~~~I'm Not Cold Anymore~~~
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: I don't own anything except my own characters.
Author's Note: This is my first Fanfiction and I worked REALLY hard on it!
Please Read and Review.
~~~~
Prologue
~~~~~
It was a long time ago, two years to be in fact, but he'd still wake up in
cold sweat remembering everything that happened that fateful year that
changed his life forever. He could still remember every moment that he
spent from the day he first met her, to the day she was taken away from
him.
How he even survived this long was still a mystery to him. He didn't
understand how any person could live with out the love of their life. Could
a person truly survive after seeing them murdered? Maybe he was proof that
you could live, but you wouldn't be living. A little over two years in this
hellhole of an apartment living all alone was proof of that.
The cold and evil spark that had once been in his steel gray eyes had
diminished only to be replaced with an empty, emotionless sign of pain that
had been there since he was at the tender age of seventeen. The man that
lives alone and barely survives is not the same as the young boy most
people remember as most likely to be destined for a long life of evil and
destruction. This is not the same boy that had screamed about the Dark Lord
rising, this wasn't the same boy that had used petty insults to cover his
insecurities and pain of not having a loving family or true friends.
This was a changed man, but then again, it's obvious that things change,
people change, lives change, but memories always seem to last forever. It's
those memories that keep him awake at night, that jolt him from a fitful
sleep into the eerie darkness that has become his life. He is Draco Malfoy,
and he is empty.
~~~~~ Chapter: One ~~~~~
Seventh Year: Hogwarts
It amazed him that every thing was exactly as he remembered it. The same crowds of worried parents, the same scarlet steam engine, the same groups of friends hurrying to get to an empty compartment. It had been a year since he had last journeyed to the infamous Platform 9 ¾, a whole summer had gone by since he had even been to his home away from home: Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. He would be in his seventh and final year of studies in the place that he had come to love. Though he acted indifferent to the secret passageways and thrilling history, inside he longed to roam them freely and discover everything they seemed to hide. It seemed though, that everyone was watching him. The Slytherins looked up to him because they knew that he would one day be powerful in their world. But most of the time he wanted to get away from their prying eyes and annoying companionship. He didn't want to be the son of the notorious Lucius Malfoy, he didn't want to be a Slytherin, and he just wanted to be himself. He wanted to be the person that no one knew he could be. He sighed at the hopelessness of the idea. Almost laughing at the picture this created in his mind. Imagine! Draco Malfoy shaking hands with Wonder boy and the Weasel. The idea was so ludicrous that he pushed it aside and continued his journey through the crowds of students, trying to find his way onto the train. It wasn't until he noticed a strikingly beautiful girl trying to pull a large trunk onto the luggage compartment that he realized that something was changing. For a split second he wasn't Draco Malfoy, evil Slytherin who was always followed by those two idiots. He was just a boy, the boy he wanted to be, and he was going to help someone out.
He slowly walked towards her, feeling a magnetic pull dragging him to the young girl. She looked about his age, with light brown hair that had interesting streaks of auburn and blonde running through it. She was about a head shorter than he was and her frame was slight and graceful even as she pulled her trunk with all her might, trying to get it onto the train. Her face wore an expression of frustration as she looked around for someone who could help her. Almost instantly, her eyes fell on Draco as he approached her and for a second their gazes connected and they both continued to stare, not noticing the students rushing here and there between them.
He was so close. Just a few more steps and he would be able to reach out to her, to help her. It was something he had never done before, which in its own right scared him because though he wanted a change, he didn't know how he would handle one as unexpected as this. If someone had asked for the person most willing to help someone in his or her time of need, you'd probably be told to find Harry Potter. Yet here he was, on his way to the unexpected. However before he could contemplate the situation further, two large boulder-looking objects stepped directly in front of him, completely blocking the girl from view.
Crabbe and Goyle. Perfect timing, as usual.
They greeted him and asked about his summer and though he answered it was icy and rude, but he couldn't help it, after a while they got very annoying and bothersome. And Crabbe and Goyle couldn't even be considered true friends. They just follow him around and abide by everything he ever says or does. It was frustrating, especially when he had a desire to be alone sometimes. Draco was still trying to look for the girl as he was pulled away by his two cronies to a group of Slytherins waiting nearby. They all huddled around him, waiting for him to say something insulting about the Gryffindors or pick on someone weak like Neville Longbottom, but Draco was so tired of this charade, he'd rather be talking to the girl he had seen before however as he looked back, she was gone. It was at that moment that the rational part of his brain snapped him back to reality, and made him scold himself as he realized what he had been saying. What was he thinking? Having thoughts like that for some girl he didn't even know. How could he make himself that vulnerable and just stare at her like that. He was so foolish to think that some girl could ever make up for all the power and wealth that this 'charade' would bring him. He would soon be one of the most feared and well-known wizards in the entire wizarding world, no little brunette was going to make him forget what was important, no matter how pretty she was. What was wrong with him?
The group of Slytherins made their way onto the train and into a nearby compartment as the train started to move. For a while he was perfectly content with the annoying small talk the entire group made, especially after the talk he had with himself, but after about an hour of boring and idle chit chat and ignorant comments about how all Gryffindors suck, Draco had to excuse himself from the compartment. He decided to head towards the other end of the train and walk around for a while before heading back to his friends, but as he walked he became so lost in thought that he didn't even notice where he was going, or the girl he ran into even when he was basically on top of her.
As Draco slowly came back to earth after toppling over in the small hallway, he realized that the small figure underneath him belonged to the stunning beauty he had seen before. He was shocked to see that it was she. She seemed completely shocked by his sudden actions that she didn't say anything, she just looked up at him, completely breathless. It wasn't until she realized she was being practically flattened by a guy she didn't even know that she tried to pull her self away from him.
"Do you mind?" she snapped a little more coldly than usual but the events that took place before she boarded this god-forsaken train were still fresh in her mind and making her a little irritable.
"Huh?" he asked, seeming genuinely dazed and confused, still caught in the moment that they had been in.
"You're kind of on top of me," she stated as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, which it was. 'Not that I mind too much...' a little voice in her head said before she promptly told it to shut up. It was the truth though, his muscular body, which was being supported by strong pale arms, definitely didn't seem to bother her when they were directly on top of her, but she scolded herself as she was reminded that she didn't even know this guy.
"Oh... Sorry, I guess I wasn't watching where I was going. Are you hurt?" He asked as he stood up and pulled her to her feet, his gray eyes meeting hers for a moment and visibly softening before the stonewall shot up again.
It was as if he had been transported back to reality and had remembered that he was a cold-hearted Slytherin, that wasn't supposed to be kind and compassionate. That was Harry Potter's deal. So he abruptly pulled his hand away from hers and snapped before she could even reply, "Well, if you're fine, can you move because you're blocking the hallway." he snapped before moving her to the side and pushing by her towards the bathroom. His hand was on the doorknob when her voice called out to him just as icily.
"You know, I believe it was YOU who ran into me and took about 5 minutes to get off, so don't just tell me to move. You didn't have to be so rude about it anyways... I mean one second you apologize and seem like a sweet guy and the next your some egotistical ass that thinks he can dictate what other people around him have to do. I don't think so buddy... Not with me!" she snapped, then pushed her hair out of her face and turned to leave, satisfied with putting him in his place.
Draco just stood there visibly shocked. No one had every questioned or snapped at him. He was Draco Malfoy, this girl didn't know who she was dealing with. He had to admit though, her attitude definitely made her appealing and even more intriguing than her looks. She was a little spitfire, that's for sure.
"Listen, I don't think you know who you're talking to, so maybe you should find out who to mess with and who not to mess with before you go making enemies with the wrong sort of people." he threatened.
However shocked he was at what she had said to him, he was even more in shock at what she did next. She laughed! It was a mocking sort of laugh. "I don't care if your the Minister of Magic, I'm not some little pushover that is going to abide by your every wish and command. Maybe your little followers will but I'm not like that, so don't expect it, or you've got another thing coming."
He chuckled as he inwardly admired her. "No, you definitely aren't like them. What's your name?"
With a slight frown she extended her hand and said "Adele Pryne."
A smile played across his lips as he grasped her hand and gave her his name. "Malfoy, Draco Malfoy." He saw her face soften as she smiled.
"Well, Draco, I really should get back to my friends, so I guess I'll see you around." With that she turned and walked away as Draco, his hand still slightly extended, realized that that might have been the first truly genuine smile he had ever received. As the students filed into the magnificent Great Hall, their attention was caught by the new and fascinating décor that they hardly even noticed a fiery brunette being led past all the decorations by a stern witch that everyone knew as Professor McGonagall. If you were too look only at her back you might think that the girl was being led away to be punished, but one look at her face, which was sparkling with delight and amazement and you would know that this girl was not in trouble. Since she was the new girl, she still had to be sorted. She was led to the front of the overwhelming room towards a group of nervous looking first years. Adele giggled to herself when she realized why all the young boys and girls were probably nervous. The three kids she had met on the train had been telling her about the Sorting while they waited to arrive at their destination. The redheaded boy named Ron, who had a lot of older brothers, had laughed when he remembered all the outrageous stories his brothers had told him. They had tried to scare him and make him nervous, which Ron sheepishly told her they had succeeded in doing. Hermione told her about how she had gone over every spell she had ever read about in order to be a little more prepared, but in the end, it was all worthless. There would be no wrestling against trolls, or tricky incantations to perform, but all the little first years didn't know what she knew. They didn't know about the raggedy old hat that would be placed atop the stool at any moment, the talking sorting hat that would determine their next seven years at Hogwarts. As every one took their seats, the same stern looking professor she had met before came back into view and stood before them on the top of the 'platform' looking thing, where the professors' table was placed. She pulled the sorting hat out from where it was half-hidden behind her and held it hovering above the stool, just about the perfect height for an 11 year old to sit underneath.
The old witch pulled out a long roll of parchment and started to look over it and then gave a speech on what was going to happen when she called everyone's name. This, of course, was something Adele already knew.
"We will begin with the new 7th year student that has joined us this year. Adele?" Adele slowly walked up the steps, as she walked to the stool and sat down she thought about where she would want to spend the next year. Would it be with the Gryffindors, where her new friends would be with her, or would it be the Hufflepuffs or Ravenclaws. Then Adele's mind drifted to Slytherin. She remembered being told about the Slytherin house, and all about the infamous Draco, and even though Slytherin was notorious for being evil, a part of Adele felt like she belonged there. She turned around and stared at all the faces before her. Her eyes drifted from the kind faces of her new friends to the welcoming faces of the Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws. Then her wandering gaze landed on Draco and she couldn't help but wonder what would happen if she became a Gryffindor. Any chance that she would have with him would be ruined, and she wondered if she was ready to accept that, because she had been genuinely attracted to him, during their brief interlude on the train. So she took her place on the stool where the raggedy old hat was placed upon her head, and she awaited her fate.
It was then that a little voice drifted into her ear, though she had been expecting it, it caused her to jump slightly, before settling down and waiting for its decision.
'Hmmm. Curious...very curious...You'd do well in Gryffindor that's for sure, but there is something here... something that calls out for Slytherin... I remember one like you that sat in this same spot before. You are quite similar to him, the same courage, insecurities, a past that you both wish to forget, this boy will become a great friend to you, everyone here will be, but you have to learn to let people in my dear." Adele didn't understand who the hat was talking to, and whispered, "Whoever it is, will you put me in their house?" and the old hat's answer came in one loud yell of "GRYFFINDOR!"
Adele smiled as the hat was taken from her head and she headed towards the 7th year Gryffindors, however, she couldn't help but frown when she noticed the particular blond boy sitting at a different table with the utmost look of disappointment on his face. And just like before, when he noticed she was looking at him, his face became the expressionless mask she had seen on the train.
She frowned slightly, but soon smiled as she reached her designated spot between Harry and a girl named Hermione, excited to start her new year with her new friends. They started talking immediately, going into a more in- depth description of the other houses and some of what had happened in the past years. It was very interesting, but she didn't like hearing about the hatred they had towards the Slytherins, Draco in particular, and reminded her that the Gryffindors didn't get along at all with the Slytherins, that her stomach dropped and she realized that the one guy she felt attracted to so far, and the one guy she might've been willing to give a chance and let in, is the one guy that she would never be able to have.
Little did she know, that across the Hall Draco sat silently picking at his food, thinking the exact same about her.
~~~~~ Chapter: One ~~~~~
Seventh Year: Hogwarts
It amazed him that every thing was exactly as he remembered it. The same crowds of worried parents, the same scarlet steam engine, the same groups of friends hurrying to get to an empty compartment. It had been a year since he had last journeyed to the infamous Platform 9 ¾, a whole summer had gone by since he had even been to his home away from home: Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. He would be in his seventh and final year of studies in the place that he had come to love. Though he acted indifferent to the secret passageways and thrilling history, inside he longed to roam them freely and discover everything they seemed to hide. It seemed though, that everyone was watching him. The Slytherins looked up to him because they knew that he would one day be powerful in their world. But most of the time he wanted to get away from their prying eyes and annoying companionship. He didn't want to be the son of the notorious Lucius Malfoy, he didn't want to be a Slytherin, and he just wanted to be himself. He wanted to be the person that no one knew he could be. He sighed at the hopelessness of the idea. Almost laughing at the picture this created in his mind. Imagine! Draco Malfoy shaking hands with Wonder boy and the Weasel. The idea was so ludicrous that he pushed it aside and continued his journey through the crowds of students, trying to find his way onto the train. It wasn't until he noticed a strikingly beautiful girl trying to pull a large trunk onto the luggage compartment that he realized that something was changing. For a split second he wasn't Draco Malfoy, evil Slytherin who was always followed by those two idiots. He was just a boy, the boy he wanted to be, and he was going to help someone out.
He slowly walked towards her, feeling a magnetic pull dragging him to the young girl. She looked about his age, with light brown hair that had interesting streaks of auburn and blonde running through it. She was about a head shorter than he was and her frame was slight and graceful even as she pulled her trunk with all her might, trying to get it onto the train. Her face wore an expression of frustration as she looked around for someone who could help her. Almost instantly, her eyes fell on Draco as he approached her and for a second their gazes connected and they both continued to stare, not noticing the students rushing here and there between them.
He was so close. Just a few more steps and he would be able to reach out to her, to help her. It was something he had never done before, which in its own right scared him because though he wanted a change, he didn't know how he would handle one as unexpected as this. If someone had asked for the person most willing to help someone in his or her time of need, you'd probably be told to find Harry Potter. Yet here he was, on his way to the unexpected. However before he could contemplate the situation further, two large boulder-looking objects stepped directly in front of him, completely blocking the girl from view.
Crabbe and Goyle. Perfect timing, as usual.
They greeted him and asked about his summer and though he answered it was icy and rude, but he couldn't help it, after a while they got very annoying and bothersome. And Crabbe and Goyle couldn't even be considered true friends. They just follow him around and abide by everything he ever says or does. It was frustrating, especially when he had a desire to be alone sometimes. Draco was still trying to look for the girl as he was pulled away by his two cronies to a group of Slytherins waiting nearby. They all huddled around him, waiting for him to say something insulting about the Gryffindors or pick on someone weak like Neville Longbottom, but Draco was so tired of this charade, he'd rather be talking to the girl he had seen before however as he looked back, she was gone. It was at that moment that the rational part of his brain snapped him back to reality, and made him scold himself as he realized what he had been saying. What was he thinking? Having thoughts like that for some girl he didn't even know. How could he make himself that vulnerable and just stare at her like that. He was so foolish to think that some girl could ever make up for all the power and wealth that this 'charade' would bring him. He would soon be one of the most feared and well-known wizards in the entire wizarding world, no little brunette was going to make him forget what was important, no matter how pretty she was. What was wrong with him?
The group of Slytherins made their way onto the train and into a nearby compartment as the train started to move. For a while he was perfectly content with the annoying small talk the entire group made, especially after the talk he had with himself, but after about an hour of boring and idle chit chat and ignorant comments about how all Gryffindors suck, Draco had to excuse himself from the compartment. He decided to head towards the other end of the train and walk around for a while before heading back to his friends, but as he walked he became so lost in thought that he didn't even notice where he was going, or the girl he ran into even when he was basically on top of her.
As Draco slowly came back to earth after toppling over in the small hallway, he realized that the small figure underneath him belonged to the stunning beauty he had seen before. He was shocked to see that it was she. She seemed completely shocked by his sudden actions that she didn't say anything, she just looked up at him, completely breathless. It wasn't until she realized she was being practically flattened by a guy she didn't even know that she tried to pull her self away from him.
"Do you mind?" she snapped a little more coldly than usual but the events that took place before she boarded this god-forsaken train were still fresh in her mind and making her a little irritable.
"Huh?" he asked, seeming genuinely dazed and confused, still caught in the moment that they had been in.
"You're kind of on top of me," she stated as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, which it was. 'Not that I mind too much...' a little voice in her head said before she promptly told it to shut up. It was the truth though, his muscular body, which was being supported by strong pale arms, definitely didn't seem to bother her when they were directly on top of her, but she scolded herself as she was reminded that she didn't even know this guy.
"Oh... Sorry, I guess I wasn't watching where I was going. Are you hurt?" He asked as he stood up and pulled her to her feet, his gray eyes meeting hers for a moment and visibly softening before the stonewall shot up again.
It was as if he had been transported back to reality and had remembered that he was a cold-hearted Slytherin, that wasn't supposed to be kind and compassionate. That was Harry Potter's deal. So he abruptly pulled his hand away from hers and snapped before she could even reply, "Well, if you're fine, can you move because you're blocking the hallway." he snapped before moving her to the side and pushing by her towards the bathroom. His hand was on the doorknob when her voice called out to him just as icily.
"You know, I believe it was YOU who ran into me and took about 5 minutes to get off, so don't just tell me to move. You didn't have to be so rude about it anyways... I mean one second you apologize and seem like a sweet guy and the next your some egotistical ass that thinks he can dictate what other people around him have to do. I don't think so buddy... Not with me!" she snapped, then pushed her hair out of her face and turned to leave, satisfied with putting him in his place.
Draco just stood there visibly shocked. No one had every questioned or snapped at him. He was Draco Malfoy, this girl didn't know who she was dealing with. He had to admit though, her attitude definitely made her appealing and even more intriguing than her looks. She was a little spitfire, that's for sure.
"Listen, I don't think you know who you're talking to, so maybe you should find out who to mess with and who not to mess with before you go making enemies with the wrong sort of people." he threatened.
However shocked he was at what she had said to him, he was even more in shock at what she did next. She laughed! It was a mocking sort of laugh. "I don't care if your the Minister of Magic, I'm not some little pushover that is going to abide by your every wish and command. Maybe your little followers will but I'm not like that, so don't expect it, or you've got another thing coming."
He chuckled as he inwardly admired her. "No, you definitely aren't like them. What's your name?"
With a slight frown she extended her hand and said "Adele Pryne."
A smile played across his lips as he grasped her hand and gave her his name. "Malfoy, Draco Malfoy." He saw her face soften as she smiled.
"Well, Draco, I really should get back to my friends, so I guess I'll see you around." With that she turned and walked away as Draco, his hand still slightly extended, realized that that might have been the first truly genuine smile he had ever received. As the students filed into the magnificent Great Hall, their attention was caught by the new and fascinating décor that they hardly even noticed a fiery brunette being led past all the decorations by a stern witch that everyone knew as Professor McGonagall. If you were too look only at her back you might think that the girl was being led away to be punished, but one look at her face, which was sparkling with delight and amazement and you would know that this girl was not in trouble. Since she was the new girl, she still had to be sorted. She was led to the front of the overwhelming room towards a group of nervous looking first years. Adele giggled to herself when she realized why all the young boys and girls were probably nervous. The three kids she had met on the train had been telling her about the Sorting while they waited to arrive at their destination. The redheaded boy named Ron, who had a lot of older brothers, had laughed when he remembered all the outrageous stories his brothers had told him. They had tried to scare him and make him nervous, which Ron sheepishly told her they had succeeded in doing. Hermione told her about how she had gone over every spell she had ever read about in order to be a little more prepared, but in the end, it was all worthless. There would be no wrestling against trolls, or tricky incantations to perform, but all the little first years didn't know what she knew. They didn't know about the raggedy old hat that would be placed atop the stool at any moment, the talking sorting hat that would determine their next seven years at Hogwarts. As every one took their seats, the same stern looking professor she had met before came back into view and stood before them on the top of the 'platform' looking thing, where the professors' table was placed. She pulled the sorting hat out from where it was half-hidden behind her and held it hovering above the stool, just about the perfect height for an 11 year old to sit underneath.
The old witch pulled out a long roll of parchment and started to look over it and then gave a speech on what was going to happen when she called everyone's name. This, of course, was something Adele already knew.
"We will begin with the new 7th year student that has joined us this year. Adele?" Adele slowly walked up the steps, as she walked to the stool and sat down she thought about where she would want to spend the next year. Would it be with the Gryffindors, where her new friends would be with her, or would it be the Hufflepuffs or Ravenclaws. Then Adele's mind drifted to Slytherin. She remembered being told about the Slytherin house, and all about the infamous Draco, and even though Slytherin was notorious for being evil, a part of Adele felt like she belonged there. She turned around and stared at all the faces before her. Her eyes drifted from the kind faces of her new friends to the welcoming faces of the Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws. Then her wandering gaze landed on Draco and she couldn't help but wonder what would happen if she became a Gryffindor. Any chance that she would have with him would be ruined, and she wondered if she was ready to accept that, because she had been genuinely attracted to him, during their brief interlude on the train. So she took her place on the stool where the raggedy old hat was placed upon her head, and she awaited her fate.
It was then that a little voice drifted into her ear, though she had been expecting it, it caused her to jump slightly, before settling down and waiting for its decision.
'Hmmm. Curious...very curious...You'd do well in Gryffindor that's for sure, but there is something here... something that calls out for Slytherin... I remember one like you that sat in this same spot before. You are quite similar to him, the same courage, insecurities, a past that you both wish to forget, this boy will become a great friend to you, everyone here will be, but you have to learn to let people in my dear." Adele didn't understand who the hat was talking to, and whispered, "Whoever it is, will you put me in their house?" and the old hat's answer came in one loud yell of "GRYFFINDOR!"
Adele smiled as the hat was taken from her head and she headed towards the 7th year Gryffindors, however, she couldn't help but frown when she noticed the particular blond boy sitting at a different table with the utmost look of disappointment on his face. And just like before, when he noticed she was looking at him, his face became the expressionless mask she had seen on the train.
She frowned slightly, but soon smiled as she reached her designated spot between Harry and a girl named Hermione, excited to start her new year with her new friends. They started talking immediately, going into a more in- depth description of the other houses and some of what had happened in the past years. It was very interesting, but she didn't like hearing about the hatred they had towards the Slytherins, Draco in particular, and reminded her that the Gryffindors didn't get along at all with the Slytherins, that her stomach dropped and she realized that the one guy she felt attracted to so far, and the one guy she might've been willing to give a chance and let in, is the one guy that she would never be able to have.
Little did she know, that across the Hall Draco sat silently picking at his food, thinking the exact same about her.