'm sure we've all got better things to do than hang around after school. What do you say we call it a day?
No one answers.
BRAD
(whispers to Rory)
Don't answer. It could be a trick.
PARIS
(to Brad)
It's not a trick, pencil-neck.
(to all)
All in favor of taking the day off, say aye.
Hesitantly, everyone says aye.
PARIS (cont'd)
Great. Meeting adjourned. Have a nice weekend everyone.
Paris picks up her books and walks out of the room. Everyone looks stunned.
MADELINE
I, for one, like the kinder, gentler Paris.
LOUISE
We should have hooked her up a long time ago.
MADELINE
Definitely.
FRANCIE
(to Rory)
Well, well. This is a most interesting turn of events. Who'd have thought that our fearless leader Paris would turn to mush when a man pays a little attention to her?
Rory walks out and catches up with Paris.
RORY
Paris, are you feeling okay?
PARIS
I'm fine. Why?
RORY
It's just not like you to cancel a meeting.
PARIS
So? What's the big deal?
RORY
No big deal. It's just... unusual.
PARIS
Oh, relax. The sun will come up tomorrow and the earth will continue to spin on its axis because I canceled a meeting.
RORY
Well, it's nice to know that the universe doesn't actually revolve around you. I was worried about that. So, I guess you've got big plans tonight?
PARIS
Jamie's visiting me this weekend. We're going out to dinner tonight.
RORY
Wow. I just hadn't realized that you two were doing the long distance dating thing.
PARIS
Don't sound so shocked.
RORY
I'm not. That's great. He seems like a great guy.
PARIS
He is. It's weird. I keep thinking I'm going to find something wrong with him - he's a cross-dresser, bites his nails, in the mob, bad breath... anything. So far, though, nothing.
RORY
That's great.
PARIS
You don't sound too thrilled.
RORY
I am. It just seems that you've been pretty distant lately during class. You're not studying as much as before. Now you're canceling meetings.
PARIS
So? It's my senior year. I have worked non-stop for as long as I can remember. Don't I deserve a break? Can't I have a little fun?
RORY
Yes, but-
PARIS
I know on planet Rory, men fight each other to throw themselves at your feet, but that doesn't happen with me. Jamie is a nice guy and he likes me. I actually have a boyfriend, just like any other girl. Can't I enjoy it while it lasts?
RORY
Yes. You're right, I'm sorry. I don't care what you do with Jamie, okay? I'm just telling you that it looks bad if you keep canceling meetings. It might... undermine your authority a little bit.
Paris stops walking and grabs Rory's arm.
PARIS
What are you talking about? What do you know that I don't know?
RORY
Nothing! I'm just suggesting that you shouldn't schedule so many meetings if you're going to end up canceling them. It doesn't look good.
PARIS
Point taken. Now, I have to go. Have a good weekend.
RORY
You, too. Hey, if you're interested, we're showing a marathon of John Hughes movies tomorrow at Miss Patty's dance studio. You and Jamie are welcome to come.
PARIS
Thanks. I'll ask him.
Paris walks off.
INT. INDEPENDENCE INN - FRONT HALL
Lorelai is behind the front counter. Rory walks in.
LORELAI
Hey, babe.
RORY
Hey, Mom.
LORELAI
Hey, what are you doing here? Didn't you have a meeting after school?
RORY
Paris canceled the meeting because she had a date tonight.
LORELAI
Wow. That doesn't sound like Paris.
RORY
I know. I feel like I'm living in some kind of bizarro world. Taylor is probably spray painting graffiti all over town as we speak.
LORELAI
And Luke's probably off somewhere scarfing down a bacon burger and chili fries, followed by a Jolt cola.
RORY
I've got some time to kill before we need to leave for grandma and grandpa's house. I think I'll go over to the market and get some food for tomorrow.
LORELAI
That'd be great.
Lorelai reaches under the counter and pulls out her purse and gives Rory some money.
LORELAI (cont'd)
Now, don't forget to balance out the chips and soda with the proper amount of chocolate.
RORY
I won't. I'll see you at home.
INT. DOOSE'S MARKET
Rory is shopping in the market. She goes over to the chips section and starts dumping a ton of junk food into the cart. DEAN walks up, carrying a box to stock the shelves. There is an awkward silence.
RORY
Hi.
DEAN
Hi.
RORY
How are you?
DEAN
(short)
Fine. How's Jess?
RORY
He's fine.
DEAN
Just fine? Trouble in paradise already?
RORY
We're not dating.
DEAN
Why not? I figured you two would get together the second after we broke up.
RORY
Dean, please don't be this way. I said I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you.
DEAN
Yeah, you've said that already.
RORY
Besides, it was your decision to break up.
DEAN
No, it wasn't. You broke up with me a long time ago, you just never told me.
RORY
You're right. I'm sorry things happened the way they did. I don't know what else to say.
DEAN
You don't have to say anything.
(beat)
I'll come back to stock this stuff later.
RORY
No, that's okay. I'm just about done.
Rory grabs a few more items and places them in the cart.
RORY (cont'd)
All done.
Dean looks at all the food in Rory's cart.
DEAN
That's a lot of junk food, even for you.
RORY
Well, it's John Hughes Day.
DEAN
Already?
RORY
Yep. Time flies.
DEAN
I guess so.
Rory hands out a piece of paper to Dean.
RORY
Here's the movie schedule, if you're interested in going.
DEAN
I don't think so.
RORY
I understand.
(beat)
I guess I'll get out of your way.
DEAN
I'd appreciate that.
RORY
Okay. Well, see ya.
DEAN
See ya.
Rory walks away.
EXT. SIDEWALK - OUTSIDE DOOSE'S
Rory walks out of the market with her groceries. LANE comes running up to Rory.
LANE
Rory, I have to talk to you.
RORY
Is everything okay?
LANE
Okay? Beyond okay. Today is the best day ever!
RORY
What happened?
LANE
Dave called me up and asked me to go to the movies with him.
RORY
That's great. I knew he liked you.
LANE
He wants to pick me up at my house. At my house! Dave actually wants to meet my mother.
RORY
He wants to meet your mother? What is he, a masochist?
LANE
He says that he likes me and doesn't want to sneak around. On the one hand, I think that's very mature. On the other hand, I know my mom won't like him. He's not Korean, he has no aspirations to be a doctor, and he's into rock music. I know she won't let me go out with him. I don't know what to do. I don't want what happened with Henry to happen with Dave. I really like him.
RORY
You two are perfect for each other.
LANE
How can I get my mother to like him?
RORY
Beats me. I've known you my whole life and she still doesn't like me.
LANE
Until I figure out what to do, I'm going to tell my mom that I'm going to the movies with you on Saturday, okay?
RORY
I'm not sure that's a good idea. Saturday is John Hughes Day. Everyone knows what I'll be doing all day.
LANE
I forgot. That's even better! I can go to that and I'll just have Dave meet me there. It's okay if he comes, right?
RORY
Of course. The more, the merrier.
LANE
Awesome. I'll just have to make up a reason why Dave can't pick me up at my house. I need to get back to the store. I'll see you later.
RORY
See you later. Congratulations!
Lane runs off. Jess walks up next to Rory.
JESS
Hey.
RORY
Hey.
JESS
Need some help with those bags?
RORY
Thanks.
Rory gives one of the grocery bags to Jess. They walk in silence for a moment.
JESS
(beat)
Are you okay?
RORY
I'm fine. Why?
JESS
I saw you talking to Dean in the market and now you're not too talkative.
RORY
Well, my conversation with Dean didn't go too well. He's so mad at me.
JESS
He'll get over it.
RORY
How do you know?
JESS
What other choice does he have?
RORY
(sharp)
He could be pissed off at me for the rest of my life.
JESS
Sorry I said anything.
RORY
I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap at you. I just feel bad about Dean. I didn't mean to hurt him.
JESS
You didn't hurt him on purpose.
RORY
I know, but I still feel bad about it.
JESS
Well, it's better to have some hurt feelings than try to hang on to a relationship that isn't working.
RORY
You speak from experience?
JESS
You could say that.
(beat)
Plus, I watched a bunch of talk shows back when I was cutting school. That seemed like a good stock answer.
RORY
(laughs)
I feel so special. Thanks for sharing.
JESS
You should feel special. I don't dispense these platitudes to just anyone.
Rory and Jess continue walking and talking in a friendly way.
END OF ACT ONE
**********
ACT TWO
INT. LUKE'S DINER -AFTERNOON
Lorelai and Rory walk in and sit at the counter.
LUKE
What are you doing here? Aren't you going to your parents?
LORELAI
We've got a few minutes before we have to leave so we thought we'd take the opportunity to get out and stretch our arms a little.
Lorelai makes a drinking motion.
RORY
That's Gilmore for "Two coffees, please."
Luke gets two cups and pours their coffee. Rory looks around and sees Jess wiping off a table. He nods at her and she nods back.
LORELAI
You know, I thought for sure that after you and Dean broke up, he'd be all over you like...
RORY
A cheap suit?
LORELAI
I don't like that expression. I was trying to come up with something better like "He's all over you like fungus on bread in our refrigerator."
RORY
Jess is not fungus.
LORELAI
I'll need a note from his doctor before I accept that.
RORY
Mom, stop.
LORELAI
What's the deal? You're unattached now and you like him. I don't understand why you're not making my life miserable by going out with him.
RORY
You think I should go out with him?
LORELAI
No. I'm just surprised that you're not.
RORY
Well, maybe he doesn't like me.
LORELAI
Yes, he does. You know he does. He's just messing with me.
RORY
What?
LORELAI
He's playing with me because he knows that I know that he likes you and it drives me crazy.
RORY
I'm sure Jess has better things to do than come up with ways to drive you crazy.
LORELAI
I'm not sure he does.
RORY
Luke, when exactly did my mom lose her mind?
LUKE
I think it was when she named my toolbox.
RORY
How is Bert, by the way?
LUKE
(beat)
You two really need to stop drinking so much caffeine.
Lorelai raises her coffee mug for a toast.
LORELAI
To Bert.
RORY
To Bert.
Luke shakes his head.
LORELAI
Well, we better get going. We'll see you tomorrow?
LUKE
I don't think so. I still cannot believe that the people in this town have nothing better to do than on a Saturday than sit around and watch cheesy 80's movies all day long.
LORELAI
Hey, don't think I didn't see you sneak in last year to watch Vacation.
JESS
(to Luke)
Busted.
LUKE
Shut up. That was totally different. Vacation is a good movie.
RORY
Okay, I take it that Luke is not going, but Jess, the first movie is at 1:00. Make sure you get there early or you might have trouble finding a seat.
JESS
You actually think I'd be interested in going to this?
RORY
Of course. It's tradition. Plus, you're a teenager. It's like, required viewing for teenagers.
JESS
Nice try. I'm not going to waste my whole day watching movies with a bunch of Stars Hollow nutcases.
Rory and Lorelai stare at Jess.
JESS (cont'd)
I'm not!
Rory and Lorelai remain silent and stare at Jess. Jess looks over at Luke, hoping he'll help him out. Luke decides to save Jess.
LUKE
Actually, he can't.
Jess, Rory, and Lorelai look at Luke, surprised.
LORELAI
He can't?
LUKE
No. Cesar's away for the weekend and I'm going to need Jess' help.
RORY
Well, what about in the evening? You can make it to the second half.
LUKE
We made plans already.
RORY
What plans?
LUKE
Man, you're nosy. Remember when you used to be scared of me? Those were the days.
Jess snorts.
JESS
You were scared of Luke?
RORY
Well, he's not that friendly when you first meet him - especially to children and young teens.
KIRK
He's not all that friendly after you meet him, either.
LUKE
Shut up, Kirk.
KIRK
See?
LORELAI
Okay, can we get back to the subject?
RORY
I've forgotten what the subject is.
LORELAI
The big plans that Luke and Jess have tomorrow night that they can't make it to the movies.
RORY
Oh, right.
LORELAI
(to Luke)
So, spill it.
LUKE
It's just... guy stuff. You wouldn't be interested.
LORELAI
You would think so, but actually, I'm very interested. What kind of guy stuff?
Luke hesitates.
JESS
Cards.
RORY
What?
JESS
Cards... we're playing cards.
(beat)
Poker.
RORY
You're playing poker?
JESS
Yes.
RORY
Tomorrow night?
JESS
Yes.
LORELAI
Isn't that usually played with more than two people?
LUKE
Sometimes.
KIRK
(eagerly)
I'll play.
LORELAI
(indignant)
Traitor!
KIRK
I'm sorry, but I haven't gambled since I was banned from Milford Jai-alai and I miss the rush.
LORELAI
How do you get banned from betting on jai-alai?
KIRK
Long story, but I still contend those players were on the take.
LORELAI
Oookay.
(to Luke)
Well, there you go. Now you've got three people to play.
LUKE
(unenthused)
Great.
RORY
Maybe Jackson will want to play, too.
LORELAI
I'll give him a call and ask him.
LUKE
That's really not necessary.
LORELAI
Hey, it's no problem. I'm sure he'd love a night of doing guy stuff. It's important to have some male bonding every once in a while, don't you think?
LUKE
I think that-
LORELAI
You don't really have to answer. It was more of a rhetorical question.
TAYLOR walks in.
LORELAI
Hey, Taylor.
TAYLOR
Hello, Lorelai.
LORELAI
I'm glad you stopped by. Luke was just saying that he was looking for some guys to play poker with tomorrow night.
LUKE
I was not-
LORELAI
(to Taylor)
You interested?
TAYLOR
(hesitates)
Well... I don't know.
LUKE
(quickly)
Oh, too bad.
TAYLOR
On second thought, I haven't had a boy's night out in quite a while. Why not? Count me in.
LORELAI
Great!
TAYLOR
What time?
LORELAI
(to Luke)
7:30?
LUKE
Fine.
LORELAI
7:30 it is. Well, I think my job here is done. Come, Rory, we don't want to overstay our welcome.
LUKE
Since when?
Lorelai and Rory walk out. Luke gives Jess a look to kill.
JESS
What?
LUKE
I have to close early on a Saturday night to play poker with Kirk, Taylor, and Jackson because you wouldn't just give in and watch their stupid movies.
JESS
It's called having a backbone. You should try growing one.
LUKE
You owe me big time.
INT. RICHARD AND EMILY'S HOUSE - DINING ROOM
RICHARD, EMILY, Lorelai, and Rory are sitting around the dining room table.
RICHARD
So, Rory, how go the college applications?
RORY
I just sent out my last application. Now it's just a matter of wait and see.
RICHARD
I think the waiting is probably the hardest part of the whole process.
RORY
It is nerve-wracking.
EMILY
I'm sure you have nothing to worry about.
RICHARD
I agree. I think you're an absolute shoo-in at Yale.
RORY
I'm not so sure there is such a thing as a shoo-in, but I can hope.
LORELAI
And why do you only mention Yale? What about Harvard?
RICHARD
Well, I don't have any pull at Harvard.
LORELAI
Maybe she doesn't need your pull, Dad. Isn't it possible that she can get in on her own merits?
RICHARD
Yes, of course. I'm sorry, Rory. I didn't mean to imply that you weren't going to get into Harvard. I simply meant that in such a competitive environment, it helps to have any advantage-
RORY
That's okay, Grandpa. I know what you meant.
Lorelai notices that there is a new maid.
LORELAI
Hey, Mom. Isn't that a new-
EMILY
Yes, it is.
LORELAI
What happened to-
EMILY
She was let go, and deservedly so.
LORELAI
But I thought you were going to-
EMILY
Lorelai, please don't start.
LORELAI
Don't start what?
EMILY
You know as well as I do that maid was horrible. Even so, your father continues to chide me about the turnover rate for our hired help, so just don't start because I don't want to hear it.
LORELAI
Fine, I won't start.
EMILY
Thank you.
LORELAI
That's really the best thing, because if I don't start anything, then I wouldn't have to finish anything, which would really free up a lot of time. Of course, according to you, I don't finish anything I start, anyway, so it really shouldn't make a difference if I started something or not, right?
Everyone is silent for a moment.
RORY
Mental disease can skip a generation, can't it?
EMILY
Yes, I believe it can.
(beat)
That explains quite a bit, now that I think about it.
RICHARD
Is that a slight against my mother?
LORELAI
Hello! I believe that was directed at me.
RICHARD
Trust me, that was also directed at Lorelai the First. I must say, Emily, that I don't appreciate your attitude towards my mother and the insinuation that her mental health is less than stellar.
Lorelai makes a "What about me?" expression.
RICHARD (cont'd)
And I'm sure Lorelai doesn't appreciate it, either.
LORELAI
Thank you!
RICHARD
You're welcome. Now please stop rambling. It certainly doesn't help your case any.
Lorelai hangs her head and eats her salad. Emily smiles and drinks her water.
EMILY
So, Rory, we haven't heard much about your friend Dean recently. How is he doing?
RORY
Fine, I guess.
EMILY
What do you mean, you guess?
RORY
We broke up.
EMILY
What? When did this happen?
RORY
Just recently.
EMILY
What happened?
RORY
If it's okay, I don't really want to talk about it. Can you excuse me for a minute?
EMILY
Of course.
Rory gets up and leaves the room.
EMILY
So, what happened?
LORELAI
Mom, that's between Rory and Dean.
EMILY
This is about that boy, isn't it?
LORELAI
What boy?
EMILY
That boy Jess. The one you said was trouble. The boy that broke her arm.
LORELAI
No. Well, maybe a little, but Rory and Dean would've broken up anyway. They had been drifting apart for a long time.
EMILY
I don't understand. He seemed like a perfectly nice boy.
LORELAI
He is a perfectly nice boy, Mom, but not many people stay together with their high school sweethearts.
RICHARD
Certainly not in this family, anyway.
EMILY
Richard, that's enough.
LORELAI
You just can't let it go, can you, Dad?
RICHARD
Let what go?
LORELAI
You know what! Do you honestly think that I should have married Christopher when I was sixteen?
RICHARD
Yes, I do. He was willing to marry you and you pushed him away and Rory grew up without her father in her life.
LORELAI
I guess I should kiss the ground and praise the Lord that Christopher was willing to marry me.
EMILY
No need to be so dramatic, Lorelai.
LORELAI
I am so sick of you blaming the fact that Christopher is not around entirely on me!
RICHARD
He asked you to marry him and you said no. Who else is there to blame, Lorelai?
LORELAI
I know Christopher is more responsible now, but he wasn't always this way! He was a screw-up back then, you're just too blinded by your disappointment in me to see that! It would never have worked out with us if we had gotten married.
RICHARD
What about Rory? Did it occur to you to think that maybe it would've been in her best interest to have her father around when she was growing up?
LORELAI
I tried to do what I thought was right for Rory and getting married when I knew it wouldn't work out wasn't right. Honestly, Dad, do you really think that if Christopher and I had gotten married when we were that young, it would have worked out between us?
RICHARD
I don't know, but I do know that you should have at least tried to make it work.
LORELAI
Neither one of us was ready to be married. It would have been a disaster and Rory probably wouldn't see Christopher at all now.
RICHARD
Well, with that attitude, of course it wasn't going to work.
LORELAI
I tried to make it work when the timing was right. When Christopher and I had finally gotten our acts together and we actually had a real shot of making it work and could provide a reasonably stable environment for Rory.
RICHARD
Too little, too late, if you ask me.
LORELAI
Nobody's asking you!
RICHARD
Lower your voice, Lorelai.
LORELAI
The fact that Christopher and I are not together right now cannot possibly be construed as my fault, and yet you find a way to make it my fault, as always. If you want to place the blame on someone for Christopher and I not being together, take a good look at St. Christopher himself. He managed to get his girlfriend pregnant all by himself.
RICHARD
I'm not talking about now, Lorelai. I'm talking about the past.
LORELAI
Why can't you let it go? That was a long time ago. I'm doing fine and Rory's doing great and that's not good enough for you. You have always backed up Christopher and acted like he was the wronged one all these years. Why can't you ever once, just once, try to see my side of things?
RICHARD
Because your side of things is wrong.
EMILY
Richard!
LORELAI
Thanks, Dad. As always, it's been a real treat.
Lorelai picks up her bag.
LORELAI
(yells)
Rory! We're going.
EMILY
Lorelai, wait. Please don't go. We haven't had dessert yet.
Rory comes into the room.
LORELAI
We're leaving. I'm not going to listen to him insult me anymore. I know I've made mistakes, but he's not willing to even try to listen to what I have to say. Let's go, Rory.
EMILY
Lorelai, wait.
Lorelai walks out. Rory looks distressed, but follows Lorelai out.
INT. LUKE'S DINER
Luke is in the diner. Lorelai walks in.
LUKE
You are unbelievable. You eat here during the day, you're here before you go to your parents, you eat at your parents' house, and then you come back here to eat.
LORELAI
I don't need any food. Can I just have some coffee?
LUKE
Rough night?
LORELAI
Yep. It was another screaming match at the Gilmore house. We should start selling tickets.
(beat)
Did you get along with your parents?
LUKE
Yeah, sure. I mean, we had our fights like anyone else, but it was never anything permanently damaging. Just your typical teenage crap.
LORELAI
That must have been nice.
LUKE
Fighting with my parents?
LORELAI
Well, not the fighting, but the making up. To have parents that supported you and cared about you, no matter what. That must be a good feeling.
LUKE
I guess so. I never really thought about it.
LORELAI
My parents just can't get over the fact that I ruined their lives when I was 16 by getting pregnant and not getting married. Here it is, 18 years later, and we just can't get past it. I swear, my father cares more about Christopher than he does about me.
LUKE
Come on.
LORELAI
It's true. It's like Christopher walks on water and I... I don't know what. I don't understand it.
LUKE
Well, some people hold their family to a higher standard than people who aren't in the family.
LORELAI
I guess so.
LUKE
Cheer up. You've got your movie thing going on tomorrow.
LORELAI
Yeah, I guess.
LUKE
You really are in a bad mood if you're not even excited about that stupid thing.
LORELAI
I am excited. It's kind of bittersweet, though.
LUKE
Why's that?
LORELAI
Well, with Rory going to college next year, this is probably the last time that we're going to do be able to do this.
LUKE
Harvard isn't that far away. She can come home on weekends, right?
LORELAI
I guess, but she'll be busy studying. It's just not going to be the same.
LUKE
Well, maybe it shouldn't be.
LORELAI
What do you mean?
LUKE
I know you two have this unique relationship, but Rory is growing up. She's going to college. She's going to gain a little independence. You're not always going to be together.
LORELAI
I know. It's just hard for me to accept. I don't know what I'm going to do without her next year. It's always been Rory and me. No matter what was happening in my life, I always had Rory. We do everything together. I'm trying to be supportive and happy for her, but in the back of my mind, I keep thinking "Oh,.my God, she's leaving." I can't handle it.
LUKE
You can handle it.
LORELAI
I really don't think I can.
LUKE
Yes, you can. You two have been planning for this her whole life. You're just getting freaked out now that's it's actually happening.
LORELAI
I guess.
LUKE
Think about it - when Rory was gone over the summer, you handled it.
LORELAI
Yeah, but I called her all the time.
LUKE
I know I didn't go to college, but I'm sure they have phones there.
LORELAI
Also, I knew she was coming back.
LUKE
Lorelai, she's just going to college, not the Mir Space Station. She'll be home more than you think.
LORELAI
She will?
LUKE
Sure. There are holiday weekends, right?
LORELAI
Right. And there's a long winter break. And another break in the spring.
LUKE
There you go.
LORELAI
And the entire summer.
(beat)
Geez, I can't get rid of this kid.
LUKE
See? It's not going to be so bad. You'll adjust.
LORELAI
You realize that I'm probably going to be in here even more than usual next year, right?
LUKE
I'll set up a cot for you in the storage room.
LORELAI
That'd be great.
LUKE
You'll be fine. You'll just have to keep yourself busy.
LORELAI
I could join a book club.
LUKE
Or you could get moving on your plans to open your inn with Sookie.
LORELAI
Well, there have been some issues with that, but I get your point. Thanks. You always know how to calm me down when I'm freaking out.
LUKE
You're welcome.
LORELAI
You're not planning on leaving Stars Hollow anytime soon, are you? I would require at least 3 to 4 years notice so I could adjust and find another therapist.
LUKE
I'm not going anywhere.
LORELAI
Glad to hear it.
Lorelai drinks her coffee.
END OF ACT TWO
**********
ACT THREE
INT. LORELAI'S HOUSE - RORY'S BEDROOM - MORNING
Rory's alarm clock goes off. She reaches over without opening her eyes and slams it off. The song I Go Crazy by Flesh for Lulu starts playing outside Rory's room. Rory sits up on her bed, eyes still closed. Her head starts rocking to the music. She slowly opens her eyes and she gets out of bed. She shuffles over to the door, half asleep, head bobbing to the music. She opens her door and walks into the kitchen. Lorelai is in the kitchen, dancing to the music. When she sees Rory, she turns down the music.
LORELAI
Happy John Hughes Day!
RORY
(yawning)
Happy John Hughes Day.
LORELAI
Time to get a move on. We've got a lot to do before the first movie starts. We've got to pass out some flyers with the schedule and go to Doose's Market and wipe Taylor out of his junk food.
RORY
Okay.
LORELAI
Hey, a little more enthusiasm please!
RORY
I'm sorry, I just woke up a minute ago. I still need time to adjust to light, sound... air. Is there any coffee ready?
LORELAI
I just put some on. Why don't you take the first shower and the coffee will be ready when you're done.
RORY
Sure.
Rory starts to walk towards the bathroom. After two or three steps, she turns around.
RORY (cont'd)
Cue the shower music, please.
LORELAI
(beaming)
That's my girl!
Lorelai goes over to the CD player and starts to play Miss Amanda Jones by The March Violets.
LORELAI (cont'd)
Don't forget to spin around when you're in the shower.
RORY
I won't.
There's a knock at the door. Lorelai opens the door and finds KIRK standing outside. Kirk is feeling a little awkward talking to Lorelai ever since he asked her out on a date.
LORELAI
Hey, Kirk. Happy John Hughes Day.
KIRK
Same to you. I'm here to deliver your big screen t.v.
LORELAI
Oh, thanks, but it actually needs to go over to Miss Patty's.
KIRK
(looks at his clipboard)
Miss Patty's?
LORELAI
Yeah. The event has gotten too big for our house so Miss Patty said we could use her dance studio.
KIRK
Oh. Sorry about that. The order form must have been filled out wrong.
LORELAI
That's no problem.
Kirk starts to walk off. Lorelai tries to patch things up so things are not so awkward between Kirk and herself.
LORELAI (cont'd)
Hey, Kirk?
KIRK
Yeah?
LORELAI
Are we going to see you there?
KIRK
I'm not sure if I can make it.
LORELAI
Oh, okay.
KIRK
Because, you know, I've got work and everything.
LORELAI
I understand. I hope you can find a way to make it, though. It's going to be a good marathon. We're sticking strictly to the teenage angst theme this year.
KIRK
Ahh, the classics.
(beat)
What time does Weird Science start?
LORELAI
Sorry, we didn't pick that one this year.
KIRK
Ferris Bueller?
LORELAI
Nope.
KIRK
Damn. I love that part where the teacher is doing the roll call.
(imitates Ben Stein)
Bueller... Bueller.
(beat)
I don't know how that guy keeps a straight face.
LORELAI
Me, neither.
KIRK
Which ones did you pick?
LORELAI
Well, we've got the standards, of course -- Breakfast Club and Sixteen Candles. The wildcards are Pretty in Pink and Some Kind of Wonderful.
KIRK
So, it's a total chick flick marathon.
LORELAI
Yep. The first movie starts at 1:00.
KIRK
See you there.
Kirk leaves. Lorelai closes the door, smiles, and turns up the music.
LORELAI
I love this day!
INT. LUKE'S DINER
Jess and Luke are in the diner. Taylor, Kirk, and JACKSON walk in.
JACKSON
Hey, Luke.
LUKE
Hey.
JACKSON
This was a really great idea to get together and have a boy's night out.
LUKE
Yeah, well, you can thank Jess for this.
TAYLOR
I wasn't sure if you had any, but I brought some of those old-fashioned visors to wear.
LUKE
Uh, no, I don't have any of those.
Kirk holds up a CD player.
KIRK
And I brought some music for the occasion. I hope everyone likes Kenny Rogers.
JESS
(to Luke)
I am not wearing a visor.
LUKE
That's the price you pay for having a backbone.
JACKSON
I brought some finger foods that we can munch on.
LUKE
Thanks.
Luke places the appetizers on the counter where he has some soda and bowls of chips out.
TAYLOR
Does anyone mind if we get started right away? I don't want to be home too late.
KIRK
Fine with me.
They all sit down at the table and look at each other.
JACKSON
Did anyone bring cards?
TAYLOR
I didn't.
KIRK
Me, neither.
JESS
I've got some upstairs. I'll get them.
Jess leaves to go get the cards.
TAYLOR
Oh, wonderful. His cards are probably marked.
LUKE
Taylor, if you don't want to play with Jess, you can leave.
TAYLOR
I'll stay, but I'll be watching him like a hawk.
JACKSON
Leave him alone, Taylor. Besides, if anyone is going to cheat, it would be Kirk.
KIRK
Hey!
LUKE
Okay, everyone, just take it easy.
Jess comes down with a few decks of cards. He sits down at the table.
JESS
Sorry it took so long. I had to make sure I picked the decks that had all the aces marked.
Taylor rolls his eyes.
LUKE
Let's just start playing. We'll rotate who deals every hand. Jess, you go first.
TAYLOR
Of course.
Jess shuffles the cards and places them in front of Taylor. Taylor looks at Jess suspiciously.
JESS
(annoyed)
Are you going to cut the cards?
Taylor taps the top of the deck. Jess rolls his eyes and picks up the deck.
KIRK
Why didn't you cut the cards?
TAYLOR
He wanted me to cut them.
Jess starts dealing the cards.
JESS
The game is five card draw.
Jess deals a card in front of himself. He hesitates for a second before continuing the deal.
JESS (cont'd)
Aces are wild.
LUKE
(exasperated that Jess is egging Taylor on)
Jess!
JESS
Relax. I was just kidding.
Jess continues to deal the cards.
TIME CUT TO:
All the players are holding cards. The song "The Gambler" by Kenny Rogers is playing in the background.
LUKE
I can't take this song anymore. Can we put something else on or just turn it off?
KIRK
Excuse me for trying to add a little
ambiance.
Kirk walks over and turns off the music. He picks up a flyer from the counter and goes back to the table.
JACKSON
Taylor, it's your turn to bet.
TAYLOR
I will see your 25 cents and raise you...
(drops a piece of paper to the pot)
25 cents.
LUKE
What the hell is this?
(picks up the paper)
You can't bet using coupons!
TAYLOR
Why not?
KIRK
Because we're playing for money.
TAYLOR
A coupon is just as good as money, young man.
JESS
(picks up the coupon)
This is for hair color for women.
JACKSON
(takes a look at the coupon)
And it expires tomorrow.
LUKE
Taylor, no.
TAYLOR
Why not?
LUKE
It's entirely self-serving! You're making people go to your market to buy things.
TAYLOR
So, it's a win-win situation.
LUKE
We are playing for real money, and that's final!
TAYLOR
(whiny)
But I'm out of money.
JESS
We just started playing a few minutes ago!
JACKSON
You only brought 3 dollars with you?
TAYLOR
I thought it was a friendly game. I didn't realize we were playing for big stakes.
LUKE
No coupons. Those are the rules. If you don't like them, you can leave.
TAYLOR
Fine, I'm leaving.
Taylor walks out in a huff. Kirk looks at Jackson.
KIRK
You know, The Breakfast Club starts in a few minutes.
JACKSON
If we hurry, we can make it.
KIRK
Let's go.
Jackson and Kirk grab their jackets and start to walk out. Kirk reaches over and picks up the coupon from the table on his way out.
JACKSON
Bye, Luke. Bye, Jess. Thanks for the game. It was fun!
Luke and Jess look at each other.
JESS
Unbelievable.
LUKE
You can go, too, if you want. I'll clean up.
Jess starts dealing cards between himself and Luke.
JESS
Five card hold 'em. You in?
LUKE
I'm in.
Luke and Jess pick up their cards.
JESS
I don't take coupons.
Luke smiles and puts his ante in.
JESS
Hey, Luke?
LUKE
Yeah?
JESS
Thanks.
LUKE
For what?
JESS
This. Tonight. The poker.
LUKE
No problem. I know the Gilmores can get a little pushy at times.
JESS
At times?
LUKE
Yeah... all the time.
JESS
Well, thanks.
LUKE
You're welcome.
END OF ACT THREE
**********
ACT FOUR
INT. LUKE'S DINER
Lorelai walks in.
LUKE
Is the marathon over already?
LORELAI
Nope, we've got one more left. I just thought I'd take a break before the next movie started. I saw Jackson and Kirk over at Miss Patty's. What happened to the poker game?
LUKE
It finished early, thank God.
LORELAI
I didn't think you would actually go through with it. Did you have any fun at all?
LUKE
It was exactly what you would expect if you were playing cards with Jackson, Kirk, and Taylor, only worse.
LORELAI
Well, you're more than welcome to join us for the last screening.
LUKE
No, thanks.
LORELAI
Come on. It's Sixteen Candles. A classic.
LUKE
No.
LORELAI
It'll be fun.
LUKE
No.
LORELAI
You can make Jess go, too, as punishment for the poker game.
LUKE
That's not punishment enough.
LORELAI
I'm going to stand here and bug you by quoting lines from the movie until you change your mind and come with me.
LUKE
Knock yourself out.
LORELAI
(beat)
I'm not really a farmer. I'm a freshman.
(beat)
Dong, where is my automobile? Auto-mobile?
(beat)
Ooohhh.... sexy girlfriend.
(beat)
I can't believe that my grandmother actually felt me up.
LUKE
(yells)
Jess! Grab your coat and get down here!
INT. MISS PATTY'S
Rory, Lane, Luke, and Jess walk in and look for seats.
LUKE
I can't believe how many people are here for this.
Jess points to an empty seat in the back.
JESS
(to Luke)
I'm going to sit back there so I can make a quick exit.
LUKE
Smart thinking.
Lane walks in and walks over to Rory.
LANE
Hey!
RORY
Hey. Where's Dave?
LANE
I told him to meet me here.
Dave walks in and is looking around for Lane.
LANE (cont'd)
Oh, my God. He's here. He's here! He's so cute, I can't stand it.
RORY
He is cute.
Lane keeps looking at Dave.
RORY (cont'd)
Um... maybe you should go talk to him.
LANE
I don't want him to think I'm just standing here waiting for him. He'll think I'm a loser.
RORY
Or he'll just think you like him.
LORELAI
Plus, you don't want him to leave because he thought you blew him off, either.
LANE
Good point. See ya.
Lane rushes over to meet Dave.
LORELAI
I don't know if we're going to be able to sit with all us together.
(sees a few seats together)
Ooh... there's a few.
RORY
No way. I hate sitting that close.
LORELAI
But this way you'll really be able to see.... Besides, I need someone to talk to during the movie.
RORY
You can sit over there with Luke. I'll find another seat.
LUKE
Thanks a lot.
LORELAI
Fine. Be that way.
RORY
(to Luke)
Enjoy the movie.
Rory walks away. Luke and Lorelai sit next to each other. Rory looks around for a seat and sees and empty seat next to Jess. She walks over to Jess.
RORY
Is this seat taken?
JESS
Nope.
Rory sits down next to Jess. She sees Lane sitting next to Dave and waves. Lane waves back to her, smiling. Rory sees Paris and Jamie sitting down in the back row, opposite from Jess and Rory. Paris sees Rory and waves to her. The lights go down and Sixteen Candles starts.
LORELAI
(yells)
Geeks rule. Yeah!
Luke tries to hide his face in embarrassment.
JESS
I am so glad I'm not sitting next to her.
RORY
It can be a little much if you're not used to it.
TIME CUT TO:
The scene in Sixteen Candles when Samantha talks with her father comes on. Lorelai looks sad as she thinks about her relationship with her father. Luke notices that Lorelai is sad and holds her hand to comfort her. She smiles her thanks.
TIME CUT TO:
Sixteen Candles - end of the movie.
Dave reaches over and holds Lane's hand. She smiles at him.
CUT TO:
Jamie and Paris are holding hands. They look at each other and then Jamie leans over and he and Paris start kissing.
CUT TO:
Rory is watching the movie screen, but she moves her hand to the side of her thigh so that it brushes against Jess' hand. Jess looks at Rory for a moment and then looks back at the screen, unsure what to do. Rory looks at Jess and then back at the screen, also unsure what to do.
CUT TO:
Lorelai and Luke. They are no longer holding hands. Lorelai looks at Luke in a romantic fashion. Luke leans over to Lorelai, still looking at the screen, a confused look on his face.
LUKE
Why are they sitting on a table?
LORELAI
It's romantic.
LUKE
It's stupid.
Lorelai rolls her eyes.
LORELAI
I don't know how you stayed single all these years.
The lights go on. Lorelai stands up and sees Paris making out with Jamie. Her mouth drops open. Lorelai looks over at Sookie and points to Paris.
SOOKIE
Go, Paris! Woo-hoo!
Paris and Jamie break off the kissing, embarrassed.
LORELAI
Ah... movie magic.
SOOKIE
That's so cute.
LORELAI
Doesn't that movie bring you back to the time when we were teenagers?
JACKSON
I could practically feel my face breaking out.
SOOKIE
Me, too.
(beat)
Let's go home and make out.
JACKSON
(to Lorelai)
This is my new favorite holiday.
Sookie and Jackson leave. Luke and Lorelai walk over to Jess and Rory.
LUKE
So, we've got some leftover food from the poker if anyone is interested.
LORELAI
Twist my arm.
Paris and Jamie walk up.
LORELAI
Hey, Paris. Enjoy the movie?
PARIS
(embarrassed)
Yes.
(to Rory)
We've got to get going, but I just wanted to say thanks for inviting us.
RORY
No problem. I'm glad you could make it.
PARIS
I'll see you Monday.
RORY
See you Monday. Bye, Jamie.
Paris and Jamie walk off. Lane and Dave walk up.
RORY
Hey. We're going over to the diner for some coffee, if you want to join us.
LANE
Thanks, but I've got to get home before my mom sends out the posse looking for me.
RORY
Okay. See you later. Bye, Dave.
Dave and Lane walk away.
EXT. SIDEWALK
Lane and Dave are walking down the street hand in hand.
LANE
We shouldn't be doing this.
DAVE
Walking?
LANE
Holding hands. Outside. In public. My mother is going to find out and will kill me. Actually, she would kill you.
DAVE
I'll take my chances.
Lane and Dave continue to walk, silent for a moment.
DAVE (cont'd)
What would she do if I kissed you?
LANE
(laughs)
Don't even joke about that.
Dave stops walking.
DAVE
I wasn't.
Lane is speechless. Dave leans over and kisses Lane gently. Lane smiles and reaches up and puts her arms around Dave's neck and kisses him more passionately. Mrs. Kim comes out of the house in a rush.
MRS. KIM
(yelling loudly)
Lane Kim! What are you doing?
Lane breaks off the kiss with Dave and starts walking towards her house.
LANE
I have to go.
DAVE
I'll go with you. I want to-
LANE
No, you can't. It won't help.
MRS. KIM
Lane! Get in this house right now!
LANE
Really, I have to go.
Lane runs into the house.
MRS. KIM
(to Dave)
You go away and don't come back here. You are not to see Lane, you understand?
Mrs. Kim goes into the house.
INT. LUKE'S DINER
Jess, Rory, Luke and Lorelai are sitting in the diner.
JESS
Whoa. What was that?
RORY
That was a Mama Kim.
JESS
Poor Lane.
LUKE
I've heard her yell before, but that takes the cake.
RORY
I think the whole town has just heard about Lane's first kiss.
LORELAI
You know your love life is pathetic when Paris and Lane are getting more action than you.
Luke snorts in agreement.
LUKE
Tell me about it.
RORY
Ditto.
Jess looks at Rory.
RORY (cont'd)
Hey, Jess? Can I borrow that copy of Please Kill Me from you?
JESS
Yeah, sure. It's upstairs.
Jess walks upstairs. Rory starts to follow him.
LORELAI
Rory, we really should get going.
RORY
I know. I'll be back in a minute.
LORELAI
I'm counting.
INT. LUKE'S APARTMENT
Rory and Jess are inside Luke's apartment. Jess is looking through the books on his bookshelf.
RORY
I don't think I've been in here since they finished all the construction. It looks good.
JESS
It beats sleeping on a raft on the floor.
RORY
I'm sure it does.
Jess pulls out a book from the bookshelf and hands it to Rory.
JESS
Here you go.
RORY
Thanks. I'll give it back as soon as I'm done.
JESS
Take your time.
Awkward silence.
RORY
Well, I should probably get going.
JESS
Probably.
RORY
Okay, I'll see you later.
Rory backs up into a piece of furniture. She laughs nervously and walks towards the door. When Rory gets close to the door, Jess calls out to her.
JESS
Rory, wait a second.
Rory turns around to face Jess.
JESS (cont'd)
You're still broken up with Dean, right?
RORY
Yes.
JESS
No regrets? No desire to get back together?
RORY
No.
JESS
Okay. Just checking.
RORY
Okay. See ya.
Rory turns around and reaches for the doorknob.
JESS
(quickly)
Do you want to go out with me?
Rory turns around and nods. Jess walks over to Rory and kisses her. Rory drops the book she was holding. Her knees get weak. They stumble backwards a bit and Rory gets backed up against the door. Jess presses his body against Rory and they continue kissing passionately.
END OF EPISODE
AUTHOR: Diane
FEEDBACK: ggfan@prodigy.net
DISCLAIMER: All characters belong to Amy Sherman-Palladino and the WB.
AUTHOR NOTES: This chapter was written after "Application Anxiety" aired. I assimilated some things that happened in the real show into this chapter. Therefore, even though it wasn't mentioned in chapters 1 or 2, this new chapter assumes that Lane and Dave have met, Paris and Jamie have kept in contact after Washington, and Kirk asked Lorelai out.
As always, any feedback is appreciated.
**********
TEASER
INT. LUKE'S DINER
LORELAI and RORY walk into the diner. The tables are full, so they sit down at the counter.
RORY
So, what are you in the mood for?
LORELAI
I don't know. I'm in the mood for something different.
Lorelai reaches over and picks up two menus and hands one to Rory.
LORELAI (cont'd)
I don't think I've actually looked at the menu in years. Let's see if anything has changed recently.
RORY
(reading the menu)
It doesn't look like it.
Rory rubs a spot on the menu with her napkin.
RORY (cont'd)
I think I made this coffee stain like three years ago.
LORELAI
Then I think it's a safe bet that you won't be able to get the stain out now. So, let's see here...
(starts reading from the menu)
Hamburger...$4.95
(beat)
Cheeseburger...$5.75
(beat)
Grilled Cheese...$3.75
Lorelai sees LUKE walking over to take their order. He is holding an order pad and pencil.
LORELAI (cont'd)
The look on Luke's face in about five seconds?
(beat)
Hey, Luke. I'll have the house salad with lite Ranch dressing on the side and a large glass of water.
Luke looks stunned.
RORY
(to Lorelai)
Priceless.
Luke continues to look stunned.
LORELAI
Is there a problem?
LUKE
My pencil seems to know I'm taking your order and won't write the word salad.
RORY
You've begun to think inanimate objects have minds of their own. Welcome to our world.
LORELAI
It's such a nice place to live.
LUKE
I'm going to start restricting your number of visits per week.
(to Rory)
So, you want a salad, too?
RORY
No, I'm going to have a cheeseburger, fries, and a Coke, please.
LUKE
I knew one of you had to order an artery-clogging meal.
Luke writes the order down and starts to walk away.
LORELAI
Hey, Luke?
Luke walks back over.
LUKE
What? No salad, right?
LORELAI
I'll keep the salad, but can you make it a small salad?
LUKE
How small?
LORELAI
Very small. In fact, you could just put the lettuce on top of a cheeseburger.
Luke crosses off the salad from his order pad.
LUKE
I knew it was too good to be true.
LORELAI
And instead of ranch dressing, I'll take ketchup.
LUKE
For the french fries?
LORELAI
(rubs her stomach)
Well, I really shouldn't, but all right.
LUKE
And the water?
LORELAI
I'll keep the water.
LUKE
Really?
LORELAI
Really.
(beat)
But if you could hold the ice, add some coffee grinds, and heat it up, that'd be great.
LUKE
Don't you ever get tired of trying to annoy me?
LORELAI
Um... no, not really.
Luke walks away to place the order.
RORY
You know, I almost feel bad about how much you tease him sometimes.
LORELAI
No, you don't.
RORY
I said almost.
Luke comes back and pours their coffee.
LUKE
(nods towards the papers)
What are those?
LORELAI
Some flyers we made up so everyone will know the movie schedule for Saturday. Is it okay if I drop off a few here?
LUKE
I guess, but why can't they just call the theater or look it up in the paper?
Lorelai looks astonished.
LORELAI
Don't tell me that you've forgotten what tomorrow is?
Luke glances over at JESS, who shrugs.
LUKE
Saturday?
LORELAI
Yes, it's Saturday, but that's not what I meant. Today is the most sacred day of the Gilmore calendar year.
RORY
The most revered day that beats out Thanksgiving, Christmas, Fourth of July and yes, even Valentine's Day, in it's magnitude.
LORELAI
I'll give you a hint.
(beat)
Neo-maxi zoom dweebie.
Luke groans.
LUKE
Has it been a year already?
LORELAI
Yes, it has.
JESS
What are you talking about?
RORY
John Hughes Day.
JESS
What?
LUKE
John Hughes Day. Second only in annoyance to Julie Andrews Day.
LORELAI
Blasphemy!
RORY
I can't believe Luke has failed to inform you of one of the most treasured Stars Hollow annual event.
LUKE
It is not a Stars Hollow event. It is a crazy Gilmore event.
LORELAI
On the contrary, we had so many people show up at our house last year that this year we decided to rent a big screen TV and show the movies at Miss Patty's. It's going to be open to the general public, thereby making it a Stars Hollow event.
JESS
What exactly do you do on this sacred day?
RORY
Sit around and eat a lot of junk food and watch a marathon of John Hughes movies.
JESS
Sounds...
LUKE
Idiotic? It is.
LORELAI
Watch out, mister. If you keep this talk up, you might not be included in our John Hughes Day festivities.
LUKE
You promise?
Rory and Lorelai giggle and drink their coffee.
END OF TEASER
**********
ACT ONE
INT. CHILTON - MEETING ROOM
FRANCIE, LOUISE, MADELINE, BRAD, and some other students are sitting around a table.
FRANCIE
So, where's Paris? Rather irresponsible of her to schedule an after-school meeting and then not show up, isn't it?
LOUISE
This is the second time this week.
MADELINE
Maybe she's sick.
BRAD
Paris is immune to germs.
Madeline gets up and looks out the window.
RORY
She'll be here. She's only a few minutes late.
MADELINE
She's here. Some guy just pulled up and dropped her off.
Madeline gasps.
FRANCIE
What's wrong?
MADELINE
Has Hell frozen over?
LOUISE
What are you talking about?
Everyone walks over to the window and sees PARIS kissing JAMIE outside.
BRAD
I didn't think she could do that.
LOUISE
Well, well... it looks like our Paris is growing up.
Paris and Jamie stop kissing and Paris walks into the building. The kids scramble to get back to their seats. Paris walks into the room.
PARIS
Sorry I'm late. Let's get down to business.
Paris opens up a notebook and looks at the page. All the kids are looking at her strangely. Paris drops her pen on the page.
PARIS (cont'd)
You know what? I'm really not in the mood for this. It's Friday night and I'm sure we've all got better things to do than hang around after school. What do you say we call it a day?
No one answers.
BRAD
(whispers to Rory)
Don't answer. It could be a trick.
PARIS
(to Brad)
It's not a trick, pencil-neck.
(to all)
All in favor of taking the day off, say aye.
Hesitantly, everyone says aye.
PARIS (cont'd)
Great. Meeting adjourned. Have a nice weekend everyone.
Paris picks up her books and walks out of the room. Everyone looks stunned.
MADELINE
I, for one, like the kinder, gentler Paris.
LOUISE
We should have hooked her up a long time ago.
MADELINE
Definitely.
FRANCIE
(to Rory)
Well, well. This is a most interesting turn of events. Who'd have thought that our fearless leader Paris would turn to mush when a man pays a little attention to her?
Rory walks out and catches up with Paris.
RORY
Paris, are you feeling okay?
PARIS
I'm fine. Why?
RORY
It's just not like you to cancel a meeting.
PARIS
So? What's the big deal?
RORY
No big deal. It's just... unusual.
PARIS
Oh, relax. The sun will come up tomorrow and the earth will continue to spin on its axis because I canceled a meeting.
RORY
Well, it's nice to know that the universe doesn't actually revolve around you. I was worried about that. So, I guess you've got big plans tonight?
PARIS
Jamie's visiting me this weekend. We're going out to dinner tonight.
RORY
Wow. I just hadn't realized that you two were doing the long distance dating thing.
PARIS
Don't sound so shocked.
RORY
I'm not. That's great. He seems like a great guy.
PARIS
He is. It's weird. I keep thinking I'm going to find something wrong with him - he's a cross-dresser, bites his nails, in the mob, bad breath... anything. So far, though, nothing.
RORY
That's great.
PARIS
You don't sound too thrilled.
RORY
I am. It just seems that you've been pretty distant lately during class. You're not studying as much as before. Now you're canceling meetings.
PARIS
So? It's my senior year. I have worked non-stop for as long as I can remember. Don't I deserve a break? Can't I have a little fun?
RORY
Yes, but-
PARIS
I know on planet Rory, men fight each other to throw themselves at your feet, but that doesn't happen with me. Jamie is a nice guy and he likes me. I actually have a boyfriend, just like any other girl. Can't I enjoy it while it lasts?
RORY
Yes. You're right, I'm sorry. I don't care what you do with Jamie, okay? I'm just telling you that it looks bad if you keep canceling meetings. It might... undermine your authority a little bit.
Paris stops walking and grabs Rory's arm.
PARIS
What are you talking about? What do you know that I don't know?
RORY
Nothing! I'm just suggesting that you shouldn't schedule so many meetings if you're going to end up canceling them. It doesn't look good.
PARIS
Point taken. Now, I have to go. Have a good weekend.
RORY
You, too. Hey, if you're interested, we're showing a marathon of John Hughes movies tomorrow at Miss Patty's dance studio. You and Jamie are welcome to come.
PARIS
Thanks. I'll ask him.
Paris walks off.
INT. INDEPENDENCE INN - FRONT HALL
Lorelai is behind the front counter. Rory walks in.
LORELAI
Hey, babe.
RORY
Hey, Mom.
LORELAI
Hey, what are you doing here? Didn't you have a meeting after school?
RORY
Paris canceled the meeting because she had a date tonight.
LORELAI
Wow. That doesn't sound like Paris.
RORY
I know. I feel like I'm living in some kind of bizarro world. Taylor is probably spray painting graffiti all over town as we speak.
LORELAI
And Luke's probably off somewhere scarfing down a bacon burger and chili fries, followed by a Jolt cola.
RORY
I've got some time to kill before we need to leave for grandma and grandpa's house. I think I'll go over to the market and get some food for tomorrow.
LORELAI
That'd be great.
Lorelai reaches under the counter and pulls out her purse and gives Rory some money.
LORELAI (cont'd)
Now, don't forget to balance out the chips and soda with the proper amount of chocolate.
RORY
I won't. I'll see you at home.
INT. DOOSE'S MARKET
Rory is shopping in the market. She goes over to the chips section and starts dumping a ton of junk food into the cart. DEAN walks up, carrying a box to stock the shelves. There is an awkward silence.
RORY
Hi.
DEAN
Hi.
RORY
How are you?
DEAN
(short)
Fine. How's Jess?
RORY
He's fine.
DEAN
Just fine? Trouble in paradise already?
RORY
We're not dating.
DEAN
Why not? I figured you two would get together the second after we broke up.
RORY
Dean, please don't be this way. I said I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you.
DEAN
Yeah, you've said that already.
RORY
Besides, it was your decision to break up.
DEAN
No, it wasn't. You broke up with me a long time ago, you just never told me.
RORY
You're right. I'm sorry things happened the way they did. I don't know what else to say.
DEAN
You don't have to say anything.
(beat)
I'll come back to stock this stuff later.
RORY
No, that's okay. I'm just about done.
Rory grabs a few more items and places them in the cart.
RORY (cont'd)
All done.
Dean looks at all the food in Rory's cart.
DEAN
That's a lot of junk food, even for you.
RORY
Well, it's John Hughes Day.
DEAN
Already?
RORY
Yep. Time flies.
DEAN
I guess so.
Rory hands out a piece of paper to Dean.
RORY
Here's the movie schedule, if you're interested in going.
DEAN
I don't think so.
RORY
I understand.
(beat)
I guess I'll get out of your way.
DEAN
I'd appreciate that.
RORY
Okay. Well, see ya.
DEAN
See ya.
Rory walks away.
EXT. SIDEWALK - OUTSIDE DOOSE'S
Rory walks out of the market with her groceries. LANE comes running up to Rory.
LANE
Rory, I have to talk to you.
RORY
Is everything okay?
LANE
Okay? Beyond okay. Today is the best day ever!
RORY
What happened?
LANE
Dave called me up and asked me to go to the movies with him.
RORY
That's great. I knew he liked you.
LANE
He wants to pick me up at my house. At my house! Dave actually wants to meet my mother.
RORY
He wants to meet your mother? What is he, a masochist?
LANE
He says that he likes me and doesn't want to sneak around. On the one hand, I think that's very mature. On the other hand, I know my mom won't like him. He's not Korean, he has no aspirations to be a doctor, and he's into rock music. I know she won't let me go out with him. I don't know what to do. I don't want what happened with Henry to happen with Dave. I really like him.
RORY
You two are perfect for each other.
LANE
How can I get my mother to like him?
RORY
Beats me. I've known you my whole life and she still doesn't like me.
LANE
Until I figure out what to do, I'm going to tell my mom that I'm going to the movies with you on Saturday, okay?
RORY
I'm not sure that's a good idea. Saturday is John Hughes Day. Everyone knows what I'll be doing all day.
LANE
I forgot. That's even better! I can go to that and I'll just have Dave meet me there. It's okay if he comes, right?
RORY
Of course. The more, the merrier.
LANE
Awesome. I'll just have to make up a reason why Dave can't pick me up at my house. I need to get back to the store. I'll see you later.
RORY
See you later. Congratulations!
Lane runs off. Jess walks up next to Rory.
JESS
Hey.
RORY
Hey.
JESS
Need some help with those bags?
RORY
Thanks.
Rory gives one of the grocery bags to Jess. They walk in silence for a moment.
JESS
(beat)
Are you okay?
RORY
I'm fine. Why?
JESS
I saw you talking to Dean in the market and now you're not too talkative.
RORY
Well, my conversation with Dean didn't go too well. He's so mad at me.
JESS
He'll get over it.
RORY
How do you know?
JESS
What other choice does he have?
RORY
(sharp)
He could be pissed off at me for the rest of my life.
JESS
Sorry I said anything.
RORY
I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap at you. I just feel bad about Dean. I didn't mean to hurt him.
JESS
You didn't hurt him on purpose.
RORY
I know, but I still feel bad about it.
JESS
Well, it's better to have some hurt feelings than try to hang on to a relationship that isn't working.
RORY
You speak from experience?
JESS
You could say that.
(beat)
Plus, I watched a bunch of talk shows back when I was cutting school. That seemed like a good stock answer.
RORY
(laughs)
I feel so special. Thanks for sharing.
JESS
You should feel special. I don't dispense these platitudes to just anyone.
Rory and Jess continue walking and talking in a friendly way.
END OF ACT ONE
**********
ACT TWO
INT. LUKE'S DINER -AFTERNOON
Lorelai and Rory walk in and sit at the counter.
LUKE
What are you doing here? Aren't you going to your parents?
LORELAI
We've got a few minutes before we have to leave so we thought we'd take the opportunity to get out and stretch our arms a little.
Lorelai makes a drinking motion.
RORY
That's Gilmore for "Two coffees, please."
Luke gets two cups and pours their coffee. Rory looks around and sees Jess wiping off a table. He nods at her and she nods back.
LORELAI
You know, I thought for sure that after you and Dean broke up, he'd be all over you like...
RORY
A cheap suit?
LORELAI
I don't like that expression. I was trying to come up with something better like "He's all over you like fungus on bread in our refrigerator."
RORY
Jess is not fungus.
LORELAI
I'll need a note from his doctor before I accept that.
RORY
Mom, stop.
LORELAI
What's the deal? You're unattached now and you like him. I don't understand why you're not making my life miserable by going out with him.
RORY
You think I should go out with him?
LORELAI
No. I'm just surprised that you're not.
RORY
Well, maybe he doesn't like me.
LORELAI
Yes, he does. You know he does. He's just messing with me.
RORY
What?
LORELAI
He's playing with me because he knows that I know that he likes you and it drives me crazy.
RORY
I'm sure Jess has better things to do than come up with ways to drive you crazy.
LORELAI
I'm not sure he does.
RORY
Luke, when exactly did my mom lose her mind?
LUKE
I think it was when she named my toolbox.
RORY
How is Bert, by the way?
LUKE
(beat)
You two really need to stop drinking so much caffeine.
Lorelai raises her coffee mug for a toast.
LORELAI
To Bert.
RORY
To Bert.
Luke shakes his head.
LORELAI
Well, we better get going. We'll see you tomorrow?
LUKE
I don't think so. I still cannot believe that the people in this town have nothing better to do than on a Saturday than sit around and watch cheesy 80's movies all day long.
LORELAI
Hey, don't think I didn't see you sneak in last year to watch Vacation.
JESS
(to Luke)
Busted.
LUKE
Shut up. That was totally different. Vacation is a good movie.
RORY
Okay, I take it that Luke is not going, but Jess, the first movie is at 1:00. Make sure you get there early or you might have trouble finding a seat.
JESS
You actually think I'd be interested in going to this?
RORY
Of course. It's tradition. Plus, you're a teenager. It's like, required viewing for teenagers.
JESS
Nice try. I'm not going to waste my whole day watching movies with a bunch of Stars Hollow nutcases.
Rory and Lorelai stare at Jess.
JESS (cont'd)
I'm not!
Rory and Lorelai remain silent and stare at Jess. Jess looks over at Luke, hoping he'll help him out. Luke decides to save Jess.
LUKE
Actually, he can't.
Jess, Rory, and Lorelai look at Luke, surprised.
LORELAI
He can't?
LUKE
No. Cesar's away for the weekend and I'm going to need Jess' help.
RORY
Well, what about in the evening? You can make it to the second half.
LUKE
We made plans already.
RORY
What plans?
LUKE
Man, you're nosy. Remember when you used to be scared of me? Those were the days.
Jess snorts.
JESS
You were scared of Luke?
RORY
Well, he's not that friendly when you first meet him - especially to children and young teens.
KIRK
He's not all that friendly after you meet him, either.
LUKE
Shut up, Kirk.
KIRK
See?
LORELAI
Okay, can we get back to the subject?
RORY
I've forgotten what the subject is.
LORELAI
The big plans that Luke and Jess have tomorrow night that they can't make it to the movies.
RORY
Oh, right.
LORELAI
(to Luke)
So, spill it.
LUKE
It's just... guy stuff. You wouldn't be interested.
LORELAI
You would think so, but actually, I'm very interested. What kind of guy stuff?
Luke hesitates.
JESS
Cards.
RORY
What?
JESS
Cards... we're playing cards.
(beat)
Poker.
RORY
You're playing poker?
JESS
Yes.
RORY
Tomorrow night?
JESS
Yes.
LORELAI
Isn't that usually played with more than two people?
LUKE
Sometimes.
KIRK
(eagerly)
I'll play.
LORELAI
(indignant)
Traitor!
KIRK
I'm sorry, but I haven't gambled since I was banned from Milford Jai-alai and I miss the rush.
LORELAI
How do you get banned from betting on jai-alai?
KIRK
Long story, but I still contend those players were on the take.
LORELAI
Oookay.
(to Luke)
Well, there you go. Now you've got three people to play.
LUKE
(unenthused)
Great.
RORY
Maybe Jackson will want to play, too.
LORELAI
I'll give him a call and ask him.
LUKE
That's really not necessary.
LORELAI
Hey, it's no problem. I'm sure he'd love a night of doing guy stuff. It's important to have some male bonding every once in a while, don't you think?
LUKE
I think that-
LORELAI
You don't really have to answer. It was more of a rhetorical question.
TAYLOR walks in.
LORELAI
Hey, Taylor.
TAYLOR
Hello, Lorelai.
LORELAI
I'm glad you stopped by. Luke was just saying that he was looking for some guys to play poker with tomorrow night.
LUKE
I was not-
LORELAI
(to Taylor)
You interested?
TAYLOR
(hesitates)
Well... I don't know.
LUKE
(quickly)
Oh, too bad.
TAYLOR
On second thought, I haven't had a boy's night out in quite a while. Why not? Count me in.
LORELAI
Great!
TAYLOR
What time?
LORELAI
(to Luke)
7:30?
LUKE
Fine.
LORELAI
7:30 it is. Well, I think my job here is done. Come, Rory, we don't want to overstay our welcome.
LUKE
Since when?
Lorelai and Rory walk out. Luke gives Jess a look to kill.
JESS
What?
LUKE
I have to close early on a Saturday night to play poker with Kirk, Taylor, and Jackson because you wouldn't just give in and watch their stupid movies.
JESS
It's called having a backbone. You should try growing one.
LUKE
You owe me big time.
INT. RICHARD AND EMILY'S HOUSE - DINING ROOM
RICHARD, EMILY, Lorelai, and Rory are sitting around the dining room table.
RICHARD
So, Rory, how go the college applications?
RORY
I just sent out my last application. Now it's just a matter of wait and see.
RICHARD
I think the waiting is probably the hardest part of the whole process.
RORY
It is nerve-wracking.
EMILY
I'm sure you have nothing to worry about.
RICHARD
I agree. I think you're an absolute shoo-in at Yale.
RORY
I'm not so sure there is such a thing as a shoo-in, but I can hope.
LORELAI
And why do you only mention Yale? What about Harvard?
RICHARD
Well, I don't have any pull at Harvard.
LORELAI
Maybe she doesn't need your pull, Dad. Isn't it possible that she can get in on her own merits?
RICHARD
Yes, of course. I'm sorry, Rory. I didn't mean to imply that you weren't going to get into Harvard. I simply meant that in such a competitive environment, it helps to have any advantage-
RORY
That's okay, Grandpa. I know what you meant.
Lorelai notices that there is a new maid.
LORELAI
Hey, Mom. Isn't that a new-
EMILY
Yes, it is.
LORELAI
What happened to-
EMILY
She was let go, and deservedly so.
LORELAI
But I thought you were going to-
EMILY
Lorelai, please don't start.
LORELAI
Don't start what?
EMILY
You know as well as I do that maid was horrible. Even so, your father continues to chide me about the turnover rate for our hired help, so just don't start because I don't want to hear it.
LORELAI
Fine, I won't start.
EMILY
Thank you.
LORELAI
That's really the best thing, because if I don't start anything, then I wouldn't have to finish anything, which would really free up a lot of time. Of course, according to you, I don't finish anything I start, anyway, so it really shouldn't make a difference if I started something or not, right?
Everyone is silent for a moment.
RORY
Mental disease can skip a generation, can't it?
EMILY
Yes, I believe it can.
(beat)
That explains quite a bit, now that I think about it.
RICHARD
Is that a slight against my mother?
LORELAI
Hello! I believe that was directed at me.
RICHARD
Trust me, that was also directed at Lorelai the First. I must say, Emily, that I don't appreciate your attitude towards my mother and the insinuation that her mental health is less than stellar.
Lorelai makes a "What about me?" expression.
RICHARD (cont'd)
And I'm sure Lorelai doesn't appreciate it, either.
LORELAI
Thank you!
RICHARD
You're welcome. Now please stop rambling. It certainly doesn't help your case any.
Lorelai hangs her head and eats her salad. Emily smiles and drinks her water.
EMILY
So, Rory, we haven't heard much about your friend Dean recently. How is he doing?
RORY
Fine, I guess.
EMILY
What do you mean, you guess?
RORY
We broke up.
EMILY
What? When did this happen?
RORY
Just recently.
EMILY
What happened?
RORY
If it's okay, I don't really want to talk about it. Can you excuse me for a minute?
EMILY
Of course.
Rory gets up and leaves the room.
EMILY
So, what happened?
LORELAI
Mom, that's between Rory and Dean.
EMILY
This is about that boy, isn't it?
LORELAI
What boy?
EMILY
That boy Jess. The one you said was trouble. The boy that broke her arm.
LORELAI
No. Well, maybe a little, but Rory and Dean would've broken up anyway. They had been drifting apart for a long time.
EMILY
I don't understand. He seemed like a perfectly nice boy.
LORELAI
He is a perfectly nice boy, Mom, but not many people stay together with their high school sweethearts.
RICHARD
Certainly not in this family, anyway.
EMILY
Richard, that's enough.
LORELAI
You just can't let it go, can you, Dad?
RICHARD
Let what go?
LORELAI
You know what! Do you honestly think that I should have married Christopher when I was sixteen?
RICHARD
Yes, I do. He was willing to marry you and you pushed him away and Rory grew up without her father in her life.
LORELAI
I guess I should kiss the ground and praise the Lord that Christopher was willing to marry me.
EMILY
No need to be so dramatic, Lorelai.
LORELAI
I am so sick of you blaming the fact that Christopher is not around entirely on me!
RICHARD
He asked you to marry him and you said no. Who else is there to blame, Lorelai?
LORELAI
I know Christopher is more responsible now, but he wasn't always this way! He was a screw-up back then, you're just too blinded by your disappointment in me to see that! It would never have worked out with us if we had gotten married.
RICHARD
What about Rory? Did it occur to you to think that maybe it would've been in her best interest to have her father around when she was growing up?
LORELAI
I tried to do what I thought was right for Rory and getting married when I knew it wouldn't work out wasn't right. Honestly, Dad, do you really think that if Christopher and I had gotten married when we were that young, it would have worked out between us?
RICHARD
I don't know, but I do know that you should have at least tried to make it work.
LORELAI
Neither one of us was ready to be married. It would have been a disaster and Rory probably wouldn't see Christopher at all now.
RICHARD
Well, with that attitude, of course it wasn't going to work.
LORELAI
I tried to make it work when the timing was right. When Christopher and I had finally gotten our acts together and we actually had a real shot of making it work and could provide a reasonably stable environment for Rory.
RICHARD
Too little, too late, if you ask me.
LORELAI
Nobody's asking you!
RICHARD
Lower your voice, Lorelai.
LORELAI
The fact that Christopher and I are not together right now cannot possibly be construed as my fault, and yet you find a way to make it my fault, as always. If you want to place the blame on someone for Christopher and I not being together, take a good look at St. Christopher himself. He managed to get his girlfriend pregnant all by himself.
RICHARD
I'm not talking about now, Lorelai. I'm talking about the past.
LORELAI
Why can't you let it go? That was a long time ago. I'm doing fine and Rory's doing great and that's not good enough for you. You have always backed up Christopher and acted like he was the wronged one all these years. Why can't you ever once, just once, try to see my side of things?
RICHARD
Because your side of things is wrong.
EMILY
Richard!
LORELAI
Thanks, Dad. As always, it's been a real treat.
Lorelai picks up her bag.
LORELAI
(yells)
Rory! We're going.
EMILY
Lorelai, wait. Please don't go. We haven't had dessert yet.
Rory comes into the room.
LORELAI
We're leaving. I'm not going to listen to him insult me anymore. I know I've made mistakes, but he's not willing to even try to listen to what I have to say. Let's go, Rory.
EMILY
Lorelai, wait.
Lorelai walks out. Rory looks distressed, but follows Lorelai out.
INT. LUKE'S DINER
Luke is in the diner. Lorelai walks in.
LUKE
You are unbelievable. You eat here during the day, you're here before you go to your parents, you eat at your parents' house, and then you come back here to eat.
LORELAI
I don't need any food. Can I just have some coffee?
LUKE
Rough night?
LORELAI
Yep. It was another screaming match at the Gilmore house. We should start selling tickets.
(beat)
Did you get along with your parents?
LUKE
Yeah, sure. I mean, we had our fights like anyone else, but it was never anything permanently damaging. Just your typical teenage crap.
LORELAI
That must have been nice.
LUKE
Fighting with my parents?
LORELAI
Well, not the fighting, but the making up. To have parents that supported you and cared about you, no matter what. That must be a good feeling.
LUKE
I guess so. I never really thought about it.
LORELAI
My parents just can't get over the fact that I ruined their lives when I was 16 by getting pregnant and not getting married. Here it is, 18 years later, and we just can't get past it. I swear, my father cares more about Christopher than he does about me.
LUKE
Come on.
LORELAI
It's true. It's like Christopher walks on water and I... I don't know what. I don't understand it.
LUKE
Well, some people hold their family to a higher standard than people who aren't in the family.
LORELAI
I guess so.
LUKE
Cheer up. You've got your movie thing going on tomorrow.
LORELAI
Yeah, I guess.
LUKE
You really are in a bad mood if you're not even excited about that stupid thing.
LORELAI
I am excited. It's kind of bittersweet, though.
LUKE
Why's that?
LORELAI
Well, with Rory going to college next year, this is probably the last time that we're going to do be able to do this.
LUKE
Harvard isn't that far away. She can come home on weekends, right?
LORELAI
I guess, but she'll be busy studying. It's just not going to be the same.
LUKE
Well, maybe it shouldn't be.
LORELAI
What do you mean?
LUKE
I know you two have this unique relationship, but Rory is growing up. She's going to college. She's going to gain a little independence. You're not always going to be together.
LORELAI
I know. It's just hard for me to accept. I don't know what I'm going to do without her next year. It's always been Rory and me. No matter what was happening in my life, I always had Rory. We do everything together. I'm trying to be supportive and happy for her, but in the back of my mind, I keep thinking "Oh,.my God, she's leaving." I can't handle it.
LUKE
You can handle it.
LORELAI
I really don't think I can.
LUKE
Yes, you can. You two have been planning for this her whole life. You're just getting freaked out now that's it's actually happening.
LORELAI
I guess.
LUKE
Think about it - when Rory was gone over the summer, you handled it.
LORELAI
Yeah, but I called her all the time.
LUKE
I know I didn't go to college, but I'm sure they have phones there.
LORELAI
Also, I knew she was coming back.
LUKE
Lorelai, she's just going to college, not the Mir Space Station. She'll be home more than you think.
LORELAI
She will?
LUKE
Sure. There are holiday weekends, right?
LORELAI
Right. And there's a long winter break. And another break in the spring.
LUKE
There you go.
LORELAI
And the entire summer.
(beat)
Geez, I can't get rid of this kid.
LUKE
See? It's not going to be so bad. You'll adjust.
LORELAI
You realize that I'm probably going to be in here even more than usual next year, right?
LUKE
I'll set up a cot for you in the storage room.
LORELAI
That'd be great.
LUKE
You'll be fine. You'll just have to keep yourself busy.
LORELAI
I could join a book club.
LUKE
Or you could get moving on your plans to open your inn with Sookie.
LORELAI
Well, there have been some issues with that, but I get your point. Thanks. You always know how to calm me down when I'm freaking out.
LUKE
You're welcome.
LORELAI
You're not planning on leaving Stars Hollow anytime soon, are you? I would require at least 3 to 4 years notice so I could adjust and find another therapist.
LUKE
I'm not going anywhere.
LORELAI
Glad to hear it.
Lorelai drinks her coffee.
END OF ACT TWO
**********
ACT THREE
INT. LORELAI'S HOUSE - RORY'S BEDROOM - MORNING
Rory's alarm clock goes off. She reaches over without opening her eyes and slams it off. The song I Go Crazy by Flesh for Lulu starts playing outside Rory's room. Rory sits up on her bed, eyes still closed. Her head starts rocking to the music. She slowly opens her eyes and she gets out of bed. She shuffles over to the door, half asleep, head bobbing to the music. She opens her door and walks into the kitchen. Lorelai is in the kitchen, dancing to the music. When she sees Rory, she turns down the music.
LORELAI
Happy John Hughes Day!
RORY
(yawning)
Happy John Hughes Day.
LORELAI
Time to get a move on. We've got a lot to do before the first movie starts. We've got to pass out some flyers with the schedule and go to Doose's Market and wipe Taylor out of his junk food.
RORY
Okay.
LORELAI
Hey, a little more enthusiasm please!
RORY
I'm sorry, I just woke up a minute ago. I still need time to adjust to light, sound... air. Is there any coffee ready?
LORELAI
I just put some on. Why don't you take the first shower and the coffee will be ready when you're done.
RORY
Sure.
Rory starts to walk towards the bathroom. After two or three steps, she turns around.
RORY (cont'd)
Cue the shower music, please.
LORELAI
(beaming)
That's my girl!
Lorelai goes over to the CD player and starts to play Miss Amanda Jones by The March Violets.
LORELAI (cont'd)
Don't forget to spin around when you're in the shower.
RORY
I won't.
There's a knock at the door. Lorelai opens the door and finds KIRK standing outside. Kirk is feeling a little awkward talking to Lorelai ever since he asked her out on a date.
LORELAI
Hey, Kirk. Happy John Hughes Day.
KIRK
Same to you. I'm here to deliver your big screen t.v.
LORELAI
Oh, thanks, but it actually needs to go over to Miss Patty's.
KIRK
(looks at his clipboard)
Miss Patty's?
LORELAI
Yeah. The event has gotten too big for our house so Miss Patty said we could use her dance studio.
KIRK
Oh. Sorry about that. The order form must have been filled out wrong.
LORELAI
That's no problem.
Kirk starts to walk off. Lorelai tries to patch things up so things are not so awkward between Kirk and herself.
LORELAI (cont'd)
Hey, Kirk?
KIRK
Yeah?
LORELAI
Are we going to see you there?
KIRK
I'm not sure if I can make it.
LORELAI
Oh, okay.
KIRK
Because, you know, I've got work and everything.
LORELAI
I understand. I hope you can find a way to make it, though. It's going to be a good marathon. We're sticking strictly to the teenage angst theme this year.
KIRK
Ahh, the classics.
(beat)
What time does Weird Science start?
LORELAI
Sorry, we didn't pick that one this year.
KIRK
Ferris Bueller?
LORELAI
Nope.
KIRK
Damn. I love that part where the teacher is doing the roll call.
(imitates Ben Stein)
Bueller... Bueller.
(beat)
I don't know how that guy keeps a straight face.
LORELAI
Me, neither.
KIRK
Which ones did you pick?
LORELAI
Well, we've got the standards, of course -- Breakfast Club and Sixteen Candles. The wildcards are Pretty in Pink and Some Kind of Wonderful.
KIRK
So, it's a total chick flick marathon.
LORELAI
Yep. The first movie starts at 1:00.
KIRK
See you there.
Kirk leaves. Lorelai closes the door, smiles, and turns up the music.
LORELAI
I love this day!
INT. LUKE'S DINER
Jess and Luke are in the diner. Taylor, Kirk, and JACKSON walk in.
JACKSON
Hey, Luke.
LUKE
Hey.
JACKSON
This was a really great idea to get together and have a boy's night out.
LUKE
Yeah, well, you can thank Jess for this.
TAYLOR
I wasn't sure if you had any, but I brought some of those old-fashioned visors to wear.
LUKE
Uh, no, I don't have any of those.
Kirk holds up a CD player.
KIRK
And I brought some music for the occasion. I hope everyone likes Kenny Rogers.
JESS
(to Luke)
I am not wearing a visor.
LUKE
That's the price you pay for having a backbone.
JACKSON
I brought some finger foods that we can munch on.
LUKE
Thanks.
Luke places the appetizers on the counter where he has some soda and bowls of chips out.
TAYLOR
Does anyone mind if we get started right away? I don't want to be home too late.
KIRK
Fine with me.
They all sit down at the table and look at each other.
JACKSON
Did anyone bring cards?
TAYLOR
I didn't.
KIRK
Me, neither.
JESS
I've got some upstairs. I'll get them.
Jess leaves to go get the cards.
TAYLOR
Oh, wonderful. His cards are probably marked.
LUKE
Taylor, if you don't want to play with Jess, you can leave.
TAYLOR
I'll stay, but I'll be watching him like a hawk.
JACKSON
Leave him alone, Taylor. Besides, if anyone is going to cheat, it would be Kirk.
KIRK
Hey!
LUKE
Okay, everyone, just take it easy.
Jess comes down with a few decks of cards. He sits down at the table.
JESS
Sorry it took so long. I had to make sure I picked the decks that had all the aces marked.
Taylor rolls his eyes.
LUKE
Let's just start playing. We'll rotate who deals every hand. Jess, you go first.
TAYLOR
Of course.
Jess shuffles the cards and places them in front of Taylor. Taylor looks at Jess suspiciously.
JESS
(annoyed)
Are you going to cut the cards?
Taylor taps the top of the deck. Jess rolls his eyes and picks up the deck.
KIRK
Why didn't you cut the cards?
TAYLOR
He wanted me to cut them.
Jess starts dealing the cards.
JESS
The game is five card draw.
Jess deals a card in front of himself. He hesitates for a second before continuing the deal.
JESS (cont'd)
Aces are wild.
LUKE
(exasperated that Jess is egging Taylor on)
Jess!
JESS
Relax. I was just kidding.
Jess continues to deal the cards.
TIME CUT TO:
All the players are holding cards. The song "The Gambler" by Kenny Rogers is playing in the background.
LUKE
I can't take this song anymore. Can we put something else on or just turn it off?
KIRK
Excuse me for trying to add a little
ambiance.
Kirk walks over and turns off the music. He picks up a flyer from the counter and goes back to the table.
JACKSON
Taylor, it's your turn to bet.
TAYLOR
I will see your 25 cents and raise you...
(drops a piece of paper to the pot)
25 cents.
LUKE
What the hell is this?
(picks up the paper)
You can't bet using coupons!
TAYLOR
Why not?
KIRK
Because we're playing for money.
TAYLOR
A coupon is just as good as money, young man.
JESS
(picks up the coupon)
This is for hair color for women.
JACKSON
(takes a look at the coupon)
And it expires tomorrow.
LUKE
Taylor, no.
TAYLOR
Why not?
LUKE
It's entirely self-serving! You're making people go to your market to buy things.
TAYLOR
So, it's a win-win situation.
LUKE
We are playing for real money, and that's final!
TAYLOR
(whiny)
But I'm out of money.
JESS
We just started playing a few minutes ago!
JACKSON
You only brought 3 dollars with you?
TAYLOR
I thought it was a friendly game. I didn't realize we were playing for big stakes.
LUKE
No coupons. Those are the rules. If you don't like them, you can leave.
TAYLOR
Fine, I'm leaving.
Taylor walks out in a huff. Kirk looks at Jackson.
KIRK
You know, The Breakfast Club starts in a few minutes.
JACKSON
If we hurry, we can make it.
KIRK
Let's go.
Jackson and Kirk grab their jackets and start to walk out. Kirk reaches over and picks up the coupon from the table on his way out.
JACKSON
Bye, Luke. Bye, Jess. Thanks for the game. It was fun!
Luke and Jess look at each other.
JESS
Unbelievable.
LUKE
You can go, too, if you want. I'll clean up.
Jess starts dealing cards between himself and Luke.
JESS
Five card hold 'em. You in?
LUKE
I'm in.
Luke and Jess pick up their cards.
JESS
I don't take coupons.
Luke smiles and puts his ante in.
JESS
Hey, Luke?
LUKE
Yeah?
JESS
Thanks.
LUKE
For what?
JESS
This. Tonight. The poker.
LUKE
No problem. I know the Gilmores can get a little pushy at times.
JESS
At times?
LUKE
Yeah... all the time.
JESS
Well, thanks.
LUKE
You're welcome.
END OF ACT THREE
**********
ACT FOUR
INT. LUKE'S DINER
Lorelai walks in.
LUKE
Is the marathon over already?
LORELAI
Nope, we've got one more left. I just thought I'd take a break before the next movie started. I saw Jackson and Kirk over at Miss Patty's. What happened to the poker game?
LUKE
It finished early, thank God.
LORELAI
I didn't think you would actually go through with it. Did you have any fun at all?
LUKE
It was exactly what you would expect if you were playing cards with Jackson, Kirk, and Taylor, only worse.
LORELAI
Well, you're more than welcome to join us for the last screening.
LUKE
No, thanks.
LORELAI
Come on. It's Sixteen Candles. A classic.
LUKE
No.
LORELAI
It'll be fun.
LUKE
No.
LORELAI
You can make Jess go, too, as punishment for the poker game.
LUKE
That's not punishment enough.
LORELAI
I'm going to stand here and bug you by quoting lines from the movie until you change your mind and come with me.
LUKE
Knock yourself out.
LORELAI
(beat)
I'm not really a farmer. I'm a freshman.
(beat)
Dong, where is my automobile? Auto-mobile?
(beat)
Ooohhh.... sexy girlfriend.
(beat)
I can't believe that my grandmother actually felt me up.
LUKE
(yells)
Jess! Grab your coat and get down here!
INT. MISS PATTY'S
Rory, Lane, Luke, and Jess walk in and look for seats.
LUKE
I can't believe how many people are here for this.
Jess points to an empty seat in the back.
JESS
(to Luke)
I'm going to sit back there so I can make a quick exit.
LUKE
Smart thinking.
Lane walks in and walks over to Rory.
LANE
Hey!
RORY
Hey. Where's Dave?
LANE
I told him to meet me here.
Dave walks in and is looking around for Lane.
LANE (cont'd)
Oh, my God. He's here. He's here! He's so cute, I can't stand it.
RORY
He is cute.
Lane keeps looking at Dave.
RORY (cont'd)
Um... maybe you should go talk to him.
LANE
I don't want him to think I'm just standing here waiting for him. He'll think I'm a loser.
RORY
Or he'll just think you like him.
LORELAI
Plus, you don't want him to leave because he thought you blew him off, either.
LANE
Good point. See ya.
Lane rushes over to meet Dave.
LORELAI
I don't know if we're going to be able to sit with all us together.
(sees a few seats together)
Ooh... there's a few.
RORY
No way. I hate sitting that close.
LORELAI
But this way you'll really be able to see.... Besides, I need someone to talk to during the movie.
RORY
You can sit over there with Luke. I'll find another seat.
LUKE
Thanks a lot.
LORELAI
Fine. Be that way.
RORY
(to Luke)
Enjoy the movie.
Rory walks away. Luke and Lorelai sit next to each other. Rory looks around for a seat and sees and empty seat next to Jess. She walks over to Jess.
RORY
Is this seat taken?
JESS
Nope.
Rory sits down next to Jess. She sees Lane sitting next to Dave and waves. Lane waves back to her, smiling. Rory sees Paris and Jamie sitting down in the back row, opposite from Jess and Rory. Paris sees Rory and waves to her. The lights go down and Sixteen Candles starts.
LORELAI
(yells)
Geeks rule. Yeah!
Luke tries to hide his face in embarrassment.
JESS
I am so glad I'm not sitting next to her.
RORY
It can be a little much if you're not used to it.
TIME CUT TO:
The scene in Sixteen Candles when Samantha talks with her father comes on. Lorelai looks sad as she thinks about her relationship with her father. Luke notices that Lorelai is sad and holds her hand to comfort her. She smiles her thanks.
TIME CUT TO:
Sixteen Candles - end of the movie.
Dave reaches over and holds Lane's hand. She smiles at him.
CUT TO:
Jamie and Paris are holding hands. They look at each other and then Jamie leans over and he and Paris start kissing.
CUT TO:
Rory is watching the movie screen, but she moves her hand to the side of her thigh so that it brushes against Jess' hand. Jess looks at Rory for a moment and then looks back at the screen, unsure what to do. Rory looks at Jess and then back at the screen, also unsure what to do.
CUT TO:
Lorelai and Luke. They are no longer holding hands. Lorelai looks at Luke in a romantic fashion. Luke leans over to Lorelai, still looking at the screen, a confused look on his face.
LUKE
Why are they sitting on a table?
LORELAI
It's romantic.
LUKE
It's stupid.
Lorelai rolls her eyes.
LORELAI
I don't know how you stayed single all these years.
The lights go on. Lorelai stands up and sees Paris making out with Jamie. Her mouth drops open. Lorelai looks over at Sookie and points to Paris.
SOOKIE
Go, Paris! Woo-hoo!
Paris and Jamie break off the kissing, embarrassed.
LORELAI
Ah... movie magic.
SOOKIE
That's so cute.
LORELAI
Doesn't that movie bring you back to the time when we were teenagers?
JACKSON
I could practically feel my face breaking out.
SOOKIE
Me, too.
(beat)
Let's go home and make out.
JACKSON
(to Lorelai)
This is my new favorite holiday.
Sookie and Jackson leave. Luke and Lorelai walk over to Jess and Rory.
LUKE
So, we've got some leftover food from the poker if anyone is interested.
LORELAI
Twist my arm.
Paris and Jamie walk up.
LORELAI
Hey, Paris. Enjoy the movie?
PARIS
(embarrassed)
Yes.
(to Rory)
We've got to get going, but I just wanted to say thanks for inviting us.
RORY
No problem. I'm glad you could make it.
PARIS
I'll see you Monday.
RORY
See you Monday. Bye, Jamie.
Paris and Jamie walk off. Lane and Dave walk up.
RORY
Hey. We're going over to the diner for some coffee, if you want to join us.
LANE
Thanks, but I've got to get home before my mom sends out the posse looking for me.
RORY
Okay. See you later. Bye, Dave.
Dave and Lane walk away.
EXT. SIDEWALK
Lane and Dave are walking down the street hand in hand.
LANE
We shouldn't be doing this.
DAVE
Walking?
LANE
Holding hands. Outside. In public. My mother is going to find out and will kill me. Actually, she would kill you.
DAVE
I'll take my chances.
Lane and Dave continue to walk, silent for a moment.
DAVE (cont'd)
What would she do if I kissed you?
LANE
(laughs)
Don't even joke about that.
Dave stops walking.
DAVE
I wasn't.
Lane is speechless. Dave leans over and kisses Lane gently. Lane smiles and reaches up and puts her arms around Dave's neck and kisses him more passionately. Mrs. Kim comes out of the house in a rush.
MRS. KIM
(yelling loudly)
Lane Kim! What are you doing?
Lane breaks off the kiss with Dave and starts walking towards her house.
LANE
I have to go.
DAVE
I'll go with you. I want to-
LANE
No, you can't. It won't help.
MRS. KIM
Lane! Get in this house right now!
LANE
Really, I have to go.
Lane runs into the house.
MRS. KIM
(to Dave)
You go away and don't come back here. You are not to see Lane, you understand?
Mrs. Kim goes into the house.
INT. LUKE'S DINER
Jess, Rory, Luke and Lorelai are sitting in the diner.
JESS
Whoa. What was that?
RORY
That was a Mama Kim.
JESS
Poor Lane.
LUKE
I've heard her yell before, but that takes the cake.
RORY
I think the whole town has just heard about Lane's first kiss.
LORELAI
You know your love life is pathetic when Paris and Lane are getting more action than you.
Luke snorts in agreement.
LUKE
Tell me about it.
RORY
Ditto.
Jess looks at Rory.
RORY (cont'd)
Hey, Jess? Can I borrow that copy of Please Kill Me from you?
JESS
Yeah, sure. It's upstairs.
Jess walks upstairs. Rory starts to follow him.
LORELAI
Rory, we really should get going.
RORY
I know. I'll be back in a minute.
LORELAI
I'm counting.
INT. LUKE'S APARTMENT
Rory and Jess are inside Luke's apartment. Jess is looking through the books on his bookshelf.
RORY
I don't think I've been in here since they finished all the construction. It looks good.
JESS
It beats sleeping on a raft on the floor.
RORY
I'm sure it does.
Jess pulls out a book from the bookshelf and hands it to Rory.
JESS
Here you go.
RORY
Thanks. I'll give it back as soon as I'm done.
JESS
Take your time.
Awkward silence.
RORY
Well, I should probably get going.
JESS
Probably.
RORY
Okay, I'll see you later.
Rory backs up into a piece of furniture. She laughs nervously and walks towards the door. When Rory gets close to the door, Jess calls out to her.
JESS
Rory, wait a second.
Rory turns around to face Jess.
JESS (cont'd)
You're still broken up with Dean, right?
RORY
Yes.
JESS
No regrets? No desire to get back together?
RORY
No.
JESS
Okay. Just checking.
RORY
Okay. See ya.
Rory turns around and reaches for the doorknob.
JESS
(quickly)
Do you want to go out with me?
Rory turns around and nods. Jess walks over to Rory and kisses her. Rory drops the book she was holding. Her knees get weak. They stumble backwards a bit and Rory gets backed up against the door. Jess presses his body against Rory and they continue kissing passionately.
END OF EPISODE