TITLE: "OVER-PROTECTIVE PARENTS"
AUTHOR: Diane
FEEDBACK: ggfan@prodigy.net
DISCLAIMER: All characters belong to Amy Sherman-Palladino and the WB.
COMMENTS: Any feedback is appreciated.
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TEASER
FADE IN:
INT. LORELAI'S HOUSE - EVENING
RORY is sitting on the couch watching television. The doorbell rings. Rory answers the door and finds KIRK standing outside.
RORY
Hey, Kirk.
KIRK
Hey. I've got a special mail delivery for you.
RORY
For me?
Kirk hands Rory the envelope.
KIRK
Yep.
RORY
Great, thanks. Where do I sign?
KIRK
You don't have to sign anything, but I was told to wait until you open the letter.
Kirk puts his hands in his pockets because it's cold out. Rory starts opening the envelope.
KIRK
Kind of warm today, isn't it?
RORY
What? It's freezing!
Rory pulls the letter out of the envelope and opens it up. There isn't any writing on the paper.
RORY (cont'd)
Is this a joke?
KIRK
It's no joke, but it is unseasonably warm today, isn't it?
RORY
(perplexed)
What are you...
Kirk raises his eyebrows at Rory. Rory understands what Kirk is getting at and she nods in recognition.
RORY (cont'd)
You know, you're right. It is a little on the warm side today.
KIRK
Well, I'll be going now.
RORY
Thanks, Kirk!
Rory closes the door and walks back into the house.
INT. LORELAI'S HOUSE - KITCHEN - CONTINUOUS
Rory walks into the kitchen with the letter. She gets a pair of tongs out of a kitchen drawer and holds the letter with the tongs. She turns on one of the burners of the stove. She starts to slowly wave the paper over the burner. LORELAI walks into the kitchen and sees what Rory's doing.
LORELAI
You know, I don't think that's going to work without any kernels or that silver stuff on top.
RORY
I'm not making popcorn. I'm heating up a letter from Lane.
LORELAI
Ooh... invisible ink. There must be big trouble in the Kim household. I haven't seen a letter like this in years.
RORY
I think the last one I got was when I was about twelve.
LORELAI
Oh, right. That was the time Lane came over to rollerskate when she wasn't supposed to and she fell down and scraped up her face. She wasn't allowed to talk to you for a month.
RORY
I can't believe Mrs. Kim won't let Lane see me or talk to me. It's not my fault she kissed Dave.
LORELAI
Obviously, Mrs. Kim feels that Lane has been unduly influenced by my spawn. After all, Lane saw you kiss a boy and therefore now all she wants to do is procreate as much as possible so Stars Hollow will be overrun with mini-Lane's running around listening to music and sending mail with invisible ink.
The ink on the page appears. There is a number 3, followed by a 12, followed by a picture of a clock with the hour hand pointing to the 2, followed by a followed by a C, followed by a 7. Rory turns off the stove.
LORELAI
Very cryptic. What does it mean?
RORY
I told you when I was twelve and I'll tell you again now. The whole point of a coded message is that it's secret.
LORELAI
Oh, please. I cracked your code years ago. I was just testing you to see if you remembered it.
RORY
Yeah, right.
LORELAI
Fine, don't believe me. Time for dinner, Mata Hari. I'm starving.
RORY
I can't. I have things to do.
LORELAI
What things?
RORY
Things that don't involve you.
LORELAI
Come on, you've got time. You don't have to meet Lane until tomorrow.
RORY
How do you know that?
LORELAI
(points to the letter)
I may not have gone to Chilton, but I do know how to read. I have to admit it was clever making the clock the location, not the time, but everything else was elementary, my dear Watson.
RORY
There's no way you figured out our code. You just made a lucky guess.
Lorelai is exasperated so she starts pointing to the different parts of the letter and explains what they mean.
LORELAI
This is the means of communication - 1 for phone call, 2 for letter, 3 to meet in person. This is who you're going to communicate with. The 12th letter of the alphabet is L, for Lane. The clock is set at 2:00. The second letter of the alphabet is B, for bridge. C is the 3rd letter of the alphabet, so you're meeting at 3:00. This is the day of the week, which you guys started on Monday, so Sunday is 7. Now, follow the bouncing ball:
(Lorelai reads the note, following the words with her finger)
"Meet Lane on the bridge at 3:00 on Sunday." Can we eat now?
Rory is stunned.
RORY
Does the government know about you?
Lorelai raises her eyebrows conspiratorially.
LORELAI
I'd tell you, but then I'd have to kill you and I need the tax break I get from claiming you as a dependent.
Lorelai starts to exit the kitchen and then turns around.
LORELAI (cont'd)
Oh, Lane wants you to bring her some chocolate, preferably a Kit Kat bar.
Rory looks at the letter and rotates it around, a perplexed look on her face.
END OF TEASER
ACT ONE
FADE IN:
EXT. STARS HOLLOW - AFTERNOON
Rory and JESS are walking outside in the direction of the diner.
RORY
I think it's time to take our relationship to the next level.
JESS
Really?
RORY
Yep. I'm talking about movie night, a time honored tradition in the Gilmore household.
JESS
Oh.
RORY
So, what do you think?
JESS
I don't think that's such a good idea.
RORY
Come on, Jess. There's always so much tension between you and mom. It'll give you two a chance to get to know each other better.
JESS
Rory, your mom doesn't like me and I don't think that's going to change no matter how many movies we watch together.
RORY
I don't understand why you two can't even try to get along.
JESS
There are some people in the world that just don't get along.
RORY
Like the Eagles.
JESS
Or Eddie Van Halen and David Lee Roth.
RORY
Eddie Van Halen and Sammy Hagar.
JESS
Eminem and Christina Aguilera.
RORY
Luke and Taylor.
JESS
You get the point. Your mom and I are just two of those people.
RORY
It would make things so much easier if you could.
JESS
It's not the end of the world if your mom doesn't like me.
RORY
It's not just my mom. You might not have noticed, but people in this town are a little...
JESS
Bizarre? I've noticed.
RORY
I was going to say they're a little protective of me and they tend to follow her lead. Luke had Dean in a headlock out in the street when we broke up the first time.
JESS
That I would've liked to have seen.
RORY
Things are so tense with my mom lately. It would really make things easier for me at home with my mom if you would make a little effort to be nicer to her so she's not so worried that I'm with you.
JESS
I'll try, okay?
RORY
Thank you.
They reach the diner.
JESS
Well, this is my stop. You want something to eat?
RORY
No, I need to meet Lane soon.
JESS
Okay. We're still on for the movies tonight?
RORY
Yep. Let's meet up at the town meeting and we'll leave from there.
JESS
Sounds good.
Rory and Jess kiss. Lorelai walks up to them and coughs. Jess and Rory break away from each other.
RORY
Hey, Mom.
LORELAI
Hey. If you're finished here, do you want to get some coffee?
RORY
No, thanks. I've got to meet Lane in a few minutes.
LORELAI
Okay.
The three of them stand there.
RORY
Anything else?
LORELAI
No, I'm just enjoying the nice fall weather. The air is so fresh and crisp. Like a box of Pringles when you first open them.
Lorelai sucks her breath in and breathes out.
LORELAI (cont'd)
Refreshing, isn't it?
JESS
Yep.
LORELAI
You two should try it.
Lorelai sucks her breath in again.
RORY
Mom!
LORELAI
That's enough fresh air for me. I smell coffee.
Lorelai walks into the diner.
CUT TO:
INT. LUKE'S DINER - CONTINUOUS - AFTERNOON
Lorelai walks into the diner. LUKE is wiping off the counter.
LORELAI
Your nephew is a big fan of public displays of affection. Are you positive you two are related?
LUKE
There should be a law against making out in public. It's disgusting.
LORELAI
Jess used to maul Shane in here all the time and you never said anything.
LUKE
That was different.
LORELAI
How was that different?
LUKE
It wasn't with Rory.
LORELAI
So?
LUKE
So... are you telling me you like seeing her do that?
LORELAI
Awww. Luke doesn't like to see his little Rory all grown up.
LUKE
Stop.
LORELAI
You remember Rory when she was this tall.
Lorelai holds her hand up to the level of her nose.
LUKE
I said stop.
(beat)
And she was about this tall when I first met her.
Luke pushes Lorelai's hand down so it is level with her chin.
LORELAI
Practically still in diapers.
LUKE
I have to admit, you're handling this whole Rory dating Jess thing a lot better than I thought you would.
LORELAI
Well, Luke, I am a mature woman.
Luke snorts in disbelief Lorelai.
LUKE
Since when?
LORELAI
Rory is a responsible young woman who can make her own decisions about who to date or not to date.
LUKE
That sounds like a healthy attitude, and coming from anyone else, I might actually believe it. I thought you'd be climbing the walls over this.
LORELAI
Shows how well you know me.
Luke hands Lorelai a coffee.
LORELAI (cont'd)
Okay, maybe you know me a little.
Lorelai looks out the window again. Jess and Rory are still kissing.
LORELAI (cont'd)
Actually, I think it's great that Rory and Jess are dating. I can now order all the food I want and I don't have to worry about gaining weight because seeing the two of them together makes me sick.
LUKE
Mature woman, huh?
LORELAI
It comes and goes.
Jess walks into the diner.
JESS
Hey.
LUKE
Hey.
Beat.
JESS
It's cold out today.
LUKE
Thanks for sharing.
LORELAI
Luckily, you've got my daughter's lips to warm you up.
JESS
I'm a lucky guy.
(beat)
Be back in a minute.
Jess walks upstairs.
LORELAI
I can't believe this!
LUKE
What?
LORELAI
Sex! They're having sex. Can't you tell? It's so obvious.
LUKE
All he said was that it was cold outside.
LORELAI
Oh, no, he didn't. You have to learn to read the signs, Luke. When he walked in, he didn't just go straight upstairs. He actually stopped and said hello before going upstairs. Some might construe that as being somewhat friendly.
LUKE
So what?
LORELAI
When a snarly teenager starts being nice all of a sudden, there's something going on.
LUKE
He is not always snarly.
LORELAI
He is to me.
LUKE
Maybe he's just in a good mood.
LORELAI
That's what I'm worried about.
LUKE
You're totally jumping to conclusions.
LORELAI
Has he had a lot of girlfriends?
LUKE
The only one I know of is Shane, but he used to live in New York, so I have no idea if he went out with anyone there.
LORELAI
Oh.
(beat)
So you don't have any idea what his... experience is?
LUKE
No, I don't, and it's really none of my business.
LORELAI
Considering the fact that he's going out with my daughter, you need to make it your business.
LUKE
He's 18 years old. I'm sure he knows all about it.
LORELAI
That's not good enough, Luke. You have to talk to him. I don't want anything happening to Rory. She is going to college and I am not old enough to be a grandmother.
LUKE
So talk to Rory!
LORELAI
I will, but you need to talk to Jess, too. I know it makes you uncomfortable, but Jess is your responsibility and it's important that you talk to him. It is especially important that you emphasize how much pain I can inflict on him if he pressures or hurts Rory in any way.
LUKE
They only just started going out. You have to calm down.
LORELAI
You're not worried about what they're doing tonight?
LUKE
Not especially. They're just going to the movies.
LORELAI
You want to know what I was doing when I told my parents I was going to the movies?
LUKE
What?
LORELAI
You know Rory?
LUKE
(nods in understanding)
Ah.
Jess comes back into the diner holding his jacket.
JESS
Got my jacket.
LUKE
I see that.
(beat)
Nice job.
LORELAI
We're proud of you. Soon you'll be ready to make the switch from Velcro to lace up shoes.
Luke looks at Jess to see if he's going to make a smart remark back to Lorelai.
JESS
(ignores the comment)
I'm going out, but I'll be back for the town meeting. I'll see you guys later.
Jess walks out of the diner. Lorelai gives Luke a knowing look.
LUKE
I'll talk to him.
EXT. BRIDGE - AFTERNOON
Rory is standing on the bridge. LANE comes running up to her.
LANE
You made it! I was hoping you wouldn't just throw it out when you saw the page was blank.
RORY
Well, it threw me for a loop at first, but Kirk clued me in.
LANE
Kirk comes through again.
RORY
So, how are you? I've been dying to talk to you.
LANE
Me, too. This grounding is worse than usual. My mom removed all the phones so there is only one phone available in the house and she watches it like a hawk. So, get me caught up. Anything new going on?
RORY
(smiling broadly)
Well-
LANE
Oh, my God! I know that look! You're back with Dean, aren't you?
RORY
No.
LANE
Jess?
RORY
Yes! I've been dying to tell you but your mom won't let me talk to you.
LANE
When did this happen? How's it going? What did your mom say?
RORY
Well, after the-
Lane looks at her watch.
LANE
I'm sorry, I don't have time to hear the details right now. I only have twelve minutes to go get the groceries and run back home. You look happy, though.
RORY
I am.
(beat)
Oh, this is for you.
Rory pulls a Kit Kat out of her jacket and gives it to Lane.
LANE
Thanks! I've been dying for some chocolate.
RORY
How long are you grounded for?
LANE
I have no idea.
RORY
How'd you get out?
LANE
My mom scheduled a grocery run for me today. I was able to get a note to Dean at school and he agreed to gather all the food for me beforehand so I can just run in and pay and not get home later than the allotted time.
RORY
Very industrious.
LANE
Is it okay that I asked Dean for help?
RORY
Of course. You two are friends.
LANE
How are things between you two?
RORY
He's still mad, but I'm hoping that we can be friends eventually.
LANE
It's been killing me not being able to talk to Dave. I have no idea what he's thinking after the whole incident with my mom. Plus, I don't know how he felt about our kiss. Maybe I didn't apply enough pressure, or maybe too much pressure.
RORY
I'm sure it was just fine and I wouldn't worry about how Dave feels about you. It's obvious he's crazy about you.
LANE
You think?
RORY
Absolutely.
LANE
I hate this! I don't even know if he's tried calling me or seeing me. It's not like my mom would ever tell me if he called. I need you to help me figure out a way I can see him.
RORY
I don't know how. Since you're not allowed to see me or call me, either, your mom is definitely not going to buy the doing homework at my house thing anymore.
LANE
Maybe I can send him a letter like I sent you.
RORY
How would he read it?
LANE
Maybe you can dig up our decoding guide and make a copy for him.
RORY
Lane, this is crazy. If you want to see Dave, you're going to have to talk to your Mom.
LANE
Yeah, good one. Now, get serious.
RORY
I am serious. You know the cloak and dagger routine wouldn't last too long anyway. Henry got tired of that, and I'm sure Dave will, too. You need to talk to your Mom.
LANE
You're right.
Rory puts her hands on Lane's shoulders.
RORY
Lane, it's time. You need to stand up for yourself and tell your mom how you feel.
LANE
I know.
(beat)
If I don't make it out alive, just know you've always been like a sister to me.
Lane hugs Rory and runs off. Rory calls after Lane.
RORY
Let me know what happens!
LANE
I will!
INT. LORELAI'S HOUSE
Rory is sitting on the sofa, reading. Lorelai walks up to her holding two takeout menus.
LORELAI
You want pizza or Chinese tonight?
RORY
Oh, Jess and I were going to grab something to eat after the meeting tonight.
LORELAI
Oh.
RORY
I can invite him over for dinner, if you want.
LORELAI
No, that's okay.
RORY
You sound mad.
LORELAI
I'm not mad, I just thought that we were going to have dinner together, that's all.
RORY
I didn't think we had any set plans.
LORELAI
Well, we eat dinner together every night. Besides, it's Sunday. I'm not sure if you should be out too late.
RORY
I'm not going to be out late. Look, I'll call Jess and tell him to eat before the meeting and we'll just go for dessert afterward, okay?
LORELAI
Don't worry about it. Eat dinner with Jess. It's not a big deal.
RORY
Well, you're acting like it is.
LORELAI
Is this how it's going to be now? Every time Jess wants to do something, you're going to drop your plans with me?
RORY
We didn't have plans! Besides, you just said it wasn't a big deal.
LORELAI
It's not the dinner that matters, it's the thought that you're putting Jess before everything and everyone else.
RORY
I'm not putting him before everything else.
LORELAI
Why do you have to spend so much time with him alone?
RORY
He's my boyfriend!
LORELAI
Dean was your boyfriend and I used to see him all the time.
RORY
Maybe Jess doesn't feel welcome here so we have to go out all the time.
LORELAI
I never told him he couldn't come here.
RORY
You never told him not to, but you don't exactly invite him, either. The last two times I've asked you about inviting him over for movie night, you came up with some lame excuse why he shouldn't.
LORELAI
I'm sorry if spending as much time as possible with my daughter before she leaves for school is lame.
RORY
I didn't mean that. I just meant that Dean used to come over for movie nights all the time and it was never a problem. In fact, you encouraged it. You just don't like that Jess is my boyfriend now.
LORELAI
Do you have to keep saying that Jess is your boyfriend? I get it! Everyone in town gets it, the way you've been carrying on.
RORY
What's that supposed to mean?
LORELAI
Well, you've been doing a lot of kissing in public lately.
RORY
I have not.
(beat)
Well, I have, but no more than usual. You never said anything about it before.
LORELAI
Well, it never bothered me before.
RORY
And now it does?
LORELAI
Yes.
RORY
It only bothers you now because it's Jess.
LORELAI
I never thought of it that way, but I think you might be on to something.
RORY
I don't get this. When I came back from Washington, you said that if I broke up with Dean and went out with Jess, you would deal with it.
LORELAI
I said that because you were treating Dean like dirt, not because I actually wanted you to go out with Jess.
RORY
Well, I like him and I'm not going to stop seeing him because you don't like him.
LORELAI
I never asked you to.
RORY
I'm asking you to be nice... please. And if you can't be nice, at least be civil.
LORELAI
Fine, I'll be civil.
RORY
Thank you. If you just give him a chance, you'll like him. I know you will.
Rory goes into her room. Lorelai has a worried look on her face.
FADE OUT.
END OF ACT ONE
ACT TWO
FADE IN:
INT. KIM'S ANTIQUES
Lane is on her bed, studying. She hears the phone ring and runs downstairs to the kitchen to see if the call is for her. She stands at the end of the stairs to listen. MRS. KIM answers the phone.
MRS. KIM
Hello?
(beat)
Lane's not here. I told you not to call here anymore.
Mrs. Kim hangs up the phone. Lane walks up to her mother.
LANE
Mama, who was that?
MRS. KIM
No one.
LANE
Was it Dave?
MRS. KIM
I don't know any Dave.
LANE
Well, maybe I can introduce you and then you won't hang up the phone when he calls.
MRS. KIM
No. I have told you that you are not to see that boy anymore.
LANE
Well, I am going to! He is sweet and nice and he likes me.
MRS. KIM
Don't talk back!
LANE
I'm not talking back. I'm just explaining.
MRS. KIM
He's no good for you.
LANE
Yes, he is.
MRS. KIM
I don't like him and I don't want you talking to him.
LANE
You don't like anyone unless they're Korean. It's not fair! Haven't you noticed there aren't many Koreans in Stars Hollow? Who exactly am I supposed to talk to?
MRS. KIM
Don't raise your voice to me. I don't like your attitude.
LANE
I don't like yours! Thank God I have Rory because you scare off anyone else that tries to become friends with me. You treat me like a child. You tell me who I can talk to, what time to go to bed, when I can make phone calls. I'm tired of it. I want to be a normal teenager.
MRS. KIM
Normal teenagers are idiots. You have to trust me that I know what's best for you.
LANE
No, you have to trust me! I'm old enough to make my own decisions. I'll be going off to college in another year and you're not going to be able to watch over me.
MRS. KIM
While you live in my house, you will do as I say.
LANE
You can't tell me what to do all the time!
MRS. KIM
Look what happens when you see this boy. You yell and talk back. You kiss in public and disrespect your parents. Go to your room and don't come out until tomorrow!
LANE
No!
MRS. KIM
Go to your room - now.
LANE
No!
MRS. KIM
You go right now or you're grounded.
LANE
I'm already grounded!
MRS. KIM
No telephone, no television.
LANE
I don't have that now.
MRS. KIM
No radio, either.
LANE
That's not fair. I haven't done anything wrong. I can't take this anymore!
Lane storms off in the direction of the music store.
MRS. KIM
Lane! Come back here!
Mrs. Kim follows Lane.
MRS. KIM (cont'd)
Where are you going? Come here right now.
Lane walks into the music store. She sits down at the drums and begins playing. Mrs. Kim storms in.
MRS. KIM
You stop that right now and come home.
LANE
No.
MRS. KIM
Where did you learn this?
LANE
I took lessons.
MRS. KIM
When?
LANE
During your bible studies.
MRS. KIM
Stop this nonsense right now!
Lane stops playing.
LANE
(crying)
It is not nonsense!
MRS. KIM
Yes, it is!
LANE
No, it's not. I love music and I love playing the drums. I'm in a band and I'm going to keep playing and you can't stop me. Listen to me, Mama. For once, would you just listen to me?
Lane is sobbing as she starts playing again. Mrs. Kim watches Lane for a moment and then walks slowly out of the store, dejected. Lane continues to play while she cries.
INT. LUKE'S APARTMENT
Jess is in the apartment, getting ready to go out. Luke walks in.
LUKE
Hey.
JESS
Hey.
LUKE
Are you and Rory going out tonight?
JESS
Yep.
LUKE
You're spending a lot of time together.
JESS
Well, we're going out. That's what happens.
LUKE
Things seem to be going well with you two... with you and Rory.
JESS
Yep.
LUKE
That's good. She's a great kid.
JESS
You look a little pale. Are you okay?
LUKE
I'm fine. I need to talk to you for a minute, though.
JESS
That meeting is starting soon. I know you hate being late.
LUKE
It won't take long.
(beat)
I feel weird talking to you about this...
JESS
Talking to me about what?
LUKE
Well, you and Rory seem to be getting pretty close lately... um, very close.
JESS
Oh, please. If this is a talk about the birds and the bees, spare me. We got a sex ed lecture in the 8th grade.
LUKE
Jess, cut me some slack here. This is not easy to talk about, but I'm trying.
JESS
Are you kidding me? I haven't seen you go out on one date the entire time I've lived with you. I seriously doubt that you could tell me anything that I don't already know. Maybe I should be the one giving you the lec-
LUKE
That's it.
(grabs Jess' collar and throws him on the chair)
Sit down and shut up.
(beat)
Let me tell me you a few things that you might not know. First of all, don't ever talk to me like that. Second of all, I have watched Rory grow up in my diner and I feel very protective of her. She is a great kid and I don't want anything bad happening to her.
JESS
Nothing is-
LUKE
I said shut up.
(beat)
You will treat her with respect at all times. You will not pressure her to do anything that she doesn't want to do or is not ready for.
JESS
I won't-
LUKE
I'm not saying you should or that I condone it, but if you decide to have sex, you will use protection.
JESS
I know-
LUKE
I'm telling you anyway just to make it crystal clear because if you don't and something happens... I swear to God, Jess, I will kick your ass.
JESS
Okay, I get-
LUKE
Then after I'm done kicking your ass, I will lock you in a room alone with Lorelai for a few hours and ignore your cries for help. Do you understand what I'm saying?
JESS
Yes.
LUKE
You're sure?
JESS
Yes. You can relax, papa bear. I would never do anything to hurt Rory.
LUKE
You better not.
JESS
I won't.
LUKE
As long as we're clear on that.
JESS
We are.
LUKE
Okay, then.
(beat)
You can get up now.
Jess stands up and grabs his coat.
LUKE
I'm glad we had this little talk, aren't you?
JESS
Oh, yeah. We should make it a regular thing.
Luke and Jess walk out of the apartment.
INT. MISS PATTY'S DANCE STUDIO - EVENING - TOWN MEETING
Luke and Jess are sitting together. Lorelai and Rory walk in late and sit in the back. TAYLOR is standing behind the podium.
TAYLOR
...All in favor, please raise your hands.
Lorelai and Rory raise their hands.
RORY
What are we voting for?
LORELAI
I don't know, but Luke and Jess aren't voting for it, so it's probably something good.
The majority of the audience have their arms raised. Taylor starts to count the arms that are raised.
LUKE
(to Jess)
I can't believe we are actually voting on how the stupid storefront decorations should be displayed.
JESS
It is asinine.
TAYLOR
So, it's official. The decorative leaves should be hung in a straight line or twisted around a pole or a branch of some sort, but they definitely should not be hung in a looping w fashion. Now, unless anyone else has any other issues they would like to address, this meeting is-
Luke raises his hand.
TAYLOR (cont'd)
Yes, Luke?
LUKE
I was just wondering when we were going to officially change the name of Stars Hollow to Girl Town?
TAYLOR
Excuse me?
LUKE
This is getting ridiculous. The entire meeting tonight was about flowers, festivals, pageants, and decorations.
TAYLOR
Well, what would you suggest we talk about? I'm all ears.
LUKE
Anything but this. If people want to decorate, fine, but we don't have to have a town meeting about which direction the leaves should face. It's crazy!
TAYLOR
It is not crazy. You can't have people just throw up their decorations up any which way they please.
LUKE
Why not? Do you think Father Winter will pass over Stars Hollow if somebody has their fake leaves hanging in a loop instead of a twist?
TAYLOR
You know, I'm getting a little tired of being the butt of all your jokes.
LUKE
Then don't make it so easy.
TAYLOR
At least I care about this town and what happens to it. You may think all these rules are silly, but do you know what would happen if there weren't any rules? Stars Hollow would turn into a mini Hartford and we all know what Hartford is like. Is that what you want?
LUKE
Oh, horrors upon horrors that people would be able to put up their stupid decorations any way they want to.
TAYLOR
You know what, I'm tired of this. I'm tired of looking like the bad guy all the time. I'm tired of fighting you tooth and nail all the time to keep this town looking presentable and an enjoyable, festive place to live. I quit!
LUKE
Quit what?
TAYLOR
Everything! I can't take the ridicule anymore. Effective immediately, I resign from ALL committees of which I'm a member.
Taylor storms out. Everyone sits in stunned silence. Kirk raises his hand. MISS PATTY walks up to the podium.
MISS PATTY
Yes, Kirk?
KIRK
Since the position is now open, I'd like to submit my name as head of the Star Hollow Aesthetics Committee.
MISS PATTY
It doesn't pay anything.
KIRK
Oh. Forget it, then.
MISS PATTY
Well, until we got this thing with Taylor straightened out, who would like to take over the planning for the Winter Festival?
Silence.
MISS PATTY (cont'd)
Come on, people, the festival starts in a few weeks, so we must start planning now. It's an important job that takes a lot of time and hard work to organize the activities, decorations, food, music, and so forth, so don't volunteer unless you're prepared to give the festival preparation your full attention. So, who's up to the challenge?
Silence in the room.
MISS PATTY (cont'd)
Anyone?
More silence.
MISS PATTY (cont'd)
Okay, maybe that's a little too much responsibility for one person. How about we spread out the tasks so you're only in charge of one thing. Who would like to be in charge of the activities?
Silence.
MISS PATTY (cont'd)
Music?
More silence.
MISS PATTY (cont'd)
I see. Well, in that case, we have no choice but to cancel the Winter Festival.
Everyone groans in disappointment.
MISS PATTY (cont'd)
I think we can all thank Luke for this unfortunate turn of events.
People start booing. Luke stands up to defend himself.
LUKE
Hey! You should all be thanking me. He was out of control.
More booing, a little more loudly.
LUKE (cont'd)
I didn't tell him to quit!
Someone throws popcorn at Luke.
LUKE (cont'd)
Who threw that?
(looks around the room)
Kirk, was that you? You're dead.
LORELAI
(yells)
Hey, Lucas!
Luke turns around to look at Lorelai.
LUKE
What?
LORELAI
You suck!
The loud booing continues and more people start throwing popcorn at Luke. Lorelai nudges Rory and they sneak out.
FADE OUT.
END OF ACT TWO
ACT THREE
FADE IN:
INT. INDEPENDENCE INN - KITCHEN
Lorelai, SOOKIE, and MICHEL are in the kitchen. Rory walks in wearing her school uniform.
SOOKIE
Hi, sweetie.
LORELAI
Hey, babe. Where have you been?
Rory looks down at her school uniform.
RORY
Uh... school.
LORELAI
You just usually get here a little earlier. Was the bus late?
RORY
No. I stopped by the diner.
LORELAI
Oh.
RORY
Well, I'm going to get going.
LORELAI
Going where?
RORY
Home.
LORELAI
I thought you were going to work this afternoon so you could start saving for the fabulous Donatella Versace dress you promised me for Christmas.
RORY
Well, I have a lot of homework to do. I guess you'll just have to keep making your own dresses, Cinderella.
LORELAI
So, you're going to be at home?
RORY
Yes.
LORELAI
Not planning on going out at all?
RORY
What's with the third degree?
LORELAI
No third degree.
RORY
Then why is my skin blistering?
LORELAI
I have a right to know what you're doing or where you're going.
RORY
Oh, right. Let me fill you in. I'm going to walk home. Do you need to know what route I'm taking?
LORELAI
That won't be necessary.
RORY
When I get home, I might make myself a snack. Then I'm going to start working on my homework. I'm not sure if I'm going to have the snack first or start the homework first.
LORELAI
That's enough.
RORY
I might have to go to the bathroom at some point, but I'll call to make sure it's okay with you first, okay?
LORELAI
Cut the sarcasm, and I don't like your tone, either. I'm your mother. I have every right to know where you're going and who you're with and what you're doing.
RORY
Whatever, Grandma.
LORELAI
What's that supposed to mean?
RORY
It's supposed to mean that you sound just like Grandma. Where is this coming from? You've never questioned me like this before.
LORELAI
Well, maybe I should have. I'm just making up for lost nagging time.
RORY
This is such bull. You never gave me a hard time when I was dating Dean. You've just got it out for Jess.
LORELAI
No, I don't.
RORY
Yes, you do. We haven't done anything wrong and you're acting like we did. Whatever happened to "I trust your judgment, Rory." You just meant you trust my judgment as long as I do exactly what you want me to do and that's crap.
Rory storms out.
MICHEL
And we have a winner in the most controlling parent category. Thank you so much for playing.
LORELAI
What? I just asked her what her plans were. There's nothing wrong with that.
MICHEL
If you say so, Emily.
LORELAI
Stop saying that!
Michel exits the kitchen.
SOOKIE
(shaking her head)
Lorelai, what was that?
LORELAI
You see how she's acting now that she's with Jess? I knew this kid was going to be trouble.
SOOKIE
I meant, what was with you? Rory's right, you know.
LORELAI
I do not sound like my mother!
SOOKIE
You do sound like your mother and you need to stop because it's freaking me out, but I was actually referring to the Dean thing.
LORELAI
What about the Dean thing?
SOOKIE
Rory and Dean were alone all the time and you didn't have a problem with it. You didn't have her detail her every waking moment.
LORELAI
I know, but it's different with Jess.
SOOKIE
Honey, you have to trust Rory.
LORELAI
She's been so secretive lately, though. I know she goes to see him sometimes but doesn't tell me. I'm like the enemy now, and I hate it. She used to tell me everything.
SOOKIE
Uh, no, she didn't.
LORELAI
What? Rory doesn't keep secrets from me.
SOOKIE
She didn't tell you when she got that bad grade in school when she went to Chilton. Max told you.
LORELAI
Well, okay, one thing.
SOOKIE
She didn't tell you about Dean at first. In fact, didn't you hear about her first kiss from Mrs. Kim?
LORELAI
Yes, and that still bothers me.
SOOKIE
And what about that time-
LORELAI
Thank you, Sookie! I get the point.
SOOKIE
Honey, I know you and Rory are close, but she's not going to tell you everything all the time. Besides, you haven't exactly kept your feelings about Jess a secret. Do you blame her for not telling you everything?
LORELAI
Yes, I do!
(beat)
No, I don't.
SOOKIE
You need to trust her.
LORELAI
I do trust her. I just get the feeling that things are a lot more (pause) physical with Jess. I keep thinking back to how I was with Christopher and I don't want her doing anything that she'll regret later on.
SOOKIE
Face it, they're 18 years old. If they're going to (motions with her hand), you can't stop it from happening. If you freak out on her, she won't confide in you at all. Is that what you want?
LORELAI
No.
SOOKIE
Rory has a good head on her shoulders. You know you're just going to drive her to him even more if you keep acting like a maniac.
LORELAI
You're right. I need to go talk to Rory.
SOOKIE
Good luck.
INT. LORELAI'S HOUSE
Rory is doing her homework in her room. Lorelai walks in.
LORELAI
Hey.
RORY
What are you doing home?
LORELAI
I wanted to talk to you.
RORY
I guess I'm in trouble because I called Jess when I got home and didn't let you know?
LORELAI
You're not in trouble.
RORY
I did talk to him for a good 5 minutes. Maybe we should stop by the pharmacy and buy a home pregnancy test to see if I'm knocked up.
LORELAI
Pregnancy tests don't work that fast. We'll try it again in a few days.
RORY
That's funny.
LORELAI
Listen, I know I came on a little strong with the overprotective mother thing earlier.
RORY
A little?
LORELAI
Okay, a lot. I'm sorry.
RORY
Why did you act like that?
LORELAI
I think it's genetic. All mothers are hot-wired to act that way at times.
RORY
I won't ever act that way with my kids.
LORELAI
Yes, you will.
RORY
No, I won't.
LORELAI
Then you'll be the first mother in the history of the world who doesn't. You'll be more famous than Dr. Spock.
RORY
I'll send you a copy of my tell-all book that trashes you to pieces.
LORELAI
Can I have a say in who plays me in the made-for-tv movie?
(beat)
You were right when you said it bothers me that you're going out with Jess.
RORY
No kidding. It doesn't take a genius to figure that one out.
LORELAI
It's just that, I see you with him and you two seem really into each other and...
RORY
And what?
LORELAI
And it scares me because I have no control over what you do when you're together.
RORY
We haven't done anything.
LORELAI
Yet.
RORY
Yet.
LORELAI
(accusing)
But you will.
RORY
I don't know. I don't exactly have a timetable for this stuff.
LORELAI
(accusing)
So you want to.
RORY
What is your problem?
LORELAI
I get the feeling that Jess has a lot more experience than you with sex and you might feel pressured to do something you're not ready for.
RORY
He's not pressuring me to do anything.
LORELAI
Good.
RORY
But you're still worried.
LORELAI
Yes. Guys like Jess...
RORY
Guys like Jess what?
LORELAI
Rory, drop the attitude. I have a right to be concerned about your relationship with Jess.
RORY
Why, because we might have sex?
LORELAI
Yes!
RORY
What makes you think that I didn't have sex with Dean?
LORELAI
(stunned)
What?
RORY
I dated Dean for two years. Wouldn't it make sense that a couple who dated for two years might have had sex?
LORELAI
I just-
RORY
Why do you assume that Jess wants to have sex with me and Dean didn't?
LORELAI
I can't believe this. You had sex with Dean?
RORY
It's none of your business!
LORELAI
Yes, it is!
RORY
No, it's not.
LORELAI
Why didn't you tell me?
RORY
Remember when Dean and I fell asleep that time at Miss Patty's? You totally freaked out and we hadn't even done anything.
LORELAI
I can't believe you didn't tell me.
RORY
There's nothing to tell.
(beat)
I didn't have sex with Dean. I was just making a point.
LORELAI
Lorelai Leigh Gilmore, don't you ever do that to me again.
(beat)
I have to sit down.
RORY
Mom, listen to yourself. You ask me to be honest with you but then you freak out if it's something you don't want to hear. You can't have it both ways.
LORELAI
You're right. I will try to be more calm about this.
(beat)
You just have to promise me that you'll be safe when you do have sex.
RORY
We are not-
LORELAI
I know you're not. I'm talking about when you do, whenever that is. Promise me you'll be careful.
RORY
Okay.
LORELAI
Okay, what?
RORY
I promise I'll be careful.
LORELAI
And that you won't be talked into doing something you don't want to do out of a sense of obligation or fear of rejection or anything else.
RORY
I promise.
LORELAI
Okay. That's all I ask.
RORY
And all I ask is that you make an effort to get along with Jess.
LORELAI
That's asking a lot.
RORY
Mom!
LORELAI
Okay, okay. I'll try.
RORY
Thank you.
LORELAI
So, we skipped breakfast at the diner. Do you think Luke has cooled off or do you think he'll be mad at us?
RORY
What do you mean, us?
LORELAI
Okay, me. I guess there's only one way to find out. Care to join me?
RORY
Sure.
INT. KIM'S ANTIQUES - EVENING
Lane walks into the house.
LANE
Mama?
No answer. Lane walks into the store and continues to look around the store for her mother.
LANE (cont'd)
Mama?
Lane walks into the kitchen. Mrs. Kim is making dinner.
MRS. KIM
Dinner's almost ready.
LANE
Mama, we have to talk.
MRS. KIM
No, we don't.
LANE
You've been ignoring me for days.
MRS. KIM
What do you care? You don't respect me anymore. You do whatever you want behind my back and laugh at me.
LANE
That's not true. I do respect you, but you can't run my life for me. You can't tell me who to see or not see. I know you worry about me, but I'm not a child anymore.
MRS. KIM
You are not an adult, either.
LANE
I'm a teenager. You can't keep grounding me for things I've done when I haven't even done anything wrong.
Mrs. Kim is silent.
LANE (cont'd)
I have to do things on my own, and sometimes you might not approve, but I need to figure things out for myself.
MRS. KIM
I just want what's best for you. I don't want to see you make mistakes and get hurt.
LANE
I don't either, but I'm going to. I love music, mama. I'm going to play the drums. I also like Dave and I'm going to keep seeing him. I hope you can accept that.
MRS. KIM
Why can't you find a nice Korean boy? What is wrong with Korean boys?
LANE
Nothing is wrong with Korean boys, but that doesn't mean I can't date someone else. Dave is great. He's nice and we have a lot in common.
MRS. KIM
What? Does he have his music hidden in the floor of his room, too?
LANE
You know about that?
MRS. KIM
Of course.
LANE
I love you, Mama.
Lane hugs Mrs. Kim for a long time. Mrs. Kim is tense at first, but then she hugs Lane back.
INT. LUKE'S DINER
There is a mob of people outside Luke's. Rory and Lorelai walk into the diner. They are the only customers in the diner.
LUKE
(pointing outside)
Out!
LORELAI
(pleading)
Come on, Luke. Don't be that way.
LUKE
You have a lot of nerve coming in here.
LORELAI
What do you mean?
LUKE
You caused a near riot and practically got me killed!
LORELAI
I thought you would've forgotten all about that already.
LUKE
It was last night!
LORELAI
Wow. Time flies.
LUKE
You told me I sucked and threw things at me.
LORELAI
I didn't throw anything at you, but I did yell that you sucked and that was wrong and I'm sorry about that.
RORY
She seems to be wrong quite a bit the last few days.
LORELAI
(to Rory)
Shut it, missy.
(to Luke)
I was just upset that the festival was canceled. Winter is my favorite time of year and the festival is one of my most favorite events of the year.
LUKE
Then why didn't you just volunteer to take over the planning if it means so much to you?
LORELAI
Do you know what a pain in the butt that would be?
LUKE
Everyone is so up in arms about this stupid festival. All day long, people have been standing outside with picket signs. Apparently, not too many people in this town have jobs. A little kid called me The Grinch Who Stole WinterFest.
LORELAI
You know, you kind of are like the Grinch... without the cool soundtrack, though.
LUKE
Didn't I tell you to get out?
LORELAI
It might not just be the picketers outside that stop people from coming in here.
RORY
Come on, Luke. Talk to Taylor and get him back on the festival planning committee.
LUKE
No way.
LORELAI
It would get the picketers outside to leave.
LUKE
No, it's the principle of the thing.
LORELAI
Besides, the festival is a lot of fun. I know you would never admit it, but deep down, I know you like it.
LUKE
Dream on.
LORELAI
It doesn't bother you that Doose's market doesn't have any decorations up?
LUKE
No.
RORY
I think it's depressing.
LORELAI
Really depressing.
LUKE
Of course you would think it's depressing. You dress up pens and pencils.
LORELAI
Don't you think you should apologize to Taylor?
LUKE
For what?
LORELAI
You were a little hard on him last night. He just acts the way he does because he cares about Stars Hollow.
LUKE
He goes way too far.
LORELAI
And you reel him in, and we appreciate that.
LUKE
So, people agree with me? Then what's with the mob outside?
LORELAI
Taylor does go a little overboard on the rules and regulations, but you have to admit the town wouldn't be the same without him. Let's face it, he does keep the town looking clean and pretty with all those littering and cleanliness rules.
RORY
And there wouldn't be any festivals or pageants without him because no one else is willing to take the time to do it.
LUKE
I guess, but he drives me crazy.
RORY
If it's any consolation, I think you drive him crazy, too.
LUKE
Well, I guess that's something.
(beat)
I'll talk to Taylor, okay?
LORELAI
Great! All that talk of Molotov cocktails when we came in made me thirsty. How about some coffee?
Luke pours some coffee.
FADE OUT.
END OF ACT THREE
ACT FOUR
FADE IN:
INT. STARS HOLLOW HIGH - DAY
Jess is sitting by the window, looking bored. Lane is in the aisle next to him, one row up. There's a tapping noise as small pebbles hit the window. Jess waits until the teacher isn't looking and leans over to look out the window. DAVE is standing outside. He holds up a piece of paper with the word Lane on it. Jess nods to Dave to let him know that he'll get Lane.
JESS
(whispers)
Lane!
Lane doesn't hear him.
JESS (cont'd)
(a little louder)
Lane!
Lane still doesn't hear him. Jess throws a book so it lands next to Lane. It makes a loud noise and Lane is startled and jumps out of her chair.
TEACHER
Whose book is that?
JESS
It's mine. Sorry, it slipped.
Lane snatches up the book and walks over and drops the book on Jess' desk.
LANE
(angry)
You almost gave me a heart attack.
JESS
Sorry. It won't happen again.
Jess nods outside. Lane looks out and sees Dave. He waves her down.
LANE
(to teacher)
Can I be excused? I need a few minutes to get myself together.
TEACHER
Certainly.
LANE
(whispers to Jess)
Thanks.
Jess nods. Lane walks out of the classroom.
EXT. STARS HOLLOW HIGH
Lane walks out of the high school and runs over to Dave. She grabs Dave's arm and brings him around to the side of the school.
DAVE
How are you? I've been worried about you. Your mom won't let me see you or talk to you.
LANE
I know, I'm sorry. My mom is a little...
DAVE
Scary?
LANE
Well, I was going to say old-fashioned, but scary works, too.
DAVE
I'm really sorry about what happened.
LANE
(disappointed because she thinks Dave is referring to the kiss)
You are?
DAVE
Yes. I mean, no. I'm happy about what happened with us, but I'm sorry you got in trouble. I know you said your mom was strict, but I had no idea.
LANE
It's okay. It was worth it.
DAVE
(smiles)
I've missed you.
LANE
(smiles)
I've missed you, too.
Dave and Lane kiss.
DAVE
I have to go. I left my last class early and skipped lunch to get here, but I need to get back so I can make it to my next class. I just wanted to make sure you were okay.
LANE
I'm fine. Even better now, though.
DAVE
When can I see you again?
LANE
I'll call you when I'm not grounded anymore. I don't think it'll be too much longer.
DAVE
Okay. Sounds good.
LANE
And guess what? I think I'll be able to be in the band. I mean, for real. My mom and I had it out and I told her all about you and the drumming and the band. She wasn't wild about it, but she didn't forbid it, so that's major progress.
DAVE
That's awesome. Look, I'm really sorry, but I have to go.
LANE
Okay. Thanks for coming to see me. I'm really glad you did.
DAVE
Me, too.
Lane and Dave kiss and Lane runs back into school.
INT. DOOSE'S MARKET
Luke walks in to talk to Taylor.
LUKE
Hey, Taylor.
TAYLOR
Hello, Luke.
LUKE
How's it going?
TAYLOR
Fine.
LUKE
Where are all your decorations?
TAYLOR
In the back. I'm not in a very festive mood this year, so I'm not going to put up any decorations. You should be happy.
LUKE
Your decorations are fine. I know a lot of people like them.
TAYLOR
Including you?
LUKE
I really don't care one way or the other.
TAYLOR
Oh.
LUKE
Look your decorations are fine, Taylor. It's just that when you try to force the entire town to do things your way, it bothers me.
TAYLOR
I didn't force the town to do anything. We took a vote.
LUKE
But it was you that brought the issue up for a vote in the first place. No one else cared.
TAYLOR
That's your opinion.
(beat)
What are you doing here, Luke?
LUKE
I came to... I just wanted to tell you that I might have gone a little overboard with the criticism at that meeting.
TAYLOR
Well, I appreciate you saying that.
LUKE
So, are you going to go back to all those committees you were on so things can get back to normal?
TAYLOR
No, I am not.
LUKE
Why not?
TAYLOR
Because you haven't apologized.
LUKE
I just did!
TAYLOR
I didn't hear an apology.
LUKE
Fine. I apologize, okay?
TAYLOR
Sorry, not good enough.
LUKE
What?
TAYLOR
That apology wasn't good enough. It wasn't heartfelt and you didn't say what you were apologizing for.
LUKE
(annoyed)
Taylor...
(beat)
I apologize for belittling your efforts to keep Stars Hollow a nice place to live.
TAYLOR
And?
LUKE
And I will try not to criticize as much in the future.
TAYLOR
And?
LUKE
And if you don't accept my apology right now, I'm going to shove that-
TAYLOR
Apology accepted.
LUKE
So, can I tell the psychopaths outside my diner that the festival is back on?
TAYLOR
Yes.
LUKE
Good. I'll see you later.
Luke starts to walk out of the market.
LUKE (cont'd)
You know, you never said that trying to project your vision of Taylorville onto Stars Hollow goes a little too far sometimes.
TAYLOR
Well, no, I guess I didn't.
Taylor reaches under the counter and pulls out a box.
TAYLOR (cont'd)
Care to help me put up some decorations?
LUKE
No.
Luke walks out of the store.
INT. LORELAI'S HOUSE
Lorelai answers the door. Jess is on the porch. He holds up a letter.
LORELAI
News from the underground?
JESS
It's a note from Lane. She gave it to me at school to give to Rory, but I haven't seen Rory today so I thought I'd drop by and give it to her. It seemed kind of important.
LORELAI
Rory's at the video store.
JESS
Oh. Well, can you give this to her?
Jess hands Lorelai the letter.
LORELAI
Thank you, Rolf. I'll make sure she gets it.
Jess starts to walk off.
LORELAI (cont'd)
Liesl should be back from the store any minute. We're going to watch a movie. Do you want to join us?
JESS
(beat)
Do I have to sing Edelweiss?
LORELAI
(smiles)
Not this time.
JESS
Okay.
Lorelai opens the door. Jess walks in. They are awkward around each other.
LORELAI
Do you want a soda?
JESS
Sure.
Lorelai walks into the kitchen to get the drink. Jess looks uncomfortable. She comes back out with the soda and hands it to Jess.
LORELAI
You are allowed to sit down.
JESS
Okay. Thanks.
Jess starts to sit down.
LORELAI
Not there!
Jess jumps up, nervous.
JESS
Sorry. I didn't know.
LORELAI
(laughing)
That's okay. I was just kidding. I was trying to lighten things up a little.
JESS
Oh. Well, good job with that.
LORELAI
Seriously, have a seat.
Jess and Lorelai sit down. Awkward silence.
LORELAI (cont'd)
Rory should be back any minute.
JESS
That's good. So, what movie are we watching?
LORELAI
I'm not sure. It was Rory's choice tonight. Her taste is questionable sometimes.
Jess looks over at Lorelai.
JESS
Look, I know you don't like me, but I'm making an effort to be nice for Rory's sake.
LORELAI
I know that Rory likes you and-
JESS
And I know you don't. You've made that pretty clear.
LORELAI
Rory is the most important thing in my life. The thought of anything happening to her is - I can't even think about it.
JESS
Nothing is going to happen. You don't have to worry.
LORELAI
You're one car accident too late for that.
JESS
Look, no one feels worse about that than me.
LORELAI
Uh, yeah, I think I do.
JESS
Why can't you let it go?
LORELAI
Let it go? She could've been killed!
JESS
I know that and I feel terrible about it, but you know it was an accident. I can't change what happened in the past, but I would never do anything to hurt Rory.
(beat)
Look, this is not going to work. It's obvious that you've already made up your mind about me and nothing I say is going to change that.
LORELAI
Can you blame me? You haven't exactly proven yourself to be trustworthy. I'm not just talking about the accident. You're manipulative. You did everything you could to come between Rory and Dean. You drink, smoke, steal, and fight. You treat everyone like crap, including Luke.
JESS
Oh, you're one to talk about that.
LORELAI
What?
JESS
You don't like the fact that I don't kiss your ass like the rest of this town does.
LORELAI
What are you talking about?
JESS
You come into Luke's all the time after he's closed and demand food and coffee. You're always making him do things that he doesn't want to do and he's always over here fixing things for you.
LORELAI
We're friends.
JESS
You invite people over to your house for dinner or parties all the time and Sookie does all the cooking.
LORELAI
She's a chef! She likes to cook.
JESS
You talk incessantly and interrupt constantly during those stupid town meetings and nobody ever tells you to shut up. Everyone around here caters to your every whim and I won't do it and you can't stand that.
LORELAI
And you wonder why I don't like you?
(beat)
Look, I know I can't stop Rory from seeing you, but you had better not do anything to hurt her, ever. Now get out of my house.
JESS
Fine.
Jess walks out just as Rory is walking in.
RORY
Jess, what are you doing here?
JESS
Delivering a letter.
RORY
Why don't you stay for the movie?
JESS
No, thanks. I was just leaving.
Jess storms out.
RORY
What happened?
LORELAI
Nothing. So, what movie did you get?
RORY
Tell me what happened. What did you say to him?
LORELAI
Hey! You have no idea what happened. Why do you assume it's my fault?
RORY
Because I know how you are when you don't like someone and you've already told me that you hate him.
LORELAI
Well, he's not all that fond of me, either. I don't know what you see in him.
RORY
Of course you don't. You won't give him a chance.
LORELAI
I was nice to him when he fist got here and he treated me and everyone else like crap. He's used up his chances.
RORY
He's changed since then. If you would ever actually talk to him, you would see that. I'm so sick of defending him to you! What exactly is your problem with him?
LORELAI
He scares me.
RORY
He scares you?
LORELAI
Yes. He reminds me of me when I was a teenager. He's smart but doesn't like school that much. He doesn't have a good relationship with his parents. He has problems with authority figures, most likely stemming from a poor relationship with his parents. He's rude, disrespectful, and doesn't use the best judgment. That's me back then!
RORY
You turned out okay.
LORELAI
I dropped out of high school to have a baby! Don't get me wrong, I'm so grateful that I have you in my life, but I don't want you to follow in my footsteps. I don't want you to repeat my mistakes.
RORY
I won't.
LORELAI
I know you think that, but things happen when you're young and the hormones are running wild you're not thinking clearly.
RORY
I'm already past the point of repeating your mistakes. You had me when you were sixteen and I haven't even had sex yet! Even if I got pregnant right this second, I'd still graduate from high school on schedule.
LORELAI
That doesn't mean you can run around with whomever you want and do whatever you want. Unless, of course, you plan to make it onto the Harvard Girls Gone Wild video.
RORY
When are you going to learn that I'm not you? I don't sneak out of the house like you did, I don't drink like you did, I don't smoke like you did, and I'm not having sex like you did.
LORELAI
I'm glad about that. I am. You have so much going for you. You can do anything you want to do with your life. I just want to make sure that nothing, especially a boy, interferes with your plans for the future.
RORY
I'm going to college. I promise.
(beat)
You can't keep disliking Jess because of what you and dad did when you were younger. It's not fair.
LORELAI
You're right. I mean, I do think I have a few legitimate reasons not to like him, but a lot of it is just fear on my part because of the stuff I did.
RORY
I understand what you're afraid of, but you have to trust me. I'm not going to let anything happen.
LORELAI
Okay.
RORY
That's it? Okay?
LORELAI
I'm not going to say that I'm not concerned, but I want you to be able to talk to me and be honest with me, no matter what. I don't want us to have the relationship I had with my parents. I don't want you running off in the middle of the night to be with Jess. We have to be able to talk about this stuff.
RORY
Well, it's not that easy to talk about when you flip out.
LORELAI
I know. I'm sorry. I'll try not to.
RORY
Mom, Jess is a good guy.
LORELAI
I know you think so.
RORY
I don't just think so. He is.
LORELAI
I will try to keep a more open mind, okay? That's the best I can do right now.
RORY
That's a start.
LORELAI
Besides, once your grandparents get wind of this relationship, they'll take over with the yelling, worry, and disappointed looks so I'll be off the parental hook, so to speak.
RORY
You wouldn't.
LORELAI
Wouldn't I?
RORY
No, you wouldn't.
LORELAI
(beat)
I wouldn't what?
RORY
You wouldn't tell Grandma and Grandpa about my dating Jess.
LORELAI
Oh, right. Wouldn't I?
RORY
Mom!
LORELAI
Well, if he's so wonderful, why hide him from your grandparents?
RORY
Mom, come on. We just started going out. Even you have to admit that it would be cruel and unusual to subject Jess to them at this point.
LORELAI
Or subject them to Jess.
RORY
Okay, when exactly is the Jess tolerance going to begin?
LORELAI
(sheepish)
Now.
(beat)
They are going to find out about it sooner or later, you know.
RORY
I know. I'm just hoping that it will be later.
LORELAI
I don't blame you.
(beat)
Well, you should probably go talk to your boyfriend.
RORY
Yeah, I should. I won't be gone long and when I get back, we'll watch the movie together, okay?
LORELAI
Okay.
Rory runs out. Lorelai looks a little sad because Rory is growing up and she's still nervous about her going out with Jess.
FADE OUT.
END OF EPISODE
AUTHOR: Diane
FEEDBACK: ggfan@prodigy.net
DISCLAIMER: All characters belong to Amy Sherman-Palladino and the WB.
COMMENTS: Any feedback is appreciated.
*************************
TEASER
FADE IN:
INT. LORELAI'S HOUSE - EVENING
RORY is sitting on the couch watching television. The doorbell rings. Rory answers the door and finds KIRK standing outside.
RORY
Hey, Kirk.
KIRK
Hey. I've got a special mail delivery for you.
RORY
For me?
Kirk hands Rory the envelope.
KIRK
Yep.
RORY
Great, thanks. Where do I sign?
KIRK
You don't have to sign anything, but I was told to wait until you open the letter.
Kirk puts his hands in his pockets because it's cold out. Rory starts opening the envelope.
KIRK
Kind of warm today, isn't it?
RORY
What? It's freezing!
Rory pulls the letter out of the envelope and opens it up. There isn't any writing on the paper.
RORY (cont'd)
Is this a joke?
KIRK
It's no joke, but it is unseasonably warm today, isn't it?
RORY
(perplexed)
What are you...
Kirk raises his eyebrows at Rory. Rory understands what Kirk is getting at and she nods in recognition.
RORY (cont'd)
You know, you're right. It is a little on the warm side today.
KIRK
Well, I'll be going now.
RORY
Thanks, Kirk!
Rory closes the door and walks back into the house.
INT. LORELAI'S HOUSE - KITCHEN - CONTINUOUS
Rory walks into the kitchen with the letter. She gets a pair of tongs out of a kitchen drawer and holds the letter with the tongs. She turns on one of the burners of the stove. She starts to slowly wave the paper over the burner. LORELAI walks into the kitchen and sees what Rory's doing.
LORELAI
You know, I don't think that's going to work without any kernels or that silver stuff on top.
RORY
I'm not making popcorn. I'm heating up a letter from Lane.
LORELAI
Ooh... invisible ink. There must be big trouble in the Kim household. I haven't seen a letter like this in years.
RORY
I think the last one I got was when I was about twelve.
LORELAI
Oh, right. That was the time Lane came over to rollerskate when she wasn't supposed to and she fell down and scraped up her face. She wasn't allowed to talk to you for a month.
RORY
I can't believe Mrs. Kim won't let Lane see me or talk to me. It's not my fault she kissed Dave.
LORELAI
Obviously, Mrs. Kim feels that Lane has been unduly influenced by my spawn. After all, Lane saw you kiss a boy and therefore now all she wants to do is procreate as much as possible so Stars Hollow will be overrun with mini-Lane's running around listening to music and sending mail with invisible ink.
The ink on the page appears. There is a number 3, followed by a 12, followed by a picture of a clock with the hour hand pointing to the 2, followed by a followed by a C, followed by a 7. Rory turns off the stove.
LORELAI
Very cryptic. What does it mean?
RORY
I told you when I was twelve and I'll tell you again now. The whole point of a coded message is that it's secret.
LORELAI
Oh, please. I cracked your code years ago. I was just testing you to see if you remembered it.
RORY
Yeah, right.
LORELAI
Fine, don't believe me. Time for dinner, Mata Hari. I'm starving.
RORY
I can't. I have things to do.
LORELAI
What things?
RORY
Things that don't involve you.
LORELAI
Come on, you've got time. You don't have to meet Lane until tomorrow.
RORY
How do you know that?
LORELAI
(points to the letter)
I may not have gone to Chilton, but I do know how to read. I have to admit it was clever making the clock the location, not the time, but everything else was elementary, my dear Watson.
RORY
There's no way you figured out our code. You just made a lucky guess.
Lorelai is exasperated so she starts pointing to the different parts of the letter and explains what they mean.
LORELAI
This is the means of communication - 1 for phone call, 2 for letter, 3 to meet in person. This is who you're going to communicate with. The 12th letter of the alphabet is L, for Lane. The clock is set at 2:00. The second letter of the alphabet is B, for bridge. C is the 3rd letter of the alphabet, so you're meeting at 3:00. This is the day of the week, which you guys started on Monday, so Sunday is 7. Now, follow the bouncing ball:
(Lorelai reads the note, following the words with her finger)
"Meet Lane on the bridge at 3:00 on Sunday." Can we eat now?
Rory is stunned.
RORY
Does the government know about you?
Lorelai raises her eyebrows conspiratorially.
LORELAI
I'd tell you, but then I'd have to kill you and I need the tax break I get from claiming you as a dependent.
Lorelai starts to exit the kitchen and then turns around.
LORELAI (cont'd)
Oh, Lane wants you to bring her some chocolate, preferably a Kit Kat bar.
Rory looks at the letter and rotates it around, a perplexed look on her face.
END OF TEASER
ACT ONE
FADE IN:
EXT. STARS HOLLOW - AFTERNOON
Rory and JESS are walking outside in the direction of the diner.
RORY
I think it's time to take our relationship to the next level.
JESS
Really?
RORY
Yep. I'm talking about movie night, a time honored tradition in the Gilmore household.
JESS
Oh.
RORY
So, what do you think?
JESS
I don't think that's such a good idea.
RORY
Come on, Jess. There's always so much tension between you and mom. It'll give you two a chance to get to know each other better.
JESS
Rory, your mom doesn't like me and I don't think that's going to change no matter how many movies we watch together.
RORY
I don't understand why you two can't even try to get along.
JESS
There are some people in the world that just don't get along.
RORY
Like the Eagles.
JESS
Or Eddie Van Halen and David Lee Roth.
RORY
Eddie Van Halen and Sammy Hagar.
JESS
Eminem and Christina Aguilera.
RORY
Luke and Taylor.
JESS
You get the point. Your mom and I are just two of those people.
RORY
It would make things so much easier if you could.
JESS
It's not the end of the world if your mom doesn't like me.
RORY
It's not just my mom. You might not have noticed, but people in this town are a little...
JESS
Bizarre? I've noticed.
RORY
I was going to say they're a little protective of me and they tend to follow her lead. Luke had Dean in a headlock out in the street when we broke up the first time.
JESS
That I would've liked to have seen.
RORY
Things are so tense with my mom lately. It would really make things easier for me at home with my mom if you would make a little effort to be nicer to her so she's not so worried that I'm with you.
JESS
I'll try, okay?
RORY
Thank you.
They reach the diner.
JESS
Well, this is my stop. You want something to eat?
RORY
No, I need to meet Lane soon.
JESS
Okay. We're still on for the movies tonight?
RORY
Yep. Let's meet up at the town meeting and we'll leave from there.
JESS
Sounds good.
Rory and Jess kiss. Lorelai walks up to them and coughs. Jess and Rory break away from each other.
RORY
Hey, Mom.
LORELAI
Hey. If you're finished here, do you want to get some coffee?
RORY
No, thanks. I've got to meet Lane in a few minutes.
LORELAI
Okay.
The three of them stand there.
RORY
Anything else?
LORELAI
No, I'm just enjoying the nice fall weather. The air is so fresh and crisp. Like a box of Pringles when you first open them.
Lorelai sucks her breath in and breathes out.
LORELAI (cont'd)
Refreshing, isn't it?
JESS
Yep.
LORELAI
You two should try it.
Lorelai sucks her breath in again.
RORY
Mom!
LORELAI
That's enough fresh air for me. I smell coffee.
Lorelai walks into the diner.
CUT TO:
INT. LUKE'S DINER - CONTINUOUS - AFTERNOON
Lorelai walks into the diner. LUKE is wiping off the counter.
LORELAI
Your nephew is a big fan of public displays of affection. Are you positive you two are related?
LUKE
There should be a law against making out in public. It's disgusting.
LORELAI
Jess used to maul Shane in here all the time and you never said anything.
LUKE
That was different.
LORELAI
How was that different?
LUKE
It wasn't with Rory.
LORELAI
So?
LUKE
So... are you telling me you like seeing her do that?
LORELAI
Awww. Luke doesn't like to see his little Rory all grown up.
LUKE
Stop.
LORELAI
You remember Rory when she was this tall.
Lorelai holds her hand up to the level of her nose.
LUKE
I said stop.
(beat)
And she was about this tall when I first met her.
Luke pushes Lorelai's hand down so it is level with her chin.
LORELAI
Practically still in diapers.
LUKE
I have to admit, you're handling this whole Rory dating Jess thing a lot better than I thought you would.
LORELAI
Well, Luke, I am a mature woman.
Luke snorts in disbelief Lorelai.
LUKE
Since when?
LORELAI
Rory is a responsible young woman who can make her own decisions about who to date or not to date.
LUKE
That sounds like a healthy attitude, and coming from anyone else, I might actually believe it. I thought you'd be climbing the walls over this.
LORELAI
Shows how well you know me.
Luke hands Lorelai a coffee.
LORELAI (cont'd)
Okay, maybe you know me a little.
Lorelai looks out the window again. Jess and Rory are still kissing.
LORELAI (cont'd)
Actually, I think it's great that Rory and Jess are dating. I can now order all the food I want and I don't have to worry about gaining weight because seeing the two of them together makes me sick.
LUKE
Mature woman, huh?
LORELAI
It comes and goes.
Jess walks into the diner.
JESS
Hey.
LUKE
Hey.
Beat.
JESS
It's cold out today.
LUKE
Thanks for sharing.
LORELAI
Luckily, you've got my daughter's lips to warm you up.
JESS
I'm a lucky guy.
(beat)
Be back in a minute.
Jess walks upstairs.
LORELAI
I can't believe this!
LUKE
What?
LORELAI
Sex! They're having sex. Can't you tell? It's so obvious.
LUKE
All he said was that it was cold outside.
LORELAI
Oh, no, he didn't. You have to learn to read the signs, Luke. When he walked in, he didn't just go straight upstairs. He actually stopped and said hello before going upstairs. Some might construe that as being somewhat friendly.
LUKE
So what?
LORELAI
When a snarly teenager starts being nice all of a sudden, there's something going on.
LUKE
He is not always snarly.
LORELAI
He is to me.
LUKE
Maybe he's just in a good mood.
LORELAI
That's what I'm worried about.
LUKE
You're totally jumping to conclusions.
LORELAI
Has he had a lot of girlfriends?
LUKE
The only one I know of is Shane, but he used to live in New York, so I have no idea if he went out with anyone there.
LORELAI
Oh.
(beat)
So you don't have any idea what his... experience is?
LUKE
No, I don't, and it's really none of my business.
LORELAI
Considering the fact that he's going out with my daughter, you need to make it your business.
LUKE
He's 18 years old. I'm sure he knows all about it.
LORELAI
That's not good enough, Luke. You have to talk to him. I don't want anything happening to Rory. She is going to college and I am not old enough to be a grandmother.
LUKE
So talk to Rory!
LORELAI
I will, but you need to talk to Jess, too. I know it makes you uncomfortable, but Jess is your responsibility and it's important that you talk to him. It is especially important that you emphasize how much pain I can inflict on him if he pressures or hurts Rory in any way.
LUKE
They only just started going out. You have to calm down.
LORELAI
You're not worried about what they're doing tonight?
LUKE
Not especially. They're just going to the movies.
LORELAI
You want to know what I was doing when I told my parents I was going to the movies?
LUKE
What?
LORELAI
You know Rory?
LUKE
(nods in understanding)
Ah.
Jess comes back into the diner holding his jacket.
JESS
Got my jacket.
LUKE
I see that.
(beat)
Nice job.
LORELAI
We're proud of you. Soon you'll be ready to make the switch from Velcro to lace up shoes.
Luke looks at Jess to see if he's going to make a smart remark back to Lorelai.
JESS
(ignores the comment)
I'm going out, but I'll be back for the town meeting. I'll see you guys later.
Jess walks out of the diner. Lorelai gives Luke a knowing look.
LUKE
I'll talk to him.
EXT. BRIDGE - AFTERNOON
Rory is standing on the bridge. LANE comes running up to her.
LANE
You made it! I was hoping you wouldn't just throw it out when you saw the page was blank.
RORY
Well, it threw me for a loop at first, but Kirk clued me in.
LANE
Kirk comes through again.
RORY
So, how are you? I've been dying to talk to you.
LANE
Me, too. This grounding is worse than usual. My mom removed all the phones so there is only one phone available in the house and she watches it like a hawk. So, get me caught up. Anything new going on?
RORY
(smiling broadly)
Well-
LANE
Oh, my God! I know that look! You're back with Dean, aren't you?
RORY
No.
LANE
Jess?
RORY
Yes! I've been dying to tell you but your mom won't let me talk to you.
LANE
When did this happen? How's it going? What did your mom say?
RORY
Well, after the-
Lane looks at her watch.
LANE
I'm sorry, I don't have time to hear the details right now. I only have twelve minutes to go get the groceries and run back home. You look happy, though.
RORY
I am.
(beat)
Oh, this is for you.
Rory pulls a Kit Kat out of her jacket and gives it to Lane.
LANE
Thanks! I've been dying for some chocolate.
RORY
How long are you grounded for?
LANE
I have no idea.
RORY
How'd you get out?
LANE
My mom scheduled a grocery run for me today. I was able to get a note to Dean at school and he agreed to gather all the food for me beforehand so I can just run in and pay and not get home later than the allotted time.
RORY
Very industrious.
LANE
Is it okay that I asked Dean for help?
RORY
Of course. You two are friends.
LANE
How are things between you two?
RORY
He's still mad, but I'm hoping that we can be friends eventually.
LANE
It's been killing me not being able to talk to Dave. I have no idea what he's thinking after the whole incident with my mom. Plus, I don't know how he felt about our kiss. Maybe I didn't apply enough pressure, or maybe too much pressure.
RORY
I'm sure it was just fine and I wouldn't worry about how Dave feels about you. It's obvious he's crazy about you.
LANE
You think?
RORY
Absolutely.
LANE
I hate this! I don't even know if he's tried calling me or seeing me. It's not like my mom would ever tell me if he called. I need you to help me figure out a way I can see him.
RORY
I don't know how. Since you're not allowed to see me or call me, either, your mom is definitely not going to buy the doing homework at my house thing anymore.
LANE
Maybe I can send him a letter like I sent you.
RORY
How would he read it?
LANE
Maybe you can dig up our decoding guide and make a copy for him.
RORY
Lane, this is crazy. If you want to see Dave, you're going to have to talk to your Mom.
LANE
Yeah, good one. Now, get serious.
RORY
I am serious. You know the cloak and dagger routine wouldn't last too long anyway. Henry got tired of that, and I'm sure Dave will, too. You need to talk to your Mom.
LANE
You're right.
Rory puts her hands on Lane's shoulders.
RORY
Lane, it's time. You need to stand up for yourself and tell your mom how you feel.
LANE
I know.
(beat)
If I don't make it out alive, just know you've always been like a sister to me.
Lane hugs Rory and runs off. Rory calls after Lane.
RORY
Let me know what happens!
LANE
I will!
INT. LORELAI'S HOUSE
Rory is sitting on the sofa, reading. Lorelai walks up to her holding two takeout menus.
LORELAI
You want pizza or Chinese tonight?
RORY
Oh, Jess and I were going to grab something to eat after the meeting tonight.
LORELAI
Oh.
RORY
I can invite him over for dinner, if you want.
LORELAI
No, that's okay.
RORY
You sound mad.
LORELAI
I'm not mad, I just thought that we were going to have dinner together, that's all.
RORY
I didn't think we had any set plans.
LORELAI
Well, we eat dinner together every night. Besides, it's Sunday. I'm not sure if you should be out too late.
RORY
I'm not going to be out late. Look, I'll call Jess and tell him to eat before the meeting and we'll just go for dessert afterward, okay?
LORELAI
Don't worry about it. Eat dinner with Jess. It's not a big deal.
RORY
Well, you're acting like it is.
LORELAI
Is this how it's going to be now? Every time Jess wants to do something, you're going to drop your plans with me?
RORY
We didn't have plans! Besides, you just said it wasn't a big deal.
LORELAI
It's not the dinner that matters, it's the thought that you're putting Jess before everything and everyone else.
RORY
I'm not putting him before everything else.
LORELAI
Why do you have to spend so much time with him alone?
RORY
He's my boyfriend!
LORELAI
Dean was your boyfriend and I used to see him all the time.
RORY
Maybe Jess doesn't feel welcome here so we have to go out all the time.
LORELAI
I never told him he couldn't come here.
RORY
You never told him not to, but you don't exactly invite him, either. The last two times I've asked you about inviting him over for movie night, you came up with some lame excuse why he shouldn't.
LORELAI
I'm sorry if spending as much time as possible with my daughter before she leaves for school is lame.
RORY
I didn't mean that. I just meant that Dean used to come over for movie nights all the time and it was never a problem. In fact, you encouraged it. You just don't like that Jess is my boyfriend now.
LORELAI
Do you have to keep saying that Jess is your boyfriend? I get it! Everyone in town gets it, the way you've been carrying on.
RORY
What's that supposed to mean?
LORELAI
Well, you've been doing a lot of kissing in public lately.
RORY
I have not.
(beat)
Well, I have, but no more than usual. You never said anything about it before.
LORELAI
Well, it never bothered me before.
RORY
And now it does?
LORELAI
Yes.
RORY
It only bothers you now because it's Jess.
LORELAI
I never thought of it that way, but I think you might be on to something.
RORY
I don't get this. When I came back from Washington, you said that if I broke up with Dean and went out with Jess, you would deal with it.
LORELAI
I said that because you were treating Dean like dirt, not because I actually wanted you to go out with Jess.
RORY
Well, I like him and I'm not going to stop seeing him because you don't like him.
LORELAI
I never asked you to.
RORY
I'm asking you to be nice... please. And if you can't be nice, at least be civil.
LORELAI
Fine, I'll be civil.
RORY
Thank you. If you just give him a chance, you'll like him. I know you will.
Rory goes into her room. Lorelai has a worried look on her face.
FADE OUT.
END OF ACT ONE
ACT TWO
FADE IN:
INT. KIM'S ANTIQUES
Lane is on her bed, studying. She hears the phone ring and runs downstairs to the kitchen to see if the call is for her. She stands at the end of the stairs to listen. MRS. KIM answers the phone.
MRS. KIM
Hello?
(beat)
Lane's not here. I told you not to call here anymore.
Mrs. Kim hangs up the phone. Lane walks up to her mother.
LANE
Mama, who was that?
MRS. KIM
No one.
LANE
Was it Dave?
MRS. KIM
I don't know any Dave.
LANE
Well, maybe I can introduce you and then you won't hang up the phone when he calls.
MRS. KIM
No. I have told you that you are not to see that boy anymore.
LANE
Well, I am going to! He is sweet and nice and he likes me.
MRS. KIM
Don't talk back!
LANE
I'm not talking back. I'm just explaining.
MRS. KIM
He's no good for you.
LANE
Yes, he is.
MRS. KIM
I don't like him and I don't want you talking to him.
LANE
You don't like anyone unless they're Korean. It's not fair! Haven't you noticed there aren't many Koreans in Stars Hollow? Who exactly am I supposed to talk to?
MRS. KIM
Don't raise your voice to me. I don't like your attitude.
LANE
I don't like yours! Thank God I have Rory because you scare off anyone else that tries to become friends with me. You treat me like a child. You tell me who I can talk to, what time to go to bed, when I can make phone calls. I'm tired of it. I want to be a normal teenager.
MRS. KIM
Normal teenagers are idiots. You have to trust me that I know what's best for you.
LANE
No, you have to trust me! I'm old enough to make my own decisions. I'll be going off to college in another year and you're not going to be able to watch over me.
MRS. KIM
While you live in my house, you will do as I say.
LANE
You can't tell me what to do all the time!
MRS. KIM
Look what happens when you see this boy. You yell and talk back. You kiss in public and disrespect your parents. Go to your room and don't come out until tomorrow!
LANE
No!
MRS. KIM
Go to your room - now.
LANE
No!
MRS. KIM
You go right now or you're grounded.
LANE
I'm already grounded!
MRS. KIM
No telephone, no television.
LANE
I don't have that now.
MRS. KIM
No radio, either.
LANE
That's not fair. I haven't done anything wrong. I can't take this anymore!
Lane storms off in the direction of the music store.
MRS. KIM
Lane! Come back here!
Mrs. Kim follows Lane.
MRS. KIM (cont'd)
Where are you going? Come here right now.
Lane walks into the music store. She sits down at the drums and begins playing. Mrs. Kim storms in.
MRS. KIM
You stop that right now and come home.
LANE
No.
MRS. KIM
Where did you learn this?
LANE
I took lessons.
MRS. KIM
When?
LANE
During your bible studies.
MRS. KIM
Stop this nonsense right now!
Lane stops playing.
LANE
(crying)
It is not nonsense!
MRS. KIM
Yes, it is!
LANE
No, it's not. I love music and I love playing the drums. I'm in a band and I'm going to keep playing and you can't stop me. Listen to me, Mama. For once, would you just listen to me?
Lane is sobbing as she starts playing again. Mrs. Kim watches Lane for a moment and then walks slowly out of the store, dejected. Lane continues to play while she cries.
INT. LUKE'S APARTMENT
Jess is in the apartment, getting ready to go out. Luke walks in.
LUKE
Hey.
JESS
Hey.
LUKE
Are you and Rory going out tonight?
JESS
Yep.
LUKE
You're spending a lot of time together.
JESS
Well, we're going out. That's what happens.
LUKE
Things seem to be going well with you two... with you and Rory.
JESS
Yep.
LUKE
That's good. She's a great kid.
JESS
You look a little pale. Are you okay?
LUKE
I'm fine. I need to talk to you for a minute, though.
JESS
That meeting is starting soon. I know you hate being late.
LUKE
It won't take long.
(beat)
I feel weird talking to you about this...
JESS
Talking to me about what?
LUKE
Well, you and Rory seem to be getting pretty close lately... um, very close.
JESS
Oh, please. If this is a talk about the birds and the bees, spare me. We got a sex ed lecture in the 8th grade.
LUKE
Jess, cut me some slack here. This is not easy to talk about, but I'm trying.
JESS
Are you kidding me? I haven't seen you go out on one date the entire time I've lived with you. I seriously doubt that you could tell me anything that I don't already know. Maybe I should be the one giving you the lec-
LUKE
That's it.
(grabs Jess' collar and throws him on the chair)
Sit down and shut up.
(beat)
Let me tell me you a few things that you might not know. First of all, don't ever talk to me like that. Second of all, I have watched Rory grow up in my diner and I feel very protective of her. She is a great kid and I don't want anything bad happening to her.
JESS
Nothing is-
LUKE
I said shut up.
(beat)
You will treat her with respect at all times. You will not pressure her to do anything that she doesn't want to do or is not ready for.
JESS
I won't-
LUKE
I'm not saying you should or that I condone it, but if you decide to have sex, you will use protection.
JESS
I know-
LUKE
I'm telling you anyway just to make it crystal clear because if you don't and something happens... I swear to God, Jess, I will kick your ass.
JESS
Okay, I get-
LUKE
Then after I'm done kicking your ass, I will lock you in a room alone with Lorelai for a few hours and ignore your cries for help. Do you understand what I'm saying?
JESS
Yes.
LUKE
You're sure?
JESS
Yes. You can relax, papa bear. I would never do anything to hurt Rory.
LUKE
You better not.
JESS
I won't.
LUKE
As long as we're clear on that.
JESS
We are.
LUKE
Okay, then.
(beat)
You can get up now.
Jess stands up and grabs his coat.
LUKE
I'm glad we had this little talk, aren't you?
JESS
Oh, yeah. We should make it a regular thing.
Luke and Jess walk out of the apartment.
INT. MISS PATTY'S DANCE STUDIO - EVENING - TOWN MEETING
Luke and Jess are sitting together. Lorelai and Rory walk in late and sit in the back. TAYLOR is standing behind the podium.
TAYLOR
...All in favor, please raise your hands.
Lorelai and Rory raise their hands.
RORY
What are we voting for?
LORELAI
I don't know, but Luke and Jess aren't voting for it, so it's probably something good.
The majority of the audience have their arms raised. Taylor starts to count the arms that are raised.
LUKE
(to Jess)
I can't believe we are actually voting on how the stupid storefront decorations should be displayed.
JESS
It is asinine.
TAYLOR
So, it's official. The decorative leaves should be hung in a straight line or twisted around a pole or a branch of some sort, but they definitely should not be hung in a looping w fashion. Now, unless anyone else has any other issues they would like to address, this meeting is-
Luke raises his hand.
TAYLOR (cont'd)
Yes, Luke?
LUKE
I was just wondering when we were going to officially change the name of Stars Hollow to Girl Town?
TAYLOR
Excuse me?
LUKE
This is getting ridiculous. The entire meeting tonight was about flowers, festivals, pageants, and decorations.
TAYLOR
Well, what would you suggest we talk about? I'm all ears.
LUKE
Anything but this. If people want to decorate, fine, but we don't have to have a town meeting about which direction the leaves should face. It's crazy!
TAYLOR
It is not crazy. You can't have people just throw up their decorations up any which way they please.
LUKE
Why not? Do you think Father Winter will pass over Stars Hollow if somebody has their fake leaves hanging in a loop instead of a twist?
TAYLOR
You know, I'm getting a little tired of being the butt of all your jokes.
LUKE
Then don't make it so easy.
TAYLOR
At least I care about this town and what happens to it. You may think all these rules are silly, but do you know what would happen if there weren't any rules? Stars Hollow would turn into a mini Hartford and we all know what Hartford is like. Is that what you want?
LUKE
Oh, horrors upon horrors that people would be able to put up their stupid decorations any way they want to.
TAYLOR
You know what, I'm tired of this. I'm tired of looking like the bad guy all the time. I'm tired of fighting you tooth and nail all the time to keep this town looking presentable and an enjoyable, festive place to live. I quit!
LUKE
Quit what?
TAYLOR
Everything! I can't take the ridicule anymore. Effective immediately, I resign from ALL committees of which I'm a member.
Taylor storms out. Everyone sits in stunned silence. Kirk raises his hand. MISS PATTY walks up to the podium.
MISS PATTY
Yes, Kirk?
KIRK
Since the position is now open, I'd like to submit my name as head of the Star Hollow Aesthetics Committee.
MISS PATTY
It doesn't pay anything.
KIRK
Oh. Forget it, then.
MISS PATTY
Well, until we got this thing with Taylor straightened out, who would like to take over the planning for the Winter Festival?
Silence.
MISS PATTY (cont'd)
Come on, people, the festival starts in a few weeks, so we must start planning now. It's an important job that takes a lot of time and hard work to organize the activities, decorations, food, music, and so forth, so don't volunteer unless you're prepared to give the festival preparation your full attention. So, who's up to the challenge?
Silence in the room.
MISS PATTY (cont'd)
Anyone?
More silence.
MISS PATTY (cont'd)
Okay, maybe that's a little too much responsibility for one person. How about we spread out the tasks so you're only in charge of one thing. Who would like to be in charge of the activities?
Silence.
MISS PATTY (cont'd)
Music?
More silence.
MISS PATTY (cont'd)
I see. Well, in that case, we have no choice but to cancel the Winter Festival.
Everyone groans in disappointment.
MISS PATTY (cont'd)
I think we can all thank Luke for this unfortunate turn of events.
People start booing. Luke stands up to defend himself.
LUKE
Hey! You should all be thanking me. He was out of control.
More booing, a little more loudly.
LUKE (cont'd)
I didn't tell him to quit!
Someone throws popcorn at Luke.
LUKE (cont'd)
Who threw that?
(looks around the room)
Kirk, was that you? You're dead.
LORELAI
(yells)
Hey, Lucas!
Luke turns around to look at Lorelai.
LUKE
What?
LORELAI
You suck!
The loud booing continues and more people start throwing popcorn at Luke. Lorelai nudges Rory and they sneak out.
FADE OUT.
END OF ACT TWO
ACT THREE
FADE IN:
INT. INDEPENDENCE INN - KITCHEN
Lorelai, SOOKIE, and MICHEL are in the kitchen. Rory walks in wearing her school uniform.
SOOKIE
Hi, sweetie.
LORELAI
Hey, babe. Where have you been?
Rory looks down at her school uniform.
RORY
Uh... school.
LORELAI
You just usually get here a little earlier. Was the bus late?
RORY
No. I stopped by the diner.
LORELAI
Oh.
RORY
Well, I'm going to get going.
LORELAI
Going where?
RORY
Home.
LORELAI
I thought you were going to work this afternoon so you could start saving for the fabulous Donatella Versace dress you promised me for Christmas.
RORY
Well, I have a lot of homework to do. I guess you'll just have to keep making your own dresses, Cinderella.
LORELAI
So, you're going to be at home?
RORY
Yes.
LORELAI
Not planning on going out at all?
RORY
What's with the third degree?
LORELAI
No third degree.
RORY
Then why is my skin blistering?
LORELAI
I have a right to know what you're doing or where you're going.
RORY
Oh, right. Let me fill you in. I'm going to walk home. Do you need to know what route I'm taking?
LORELAI
That won't be necessary.
RORY
When I get home, I might make myself a snack. Then I'm going to start working on my homework. I'm not sure if I'm going to have the snack first or start the homework first.
LORELAI
That's enough.
RORY
I might have to go to the bathroom at some point, but I'll call to make sure it's okay with you first, okay?
LORELAI
Cut the sarcasm, and I don't like your tone, either. I'm your mother. I have every right to know where you're going and who you're with and what you're doing.
RORY
Whatever, Grandma.
LORELAI
What's that supposed to mean?
RORY
It's supposed to mean that you sound just like Grandma. Where is this coming from? You've never questioned me like this before.
LORELAI
Well, maybe I should have. I'm just making up for lost nagging time.
RORY
This is such bull. You never gave me a hard time when I was dating Dean. You've just got it out for Jess.
LORELAI
No, I don't.
RORY
Yes, you do. We haven't done anything wrong and you're acting like we did. Whatever happened to "I trust your judgment, Rory." You just meant you trust my judgment as long as I do exactly what you want me to do and that's crap.
Rory storms out.
MICHEL
And we have a winner in the most controlling parent category. Thank you so much for playing.
LORELAI
What? I just asked her what her plans were. There's nothing wrong with that.
MICHEL
If you say so, Emily.
LORELAI
Stop saying that!
Michel exits the kitchen.
SOOKIE
(shaking her head)
Lorelai, what was that?
LORELAI
You see how she's acting now that she's with Jess? I knew this kid was going to be trouble.
SOOKIE
I meant, what was with you? Rory's right, you know.
LORELAI
I do not sound like my mother!
SOOKIE
You do sound like your mother and you need to stop because it's freaking me out, but I was actually referring to the Dean thing.
LORELAI
What about the Dean thing?
SOOKIE
Rory and Dean were alone all the time and you didn't have a problem with it. You didn't have her detail her every waking moment.
LORELAI
I know, but it's different with Jess.
SOOKIE
Honey, you have to trust Rory.
LORELAI
She's been so secretive lately, though. I know she goes to see him sometimes but doesn't tell me. I'm like the enemy now, and I hate it. She used to tell me everything.
SOOKIE
Uh, no, she didn't.
LORELAI
What? Rory doesn't keep secrets from me.
SOOKIE
She didn't tell you when she got that bad grade in school when she went to Chilton. Max told you.
LORELAI
Well, okay, one thing.
SOOKIE
She didn't tell you about Dean at first. In fact, didn't you hear about her first kiss from Mrs. Kim?
LORELAI
Yes, and that still bothers me.
SOOKIE
And what about that time-
LORELAI
Thank you, Sookie! I get the point.
SOOKIE
Honey, I know you and Rory are close, but she's not going to tell you everything all the time. Besides, you haven't exactly kept your feelings about Jess a secret. Do you blame her for not telling you everything?
LORELAI
Yes, I do!
(beat)
No, I don't.
SOOKIE
You need to trust her.
LORELAI
I do trust her. I just get the feeling that things are a lot more (pause) physical with Jess. I keep thinking back to how I was with Christopher and I don't want her doing anything that she'll regret later on.
SOOKIE
Face it, they're 18 years old. If they're going to (motions with her hand), you can't stop it from happening. If you freak out on her, she won't confide in you at all. Is that what you want?
LORELAI
No.
SOOKIE
Rory has a good head on her shoulders. You know you're just going to drive her to him even more if you keep acting like a maniac.
LORELAI
You're right. I need to go talk to Rory.
SOOKIE
Good luck.
INT. LORELAI'S HOUSE
Rory is doing her homework in her room. Lorelai walks in.
LORELAI
Hey.
RORY
What are you doing home?
LORELAI
I wanted to talk to you.
RORY
I guess I'm in trouble because I called Jess when I got home and didn't let you know?
LORELAI
You're not in trouble.
RORY
I did talk to him for a good 5 minutes. Maybe we should stop by the pharmacy and buy a home pregnancy test to see if I'm knocked up.
LORELAI
Pregnancy tests don't work that fast. We'll try it again in a few days.
RORY
That's funny.
LORELAI
Listen, I know I came on a little strong with the overprotective mother thing earlier.
RORY
A little?
LORELAI
Okay, a lot. I'm sorry.
RORY
Why did you act like that?
LORELAI
I think it's genetic. All mothers are hot-wired to act that way at times.
RORY
I won't ever act that way with my kids.
LORELAI
Yes, you will.
RORY
No, I won't.
LORELAI
Then you'll be the first mother in the history of the world who doesn't. You'll be more famous than Dr. Spock.
RORY
I'll send you a copy of my tell-all book that trashes you to pieces.
LORELAI
Can I have a say in who plays me in the made-for-tv movie?
(beat)
You were right when you said it bothers me that you're going out with Jess.
RORY
No kidding. It doesn't take a genius to figure that one out.
LORELAI
It's just that, I see you with him and you two seem really into each other and...
RORY
And what?
LORELAI
And it scares me because I have no control over what you do when you're together.
RORY
We haven't done anything.
LORELAI
Yet.
RORY
Yet.
LORELAI
(accusing)
But you will.
RORY
I don't know. I don't exactly have a timetable for this stuff.
LORELAI
(accusing)
So you want to.
RORY
What is your problem?
LORELAI
I get the feeling that Jess has a lot more experience than you with sex and you might feel pressured to do something you're not ready for.
RORY
He's not pressuring me to do anything.
LORELAI
Good.
RORY
But you're still worried.
LORELAI
Yes. Guys like Jess...
RORY
Guys like Jess what?
LORELAI
Rory, drop the attitude. I have a right to be concerned about your relationship with Jess.
RORY
Why, because we might have sex?
LORELAI
Yes!
RORY
What makes you think that I didn't have sex with Dean?
LORELAI
(stunned)
What?
RORY
I dated Dean for two years. Wouldn't it make sense that a couple who dated for two years might have had sex?
LORELAI
I just-
RORY
Why do you assume that Jess wants to have sex with me and Dean didn't?
LORELAI
I can't believe this. You had sex with Dean?
RORY
It's none of your business!
LORELAI
Yes, it is!
RORY
No, it's not.
LORELAI
Why didn't you tell me?
RORY
Remember when Dean and I fell asleep that time at Miss Patty's? You totally freaked out and we hadn't even done anything.
LORELAI
I can't believe you didn't tell me.
RORY
There's nothing to tell.
(beat)
I didn't have sex with Dean. I was just making a point.
LORELAI
Lorelai Leigh Gilmore, don't you ever do that to me again.
(beat)
I have to sit down.
RORY
Mom, listen to yourself. You ask me to be honest with you but then you freak out if it's something you don't want to hear. You can't have it both ways.
LORELAI
You're right. I will try to be more calm about this.
(beat)
You just have to promise me that you'll be safe when you do have sex.
RORY
We are not-
LORELAI
I know you're not. I'm talking about when you do, whenever that is. Promise me you'll be careful.
RORY
Okay.
LORELAI
Okay, what?
RORY
I promise I'll be careful.
LORELAI
And that you won't be talked into doing something you don't want to do out of a sense of obligation or fear of rejection or anything else.
RORY
I promise.
LORELAI
Okay. That's all I ask.
RORY
And all I ask is that you make an effort to get along with Jess.
LORELAI
That's asking a lot.
RORY
Mom!
LORELAI
Okay, okay. I'll try.
RORY
Thank you.
LORELAI
So, we skipped breakfast at the diner. Do you think Luke has cooled off or do you think he'll be mad at us?
RORY
What do you mean, us?
LORELAI
Okay, me. I guess there's only one way to find out. Care to join me?
RORY
Sure.
INT. KIM'S ANTIQUES - EVENING
Lane walks into the house.
LANE
Mama?
No answer. Lane walks into the store and continues to look around the store for her mother.
LANE (cont'd)
Mama?
Lane walks into the kitchen. Mrs. Kim is making dinner.
MRS. KIM
Dinner's almost ready.
LANE
Mama, we have to talk.
MRS. KIM
No, we don't.
LANE
You've been ignoring me for days.
MRS. KIM
What do you care? You don't respect me anymore. You do whatever you want behind my back and laugh at me.
LANE
That's not true. I do respect you, but you can't run my life for me. You can't tell me who to see or not see. I know you worry about me, but I'm not a child anymore.
MRS. KIM
You are not an adult, either.
LANE
I'm a teenager. You can't keep grounding me for things I've done when I haven't even done anything wrong.
Mrs. Kim is silent.
LANE (cont'd)
I have to do things on my own, and sometimes you might not approve, but I need to figure things out for myself.
MRS. KIM
I just want what's best for you. I don't want to see you make mistakes and get hurt.
LANE
I don't either, but I'm going to. I love music, mama. I'm going to play the drums. I also like Dave and I'm going to keep seeing him. I hope you can accept that.
MRS. KIM
Why can't you find a nice Korean boy? What is wrong with Korean boys?
LANE
Nothing is wrong with Korean boys, but that doesn't mean I can't date someone else. Dave is great. He's nice and we have a lot in common.
MRS. KIM
What? Does he have his music hidden in the floor of his room, too?
LANE
You know about that?
MRS. KIM
Of course.
LANE
I love you, Mama.
Lane hugs Mrs. Kim for a long time. Mrs. Kim is tense at first, but then she hugs Lane back.
INT. LUKE'S DINER
There is a mob of people outside Luke's. Rory and Lorelai walk into the diner. They are the only customers in the diner.
LUKE
(pointing outside)
Out!
LORELAI
(pleading)
Come on, Luke. Don't be that way.
LUKE
You have a lot of nerve coming in here.
LORELAI
What do you mean?
LUKE
You caused a near riot and practically got me killed!
LORELAI
I thought you would've forgotten all about that already.
LUKE
It was last night!
LORELAI
Wow. Time flies.
LUKE
You told me I sucked and threw things at me.
LORELAI
I didn't throw anything at you, but I did yell that you sucked and that was wrong and I'm sorry about that.
RORY
She seems to be wrong quite a bit the last few days.
LORELAI
(to Rory)
Shut it, missy.
(to Luke)
I was just upset that the festival was canceled. Winter is my favorite time of year and the festival is one of my most favorite events of the year.
LUKE
Then why didn't you just volunteer to take over the planning if it means so much to you?
LORELAI
Do you know what a pain in the butt that would be?
LUKE
Everyone is so up in arms about this stupid festival. All day long, people have been standing outside with picket signs. Apparently, not too many people in this town have jobs. A little kid called me The Grinch Who Stole WinterFest.
LORELAI
You know, you kind of are like the Grinch... without the cool soundtrack, though.
LUKE
Didn't I tell you to get out?
LORELAI
It might not just be the picketers outside that stop people from coming in here.
RORY
Come on, Luke. Talk to Taylor and get him back on the festival planning committee.
LUKE
No way.
LORELAI
It would get the picketers outside to leave.
LUKE
No, it's the principle of the thing.
LORELAI
Besides, the festival is a lot of fun. I know you would never admit it, but deep down, I know you like it.
LUKE
Dream on.
LORELAI
It doesn't bother you that Doose's market doesn't have any decorations up?
LUKE
No.
RORY
I think it's depressing.
LORELAI
Really depressing.
LUKE
Of course you would think it's depressing. You dress up pens and pencils.
LORELAI
Don't you think you should apologize to Taylor?
LUKE
For what?
LORELAI
You were a little hard on him last night. He just acts the way he does because he cares about Stars Hollow.
LUKE
He goes way too far.
LORELAI
And you reel him in, and we appreciate that.
LUKE
So, people agree with me? Then what's with the mob outside?
LORELAI
Taylor does go a little overboard on the rules and regulations, but you have to admit the town wouldn't be the same without him. Let's face it, he does keep the town looking clean and pretty with all those littering and cleanliness rules.
RORY
And there wouldn't be any festivals or pageants without him because no one else is willing to take the time to do it.
LUKE
I guess, but he drives me crazy.
RORY
If it's any consolation, I think you drive him crazy, too.
LUKE
Well, I guess that's something.
(beat)
I'll talk to Taylor, okay?
LORELAI
Great! All that talk of Molotov cocktails when we came in made me thirsty. How about some coffee?
Luke pours some coffee.
FADE OUT.
END OF ACT THREE
ACT FOUR
FADE IN:
INT. STARS HOLLOW HIGH - DAY
Jess is sitting by the window, looking bored. Lane is in the aisle next to him, one row up. There's a tapping noise as small pebbles hit the window. Jess waits until the teacher isn't looking and leans over to look out the window. DAVE is standing outside. He holds up a piece of paper with the word Lane on it. Jess nods to Dave to let him know that he'll get Lane.
JESS
(whispers)
Lane!
Lane doesn't hear him.
JESS (cont'd)
(a little louder)
Lane!
Lane still doesn't hear him. Jess throws a book so it lands next to Lane. It makes a loud noise and Lane is startled and jumps out of her chair.
TEACHER
Whose book is that?
JESS
It's mine. Sorry, it slipped.
Lane snatches up the book and walks over and drops the book on Jess' desk.
LANE
(angry)
You almost gave me a heart attack.
JESS
Sorry. It won't happen again.
Jess nods outside. Lane looks out and sees Dave. He waves her down.
LANE
(to teacher)
Can I be excused? I need a few minutes to get myself together.
TEACHER
Certainly.
LANE
(whispers to Jess)
Thanks.
Jess nods. Lane walks out of the classroom.
EXT. STARS HOLLOW HIGH
Lane walks out of the high school and runs over to Dave. She grabs Dave's arm and brings him around to the side of the school.
DAVE
How are you? I've been worried about you. Your mom won't let me see you or talk to you.
LANE
I know, I'm sorry. My mom is a little...
DAVE
Scary?
LANE
Well, I was going to say old-fashioned, but scary works, too.
DAVE
I'm really sorry about what happened.
LANE
(disappointed because she thinks Dave is referring to the kiss)
You are?
DAVE
Yes. I mean, no. I'm happy about what happened with us, but I'm sorry you got in trouble. I know you said your mom was strict, but I had no idea.
LANE
It's okay. It was worth it.
DAVE
(smiles)
I've missed you.
LANE
(smiles)
I've missed you, too.
Dave and Lane kiss.
DAVE
I have to go. I left my last class early and skipped lunch to get here, but I need to get back so I can make it to my next class. I just wanted to make sure you were okay.
LANE
I'm fine. Even better now, though.
DAVE
When can I see you again?
LANE
I'll call you when I'm not grounded anymore. I don't think it'll be too much longer.
DAVE
Okay. Sounds good.
LANE
And guess what? I think I'll be able to be in the band. I mean, for real. My mom and I had it out and I told her all about you and the drumming and the band. She wasn't wild about it, but she didn't forbid it, so that's major progress.
DAVE
That's awesome. Look, I'm really sorry, but I have to go.
LANE
Okay. Thanks for coming to see me. I'm really glad you did.
DAVE
Me, too.
Lane and Dave kiss and Lane runs back into school.
INT. DOOSE'S MARKET
Luke walks in to talk to Taylor.
LUKE
Hey, Taylor.
TAYLOR
Hello, Luke.
LUKE
How's it going?
TAYLOR
Fine.
LUKE
Where are all your decorations?
TAYLOR
In the back. I'm not in a very festive mood this year, so I'm not going to put up any decorations. You should be happy.
LUKE
Your decorations are fine. I know a lot of people like them.
TAYLOR
Including you?
LUKE
I really don't care one way or the other.
TAYLOR
Oh.
LUKE
Look your decorations are fine, Taylor. It's just that when you try to force the entire town to do things your way, it bothers me.
TAYLOR
I didn't force the town to do anything. We took a vote.
LUKE
But it was you that brought the issue up for a vote in the first place. No one else cared.
TAYLOR
That's your opinion.
(beat)
What are you doing here, Luke?
LUKE
I came to... I just wanted to tell you that I might have gone a little overboard with the criticism at that meeting.
TAYLOR
Well, I appreciate you saying that.
LUKE
So, are you going to go back to all those committees you were on so things can get back to normal?
TAYLOR
No, I am not.
LUKE
Why not?
TAYLOR
Because you haven't apologized.
LUKE
I just did!
TAYLOR
I didn't hear an apology.
LUKE
Fine. I apologize, okay?
TAYLOR
Sorry, not good enough.
LUKE
What?
TAYLOR
That apology wasn't good enough. It wasn't heartfelt and you didn't say what you were apologizing for.
LUKE
(annoyed)
Taylor...
(beat)
I apologize for belittling your efforts to keep Stars Hollow a nice place to live.
TAYLOR
And?
LUKE
And I will try not to criticize as much in the future.
TAYLOR
And?
LUKE
And if you don't accept my apology right now, I'm going to shove that-
TAYLOR
Apology accepted.
LUKE
So, can I tell the psychopaths outside my diner that the festival is back on?
TAYLOR
Yes.
LUKE
Good. I'll see you later.
Luke starts to walk out of the market.
LUKE (cont'd)
You know, you never said that trying to project your vision of Taylorville onto Stars Hollow goes a little too far sometimes.
TAYLOR
Well, no, I guess I didn't.
Taylor reaches under the counter and pulls out a box.
TAYLOR (cont'd)
Care to help me put up some decorations?
LUKE
No.
Luke walks out of the store.
INT. LORELAI'S HOUSE
Lorelai answers the door. Jess is on the porch. He holds up a letter.
LORELAI
News from the underground?
JESS
It's a note from Lane. She gave it to me at school to give to Rory, but I haven't seen Rory today so I thought I'd drop by and give it to her. It seemed kind of important.
LORELAI
Rory's at the video store.
JESS
Oh. Well, can you give this to her?
Jess hands Lorelai the letter.
LORELAI
Thank you, Rolf. I'll make sure she gets it.
Jess starts to walk off.
LORELAI (cont'd)
Liesl should be back from the store any minute. We're going to watch a movie. Do you want to join us?
JESS
(beat)
Do I have to sing Edelweiss?
LORELAI
(smiles)
Not this time.
JESS
Okay.
Lorelai opens the door. Jess walks in. They are awkward around each other.
LORELAI
Do you want a soda?
JESS
Sure.
Lorelai walks into the kitchen to get the drink. Jess looks uncomfortable. She comes back out with the soda and hands it to Jess.
LORELAI
You are allowed to sit down.
JESS
Okay. Thanks.
Jess starts to sit down.
LORELAI
Not there!
Jess jumps up, nervous.
JESS
Sorry. I didn't know.
LORELAI
(laughing)
That's okay. I was just kidding. I was trying to lighten things up a little.
JESS
Oh. Well, good job with that.
LORELAI
Seriously, have a seat.
Jess and Lorelai sit down. Awkward silence.
LORELAI (cont'd)
Rory should be back any minute.
JESS
That's good. So, what movie are we watching?
LORELAI
I'm not sure. It was Rory's choice tonight. Her taste is questionable sometimes.
Jess looks over at Lorelai.
JESS
Look, I know you don't like me, but I'm making an effort to be nice for Rory's sake.
LORELAI
I know that Rory likes you and-
JESS
And I know you don't. You've made that pretty clear.
LORELAI
Rory is the most important thing in my life. The thought of anything happening to her is - I can't even think about it.
JESS
Nothing is going to happen. You don't have to worry.
LORELAI
You're one car accident too late for that.
JESS
Look, no one feels worse about that than me.
LORELAI
Uh, yeah, I think I do.
JESS
Why can't you let it go?
LORELAI
Let it go? She could've been killed!
JESS
I know that and I feel terrible about it, but you know it was an accident. I can't change what happened in the past, but I would never do anything to hurt Rory.
(beat)
Look, this is not going to work. It's obvious that you've already made up your mind about me and nothing I say is going to change that.
LORELAI
Can you blame me? You haven't exactly proven yourself to be trustworthy. I'm not just talking about the accident. You're manipulative. You did everything you could to come between Rory and Dean. You drink, smoke, steal, and fight. You treat everyone like crap, including Luke.
JESS
Oh, you're one to talk about that.
LORELAI
What?
JESS
You don't like the fact that I don't kiss your ass like the rest of this town does.
LORELAI
What are you talking about?
JESS
You come into Luke's all the time after he's closed and demand food and coffee. You're always making him do things that he doesn't want to do and he's always over here fixing things for you.
LORELAI
We're friends.
JESS
You invite people over to your house for dinner or parties all the time and Sookie does all the cooking.
LORELAI
She's a chef! She likes to cook.
JESS
You talk incessantly and interrupt constantly during those stupid town meetings and nobody ever tells you to shut up. Everyone around here caters to your every whim and I won't do it and you can't stand that.
LORELAI
And you wonder why I don't like you?
(beat)
Look, I know I can't stop Rory from seeing you, but you had better not do anything to hurt her, ever. Now get out of my house.
JESS
Fine.
Jess walks out just as Rory is walking in.
RORY
Jess, what are you doing here?
JESS
Delivering a letter.
RORY
Why don't you stay for the movie?
JESS
No, thanks. I was just leaving.
Jess storms out.
RORY
What happened?
LORELAI
Nothing. So, what movie did you get?
RORY
Tell me what happened. What did you say to him?
LORELAI
Hey! You have no idea what happened. Why do you assume it's my fault?
RORY
Because I know how you are when you don't like someone and you've already told me that you hate him.
LORELAI
Well, he's not all that fond of me, either. I don't know what you see in him.
RORY
Of course you don't. You won't give him a chance.
LORELAI
I was nice to him when he fist got here and he treated me and everyone else like crap. He's used up his chances.
RORY
He's changed since then. If you would ever actually talk to him, you would see that. I'm so sick of defending him to you! What exactly is your problem with him?
LORELAI
He scares me.
RORY
He scares you?
LORELAI
Yes. He reminds me of me when I was a teenager. He's smart but doesn't like school that much. He doesn't have a good relationship with his parents. He has problems with authority figures, most likely stemming from a poor relationship with his parents. He's rude, disrespectful, and doesn't use the best judgment. That's me back then!
RORY
You turned out okay.
LORELAI
I dropped out of high school to have a baby! Don't get me wrong, I'm so grateful that I have you in my life, but I don't want you to follow in my footsteps. I don't want you to repeat my mistakes.
RORY
I won't.
LORELAI
I know you think that, but things happen when you're young and the hormones are running wild you're not thinking clearly.
RORY
I'm already past the point of repeating your mistakes. You had me when you were sixteen and I haven't even had sex yet! Even if I got pregnant right this second, I'd still graduate from high school on schedule.
LORELAI
That doesn't mean you can run around with whomever you want and do whatever you want. Unless, of course, you plan to make it onto the Harvard Girls Gone Wild video.
RORY
When are you going to learn that I'm not you? I don't sneak out of the house like you did, I don't drink like you did, I don't smoke like you did, and I'm not having sex like you did.
LORELAI
I'm glad about that. I am. You have so much going for you. You can do anything you want to do with your life. I just want to make sure that nothing, especially a boy, interferes with your plans for the future.
RORY
I'm going to college. I promise.
(beat)
You can't keep disliking Jess because of what you and dad did when you were younger. It's not fair.
LORELAI
You're right. I mean, I do think I have a few legitimate reasons not to like him, but a lot of it is just fear on my part because of the stuff I did.
RORY
I understand what you're afraid of, but you have to trust me. I'm not going to let anything happen.
LORELAI
Okay.
RORY
That's it? Okay?
LORELAI
I'm not going to say that I'm not concerned, but I want you to be able to talk to me and be honest with me, no matter what. I don't want us to have the relationship I had with my parents. I don't want you running off in the middle of the night to be with Jess. We have to be able to talk about this stuff.
RORY
Well, it's not that easy to talk about when you flip out.
LORELAI
I know. I'm sorry. I'll try not to.
RORY
Mom, Jess is a good guy.
LORELAI
I know you think so.
RORY
I don't just think so. He is.
LORELAI
I will try to keep a more open mind, okay? That's the best I can do right now.
RORY
That's a start.
LORELAI
Besides, once your grandparents get wind of this relationship, they'll take over with the yelling, worry, and disappointed looks so I'll be off the parental hook, so to speak.
RORY
You wouldn't.
LORELAI
Wouldn't I?
RORY
No, you wouldn't.
LORELAI
(beat)
I wouldn't what?
RORY
You wouldn't tell Grandma and Grandpa about my dating Jess.
LORELAI
Oh, right. Wouldn't I?
RORY
Mom!
LORELAI
Well, if he's so wonderful, why hide him from your grandparents?
RORY
Mom, come on. We just started going out. Even you have to admit that it would be cruel and unusual to subject Jess to them at this point.
LORELAI
Or subject them to Jess.
RORY
Okay, when exactly is the Jess tolerance going to begin?
LORELAI
(sheepish)
Now.
(beat)
They are going to find out about it sooner or later, you know.
RORY
I know. I'm just hoping that it will be later.
LORELAI
I don't blame you.
(beat)
Well, you should probably go talk to your boyfriend.
RORY
Yeah, I should. I won't be gone long and when I get back, we'll watch the movie together, okay?
LORELAI
Okay.
Rory runs out. Lorelai looks a little sad because Rory is growing up and she's still nervous about her going out with Jess.
FADE OUT.
END OF EPISODE