Empty without you
"Oh my God, Trunks!" I literally jumped out of my car and ran to my son, who was unconscious in Piccolo's grasp. "What happened?" I asked, my friends crowding around me. "Where is Vegeta?"
When no one answered me, I felt a cold chill pass up my spine. I shuddered and looked up into the sympathetic faces of my friends.
"Bulma, there's something you need to know." It was Goku who spoke, but he seemed unwilling to continue. I looked to Krillin, who looked everywhere but at me.
"Vegeta is dead." Piccolo said with all his usual bluntness.
My eyes widened in shock as I tried to take in the information I had just been told. "It.it can't be true," I stuttered, completely held in a trance.
"Tell me that you're joking, Piccolo," I pleaded, desperate for the answer I wanted to hear, but the only answer I got was silence and a blank face from the Namek.
"Goku, tell me it's a lie, please," I clung to my childhood friend beside me, begging him to tell me that this is all just a joke. A cruel joke, but a joke nonetheless.
Goku turned to face me and without saying a single word he hung his head down in silence.
With trembling hands I released my grip on Goku and stepped backwards, tears streaming down my face.
"Bulma, Vegeta really is dead, he killed himself," Piccolo's words were like a knife stabbing into my heart.
How could Piccolo be so emotionless? I understand that Piccolo and Vegeta were never the best of friends, but Piccolo almost sounded like he was *happy* that Vegeta was dead.
"I'm sorry Bulma," Goku comforted me, though it didn't make any difference. Vegeta was gone, he was really gone.
"Why don't you and Trunks go home and have a rest Bulma. We'll contact you if anything happens," Goku suggested, and glanced at my son still within Piccolo's grasp. I nodded, not trusting my voice at that moment. Carefully Krillin carried Trunks to the car and laid him down on the passenger seat.
"Do you want me to come with you Bulma?" Chi Chi offered, stepping up.
"No, it's okay. Thanks Chi Chi," my voice cracked and I choked on my tears. Chi Chi gave me a reassuring hug and then I set off in the direction of Capsule Corporation, without saying a word of goodbye to my friends.
Once home, I avoided questioning looks from my parents and carrying Trunks I headed straight for my son's bedroom.
Gently laying Trunks on his bed and tucking him in, I stayed beside my son not wanting to leave.
He was all that I had left, Trunks was the only thing that reminded me of Vegeta. Soon I felt Trunks stir and I smiled softly while brushing away the strands of hair covering my son's face.
"Mum?" Trunks murmured his eyes only half open.
"I'm here honey. It's ok," I comforted reaching for Trunks' hand.
"Mum, where's father?" Trunks had his eyes wide open, staring at me in confusion. I bit my lower lip to resist the urge to cry, I didn't want to cry in front of my son. Leaning down I gave Trunks a kiss on the forehead and left his room. Trunks seemed to understand and did not call out for me or make a sound. As I left I did not look back at Trunks, because I knew if I did, the tears would come pouring out.
Still trying to hold a strong face I walked to my own bedroom. Each step was so painful, so heavy.
When I did eventually make it to my room I quietly closed the door and locked it. The last thing I wanted right now was to have to talk to my parents. I wanted and needed some time alone.
As soon as the door was closed, I let my barrier of strength break away as my emotions took over. My eyes were so blurred by my tears that I almost lost my grip on the handle of the door.
I made my way over to the bed and just sat and cried.
Why? That was the only thing on my mind. Why did you have to go and kill yourself Vegeta?
I couldn't move all I could do was cry. It seemed like there would never be an end to my tears.
Now that Vegeta was gone, I felt a part of myself had been taken away from me. I feel like an empty hole, so vulnerable.
How am I supposed to carry on without Vegeta with me? I'm empty without him. I know that he never did show any feelings towards me or to Trunks, but I know he cares. He's shown it more than once.
*Flashback*
A high-pitched scream echoed through the whole of Capsule Corporation early in the morning.
Tossing and turning in bed, I knew it was Trunks. Reluctantly I dragged myself out of bed and crossed over to my baby son.
I froze when I saw through the slightly opened door a figure leaning over Trunks' bed. Even in the dark room, I could make out that the figure was Vegeta. Curious, I stayed where I was just watching Vegeta when suddenly Vegeta reached out a hand stroke Trunks' head.
"The brat looks a lot like you, woman."
*End of Flashback*
Even though I remember seeing the scowl across his face, I had known the real meaning behind Vegeta words.
I cried knowing that I would never hear those words again. Those words that annoy me, yet I miss hearing. At first when Vegeta started calling me woman, I had been really irritated. What right did he have to call me woman? But over time, I had come to decipher the meaning. Whenever he calls me woman, I interpret it as being my woman.
I cried for over an hour until there were no tears left and my eyes were all red suddenly I heard a soft knock on my door. I wondered who it was. It couldn't have been my mother. Quietly I opened the door, revealing Trunks looking up at me.
"Mum?" I quickly wiped away the remains of my tears with my sleeve not wanting Trunks to see me cry.
"Trunks, what are you doing here? You should be in bed," my voice was hoarse. Trunks just stood standing at my door, not budging.
"You don't have to try and look strong in front of me mum," Trunks' words came as a shock.
I bent down and embraced my son and squeezed my eyes shut to stop any tears from showing.
"Don't cry mum. Dad will call you weak if you do."
I couldn't help but smile, knowing that Trunks was right. I let go of Trunks and ruffled his hair, smiling slightly.
"I'm glad I still have you Trunks, I don't know what I'd do if I lost you as well." Soon I tucked Trunks back into bed, knowing that he was tired and went to bed myself, but sleep did not consume me tonight like it usually does every other night. Turning my head sideways, tears swelled up in my eyes as I stared at the empty side of my double bed where Vegeta would sleep. I pulled my blanket closer to me and used them to muffle my sobs.
"Oh Vegeta," I whispered as my tears stained the blanket. "What woman?" I jumped up hearing a familiar voice answer me. Darkness surrounded me and I couldn't see anything but when my eyes adjusted to the dark, I could make out a figure leaning against my window. I could only imagine my eyes widening as I realised who it was.
"V.Vegeta?" I stuttered¸ not knowing if this was all just a dream or not. I pulled my blankets off me and ran to Vegeta, who caught me in his arms. Looking up into my lover's eyes, my own eyes filled with tears.
"You came back, you came back to me," I sobbed into Vegeta's chest. "Yes, I'm back woman," I couldn't help but smile through my tears. "Don't leave me Vegeta, please don't ever leave me again." My hold on Vegeta tightened, fearful that if I let him go, I would lose him.
"I won't, now go back to sleep. It's late," his voice comforted me and slowly he led me to our bed, where I laid down beside my lover.
And this time when I turned my head sideways, I was no longer looking at an empty space, but at my lover, watching me, a smirk plastered across his face.
*~*~*~*~ Once again I'd like to thank my friend Clio for proof reading this fic for me and help me write up the ending by giving me great advice as always. ^^
"Oh my God, Trunks!" I literally jumped out of my car and ran to my son, who was unconscious in Piccolo's grasp. "What happened?" I asked, my friends crowding around me. "Where is Vegeta?"
When no one answered me, I felt a cold chill pass up my spine. I shuddered and looked up into the sympathetic faces of my friends.
"Bulma, there's something you need to know." It was Goku who spoke, but he seemed unwilling to continue. I looked to Krillin, who looked everywhere but at me.
"Vegeta is dead." Piccolo said with all his usual bluntness.
My eyes widened in shock as I tried to take in the information I had just been told. "It.it can't be true," I stuttered, completely held in a trance.
"Tell me that you're joking, Piccolo," I pleaded, desperate for the answer I wanted to hear, but the only answer I got was silence and a blank face from the Namek.
"Goku, tell me it's a lie, please," I clung to my childhood friend beside me, begging him to tell me that this is all just a joke. A cruel joke, but a joke nonetheless.
Goku turned to face me and without saying a single word he hung his head down in silence.
With trembling hands I released my grip on Goku and stepped backwards, tears streaming down my face.
"Bulma, Vegeta really is dead, he killed himself," Piccolo's words were like a knife stabbing into my heart.
How could Piccolo be so emotionless? I understand that Piccolo and Vegeta were never the best of friends, but Piccolo almost sounded like he was *happy* that Vegeta was dead.
"I'm sorry Bulma," Goku comforted me, though it didn't make any difference. Vegeta was gone, he was really gone.
"Why don't you and Trunks go home and have a rest Bulma. We'll contact you if anything happens," Goku suggested, and glanced at my son still within Piccolo's grasp. I nodded, not trusting my voice at that moment. Carefully Krillin carried Trunks to the car and laid him down on the passenger seat.
"Do you want me to come with you Bulma?" Chi Chi offered, stepping up.
"No, it's okay. Thanks Chi Chi," my voice cracked and I choked on my tears. Chi Chi gave me a reassuring hug and then I set off in the direction of Capsule Corporation, without saying a word of goodbye to my friends.
Once home, I avoided questioning looks from my parents and carrying Trunks I headed straight for my son's bedroom.
Gently laying Trunks on his bed and tucking him in, I stayed beside my son not wanting to leave.
He was all that I had left, Trunks was the only thing that reminded me of Vegeta. Soon I felt Trunks stir and I smiled softly while brushing away the strands of hair covering my son's face.
"Mum?" Trunks murmured his eyes only half open.
"I'm here honey. It's ok," I comforted reaching for Trunks' hand.
"Mum, where's father?" Trunks had his eyes wide open, staring at me in confusion. I bit my lower lip to resist the urge to cry, I didn't want to cry in front of my son. Leaning down I gave Trunks a kiss on the forehead and left his room. Trunks seemed to understand and did not call out for me or make a sound. As I left I did not look back at Trunks, because I knew if I did, the tears would come pouring out.
Still trying to hold a strong face I walked to my own bedroom. Each step was so painful, so heavy.
When I did eventually make it to my room I quietly closed the door and locked it. The last thing I wanted right now was to have to talk to my parents. I wanted and needed some time alone.
As soon as the door was closed, I let my barrier of strength break away as my emotions took over. My eyes were so blurred by my tears that I almost lost my grip on the handle of the door.
I made my way over to the bed and just sat and cried.
Why? That was the only thing on my mind. Why did you have to go and kill yourself Vegeta?
I couldn't move all I could do was cry. It seemed like there would never be an end to my tears.
Now that Vegeta was gone, I felt a part of myself had been taken away from me. I feel like an empty hole, so vulnerable.
How am I supposed to carry on without Vegeta with me? I'm empty without him. I know that he never did show any feelings towards me or to Trunks, but I know he cares. He's shown it more than once.
*Flashback*
A high-pitched scream echoed through the whole of Capsule Corporation early in the morning.
Tossing and turning in bed, I knew it was Trunks. Reluctantly I dragged myself out of bed and crossed over to my baby son.
I froze when I saw through the slightly opened door a figure leaning over Trunks' bed. Even in the dark room, I could make out that the figure was Vegeta. Curious, I stayed where I was just watching Vegeta when suddenly Vegeta reached out a hand stroke Trunks' head.
"The brat looks a lot like you, woman."
*End of Flashback*
Even though I remember seeing the scowl across his face, I had known the real meaning behind Vegeta words.
I cried knowing that I would never hear those words again. Those words that annoy me, yet I miss hearing. At first when Vegeta started calling me woman, I had been really irritated. What right did he have to call me woman? But over time, I had come to decipher the meaning. Whenever he calls me woman, I interpret it as being my woman.
I cried for over an hour until there were no tears left and my eyes were all red suddenly I heard a soft knock on my door. I wondered who it was. It couldn't have been my mother. Quietly I opened the door, revealing Trunks looking up at me.
"Mum?" I quickly wiped away the remains of my tears with my sleeve not wanting Trunks to see me cry.
"Trunks, what are you doing here? You should be in bed," my voice was hoarse. Trunks just stood standing at my door, not budging.
"You don't have to try and look strong in front of me mum," Trunks' words came as a shock.
I bent down and embraced my son and squeezed my eyes shut to stop any tears from showing.
"Don't cry mum. Dad will call you weak if you do."
I couldn't help but smile, knowing that Trunks was right. I let go of Trunks and ruffled his hair, smiling slightly.
"I'm glad I still have you Trunks, I don't know what I'd do if I lost you as well." Soon I tucked Trunks back into bed, knowing that he was tired and went to bed myself, but sleep did not consume me tonight like it usually does every other night. Turning my head sideways, tears swelled up in my eyes as I stared at the empty side of my double bed where Vegeta would sleep. I pulled my blanket closer to me and used them to muffle my sobs.
"Oh Vegeta," I whispered as my tears stained the blanket. "What woman?" I jumped up hearing a familiar voice answer me. Darkness surrounded me and I couldn't see anything but when my eyes adjusted to the dark, I could make out a figure leaning against my window. I could only imagine my eyes widening as I realised who it was.
"V.Vegeta?" I stuttered¸ not knowing if this was all just a dream or not. I pulled my blankets off me and ran to Vegeta, who caught me in his arms. Looking up into my lover's eyes, my own eyes filled with tears.
"You came back, you came back to me," I sobbed into Vegeta's chest. "Yes, I'm back woman," I couldn't help but smile through my tears. "Don't leave me Vegeta, please don't ever leave me again." My hold on Vegeta tightened, fearful that if I let him go, I would lose him.
"I won't, now go back to sleep. It's late," his voice comforted me and slowly he led me to our bed, where I laid down beside my lover.
And this time when I turned my head sideways, I was no longer looking at an empty space, but at my lover, watching me, a smirk plastered across his face.
*~*~*~*~ Once again I'd like to thank my friend Clio for proof reading this fic for me and help me write up the ending by giving me great advice as always. ^^