Nowhere To Run
Chapter Six
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Many, many thanks for all the positive reviews!!!!
///////////////////////////
Frank sat alone in his office and relived the events of the past few hours.
*I pulled a gun on one of my own!*
He scrubbed his hands roughly over his face and gave an exasperated sigh. *Am I really THAT tired?* he questioned himself. He'd been on harder cases, worse cases than this one at least a dozen times over. So why now? *You've lost control, Francis. Plain and simple. You've put your emotions and feelings before the needs and demands of the case.*
He rose from the desk and went to stare out the window. "God, I really hate the city," he said out loud to himself. Truth be told, it wasn't Chicago he hated. It was every city. Crowded. Dirty. That's how he always saw them. No matter where he was. No matter what country. He longed for wide open spaces and the freedom that came with that. He sighed heavily knowing that was one dream that he'd never be able to have.
He wandered over to the windows overlooking the main floor. He saw his team members working diligently at the assignments that he had given them.
Cody had already outfitted Jake and Alex with the mics and cameras that they would be wearing while out on their search, and was now busily typing away at his terminal trying to find all the information that he could dredge up on Amanda Blake and Katherine Dawson.
Monica was reviewing Katherine's file one more time and busily taking notes. He wondered if she would have the same conclusions that he had arrived at while he last perused her file.
Jake and Alex were pouring over the map of the search area, dividing up the territory so that no stone would be left unturned.
He watched them all with amazement. When he first took over as their leader, he was not impressed to say the least. He had at first found Cody to be nothing but a smart mouthed pain. Monica had been so unsure of her abilities that she was hesitant to share her viewpoints with him. Alex, he feared, would always become emotionally entangled in whatever operation they would become involved in. And Jake…….Jake, he thought, was nothing but a careless, over-confident hot head.
He wondered how they would react if he ever told them that when he took over leadership of this command he had been given carte blanche. The powers that be had told him that he was free to make whatever personnel changes he felt necessary, and that he had his pick of just about anyone involved with the justice department. During the course of their first case together, he had come very close to calling his boss and telling him that he wanted the whole team replaced. Only one thing had stopped him. He saw in each of them, some potential. He felt that given the right support and training, that this group could become a force to be reckoned with. They may not see eye to eye on everything but he had come to value each of their opinions and input. Even from Cody, he thought with a smile.
He turned back around and sat down again at his desk. A year ago, he had been nothing but an outsider. A man who had replaced their well liked leader. If today's events had happened then, he had no doubt that Jake would have had him brought up on charges quicker than he could blink. *If he didn't punch my lights out first.*
Even worse, he thought, what if Monica had not reasoned with him as effectively as she had. He shuddered to think about what might have happened.
After the situation had been diffused, Jake and Monica had followed him back up to his office. The three had talked for close to two hours about what had happened. He had no excuses for himself. How could he explain to them what was really going on in his life? How could he admit that he had seen the killer face-to-face and let her escape. Not only had he let her escape, but that he had spent nearly 5 hours with her in a little neighborhood bar making small talk like they were long lost friends. How could he explain that even though he had initiated a search for her capture, silently part of him wanted her to escape? Jake had insisted that the situation of this morning had been nothing more than a case of overwork and stress. Monica seemed to agree. They both knew that he often spent long hours going through case files well after the time that the rest of the group had left. They both assumed that he had spent the last five days cooped up in his office instead of taking the same time off that he had insisted that the everyone else take. He let them believe it. It was better than the truth.
After the discussion had ended, both Jake and Monica had insisted that he take the rest of the day off and actually spend some time relaxing. They could begin the search without him. They said that they had his cell and phone #'s and would call immediately if they come across anything of interest. At first he had protested, but finally relented. The truth was, his heart just wasn't in this search to begin with. Another fact that he couldn't share with them. So in the end, he had agreed to leave after he had finished up a few things. So after reliving today's events one more time, he decided to head home.
He left his office just about the time that Jake and Alex were also preparing to leave. All motion ceased on the floor when they heard him descending the stairs. All eyes were upon him and in those eyes he saw understanding and compassion laced with a small amount of apprehension and possibly fear. He couldn't blame them for fearing him. He had done the unthinkable and even though they seemed ready and willing to forgive him, part of him knew they he would never fully forgive himself.
Frank stopped when he reached the rest of the group and said, "I just want to say once again how very sorry I am about what happened earlier. What I did was unforgivable. I have no worthy excuse for my actions. Cody….Alex….I'll tell you the same that I told Jake and Monica earlier, if either one of you wants to bring me up on charges, please do so. Or if either one of you feels that you would like to be transferred to another unit, I would certainly understand."
Alex, Cody, Monica and Jake all exchanged glances and then Jake offered, " Yeah well, we've discussed what happened and figured that…..you know…..sometimes we take you for granted. The rest of us get to blow off steam whenever we want to, but we always expect you to have perfect control. I guess that's not really fair. I mean, hell, look at me……I always seem to be going over the deep end, and no one blinks an eye!" This elicited a few nervous grins around the group.
"I guess what I'm trying to say is that, we know that you're under a lot of pressure from the higher-ups to get results. That can't be easy. You know, keeping up that perfect Donovan record and all," Jake said with a hint of humor in his voice.
"So if you ever want to vent, I hope you know that you can talk to any of us. After all, we're in this together right? Who better to understand what you're going through."
Frank was truly speechless. He slowly looked around at the group and wondered how he had gotten so lucky. And to think, he had almost fired all of them.
"Just one more thing though," Jake added as Frank turned back toward him, "pull a gun on me again, and you better hope you kill me." His tone was tinged with humor but the undertone told Frank that he was serious.
Frank looked Jake in the eyes and an understanding passed between the two. Frank slowly smiled and extended his hand towards Jake. Jake at first just stared at him, and then seemed to understand that this was Frank's way of closing the book on what had happened. A guy's version of a hug of forgiveness. Jake took his hand and there seemed to be a collective sigh heard throughout the room.
"All right!" Jake started, "I believe Alex and I have a lot of mileage to cover and time's awastin'! Let's go partner!"
"We'll let you know the instant we come across anything," Alex added and then the two were gone.
Frank stood in the middle of the operations center and seemed at a loss as to what to do. Then he heard Monica clear her throat trying to get his attention.
"Go home Frank," Monica said. "We can handle this part of the investigation, and you promised to go and get some rest."
"I know. I'm going." And with that Frank started for the door. He stopped once more before exiting.
"Monica," he said, waiting for her to face him, "thanks………for everything."
Monica smiled in return. She knew he meant not only for the counseling that she had provided but also for talking the gun away from him.
"All in a day's work." she said lightly.
He gave her one last smile and left.
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Across town, Katherine was solemnly looking out the window while riding the "L". Ever since she had left Frank on Saturday night, she had been in a terrible funk. Depressed. Moody. She had shut herself off from the world around her and seemed to wander around in a daze, unfeeling, unseeing.
*Damn it!! How the hell did I let this man get that close to me that quickly!" she screamed silently to herself.
She'd barricaded herself up in her apartment since that night, but suddenly this afternoon, the silence and solitude had been overwhelming. She fled her place as if it had been on fire. She flew down the stairs and practically ran out into the street, such was here need to be out in the open and away from the memories of that night. She had stewed in those memories for the past 36 hours.
She could recollect every detail about him. The exact color of his eyes. Warm honey or was it molasses? The way his beard framed his mouth and chin and that slight stubble along his cheeks. The gray that shaded his temples. The cute tilt of his ears. The way his eyes lit up when he really smiled. How his fingers wrapped around the glass that he drank out of. So many details. She remembered more about him than she thought she could ever recall about anyone else she had ever known in her life.
After she had made it to the street, she had wandered around aimlessly for hours. When she got tired of walking, she considered going home but the idea of spending another minute holed up in her room appalled her. So she decide to jump on the elevated train or the "L" as the locals called it. She had no destination in mind. She just needed to be on the move. She rode for a long time, back and forth, to and fro. Anywhere but home. For some reason she felt that just being on the move would help erase the thought of him. But after what seemed like an eternity, but in actuality had only been a few hours, she realized that she was kidding herself.
Maybe it was the events of the past year weighing so heavily upon her, or maybe it was the fact that it had been so long since she had truly enjoyed a man's company that made her want to cling to what little time she had spent with Frank. She had become very accomplished over the years in learning how to keep people, and men especially, at arms length. Entanglements, especially emotional ones, were dangerous if not impossible in her line of work. And, she reminded herself, she was very good at what she did.
She closed her eyes and tried to will away the swirling blackness of emotion that she found herself caught up in. Sighing, she opened her eyes. Nothing had changed. She was still alone and more than that……she was lonely.
With that thought, she decided that it was no use trying to run away physically from whatever she was feeling emotionally. Looking around quickly, she realized that she was very near the stop near her apartment. *Might as well get off now. Another hour or two circling the city isn't going to help.*
Just as dusk was settling over the city, she exited the train and headed for home.
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Frank had left the warehouse some time ago, but hadn't felt like going home just yet. Instead he had decided to head over to a gym that he frequented close by. He knew he could use the facilities at work, but when he worked out, he needed to be away from whatever was eating at him and usually that meant whatever case they were following at the moment.
He worked out vigorously, trying to free his mind of all thoughts related to this case. Thoughts of Katherine, he reminded himself. After hours of strenuous exercise, weight lifting and kick boxing, he knew that it was useless. Although he felt physically spent, his mind was still racing. And after a cooling shower, he decided to finally head home.
He pulled his car into the parking garage at his apartment building, but hesitated on actually entering the structure. Stalling, he instead headed out toward the sidewalk with the excuse of walking to the nearby video store so that he could relax by watching a movie tonight.
He slowly walked down the street. Not really mindful of those passing around him. His thoughts wrapped up in the case at hand, when suddenly he heard someone call his name.
"Frank?"
He knew the voice before he even looked around. He closed his eyes, sighing heavily. He felt like he had just aged ten years in one second. He knew that voice. The voice he had been dreaming about. The voice he wished he'd never hear again.
When he opened his eyes, she was standing directly in front of him. The moment of truth had arrived sooner than he'd expected.
"Amanda," he said sadly.
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Next chapter: Frank's moment of truth. Will he turn her in? Will she confess everything? Will they both give in to their attraction?????
Chapter Six
///////////////////////////
Many, many thanks for all the positive reviews!!!!
///////////////////////////
Frank sat alone in his office and relived the events of the past few hours.
*I pulled a gun on one of my own!*
He scrubbed his hands roughly over his face and gave an exasperated sigh. *Am I really THAT tired?* he questioned himself. He'd been on harder cases, worse cases than this one at least a dozen times over. So why now? *You've lost control, Francis. Plain and simple. You've put your emotions and feelings before the needs and demands of the case.*
He rose from the desk and went to stare out the window. "God, I really hate the city," he said out loud to himself. Truth be told, it wasn't Chicago he hated. It was every city. Crowded. Dirty. That's how he always saw them. No matter where he was. No matter what country. He longed for wide open spaces and the freedom that came with that. He sighed heavily knowing that was one dream that he'd never be able to have.
He wandered over to the windows overlooking the main floor. He saw his team members working diligently at the assignments that he had given them.
Cody had already outfitted Jake and Alex with the mics and cameras that they would be wearing while out on their search, and was now busily typing away at his terminal trying to find all the information that he could dredge up on Amanda Blake and Katherine Dawson.
Monica was reviewing Katherine's file one more time and busily taking notes. He wondered if she would have the same conclusions that he had arrived at while he last perused her file.
Jake and Alex were pouring over the map of the search area, dividing up the territory so that no stone would be left unturned.
He watched them all with amazement. When he first took over as their leader, he was not impressed to say the least. He had at first found Cody to be nothing but a smart mouthed pain. Monica had been so unsure of her abilities that she was hesitant to share her viewpoints with him. Alex, he feared, would always become emotionally entangled in whatever operation they would become involved in. And Jake…….Jake, he thought, was nothing but a careless, over-confident hot head.
He wondered how they would react if he ever told them that when he took over leadership of this command he had been given carte blanche. The powers that be had told him that he was free to make whatever personnel changes he felt necessary, and that he had his pick of just about anyone involved with the justice department. During the course of their first case together, he had come very close to calling his boss and telling him that he wanted the whole team replaced. Only one thing had stopped him. He saw in each of them, some potential. He felt that given the right support and training, that this group could become a force to be reckoned with. They may not see eye to eye on everything but he had come to value each of their opinions and input. Even from Cody, he thought with a smile.
He turned back around and sat down again at his desk. A year ago, he had been nothing but an outsider. A man who had replaced their well liked leader. If today's events had happened then, he had no doubt that Jake would have had him brought up on charges quicker than he could blink. *If he didn't punch my lights out first.*
Even worse, he thought, what if Monica had not reasoned with him as effectively as she had. He shuddered to think about what might have happened.
After the situation had been diffused, Jake and Monica had followed him back up to his office. The three had talked for close to two hours about what had happened. He had no excuses for himself. How could he explain to them what was really going on in his life? How could he admit that he had seen the killer face-to-face and let her escape. Not only had he let her escape, but that he had spent nearly 5 hours with her in a little neighborhood bar making small talk like they were long lost friends. How could he explain that even though he had initiated a search for her capture, silently part of him wanted her to escape? Jake had insisted that the situation of this morning had been nothing more than a case of overwork and stress. Monica seemed to agree. They both knew that he often spent long hours going through case files well after the time that the rest of the group had left. They both assumed that he had spent the last five days cooped up in his office instead of taking the same time off that he had insisted that the everyone else take. He let them believe it. It was better than the truth.
After the discussion had ended, both Jake and Monica had insisted that he take the rest of the day off and actually spend some time relaxing. They could begin the search without him. They said that they had his cell and phone #'s and would call immediately if they come across anything of interest. At first he had protested, but finally relented. The truth was, his heart just wasn't in this search to begin with. Another fact that he couldn't share with them. So in the end, he had agreed to leave after he had finished up a few things. So after reliving today's events one more time, he decided to head home.
He left his office just about the time that Jake and Alex were also preparing to leave. All motion ceased on the floor when they heard him descending the stairs. All eyes were upon him and in those eyes he saw understanding and compassion laced with a small amount of apprehension and possibly fear. He couldn't blame them for fearing him. He had done the unthinkable and even though they seemed ready and willing to forgive him, part of him knew they he would never fully forgive himself.
Frank stopped when he reached the rest of the group and said, "I just want to say once again how very sorry I am about what happened earlier. What I did was unforgivable. I have no worthy excuse for my actions. Cody….Alex….I'll tell you the same that I told Jake and Monica earlier, if either one of you wants to bring me up on charges, please do so. Or if either one of you feels that you would like to be transferred to another unit, I would certainly understand."
Alex, Cody, Monica and Jake all exchanged glances and then Jake offered, " Yeah well, we've discussed what happened and figured that…..you know…..sometimes we take you for granted. The rest of us get to blow off steam whenever we want to, but we always expect you to have perfect control. I guess that's not really fair. I mean, hell, look at me……I always seem to be going over the deep end, and no one blinks an eye!" This elicited a few nervous grins around the group.
"I guess what I'm trying to say is that, we know that you're under a lot of pressure from the higher-ups to get results. That can't be easy. You know, keeping up that perfect Donovan record and all," Jake said with a hint of humor in his voice.
"So if you ever want to vent, I hope you know that you can talk to any of us. After all, we're in this together right? Who better to understand what you're going through."
Frank was truly speechless. He slowly looked around at the group and wondered how he had gotten so lucky. And to think, he had almost fired all of them.
"Just one more thing though," Jake added as Frank turned back toward him, "pull a gun on me again, and you better hope you kill me." His tone was tinged with humor but the undertone told Frank that he was serious.
Frank looked Jake in the eyes and an understanding passed between the two. Frank slowly smiled and extended his hand towards Jake. Jake at first just stared at him, and then seemed to understand that this was Frank's way of closing the book on what had happened. A guy's version of a hug of forgiveness. Jake took his hand and there seemed to be a collective sigh heard throughout the room.
"All right!" Jake started, "I believe Alex and I have a lot of mileage to cover and time's awastin'! Let's go partner!"
"We'll let you know the instant we come across anything," Alex added and then the two were gone.
Frank stood in the middle of the operations center and seemed at a loss as to what to do. Then he heard Monica clear her throat trying to get his attention.
"Go home Frank," Monica said. "We can handle this part of the investigation, and you promised to go and get some rest."
"I know. I'm going." And with that Frank started for the door. He stopped once more before exiting.
"Monica," he said, waiting for her to face him, "thanks………for everything."
Monica smiled in return. She knew he meant not only for the counseling that she had provided but also for talking the gun away from him.
"All in a day's work." she said lightly.
He gave her one last smile and left.
//////////////////////////////////
Across town, Katherine was solemnly looking out the window while riding the "L". Ever since she had left Frank on Saturday night, she had been in a terrible funk. Depressed. Moody. She had shut herself off from the world around her and seemed to wander around in a daze, unfeeling, unseeing.
*Damn it!! How the hell did I let this man get that close to me that quickly!" she screamed silently to herself.
She'd barricaded herself up in her apartment since that night, but suddenly this afternoon, the silence and solitude had been overwhelming. She fled her place as if it had been on fire. She flew down the stairs and practically ran out into the street, such was here need to be out in the open and away from the memories of that night. She had stewed in those memories for the past 36 hours.
She could recollect every detail about him. The exact color of his eyes. Warm honey or was it molasses? The way his beard framed his mouth and chin and that slight stubble along his cheeks. The gray that shaded his temples. The cute tilt of his ears. The way his eyes lit up when he really smiled. How his fingers wrapped around the glass that he drank out of. So many details. She remembered more about him than she thought she could ever recall about anyone else she had ever known in her life.
After she had made it to the street, she had wandered around aimlessly for hours. When she got tired of walking, she considered going home but the idea of spending another minute holed up in her room appalled her. So she decide to jump on the elevated train or the "L" as the locals called it. She had no destination in mind. She just needed to be on the move. She rode for a long time, back and forth, to and fro. Anywhere but home. For some reason she felt that just being on the move would help erase the thought of him. But after what seemed like an eternity, but in actuality had only been a few hours, she realized that she was kidding herself.
Maybe it was the events of the past year weighing so heavily upon her, or maybe it was the fact that it had been so long since she had truly enjoyed a man's company that made her want to cling to what little time she had spent with Frank. She had become very accomplished over the years in learning how to keep people, and men especially, at arms length. Entanglements, especially emotional ones, were dangerous if not impossible in her line of work. And, she reminded herself, she was very good at what she did.
She closed her eyes and tried to will away the swirling blackness of emotion that she found herself caught up in. Sighing, she opened her eyes. Nothing had changed. She was still alone and more than that……she was lonely.
With that thought, she decided that it was no use trying to run away physically from whatever she was feeling emotionally. Looking around quickly, she realized that she was very near the stop near her apartment. *Might as well get off now. Another hour or two circling the city isn't going to help.*
Just as dusk was settling over the city, she exited the train and headed for home.
//////////////////////////////////////////
Frank had left the warehouse some time ago, but hadn't felt like going home just yet. Instead he had decided to head over to a gym that he frequented close by. He knew he could use the facilities at work, but when he worked out, he needed to be away from whatever was eating at him and usually that meant whatever case they were following at the moment.
He worked out vigorously, trying to free his mind of all thoughts related to this case. Thoughts of Katherine, he reminded himself. After hours of strenuous exercise, weight lifting and kick boxing, he knew that it was useless. Although he felt physically spent, his mind was still racing. And after a cooling shower, he decided to finally head home.
He pulled his car into the parking garage at his apartment building, but hesitated on actually entering the structure. Stalling, he instead headed out toward the sidewalk with the excuse of walking to the nearby video store so that he could relax by watching a movie tonight.
He slowly walked down the street. Not really mindful of those passing around him. His thoughts wrapped up in the case at hand, when suddenly he heard someone call his name.
"Frank?"
He knew the voice before he even looked around. He closed his eyes, sighing heavily. He felt like he had just aged ten years in one second. He knew that voice. The voice he had been dreaming about. The voice he wished he'd never hear again.
When he opened his eyes, she was standing directly in front of him. The moment of truth had arrived sooner than he'd expected.
"Amanda," he said sadly.
///////////////////////////////////
Next chapter: Frank's moment of truth. Will he turn her in? Will she confess everything? Will they both give in to their attraction?????